April 30, 2006
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Grey’s Anatomy Part 2
I was watching Grey’s Anatomy tonight. One of the issues that came up was a woman who had six children and didn’t want anymore. She was about to have her seventh baby and she asked the doctor to tie her tubes without telling her husband. The doctor went ahead and performed the surgery.
Should it be a requirement for the husband to know before a woman has her tubes tied?
Comments (202)
I just saw that episode, too. My answer: No.
You wrecked it for me!
And, Um… no, but I think the woman should tell.
Husband should know before hand
No. She should, but it should not be a requirement.
Yeah!!
no….shes the one having the baby(didnt watch grays anatomy). i hear its painful
yes
a spouses should know about that stuff
Not a requirement to get his permission, just a requirement to make sure he knows.
It should be the woman’s decision. But, I do believe the husband should be informed. Before or after? That should also be up to the woman.
Yeah, I just saw that…I’m not sure it should be required, but I do thinks its advisable.
only if they are tied too tight
LOL, that’s ok! Wow…your comments totally spiked in like 4 minutes…impressive!
Just don’t post anything else about the episode. I wait all week for this show!
i don’t think it should be a requirement, but a woman should want her husband to know.
After that many kids? No. She def. has full right to NOT want anymore. If he wants more, he should get a sex change & get a working vagina.
(Yes, I know it’s not possible for sex change patients to produce children.)
i don’t think so.. i mean, goddamn she had 7 kids, she does not need to tell anyone, its her body and she’s the one suffering.
no
The woman should inform the husband beforehand, but it should NOT be mandatory that he give consent.
but i do agree that the husband should be informed, but shouldn’t be in the decision making process at all.
and… fyi, I added you to my protected list, I think you have good thoughts…
No, its her body and shes the one who is going through the surgery, not him. It would be good for her to tell him, but it shouldn’t be required.
Eva.
Geez, what’s the point of getting married if you can’t tell your husband something like that?
It’s something a married couple should consult each other on. My wife and I made the decision together. Then my doctor insisted on a meeting with both of us so she could confirm this before he set up a date for the surgery.
i think it should be a unwritten requirement unless of course it cant be prevented
the husband should not have to know, but I think a good relationship would be able to make those decions together. but in the end, it is her body.
i think its different for the make though. i think he shouldn’t be allowed to have a visectomy w/o telling his wife. many women want kids and want men that can give it to them, it’s different b/c the men aren’t carrying the child…
yah, double standard i know. but life isn’t fair.
He should have to know about it. That’s a big decision and he at least needs to be aware of it before it happens. However, I do agree that it is her right to not have more children if she doesn’t want to. He just needs to know about it, not necessarily to give permission.
Nah.I watched that episode too, twas a good one!Haha
If it is a Christian couple, the wife musn’t do this sort of thing without her husband’s knowledge and consent. If it is not a Christian couple, the husband and wife have bigger issues to deal with before this issue becomes a priority.
In orthodox Christian doctrine, husband and wife become “one flesh” and no longer have the kind of physical independence that would make tube tying without a husband’s knowledge or consent lawful.
Not required, but communication is always best . . .
sweet, you watch Grey’s!! dan, you’re too cool =).
hmm, idk though. i think i agree with diamondintherough22:
the husband should not have to know, but I think a good relationship would be able to make those decions together. but in the end, it is her body.
i think its different for the make though. i think he shouldn’t be allowed to have a visectomy w/o telling his wife. many women want kids and want men that can give it to them, it’s different b/c the men aren’t carrying the child…
yah, double standard i know. but life isn’t fair.
i know, copying someone’s entire comment is a cop-out, but i’m tired and she phrased it very well. forgive me?
It should matter just a much as a husband getting a vasectomy and telling his wife.
Ideally, the two should have talked the idea over and come to a decision together. However, if the wife didn’t want any more children, that should be her decision. Even if he wants more kids, if she doesn’t want to have them, then that’s her prerogative.
goodness no. it’d certainly be preferable, but it’s really only an issue if one them still wants children.
The doctors shouldn’t require that she tell him if she doesn’t want to. It’s her body, and her right to autonomy. However, I tend to think that if the couple has a healthy relationship, she would want to talk to him about it.
What if the situation was reversed? Suppose a woman dearly wanted to have more babies because she dearly loves them and is maternalis maximus. Husband starts thinking, I’m going to have to work three jobs to support this brood. Should he go out and get a vasectomy without telling his wife he’s crushing her dreams? In marriage, selfishness never works.
Yes, most certainly. A marriage is first among many things a contract for reproduction.
No, but certainly it’s something you should discuss with your husband.
The woman should discuss it with her husband, but I don’t think his consent should be required.
yes. It seems fair. I don’t think she should need his approval though. But really a healthy couple should be discussing this anyhow, I would think?
It shouldn’t be a reguirement to your husban but it would be nice to let him know.
Nope, but as almost everyone has said, he SHOULD know.
funny how we want to make rules / laws to “protect” people. As has been said there should be communication between husband and wife. You can’t force that with legislation.
so, NO.
Absolutely. The Bible talks about how the woman’s body belongs to her husband and the husband’s to the woman — the two become one flesh.
No. That decision should in the end be the womans choice. I am not however saying that the husband should never be told. If the couple is in a hosnest relationship they should be more than willing to tell eachother, but like I said, in the end, it is the woman’s health.
The wife should definitely tell the husband, but I don’t necessarily think she needs his permission. After 6 kids, I would be just insane enough to hurt him in his sleep if he protested the tubal. Grrrrr! ; )
I can’t beleive people say yes to this.
We should reverse this. What if a man wants to get a vasectomy, but the woman still wants kids? Should she have a say? It’s his semen, right?
I wonder if all the women on here would still have the same answers.
Still, what a great, loving, trusting marriage that must be…
i think before anyone can pass judgement they need to empathize with the situation…walk in the other person’s shoes. if the roles were reversed, i’d want to know if my husband was ‘snipped’.
I think that she had every right not to tell. And that Karev is just a jerk (I know, I’m into the soap opera toooo much!) I think that she didn’t even have to tell her husband that she had a “complication” with the surgery.
*A*
I don’t think it should be a requirement, but at the same time it shouldn’t be something that couples fail to communicate on. I mean seriously, practicality or principle? I’m gonna go principle — don’t require it. (practicality, force her by law, cuz laws apparently fix everything!… not.)
I think it’s between the couple to decide…ultimately it should be the choice of the person the surgery is being performed on anyways.
Helllll no…
If you wanna get me started on THAT one, you’d better pack a lunch.
that’s an issue between a husband and wife. not doc and patient. he can perform the surgery w/o telling…
what a woman does to or with her body is her own choice and there should be no laws regarding third party involvement in any situation.
however, a woman should have enough respect for herself to leave a relationship where she was not veiwed solely as a machine to mate and reproduce.
Nope,
Supreme court has ruled a woman doesn’t have to tell her husband when she wants an abortion
And i think THAT is More than getting your tubes tied
plus, it’s her body, she can tell whoever
It might not be a bad idea for the husband to know about it (in case there is a medical emergency in the future) but I think the wife has the choice to do that.
No, legally it is not required. However, surely in a good relationship he would know.
No, but it’s plain trashy not to.
her body, her choice, so no
obviously she had her reasons.. in reality I would think most women should though.
omg…..do you have to ask your husband to go potty too? its her body…7 kids….by the time she gets done w/ this one he should thank her. i think we are individuals married or not. unless you live like in Kuwait…this is America and we have rights…..our body plain and simple.
No, it’s the womans body. BUT We should all hope the marriage has enough communication for her to be open about it.
no, it’s her body. if he doesn’t like her for her choice about it then he’s a jerk she shouldn’t be with anyway.
No, but the woman should have the decency to tell her husband she is having it done. His opinion really shouldn’t matter that much and she certainly shouldn’t need his consent.
That’s more of a personal issue that requires personal thought. No rules or laws required. She is a grown woman, and it’s her body. Her decision alone. No need to tell the husband at all but she should at least be aware of any consuequences from not telling him.
of course she shouldnt have to
but i def. think she should
alex was def. right for the most part tonight
It’s her body
To me, that’s equal to requiring a woman to tell the father of her baby that she’s getting an abortion. It’s not necessary to discuss such things with the father of the baby, but it’s courteous – I can’t think of a better word right now. It’s her body and her decision.
Yes I think she should tell her husband before hand.
I think as a married couple raising a family is pretty important and if the husband expect to have children or more children and discover that its not an option anymore that just not fair for him. But there are always exceptions such as they have more baby than they can handle then yah she should be able to tie her tubes without consent from the husband.
I think she should just divorce the insensitive bastard who keeps knocking her up even though she doesn’t want any more children.
You can bet that HE ain’t the one walking the floor with the little pukers at 4 am or changing the dirty diapers or doing all that laundry.
Her body, her decision.
A decent marriage would make it something that you would discuss together as a couple, but it looks to me like he wanted a baby maker/sex slave. So she should just divorce him. Or suffocate him as he sleeps. That would be good too.
I think that a spouse should be told before the other spouse is permanently sterilized. This exact situation happened to my brother. His wife had her tubes tied without telling him. She already had two children from her first marriage and my brother had no biological children. He was devastated.
i guess he should at least be notified
I think that the husband should know, but i think she should be able to have the operation without telling him first.
If the wife is afraid to tell him she wants to do that, it seems like their relationship would be in trouble. I cant imagine staying married to a person that could not understand her wanting this. If a requirement would be made who would make and enforce it?
not a requirement, but i think it would be better for the marriage if she did
yes. that’s a major decision that a couple should make. I’d want my husband to confide in me before he makes a decision.
is it the guy that has to carry the thing inside of himself?
didn’t think so.
he doesn’t have to know then.
it’s her choice.
Hmm, I dunno. While it’s not very nice to keep something like that a secret, if the mother doesn’t want to have kids anymore, and her husand doesn’t want her to use birth control, she shouldn’t have to get his permission. On the other hand, you probably shouldn’t be married to someone that you have to keep secrets from anyway, and I highly dounbt you’d want to sleep with them…
Ah, if only life were simple…
I don’t see why it should be mandatory. Ideally, the woman would choose to tell him on her own.
NO….that is between her and her husband. It is not the hospital’s or the doctor’s business to tell anyone. Nobody knows what is going on in that house…and if she doesn’t want to have babies…then she doesn’t have to have babies.
I love Grey’s Anatomy so much.
I don’t think it should be.
But this was an extreme case… she had 6 kids already, and she was exhausted.
It would be nice for the husband to know, but I’m sure she would have told him eventually in her own way.
If I were to marry a guy, it wouldn’t matter to me if he got a vasectomy. It’s his decision, his body.
Yes, it should, if they want a healthy relationship, you shouldn’t have to hide anything.
<3
Her body her choice! It should never be up to a man whether or not a women gets something to done to her own body.
I think the husband should know but if she already has six kids then who cares??? Anyway, that is something that should be discussed. My husband brought the subject up and he basically told me that he wanted a vasectomy after 2-3 kids whether I liked it or not lol. Fine with me!!
NOPE.
Grey’s Anatomy=THE BEST
If a woman is going to put an end to one of the main reasons people settle down, having children, than she should have to discuss this with her husband and get his “okay”. That sounds like family planning to me. And the husband IS one of the foundations to the family. Just as she is. It’s as much his decision as it is hers.
To make it simple: If she shouldn’t have to tell him that she wants to get her tubes tied, than he shouldn’t have to tell her that he wants to have kids with other women.
Peace.
In a marriage that’s like what I think marriage should be, it would be something both partners decide together. If the husband is an abusive jerk who doesn’t care about how she feels, then she should get it done without telling him. And then divorce him.
Yes, she should tell her hubby beforehand. It should be a joint decision.
Absolutely not, but a wife who does not tell her husband she is getting fixed… what kind of marraige is that?
Well, it is her decision. However, for a family to run smoothly, decisions like this should be discussed beforehand. I know I’d be mortified if, when I got married, my wife did that without at least telling me, and I know I’d want to talk about it beforehand. As for whether or not it should be a requirement, I think the doctor should strongly urge discussing it with the husband beforehand.
of course not! what a ridiculous question. i’m not even gonna bother to read through all the comments this time, ‘cuz there is no justifiable reason why it should be a requirement. her tubes, her business.
“To make it simple: If she shouldn’t have to tell him that she wants to get her tubes tied, than he shouldn’t have to tell her that he wants to have kids with other women.” <—that logic (and i use the term loosely) doesn’t make sense. better luck next time.
No. It would be courteous, but no.
After SEVEN children, heck yeah it should her decision – even after one child. I think the husband should at least be informed but the final decision should rest with her. And I hold the same view with a vascectomy – that should be the man’s choice but the wife should know about that as well.
Someone here mentioned that the man should not be allowed to have one without telling his wife but seems to defend the wife’s right not to hell the husband about her tubes being tied. Ummmm, what is the difference really? Just because she is the one giving birth? Either way it’s still a deception if the man doesn’t tell about his or the woman doesn’t tell about hers.
In Tx i had to have my husbands concent! I kind you not.. I went off on the dr it is my body my choices not his.. no she shouldn’t have to tell him… but a good maraige there would be conversation.
A person should be able to have medical attention without the consent of the spouse. I am not going to say it is necessarily a good thing for the marriage or the way I would want to be treated, but the wife should have that option.
she should defiantly consult with him, as it is such a lifechanging decision and she might not be thinking clearly,
but ultimatly its her body, and the decision is hers.
I have 5 children and my husband didn’t want me to tie my tubes but my doctor talked him into it….the best thing I did…
she should tell, but she shouldn’t have to because he’s not the one going through everything!
I believe if you have a good relationship with open lines of communication, it shouldn’t be an issue either way, but ultimately it’s the patient’s decision.
No.
No requirement.
But it would probably be best that the husband knew.
No.
But shouldn’t the wife at least TELL her husband she is? I’d think you’d be able to talk about it in any relationship worth keeping.
If a woman is going to put an end to one of the main reasons people settle down, having children, than she should have to discuss this with her husband and get his “okay”. That sounds like family planning to me. And the husband IS one of the foundations to the family. Just as she is. It’s as much his decision as it is hers. To make it simple: If she shouldn’t have to tell him that she wants to get her tubes tied, than he shouldn’t have to tell her that he wants to have kids with other women. Peace.
Posted 5/1/2006 at 1:09 AM by Junipoo
You speak like one who would have us all take the veil and walk three paces behind you.
Did you not see the part where she already HAS six kids by this asshole?
How many freaking kids do you think it takes to make one “:settle down.”
I suggest you do not marry or spawn.
You are obviously not quite ready to grant the female sex the right to be fully human.
In a healthy marriage yes.
Yes!
No, not the guy’s business I don’t think.
She doesn’t have to tell him because ultimately it’s her body, but if the relationship is ‘healthy’ there shouldn’t be a reason she shouldn’t discuss it with him beforehand. Sounds like something unhealthy was going on in this relationship that she felt she didn’t want him to know.
no
yea. its bad to keep a secret from someone you love.
!~nicole~!
It should not be a legal requirement, but it’s something a wife should share with her husband of her own free will.
no! And I wanted to kill that jerk Alex
No, she should not have to tell. Whether she should tell or not is a moral/ethical question and is highly dependent on many things. (I don’t watch Grey’s, so I don’t know what the circumstance was between them). Also reverse it, what would be the requirements for vasectomy for a man?
Not a requirement, but it would be nice if the wife gave him the heads up
No, but I think it is only right if she tells him.
he SHOULD know, she should tell him, but it shouldn’t be required.
I think she should let him know about it, but it shouldn’t be required or pressured upon her if she doesn’t want to. It’s HER body.
no. they’re her tubes. she should talk to him, but she shouldn’t have to talk to him
It’s something that they should talk about together beforehand, but it shouldn’t be required.
no. that is an issue between a husband and wife. if there is a disconnect between the couple in which a wife wouldn’t tell her husband something like that, that’s an issue the couple has to deal with. the doctor shouldn’t get involved.
Dan, everyone is missing the point here…
People who watched the show saw it explained why the woman couldn’t tell her husband. I think you should post an edit explaining why the woman said she couldn’t tell her husband. You’re letting all of these people make stupid, uninformed judgments… Sure, it’s only a TV show, but our attitudes about the characters on TV are often carried over to the people we see in everyday life.
No. It’s legal in this country that she can get an abortion without consent…
The military does require spousal consent before a tubal or vasectomy is performed. I don’t think consent should be mandatory, it is after all ones body and how and what you choose to do with that body is your own private Idaho. However…one of the major foundations of a marriage is honesty. In the spirit of that word (I saw this episode) I do believe that in this case this woman was manipulating the system and using religion as an excuse to not talk to her husband about the subject. This is definitely a topic that needs to be discussed between husband and wife. If you can not set down with your spouse and have an adult conversation about a very important topic, to create or not to create, then there is some serious dysfunction in that marriage and perhaps counseling should be involved.
Consent…no. Talking…yes. Mandatory…I have to say no.
Can anyone name a medical procedure that a man would be forced to tell his wife about?
I think if they have a good relationship it would be a decision that they make together and the husband is informed. Should a husband HAVE to know if the wife is going to get her tubes tied? No – not at all. While it might not be best for the marriage – it’s her body.
I think that the woman should tell her husband. But, as far as a requirement, no. What i the husband is abusive and tries to kill the woman just for the thought of getting it done?
I don’t think it should be a “requirement”. They’re her tubes and reproductive system. He doesn’t own them. Having said that, however, if they have a healthy relationship she should at least inform him or discuss it with him. Allow him to have some verbal input into what is ultimately her decision.
Unfortunately, there are men who feel entitled to control everything having to do with their wives lives. And often this control is without consideration for the welfare of the woman. Six kids is more than enough, and depending upon their income, borders upon being irresponsible.
I say the choice is hers.
i think that she should tell her husband…and make sure to remind him that it is her decision to make since her body is the one that is going to go under the knife…but SEVEN??? damn…I can’t even think about having one kid!!!
yes … and no
Yes…they’re married and it’s takes two to make a child.
They should talk about it beforehand. Ultimately it is her body to do with as she pleases but the husband should at least know that there will be no pitter patter of his little progeny ever again.
First of all, who in their right mind would want to have 7 freakin kids???? He would have to be a millionare,treat me like a princess and hire a nanny to help me before I would have had more than 2!! Why would you want to bring that many kids into your household if you and your husband dont have any open communication between the two of you?
RYC above – is Pam ok with this? I don’t see her as a Mexican, but as a beautiful, intelligent, loving, caring, young woman. Today’s protesting is about illegal immigration and doesn’t directly apply to Pam. She’s your only reader of hispanic descent? C’mon Dan, you’re smarter than that. Please don’t turn a sweet young woman into a token for packing plant workers and hotel maids.
No, it shouldn’t be a requirement. It’s not his body. Incidentally, a man doesn’t need his wife’s permission to have a vasectomy. Why should there be a double standard?
It would be nice if we lived in the kind of world where every husband and wife have a great relationship where they can share anything they want with each other. Relationships should not be legislated by the government.
Who am I to sit in judgement?
L,r
Is it his body? No! And seven kids…The guy has control problems or something to keep his wife busy or something.
I think he should know….I DON’T think it’s the doctors place to tell him. BUT, I don’t think the husband should be able to keep her from having it done….a man has NO clue what that does to a woman’s body, physically and emotionally. I saw that show tonight too and that other doctor made me mad for telling him to get a lawyer! GRRR!!! lol
The husband doesn’t have to know, although it would be a good thing.
no.. it shouldn’t be required… but why wouldn’t you tell?
Nope. The doctor should have tied up the husbands tubes instead.
No but I DEFINITELY don’t agree with her pawning off the problem on the doctor that did her a favor! I could just SCREAM!!!
Most marriages SHOULD be where the woman could make the decision with her husband informed. Unfortunately not all are and it is absolutely the woman’s choice, especially in a case like the one depicted on the program.
What about our protected health information? A doctor can’t discuss anything about any of his or her patients with anyone without the patient’s express written consent. So now we want to have an exception so that a doctor can go to a patient’s wife and say, “is it ok with you if we do this?” Sorry, it doesn’t work that way.
I think people should consider that marriage may not be permanent. The ability to give life is a precious gift that need not end until it is necessary for survival.
my boyfriend and i totally disagreed about this while we were watching the show. on the one hand, i see his point: she would have told him about not being able to have children if it had been the case before they married or it might have constitiuted fraud.
does it at this point now, after 7 babies and an apparently rough time of it? my reaction was to hate alex for telling the husband. the patient, however, doesn’t seem to understand that she can’t have it both ways: she married a man who values his religion above her well-being, and although i cheered on dr. shepherd for taking the risk, this patient wants other people to take risks for her when she is not willing to take any for herself.
humanism before femanism, always. i just hope dr. shepherd doesn’t lose her career… she’s one of my favorite characters!
The patient should have the final say in both having the procedure and who knows that she is having it. That being said, I don’t understand why a woman would want to keep something that important a secret from her husband.
no.
Honestly, in her case, no. I think that she was trying to protect her husband and herself. Her husband needed to not know…she needed to do it. Honestly, it would’ve been better for her to pray over it and come to her husband with her need…but she didn’t feel she could do that.
Andrea Yates felt she couldn’t have more children because of the severe PPD she experienced. Yet, her husband ignored her need and she continued to get pregnant. She finally snapped. She shouldn’t have had more children until her mental health was under control. She needed her husband to stand strong with her.
Yes, it should be a decision that you both make together. However, what kind of man would require a woman to keep having more children………especially after seven?!! Maybe she should have him tied up!!! God knows HE wouldn’t have that many if it were his body!
I watched that episode last night. Its my favorite series.
Anyway, to the question at hand. I think that a doctor should not have to inform the husband if the woman wants to have her tubes tied. It should be entirely up to the wife to let him know. However, if he is paying for the time spent in the hospital, then he should know about it beforehand. But if she offers to pay for it out of her own pocket, the doctors should not have an obligation to make sure the husband knows about it.
No. It’s probably best for everyone if he does know, but I tend to view the world on a case by case basis, and I’m sure that there would be a case in which the woman would be justified in not telling her husband.
I’m a bit late on this one…..
I don’t think the husband/man has to be informed prior to the procedure. It is the responsibility of the woman/wife to inform him. It is her body=her choice.(I know I might get some slack for that & people may relate it to abortion, but the topic is not abortion) A similar episode to Grey’s Anatomy was written for House. It is not the responsibility of the doctor to make the decision whether or not to inform the man/husband.
It would be a violation of the HIPPA law.
and the ‘her body’ argument for Christians is idiotic…the Bible states that ‘the two become one flesh.’ so if a Christian makes that argument, they have more problems than just being dishonest with their spouse.
Of course not. She can, and should tell him, but it is her body and her decision.
um yeah
I think she should tell her husband. The least she can do is discuss the operation with her husband, that way the husband doesn’t feel un-trustworthy..*making serious face*
Which episode is that??? Damn why can’t I have a faster connection in China….*make angry face*
Ohhh another one.. even though she tells her husband, the decision to take the operation is still up to her.. in my opinion the husband doesn’t have anysay in deciding the operation.
i think it would be an organizational nightmare for doctors if it were required by law or whatever. definitely the husband show know and be in agreement, but that all should be what comes from a healthy marriage, not the law. if my husband were to get a vasectamy (sp?) without telling me, i’d be pissed. but, he shouldn’t be put in jail for it. he should just get a good talking to from an upset wife! hehe
Well no because there could be different situations involved there. But, I feel the wife is obligated to let her husband know.
I dont think it should be required at all, chances are if they have the relationship where she couldn’t tell her husband something as intimate as that then they don’t need to be making any more babies
no.
No. I mean it would probably be better to tell him, but it shouldn’t be required by law… that’s kind of unneccesarily invasive.
I cannot imagine not discussing it with my husband .. I saw the episode and it left me torn with compassion for the wife’s point of view and the husbands .. I felt sorry for the husband … I know there are people out there that have those religious convictions about birth control … but then on the other hand, being a mother of three, Charlie had his “tubes tied” after the third one because we are getting on up in age and just did not want anymore …
I just really believe it has to be a mutual decision between husband and wife … when you get married, you become one with each other … that’s the way it’s supposed to be anyway …
How are you BTW!
No, but it’s still a pretty dirty thing to do.
I have 5 children. I got my tubes tied. My husband was not willing to do anything and I knew I was maxed out. He wanted to make sure I wouldn’t want more children and resent not being able to have them. I said the only thing I would resent is if I WERE to get pregnant. I think the show did a good job in showing the conflict the woman faced with being married to a man that believes birth control is up to God. If I were in the same situation, I’d do it secretively too….women need to take responsibility for their well being and not let anyone (even the husband) control it.
she should tell her husband, but no one can force her. nor should they.
in my state a woman can not have her tubes tied if she is married without her husbands consent, but a man can have a vasectomy without his wife’s approval. WTF?
no, its her body. she doesnt have to have his consent for an abortion.
Should a husband be required to tell his wife if he gets a vasectomy?
I think that the husband doesn’t have to be informed but it should be strongly advised.
It shouldn’t be REQUIRED but it would be nice if she told him but if the guy was putting her health at risk by making her have kids back to back or just carrying a child and not giving a damn about it, NO she shouldn’t have to tell him.
Now what if a guy was having a vesectomy? Everyone would be like, “No he shouldn’t have to tell his wife” and all this B.S. When men start having babies, then someone can ask me that with a serious face.
No, she can get her tubes tied if she wants to. It’s her body. She’s not her husband’s baby making machine.
absolutely not!!!!! What a human being does with their body is their right. However, the physician does have the right to refuse or even require councelling first.
Note: In the episode the doctor does as wished and winds up getting sued….what does that say? do a nice thing, get screwed???
Scripture tells us that the husband’s body belongs to the wife and the wife’s body belongs to the husband. Any true marriage is one where each persons wants and desires are discussed openly. How decisions are reached depends upon whether a husband is truly loving his wife the way God intended, and whether the wife is respecting her husband the way God intended. If they are, then the answers will come easily. It all comes down to love and respect. (see Ephesians 5:21-33)
No. But in a good relationship, he should know anyway.
idk.
it’s hard because it makes it seem like we are telling them to have a decision which seems a tad wierd but it’s unfair for the husband:he wants kids so he marry’s someone who does too, his wife does this and he wants a divorce when this could’ve been resolved. plus divorces are a big mess.
did the wife go thru with it? i never saw that episode.
Absoutley NOT–It is her body, but hey, I would never be married to someone who would not TRUST me to make my own decisions, or someone who I could not talk to, —or someone who woud want 7 chidren anyway. Talk about a control FREAK.
Renee
All the xtians who say the wife’s body belongs to her husband and the two are one–what about him having some fucking respect for HER and not making her go through one unwanted pregnancy after another?
Remember that case down in TEXASS where the wife had such terrible post-partum depression and old husbandie wouldn’t climb off her ass and stop impregnating her? She fucking DROWNED all her kids.
That’s what kind of shit happens when you push someone past their limits.
i watched the same thing.
i don’t think she has to.
i mean i know that the man might think so. but all in all the woman is the one having the child so she should be able to decide how many times she wants to go through child birth.
So i don’t think that it should be illegal to get that surgery and not tell your partner.
<234
no
If she doesn’t want her husband to know she doesn’t want more kids, the problem is not in the tubes…knowhatI’msayin’?
If it’s not a requirement for an underage girl to have an abortion, why should it be a requirement for a woman to get approval from her husband for that? Sorry. Ahem.
Normally I would say a couple should agree on such an issue, but if he’s gotten her pregnant seven times and not willing to use birth control it is her body and a woman can only take so much. Bastard.
wow. i think that’s a pretty outdated stance. if she doesn’t want to bear any more children, she shouldn’t have to. i haven’t seen the episode, but if it’s an overbearing, controlling husband, maybe she wouldn’t want him to know because he wouldn’t let her.
if she feels as though she can’t trust her husband with this information, maybe they shouldn’t be having any more kids anyways because their marriage obviously needs to be repaired.
she should discuss it with him with the same respect he must have given her request to use birth control before…
no way, it’s her body. 300+ comments, are you KIDDING ME? wow. Comment envy…..
It’s the woman’s body. I know that if it were me, I would tell my husband that I didn’t want any more children and that I’ve made a decision not to have any more. And if he truly loved and care about me and my children, he would stand by my decision.
If the guy has a problem with that, let him give birth from now on…
Another thing that came up was that the woman (from the show) was afraid to tell her husband b/c she was afraid that he would leave her. Bullshit.
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Monday, May 01, 2006
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Hey wat up my peeps!!!!!!!!!if u comment me i might not cmb bcuz my computer is broke(permanately) but my best man caleb will probably comment u bak 4 me!!WEll i got 2 go my bud is here and he wants 2 go 2 a retarded game site instead of xanga!
peace out,
***Bames***
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Public – 6:26 PM – 6 eprops – 4 comments – edit it – email it
Sunday, April 23, 2006
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Ok well this is Caleb on Brandons site and its late
salutes to you-caleb
peace out my buds-caleb
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Public – 1:53 AM – 16 eprops – 12 comments – edit it – email it
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
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<TD vAlign=top>LOL!!!!!!!I messed up this guys pic really good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!u can see the original version @ codylikeshats_12 or u can see what my friend did @ ska_lover!!!LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Public – 8:04 AM – 10 eprops – 12 comments – edit it – email it
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
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POLL
POLL : SHOULD I CHANGE MY ICON?
o-YES
o-NO
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Public – 8:03 PM – 4 eprops – 2 comments – edit it – email it
Saturday, April 15, 2006
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WHAT WOULD U DO IF
1.I died
2.said i liked u
3.asked u out
4.took drugs
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Public – 3:30 PM – 16 eprops – 21 comments – edit it – email it
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<TD vAlign=top align=middle>xanga – your site – terms of use – privacy – jobs – help
no and BTW this is random propz back anyone hu reads this ..
No. It’s a woman’s choice what she does with her body, and it’s a shame that she had to have the procedure without her husband knowing. Guys like that anger me.
In a perfect world-the woman would WANT to tell her husband about it.
By today’s standards, no way man. It’s like my body, and I’ll like do what I want and like my husband doesn’t even have to know.
Ok, a bit of an exaggeration… but ultimately it is the woman’s choice. She isn’t physically harming anybody or doing anything illegal. But if I was a guy I’d want to know.
Your site is highly entertaining. Expect more visits from me.
husband should know
kelly
p.s. he might want more kids…you knewver know….
never*
i think the husband should know. that is what marriage is all about no? they should trust each other and make compromises.
Here in South Africa many women have their tubes tied secretly when they have their babies. Culturally once a woman stops having babies it is acceted that a man will take on another ‘wife’. Woman do this to protect themselves from AIDS. The feminist movement has not come to South Africa yet and most woman have no right to ask their husbands who they are sleeping with. It is common practise for men to have a wife at home in the rural area as well as a town wife as many men are migrant workers. The only way to protect yourself is then to stop having babies. You still have all the respect and financial support of being a wife but you no longer have the fear of AIDS.
An ethical dillema. We live in a Nation of individual freedom. Our technology has in the past and continues to rapidly surpass our ethical progress. It is noteworthy that when a man and a woman marry, they become as one person. This is a spiritual reality but outside of the realm of physical appearance. The woman IS required to consult her husband before she acts to bar reproduction. Because he is one with her and as much her as she is. The laws of man are a guide to minimally acceptable behavior. The Noble man or woman rises above the law to act in a manner which is greater, more moral than the law. Such a woman would be an amazing woman, though, to have been blessed with seven (7) children. Such a woman would have great worth in the eyes of God.
I don’t agree with diamondintherough22, and I think that comments like that show the double standard that women in this country have. We always tout fairness and equality, but we don’t REALLY act like we want to be equal. I want equal pay (yeah, I agree), I want equal rights (yep, still with ya) but I also want more rights than the guy.
The man may not be carrying the child, but he damn sure will be paying for it for the rest of his life. That’s unfair. And we can’t excuse it as life, cuz then men could have used that argument when we women said, “Hey, you don’t pay us as much as the guys.” They could have just said, “yah, double standard i know, but life isn’t fair.”
If we women want equality, if we want to be treated with equal value, we need to be fair and stop demanding more than what we are willing to give ourselves. To say a man should give his wife a child that he doesn’t want because she wants it and he doesn’t have to carry it, so he shouldn’t have as much of a say as her is appalling. AND I’M A WOMAN, imagine how appalling it must be to a man. I think our society is becoming more and more like the 50s in reverse. Now we women are becoming the dictators of the home, and the man becomes the one with less rights.
I agree with Eight Ball also, if a woman doesn’t want her husband knowing that she’s tying her tubes, the problem ain’t in the tubes. She needs to take responsibility for herself and her body and tell him no. It’s not like we live in a time where a woman can’t leave or is forced by society to obey her husband. If she is so scared of him that she wants something done in secret, SHE has a problem just as much as he does. A woman should take responsibility and stand up for herself, not expect the law and society to do it for her. That’s weak.
no. 7 is too damn many as it is.
I also watched that episode. It’s a woman’s body and it should be her choice, but you should talk to your spouse before proceding with that type of sugery. You should come to a happy-medium and either go along with the sugery or go on birth control.
It doesn’t seem like it needs to be a law…but any responsible wife would know to discuss that sort of thing with her husband before-hand. And if he doesn’t want her to do it, she shouldn’t.
She should have total say in what she does, but tell him about it after. 7 kids is plenty to support and raise…..Wow! I can’t even imagine.
yes
> No, the couple should have a good enough relatonship that they not keep necessary information from one another.
Peace
Just a thought…maybe there should be a written document saying that they both consent to the surgery. These decisions should be made together and the husband should have a say in the process, but It should be mutual consent.