March 29, 2006
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The Issue
We have dealt with serious issues today. We have talked about immigration. We have talked about religion. We have even touched on the issue of voting. Now I want to put us in a place where we have to make a stand on the real issues that we are confronted with in our daily lives.
If you had to pick between one or the other, would you prefer to have diarrhea or constipation?
Comments (189)
You’re so weird. :p
woo. wow i am 2nd on your site. now how cool is that. lol seriously everytime i come on here theres about 6 millllion bazillion comments
Take some pepto-bysmol & you’ll have niether.
Hey check it out… top ten…
~Stix
None
OMG I’m 4th…amazing.
I’d definitely go for hmm..I thought I knew but don’t!
.Diarrhea
=X I’d rather have diarrhea.
Constipation, if I had to choose. Hopefully it wouldn’t be an exceptionally bad case…
-Jared
constipation
buttt i think diarrhea. yuckk. oh welll. part of life? haha
diahrea
where?
Both …. hahahahah
hah are there people that just sit on xanga and wait to see when you post so they can comment you Dan?
that is a tough one…neither are really pleasant…but I guess I would have to say the big D…gives me uninterrupted reading time…LOL!!!!
What? I think I like the serious topics better…
Diarrhea, because constipation is a (literal) pain in the ass.
Diarrhea. Makes me lose weight *.^ . Constipation feels weird. Diarrhea = gone soon.
Diarrhea. it’s inconvenient, but it’s less harmfull
I’d go with the squirts, but this is not a fun question to think about.
pooping is gross….I am glad I only go once a week.
diarrhea
oh ish! if i HAD to choose one….I suppose I’d have to say constipation…..but….gross.
I’d prefer to get it out. I can always replinish!
constipation
what’s wrong with people???? I’d have to shower if I had diarrhea. GROSS.
Constipation. I prefer discomfort to a mess like that. Thanks for asking.
constipation. it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.
hate the feeling of diarrhea.
Diarrhea, because then at least, your body’s getting rid of all kinds of worms and that kind of stuff.
Diarrhea. But it’s harder to spell.
hehe …….. its fallout_chick_11 …………. but diarrea……… yeah
Constipation.You can always take a laxitive!
definitely diarrhea…though more of an annoyance, certainly less painful.
constipation, less trips to the bathroom.
but lets hope neither would last too long.
constipation. and that goes for changing poopy diapers, too. i HATE messy ones!!
are you gonna put the answers on some sort of bar graph? “73% of my readers would rather be constipated than have the runs” or something?
hahahhahahahahahahahahahahha. One that we have to face daily realistically? This is the most non serious youve been ever since I’ve known you. =P. I would have to say, diarrhea. Feeling constipated would be horrible since it lingers. Pop a pepto bismol and in 20 mins, youre good as new. Ahhhhh, modern medicine. =D
diarrhea;
i like taking shits.
diarrhea
Constipation, hands down.
It’s more easily cured, not as messy, and less suggestive of serious health problems (as far as I know, anyway).
A combination of both.
diarrhea, prolly my most favorite thing in the world
lol
diarrhea for sure
Dan,
You surprise me….Gawd…..not answering….
Gotta draw the line somewhere….This is it….hehe
Candy
diarrhea…..ditto to JAM4thte1Lamb…haha
Goodbye Dan….have a good weekend…I shall miss your questions
diarrhea, so I can use it to blast my enemies.
diarrhea
diarrhea because even with all teh running and trying to get to the bathroom on time–I’d be getting skinny. Eh, its the gift that keeps on giving.
Constipation. You won’t be in as much pain and you can pass the time by reading or something.
here is a story from a buddy of mine that i thought of when you posted this…
“Diarrhea, a little funny story about this. My dad taught 4th grade and in this particular year he had a set of twins in his class. One day both of the twins missed class. Their mother sent a “my kids were sick letter” to the office and it went something like this.
Please excuse Susie and Sally because they had dia (and then it was crossed out), diahia (and it was crossed out), diarhy (and then it was crossed out), the shits. Well have a nice day my friend.”
-night all!
charlie
…or is it more pain?
I don’t know. I’m not a very constipated person.
Lol.
Diarrhea…And I will resist the temptation to explain why.
How about death?
yeah i also thought about that myself…
BUTT-ACID
BUTT-FUNK
are two common side efects of diarrhea too!
-night all! (again…)
charlie
constipation…its not as noisy or messy lmao
Where the hell do you get this stuff?? I mean, I like it. I do! But you’ll have to tell me where you come up with your stuff. I mean, do you often think…What will I blog about tomorrow?? Just so you know, I’ll still read your blog if you just talk about how your morning went.
In answer to your query: The Big D. Better out than in. lol.
Since I live with D regularly (regularly, get it?) I’ll stick with the known evil.
(((((( GRANDMA HUGS ))))))
Lori
Weeeeeeellllll….. I guess I’d choose constipation, usually doesn’t last long, & is over soon.
the big d, you get something out that way
Michael
With diarrhea I’m running to the bathroom a lot, but I usually get over it with one pill. With constipation I’m sitting on the toilet in the middle of the night in pain while wishing I could finally get it over with and get back to bed. I think I’d prefer annoying to annoying and painful, so diarrhea.
Remember the old commercial where a man gets off a plane and is greeted by his wife. She asks what he brought back, and he tells her, “Diarrhea.” Yes, this man has been gone for weeks, hasn’t been with his beautiful wife in that long, and the first thing out of his mouth is “Diarrhea”.
are we talking like explosive diarrhea and cannonball constipation? assuming i have lots of water on hand and don’t have to worry about dehydration, i’d take the diarrhea.
If you had to, would you use sandpaper?
Either way, there’s a midol for that.
~Caroline~
oh, tough choice, they’re both so wonderful.
So far the weirdest update ever. Congrats.
Umm, err… constipation, I guess. >.>
wow dan, this is your best post ever…diarrhea, because when i go, its gone…usually.
Diarrhea. I had constipation like.. a week and a half ago. It sucked.
As John McEnroe would say – YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!
(but my sister says that she would prefer the Hershey squirts.)
larry
diarrhea. then you can at least get it over with.
DIAHREA… AT LEAST I KNOW I’LL BE MISSING WORK WITH THAT ONE.
LOL…thank you, i needed some good sh*t to laugh about tonight. pun intended.
constipation. i’d rather have funny facial expressions than be glued to the throne all day.
Haha.
Constipation.
Seriously.
What in the world? First the serious stuff and then pooping? Ewww.. I’d rather choke on pepto-bismol. Again, Ewwww…I don’t think that I needed to know whether it’s an “daily” issue but oh well.
Constipation so you have enough time to count the number of molds on the ceilings.
the toilet
diarhea..
constipation, im on spring break now playa
Um…. if I can stay home all day to sit on the pooper, then I guess diarrhea. If I have to actually go to work and get stuff done, then I think I’d have to go with constipation.
this is disgusting but i would prefer diarrhea providing that it happens at home. having diarrhea is the most natural way to get rid of toxins too so i guess it is good.
Constipation by a mile. Your stomach may feel uncomfortable, but diarrhea is frequent, messy, smelly, and makes you run to the bathroom at least five times a day.
Neither, i dislike both
OMG ~ some of the responses are fricken hilarious!!!! I can’t say that I’d WANT either…. but dang… I sure don’t wanna be stopped up!!!
And then have to have surgery because they have to go in and take that impacted crap out of there!!!!! **Ack**
Constipation. Because diarrhea can last for days, while if you’re constipated, once it all decides to come out, you’re only incapacitated for a short while.
I’d say Constipation…because you could always take medicine (pepto and an emima) stuff like that. But there is no stopping diarrhea….and you’re stuck in the bathroom until it is gone…ugh.
probly constipation…. easier to treat. i think…… i dont know… pepto bysmol works pretty good…
my internet was being stupid so it took me like 28 hours to answer your last question, but anyway…
i’m gonna have to go with constipation, please.
I don’t like having my arse stuck to the can…so constipation if I were forced to choose.
I’d rather release than have that all built up.
Tetris. The greatest thing to ease your boredom while offering to the porcelain throne.
Have we descended to this level in the theologian’s cafe where diarrhea or constipation is the subject matter? I’m all for mixing it up but given the sites name why not have the question, 100 B.C. clay pot or modern day American Standard ceramic toilet (with personal washing attachments of course)
I simply cannot imagine what would posses one to ask such a question.
HAHAHAH
….diarreah
Lol. It is funny every time you do that.
Uhh, I take Door #3 … Neither.
God bless,
Shohna
Diarrhea – Not that either of these are fun!
ewww thank god i am just a doll LOL
you running out of material there again Dan? time for a xanga break maybe.
Where else but The Theologian’s Cafe would you find God and poop side by side? Constipation or diarrhea, now that’s an issue! I’ll take consipation anyday.
you know what I find funny and interesting, the mix of people happy to answer this question, and the others completely disgusted.
Unlike the lofty God and all the problems off the world posts to comment on, sometimes its good to look back at some of the most basic element of the human existence. This may be gross on one level, but its about as human as it gets.
Oh…I don’t mean to be unlady like, but definitely diarrhea. Constipation is frustrating and make me bloated.
Diarrhea. At least it’s out.
I prefer Mary Ann, Ginger is just too “glam” for my taste!
diarrhea
Constipation
Constipation
That depends are were I am at….if I was on Vacation I would prefer Constipation…if I was home I would prefer diarriah….(at least I could lose weight that way)….hahaha
Diarrhea. I’d rather be “out of it” than “full of it”.
Diarrhea…defnitely. It still sucks, but at least you lose weight in the process! Yeah, I’m always looking on the bright side like that.
diarrhea! lol!
I think I work with someone with diarrhea of the mouth…
diarrhea…I’d rather it come out that having to try to get it out.
Oh my gosh! I agree with one of the first comments I read. You’re weird. Ewwwww. I don’t want either. Never was good at that “would you rather?” game. :Þ
Anything to give me an excuse to speend more time on the john. So, diarrhea it would be. Better out than in.
Diarrhea because it goes away the next day.
xoxo
I eat activia every day to keep my regular. Um, I’d choose constipation.
diarrhea..
LOL….this is a HORRIBLE question. Since I deal with the lovelihood of IBS….I would DEFINITELY take constipation! lol But I would rather deal with neither!! LOL That’s funny that you asked because a friend of mine and I were talking one day about having the flu…if we would rather have the diarrhea or throw up. It’s ALL bad!!
Diarrhea… lol.
Well, if i had to choose, it would be constipation…..but then again, maybe neither….
o.O…O.O…O.o….XD……This one has to be the most….interesting. lol
Hey, I commented just now on the previous post…fyi. I would rather have diarhea cuz that would mean I’d be losin’ weight!:)
I’d rather have constipation.
Ewww Probably diarrhea.
119th!
Constipation but not obsitpation (which is worse)
diarrhea….cha cha cha.
definitely constipation. lol.
the old diahrea……… constipation is pretty bad. Having diahrea you can just sit at the potty with a wireless laptop on xanga!
WAIT TILL UR 60, THEN ULL KNOW WHAT IT IS TO HAVE BOTH
diarrhea I suppose.. it’s over quicker
direreha aaarrrrrrrrggggggg
the d one, constipation sucks…
let it out!
You have got to be kidding!
L,r
Constipation. There are always ways to take care of that!
Here’s an idea for your next post:
Burn to death or drown?
L,r
Better horked than corked!
Diahrreah… because you can always take Immodium.
Slow or soupy…..
I think slow.
Diarrhea
Diarrhea
Diarrhea
Can’t believe I’m actually answering this one. If you’re weird for posting it…..how weird are we for answering it??? LOL.
Diarrhea. Won’t go into details as to why.
diahrea
diarrhea
constipation.
constipation…I guess…does it hurt?
Diarrhea. At least something’s happening instead of just sitting on the toilet groaning.
SugarBlue2:Burn to death or drown?
I read an article in which people who have been rescued and brought back to life after drowning said that the last few seconds are quite euphoric.
Diarrhea
Green Apple Quick Step
I forgot to mention that I love this question!
Neither; I’m invincible.
Diarrhea, so long as I didn’t become dehydrated.
You’re such an oddball!
Diarreah. Constipation is not fun.
Funny question, btw.
constipation
Ha. Constipastion
Literally or figuratively? Literally: neither. Figuratively, diarrhea, you can always censure rather but trying to come up with more ideas when you’re blank is hard.
Diahrea (spelling?) cuz then there’s no bleeding.
constipation
constipation
Both are so unpleasant. I get constipation more often. But diarrhea might be better, since you get to rest on the toilet wtih a good book and a glass of water for replenishment.
Diarrhea. Less pain. Rather get it out than keep it in.
diarea for sure
roflmbo….1
diarrhea. constipation is way more painful and inconvenient. not that diarrhea IS convinient, its just more convienient to go to the bathroom and actually get something out. sittin on the pot for 20 minutes with nothing happening except pain is downright annoying.
Consitpation – one can still get things accomplished and not have to be in the bathroom every five minutes…
constipation. it’s better than having to run out of the classroom every 15 minutes.
oh, my comment sounds just like andger’s. sorry, i didnt read that far.. and i meant what i said.
Hm..
I haven’t ever given it much thought..
=]
[ariana]
For how long? I think I would choose constipation… Though possibly painful, not as public and not as much running involved.
Definitely diarrhea.
I watched my uncle go through some terrible pain when his bowels got all screwed up… He had to take all sorts of nasty liquid meds. To no avail. He was back and forth to the doctor for enemas… Eventually, it got so bad, he stopped eating as he could not eliminate any waste. Then he died. He virtually starved to death. It was very sad.
What I learned: Eat a balanced diet with lots of fruits and veggies and high fiber foods and drink lots of water. It could save your life.
constipation
Ergh. Out of all the questions in the world to ask, you had to pick that one. : )
Diarrhea
what kind of question is that haha…i would pick diarrhea
Constipation. Think about it, if you have diarrhea, you have to interrupt whatever you’re doing to make. If you’re constipated, you have even less to bug you as you go through your day. Plus, laxatives are only a quarter mile stop away, and after your bout is over, they make a great holiday prank!
Then there’s colon cancer…
That is the worst choice I have ever been given. I must assume that you are speaking of run-of-the-mill versions of constipation and diarrhea. I therefore choose diarrhea as the lesser evil. LOL
I’m amazed at how many people you can get to talk about bowels. Maybe we all have too much time on our hands…. LMAO!!!
at least with diahhrea you can have some form of release. so, i vote that.
I’ll pass on both of them thank you very much. Yuck.
Diarrhea, LOL.. I can’t believe I am answering this question~
Diarrhea.
Sarcasm.
Constipation…Diarhea is all to familiar when you have major food allergies and your body treats some very normal foods as poison, constipation becomes quite preferable!
Ha, ha! The comments have been hysterical! Hmmm…constipation.
constarhea
i would prefer to have both and then splatter you!
gross i know :^(
I think diarrhea, because it causes less pain than constipation. Just like JAM4theLamb said, it is good to get it all out.
diarrhea
> Diarrhea. I can treat 98% of that with liquid control, and oral antibiotics. Just don’t run out of T.P.!! ;~}
Peace
constipation
Which ever one dont last that long.But neither really.
depends on if i’m at home.
diarrhea unless i was on a train or something.