March 30, 2006
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Death
I want to try a hypothetical situation. Pretend your best friend died. Pretend you went to the visitation. Pretend you walked up to the casket that was opened.
Would you touch your dead friend in the casket?
I want to try a hypothetical situation. Pretend your best friend died. Pretend you went to the visitation. Pretend you walked up to the casket that was opened.
Would you touch your dead friend in the casket?
Comments (277)
Of course!
Probably not. Would depend.
yes
Yes.
definitely.
sure
I think I would
It’s my best friend. I don’t understand why people are so scared of corpses at a funeral.. it’s not like they are gonna wake up & grab you. And it’s someone you know too, who you have probably touched before. This time, they just don’t have a pulse.
sure
Yes. I’ve done it before.
I don’t think I would.
Not for any sort of religious/spiritual reason.
I just can’t see myself doing it.
yeah, i think so.
If there had been a visitation witha open casket I would have. But my best friend was cremated with no visitation.
Yes of course. Here though it’s mainly closed casket.
No, because it’s not them anymore. It’s just their shell. I’ve been around a lot of dead people.
wow top 20. Yep sure would..
No
hard to say. it will definitely feel weird. it’s one thing to see them laughing, talking, smiling & another to see them lifeless. sad.
When my friend’s husband died, she was totally talking about him while standing next to his open coffin, every now and again, she would touch him or fix his hair…it didn’t bother me or anyone else.
Umm, never really thought about it, but probably not.
Yes, i would, and i have
Probably not, just because for a while that’s all I’d remember, is that ackward moment where I wished they were themselves again. I don’t want to remember my friend as a cold, lifeless body in a box, I want to remember her for the person she is, and I can’t say that if I touched her or even saw her in the casket, for that matter, I woudn’t think of her in the coffin first
Yeah Dan…..What’s the big deal about that??
Candy
Perhaps.
i dont think i would be able 2
yes
to know that this is real….despite how sad it would b
Depending on the friend, I might. But I would most likely not go to the viewing. I hate them.
I probably would. If it was my best friend.
Brittany
No, I never did with any of them.
Yes, if she was very close to me….like a sister. Death, in my opinion, doesnt seems real. Maybe i’m in denial but I cant believe it until i see it and after a week later of their funeral….
do you know how close i came to that?
my best friend attempted suicide last month.
hes alive and well…..the damn bastard….
but, of course i would.
Yes…I’d jump in with her and say farewell to this cruel, cruel world.
Touching dead body? Creepy.
I wonder how much more weird American culture can get. Touching a dead person in a casket…
no.. i had a hard time being in the room with my dead gma… let alone touch her.
yes
yea why not
Probably, but it would depend on my mood and impulses.
yes
yeah. i would
i sure would. may even kiss them goodbye.
i dunnno.. i went to my moms..aunt or grandmas funeral..i cant remember how im related to her :-/ but i had Never been to a funeral before that. as in that was my first one ever and it was just so weird for me and kinda scary..but ya i couldnt even go up to the casket to see her cuz i was so freaked out by it
I wouldn’t have a problem touching him/her… but why would you need to?
Yes. I hugged and kissed my grandparents and my father goodbye when they were in their caskets. For me it was part of having closure.
My friend just died last week, at his funeral I could barely look at the casket, it was so hard, I couldn’t imagine going up and touching him.
No. Her body is her temple for God. Even if she has left it, I still want to respect her even if she is gone.
One of my best friends died last April. I went to the wake and said good bye to her. I couldnt touch her because it didnt even look like her. In hindsight I would have rather said good bye to a closed casket. Just because I would rather have remembered her in alive…not the way she looked that day. This still bugs me.
I frequently touch the dead…
our bodies are ephemeral, our souls (can be) eternal
~tony
I probably would, out of sheer curiousity.
no
most definitely.
No. I probably wouldn’t even go into the room with the open casket. I didn’t do it when my mom dided, or my grandmother. I don’t know what it is about the viewing that gets to me, but I cannot do it.
My sister touched our mom. It freaked her out because the body was cold. The poor thing really broke down then.
No way. I do not want to feel cold skin. I would maybe touch their head where the hair would be. Or maybe where clothes were covering the skin. But never touch the skin.
at the wake perhaps….
I never touched my grandma..my grandpa kissed her cheek and it freaked me out. But I was younger then.
Honestly..I don’t know.
No, I think it semi-perverses the body if anyone but holy hands touch a dead body. However, if my friend had died recently and I had to carry him, or simply wanted to check to see if he was dead. I could.
My beleifs are contradictory…sue me.
I doubt I would, just because I’m not a very touchy-feely person anyway. I might, but if I didn’t it wouldn’t be because they were dead.
-Jared
No, it’s just an empty shell, besides it freaks me out ever since my first funeral I went to with my mother…
I have no idea. I think with these sorts of things we never truly know how we will react. I recently read a story written by a woman after her husband died, and she mentioned how comforting it was to carwl into his hospital bed next to him once he’d passed… a thought that up until the moments he died she would have considered endlessly creepy.
yes. I’m pretty sure I would.
Yeah, I would. I actually did this when my great-grandmother died a couple of years ago…though I did it while I was the only one at the funeral..place so others wouldn’t freak out.
I would ….very cautiously…dead people are really cold..it is weird
no. Perhaps my wife or child, but not a friend.
No. I couldn’t even touch my own dad. So, no, I wouldn’t.
No. I’d don’t even think I’d want to see the open casket.
yes but only a friend would i do that with.
I don’t know.
Very morbid subject. If my bestfriend did die, I would attend the funeral but I can’t say ahead of time whether I would embrace the corpse.
yes.
Yes.
no.
definitely and I hate bodies in caskets
I didn’t even touch my mom, or any of my grandparents. I’m not into that, plus they look so weird, I wouldn’t wanna touch.
maybe.
for sure.
No
yes… because I love him of the ends of the earth and beyond.
I would hold their hand.. hug them.. cry from them being cold.. talk to them.. wish for more time.. for 1 more second.. try to be at peace thinking that nothing bad would ever have to happen to them again.. and mourn for the rest of my life
I would put cornuts in his pockets, just in case.
There isn’t really a culture of open caskets in the UK so I’ve never been put in that position. I don’t think I would touch them but not for any particular squeamish reason. It’s not them anymore, just a body and even then one which has been altered by post-death processes. The essence that was that person has long since left the earthly shell.
sure.
Yes
I’m not sure. I think I’d be too broken up to do much of anything. I cry just thinking about that happening.
I would lay my head on their chest wrap one arm around them in a make shift hug and tell them I love them and good bye and they will always be alive in my heart…
I would.
While I don’t give as much appreciation to the body as I do my idea of the soul, and the spiritual connection we all have with this world — my belief is that this world is simply an extension of the species’ will, but this is a bit complicated for me to explain here and now, though you can check my blog, as I write about it once in a while — I do appreciate the body.
I don’t think it would be odd to touch a body. I’ve done so before; when I was 8 my best friend, at the time, died from a gunshot wound, which is one of the most unfortunate things in the world. We’d grown up together, and he’d become my brother, more than my best mate, or casual playmate. I touched his body when I saw him because I didn’t really think he was dead; I don’t know that I had any concept of death at that age, to be honest. I also touched my grandmother’s body at her funeral, which was a little over a year ago. This was my father’s mother. I was about 14-15 years old; I didn’t know her too well, but I felt such a connection with her that I just felt I ‘ought to let her know that I was real, and that what I felt for her was also real. That touch, while a simple gesture that, more than likely, went unrecognized, allowed me to conclude that part of my life.
Stephen
I have on a couple of occassions…just as a last touch.
Probably not. I think i’d break something (I’m just that talented like that)
Pesky
For me, I wouldn’t touch him because it would be a sign of disrespect. Dan, here’s an interesting question for you. If you dropped your 100 dollar bill onto your best friend’s casket, will you pick it up?
I have only touched one dead body and that was my grandfather. If my closest friend did I would probably reach out for one last touch before we sent him off.
I believe I would. I have before, and I guess this helps me feel like I communicated with them, even though it has nothing to do with their spirit anymore…
i don’t know
absolutly
only if he/she died from binge eating fruit loops. i’d give him a high five in that case.
yes
I’m not afraid to touch a dead person, but I just don’t think I would want to feel my best friend so….cold. I didn’t touch my grandpa when he died – I prefer to remember his warm hugs and soft lap…
idk…never touched a courpse in my life…why start??
no i wouldnt, because i have. its creepy
i’m pretty sure i would..
It would depend on how good a friend he was and on how the family would feel about it. I would not hesitate just because he was dead.
If they had an open casket yes, probably. But I don’t think most of my friends would have that.
I wouldn’t of walked up to the casket.
Yes. But only for a moment.
[ariana]
no..i really don’t think i could ever do that. i would probably turn around a start sobbing.
best friend? yes.
i hate talking about death, because i usually jinx the people i think of….
But yes i would…
<//3
It’s not that it’s weird or wrong, there is just no point in touching them, so no.
I am not a “toucher” anyway so probably no.
no. too painful.
yes, but it’s scarey (from experience)
indeed, i would. wouldnt you?
No.
not scarely as much as painful… i dont know… i can’t describe it
absolutely, positively, definitely
Yes. I also touch family members when I’m saying good-bye.
Hell no!
I’d like to think that I would but I may have trouble doing it at the time…
No, I wouldn’t want to remember her as… cold…. and all that.
~It’s creepy to me…. it really is. I don’t know…..
yes, but it’s just the body. the soul is elswhere.
I kissed the corpse of someone I loved. Touching the dead body is a way of us knowing that even though the flesh is there, the energy that was in them that made them alive is not. They are gone, we touch what we can, which is the body. She did not feel it, or see it, there was no spirit. It was for me to know she was dead, and to say goodbye.
I don’t think I would even go up to the casket. I still regret going up to the casket at my grandmother’s funeral. I would rather remember the person in life, rather than in death.
Um no.
Yes, but it feels very odd to touch a dead person.
I would have absolutely no desire to. If the body were fresh, like he just died next to me, then I would touch him, but not after being stuffed with horrible toxic poisons by the undertaker.
A friend is not a family member. No, I am not fingering dead human bodies. Unclean!
Probably not. I’ve been in similar situations, and I tend to just look…not touching is a way of getting past it…
Death is evil and unnatural. It was not meant to be that way. Anyone who tells you ‘death is a natural part of life’ is spouting satanic lies.
yes then i would cry.
~ErYn~
Maybe. Though I know that it’s just their body, and they are no longer there.
Probably not my best friend, but I did with my mom…
omg…yes,,touching my dead best friend is just the highlight of my life!!j/k…but idk until it was like right down to the moment,,but i might
Probably not. I would realize that it wasn’t my friend but his shell and it would hold nothing precious to me. I suppose if I were sufficiently motivated emotionally, I might inadvertantly touch him.
Would you?
L,r
nope.
I did not touch my grandpa, I didn’t even want to look at him, or remember him like that. And no way in heaven would I touch him or anyone else. That’s gross. They’re no longer there. It’s just a shell…
I want to be creamated. Before they pump me full of preservatives. No nasty viewing for me, that’s for certain. I find the whole modern death ritual rather disturbing, and very weird.
no.
Of course I would.
It’s hard to tell, but I don’t think that I would. Out of what I’d consider respect for the body, and worry that I’d smear their makeup.
- Jacob
i think i would.
No. That’s just creepy.
EW EW EW! No! I think that it is so weird that people have open caskets….I understand that some ppl might want to see their lost loved one, but it groses me out. I don’t like the idea of having an open casket for everyone to see your dead embalmed body. X-P There would be no way I would touch my dead best friends body, that’s just grose.
i think i would.
Yes, I’ve always touched the body. It helps give me closure I think, even though it’s a little weird.
Yeah, probably. If it was my best friend, I’d kiss their forehead and weep.
maybe touch their hand. I don’t know, I can be scared of irrational things.
thats gross. comment back
peace max
My best friend died at age 30 of lung cancer 20 years ago. I touched her hand in her casket. It was cold and hard. I cried great tears.
no. i don’t want to feel the body because it would just reinforce the fact that my friend is really gone. it wouldn’t be the same touching the body anyway.
yes…to feel him/ her one last time…
I don’t know. I didn’t touch my dad when he was in the casket. I wanted to mainly because it looked like a wax statue. I think I might.
Went to a friend’s funeral today, actually
[rest in peace, Justin Alexander Williams - we love you] =(
I wanted to touch him, but didn’t. I don’t know why.
Yes.
Probably not.
yeah best friend? i think i would
heck no! lol. u should get some music on here.lol
Probably
O_O…. i’m not sure….
probably not…
I would. But I guess you should know that my best friend is also the person I like.
Yeah, I’d totally give her a poke. We josh around all the time in life, why not in death too?
…altho come to think of it, she probably wouldn’t touch me….guess she takes life a little more seriously than I do…ha, I’m going to ask her whether she thinks this would be an appropriate act at her funeral. 
i couldn’t
I dont think I could
i don’t know. i don’t think so
i dont think i would. it would be too wierd.
yes
yeah i would.
yeah…. but it would be hard
I would and have before
what friends? if i did, i would not let go for dear life.
I don’t know.
This is one question I can’t really answer.
I might have thumb war with it . . . .
yes
Yes, I think I would…
I’ve touched both my grandmothers in their caskets — it’s not weird for me. As a matter of fact, one of my grandmothers died last Father’s day, and I kissed her cheek while she was in her casket. I would absolutely touch my best friends.
Probably
?????? I don’t know…
no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no the only time i even went near the casket was wen i went to my grandpops viewing. my mom brot me and my mentally retarded sister up to him to say “goodbye” i didnt leav the casket cuz my mom waz cryin so i thot it wood b best to stay w/ her. she kept askin me to kiss him or touch him but i woodnt. all i cood think abot waz him rottin away and never coming back to me.
*lynnz*
I dont think I would, I’d be too emotional.
Yeah
no
… why did she have to die? Why couldn’t it have been me?
I guess I would…
if he/she was a really good friend, then yes.
Yes. And then I’d go for his wallet.
maybe
i was there by my dad when he died. so i guess i’ve touched the dead before. so sure, why not?
Nope.
I’m Italian. We always touch the dead. It’s odd, but as the casket leaves the church, some of the older Italian women make sure they’re seated by the aisle so they can reach out and touch the casket.
YES!
i would have to
to be sure it was true…
*sigh*
got to touch the hand.
yes
I don’t know if I would or not. I did not touch my Grandpa when he was in the casket, seemed to creepy for me. It would not feel like Grandpa, but a corpse, who is not Grandpa. Rather remember the last time I hugged him when he was alive.
No.
I wouldn’t even look in the open coffin.
Dead people smell funny.
Yes, I would. This is silly, but I want to know if the cartilage in a dead person feels the way it does in a living person’s.
hypothetically… no
No, I wouldn’t. I would recognize that it was only the body of my friend in the casket and that my friend was now gone.
yes. i would prolly even kiss her on the cheek.
No I would not. I did touch my mom and that is the only person I have ever touched after they were dead.
If I felt like I should…
Yes…
ABSOLUTELY! When my dad and my stepdad both passed away, I patted their hands and kissed their forehead. Although their spirit is not there…..it’s still them and I love them just the same.
No. thats just a body, its not the person.
i think
yes/ no doubt about it.
No fucking way.
not if they were embalmed… it is too plastic and artificial an experience > my best friend died on her 16th birthday, i had just turned 15 four days before. what was in the casket bore no resemblance to my living friend.
now, 30 years later, my father died, and he was not embalmed, and when i went to say good bye to him at the funeral home, he still looked like my dad, so him i did touch…
I was actually thinking about this one today. A very dear frined of mine is serving in Iraq right now, and everyday I brace myself for bad news. I was thinking about him today, well, mostly his mother and how his death would devastae her. And then I thought about what his funeral would be like, and yeah, I’d touch him. I’d want to put the rubber snake in his casket that he gave me when he was 7.
Uh yeah, probably, but not for long. Just touch their hand or something.
Maybe
Yes…I almost always do…I’m Native American…we do that.
No! I only imagine the coldness….
I did but was in hospital so couldn’t. I would have and kissed him good bye as well as left something with him. I dont know what I never got the chance
of course i would.. and also i will talk to her/him.. ill thank him/her for the friendship.. and will ask him/her to bring with her all my problems..
NO. dead is dead. friend or not.
Yep. I owed this guy alot. He’s been there in both the good and the bad. Sure glad he’s still here, God Blees Him!
I don’t think so.
Yes
Sure, I ruffled up my brother’s hair at his visitation last August. They had made him look so stiff. In some ways, it can help you realize that the person is truly dead.
no.
No.
I couldn’t. When my best friend died, I was unable to, and I’ve always regretted that.
i gave my gramma a kiss…..she was cold, but i loved her so much i didn’t care
When my father died, I touched him in the casket. I’ll always remember the fact that his body was cold and his spirit had gone. I don’t think I’ll ever touch someone dead again, that was enough for me.
~xX…yes…Xx~
yes. i would have to make sure that they are really dead, otherwise i wouldn’t believe it.
yes. i would have to make sure that they are really dead, otherwise i wouldn’t believe it.
Of course, I touched and even kissed (on the forehead) my father after he died.
I don’t know that I would walk up to an open casket visitation, I find the whole thing a little morbid.
yes.
YES. I HAVE & WOULD AGAIN…MY DAUGHTER, MY BEST FRIEND BACK IN JANUARY…I SEE NO PROBLEM WITH IT.
DEBBIE
I didn’t and I’m glad I didn’t because my other best friend did and still can’t forget the way she felt lying there in the casket.
Here’s one for you…your friend calls and hasn’t talked to in a while from a fall out. Your leaving out of state so you tell them you’ll talk when you get back. They commit suicide while your gone and no one tells you til you come home so you never attend a funeral…would you feel guilty and could you find closure?
My best friend did die, and as much as I wanted to touch her, all I could do as stroke her hair for a second. I had the feeling that if I went to touch her body, I would have lost control of myself and I would’ve started to shake her, yelling at her to wake up.
maybe. when my sisters and I were kids our mom told us to touch our grandfather in the coffin and we did!
prob not
Of course. But alas, You are only touching the husk.
I probably would not. As it’s been stated, the body is just the cold shell of what they used to be. Instead of the warm hand that used to grip back would be a lifeless hand. It’s not your friend’s hand anymore. It’s a body’s hand. And it would probably plague my memories of that person from then on.
Yes, is that weird?
I don’t know.
NEVER.
I would….I’m never going to see them ever again in person, so why not…for memories sake.
It’s hard to bring myself to, but I did.
I was freaked out by how cold and hard his body is.
I honestly don’t know if I’d be able to to.
hell yeah i would, mah best friends are like mah family so hell yeah i would touch mah friend
I can’t really say. I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to remember her as a lifeless body. I would want to remember her as a vibrant person! This is why I want a closed casket or to be cremated.
hell no
no
not even if payed….
No way!
oh my gosh yes!!
> Have had cause to be in that situation, and Yes.
Peace
yeah…its not like shes going to jump up and bite me!
actually there are pictures of my dad posing next to the caskit at his older brothers funneral. that was quite odd…so whenever i would go visit my dad there was a picture of him on his living room wall of him leaning over his dead brother…i know…my family is STRANGE!
ok so no joke now.
this is weird.
one of my best friends just died.
http://www.dallasnews.com
yeah, i deffinetly think i would even though it’s really not them because it once was them.
yes.
yea i toubhed my mom didnt i?
depends on thier death situation. If they’re all mangled, no.
yea probaly
Yes I would.
Actually, I kind of have…
It’s not morbid… and it’s a way of saying goodbye. You want to be able to hold their hand,or stroke their faceo, or anything, one last time.
yes.
hell freaking no. that’s horrid!
i dont think i would
nooo way
at the funerals i have been to, where i was closely related to the person who died, they had you kiss them in the casket. it was …a little disturbing, because they’re cold and thats not how you want to remember them. but yeah i dont think it would bother me now.
my best friend: probably i would want to touch her one last time before i had to say goodbye forever.
yes
probably not
& sneak a little kiss
Sure.
I’m not sure
Yes….one last touch before they’re gone forever.
i would grab her hand and bawl
only if my friend was a sexy woman and noone was looking..
but i’m just saying that now i would DEF chicken out if i was there. be too scared probably
f*ck it maybe not..
i don’t know
The tactile sense, the sense of touch, is the most precious of all human senses. In fact, a person can live a completely normal life without the ability to see, to hear, to smell, to taste, but lose the ability to touch and you will not long mourn the sense’s passing. Infants born without the ability to experience tactile sensation rarely live long, and very rarely can one express true, genuine affection without touching another. Most certainly I would touch the body of a deceased friend, for in life we love the living and in death, we love the memory. Touch can link both realities and bring much comfort to those who still have a good deal of mourning to do on this earth.
Nope, it’s an empty shell pumped full of embalming fluids and I would treat it as such.
I’m not sure I’d be physically able to.
I went to a relative’s feuneral a year or so ago (I wasn’t too close to them, though we did share some very good experiences) and I couldn’t bring myself to walk up to the coffin and look at her.
It’s not so much the thought of a lifeless body, that doesn’t bother me at all. It’s the idea that even though you’re looking at the person that you know and love, they themselves are no longer there and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s this great feeling of emptiness that tends to overwhelm me at feunerals. I sometimes give the impression of indifference when I’m not in the room hovering over them, but that really isn’t it at all.
I don’t think I could. I have never been able to at any other funeral that I have been to, mostly because the person doesn’t look the same as when he/she was alive. The features are there, but something is different, his/her spirit is gone.
When my uncle died, he looked nothing like himself. He had been a plumber, who always wore tee shirts smeared with grease. It was who he was. At his funeral, he was clean and in a suit. He didn’t look like my uncle, even though it was his body. I couldn’t connect with him in that form.
i dont think so.. i probably wont go and then go to where they are burried and say sorry.. funerals just make me so sad and uncomfortable and they make me think too much.. it just sucks
I don’t have to pretend this one
. My friend really did die in October. I didn’t touch his hand. I was afraid to feel him cold and hard so I opted not to. I don’t know if I wish I had of or not. I think I’m glad I didn’t.
most likely.
probably not but i dont know.maybe
yeah
i wouldn’t want to feel her skin so cold and lifeless, but i wouldn’t be able to help it. i would have to touch her cheek, and her hair, just one last time.
it would help me have closure.
probably