January 3, 2006
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Xanga Friendships Part 6
I think some of my friendships on xanga are different than some of my friendships that are nonxangan. To begin with, people respond to me differently on xanga than they do around the office. People are nice to me at work and consider me friendly. But if I were to walk up to a group of friends at work and say something, no one would respond by saying ”First.”
In addition, it appears that my friends on xanga are more transparent than my friends at work. I was IMing someone the other day and we were talking about how people will share things with complete strangers on xanga that they would never share with their friends at work. People share some things on xanga that they won’t even tell their spouse.
You also have people on xanga who will show their xanga friends themselves naked. Once again, I am pretty friendly at work but not once has a secretary flashed me. No one at work sends me emails with themselves naked. It just appears to me people are more willing to share of themselves on xanga.
I think there is potential for friendships to be different in other respects too. I think xanga brings people together that may never connect if they met in a work or social setting.
In what way are your xanga friendships different than your nonxanga friendships?
Comments (133)
1st
so close
yet so far.
2nd!
shoot!
In xanga the pressure of society fades.
Haha, that was kinda humorous.
well all of my friends that are on xanga are ones i was already friends with
Well, my friends on Xanga aren’t Pussies like my nonXanga friends.
9?!? haha, never been this high!
i only really talk to all of my real life friends on here, but i coment on you occasionally.. lol
Wow..top 10? (Maybe not by the time I hit submit though….hehehe.) I think on Xanga you feel more anonymous. For example, I would never talk about my psychotic weight thing to my friends that I have to see everyday, but I did a whole blog on it so I obviously don’t mind my xanga friends seeing it. Although, not once has someone said FIRST on my blog, or sent me naked pictures, so I think you’re special in that regard. LOL!
Really? Your friends wouldn’t come up to you and say first???
Hahahahhahahaha. And who shows you naked pictures of themselves??????????????????? Are you sure that isn’t a porn email, Dan?? Haaaaaaa.
My xanga and nonxanga friendships are the same, except for you! Will you be my xanga friend Dan hehehehe. Have a good nite. =D
in a lot of ways they are better for me than regular friendships. I feel that I can be more open with people on xanga, because a) I can always just stop talking to them if things go badly and b) most people on xanga that I am talking to already have invested some time in commenting etc on my sight so I feel I can trust them. It’s harder to get on someones nerves if you don’t see them everyday which also helps. I have rarely had someone I only know offline laugh in my face or tell me to shut up and go away. I get that in real life sometimes.
Also, xanga friends can make for great debate partners. None of my friends from school are good debate partners
Xanga friends encourage me a lot more than my regular things. So theres another thing.
Wow this comment is fragmeneted and akward.
-megan
Well, for starters, I get facial expressions from my nonxanga friends that I can actually understand. As for xanga friends, expressions like *_- or ^.^ just don’t make any sense at all.
Ugh, if I were to give a true answer to this, it would be long and boring, like all of my other comments on your site. However, unlike all of my other comments on your site, I wouldn’t enjoy writing it.
So… I plead the fifth.
wow, I said regular things. but I meant regular friends. I can’t believe I did that. but here is me correcting myself.
In general..smarter with better senses of humor. I like a friend who is quick-witted. I only have one or two of those in real life. Xanga is full of smart alecs.
Sitting behind a computer is protection. You can be completely honest because you don’t have to be as brave when you’re face-to-face.
People come up to me all the time and flash me…NOT. Actually, none of the out-of-the-ordinary stuff of flashing or “screaming” first happens on my Xanga nor at my workplace, but I do agree that my friendships are different.
Most Xangans don’t take what I write personally…more than likely because I am not writing about them in particular. However, if I state my opinions to some of my friends, they take it personally…or overthink what I am saying. It’s really just my opinion. I don’t really think it should influence their decisions…but they weight it more heavily than Xangans…maybe not. Maybe there are 100 or so people reading my every word and following me. Bwhahahaha. That’s um…stupid.
Really, I am just rambling and procrastinating…as always. Bottom line is I agree that people tend to share more openly on Xanga than in real life…maybe because your real life friends -more than likely- you feel are going to be there forever…whereas some Xangans just fade away, shut down their site, etc…they aren’t as invested. I realize there are some exceptions to this blatant general statement, but you know what I mean, right…
Okay, on to be productive…
About half of my xanga friends are real live friends I see around town….but as the ones I dont ever get to see, ie; You, Jonas, Caka, I take yall as very interesting people I could picture myself friends with.
Ppl I dont comment or want to comment [on their page] means I cant see them as a real life friend. But, I must admit, sometimes I comment to abide by the “comment for comment” silent etiquette.
Anyhoo, out to the club I go for some cocktails. have a good night!
most of the people on xanga are my friends in real life. i think on the internet, people feel more comfortable and get to show a different side of themselves that people they are physically around don’t get to see.
more open.
People are more honest on xanga… they know they can be.. they don’t have to worry about gossip or about having anything more than a typed out reaction…and sometimes people just write better than they talk. I do. I have several friends, one in particular, who are closer to me than the people I’ve known for years. All because of a comment or a post where we had time to really think about what to say and it started a very honest relationship.
((( GRANDMA HUGS )))
Lori
I think it’s funny, actually.
the first thing is a competition of status, which means people either 1) associate you with being popular, respect that popularity and in some small way, gain something from it. Or 2) just think that by competing and being at the top, while having no time to add anything else worthwhile, they have added to their status.
The strange thing about my xanga friends is most of them are my real friends, with satellite extentions to other places of people they know that I don’t. Occasionally I’ll meet someone new, but I can’t say I’m fortunate to be as popular as this. *grimace* I’m not sure I could handle it either. But you obviously have something worthwhile to say, and not all those naked pictures can be bad.
Well, I guess they could.
The anonimity offered by being ‘Jack’ on here (I have to say, it’s a nice touch to it all) allows you in freedom that society wouldn’t allow. It’s like being able to watch people’s dreams, which would be fine, I think, if the dreamer always remained anonymous.
Well its hard to pour your thoughts to your real friends cause I don’t think anyone have that much time or patience to listen to everything, and you can’t really block people in real life sometimes.. I’m not really sure though becaue most of my real friends are also my friends from xanga.
huh? What do you mean when you say, “the paint is wet?” Or are you being funny and going along with my “hhmmms”
Tell me, Dan, with all your xanga friendships, how do you make time for life ones?
so far, i’ve met like… at least 10 people from xanga. i’m still waiting for the time i go to a xanga meetup, and one of the hot asian girls turn out to be some big white guy with a beer belly who goes by the name of nancy.
I’m pretty equally bad at keeping in touch with both xanga and non-xanga friends and overshare information about myself equally with both. So…I don’t know. I think most of my non-xanga friends are older.
I think mostley so. Here you can’t see someones reaction, so if it’s bad, well who cares, and if they feel like they must comment, it’s just easier to brush it off.
Hope you are having a good night Dan.
Take Care
Seeing as how 85% of the people who read my xanga are my students, I’m pretty real. In fact, I guess I’m more real on xanga than I am at work because if I were as frank at work, I’m sure some folks wouldn’t like it. My students have actually told me they like being able to know more about me and respect me more than some others they encounter during their day. It is hard to explain.
The really private stuff stays private
there is more “openness” in a place like xanga because there is no eye contact or any form of physical contact . . .it’s all images and words . . . you can say anything and you might get a response. . . on xanga. . the response is just made up of words, but in real life, it’s coming from a living, breathing human being. . .
that was a pretty funny post
…and i just now saw your pictures for some reason, very cute. you’re so handsome! teehee.
the first thing that comes to mind is that i call people on xanga “dear”, “love”, “hon”, etc. more often. it may just be that i type those words a lot more than saying them out loud.
i also can pretty much say whatever i want, as i will most likely never meet these people. most people i’ve met on xanga seem to be a lot more open minded, too. i live in the bible belt and it’s hard to talk about some of the things i want to with people here.
i’m pretty much the same person with all my friends though, regardless of whether or not they have a xanga.
<3
I think I’m the opposite of you. On xanga, although I often use it to vent, I’m always careful about what exactly I write. I know that anyone can find my xanga at any given time. Nothing is private or safe on the internet. So, when I’m venting or something like that I often keep it general, no names, etc. In person, I am much more open to my friends at school, but I know that what I say to them stays with them. I just can’t get that security online. Perhaps I am paranoid, but one of my friend’s mom found my friend’s xanga and often reads hers and everyone else’s xanga. Althought I have no problem with that, I can see how somethings I might tell someone in person shouldn’t be read by people it wasn’t meant for.
Hey Dan, I’m sure you must have heard of PostSecret. And if not, where have you been?
The moral of the story is, make a post about it, because I want to know what everyone thinks.
I’d give you a fortune cookie if you do it.
WHO is showing nekkid pics??????? LOL
I’ve never shown naked pics to friends real or “imaginary”. LOL
I guess the difference to me is, I’ve just never met anyone in person. And I don’t think I’ve told anything to them that I wouldn’t tell my spouse. Good question, tho.
Kisses! Wendy
(This comment is a figment of your imagination. I’m on hiatus, remember?) : )
its so hard to be first! Thats why you have to announce it when it happens. and one day, perhaps I will be first. I am amazed if I even make the top ten!
Its just easier to be honest on xanga.
nekid????
Hah. I have no Xanga friendships to speak of. Or romantic ones, for that matter. But quite honestly, I don’t think I’d be one bit perturbed if one of my friends ran up to me and screamed “First!”.
This is just one of the sad facts I have to face about my life and the people in it. =_=
How is it different? I can say anything. It’s easier to end an online friendship than a real-life friendship. I rarely meet anyone I know online. But none of my online friends could be considered close friends or best friends, at least not currently.
Hmm… good question…
My friends on Xanga.. It’s weird, but we function on the same level as my regular friends and me. For the most part, my Xanga friends (readers) and I have some common characteristic (even if only one), which tends to happen in real life too…
And as far as what wxcruiser said about honesty on Xanga, I agree… People are more willing to say what’s really on their mind here because the biggest and worst result could be that some idiot on the internet disagrees and says bad things about them on their site. But who really cares? Face-to-face communication is much more limited because of caution and trying not to step on toes, hurt feelings, etc.
I’d rather have someone type expletives about me than actually say them to my face..
RYC: I didn’t. I work at a Chinese restaurant, and I used to collect the relatively clean fortunes from tables I was clearing, then post them on the internet when I got home. I’ve gotten too lazy to continue with that, but I still eat lots of broken fortune cookies (if they come broken in the package, they don’t want to give them to customers, so they let the waitresses eat them).
It was completely random.
Um I think I dont get into conflicts because there really is no xanga grapevine. Xangaland is pretty peaceful.
I can’t “hang out” with my “xanga friends” as I could with my friends. But there’s that level of intimacy that I wouldn’t have with my friends if they didn’t read my sites. That’s why I gave them access to both of my sites, so we could have that intimacy.
Thank you for your comments, by the way. I wasn’t expecting a comment back, ha ha. I appreciated it.
RYC: it already is
It’s easier to meet people with common interests, or to post about what I want without worrying about boring people… there’s not much social protocol involved, so it can be more honest and less complicated
Its a lot easier for me to be open with my xanga friends because my words are words I choose carefully to put down, or don’t choose at all, they just come. And because you’re not having to face them, its easier to just let yourself go, because if they do ridicule you, it hurts less because they can’t touch you.
I’ve found in my day to day life, I’m much more quiet, more introverted, and share only tomfoolery with people. On xanga I can express whatever I want, however I want and people can accept it, or not. It doesn’t matter to me, because its mine. Its hard for them to not accept what I tell them on xanga because thats the purest form of me, and they know that.
I share everything on xanga that I share with my friends and family. If I’m not ready to share it then I don’t post it. Pretty simple but it works for me. And I don’t do the naked picture thing.
RYC; Thanks for clarifying that post and your political positioning. You promote dialog but unfortunately many would rather exclude anyone who doesn’t agree with them. I’d say we could use 50 more sites like yours, but they are already spoofing your site in great numbers, so I’ll shut up.
Which I needed to go to Tim and explain,also.I keep learning new lessons daily, and in this case I turned a very funny (to me) happening into people having to explain themselves to me, and vice-versa, when I had actually taken everything the way it was meant..funny,enjoyable..So it’s all mybaddy,and I’ll try to remember I have to ensure my emotions are properly displayed.
As far as your post went, I took it exactly as you meant it, in a teasing way!Actually,I loved it, and NOT being a Bush supporter, I took it as a shot at the President’s actions, as a little political satire, all in fun.
My comments regarding Tim were all done in a lighthearted manner, although I noticed some of my well-placed smilies were missing.
The ONLY time I had any negative reaction was when the link to your site from Tim’s comment wouldn’t work, and I searched for the post. The very second I started reading it I knew you were kidding, and the bit of negativity turned to laughter. “Out loud” laughter! I really enjoy your posts. It’s a bit of a shame you have to wade through 50 or so comments before people quit yelling “first, second…” though. The price of success,I suppose.Well,cheers to continuing that success and a great 2006 for you and your family. J Peace Dan…Scott
I love my xanga friends. It is different. And I just have to say, “Thank goodness for protected posts!” Becuase my mom reads my xanga! ;/
I wish some of my “real life” friends would start xangaing!!
Shari
Well, nobody on Xanga has sent me pictures of themselves naked. Now, ladies, you may feel free to send the pictures, because I do enjoy a beatiful nude woman as much as I enjoy a nice sunset. Actually, I like it more than a nice sunset.
Actually, I’ve met some very nice folks trough Xanga and other online services. So far, they’re the same people in person that they are online.
Now, ladies, if you click on the picture to the right, you can find my e-mail addess and send those artistically posed nude shots. ;-P
Well, most of the people who read my xanga go to my school. The complete strangers that comment me either randomly comment, or I just randomly come to other peoples sites and leave a short few sentences before they answer me. I think I’m starting to like having friends online since I read that post you have. Actually, the first time I thought about having online friends came to my mind when I started noticing your site on featured and many adults who’s sites are popular. Also, I’ve been noticing some connection between your readers, as they also comment eachother back. I think that’s pretty cool!
Oh yeah, to answer your question, I sometimes don’t even speak to the people I communicate with online, even though they go to my school. Probably about 30% of my xanga readers are my real friends.
And I’m thinking about having complete online friends/strangers-the ones that I have a least likely chance of meeting, like you, or anyone else that posts up “mature’ entries! I agree to most of your comments you get about being more honest with strangers, rather than people we actually know.
I have thought of that once before!
ryc: No naked pictures? Darn. I feel cheated! LOL! Thanks for the “First”. I feel more special now.
I send pictures of myself naked to everyone I know on xanga. Not really. I’ve never met someone like that haha. Most of my “xanga friends” are people from work school 4-H or my youth group. But it is cool meeting new friends on xanga.
i used to share a lot more on my xanga.. that is until i found out everyone i knew read my xanga.. so now i tend to hold back a little… there are times when i actually do write some personal stuff on xanga, but they are only private entries.
i defintiely agree that friendships here are very different than in “real life.” i, personally feel like i share more things with people i know online than with people i know from work/school. i dont even know why. maybe people do it because they cant see how they react, there’s no rejection or anything. and if things dont turn out…its almost like it never happened.
besides my family who read my xanga, all of my “xanga friends” are people of a religion and a church that I no longer belong to. but I guess my xanga friends, they don’t get the complete truth all the time, but the truth that I think that they want to hear and the truth that I want to tell.
my xanga friends are able to talk about more than work….it is just deeper.
On Xanga I can tell all and it wont make a difference in me getting that bonus or promotion I’ve been up for. People here seem to be less judgemental. Heck if I told people at work I was hanging out on Xanga having good conversation with people I never met in person, they would never believe me…at work I’m so professional…on here…I’m just relaxed and say what’s on my mind…I think I like it here better.
Thank you friends!!!
<——– would never email a nekkid pic to Xanga buds. Unless I took one off a celebrity site and pasted my pic on it.
why is everyone spelling it nekkid or nekid? nvm don’t answer that.
My Xanga and other internet friends are more open and sincere, probably because they feel less pressure to wear masks.
Well, lately it seems as though my Xangan friends are more ready at the quick with support for me. I know my “real” friends feel it.. and think it… but they seem to forget to say it or show it anymore….
Maybe because, with Xanga, we’re here cuz we really want to be. Not because we are obligated to be…
all the people that ive met on xanga go to my school so i guess its a little different, but its like we feel close because we know so much about each other. Like once in a building i saw someone from xanga and i asked him if it was him and he’s like yea and we shook hands but it seemed so formal and we were like y are we shaking hands when we should be hugging so we hugged. hmmm dont think that answered the question completely..lol..o well.
xanga you don’t meet the person you just let your personality out more while in life its kinda well shall I say nerve wrecking? meeting someone new and you jsut don’t want to open up more I guess to your normal life friends.
i was about to say ive never had any online friend send me naked pictures. but i did once, i guess i chose to forget it, hmm great question, xanga friends are those random friends who read about my life
where as my non xanga friends, if im lazy i let them read but i mostly tell them my drama
I guess that is if others that we don’t personally knows us but judges us…we frankly don’t give a damn. BUT when it comes to people we see on a daily basis that knows us and talks to us often…we wouldn’t do that…just too scared.
RYC:: It said “I’m in love with a memory.
But…I still miss you.
(I love my awful French. And you know you love it also)”
I wrote it in French so that the person I was talking to wouldn’t be able to understand it.
Naked, eh? Who are these friends and where can I find them?
P. S. Cute story Mari!
That’s it. I’m subscribing. Your posts make me think.
I think that on xanga, like you said, Mr. Theologian, is that friendships are more transparent. People are more open with xanga persons that they will never meet than with friends whom they see everyday. Something that one says on their site, they do not have to account for tomorrow.
However, if you were to say something especially tender, meaningful, or angry, in real life, the next day people would call you to account for it. You’d have to deal with what you said.
I think that, also, it’s easier to write things down than to say them, even though it’s probably more precious to say it. It would be a lot easier for me to tell something personal to a person I met yesterday on xanga than it would be for me to tell one of my friends that I’d known since I was six.
It’s easier online because no one judges you in the wy they would if they knew you. Somehow, that really helps!
God bless,
Shohna
The geographic distance and anonymity removes the socio-economic partitions that would divide us in real life.
Unfortunately, more present, available. Most of my ‘real life’ friends are overwhelmed w/ the day to day of family, work…life in general. Time for the type of friendship that we (mature) folks enjoyed in our youth are, for me, a longing unfullfilled were it not for X.
If anyone can demonostrate to me differently, I would appreciate the heads up… I like to think I relate to my online friends the same way i do to folks physically present …
I (only once) received ‘pics’ of that sort from an online aquaintance – I’ve not communicated w/ her since – call it weird – but I equate ‘release’ w/ an image a ‘friend’ tantamount to unfaithfulness – different than the same behaviour absent said implement.
In a Xanga friendship, you can’t easily tell who a person is or what they’re all about…it’s not like you could spend the day with them.
Unless you both sit on the computer and talk all day…
Seriously? No one runs up and yells “first” at you in real life?!?
I feel more free to be myself and say exactally what I’m thinking and feeling to my xanga friends. There are no “strings” attached. I can be honest with them, with myself, and know that they will support me no matter what. I have also always had a lot easier time writing things down then actaully talking about it with someone. So for that reason alone I love my xanga and wouldn’t know what to do without it!!
Everyone knows that with Xanga they have the built-in protection of just disappearing for whatever reason they choose. We don’t have quite the same luxury with those we work with or have to have contact with on a routine basis.
So there is a tendency to be more open (in some cases obnoxious) knowing that we can always disappear into cyberspace.
As a benefit, that tendency toward open-ness is contagious and can lead to some very meaningful friendships and can get us there much more quickly as we are able to bypass a lot of the defensive barriers that we automatically engage whenever we are face to face.
L,r
First time stopping by.. nice blog. About half of my Xanga friends I have met, the other half are people I have met on Xanga. I try to lean toward a group of people that are pretty real.. Some times a weirdo or 2 will show up, but mostly women that have the same type of life I do like to read my blog and I like to read theirs.. I think it’s all in the company you keep
I really can’t respond to this because all of my subscriptions on Xanga are with people I know in my life.
I think that your xanga friends tend to be totally supportive and accepting, unlike “real” people. Of course your xanga friends don’t even totally KNOW you like those people do, so that may have something to do with it. But I know that my xanga friends were there for me when my “real” life people weren’t. It was nice to have someone on my side.
OK, Dan, I can take a hint… the naked pictures are on the way.
I can express my feelings with out anyone on xanga getting mad or running there mouths. It is a different world b/c on xanga you know this is basically you diary and people understand that or should. In other friendships they have there opinions and it is usually alot different then ours….
Hmmm… I don’t comment with a big SMILE
) and random story to everything anyone says to me. And comparing to my Xanga I don’t start every story with a related quote!
You said “naked”.
i definitely think i share more with my xanga friends than i do with the general public around me. I think sometimes its easier to open up to people who aren’t directly involved in all aspects of your life. This was made very real to me this past week when i confided more in my friends from here about what was going on with me than i did with everyone here in my every day life.
I don’t know why…maybe its just because we all spend so much time documenting our thoughts and feelings, and you just get used to a higher level of sharing with each other.
I was totally just clicking around and landed on some pictures of you and your family. What cute kids you have!!
My xanga friends are more likely to tell me something personal without even thinking about it. There’s something about not having to look someone in the eye when you say something that makes you feel safer about saying it. I do the same thing, I’ve told xangans things that I’ve never told my best friends.
The disconnection of Xanga makes us more open and more secure in revealing who we really are. I mean, if they don’t like it, we can block them.
my xanga friends know everything about me … I spill my guts on the daily basis … I can’t tell people at work what I say here … to busy working like a slave anyway! ha ha Well actually I have one friend like that at work … but if he say my xanga page he would prolly flip! You guys know way more!
*too busy
*he saw my xanga page
wow … I can’t spell today! ha ha
a few of them are people i would never actually talk to, most of us don%t know each-other, stuff like that i guess?
*about the naked thing, my friend taylor flashes people at school sometimes and says, “Spring Break, WOOO!!” ….he%s kind of stupid.
It’s easier to share things on Xanga because it’s safe. That’s why so many people feel like they can share things they normally wouldn’t – there’s very little risk (if any) of getting hurt. It’s another situation entirely to be looking someone in the eye and letting them see you for what you really are inside…
Good morning. I’m just too tired today to answer lol
RYC: you should ask her…no, on second thought, don’t ask her, if she hasn’t thought about it yet, she might start. Ummm… I know mine would!
I guess I have more social interaction with my nonxanga friends than I do with my xanga friends. Happy Wednesday, Dan! =D
i think my friends are the same on xanga as in real life. people are still timid in what they say to me. personally tho, if one of my friends needs a reality check type dealy, i would give it to them xanga or no xanga. i think the reason people are more bold on xanga, is because its “safer”. you dont have to feel awkward if you say something someone doesnt like.
I think I am willing to share more with my xanga friends. I think maybe it is because you know that they do not know people in your life so it won’t get spread around. LOL
Good post. I think you’ve covered most of the bases here. But xanga friends are also very complimentary.
It’s more blind on xanga … as in outward appearances.
But, I’m equally as self-concious in both “real” and “cyber” friendships.
I think you can almost learn more about people on xanga because most people will say just about anything on here.
Another good post. I’m gonna start subscribing as of today.
I’m with a lot of the others…they’re different in that they’re safer, less threatening. If I want to vent I can, though I’m usually still awfully careful as you never know who might peek in and find you.
aaaauuucckkk! i dont ever want anybody to send pictures of themselves naked to me. ever!
It’s a great thing that your ‘real life’ friends don’t do that whole 1st/2nd/whatever crap. That’s ridiculous anyway.
So anyway. I think on Xanga, gender and age don’t really matter. Of course, that does NOT mean that I’ll befriend a 13 year old girl, because in most cases, they will *NOT* know how to write so that it’s ReAdaBlE…know what I mean?! And their grammar? Forget about it.
BUT, I can be friends with someone who’s 20 years older than me, and it’s totally good.
My xanga friendships are not that different from my other friendships but just so were all on the same page Im not sending anyone naked pictures of me. Not only because that would be considered harassment but also because its not Halloween.
I had a friend once……….
the difference is
one is through internet
the other is not
Well, I think people are more open on Xanga because Your likely to never meet them, and they don’t know you at all. Its like a fresh start. There are some things I’ve said in my comments I’d not tell my closest friend. Xanga is almost like a saftey zone. You can be yourself without (Most) people condemning you.
Well..Most if not all my friends are online. Due to the fact I’m in what my friends call, The Ivory Tower. But even though its strictly online, its STILL different from Xangian friends.
I’ll never know a Xangian friend in person. There’s a chance I might with my other friends
are you saying that you want people to send you naked pics of themselves?
just remember that xanga is how we built our friendship.
No Egg Shells. With co-workers/friends you have to watch how you speak. I have many old friends that I can say whatever I want any way that I want. That’s how friends should be…but not with the current group of people I know. Can’t say I really have any Friends that I hang with. Time. But Xanga you can truely be yourself and have your opinons without caring what other people thing. That sounds weird, but true.
115th!
i agree with you. i’m so much more transparent online where i can be anonymous.
My xanga friends are people who are less likely to judge me because they are not in my immediate environment. When I first started on Xanga I was in a small college and apart of a tight music scene. A lot of people in those “scenes” could judge me based on what other factors were going on. I needed a new group of friends without those biases to bounce ideas and happenings off of.
I love having a group of friends that don’t know any of my “real life” friends. It makes life so interesting!
Where are these naked people?
How inviting and personal!
Weird.
simple. you don’t have to put up with your xanga friends face to face.
*foof*
can we address the issue of why the heck people get so excited to be one of the first to comment on sites? seriously. do tey REALLY get excited?
anyway…xanga friendships? huh?
i dont really have many xanga friendships, most people im friends with outisde of xanga.
they get to read my innermost thoughts and so therefore we are able to discuss it.
lol no xanga frindships if you include yourself then……….lol
i don’t know i’d like to get to know you more you seem like a neat guy
did you say you grew up in Merriville?
Erica
I feel as if I could say anything and not be judged
I’m funnier on Xanga. People think I’m cool on Xanga.
They don’t seem to be all that different to me.
My xanga friends only get to see & know selected things about myself…the picture I choose to create. My nonxanga friends know me through good & bad times. I can’t always hide what I don’t want them to see.
People are more open because it is usually easier to talk about more personal aspects of themselves on Xanga, including me. It should have some moral limit, though. But I am not one to be judging morals.
I think Xanga is a great way to exchange ideas, but I would not consider anyone a friend except for the people I know in real life. I have aquaintances, but unless you meet face-to-face, I think there is a barrier set up to prevent preditors and people who would abuse the information you put out that is not there with real aquaintances.
interesating situation…
as always
hmmmmm
i got started on xanga because of my twinnie..
alot of people i know in xanga i met in chat
but as time goes on…
i pick up people to read that i find interesting..
i do not want anyone i know real time, who does not understand the net life thing to read me..
my xanga is for me..
if people read it fine…
not a big deal to me..
READING other peoples xanga, is what i enjoy…
and i miss people when they leave.
i get a feeling for the people i read… they matter to me. alot
this goes in to the whole realtime vs virtual debate..
to me…
everyone is REAL:)
I have duality in life, I have duality on xanga. Outlets for everything in me. Ive met some people on xanga, with more in the works. All were exactly in person they way they presented in their blogs. The person I knew in real life who brought me here in ’03 and my first blog is not who she writes as, so she is the opposite.
I am exactly who I am on xanga in real life. Even the blogs exploring unsavory parts of myself in a safe manner, through writing, and those based only on true experiences are all a part of me. Even the fiction project im thinking of starting is a part of me, or going to be. I want to examine the dark side of a good person.
Its ok to explore something your curious about on xanga, or trying the experiment of seeing peoples reactions to what you present. If you feel bad because you WANT to be who you pretend to be through your ‘nym, then thats all you need to do it, if thats best for you. You know what you want, half the battle, then make the simple change of BEING what you want. Not trying, or wanting it, doing it.
Easy as that. Impossible to explain. So easy to do, but impossible to teach.
There’s less to loose
If you wanted you could block them and end the friendship
Never having to see them again
Its safe
Real life isnt
it’s easier to get to know someone… you can do it at your own leisure.. there’s no hassle of meeting up… if you had just met someone you might not make a real effort to continue to get to know them better… but on xanga, it’s easy… very casual… and there aren’t any expectations
I think that on xanga people feel that there aren’t really consequences to things said. If I post about how one person annoys me, most people don’t know who that person is. I am also a different person online; I say private things to online friends I’ve never met because sometimes it almost feels like no one is receiving my thoughts. I don’t know how to explain it, really