January 11, 2006
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Family
One of the ideas that is commonly expressed in my church is that there is a breakdown of society. The blame for this breakdown is sometimes given to the breakdown of the family. There are those that would point to the idea that families are not what they used to be. They are unable to spend time with each other because they have all these activities that are programmed into their schedule. In addition, the thought is that because of divorce families do not have the same stability as they once had. I want to take some time to look at the family in a few post here. But I would like to first look at the current status of the family.
Is the status of the family broken down as compared to 50 years ago?
Comments (123)
Yes
*hides face in a shame* what a boring first answer. I’m sorry!
If you let it be.
Ha. First multi-word answer.
well my dad was a child 50 years ago and his family life sucked.. it depends a lot on the family unit.
In the not-so-distant past, families could survive economically with only 1 main wage earner.
One person was able to stay home with/attend to any children.
Not so anymore.
I would have to say yes… seems like the norm is to be a kid of divorced parents with 2 addresses nowaday… definately not idea, at least not what it used to be.
definately not ideallll… that is what I meant to say
Though each situation will vary, the general trend is that family is more broken down than they were fifty years ago. We’re far more engrossed in a culture that screams for us to do whatever we please — this takes many forms, from a work-a-holic father, to a mother who has little interest in her family, to the child who prefers to play video games all the time, to the teenager who’s never home. A family that doesn’t even eat dinner together is almost certainly not praying together and doing other important things. It is a family (especially the parent’s) responsibility to raise their kids “in the way they should go” and to disciple them — when this isn’t happening, what do you expect when these kids grow up and become “society”?
No. What was it fifty years ago? From what I’ve read and heard, just as “phony” as we see the family today. Just in a different way. Everything has to be taken in context. Moderation, god damn it.
Really, though. The family unit has been serving the same purpose for centuries. And maybe it’s changed slightly, but overall? Still serving the same function. And as the human race is still alive and thriving, I’d say that someone somewhere has good parents.
i agreee with the last person…
http://www.fsu.edu/~popctr/papers/floridastate/03-148.pdf
In my sociology class, we learned that there are more unified nuclear families (in the traditional sense) now than they were in the 50s. Reason we always stereotype the 50s as the “good old days” is because of the media portraying itself as such during those days. In my opinion, I think that the return to religiousity is the breakdown of society, not the idea that the family is breaking down.
no
I think the idea of the “breakdown in society” or “breakdown in the family” is the result of living in a culture that fears change. Change requires adaptation and work. Adaptation and work are hard, so we associate change with negative things like “breakdown.”
Have society or the family changed? Yes. Are they breaking down? Absolutely not.
yeah
yeah
nope
peace max
Families have definitely changed since 50 years ago. Whether one classifies such change as a “breakdown” depends on whether or not you believe some ideal exists from which one can break. Since I do, I suppose my answer would be “yes.”
for society in the USA….yes.
my parents were born in 1930. from that time until 1960′s the male was mostly absent from the picture due to depression, WWII and Korea. The woman raised the children and took care of the household duties. During WWII she started working outside the home as well. I really don’t see out the dynamics has changed but more how we look at it and how today’s family is perceived.
I think that the values that people have in general have changed over the past few years. People are a lot more selfish now then they have been in the past. People don’t stop to consider other people’s feelings. A lot of people want to raise their kids and give them all the things they didn’t have. I think that is fine, but you also have to give your children discipline and values. You have to have your kids understand that they have to work to earn things. So many kids now days don’t understand that concept. It just feeds further into the fact that people in general think the world should revolve around them, things have to be easy and perfect for them, and they always have to be right and happy. Nobody tries to compromise in relationships anymore.
I also agree with RazorWirePubicHair. People are just more open about things now than they were in the 50′s. We had the same problems, they were just behind closed doors and you didn’t dare talk about them let alone do anything to change them.
Erika
Yes, maybe not over the way things were 50 years ago but compared to the ideal, families today are really broken.
Tim
Most definiately. We’ve gotten “too busy”. I remember when I was younger. We spent a lot more time with family and extended family.
I’m divorced, but I make a point to have my kids and I, at the very least, sitting down together for dinner whenever possible.
Yes, the divorce rate now is over 50% in some states; and I’m one of them.
Life in general has become a lot less family oriented and therefore I believe that by society not allowing us to have the family time and memories that many experienced fifty years ago and before, the family unit is starting to break down. It depends on the family though. My friend’s family completely reminds me of the fifties, stay at home mom and everything. On the other hand, I’ve seen families that are completely messed up and torn by divorce and teen pregnancies.
Troy
I think that familes may have broken down somewhat as a result of the framework that supports families– a strong sense of community and belonging– has been broken down by our tremendous geographic mobility.
Yes. Because of money, parents working more because of it, there’s definately a problem.
On the outside yes, it does seem that way. But when you take a closer look at the situation it is not that much different. The biggest change presently is in the frequency of divorce, but the same issues that lead to those familial disruptions now, existed then. They were just as prevalent, but reamined underneath the surface a lot of times. The teacher Quoleth said it best “nothing new under the sun” right? I think we sometimes believe there is this great and horrific breakdown, because of how much more visible it is today. More is discussed in the marketplace of ideas today than ever before, not as much is swept under the rug and thought of as “just the way things are”. Consider the findings of Freud. Yes it is true his theories are now considered very off base, but he was basing his ideas on what he heard from his patients and about their home life. Reading about the conditions in which most of his female patients grew up is quite sickening.
Another interesting point to consider: in my family ministry class, almost seven years ago now, we spent one class discussing the family sit-coms from the 50′s and 60′s. Some of the most popular were Leave It To Beaver, The Andy Griffith Show, My Three Sons, The Odd Couple. Of those four shows, only one portrayed a “typical” nuclear family. Others portrayed a very non-traditional family. So when you look at that factor, it makes you take pause to consider that maybe we idealize the past a little too much, and put the good old days on way too high of a pedastal.
Both of my parents are on their fourth marrage, and it isn’t to each other.
The only separation of families is between the two. My dad’s side stays to themselves and my mom’s side stays to themselves. Since me and my little brother are related to both, we make it a point to have double holiday visits.
But we accept everyone as family, regardless of who has who’s blood. Half and Step brothers are just as much family as my true blood siblings.
But then again…. i’ve always been the exception to most rules. I don’t think most families have the same stability that mine does.
Definitely.
H
Yes.
Nicholas
Yes. Distractions have a lot to do with it – Parents work crazier hours now (Gone is the standard 9-5 work day), kids have more ways to spend their time (TV, internet, IM, etc), and everyone just seems to be scattered. It takes a conscious effort to spend quality time together as a family.
It certainly is.
oh my, YES. I think many families don’t even know each other.
I believe something as simple as eating together at the TABLE does wonders for keeping a family close.
Our societal norms…. the supreme goal of something more than we possess today…. reaching a final destination (that does not exist)… these concepts are in flux…
These periods of great change are always demanding.
We either adapt, or we die.
Well,
I wasn’t around 50 years ago. However I would say that there has been a breakdown in family. Mostly in how people view the importance of family. Also in the family stucture such as divorce and gay weddings.
I think that a lot of this has to do with the need for (often) both parents to work out of the home. The children are left to the care of others, and eventually to care for themselves. There just isn’t the same sort of family “unit” that there used to be. Not to mention how many activities children are in these days. They have no time to just be kids anymore…and of course there is technology…video games, etc. No longer are the days of playing outside.
I think so, and part of the reason is because mom’s went to work. Now it seems like most mom’s have to work just to pay the bills.
Absolutely! Fifty years ago, most families had a mother at home who actually knew what her kids were up to and a dad that came home at night, both parents having a real sense of responsibility for raising their kids themselves more than accumulating goodies or making sure their kids were in all the “right” activities. Still, even then, it might have been better for some kids not to have one or the other or both there. It was far from ideal back then but at least ideals were still instilled into kids instead of letting them feel abandoned, uncared for, and less important than mom or dad’s financial portfolio.
The value of a family in the eyes of individuals has become increasingly less substantial, imho. One thing that my small group discussed was the fact that a lot of families are living farther distances away from each other so it makes it harder to have extended family there for support during a divorce or a death. 50 years ago there were a lot of families that didn’t even have a vehicle that didn’t require hay at night, so yes I think that the status of the family is broken down. Also the fact that money has become increasingly more available has caused a higher divorce rate. Money fights and money problems are the #1 cause of divorce in America so I think the availability and ignorance of how to handle money are also contributing factors.
yes
I think that the concept of “family” has certainly changed over the years, but I am not sure that families as a whole are are falling apart. Each generation has the idea that the generation or generations before were better in some ways and worse in some ways. I wonder what my kids will say about my generation and the one before it. They may think that our families are much better than theirs. They may think we had a screw loose. Probably some combination….
Yes I feel they are broke down.
If a family “breaking down” means, uh, breaking down (divorce), then statistically the answer has to be yes.
If the argument is that families fifty years ago were broken down but people just didn’t get divorces, then yes, that accounts for some of it, but I do think that Americans have an overall attitude that family is not as important as it used to be and that divorce is the best answer when marriage isn’t easy anymore.
society should not depend on the perfect family with a white picket fence. people need to do what’s right for them; and if that’s divorce or an alternative lifestyle so be it.
Is definitely really such a hard word to spell?
no … not at all … we like to think that there was some nostalgic time when things were “perfect” … when families looked like Donna Reed and the other idealized sitcom families … those images are more fabricated than anything.
Read Stephanie Coontz’s book The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap … it’s a very interesting and well researched historical examination of the way we imagine some ideal in the past and then bemoan how terrible things are today, when really, there are always problems facing society and always challenges for families (and for education and for relationships etc.)
Times change, problems change, cultures change … we can make comparisons to the supposed Golden years of the American family, but it’s ridiculous to hold some other era (in which most of us didn’t live or don’t really remember all that well) up on some pedestal … maybe many families look different now than they did in the past, but that doesn’t mean all the values and morals and such are out the door … some families (of various structures) still provide love, support, encouragment — others don’t … the same way not all families matched what we construct and remember as a false ideal back then, whenever “then” is …
50 years ago, a life in the day of a family was Daddy going to work after breakfast with the family, Suzie and Bobby going of to school, while Mother stayed @ home with Jr. The kids came home to a mom, not a key under the front door mat. They played, did homework, and then Daddy came home, and they ate dinner as an entire family. Now, if there even is a Dad (or mom), he doesn’t eat breakfast because he over slept, and he over slept becase he didn’t get home from the office until 2am. The kids a whisked out the door to school, mom drops off Jr. on her way to work, and the only time they eat together in on Holidays… and even then the football game is on. Family? Oh! You mean those ppl that I live with?
Yes, but I would lay the responsibility for that break down primarily at the feet of the church.
ur a damn nazi..wont let ur kids on the internet. jesus. trust ur kids!
Absolutely. I think that strong family influences in a person’s life are necessary no matter the make up, but as I have expressed on my xanga during this past holiday season, my family, particularly the extended family, has lost its fight against falling apart. We hardly spend holidays and birthdays together and I’m never home and will soon be moving out, so even parents are a rare influence/active part of my hectic life. I feel detached.
I’m not saying divorce is wrong, nor does it have to have an effect on the health of your family (and largely, society) but if you let it (and this happens a lot, I’ve seen it be so), it will.
What my point is, divorce isn’t the only issue in this society that is causing the break up and loss of family influences, though divorce can be part of it – but not all divorces, mind you. Something has happened to ‘family’, I just hope to someday start my own and stay together, with extended family or not (however my family ends up…).
and no. heres why. things are more in the open now which is MUCH healthier. if a dad abuses his daughter..fine it gets told. beats around his wife? divorce. u kno why that myth that gonorrhea could get contracted from toilet seats started? physicians in the 1940s and 50s saw little girls 12 and 13 years of age with gonorrhea. rather than admit that they were familial rape victims they made up a bullshit diagnosis to save embarassment. things are progressing now and if it takes a divorce to show people that they’re not right for each other fine..better to have a way out than not.
instead of being unhappy in a marriage 50 years ago, when divorce was not common, now people are free to seek happiness after making a mistake. stability comes from love, not activities or legal action that stands in the way.
my kids and i are much closer than the one i grew up in. my dad died when i was 12, and my kids dad and i seperated when the kids were quite small. it is a hard one to judge. i still like/love my dad since he was as there for me as he could be while he was alive. i cannot say the same for the kids dad. but i know we are very close and the kids always have and had my time and attention. it shows in the kind of adults they have grown up to be.
I think so. It seems that the importance has shifted from spending quality time with your family to maintaining a “successful” household, no matter the cost. So many will throw everything away for the all mighty dollar.
I dunno… I think things were more covered over 50 years ago…
I guess I would still think it is much worse today… at least it appears to be worse.
Good topic.
Generally I would have to say yes.
Yes, I suppose so, but times change. As much as we’d like them to, things can’t stay the same way they were 50 years ago. I guess you could call it a breakdown, but families are just busier these days. My family and I sat down for a meal together the other day, for the first time in months, but we’re not breaking down. We’re still very close.
Also, things weren’t so great in the 50′s either. There were alot of things kept behind closed doors, that people talk about now. I think someone else mentioned this above. I guess because things aren’t swept under the rug, families can’t keep up such a perfect image.
Yep the family structure has surely suffered. With parents trying to work two jobs to support the family and the lack of communication, I’d say it’s a lot different from 50 years ago but I don’t see any really obvious solutions…
Pesky
of course…
I think it’s just more obvious now how screwed up families are. We are much more willing to air our dirty laundry than we were in the 50s
It does make a difference. You are listed multiple times on the featured content. I mean, I know you are a good read and all, but personally, I’d like some variety.
I agree with JoyAbound. Besides… some teens are extremley rebellious.
Yes,but the most scary thing is that today it’s okay. I come from a single parent home with lots of love! God works all things togther for glory, but even so, One parent can’t be two.
Divorce has become acceptable when people should be taking more time before they get married to make sure they are making the right decision about the rest of their life. Marriage should not be looked at as something that could always be undone.
People have become more concerned with acquiring materialistic things than morals and ethics.
People have become weak because of wonderful (really counter-productive) organizations like Mothers of America and the idea that you can sue for just about anything. If shit happens suck it up, overcome, and better yourself.
Parents need to become more involved with their children at an early age (not just give them toys). Parents need to teach them and spend time with them.
The concept of individualism that America cherishes so much is what is destroying it at the same time. Every person for themselves is not the right way to go. People need to be more selfless otherwise this country will continue to decline.
I believe so, however we must remember that we can dilliosion ourselves into believing that things in the pat were perfect that is not true
Families have been messed up throughout the ages…most families kept it a secret back then. Now, we don’t mind it being public or divorcing as a result of it.
i wasn’t around fifty years ago, so i don’t really know. on one side my grandparents were divorced, but on the other they had a very strong family, probably stronger than the one i’m a part of now. i’m all for the family, but i think the groups like focus on the family are working toward the ideal family and not necessarily something that used to be and no longer is, or at least i hope they are. because if they’re working toward what used to be, they’re going to work toward the flaws that those families had also.
i woudlnt know
mmmmm yeah.
many people are divorced and children are running away
I blame it on money
p.s. i wouldn’t put the blame of any kind of deterioration on anyone other than ourselves. it’s your life, your family’s lives, for goodness sake. take some responsibility. (not you in particular, just “you” as in “us in general”)
Hmm. I havent been around 50 years, but the divorce rate is really bad. From personal experiance I would say that familys arent in good shape. Though (besides a few kinks) my family is pretty good
yes, due to so many reasons….so many….
I say yes for many reasons.
I was just thinking the other day how families used to stay around each other in closer proximity. Today we tend to be more scattered in a lot of cases.
There are greater demands on our time than there once was. Of course many of these demands translate into more and better opportunities for our kids.
One of the biggest problems with family unity today is that so many moms don’t stay at home with the kids. Point the sexist finger if you want, but kids need their moms at home when they are growing up. I know that in a lot of cases that isn’t possible particulary when mom is the only parent. I think God makes allowances in those cases of need. But when mom is working so that the parents can afford nicer cars, homes, boats…, then that is a problem. Those things won’t help the kids feel loved more.
In case you are wondering, I am preaching to myself here. I have been guilty of spending too much time at work chasing the dollar and not enough hugging the kids. They turned out pretty good in spite of me though.
L,r
People often look at certain things and make judgements about a whole situation based on a few small facts. I think family stuff is like this. People say “oh, poor kid, his parents are divorced. His family must be so much worse off than Bobby’s over there that stayed together.”
I will say that, IF the parents are happy, clearly having them still be one unit is ideal. My husband’s parents are still together after almost 30 yrs of marriage (they came really close to divorce once, when hubby and I had recently started dating… thank god they got themselves turned back on the right track).
BUT just because there’s divorce doesn’t mean the family is doomed. My parents divorced when I was 11. My parents have always stayed amicable with each other. I could count on one hand the number of times I ever heard them fighting. My mom remarried when I was in high school.
We’ve had lots of change in our family environment. I joked recently with someone that we’ve taken a family portrait every year the past 3 yrs and every one looks different b/c of additions and deletions. However with all that we still have a very deep sense of what family is. I love my family, I feel appreciated by them, I am extremely appreciative of them.
I was a latchkey kid, whose mother worked full time and came home late. Did I ever feel unloved or unprovided for? NEVER. Just b/c parents can’t stay home with their kids doesn’t mean family life has to be sacrificed.
At the same time, people insist that it’s “not possible” for a family to make it by on a single income. That’s not true. You just have to make it possible. Quit buying expensive toys, and you’ll be amazed how much farther money can go.
I’ve babbled on and never really had a cohesive point… I think one of the first comments really sums up what I think about it– the family situation in this country isn’t any worse, IF you don’t allow it to be. It’s all up to the parents and all the members of the family.
Well, I am definitely not Ex-Dan, that’s for sure – and I do enjoy your posts.
I think with time, everything changes. For bettter or worse. Maybe back in the 50′s people were just better at hiding their issues, not so much just not having any issues. It’s hard to say……. but I think it hasn’t necessarily broken down…..it’s just changed with time.
i think so? mine is. i know lots of ppl whos got divorced parents.. but i think its better that way isnt it instead of them fighting all the time..peace and quiet is preferred
I would have to agree.
YES.
I think family has been broken silently in the past. Only now that we are able to break the silence to the public.
Status of the family broken? Yes it is broken due to constant attacks by special interest groups.
Fuck, yeah, it was great if you got to be the MAN of the family and rule all the rest with an iron fist. If you were a kid, you got to get the shit beaten out of you all the time, and if you were the little woman, you got to be that fucker’s slave. There was a shit load more child abuse and domestic abuse in those days than there is now–
I’m not saying today’s families are great shakes either (Mine certainly sucks), but at least we have a few laws PROTECTING people from maniacs–and a few things that people can do–like go to shelters and get divorces–when there is an asshole in charge.
I think families today are much more broken. Regardless of how much is shared now about families, the divorce rate is much higher, statistically proven, and families are much more busy and apart.
Yes, especailly with the prevalent working mother
Without a doubt. Familys seemed to be happier 50 years ago. Closer…..
Once again lead_mare shows her idiocy. What the fuck have special interests done to ANYBODY’s family?
GEE-BUS!!!! Lead_Mare, don’t be a hysterically paranoid Xtian fanatic with delusions of persecution.
The typical “family” has evolved from what it once was. Divorce is now acceptable and common, so it is easier for abused spouses to leave the relationship. However, divorce is not the only change that the idea of a typical family has gone through since the mid-century.
Now that single parents are (for the most part) accepted in society and also fairly common, a person who wishes to raise a child independently can do so. In some places (this is a subject in the issue that I’m not well-versed on, for some reason) same-sex couples can adopt children. In fact, same-sex couples can live more openly and freely than ever before (even though we still have a long way to go). Interracial couples are not uncommon, either.
Also, technology has advanced, making it possible to “do more in less time”. Think about it- it really wasn’t that far back when doing the laundry took an entire day. These days, unless you’re one of those major procrastinators that goes through every item of clothing they own before taking the time to do the laundry, you can do the chore in an evening, tops. It takes me three hours to do all the laundry I need, every two weeks. And that’s just the extra time afforded by one invention. The point is, what do we do with all the time that used to be spent simply surviving a couple hundred years ago? We have more time to do more, so now we have a high percentage of high school students who do extracurricular activities, have jobs, and still have plenty of free time (no matter how much they complain, unless they’re IB kids, and then they really do have it bad).
Going back to the laundry thing, now that one person can do the laundry in a few hours, instead it being a day and a family affair, the family doesn’t have to spend as much time together. We’re more independent at younger ages.
The point of all of this is that the family has changed, but not just because of divorce, and even if it were just because of divorce, it’s not such a bad thing. It can be bad, oh yes- but the divorce rate is around 50%. Divorce in of itself is not bad. What is bad is if the quality of family life goes down after the divorce. If you’re living in an abusive home, then divorce can dramatically improve your life, even if it breaks up the family. Divorce is a result of a problem that was already in the family. Before you could get divorced so easily, you would have just had to live with the problem, unfixable as it may be. Divorce isn’t the problem, it’s a solution (albeit often the wrong one). So if family life is bad, it’s not because of divorce, and the ability to get divorced isn’t making people suddenly say, “Hey! Let’s go get divorced and then go out for ice cream!”.
If family life is so bad, then it’s because of something else, which occasionally can be worsened by divorce, but often improved by it.
Once again, the Church doesn’t really seem to know what it’s talking about.
Then again, I’m 17… what do I know?
This break down of the family is silly. What people are hearing is that it’s the breakdown of the Upper Middle class Victorian era patterned family that’s breaking down. Yes, once upon a time one person could be the bread winner in the family. However, before that the family worked as a unity to bring in money. Lower class families have always had more than one person working. It is only in the Victorian romanticism that we start to have the idea that women must stay home and the husband goes to the bank for the day. Before that women earned money in the house by doing “women work” but it was still income none the less. Also, people are spazzing about the break down of the western family. It is a western idea that the family should be a biological mother, father, and children. All over the world in differenct cultures there are extended families and such things as “inherited families”. The family is in no danger.
Yes, but it depends on the family.
I think family dynamics aren’t what they used to be, but I also think people are not hiding or putting abuse anymore like they may have in the past to avoid being considered outcasts if they divorced. That’s a good thing. But I believe there is (in the U.S. especially) a downhill slide in society in general when it comes to children being taught to respect others and be considerate. This, along with a serious laziness, lack of self-discipline and self-control, I believe can be directly attributed to a meddling government that puts its fingers too far into private lives and frightens parents into doing nothing rather than risk losing their children to well intended but misguided child “welfare” … Kids are left basically to raise themselves, and when the inmates run the asylum, yes, it becomes a big dysfunctional mess.
In some ways, yes I think it is. I also think this can be relative, as my relationship with my family was about 1000 times better than my parents relationship was with their families when they were kids.
Maybe it’s what you make of your family, if your family is ‘broken down’, it may not necessarily be because of outside influences (though I will admit they make a difference…sometimes you let them) it’s more than likely something the family is or is not doing.
yes
It depends what culture you have. I’m Arabic, so drugs, sex, all that stuff is so foreign. Here its so accepted, anywhere else its unusual unless you lost a spouse, usually they remain single.
If you look at statistics its obvious. Yes.
Yes, but the situation is also far more advanced than it was fifty years ago. We can’t simply revert to our condition back then; instead, we must move ahead and find something new. At the time, we’re just stuck in a highly unstable middle ground.
Yes, but I know of a few families that “stuck together” that were just as screwed up…
No, things were just kept quieter in the 50′s.
Yes. How many families have two natural parents?
yes of course but I don’t necessarily a “break down” of the nuclear family is a bad thing. I’d say the nucler family has evolved. There are many healthy inviduals with divorced/widowed parents who were raised just fine. Whats important is they hold morals, ethics, and values similar to other family members which are considered important. Spending time with one another I do believe is important, however, divorce has nothing to do with family break down.
The traditional nuclear family? Emphatically.
Yes, think how close families were back then, now children are rarely ever home on the weekends starting at the age of 10.
Definitely. In a time of 2 family incomes, there are so many things that we miss with our children. Not near as many teach the values that we learned when we were younger.
yes
no.. because at the time, the things they had to do were just as trying to them.. the world evolves as do the people.. 50yrs from now our lives will seem easy going, just as 50yrs ago did..
also, some things are trying on a marriage.. time apart being a big reason.. but we survive, we live day to day, and we move on..
people were just as human back in 1956, they just kept more secrets.
Absolutely. Also- families are spread out far and wide and there used to be grandparents to help with the kids.
((( GRANDMA HUGS )))
Lori
It has broken down in america and some other countries, but there are still parts of the world with good family values.
One problem is that no one raises their children anymore. The allow TV, school, and other people to do it for them.
No. I don’t think the status of the family has broken up. People just don’t keep things to themselves anymore. You hear about all the things that used to be considered family secrets. It seems like family values have changed b/c talk about things more openly now.
The divorce rate has gone up in the last 50 years, but people are entering into marraige lightly now days. My brother is younger than me and he is divorved (I think they finally finalized it). Both of them are living completely different lives than they were when they got married in their early 20′s. I think they cared about each other, and they still keep in contact with each other, but they just weren’t ready to be married. I have had so many friends fall into the same trap. They get married, they grow up and then realize the person they married just isn’t the person they need to be with. It is unfortunate when children are involved, but if the parents are responsible adults, they can still raise them in a productive way. The parents have to remember that it isn’t about them when it comes to the kids.
Once again, people don’t want to make the sacrafices and compromise that it takes to make a marraige work.
Erika
Erika
yeah… greater divorce, families going 20 different directions and never spending time together (around the dinner table, for instance), same-sex partners w/kids from previous relationships…
Yes, it definately is and i’m afraid it’ll just keep getting worse
I beleive it has. In High School I was the only one of my friends that liked my parents, had sit down meals as a family, and atleast one night a week where the family was home together. If it hasn’t been breaking down it is sad how long we have let it go on this way.
Only difference in marriages now and 50 years ago, is that 50 years ago it was harder to get a divorce.. there were still families that had bad relations and parents that stepped out on their partners, they were more likely to live with the unhappiness, now with *drive-thru* divorces more unhappy couples opt to get one.. Which way is better or worse? Who knows… You can be from a severed family and still be brought up with values… It is up to the parent/s to make sure that whatever their relationship is, that their childrens life doesn’t suffer… I was from a divorced family with a dead beat dad… my husband was from a divorced family with a dead beat dad… only thing it showed us was that we wasn’t going to have that kind of family for our children!
well poopy is a good tastin treat
Most of my friends dad’s spend all their time at work. Many more families have both parents working. I think the answer is yes.
I think values change and that it is not necessarily a bad thing.
yes, absolutely
crazy1 86:hey baby!!!
h0tNsPiCy91: whos dis???
crazy1 86:ur secret admirer!!!!!
h0tNsPiCy91: o really…. quite lyin! whos dis???
crazy1 86:i loved u the first time a stared in your eyes…
crazy1 86:i think about u everyday… you are my dream come true.
crazy1 86: we met once! i dont think u remember tho.
crazy1 86: i cut myself because the pain takes away my feelings of u.
crazy1 86: tonight u will see me some time tonight….
h0tNsPiCy91: ..WHO IS THIS!?!?!?
crazy1 86:dont worry…. ill take very good care of you…
crazy1 86 had signed off.
the girl was so scared she locked alll her doors and windows. she made sure her room was secured. she was so scared if it was a joke or for real. she didnt know when he was going to come. the girl was frighten so she decided to sleep with her little sister. the girl dozed off quikly. then she heards a knock on the window. the girl slowly walked to the window. it started knocking louder. the girl looked through the windows and saw nothing. just some of the tree branches. the girl went back to bed with her sister. the bed was wet and a pretty smells horrid. maybe her sister wet the bed… the girl checked and found blood everywhere. the girl panick. she didnt know what to do. she ran and hid in the closet incase the guy was their for her. while looking through the cracks of the closet the girl saw a shadow. it was dark so she couldnt figure out who it was. she started to get more frighten. the man crept closer to the closet. the girl closed her eyes as if it was a dream. then suddenly he open the closet door and pulled her out. her parents found her dead. she was skinned all the way and was hunged in her sisters closet.
PART 2…
2 years after the the sisters deaths, the her parents got pregnant with a baby boy the girls room became a guest bedroom and the little sisters room where the murder took place became the babys room. the baby grew up to be a secessful kid. one night he was on the computer and got a instant messege.
h0tNsPiCy91:hey lil bro!!!
2seXay4u: who the f is this?
h0tNsPiCy91: its your big sis.
2seXay4u: i never had a sister. im an only child.
2seXay4u:this is some kinda joke huh?
h0tNsPiCy91: mom and dad never told you?
h0tNsPiCy91: i died 15 years ago with your other older sister.
h0tNsPiCy91:we were murdered in your room which was once my little sisters room. she was killed in bed when i was sleeping and i was killed in the closet and skinned to death.
2seXay4u:quite lying. i never had a sister. if i did my parents would tell me. whatever. your stupid.
h0tNsPiCy91: you dont believe me? well if you wanna look in your closet floor.
h0tNsPiCy91: i carved my name, time and date i was being murdered. then i
carved my little sister name.
h0tNsPiCy91: if you dont believe me little brother check the internet. type in ”smith sisters murdered anonymously”.
h0tNsPiCy91: i gtg little brother. i love you. and mom and dad soo much. i cant believe they kept us a secret from you. they should burn in hell.
the boy checked the closet. he saw the carvings. was it true? he surfed the internet and everything was their about the anonymous murder in the house. the next morning the boy went downstairs. it was so queit. maybe mom and dad was sleeping.. hours later the boy found his parents in their closets skinned and hung. then he found more carvings on the ground. it says ” I TOLD YOU I WASNT LYING. LITTLE BROTHER, I LOVED MOM AND DAD…. BUT THEY KEPT ME A SECRET. I CANT BELIVE IT. WELL IM FREE FROM THIS COLD WORLD. I WONT HURT YOU LIKE HOW THEY DIED. I LOVE YOU!
LISA SMITH ”
this is a death chain. if you dont send this in the next hour the parents will kill you at night. they will kill you like how they and the sisters were killed. good luck!!! >send this to 10 ppl in the next 5 mins………
>and……..
>u will get kissed on friday by da luv of ur life….
>DONT BREAK THE chain!
>ur crush will ask u out.
>2morow will b da best day of ur life.
>Howeva, if u dont send this 2 @ least 10 ppl
>by @ least 12:00 2nite u willhave bad luck in ur luv life 4 da rest of ur >life
Why do fools fall in love?
*Sarah*
The family in the Unted States or the world?
Ah, the “American” myth of the perfect nuclear family of the fifties, whose mothers were driven mad in their suberban island slavery, only to raise the children who called themselves flower children, friends to their kids. At least now we pay our babysitters and appreciate the time we have together. Divorce is high, but I bet human nature leaves infidelity rates the same.
In the developing world, the biggest change is the names of the groups that are at war, and how far the youth go to cities hoping for money, only to be exploited by the rich who bewail the breakdown of their families.
Hmmn.. the divorce rate was not as high fifty years ago because marriage was not entered into lightly and promises meant something to couples back then. On the otherhand, how many of those marriages were so unhappy that they should have ended up in divorce? I remember my grandparents fought constantly, but stayed together anyways and were very loving and supporting of thier huge family. Which is better, an unhappy marriage or unity in the family?