January 27, 2006
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Sleeping Together
I was watching the Today Show this morning for a few minutes and I caught a segment in which they were discussing couples sleeping together. They had two people discussing the issue of the healthiness of couples sleeping in separate beds. One person was saying that she thought that for some couples it would be better for them to sleep in separate beds.
She was coming from the perspective that some people struggle to sleep in the same bed with another person who may wake them up. There are those who move around a lot and will cause the other person to have less sleep. Another lady was concerned that the impact on the relationship can be lost intimacy.
Would sleeping in separate beds impact the intimacy in a relationship?
Comments (169)
Oh yeah!!!!….Must have hubby right next to me!!
Love, Candy
absolutely!
Wow!! I was FIRST!….*Does the I’m first dance*….Yay!!
Hi Dan!!!
Candy XO
i think in subtle ways it does. there is something about being physically together that bonds one to another, even in sleep.
It shouldn’t. But you would have to give an indication of your intentions before you both totter off to bed.
I once recommended to my S.O. that we should consider separate beds. He was insulted. He isn’t the one being kept up by my tossing and turning, however.
Since he got the wrong impression, I haven’t brought up the idea again….
i dont think so!
I dont think it would inpact on intimacy because you can simply hop into the other bed and snuggle up. However, I do think it shows that yall cant be ONE with another and something is suffering. If space is a problem, I suggest buy a King size bed. As you can see, I think couples, esp married ppl should sleep in the same bed. I dunnoooo… thats just how it supposed to be.
*impact, delete “on”,
Usually!
I have no idea… But I still wanted to comment..
I think it depends on the couple. I have a friend who snores so loud that I don’t understand how his wife can sleep next to him. It might make their marrage better if they slept apart.
I watched that segment as well. Yes, I think that it would impact a relationship. As they said, there are probably reasons they aren’t sleeping in the same bed other than snorring.
I think so, yes, there would be loss of intimacy. I know of several older couples that never slept in the same bed, sorta like an “I Love Lucy” bit, and they ended up being Spouse and Spouse rather than Husband and Wife.
hell yeah it would. you turn to hold onto your lover and grasp empty air.
Yes.
wow 16th comment!
Yes, it does, but not necessarily the strength of the marriage. My grandparents slept in separate beds for 40+ years because my grandpa had been paralyzed. My mom and stepdad sleep in separate beds now because he snores very loudly and it keeps her awake all night.
I think it doesn’t have to impact the intimacy of the relationship, only that it generally will.
I’m sure if you ask this question to your wife, she’ll give you a good answer.
i think there would be some intimacy lost, because of it. but separate beds doesn’t mean separate rooms, or even that they both HAVE to sleep separately all the time…
i guess
I really don’t know!
I think it does. When couples want to be in separate bed there is underlying unresolved issue. It may not be because the quality of sleep they want to achieve but the avoidance of intimacy. Great topic.
I don’t sleep well at night, but to me I feel better/calmed when my husband is sleeping next to me even if he isn’t helping the sleeping situation, which is more me than him (he sleeps well and only moves around when I am restless). To me, there is something intimate about sleeping together, and sleeping in seperate beds would impact the intimacy. It would seem to me “why am I married if I’m sleeping alone,” which would be more of a roomate situation.
I believe it depends on each couple’s situation. For me personally, I sleep much better snuggled in the arms of my husband.
lol no, it shouldnt. It would be easier than fighting over the blankets, but two beds shouldnt matter. Push them together if needed.
Possibly, not necessarily. And I’m so glad you’re back! And the layout is quite attractive as well…
For me, Yes it would. I think that cuddling, spooning, sharing the same bed and just being with that person is a most intimate thing.
i dont think anything’s wrong. if they can’t get a good night’s rest then they should sleep in separte beds haha.
have a great weekend!! =)
Yes…definately….wouldn’t it make the other person feel less important. Like they didn’t need to be close to their beloved?
I think it would. How else could you make a scuba leg sandwhich?
Happy Winter-een-mas Everybody!
It can, but it doesn’t have to… myself I love snuggling up to my bf but can see how it would be tiring to do so night after night, for the rest of your life. I think it depends on the couple – if they communicate well their reasons for sleeping apart, and the rest of their married life carries on like usual, then sleeping apart shouldn’t have a negative effect on the relationship.
yea there would be a bad impact on intimacy…..but i hate sleeping with people. its annoying..lol. plus boys smell funny. lmao.
lol. i have a lot to say on that one but wont write it all here..lol.
Hell yeah it does!
My hubby is a LOUD snorer. I mean LOUD! I could easily sleep in another room to avoid being woken up during the night, but I sleep with ear plugs instead.
I suppose it depends, but I’m not talking from personal experience.
ryc: now you’re back on the list. Welcome back!!!!!
yes it would
Absolutely not.
I have been married for almost 14 years and my husband and I rarely share a bed for many reasons of the course of our relationship.
In the beginning it was night shift, later on it was kids,recently it was due to caring for my terminally ill gram…ect..
Simply put it is not always easy to share a bed and not everyone in the world likes to feel suffocated when they sleep.
What ever works and makes you both happy.
Holding hands while we are out, cuddling on the couch, 3 minutes romps in the laundry room, rubbing my feet, massaging his back, brushing my hair..those are all ways to be intimate and it does not require a bed.
It’s hard to say really I guess it depends on the couple.
Some couples are better off sleeping in separate ROOMS. heh. My parents (father and stepmother) have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for about four years — mostly because my dad tosses and turns all night, keeping my stepmother awake, and my stepmother snores like a cave giant, keeping my dad awake. Needless to say their relationship has been slightly improved by separating their bedrooms, now that they’re both sleeping a little better.
As for me, even though my hubby also snores, I can’t go to sleep without nightly cuddles.
And by the way I love your layout.
Really depends on the couple, but for me? Ya’ I couldn’t have that.
Yeah it would. Good cuddles are very frequently the initiator of intimacy for my husband and I. There are a lot of times we might have just given in to being sleepy and not been intimate with each other if we hadn’t been snuggled up together. We only sleep in different beds if one of us is coughing all night or throwing up sick.
hell yes! I would never sleep in separate beds.
just to answer your question that is a obvious yes.
how can you be intimate when you are in seperate beds?
I sleep better alone but falling asleep can be harder. We have lost some intimacy in our relationship since sleeping seperately (we sleep opposite hours because of work schedules) but I feel better physically since I’m sleeping better than I ever did before. No more having to cover my head with pillows because of his snoring or having to listen to his alarm go off for the hour that he hits snooze while I’m trying to continue sleeping. That part is kinda nice… I think the intimacy can be refound-gained if we worked harder at it.
YES. I am guessing you arent married
I think that since lack of sleep affects a persons mood during the day.. Sleeping with someone who you can’t get to sleep next to would have more of an impact on intimacy as well as other aspects of a relationship not to mention the person who’s being deprived of sleeps health.
If my partner was keeping me awake at night I think I would cuddle with him until he fell asleep and then go somewhere else to sleep and hopefully he’d do the same if it were me keeping him up. Only has to be an issue if it’s made into one.
I think it would affect the intimacy. It seems kind of cold to not be next to your spouse in bed but a couple of feet away in a totally seperate bed. I think missiondriven has it right on the money when she said there is something about being together physically which bonds you together even in sleep. I agree totally.
yes! While I was pregnant for the last three or four months my husband slept on the couch so I could have the bed to myself because I was having such a hard time falling asleep. I slept better, but I feel so much better now that we are back in the same bed.
I would hate to be in a seperate bed.
Yes. It does. I sleep better with my husband touching me, even if he’s sick or moving alot… i’d rather him be there for me…
No, not at all. I wake up very easily and my husband works until 11:30 at night so I’m asleep by the time he gets home. He often sleeps in the guest room so he doesn’t wake me up, and our marriage is as strong as ever. We still make time for the “good stuff”, it’s just not always at conventional times.
Eh … too complicated … I’m never gettin’ married.
Good question, I suppose if sleeping in the same bed and holding each other or cuddling was an intimate act then stopping would have an impact on that intamacy, but if they were just sleeping and having no contact, then sleeping in seperate beds wouldn’t change anything except allowing for a more peaceful sleep (if they are having problems falling asleep from one another)
My husband snores so bad that I sleep on the couch sometimes. It is either that or I put a pillow over his face until he stops breathing. This isn’t a every night occurance, but sometimes you just have to leave the room. I’m sure he feels the same about me with I kick the ceiling fan on high because I’m burning up and he is freezing.
I don’t think I could handle sleeping in a different bed than my husband. The only time I have ever not shared a bed with him was the third week of our marriage. I was dreadfully sick with the flu for a week, and our bedroom was upstairs. I slept on the hide-a-bed couch for the week so I wouldn’t have to go up and down stairs to get to the bathroom if necissary, and to minimize the chances of him getting sick. It was a very lonely week. I can’t imagine having to do that every night of my married life.
Yep.
DAN!! I’m so glad to see you! I was wonderful to come home and be greeted by Dan posts!!!
And I think it could.
I am confused about this retirement/private thing. Then again I usually am confused, I just wish you you not add to my confusion!! Any way, are you retired from a real world job? If so, CONGRATULATIONS, and pretend I just sent you one of those real nice retirement cards!!!
And the private thing….will that be all your entries or just some?
I remember hearing from “older” couples that this was a good resolution to their sleeping problems and thinking,
“That will never happen with Thom and I!”
Well, add some hot flashes, two snorers and a person with chronic pain and restless leg syndrome and things change!
It has not affected intimacy for my husband and I. Especially since we are now empty nesters and are not confined to intimacy in the bedroom.
With my Fibromyalgia and both of us snoring, we finally sleep better in seperate beds.
A king size bed helps when we go away, but we don’t really want to buy a new bed now and the queen size doesn’t cut it.
((( GRANDMA HUGS )))
Lori
Heh just get a king size bed. Those things are so big that its almost like 2 beds anyway. Intimacy when you want, and good separation on the nights when you need it.
i don’t think it should , so long as they are in the same room and everything. i mean, you can always share for a while.
I snore sometimes. Hubby snores sometimes. Now he says I moan in my sleep. I’ve thought about this and I do not want seperate beds. I think it does cause lack of intimacy. There may be times I’ll have to go on the couch to get some sleep but I do not want that every night. I think it would cause problems in the marriage.
YES. I sleep better when I feel safe, and nothing makes me feel safer than a set of arms around me.
I think it would..but I’m not really too sure what I’ll do when I get married because I can’t sleep if there is anything that distracts me. So if the guy snores or is a blanket hog, we might have some issues. But I’d hope to get over it bc I don’t think I’d want to sleep in separate beds. My friend’s parents sleep in separate rooms bc they BOTH snore. I wouldn’t want that. My dad snores soo loudly but somehow my mom can sleep through it. I’ll have to learn how to do that.
definitely. they should just get one of those really cool mattresses… you know… in the commercials they always had bowling pins on them and then they’d drop the bowling ball on the otherside and the pins wouldn’t fall down… you know what i’m talking about right?! hahaha
Yeah I think it would really have a negative impact on the intimacy of a relationship. I cant imagine him sleeping in another bed and not waking up to him wrapping has arms around me. I think its worth a little less sleep.
My SO and I sleep in separate beds most of the time. why? Because his bed is too warm for me, he sleeps in the exact center of it, and he snores like a train. I don’t get any sleep when I sleep in there most of the time. Since sleeping is important to, you know, living, we’ve agreed that getting shut-eye in two different places is not a big deal.
I have no personal experience in this area.
My parents sometimes keep each other awake coughing/tossing/turning/fighting over blankets. They’re then grumpy in the morning. Sometimes this affects their relationship.
if the couple decides to sleep separately, on good terms, then it may even be a healthy thing. but if its for the wrong reasons (constant bickering, etc..) then it will probably make matters worse. ive seen it happen.
So glad you are back Dan! That was so surprising!
I think it would impact the intimacy of the relationship. I like knowing my big papa bear is in bed right next to me, especially when my feet are cold. He makes the greatest feet warmer-upper. I would miss him, if we opted for seperate beds.Besides there is something really great about waking up to him boinking my backside, looking for an an (any) entrance. Hee hee
The snoring is the one thing I could live with out. But He comes with snoring and it god didn’t give him an on off switch, so…. tell then he be in bed with me.
SO GLAD YOU’RE OUT OF RETIREMENT! I really missed ya!
definitly
I think it might actually improve intimacy with some couples, especially if it eliminates sleep-deprivation and the ensuing resentment.
Not a good one to type, since I’m not married, but I would think that it would. I think I would be lonely without my hubby next to me, lol. I do think it’s a good idea to have a fold-down cot or a spare bedroom if a spouse is sick and the other doesn’t want to get ill.
One would think so. Especially these days- People are so busy, and have insane scheduals. Anytime together should be used!
im a light sleeper, so that sounds like a good idea.
or get a big californian king sized!
or the tempurpedic.
It depends on the individual couple. But in my relationship with my husband I think that on occasion it would not harm intimacy, but if it was an every night routine it very well could decrease intimacy. But hey…we’ve only been married for 5 weeks. Ask a couple who has been there longer and thoughs will differ.
I’m not married….so I don’t know. But I have had other people in the same bed as me while sleeping (slumber parties, youth group trips ect.) and their presence does not bother me. So I don’t know why I would choose to sleep in seperate beds. Unless my husband PREFERED sleeping on the couch, in which case…..I guess we’d have to schedule sex, instead of just letting it happen.
I’m in the first relationship of my life where I have spent the night with the man I love. I’m a light sleeper, so I’ve always been concerned about sleeping with someone.
The first night I spent in his arms was amazing. I have never felt so close to anyone my whole life. We fit perfectly together and sleep soundly.
Of course it will impact the relationship! I’ve felt the change since the first night.
For some people, I guess maybe it would help. Kind of an absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder. For me, it would piss me off to not have Heather in bed with me. I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I’m going for a record – I want to beat my parent’s one. In 25 years the only nights they spent apart was when one of them was in the hospital. That sounds good to me!
well…it depends…
if you are those young peple, then yes it will kill your
relationship. young people always wants sex. always.
But old people(no offense) dont really care for sex anymore…
unless they just…..are….. o.k. but old people are not “into”
their relationships anymore…why? well they got old.and they’ve been with each other for like 20 years+
Well, mi wife and I had to sleep in seperate beds (mine was the couch
) during the last 5-6 months of her pregnancy.
1. She could not get anywhere near comfortable with me in the room.
2. In order for me to function at all during the day, I had to get to sleep, so the couch it was the couch for me. (I’m back in the bed now though!)
I think it would…
Ignore the ‘i’ in my it should have been ‘y’
I’d recommend a king size bed with those separate sleep zones. That way you they could still be together if desired, but should be able to sleep far enough away from each other when real sleep is needed.
And still wake up next to each other.
Yes and no. There was a time my dh slept on the couch because we had a new baby who wasn’t allowing us to sleep. That didn’t keep us away from each other, though. But, I like having him in bed with me. He’s my security.
it just all depends on the couple. Ricky and Lucy always slept in seperate beds.
(I Love Lucy)
YES.
Duh.
yes… it’s difficult to have ‘marital relations’ in a tiny twin bed, no? or at least i imagine it would… and as for the whole ‘waking your partner up’ thing, come ON. that is probably one of the lameist things i’ve ever heard. i actually laughed out loud when i read that. it’s not that bad, sleeping in a bed with a tosser/turner. and if it IS that bad, just get one of those crazy mattresses that you see on infomercials… or something… ?
no…i think it depends on how the couple views it. i would want to sleep next to my hunny, but that’s just me. my parents didn’t sleep in the same bed for awhile cuz they had different schedules and when my dad woke up for work at 4am, it would wake my mom up and she didn’t need to get up that early. plus my dad snores like a bear and that would wake my mom up, too. i don’t know how “intimate” they are (nor do i wanna know), but they’re still hella close – i don’t think it affected their relationship at all.
I don’t think so if the couple has a strong bond, Judi
Not necessarily. Perhaps one person tosses and turns all night and the other can’t sleep, which would be good reason to sleep in separate beds. The last three boyfriends I’ve had, though we’ve slept in the same bed, have slept under a different blanket than me because I radiate so much heat that they can’t stand it. It didn’t affect intimacy at all.
Yes, in my opinion, it can and does.
i think thats completely wrong-not wrong but sad. i cant imagine not sleeping with my fiance. i feel so safe. and thats so important to me. even if one of us made the other one have less sleep i think thats what love means. i think it would be horrible to sleep in seperate beds
i hope that randy and i still have the passion we have 50 years from now. ive noticed that many older couples dont sleep in the same bed. but maybe its not too bad if they stil lhave the same passion for the other and still love them unconditionally. and i guess as long as its a mutual thing its not too bad. but i think it does take away alot of intimacy though.
-shawna
hmmm…cant say from personal experience, but i know when i get married im only going to need one bed in the bedroom.
I’m going to be honest: being engaged and looking w/great anticipation to actually being able to sleep next to the woman I love…yeah, it would destroy me I think if she wanted to sleep in a different bed.
It all depends. If my husband were waking me up frequently in the night, I would become chronically tired and irritable. THAT would affect our intimacy considerably! We might be better off gettting a good night’s sleep on a regular basis. The effect of sleeping separately depends on how much physical contact we generally share. Do we make time to snuggle, to hug, to touch one another on a regular basis? If we already have a lot of physical contact and positive, shared, physical experiences, then sleeping separately would have much less impact on the relationship than it might otherwise.
I think so…
I might feel differently if I was sleeping with someone who took all the blankets and kept me up all night tossing and turning though.
I’ve heard stories of people who sleep in separate beds in which it helps the intimacy of the relationship – both people have different schedules, different sleep styles (i.e. temperature, sound in the room, like a fan, or whatever) and so they sleep in separate beds or even separate rooms. (I think I read this in Dear Abby or something…)
I think it depends on the couple and how sensitive they are when they’re trying to sleep. Sometimes, a little separation is the best thing you can do.
Yep. Some of the best conversations I’ve had with my hubby has been in the middle of the night in bed…
sometimes u just need your separate space. i would not be against it.
It really depends on the couple. Some might work better with a separate sleeping arrangment, peppered with times they are, um, found in the same bed.
But for the most part, it’s good to share a bed, in my opinion.
Actually, I have to say, no. I don’t think it creates less intimacy or anything. However, it tends to depend on how the couple feels about it. If the couple discusses it and agrees that neither person is able to sleep well with the other one, why not move into different beds? You’re married, where is the intimacy lost if you don’t sleep with each other? It’s not like you can’t have sex, but a physical human being is not needed by your side every single second of the day. Personally, I would want my space. However, that’s my peronsal opinion. If sleeping in the same bed works for couples, go for it! I just don’t think it impacts the intimacy of a relationship.
Yes because you do not get that suprise intimacy. that shocking but great suprise kiss in the middle of the night.
It might affect the spontaneity, & take a little more effort, but otherwise I don’t think it should have an adverse affect. The DH snores, & has RLS…. Drives Me Insane… I’ve thought about it…..
& Glad to See YOU Back!!!
It probably will impact the relationship, but a partner who is not able to sleep will severely affect the relationship as well. Again, each case is different. I myself am single and sleep alone anyhow, so whatever.
If you really despise your spouse, evidence proves that separate beds (and rooms for that matter) can be very helpful in deterring eminent divorce.
Also, there is less of a chance of your spouse strangling you in your sleep. Ouch!
Yes, I think so
Well, if my snuggle-bunny-boo wasn’t in bed with me… who would I snuggle-bunny with?
Hmmmm….I think it would depend on the kind of relationship you have.
Mark and I can do whatever–most of the time we do sleep together, but if the situation calls for it (like, he isn’t getting enough sleep for work…etc.) then he usually moves to the sofa.
~Caroline~
i like the idea of sleeping with my bf. its just like really comforting. i’m sure that in a married relationship that one might be offended if the other didn’t want to sleep in the same bed. theres just something to be said for falling asleep near someone you care for, and waking up the same way.
ok, the question has been completely twisted to mean “if you are heading for divorce” or “if one of them snores loudly, or moves around a lot”….jeeze, just answer the question for what it is….
and when answering this question, you really have to determine the definition of “intimacy”.
if you’re using this word to define the couple’s sex life, well….it could impact, but that doesn’t mean it would ruin it.
if “intimacy” is being used in reference to how close the couple feels — other than physically — than it shouldn’t….this is not to say that it wouldn’t affect things, but it depends on how the couple views the situation (like others have said). really, the two individuals involved in that context would have to sit down and have a talk and discuss it.
but, also, if you’re just married to someone for the sex….you’re married for the wrong reasons, and i doubt the relationship will last “til death do us part” unless there’s some strange plot going on behind the scenes…. additionally, if you’re not married to this person, you shouldn’t be living and/or sleeping with them anyway…. DUH!
How about two single beds that are pushed together, intimacy and separateness.
Bunk-beds?
dr.tony
I have no clue…I dread the day I have to share a bed though, even a really really really big one. I rarely get more then 3 hours of sleep a night and there is no way I wouldn’t wake up my husband with all my tossing and turning and whatnot. Hmmm. Poor guy.
-Hil
You’re gonna come back with THIS crap
MAYBE you should’ve stayed retired
For a married couple, yes, i feel that lots of intimacy is lost, because you and your partner are not sharing bedtime together. Even though there are other ways to catch up on lost time, you still need that sleep time together.
I hope that you dont block me. Sometimes I have strong feelings and need to express them. I enjoy comments with you.
Oh I get it. You were only doing like the whole “Maybe if I say I shut down I will get more comments” =( This stinks.
tragicbeauty hit the nail on the head.. my sis and her husband don’t sleep together.. he has sleep issues.. but she tells me the sex is awesome..
Ha. No one “retires” from their hobby. That’s the problem with this whole Xanga community. We call it “retiring.” It’s not a job, my man.
There are no brick walls up between them and truthfully, I never knew that my wife was there in the bed after I fell asleep when I was married – except when I would wake her up snoring.
No it shouldn’t affect intimacy.
L,r
She would punch me and make me turn over. Cruel wench!
L,r
It’s a really difficult change Ben and I are trying to make, to be apart more often. Most prominently this includes (for the most part) sleeping in separate beds…. Yes, so far I think it’s hurt our relationship but helped our selves.
I watched that segment as well. It’s weird because I am torn on this subject. I am a very loving person who likes to hug, kiss and be with someone. In that aspect, yes, I would think it would negatively impact my relationship with my significant other. On the other hand, I know that we have been on trips with my dad who snores loud enough to wake the children sleeping in China. It has been so bad that we’ve actually had to get a separate hotel room. If I had to sleep with someone like that I can see how sleeping separately would be the best thing. I’m not saying I would like it, but there just comes a point in time when a person has to get some rest. It’s nothing personal and I guess if the situation warrants it then it is a valid argument that hopefully as a couple you could work through and have it make a positive reflection in your relationship.
MJ
Perhaps it depends on the couple.
yes, My husband will aleways sleep by me unless he moves.
I got him used to the waterbed now! 17 years is hard to change
absolutely…i think it does!!hahaha..Wish you and your family have a GOOD weekend : )
I think it would affect intimacy if you sleep in seperate beds that are on the other end of the room but if they were right next to eachother than it might not.
I hate to admit it, but we rarely sleep together because of J’s health. He has constant twitching and monstrously loud snoring due to a neurological condition he has going, and it feels like someone put a quarter in the “magic fingers” box on the bed… And yes, he’s seeing doctors, and working on things, but you have to diagnose first before you can cure… We decided a couple of years ago when his condition was worsening, to set up in two rooms, because I was constantly sleep deprived, and he was too, because I kept waking him to turn over, which only stopped the noise and the twitching for a millisecond.
I think it’s actually benefitted our marriage at this point. We’re both better rested. And it’s only for sleep, you know!
Probably a little…I don’t really know though, I’m just a young teen!
I think it depends. we got a king size bed a few years ago and it hasn’t changed things much!
If I used the example of my sister and her husband I would say it has everything to do with the temperment of the people and the strength of the relationship outside of the bedroom. She and her husband have been married for over 8 years and it impacted their relationship once (that she/I/we know of) 4 years ago when he sought out intimacy through another woman (yes and affair) because he thought that her decision not to sleep with him was a sign that she was not in love/relationship with him anymore…not so…they didn’t figure that out until they started talking about the sleeping arrangement instead of just going along with it. My sister’s husband doesn’t shower every night and that grosses her out so she sleeps in a separate room.
I wouldn’t like to sleep without my husband. In fact, I sleep horribly without him. So, other than the occasional weird dream kick or whatever, we sleep fine together. Don’t know what I’d do if our sleep was terribly interrupted by each other. I’d have to kill him if he snored….
Married people who love each other should sleep in the same bed, unless the other person is deathly sick with a contagious disease or something. Having seperate beds just doesn’t sound right.
yes
Hey! Glad you are back! I am going to subscribe to you so that I can keep up on your entires a lot better!
As for the question…yes I think it would. I don’t live with my boyfriend but there is just something about sleeping next to them and waking up in the morning and seeing their face that is so incredible. I would never want to sleep in a separate bed! You can’t be as close in another bed.
Anyhue, hope you are doing well.
Sara
It doesn’t have to, but it might…
Depends on the couple.
No experience, no opinion.
Dan, will you go to my site and answer the question I have up? I am interested to hear your perspective.
there definatly would be if you wern’t careful to counteract the loss… but i think in some cases, it might be healthier… just so long as you’re aware of the risks…
yess
It depends on the couple’s intimacy and relationship quality otherwise. Some people just can’t share a bed.
- – > Ariana
The only way I would ever consider sleeping in a separate bed from my husband is if he snored really badly and I seriously couldn’t sleep (which unfortunately his dad does, I hope it’s not something that starts in later life).
I think our relationship would still be ok if we slept in separate beds, but I would definitely miss it! I love falling asleep with him and then waking up together in the morning… There would definitely have to be a very good reason for having to sleep separately.
Not to mention that then we’d be competing as to who got to sleep with the cats.
Currently they sleep on both of us (at the same time– a great feat they have accomplished).
its like roomates in a dorm
not a family
Yes. I would be bored and I would miss my husband.
Erika
My husband and I have been married for 26 years. The last 5 years we have had separate beds. Because we both need a good nights sleep. He snores so loud it keeps me awake all night. And I would poke him to wake him up… He became irritable. I would wake up the next morning with bloodshot eyes and grouchy. And I am a night owl and creep into bed late at night…he rises early. So, in order to save our marriage…we have separate beds. Even if we started out sleeping in the same bed. Before the night is over one of us would get up.
We have this saying. You can have sex or make love anywhere…but a good nights rest is a good nights rest.
I think that it depends on the relationship, as well as the needs of the individuals in the marriage. There is more to intimacy that sleeping together. Perhaps if they sleep better in seperate beds they will feel better when they are awake and be less grumpy? My wife and I have had it both ways: we slept in seperate “beds” for a while. We also have been in beds so small we were pretty much touching each other all night. Real intimacy is what happens when you are awake!
I would kill to have my own bed. I never get a good night’s sleep because I’m a light sleeper and my husband sleeps like a rock. Any snoring, moving, elbow in face…wakes me up. Plus I don’t like to be near anyone when I’m sleeping it just makes me uncomfortable. My husband said no to that idea, but that’s easy for him to say because he can fall asleep in 2 seconds and it takes me at least half an hour….
HERE IS THE WHOLE ARGUMENTS ANSWER:
IF YOU HAVE THE RING, DO YOUR THING, IF THE RING IS WHAT YOU LACK, PUT IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my friend’s parents have different rooms and they can’t keep their hands off of each other
If I was in a relationship, I would love my own bed. It doesn’t mean there won’t be ‘visiting’!! I saw the show too, can you believe Rick Moranis singing a country-western song?!
Well condsidering my wife and I sleep apart for about 9 months out of the year and are still very intimate even after 10 years of being together. 9 more days baby and I will be home for at least 4 weeks.
No idea. But i know that i wouldnt give my spot anywhere that’s next to my hunni
It makes me feel more close to him.
If one or both of the people in the relationship are at all paranoid about the relationship, then, yes, sleeping separately could make them suspect that their partner does not WANT to be near to them. In any case, I would suggest a king sized bed with one of those memory foam mattress…lots of room to roll around and the mattress doesn’t bounce. If it is a matter of sound (snoring), see a doctor.
i would say 1 bed
I definately agree with the Idea of just getting a bigger bed if there is a tossing and turning problem. As for snoring, well that doesnt realy bother me. I used to spend six months at a time sleeping in a compartment on a ship with a whole bunch of other guys (no, not in the same bed pervs!) who were all snoring, and there were steam catapults fireing, jet engins, and aircraft taking off and landing, only a couple of decks above our heads. If I was able to learn to sleep through that, I don’t think there is any legitimate reason I could realy find that would justify sleeping in a seperate bed from my significant other, if I had one at the moment.
Not necessarily
yes definetly
Totally would impact the intimacy….WHEN would you cuddle?? Who holds you when you have a nightscare? WHO warms your toes and feet??!!! These are serious intimacy issues that could not be addressed if you’re sleeping in seperate beds…I won’t even go on about the impromptu sex….’til the next
y-e-s
my inlaws have been married for ..52 yrs…
the last …20 or so…they have had twinnies…
and there are no 2 other people who are so attached to each other…
for them it works…
he visits…
i like to be..close to the one i love…
RYC – I think it’s alot easier to appear to be extroverted on xanga than in real life. In real life, I can be rather friendly, sometimes funny, and usually a good listener because I don’t talk alot. I’m glad I appear extroverted, at least to you.
I honestly think it would
Having a heart beating next to yours
Is the very definition of intimacy
i think it would
My husband snores so bad sometimes I get in bed with one of the kids when he’s really going to town. I wouldn’t want to sleep in seperate beds though. I like being spooned and a half asleep quickie now and then!
i would prefer my husband to be intinate when we are awake and can enjoy it! plus, at 6ft 6in tall, even a queen size bed is like a twin to him (and a king size won’t fit in our apartment)… we have no room for another bed, so we share, but there are nights when he is angry because i radiate heat and make him to warm, and i am angry because he has (literally) pushed me out of bed in his sleep… but even after i typed this, i realize i am not sure i would be happy sleeping alone… so, maybe we should get a bigger apartment so we can get a bigger bed…