January 30, 2006
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Moving Out Age
My parents made it pretty clear to us that when we were graduated from high school that they expected us to go out and get jobs and leave home. I think they felt that when we were adults, it was time to leave. My little brother stayed the longest. He moved out at around 23 years old.
I know of a guy who is living at home and he is about 40 years old. He is a nice guy who has never married. He has never left home. He has a job where he doesn’t make very much money. He doesn’t act as if he plans to move out any time soon.
At what age is it time for a parent to tell their son or daughter to move out?
Comments (169)
21
Hmm, first twice in a row. That’s surprising.
When they have enough money to move out after the age of 18.
After they graduate from college I would expect them to get a job and move on out!
i think that it should be acceptable for kids to live with their parents until they have gotten all of the education they need to start a career.
for asians, our parents NEVER want us to move out. basically it’s – move out when you get married (unless you’re moving for a job or school).
considering my family is your typical traditional asian family, they don’t think it’s appropriate for a child to move out until they are married. i’d probably put up more of a fight if i really wanted to move out but i’m too comfortable right now.
When they are capable of supporting themselves. But there are so many factors that are involved in that… I don’t think I would ever just say, “You reached this age get out of my house.” I think if your child needs help, no matter what their age is, and you are in a position to help, you should. Sometimes that means letting them move back in and sometimes it means kicking them out.
when they have enough money or education to move out on their own
I would have to say after I graduate from college, I can’t stand living at home for more than the summer anyways.
Have a wonderful day
Michael
I lived at home until my early 20′s, I still have a key the my parents house. I still raid the frig/freezer and pretty much come and go as I please. To me that is still home, I’ve been told that if I need to get away I can always come back home.
Kids today seem to be in a hurry to grow up and move out, they don’t realize what it takes to live on your own. They need to get the college education and a job before that happens.
Probably after they graduate from college and can have the finances to support living on their own..
I think when they are married, then it’s time. If they never get married, then whenever they are able to support themselves on their own. Which might not ever happen in this economy. People really need two incomes to stay afloat these days.
well i think whenever the son or daughter feel they are capable of movie out, they should do so. i doubt in a lot of families the parent would tell them to move out but if it got as bad as into their 40′s, i would say the parent would then gove some encouraging advice saying things like, “When are you going to do thing with your life?” That way the person will start thinking about the fact that they can’t mooch off their parents forever because really that is what he/she is doing, taking advantage. i think when the son or daughter knows what they want for their future they should plan it out and make it on their own.
wow, i kind of got into that. sorry.
id say 25 at the latest…
50 lol. No really it just depends on the situation. There is no right age.
Hello dear Dan!!
My kids can stay as long as they want….we get along great….
When they leave is up to them.
Love, Candy
Very early 20′s is o.k. . .especially if there’s not $ to live away at school (as there may not be for my FIVE). But by early 20′s, it’s time to graduate and move on.
i would agree with 25, but i hope to be out before then
It totally depends. Some people still live with their parents because they lack responsibility, in which case being urged to get a real job and move out is appropriate. And anyone who is married should be financially independent of either spouse’s parents. But if you are single and happily living at home because that is the living arrangement that you prefer and you parents don’t mind, then live at home! You shouldn’t HAVE to move out of your parents’ home just because you’re 40 years old. If that’s what your family is happy with, then matters of conforming to society should not get in the way of that.
That way the person will start thinking about the fact that they can’t mooch off their parents forever because really that is what he/she is doing, taking advantage.
I disagree with this statement. I am 26 and still live with my dad, purely out of choice, not necessity. It is just the two of us and we’re very happy where we are right now. I think it depends on the situation. I will never leave my dad totally alone and he won’t do it to me either. We have both lived alone and hate it, so we choose to live together to keep each other company. We’re best friends as well as father and daughter.
I moved out at 18, I have been out of the house for about 7 months now. But I am really staying with a cousin of mine. So technically I am not out on my own. My parents always told us (us meaning my 2 brothers 2 sisters and myself) that I was welcome to live with them for however long we wanted. But we aren’t allowed to be bums and do nothing. As long as we are trying to make a life for ourselves. And at anytime we are allowed to go back home. My parents are crazy like that
If you are welcome and enjoy and respect living at your parents I think you can stay for however long, but that is just my family! 
40 years old, with an unsuitable job, and no motivation to be the best you know you can be…HHHmmm That is a little on the iffy side!
My parents have already told me that they don’t want me to move out until I’m married.
Sounds like my uncle — I think each person is a special case. But if you go to college in another town, that really is the time you move out. At least that was the way it worked for me. I had a room at home all through college, but it was a place to crash on breaks.
It is changing. Economics has more and more to do it…
Well…I’m 23…and I still live at home…but only on the weekends…it works for us, cause when I’m home I help out with stuff…and I will probably live there while I am interning until december…then I will move out. I think that decision is completely up to the parents–as long as the children are being responsible and helping out and obeying the rules. That’s just my opinion.
early 20′s is ok as long as they are working and contributing to the household.
The men that I know who are in their 40′s and 50′s still living with mom scare me.
Cut the cords mommies.
Of course no two living situations are the same so my opinion is a generalization.
I think if they are in college they can stay until they’re done. After that they better at least be looking for a job. I’d be helping and encouraging the process of being independent of course. I think there are times though where an entry level position would lead to more pay but isn’t enough to live on at first, in that case of course I’d let them stay longer. As long as there was a desire and a plan for them to move out I’d be ok. But 40 years old and still at home with no intention of leaving? THAT I’d have a hard time with.
It would depend on the situation. I’d think by 22 or 23, after they’d graduated college. And even then, I think if they’re still living at home after 18, they should be contributing somehow to the household with rent, work around the house, etc.. No free-loaders!
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i think it really depends on the child. the maturity levels these days are very different. i moved out when i was 17. but i had to grow upo fast and i had alot of major life changing experiences. but i know someone whos 18 but bc of being sheltered and NO life experiences-she has a mind of a 13 yr old. so i would be scared to see her living on her own.
-shawna
I think that at 18 every young adult should make an honest attempt to either a) get a job and move out or b) go to college. If they fail at getting a stable job, then perhaps they could stay at home for another year BUT THEY MUST BE ACTIVELY SEEKING A JOB! If they choose college, great, once they graduate they should start looking for a job. If they can’t get a job right out of college (which is understandable) then moving back home is permissable for maybe a few months.
Personally, I’d rather live on the streets then live as a free loader off my wonderful parents!
WOW! 40 huh? Yea, that’s a bit too long… I’d say in the early 20′s…
My mom and dad always joked that on my graduation day, my gift from them was going to be from Rand McNally and Samsonite! However, they didn’t make good on that. They just joked about it. I moved out when I was 21, two months before I got married. But on our honeymoon, my mom and dad knocked out the walls of my bedroom and made their living room bigger. No going back!
In Chinese (Asian??) culture, never. The better question is, “When are you going to take over the bills?”
grow up. get a job. move out. stop mooching.
hummm i think it differs from family to family
my parents would never ask me to leave. just as when i get my own place i wouldnt accept anything else than for them to come stay with me. have to look out for each other.
Depends if they want grand babies our not. It’s important for the child to be able to get established on their own, but parents are to often unwilling to throw their adult children out. If the adult child has a job and blows all of his/her money on video games, then charge rent…my grandparents charged my uncle rent and then when he moved out they gave him back the money.
I do think that 18/19 might be to young for most children to move out on their own.
Hmm. I plan for my daughter to be out and in college at 18. As long as she is in college, she will technically still have a room and be welcome whenever she wants to come home (she’s already said she will live at the college no matter how close it is to us….) But when she graduates college, she should have her own permanent place. Being 30 and still at home with mommy and daddy, getting your laundry done and your food cooked for you is wrong. My brother in law did that and I lost alot of respect for him, because he had the means to get out. He was just lazy. Now he lives next door to them. I’m sure my mother in law still does his laundry and probably goes over and cleans his house.
after college … maybe a slight grace period to get a job, but they gotta go.
By the way…I’m SO glad you are back. You’re questions and thoughts give me these small breaks throughout the day and its very much appreciated.
oh, by the way, LOVE the new site look dan.
No comment. Heh.
No, I think a few years after they graduate, it is time. I just graduated, I still have time, right?! Believe me, its not because I don’t WANT to move out. More and more of my friends though are still at home so they can save up money and move out eventually. None of us really want to though, we do it more for our own survival than anything else.
It depends on the culture. In the Asian culture, you are expected to live with your parents, even when you are married. The American culture used to be like this also back in the 1800s, a.k.a. extended family.
Depends on the person TC… depends on economics like Leonidas said and other things. However I’ve noticed that women I’ve dated always complained about other guys who lived at home who were 20-30. They didn’t want anyone who lived at home.. considered it creepy. While that’s the most popular answer among the women I’ve dated.. I guess when its time.. its very much time.
Wow. Good question. Our 20 yr old’s clearly not ready, but I’m checking Ohio’s emancipation laws for our soon-to-be 17 year old. He needs to move out while he still knows everything. (As long as the med-school grades are passing, is okay with me. Med school. I wish.)
honestly im not too sure because i got kiked out of my house at the age of 18 but that was because i was a billy bad ass and really had no respect for anything… i think i may have taken the teenage rebellion thing a lil too far… my lil brother on the other hand is still kinda living at home but is away at college… he still has a place to go during break… he will be 21 in june…
now i must say getting kiked out at 18 as horrible as i thought it was in hind sight it was the best thing for me… it made me move my ass and do things that i needed to do in order to survive….
now i am living with my wonderful fiancee and working… something i would have never done if i never had the “opportunity” to get kicked out…
so in conclusion i think it all depends on behavior and economics…. but i could be wrong
after college age
when they can afford to after 18. but definitly before 25.
I’m not so sure anymore.. at least Asian kids never ever seem to want to move out..lolz. =D
I’d say that 21 is a “must out” age, but it depends
greatly on how they were raised.
I slept at home occasionally from the age of 16 on,
and moved out of State at 17.. I was workinf 70 hour
weeks though and instructing for around 15 hours a week
at that time.
you would never tell a child to move out, so if your thinking about it,
don’t try. Child abuse is illegal. So stop. But if it had to be done, then i’d say any age cuz
i feel like saying that
after college when they can afford it
Wow, I wish my parents were more like yours. I can’t wait to get out.
I think 19-20 is a good age. =)
this depends on the child.. but if they aren’t married/finished school..etc, by 25.. then it’s time to go!
If he hasn’t at least tried it on his own by age 25, then he probably should be kicked out of the nest. If a daughter, then let it go to 30.
Now ask if adult children should be allowed to move back in.
L,r
I think the answer is not an age, but rather an assessment of capacity. If the adult son or daughter has the capacity to live on his or her own, then the parents should make them leave.
Too much parental help can foster a counter-productive dependence that actually prevents a son or daughter from maturing. In a way, its like childbirth. Those contractions happen because there’s no way the baby would ever voluntarily leave the womb otherwise.
When they are fully able.
as soon as they can be self sufficient. welcome back.
Hmmm…toughie. I think there should be JOINT discussions/agreements amonst both parties before someone is KICKED out of the house…
But a mature kid would move out for college or (if it is local) after college…depending on other variables…
a year after highschool graduation/college graduation.
depends on culture. more american parents kick their kids out at 18, but in other cultures, kids can stay with the family until they get married. i haven’t lived at home for about 8 years, but i’m about to move back in a few months to save me money till i’m financially stable enough to have my own place.
I agree with the idea of graduation time is time to leave, but I would likely allow six months to a year for them to get settled into a job and a place of their own, especially if it’s a girl. Of course, their behavior would have much to do with it.
On the other hand, my sister has had her son stay at home, even with girlfriend and child, but that, I believe, has more to do with her need to be in control of others’ lives than with him. Sometimes it’s the child who has to say, “I’m outa here,” when the parent won’t let go.
it depends on the situation
I think parents shouldhelp their children to become financially and morally independent as best as circumstances allow. If there were an arrangement btwn them for home, fine, no problem. But comes the circumstance, destiny…… they should be preparing for the day this is no longer possible. Proper prior planning …. etc.
23 or 24.
P.S. 18+, depending…….
If you ask my parents (typical mexican parents), until you get married. I moved when I was 18 to go to college I haven’t return to live at home. My other siblings have move out, move in , move out and move in with my parents. My dad still asks when I’m planning to move back in.
well for some parents it might be different because my mom should be glad my sister lives with us because she cooks, and buys groceries, and takes me places my mom wouldn’t really want to. but if they’re a lazy bum, kick ‘em out
22 at the very latest, but 18 is a great age to send your child to college and let them fly.
whenever they feel like it.
I plan to have Bob live with me forever.
Actually, I think it is definately the parent’s choice. I moved out when I was 18, but I didn’t go to college. When Kevin and I separated, I was 25 and I moved back in with my dad for a few months. My brother went to college and he lived with my dad and stayed at friends’ houses until he was 23. He just recently got his own place. I figure since he was working and was buying his own food, who cares?
20-21
It depends on the relationship and motivation for staying home. My aunt wanted her kids to stay (and they did till in their 30′s). A friend of mine’s daughter is 16 and she doesn’t want her to move out til she is married. I needed to move out at 18 (even though my mom would have wanted me to live there for a long time). I also think it depends on if there is healthy boundaries, independence, etc. (if they stay at home).
When your financialy stable.
I’d say 21. Give them enough time to save money, focus on college, and get everything prepared.
I don’t think we can always go by an actual age…. I think once a child has graduated from high school (or college, if he/she goes) and has a good job, it is time to move out.
Sometimes we need to give a gentle shove, but it is usually for the best.
Look at most Europeans. It is expected that they stay at home…not mooching, just living interdependently. Who at 18 is capable of making wise choices? Since when did it become wrong for related adults to live in the same house? I don’t see that it has contributed greatly to the maturing of Americans. Rather, America seems stuck in adolescence.
Well if I go to college then I guess I am acually going to move out after that. If I don’t I have to move out completely.
Amanda
A son or daughter should always be welcome unconditionally in their parents home.
if nothing else plays into it- no special situations like medical things or something, 21-23.
I don’t think I could ever live with my parents past 23. It would just be wierd.
Ummmm I left home at 19 and I love my parents but cannot live with them!
As far as what the right “age” is to tell your spawn to leave the “nest” –well I don’t have kids but isn’t that one of the risks you take having a child in the first place?
There are semi retarded people that never leave, there are the cling-ons that never want to leave, even worse there are some that go and bring back people to live in their parents homes (wives, husbands…and then have the nerve to have their own kids!!)
Unreal.
It depends on the circumstances obviously, of the parents, of the child, of the economics, their relationship, etc
But I’d say that after they graduate college would be the usual answer.
I think when they can afford the rent and…um…when they are grown up?!?!?!
I think that would be case by case. I stayed at home until I was 24. Two of my brothers moved out at 18. The other one was 25. As for the 40 year old, that would depend too. Is he mooching off his parents or helping them out? If it’s a greater help to them to have him stay there and doing running around for them and such (if they are in poor health), then maybe it’s best he stay there. But if he is bleeding their saving’s accounts dry, or just doesn’t feel like learning responsiblity, then that’s a different story.
Unless they are contributing to paying the bills, they are out as soon as they are old enough to support themselves. That was our rule at home. It worked. It may have worked a bit too well. I was out by age 17 (in college) and my brothers were out at the same age. (They just did not want to follow house rules, so they high-tailed it.) I now have a daughter, and she is welcome to stay, as long as she understands that when she is an adult and no longer pursuing an education, that she must contribute to the bills. Rent, baby. It sounds heartless, but you stay, you pay.
er.. i dunno.
like prolly 20ish?
like i say, i really dunno.
i’m ready to get out of the house now and i’m only 15.
–paige
I want my baby to live with me forever, I’m dreading empty nest syndrome!!! Granted when she gets more into a rebellious teen age, I might be changing my mind. Then I’d say 18, or when she’s graduated from college depending on where she attends college, & if it’s close enough for her to live at home…..
they should be preparing in college (if they go to college) to stand on their own financially. not to say that parents shouldnt help children at ALL once they are out, but to some extent by the parents allowing the children to stay in the house it puts an economic handicap on the child, and on themselves.
Probably after they have graduated college, started working, and have saved up enough money. I am not just going to throw them out the door once they graduate college. My parents feel the same way– they aren’t saying I have to leave when I graduate in May. They said I definitely have to move out when I get married, haha. Duh mom and dad!!
Once a kid is finished with college, I would expect a concrete plan to be developed for when they intend to move out. For kids opting out of college, I would think it would be reasonable to expect them to move out within a year of their last year of school.
if i had to pick an age, then 20 sounds good… though i guess circumstances dictates it all… some do move back later cause of insufficient funds… so… i dunno…
It depends on the person, but my rule will be if you’re not in school (college counts), you pay rent.
As soon as they are able to
After highschool. If there is financial needs then durring collage i think its fine to sta at home but other than that you need to move out. My uncle is 53 and lives with my grandmother. He works a low paying job that has no flexibility, and spends his free time at home reading books.
21ish
16.
oh and i’m glad to see you’re enjoying your retirement
Early 20s…
I’m staying until I can support myself, which I’m sure I could do it if I needed to right now, but my parents enjoy having me as a tax writeoff =) *just kidding, but they do tease me about that*… I moved out, and then came back because of the $$ situation, due to schooling. They’re paying for it, so why not live with them, and help them out with chores around the house?
*A*
Once they have graduated colleges and have a career. I don’t see much sense in attending college for 4 years on your own to then go back home. During college should be when you make the transition out of home and then into your own place.
I think after they get accepted to a college that is more than 1 hours drive from their house, or after they complete a couple years of community college and are going to get a job or certification elsewhere. I wish my brother would read this.
Unless you’re caring for your aged parents, I think the answer is “way before 40.”
Individual circumstances vary, of course. As long as everyone’s happy with the situation and the adult child is a fully contributing member of the household, I suppose it’s not for the rest of us to judge. But if you’re an adult, it’s reasonable to expect that you’ll go out and establish your own household.
Whenever they are tierd of them living there.
fall after high school graduation. they should go to some sort of school….if u didnt graduate high school, then ur lame adn should be made to move out when ur 18…
my kids are gonna hate me..lol
For my high school graduation, my parents graduation gift to me was a set of luggage.
Let’s just say, that was a good time to plan for a removal from the parental care.
When they are married or when they are about 25… after that it’s time to leave.
Ace is out at 18 (after high school graduation) if she chooses not to go to college. But that’s her. Some “kids” need longer. Better to raise your children to be independant so that they want to leave home. 40 is a bit extreme. I’d be embarassed to live at home at 40. Maybe.
My husband says 18 or older when they have a job etc.– I say stay until you marry or are well off.
i’m 18, & i’m only like half out. i have a dorm & i buy stuff for myself, but i spend the weekend with the rents & they pay my phone bill & insurance. in my family, it’s a gradual thing. after high school you start venturing out, but there’s never a defenite kick-out. it’s just when it feels right you just don’t go back.
When they graduate from college and get a job or get married.
I certainly wouldn’t kick my child out without any means of taking care of themselves, but I am not going to enable mediocrity either.
Erika
under usual circumstances, within one year of them completing any of there pre “real” job higher education.
It depends on the family, but ideally around 22-24 I’d say. I, on the other hand, never had a chance to mooch off of my parents, in fact, it was just the opposite! My dad passed away when I was 11 years old and my mom has severe mental disabilities. I had to work odd jobs for cash from 11-16 when I could finally get legal employment. The small SS check from my dad’s death just wasn’t enough, and now I am helping to support my mother and I am 22! So, yeah Forty is a little old for that nonsense.
I will be 21 when I move out. I did “move out” for college but graduated and got a job back home. I now have purchased a home and am waiting for my magical wedding day until I move in (we are doing some reconstruction right now)
I would say whenever the parent and child think it’s appropriate.
But my personal opinion would be between teh ages of 18 and 21, also depending on your whole work/college situation.
If you’re out of school, and you have a decent job – I’d allow you to save some money for a decent downstroke. Then, you’re out.
I’d say 21, unless the kid is living at home while in college.
I think it depends. I lived with my parents until I got married at 22. From the time I graduated high school, my parents had me pay rent (I was not in college). I paid my own expenses and paid them for utilities, etc. I didn’t mind because I understood they were teaching me responsibility within the safety of their home. I respect my parents for not kicking me out. I think it would’ve made me feel unloved. I think that if I wasn’t going anywhere with my life, then tough love should happen…I’m not sure what age…it depends.
On the other hand, I can’t imagine WANTING to live with them too long. I was eager to get married and on my own. Now my sil stills lives at home and she is 23. She thinks it’s shocking that anyone thinks she should move out! I was married for a year at her age. She’s completely dependent on her mom and needs to be kicked out…but she won’t be…’cause her mom has this weird need to be needed in a sick way.
26?
Under normal conditions I’d say after schooling is complete (whether it’s High School, College, etc.) Technically, my brother and I both “lived” at our Mom’s until after college (neither of us actually lived there after starting college, we only claimed it as our residence do to the fact we both knew we’d be moving frequently during that time period). But there are situations where a kid may stay with their parents longer. For example I worked with a guy in his 40s who still lived at home, because his Mom had health issues so he remained at home to help with her. He still has a full time career and all, and I think technically now they live with him, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, unless there are circumstances I say after they are finished with their schooling.
it’s interesting reading all the comments and i noticed that some folks talk about asian culture and the extended family. i think the fact that some american families push their kids to move by a certain age, like 18, reflects cultural differences in that more interdependent cultures (like asians) maintain that interdependency by encouraging children to live at home until like, marriage, let’s say. whereas, more independent cultures, like american culture, encourage that independency by saying, “get out at 18.”
and i don’t see anything wrong with staying at home as long as it’s a healthy, nurturing environment that promotes growth. i don’t think it always “fosters counter-productive dependency” or whatever; that’s more on the parents rather than whether or not the children stay home past a certain age.
Holy crap… 40?
whenever they’re legal lol
I am getting married this next summer, and graduating from college by the next. Our plans at that time are to move into the apartment/garage adjoining my Mother’s house. She is currently struggling with the payments on her own, and has offered to put our names on the title if we split the payments. My mother has been very supportive of me over the years, and I am more than happy to help her out in this way. That being said, she did kick me out of the house when I was 18. We had a big fight over a stupid thing (laundry). Obviously since then we have made up and settled our differences. But over the years, I have come to learn that for some people 18 is the time to cut the apron strings (as in my case), but for others, staying longer would be acceptable as well. I guess it’s something that each parent must decide child by child, based on their particular needs at the time.
My parents have been trying to get the last one out for years now and she’s 23, so Im guessing their breaking point was 21 or so. I was 17 when I moved out so I don’t know what it’s like to stay until you’re ready to go. For my daughter I’ll allow her to stay as long as she needs to, hopefully until she’s done with college and is ready to venture out into the world financially and as long as she’s willing to deal with my rules and we all get along.
Whichever comes first:
A)When they go to college
B)When they get married
C)When they get a full-time job
at least 20.
My children are welcome to live at home as long as they want. There are some conditions though. They must have a full-time job and help with the upkeep of the house; both financially and by helping out. Also, they must still abid by the house rules such as no smoking in the house and no drugs.
Having said that, I don’t expect that my children will really want to stay home longer than they have to. My son just started college and already is distancing himself from us. He only calls us to return calls we make.
that is a very subjective question. i have 2 boys, ages 7 and 11. if we always get along as well as we do now, they could stay forever! i love being with them. i love having them in my life. every day.
i have an uncle who LOVES being the head of his large family. he and my aunt only had 3 kids, but they all still live with them. …and now their kids’ spouses and children! and his mother AND mother-in-law live with him. over the years they’ve moved into larger and larger homes to accommodate all the family members. having the little ones around the house has kept my grandmother younger than her 90 years. and there’s always SOMEONE at home to keep an eye on the kids and the grannies. i think it’s a wonderful, fun place. i could see myself living that way in the future.
22
Hmm.
My parents have told me that when I can support myself, I’m out of here.
I’ll probably get my own place at some point while I’m in college.
If my child is in school (college) they can stay in my home as long as they are getting good grades and contributing to helping around the house. If they wish to leave, any time after 18 is fine but I won’t support them.(But will pay for college)
i’m 20, but i go live at home and go to school so technically according to the school i can’t move out yet. 25 i think is really the outside limit. not to offend, but if you haven’t moved out by 25 you must be a loser. unless you are like southernbybirth and are staying with a single parent. so it does depend somewhat on the situation.
Does it really matter, is it anyone’s business when one person moves out from their parents home?
We focus on these stupid, trivial things. Situations we have no power over, when we should turn our heads towards what is really important. There’s no reason to get worked up over any of this, or even to discuss it.
20…unless of course they are going to school and living at home. after any amount of school they should be given two courtesy years (so if they are just going to highschool, kicked out at 20, if they are going to a four year college, kicked out at 24).
I sometimes fear my brother will become that man you speak of. I just turned 18 and am moving out in the fall. I will live at home during summers though. My brother, who is only a year younger than me, has already started measuring my room to turn it into a game room, he never plans on leaving, and to be honest, i dont think my parents mind…hes the baby bird my mom will never push out of the nest.
At our house, after HS graduation was out-of-state college for 3 of us, military for one, and #5 did hang around until he was well past 21. The elder 4 of us couldn’t figure it out and repeatedly told my mother to “kick the little bum out.” She didn’t do him any favors letting him lengthen his dependence.
I think between 18 and 20 or as soon as he/she quits following house rules. My kids (10 and 5) already know this.
i think that most of the time, the child should move out when they are ready, but in some cases, it may be nesesary for parents to force them out (but they should always help them find a good place to move to).
i don’t like how most parents in our culture focus on getting the kid to hurry up and become an adult as soon as possible, just to get them out of the house. i thing childhood should be more cherished and enjoyed.
You can’t really give an age for that.
Just depends…
i think it depends on the kid…and his abilities to cope.
to make a living…
to manage life..
they need a skill set..
i work with the disabled…
maybe i have a different look on life…
some of my stuidents will never leave home… and the parents have to look at guardian ship issues… and they have to worry who will care for their “child” after they are gone…
very deep issues… very stressful
some kids leave and have to come back…
for sake of $$ or sanity…
parenting is for ever…
not just the lil bundle in …blue….
IMHO
13. Not a day after.
In normal circumstances, I would say that after college a child (no longer a child) should take no more than a year to find a job and move out. They probably should have been getting that job WHILE they were in college and would have moved into their own place DURING college, but we are talking extremes here.
There are, however, some families I know where the child and parent(s) need each other and are complimentary to each other in the same home. The child works, pays rent, and helps his/her parent(s). As long as it works for everyone and there is no mooching, then I see nothing wrong with it.
Long story short: The normal person should want to be out on his/her own by the end of college, but some people cannot be put in normal categories.
oh god, I really dont think I could live with my parents past 20 although I dont think I could handle all the responsibility on my own. I think a good alternate option to living with parents is sharing a place with a friend(s). It splits up the responsibility greatly.
I think it depends on the situation. I’m 27 and just moved out (again) of my parents house this weekend. I moved back in when I finished grad school and was job searching, I didn’t know where in the US I would end up. I stayed a couple months after getting my job to save some cash and then I was gone. I think its nice/helpful for parents to offer their house to their kids if they are genuinenly trying to get their feet on the ground. That’s an easy thing they can do to help their kids out.
It depends on the situation. I think that after 21, the child must pay rent, no excuses. Otherwise, out the door. At 25, they need to start looking for a home, or if the job doesn’t permit, a new job, or if they have a good job but simply can’t find an acceptable place(it is possible), then pay what an acceptable place would cost. On their 30th b-day, give them the boot. They are perfectly capable of living on their own.
The exception being if the parents have medical problems, and the child takes care of either or both of the parents, then I can understand living in the same house.
18
My parents would like to have me home for as long as they can. I am going to be a nurse and I am not “ALLOWED” to work the over night shift. I grew up in a very protected household. I think a good age is after college so about 22-23 or so.
I don’t think you can just restrict it by age. Our parents rule has always been that as long as you are in school full time you can stay at home. Once that stops you start paying rent or you move out.
I’m 23 and working full time and going to school full time. I’m actively pursuing my degree, but it won’t be completed for a couple more years. I meet their requirements. I get to stay.
40 is absurd. If he stays in that house he never will get married.
I moved out at 16 through force. I personally don’t think that it should be the parents choice alone. I think it should be a mutual desicion between parent and child. The child should already be prepared to step out into this big bad world on their own.
i moved out at 20, but after my divorce i found myself back home. my mother ended up moving in with her boyfriend and i stayed on in her house to help take care of my kid sister. so now i’m 26 and i live with my 17 year old sister, technically, still at home.
i say as long as the person is helping with the bills, that it doesnt really matter…tho, i’m sure i’ll feel different when i have a couple of 20 year olds still eating my breakfast cereal.
When they can support themselves, but the age always varries. I think it depends on when the child reaches a certain maturity level…but sometimes they have to move out to gain maturity.
~Leana~
at least after college…
Why should a parent boot out a child by default? Where did that reasoning come from?
However, I think setting rules to ensure the ‘child’ is a productive member of the family woul be a good way to make sure all parties are agreeing.
21
16, get the heck out of there…
college age. around then you are ready to get the hell out.
It’s the right time to move out when a person is ready to experience the world. If the person’s scared, then take a deep breath and dive into it. Wouldn’t parents be there when they are needed? And there are always friends.
It really does depend. I am in the place also where I don’t think I could stand it for longer than a summer, but my uncles and aunts have the key to our place because they once lived there. I think when I have a good job and am able to support myself then I’ll move out. I plan on moving back home after my work with Americorps, but I’m not sure whether I’ll live in my parents’ place or get my own. It depends on the money and conveniece to school (my parents live 10-15 minutes from my potential grad school…
I don’t think a certain age can be set; I believe that a decision should be discussed and acknowledged between both parents and child. If there’s misunderstandings it only creates more issues. I’m 20 and at college, and I’m not sure I could ever live at home again, but it’s through my own decision and not my parent’s doing.
btw, nice site.
When the son or daughter is capable of moving out, getting a job, and making their own living, it is the right age. This is not when they want to, but when they can. People need to have a little bit of independence.
>Ariana
2.
I left home at 17 to go to college. I never moved back in. Could you imagine living in your parents house and trying to do the humpitty bumpitty with a stripper that you brought home? That’s just whack yo!
18. i hate living at home
my daughter can stay 4ever if she wants to. we have an awesome relationship.
In my opinion, one should move out as soon as he is legally, financially, and emotionally able to handle it. And the financial part means just having a place to live, gas money, and food and water, money to pay electrical bills and such. Cable TV and internet should not factor into it, as should many other things that end up deciding whether or not people move out. It’s easier to live comfortably than most people think, and a lot less expensive.
For me, it’s not a question of when they want me to get out, its a matter of when I want to get out, which is pretty much the day after I graduate from HS. I’m one of those people who want to get out in the world and make something of myself, I can’t stand being dependent on my parents. When it’s my turn to have kids, I’d be open about wanting them to go straight from HS to college and working, b/c you need to build value early in life. And for the people who say that you need two incomes to stay afloat, that’s not true at all. Kids just want to live with more than they are truly entitled to (ie. New cars, comfortable apartments, lots of fast food). You can live plenty comfortably on a low income living in a lower end apartment and living off of Ramen noodles, green tea, and lean pockets.
I think you should have to move out when you turn 23!! Yupperse!! Cause it’s just to much!! lol… Why live with your parents your whole life?
not until they get married..or by 25 if they are not out yet