January 31, 2006
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Sex Part 3
I was talking to a friend one day. He mentioned that his wife and him had sex about once every 3 to 6 months. I couldn’t believe what he was saying. I asked him what they do with their time.
It is unusual to me that someone who is married would have sex only once every 3-6 months. I thought they must be sexual camels. They could go a long time without sex.
How many times do you think the typical couple has sex a week?
Comments (161)
3 times if you’re me
Typical? Maybe 6 in the beginning, .5 later on. Ideally? 3-5 times a week.
first!!!!!!!!!!
Everyday of course….
Candy XO
i think when people first get together, 7+ times a week.. then a bit less
I dunno about typical. But, well…I know me and Jonathan, and I make this prediction now… when we are married…the non-sex days will be rare.
Once a day or more sounds like good times!
Maybe 3-5 times a week when things settle down a bit
I might be considered young and inexperienced, but isn’t sex like…one of the ways a couple shows their love/affection? So I agree with IenYNeT; a healthy couple would do it 3-5 times
Forgive me for not commenting in the past. I have been reading your site for a little while. Sort of being a lurker you could say. The question isn’t really how many times a “typical” couple has sex it is how important is sex to their relationship.
hell, every day! I love sex! honestly, lol Probaby closer to 3 times when things cool down
About 3-5 times a week seems about right.
with each other?
Oh, you came back! Hahaha… I noticed you made a lot of new blogs. =) I’m glad to know that you’re back. V(^_^)V
Sorry if my xanga is too dormant. If you want to drop your subscription to me… well, it doesn’t matter. I will be resuming my posts sometime next month.
depends on how old, but probly average age people go for it about 3 times a week…..
not that i would know at all!
i wasnt going to post…because im kina boycotting..yes i was talked into this by a female…
but i got to ask..how do you have time to be a parent..be a husband..and blog all day? do you not work…or what? how do you do it all?
ahahahaha. i don’t know, but i would agree with most people here. but perhaps having kids changes it too…
How did you go from being so busy that you “retired” to now posting five times in one day?
Once in 3-6 months . . . wow!
:: Kevin
I think the typical couple has sex twice a month.
I know many people who are much less than than, but not many who are more. These are married couples.
Married couples with kids….
I have sex about 4 times a week, but I only see my boyfriend on the weekends. I don’t know what “normal” is. At least once a week, I’d say.
Dunno, but if I were married and my wife was hot it would be like twice per day. Oh yeah!
5+ times per week is for me.
I heard a joke about marriage. Sex is never…haaaa
not for me it wasn’t but it was a 5 year marriage full of long term absences.
with a live in boyfriend anything less than once a week is shameful.
This is my answer….and I’m sticking to it.
;.)
I’d be up for four or five times a day. I’m sure my future wife will be game.
oh my god thats riduclous. i would think healthy would be once a week no?
2-3 times a week For the…on edge couples that I know
More like 5-6 times a week for the newly weds
But you know, this is what is discussed between me and my female friends…Couldn’t speak for myself though, if you catch my drift LOL HAHA
SAM
I think “typical couple” is too vague. It all depends on age, and if they have alot of kids or not.
With my ex husband once a month. Maybe once every 2 weeks after we first got married. With my current beau…..I could see it every day….maybe twice a day on a few days of the week.
Im pretty sure everyone else in the world is gettin it at least one time more a week than me.
not alot. after
awhile you tend
to take advantage
of the fact that
you’re hitched,
and dont have to do it
in fear of splitting up.
<3
in response to christianfrenzy’s comment, i am reminded of this video: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/moresexthanme.html :-p
>I’d be up for four or five times a day. I’m sure my future wife will be game.
Maybe if your future wife is a blow-up doll.
everyday would be great.
everyday would be great.
I’d like to know how many people here are MARRIED and have posted. I read a lot of post by people saying “once I’m married…”etc. Because I am not married, nor have I ever had sex (yeah, 24 male, proud of the fact) I would not know even how to assume what “would be”
I dunno
I’d hope at least once a week, 3-5x a week if we could manage it. Wonder what this couple does with their time…
Probably about 1-3 times a week.
for obvious health reasons, as stated so many times above, at least 2-3 times a week.
2 to 3 times a week
couple living together? I would hope everyday.. but probably more realistically 3 times a week.. anything less would kinda suck.
Typical couple? Good question. I’ll say once or twice a week. Maybe thrice, but that’s pushing it.
not healthy.
the fact that i don’t know how to answer this question shows how little sex is talked about. we should talk about it more often.
i didn’t read all the comments, but the first few ones are like, all the freakin time. one of my best friends and her boyfriend have never had sex before because it’s not in line with their beliefs to have sex before marriage. i think when they get married, though, he’ll have the time of his life because she’s a freak. how many women do you know who want to install bars on their beds so they can do it? damn, imagine how toned her arms would get…gives “getting a workout” new meaning!
3-5 times a week…or more hopefully
1-2 times?
Before I got married I thought 3xs a week would be good. Now we’re accomplishing something if we manage once a week. Kinda sad, but it seems to work ok for both of us most of the time, so we live with it. I don’t really know how that compares to the “average”. I had heard that the official average for married couples is 3 times a week, but I wonder if that is accurate. Statistics can be misleading. I know people who have sex a lot less than than. I don’t know of a lot of people who have it more frequently, but then that is not something I generally ask about right away. I imagine there is a vast difference in frequency between long-term relationships and dating relationships that don’t have a clearly defined, high level of committment.
0 if you’re married a REALLY long time.
normal ppl probably, 2 times a wk after being married 7 plus yrs.
To the person who asked who is married:
I am married and have been a very L____ong time.
I’m going to say anywhere from 1 to 7 times a week is about average. LOL! ;-D I also loved the comment made by someone who said they were sure everyone was getting it at least once more a week than they were…..too funny. (Basically I’m saying I don’t know.)
Several to as many times as I’m allowed. If she isn’t willing, I’m not allowed! ; )
according to studies, sex is good for your health. those people are going to kick off dead unless they get busy.
my first husband and i had sex once a year. maybe. if he was not drunk or too high.
my second husband and i AVERAGE about 2-3 times a week, but sometimes it is daily, so you do the possible math.
if both people work, if one goes to school, and then there are kids, i would think once every 3 weeks would be pretty good odds. it depends on your schedule, stamina, and resolve.
With kids or without? That makes a significant difference, I’d say.
We shoot for once a week on average. I think people vary way too much to really try to guess what the “average” number is for married couples. For some it’s totally normal to have sex at least 3x per week, and for others once a month is a busy month. The true “average” (mean) is probably somewhere in between those 2.
i hope every other day. a loveless relationship is not for me.
hmm.. hard for me to answer…
I’m not sure..but i know how many times i would want it.. 10 times a day!!! Haha maybe just a few times a week..
Gotta define the typical couple first. Married? I’d say everyone would like to have sex at least once a day. Generally, I think newer relationships and marriages have more sex then older ones. Personally, all day everday of course=P.
I’m going to say about 1-3 times a week. I’ve been married 26 years. It’s still there…it’s just finding the time in our schedules.
How many times a day/week do you go at it dan?
3?
Ben and I used to have sex about 3-5 times a week, but now it’s about 2. This is mostly because we’re apart so often, and for prolonged periods of time.
It is very difficult for me, but generally worth it.
3 x a week, at least! At least!!!! If it was my choice, once a day, even if its a quickie.
at least once a week
I’m boycotting you too basically but I’m with Rob, how do you post so much if you are a busy man?
It depends on the couple and their sexual appetites. I think every other day is a good formula, but something like sex should never be scheduled…
Question: was the person complaining?! I think my husband is probably normal when it comes to the male appetite for sex, and I imagine that it would be impossible for us to go 6 months without sex unless there was some kind of medical emergency!!!!
These is a saying… if you put a penny into a jar each time you have sex dung the first year of marriage, then take one out each time, every year thereafter, you will die before your empty the jar… or something like that. Not universally true but, common. If I get married again, I hope to have sex every day (at least), as long as I’m alive.
*insert joke here*
Your friends are sex camels. LOL!
I say….Once a month.
Thanks for the supportive comment the other day……..and I hope you did run up that escelator……..LOL
I think the last stats I saw said once a week was about ave……..We have a rule among our friends…………at least the married ones………at least every 5 days, if not more. Just keeps the relationship going in the right direction.
hahah
i guess it depends on what else is happening in their lives… kids/work/ etc…
but once every 3-6 months? that seems awfully long O_o…
Typically, in the beginning of their relationship couples tend to have sex more often, then the fire kinda calms down. I do not think there is a rule to this. Couples should have sex as often as they feel comfortable to do so. If the couple you mentioned are in a well functioning relationship, then what is the problem? It is up to them.
sex? what’s that? hehe…
Depends.. I think if you’re dating or newlyweds, you’re generally going to have sex more often and if you have young children or you’ve been married 25+ years you’re going to have sex less often. Statistically speaking, of course..
I think couples, disregarding all other factors, should have sex a minimum of 2 times a week. For me personally though, I wouldn’t mind if it was 2 times a day.
A typical couple? Hmm…2 or 3 times….?
RYC: It’s definitely a lot different than myspace, you said before that it was much more oriented around friends, and it totally is. It’s been interesting to find friends from “back in the day” that I probably wouldn’t have had contact with.
depends on their energy.
Dan, I thought you had gone into retirement from xanga, but here you are again back out of retirement I gaher????
Dan, I thought you had gone into retirement from xanga, but here you are again back out of retirement I gaher????
Dan, I thought you had gone into retirement from xanga, but here you are again back out of retirement I gaher????
At least 3 times a day!
One for MORNING.
One for AFTERNOON.
One for BEDTIME.
And sometimes a spontaneous one in the MIDDLE of the NIGHT.
Too much? Definitely not…
Depends on a lot of factors, but on average, I would say everybody’s guesses are pretty high. I would say once a week.
I guess it would depend on the relationship, their ages, and the quality of sex they have. Some people lose excitement with age, hence viagra. o.O
I remember reading somewhere it was about like 1-3 times a week But I’m sure that varies with age and what not.
I think normal married sex is about 2 to 3 times per week. At least twice!!
With their spouse, probably not a lot. With their mistress, probably a lot.
Typical is probably once a week after the first year. And to be the predictable male, if I’m ever married I’m hoping for daily or more.
Status: Married 7 years with one child age 5
Answer: Every other day.
I don’t really know what is normal, but I do know that once every 3-6 months cannot be very healthy for a relationship. Sex is kind of the glue that holds a couple together, and if it’s not there things start falling apart in other areas…
Three if they’re under 40. Mon, Wed, Fri. Off and on on weekends.
3, maybe 4.
before or after marriage?
Only once every 3-6 months doesn’t really sound healthy to me. I would feel very ugly and unloved if my husband was only interested in it that infrequently.
That being said, I think that 3-5 times per week, excluding a certain time of the month since that is a bit uncomfortable, is healthy. Any more and you have no time for regular life, i.e. work, house work, eating. A whole lot less has the potential to make the relationship suffer.
I have to say, though, a lot of the young, unmarried males commenting seem to have a very unrealistic idea of what married sex really is like. There will be some days where you’ll just be too tired to have sex, no matter how much you want to. Especially after you have your own place and have to be in charge of the upkeep.
In the beginning definately every day, but later on, 3-5 times is healthy.
2-3 times a week??
2-3 times a week on average. We practice NFP so there are some weeks with 7 times and about 10 days with none. Right now we are in our 4th week of abstinance after getting pregnant. This is going to be a long first trimester!
I thought typical was 4 times a week.
Interesting topic….I’d tell your friend to call the doctor and marriage counselor. Nicely of course!
I guess it depends on the sex drive of the couple, but I’m thinking maybe every single day, sometimes more than once a day if the mood hits.
twice a week.
Not Enough.
Augh. I think that the couple will have sex like wild animals the first couple of months, then slowly lose interest in having sex. I’m really not near old enough to debate how much a couple would, though, outside that.
-Lauren
Hmmm… “typical” I’m not sure. Two or three times a week maybe?
Typical unmarried couple… 5 times a week; married couple… 2 or 3 times a week; married couple with small children… 2 or 3 times a month
when the mood is right; it also depends on how much they like each other, how attractive they find each other, and how far along the relationship is.
In the beginning, every night. Later on…. I think those in healthy relationship should have it at least 3 times a week. My guess is most American middle aged couples only do it about once or twice though….
and what drugs they’re on
When I was married it was about 4 times a week … if I had my way it would be every day … maybe a few times … ha ha
Every 8 hours. JK
I think it depends on how they are getting along at the time. My relationships have been so rocky, I don’t think we ever settled down to a normal frequency.
During the good times probably 4 times in 7 days.
L,r
When my husband wasn’t traveling during the week we had sex atleast 2 times a day. Now he’s home Friday night thru Monday morning and we have sex 2-4 times a day (except on Monday mornings). I’m not sure about anyone else though, I’ll guess 4 though…
Oh boy now I feel kinda guilty. We have sex about once every couple of weeks. Sometimes once a week. After reading these comments maybe I should give it to him more.
That was the fastest retirement I have ever seen.. welcome back.
Answer : 3-5 on average..
Well in my relationship we range anywhere from 5-10 times a week. We are very young and even though we have been together quite some time I think later in life it will slow down a bit. It actually has slowed down a little since our work schedules changed. We used to average twice a day. I think children will definately impact the numbers. I would say the average “healthy” couple would have sex 2-3 times a week. Going months w/o sex is not a good thing no matter what your relationship is like, there is a problem some where.
I have been married for 18 years. We still love to do it, but don’t always have the time and energy.
I would say once a week is average.
When we were first married, it was all the time.
Typical? Ha. My husband works out of state, so we are like camels. We get it when we can….
once a week. the average married couple has sex 3 – 4 times a month!
There are way too many factors to average it out, but my age (24) I’d say 2-5 times.
2
Hopefully atleast 8+ per week
RYC: I’m glad you decided to hit my blog but you know I do understand you can’t hit everyone’s but it sure seemed strange that you decided to visit mine only after I said I was boycotting your site. And to top it all off you didn’t even answer the question that I asked. Not to be mean, but my last time at yours, and please do not visit mine anymore.
What’s strange here is that your friend admitted having so little sex. Of course {wink wink} maybe once every 3 to 6 months seems like a lot, to him. Then again, he may well have been pulling your leg.
at the start, i think its about 7, then drifts to about 3-5 for the first couple years, then drifts from that
2-7 times a week depending on the wants of both people.
The typical couple has sex too few times per week. Often the husband is unhappy and the wife doesn’t care or doesn’t realize how bad it is to deprive one another, but it is also common for the husband to show little interest in a healthy frequency.
As a general rule, seek never to deprive your spouse: go with the frequency of whoever needs more. There are things that take proprity, and frequency will decline with age, but if you can’t find strength or time to make it happen at least twice a week, I suspect things arn’t right.
Yes, of course there will be medical exceptions, but the Biblical principle from I Corinthians 7 is this:
Let the husband render to his wife th affection due to her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Love AND/OR marriage is not all about sex. Why do people think that? Can’t two people love each other without being physical?
HAHAHAHA. I can go 3-6 months without. Since the baby, I think we’re down to once or twice a month.
However, I think most couples who are in love with each other probably do it once a week. But I don’t know.
Not enough.
Stagnation is the word, the feeling that you get when you have no feeling at all. When you’re happy to see them, but the spark is gone. Not gone, not quite. Much like coals. They burn down slowly, and they have to be turned, the ash knocked away.
Life is that ash, and passion is the fire beneath it.
Besides that, what is a couple? A dating couple? A married couple? The dating kind and newlyweds will obviously have that spark fresh on their minds, but the more time passes, the harder it is to find the time, the motivation, and the passion.
And to be honest, this just applies to life in general. Sex is an act, theoretically between two people, but as the days lag on, it, and every other act, becomes an act of one person with others involved. People just lose their will after a while. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s happened to me.
Entropy is the law of the land. No chess metaphors this time.
-Adam
thats weird.
umm 7-9 times a week
lol
thats horrible
everyday why not? Judi
1-3 times per week…depending on tiredness. my dh gets so exhausted when it’s report card time (at school, not at home) that he falls asleep on the couch and can barely wake up enough to get into bed. i feel it’s respectful of me to allow him his rest and not pounce on him. but, during vacations or other times when his work life isn’t as stressful…we try to make up for lost time. we try to get it in at least once a week. there have been times when we’ve gone a month…like after baby, or a couple weeks…like after a miscarriage…but i’m usually the one to initiate after those times because i need that time to reconnect with him.
Once every 3-6 months? How old are they? No, seriously. Do they have health problems? Does the husband actually possess a Y chromosome? I’d be very interested in what precipitates sexual intercourse for them every 3-6 months. Is that how often they get drunk? I have no idea what the “typical” couple does, and I imagine a couple for whom the initial glow of love has worn off might go a few weeks or so without having sex, especially if there are business trips involved, or they live on opposite coasts, but 3-6 months? As a general habit? That’s really, really curious.
having been married for 26 years, the mum of a 21, a 16 and a 14 year old, at this time in my life we are happy with almost every day. sometimes 2-3 times in one day………shocker i know – but it is sooooooooooooo much better than when we were first married or when the children were little. i have only been with my husband and am so grateful for that too. so, age has nothing to do with it and i can hardly wait to see what the future brings !!!!
Who knows. A couple times a week depending on age (maybe) and how tired both people are.
RYC: Our little guy eats well, or so we thought. It’s so weird to find out that he’s lost weight when we thought he was gaining. He’s not really having any feeding problems. I’ve plugged him full of formula all afternoon. Can’t wait to see his diapers soon….
On average, I’d have to say 3….
Myself considering, I would like to at least remain intimate once a week…
~Caroline~
<3
Once. I bet that’s average.
Depends on what you mean by [typical].
>Ariana
Maybe about 21 times a week. Sex when you wake, sex at lunch, sex before sleep. If your lucky enough to be near each other at lunchtime…
Im not kidding. Physical consumation of mental endearment is rather important.
I have no idea. I’m not married. X P. A lot of people here seem to have so much sex in a week.
Wow.
4-6
Oh dear, ive never been in a relationship longer than 9 months? I live like a teenager, I have zero experience in so much….
six to seven.
nine to ten if the weekends are uneventual.
So, after 35 years of marriage, I’d say at the beginning, at least every day. After 20 or 30 years, maybe down to 3 or 4 times a week. Turn off your TVs!! The real thing is much better!
when i was married we had different work schedules but usually ended up at least once a week.
with my current relationship we vary between once a week to 5 times a week…
i think it depends on when you have the time and whatever the mood is….sex is a great stress reliever!
in the beginning… everyday! Once things slow down..3 times a week is good… depends on how good the sex is!
At least 5 times a week.
Don’t make me laugh. What would a redneck like you know about sex? Aside from beating off, that is.
ive never done it before (hopefully i will) plus i dont even know n e 1 o here but id say about 6 times a day.
comment bak if ya like
ok dont do that
i think for a typical couple its maybe once a week. i hope we never get to that point.
a couple of times a week… and as I get older… that’s plenty LOL!
i’m with Ghost_Lw on this one…it only matters how important sex is to the relationship. more important = more sex. less important = less sex. but once every 3-6 months is pretty sparce…at least for me.
that has to suck i think every married couple should hav sex at least two times a week.
With me and my honeypuss, it’s about 3-5 times a week. That still isn’t enough for him.???? Why???
How many times do *you* think a typical couple has sex a week?
Depends on a lot of factors. First and foremost, her mood. Secondly, the disposition of our children. Thirdly, the time we finally get to bed. Lastly, whether I have found favor with my wife that day. Lots of variables.
I love how mostly teenagers answered your question. What do they know?
once a week
once
Realistically, for a married couple, both working full-time — I say once a week is about right. Ideally, the same couple would probably prefer to have sex 3-5 times a week if they weren’t so damn tired! (Speaking from experience, of course.)