May 19, 2006
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Bargains
I asked Laura to write an article for my site. Momofjenmatt is one of the funniest sites on xanga. Here is her post:
Sometimes I make bargains with God. For example if I am late for work
and there is a train, I might say ” Please God if you make this a quick
train I will be on time for work from now on.” Of course, I am late next
week. Sometimes I ask God to give me signs like if the light turns
green in two minutes that means I am supposed to return the pants I can’t
afford. But I don’t return the pants, I just tell myself that wasn’t a
real sign and ask for another one until I get the sign I want.
Do you ever make bargains with God?
Comments (134)
used to
and i’ve never been first before- wow
yeah…..could be a coincidence
2nd? wow
no
I don’t think so, but I’m not sure.
all the time, and I try really hard to follow through.
only in extreme cases when i feel utterly desperate or hopeless. not bargains though, i’d say they were more pleas and i have only done it probably 3 times all about the same thing.
used to- I think everyone does at one point… it makes people feel like they have a little more control
not usually…
first page…lol
Kelly
All the time.
Sometimes when I’m doing something I’m not (which is too complex to explain) I say I’ll never do it, Please forgive me God and it will never happen again”, but I blow it off in like 2 days or sooner. Yea, bad, I know.
Everyone does, but that doesn’t make it good.
-Josh
sometimes
I love Laura:) You are right…she is too funny:)
And yes, I do those exact silly things too:)
only when I can’t find my keys or cell phone and I have to leave right then lol
Heidi
Hven’t done that in a long time… I dont’ want to make a promise and then have it bite me in the ass later, heh. And yea, momofjenmatt is funny as hell, I laugh all the time when I read her xanga.
No. Sometimes I make bargains with a hit man, but that probably has nothing to do with what you’re talking about.
No, but Dan commented on my site.
hehh. i do this all the time
“PLEASE GODD. if you fix my laptop, i promise i won’t ever eat or drink while i’m on the laptop!”
next day?
drinking & eating at the laptop.
Just once, He traded His perfect life for my sin-broken one.
Yes, but then I usually end up hitting myself in the head…
I love Laura, too. I was never good at bargaining…..and I don’t think it would fool God much.
sometiimes : )
The old ”If only” Trick, eh Max?
Get Smart! *S*
I used to. Well, I used to do it a lot more. I try not to do it any more, because I think it’s insulting to God. But perhaps I’m just better at fooling myself into thinking I’m not trying to test Him.
Not anymore.
It is not that I am bargaining, it is more like I am bringing to God’s attention my desire for help and that I am willing to receive any miracles or blessings or guidance that is in his design to grant me.
Nah.
But, Dan, how do you decide who you should grace with your blogspace?…
eh, not really bargins, ill be like please let this thing fo by fast, or whatever. im nto really like “and ill do this” though
haha. No, but i’m in the habit of asking god to strike various people down.
not really, but in the same way I do make bargains with myself.
A long lost hobby, that outgrew it’s welcome!
gah! I plead the fifth
RYC: I don’t know why people are always staring at me. I’m not talking casual glances, I mean STARING. Like I had a third nostril. It makes me feel angry and self-consious at the same time.
I make bargains with God every day. They never work out… But I still make them.
Not really. Well, sometimes I guess. Maybe.
Hey, for once I’m in the top 40! (I think.)
Yes, like “Please grant me just this one tiny thing (i.e. let me just find something I lost) and I will never ask again for the week/day/whatever I feel like.” Pretty lame, cheap, and selfish. The strange thing is that often trickles into videogames, and it proves to be rather effective I must say.
Hey!! You were commenting on my site, while I was commenting on your’s!
No bargaining with god, but I do bargain with my hub for a back rub
all the time! well, not as much as i used to. i kind of stopped because i figured out that God always wins. He generally fulfills His end of the bargain, and i never do. for example, i pray “God, if you’ll help me to ace this test, i’ll tell everybody that it was You who helped me to do it.” and i ace the test. and i don’t tell anybody that God helped me out.
ryc: thank you…i agree, and i was wondering about the fact that you never comment any more (now was a good time to restart, thanks, lol) esp. since i’m your biggest fan (started the club, at any rate).
still <3 you !!!
No, nothing I can do would make God’s decision any different, so what’s the point. I ask for things and then I know He’ll come through with whatever’s best for me.
-Jared
Yes and I get the short end of the stick, at least for now. I’ll keep you posted on how it turns out.
Ryc: Yes, I did.
Haha no, but what a cool concept!
Do you ever make deals with the devil??
yes. i used to do it more than i do now.
but i feel like i’ll start looking for things that aren’t there and paying attention to the wrong things. looking for the signs i want, instead of what He wants.
hahah i used to.
It’s seems that my earliest ideas as a child of understanding God’s character are in the end the most true. I’ve come almost full circle back to a child-like view, which is indeed more ‘adult’ than most religious people – I think. Maybe when we enter into this world so fresh from the womb of our mothers and creation’s womb, we are more akin to the spiritual world than the world of flesh and blood. Maybe something deep in us in that youth senses the character of God more clearly than ever again. We leave the nest, the chord stretches as we travel through time further away from the soul-factory. When sensing/looking back we sense/see that we really saw better then. And, that sight is a remembrance. It was uncluttered by the journey of life.
It may seem a little sad if you think God is Santa Clause. You see, you can’t make deals with God. It won’t work. If you grasp that, then you can fully appreciate freewill and all the complications it births. One result is suffering. How can you reconcile Santa Clause with suffering? How can you reconcile a good God with the suffering of good innocent people? Usually to understand this I just think about the mystery of God and I think of the level God is on and the level I’m on and it resolves the matter – for a time.
But, I asked myself, “Why shouldn’t good people suffer?” We often ask “Why do the bad people seem to prosper?” Why not turn it around and think about it? Should a pious person be able to walk among the contagious without getting sick? Should a pious person be exposed to the laws of nature and be unaffected? What about those to keep all of laws of Moses and Christ and still fall victim to the most horrendous deaths and misfortunes?
Many religious folks believe that keeping the Ten Commandments or praying everyday should shield them from all suffering. This is bargaining with God. I know people like this. I’ve been one myself from time to time. You may be this kind of person. I suffer the slings and arrows of misfortune whether I perceive myself to be walking with God or not. But, most religious, IMHO, think they should be able to side step all the calamities suffered by the less faithful, or pious. They believe they can make a deal with God. ”God I will do this as long as you do that.” In other words we try to control God.
If true, it sheds light on the problem of unjust suffering. It can be a fatal blow to belief in God, or one’s faith. For many religious people this is proof God has reneged on a deal they had.
I don’t want to accuse all religious people of having a fairytale version of God, but, I think a lot of religious people are religious specifically for this perceived deal between them and God. They want protection from life’s suffering. So, on bended knee they ‘pray’ but it’s really begging and deal-making. Treating God like Santa Clause. “You keep me safe, I’ll be religious.”
However, as with when I was a very young child, I’ve come back to believe there is no connection between my spirituality (how good I am) and God’s granting me anything in this world. I think that religious practice is supposed to affect my behavior; not God’s. If you or I live a religious life, it should be to make us better humans and bring us closer to God, to add a depth of spirituality to our lives and help make a just society. These things are rewards. If you learn a new language your reward is that experience you get speaking to others in that language. The reward of fidelity is fidelity.
Christianity believes God will reward you for good – but that’s in the afterlife as far as I’m concerned. Isn’t it a bit nutty to think God would reward you for doing what you’re supposed to do? “My son, you didn’t rob a bank today. Here’s a the winning lotto numbers. Go forth and prosper.” If strictly observing the Ten Commandments led to a life of no suffering and lotto tickets people would have figured this out a long time ago. We’d all be bible thumpers. Who doesn’t want to be protected from heart disease and cancer?
The converse is true if we get immediately rewarded for doing what we’re supposed to do. If this is true then all suffering is punishment from God. You don’t know how many times I saw this cruelty played out in the charismatic movement as a young adult. “God will remove the tumor if you have enough faith.”
Such thinking is cruel. Instead of offering compassion to the suffering it implies they somehow deserve brain cancer. They earned it. This depicts God as vindictive. “Brother Bob didn’t go to church on Sunday nights on account of the late football games so God gave him a tumor.”
Religious observance can’t protect you from the world. It can make you a better person. But, if you expect reward for your religiosity, I bet you really don’t want to be as religious as you are. If you are truly happy observing religious practices then you wouldn’t be concerned with rewards and protection. Thus you are forcing yourself to be religious like it’s a health and life insurance policies. It could quite possibly be the reason for so much fear and uncertainty. Because you know in your knower this doesn’t work and your present level of anger and fear is tied to a type of God that you’re not sure is vindictive or a Santa Clause. God is neither of these. But, you try to reconciled the un reconcilable to avoid condemnation.
I hardly do
no.
About 30 years ago, being Jewish, I asked God to show me what he wanted me to do, and I would do it. He started showing me that Jesus died for my sins and that He wanted me to believe so He could forgive me. And I chose to believe and accept the forgiveness of my sins.
Larry
No
I used to.
Back when I thought he existed.
And was just too busy to hold up his end of the bargain.
I do. And i try to fulfill what i bargained for, sine he did his part. Its feels nice to know that he could be listening to you enough to grant you this little something. It might be coincidence, but your faith might say otherwise.
usually when I’m sick… doesn’t work…
Once in a long, long time. Which is weird, cause I don’t beleive 99% of the time. I guess it’s just because of how I was raised and the thought that there is a chance that there is a god.
ha ha … yeah but I don’t think he is in the bargaining game!
I used to.
Then I realized that I valued my promises. I realized that my word is to be my bond, my “yes” is to be my “yes,” and my “no” is to only mean “no.”
But, I think most importantly, I realized that God doesn’t exactly work that way.
good idea.
hmm, i might try it one day.
i think that from time to time we i would love to say i didn’t but i do, but i’m working on it
I used to as well. If I do know I am not conscious of it. I am much more motivated to change things when they are screwed up than I used to be.
You know… he is a tough one to bargain with…so I pray instead of bargain..
no
i try not too. instead i thank him when things don’t go just how i plan. like if i’m running late, and i want to speed, but i get behind someone really slow and i can’t pass them. i thank God for sending them and saving me from the wreck i was probably going to have if i was going faster. everything is in God’s plan, it all happens for a reason.
bargains do no good. if you want to change your behavior, just change. don’t say you will and then not carry it out.
RYC: Maybe an “oh, she’s got a boog hangin’” kinda cute. lol
More like the way you’d stare at someone when something about them freaks you out. And I KNOW it’s not my imagination. All my family has seen it, my friends, my boyfriend. It’s bizarre.
i think everyone does…and i think everyone never keeps them either…lol
Don’t we all? Several people in the Bible do it too, and sometimes they realize that the “I’ll do anything part” was more than they bargained for.
wow I got a crappy time slot, just kidding ( I sware I am ) thanks for the plug, and I got some compliments from some friends I see, very nice.
You don’t read a lot of funny xangas, huh?
I don’t mean to be petty here, ( sure I do it’s 4:00am in the morning I’m crabby ) but I went to the above commenters site and it wasn’t that impressive either, so, to each his own buddy.
No, Goddess doesn’t do black-mail or bribery. She says it’s my choice if I wanna get up late and it’s my choice if I wanna be late in this world… or early in the next
I hate admitting it, but I do.
Maybe sometimes, but I try not to…
Not realy, I just talked to Him about stuff.
Never
Just came over to say ‘hi’! I’ve missed ya…haven’t been on much ’cause of work this weekend. But I’ll be back! I skimmed through the interview below and really enjoyed it
Have a great weekend Dan!
Nah. What would the point be? I’d just kill myself in the process. XD Prolly a horrible lighning strike, on the clearest day ever!
I used to, but generally it was something along the lines of “I will do something I should do anyway if you do this”. Such as: I will be on time for work or I will study hard for all future test…Not much of a bargin for God.
YES! I thought I was alone… I do try to deliver after though
nope i like to do things by myself.
lol yes all the time
I don’t so much make deals as I beg pathetically to get my way. Wow. Typing that kind of makes me realize how sad that is…
What sounded like a mostly not-so-serious question has brought out all these sad-sounding replies (like, “yes, but he didn’t keep up his part of the bargain” or “yes, but it didn’t work”). Here is another serious answer. Since January (a resolution I’ve mostly kept) I’ve asked (almost) every morning for God to give me a blessing that day. The trick is not forgetting as the day goes on that I “bargained” for asked for that and that I should be attentive as the day goes on in watching for it. And each day that I have done that, I have bought a scratch-off and won at least $20. Just kidding. Seriously, sometimes we actually have to think non-materialistically, though many of us are Americans raised in a free-enterprise system and that thinking can be unpatriotic. Back to the point. Every time at the end of the day that I recall my morning prayer for a blessing and look back over the day, some out-of-the-ordinary comfort or help or appreciated something or other that happended that day comes to mind. And it always makes me grateful. Often it’s something that never happened before. The trick is not forgetting in the fullness of the day’s activities that I started off the day asking for just one blessing.
Now the big question. Am I really getting the blessing I asked for, or am I preconditioning myself in the morning to single out something good that’s going to happen anyway and latching onto that good thing at night and calling it a blessing when it is really just some random good thing, the likes of which happen to everybody? I think that slowly I myself am sort of leaning toward the first answer–that it may actually really be a blessing from God and an answer to prayer–but I can see how many people would say the second answer.
I was just kidding, you know I’m not a comment/ eprop ho. Besides, I think a lot of people just don’t “get” me. Lucky for us, you do. Have a great day Dan.
I do but I know I shouldn’t. I know I can never keep my promises so I’m sure he takes taht into account..
Pesky
Everyone does at some point.
I wish I could say no. I don’t as much as I used to – its that better?
L,r
God and I, it seems, have a general agreement that he doesn’t mess with my life unless I’ve completely ruined an aspect of it, and I don’t mess with his .. God-ing. The types of bargains I make aren’t really “If you do this, I’ll never do that” .. I know I can’t /never/ do something again, and so it’s “I’ll try” instead. >_< I am the master of my own fate until I overmaster it and have to ask God for some serious help. And in return for that I help the people around me when they get into a serious jam and they can’t or won’t let God help them, since most teenagers who aren’t very very Christian or whatever their parents are are Wiccan or atheist. This arrangement also makes for very good karma..
No. God doesn’t make bargains. It’s disrespectful. You’re using him as a wishbone rather than a Savior.
[ariana]
Yeah, I made a pretty awesome bargain with God. He actually offered me perfection and immortality in exchange for a few dirty rags.
Other than that, no.
when I was younger….God, I will never sneak out again if you pleassssse help me not to get caught sneaking back in my window!!!
Not anymore. I learned my lessons well from that.
Why would I talk to nobody?
yeps
how can you
I have made bargains with God so He could just let me know He is there. Like with the video game thing. Marvelous things have happened while I played video games, and I knew it was God’s doing. Most of the things that happened were things the game was not programmed to do. I have been sick a lot and alone a lot, and God has been very good to me to do this thing.
Also, I told God that if He would heal my scalp, I would quit scratching it. Well, I quit scratching my scalp immediately. My scalp healed up. It was God Who healed it. Completely. I still don’t scratch my scalp, and I still thank God for healing it for me. I’m finally learning about how my destructive behavior keeps God from being able to bless me.
To answer Creed of Kings, I understand what you are saying. Faith activates the power of God, whereas desperation does not. Instead of counseling people to have more faith, a group of Christians should use their faith for the sick person. But I, too, have believed that I deserved to be sick, and noone who is saved deserves that. Health is part of the package of Redemption. Appropriating it is something else altogether, that’s why Christians encourage Christians.
I *do* but they’re pointless and I know it.
I used to, but I see where it’s gotten me. =)
*A*
Hasid -
Stopping scratching and bugging of the skin healed it. Not God.
I know, I know. You’ll come back here saying how foolish it is of me that I don’t believe that God did fucking everything and that this morning he helped you find your shoes, blah, blah, blah, but I digress. If you scratch something, it only irritates it. By stopping, it has a chance to breathe and heal.
I have tried a couple of times, yet I learned that it never turns out the way I wanted/expected. Therefore, I have stopped.
QUESTIONS!
ANSWER!
yes
not lately.
Yes I do, dammit.
> A person who smiles in the face of adversity…probably has a scapegoat. Yes, not that often, but oh yeah. I test him occasionally. And occaionally I get the answer I’m looking for. So it’s even steven. I may be wrong for it, but that is my cynical nature…. no apologies.
Peace
When I was very young I would make bargains, but now that I am older my theology has dramatically changed and I no longer do so.
“It is shameful how readily mortals cast blame on the gods. From us, they say, come all their sorrows, from us their misery, but they have no one to blame but themselves– Themselves and their own blind folly.” – Homer.
I did just a few days ago…
Occasionally
I don’t do the bargains thing exactly but I always say to myself things like: “if the clock turns to the next minute within 5 seconds, then such and such was meant to be”.
i remember begging god that if i didnt get a C on my report card in 7th grade, i would study harder.
and i got a b-!
i do. but then sometimes i wonder if hes even listening.
lol, yeah !! and it always turns out just like her personal bargaining experiences !! no worries, i think everyone does it.
i think the last time i tried to “bargin” w/ God was a life or death situation. i made a promise to never bargin again. that was 7 years ago. i did my part and He has done His.
My wife said that she does. The end.
God doesn’t exist.
Yes, usually when I lose something.
I always break the bargain on the pretense that God didn’t help me find my socks quickly enough, or that I did all the work.
Oh, and I had NO IDEA other people did that too. Maybe God’s getting used to broken deals?
Uh, no. Making bargains with God? C’mon – that is way out of anyone’s league. Besides, as you illustrated, we rarely can live up to those bargains.
Do you really care if I make a bargain with God? No one else cares if I do….
I don’t make bargains. EVER.
yes, but i try not to. and a green light doesnt count as a sign. if u ask for a sign, i would recommend askign for something that won’t happen under normal circumstances.
rotfl i used to do the exact same thing. for a while, i was sure if it was ok with God to eat ham/pig, (which i really like) so i would say, “ok God, if the next person who walks by is female, then no ham.” and a little girl would walk by and I would think “ok, that was a girl, not a woman, so let’s try again…” etc etc. but now i eat it anyway i just loooove bacon.
When I was a child and didn’t know better I did. Not anymore though.
The thing about God is that he already knows you are not going to keep your side of the bargain.
I used to do it all the time, but I ended up breaking my promises too much. And.. didn’t much like the idea of God throwing a lightning bult at me or something, so I stopped.
i used to. now i just admit to what i want to have happen and ask for it. even if i know it’s a indiscrete, inappropriate, or downright wrong request. i figure that i should at least be honest with myself and God about what i really feel/want to do, and that way God doesn’t have to spend months getting me to admit what we both knew was my pigheadedness.
perhaps someday i will progress to the point where i always have the same mind as Christ. but until then, i can at least be honest with God and face my issues head on, with God’s help.
(and if you only keep me from getting flamed for my stances on capital punishment and abortion, i swear to you, God, that i will never be late for church again…)
most people aren’t sure of what they realy want in
life. I received this
letter from a friend on the computer, did what it
told me to, and within a
week, everything I had wished came true!! Here’s an
exact copy, this really
works!!!!
*************************************************************
1. To yourself, say the name of the only
guy or girl you wanna be with 3
times!
*************************************************************
2. Think of something you wanna accomplish
within the next week and say it to your self 6
times!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
3. If you had 1 wish what would it be? say it to
yourself 9 times!!!
———————————————————————–
4. Think of something that you want to happen
between you and that 1special person and say
it to your self 12 times!!!
——————————————————————–
5. Now, heres the hard part! Pick only 1 of these
wishes and as
you scroll down focus and
concentrate on it and think on nothing
else but that wish.
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
Now make one last &final wish about that one wish
that you picked.
After reading this, you have 1 hour to send it out to
15 people, and what
you wished for will come true within in one week!
u only get one chance!!!!! Now scroll down and think
of your
crush!!!
Keep going down
Keep going
Keep going
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you think of your crush? I hope so, that was
your last chance. Now pay very close attention this
important message!
Sorry but once read, must be sent. Yes, this is one
of those kinda chain
letters that everyone hates. This one has been going
since 1863 and if you
break this chain, you will pay!!!!!! Remember that
after hearing these
stories.
First Example:
Take Barbra Wallace.. She was a pretty lucky girl,
up till she got this same chain letter. She had a
crush on the same kid
since kindergarden. when she got this mail she didn’t
pay any attention to
it. She just thought, no big deal. And deleted it.
The next day her dad
got fired and her mom dies in a car crash. If she
would have sent the
letter none of that would have happened and her mom
would be alive.
Second Example:
Try Freddie D. Now Freddie D. was your average
nerd. Had glasses, was short and chubby, was in
gifted. All the signs of
your total dork. He also received this letter and
sent it to 51 people in
the hour. Now, like Barbra, he had a crush on a girl
since 3rd grade. The
next day after sending the chain the girl confessed
her love for him ever
since 3rd grade. Freddie D. finally had the courage
to ask her out, and of
course, she had been waiting to yes to that for
years. They grew up and
married each other to live happily forever.
Third Example:
Now if you couldn’t relate to the others, this’ll
get ya hooked. Listen to this. A kid named Jordan
Johnson was just
getting on AOL to check his mail. He was a quiet kid,
not that popular but
not a geek either. he was just normal. He saw he had
mail from his
friend. It was this exact letter. Now Jordan Johnsen
was a smart kid and
he knew what could happen if he didnt pass it on. He
simply pulled a few
friends from his buddy list and sent it along. The
next day, about that
same time, he got a phone call. It said he had won
the lottery! then his
dad came home and bought him a new bike! His mom
bought him Nintendo64 and
play station! His grandmother sent him a new
computer, and his best friend
gave him tickets to the concert he wanted to go to,
Kid Rock and Limp
Bizkit! Then he inherited a brand-new tv from his
aunt! He was goin’ wild!
the next day his secret crush asked him out, and they
have been going out
ever since.
Now, you heard the stories. I know which person i’d
rather
be, but thats up to you. I wouldn’t wanna end up like
Barbra but thats
only me. We all want what we cant have but now’s ur
chance to go out with
that special somebody ur waiting for. Take it or
leave it. If you send
this to-
1 person- you will lose all luck in ur love
life…..forever!!!!!
10 people- your crush will say they like you as a
friend……ONLY!!!!!
15 people- your crush will say they like you
20 people- your crush will ask you out!
25 people- your crush will kiss you!!
30 people – Your crush will have sex with you
35 people or more- All of the above!!
Don’t blow it, it’s ur chance to shine! Have
everything u wanted, and more! Now, complaining cus u
dont have any
friends. Well theres an answer 4 everything. It’s
simple, just go in a
chat room, pick some names and send away! but here’s
the catch…..you only
have one hour to send it after being read. Please
pass this to everyone
Yes…more times than I’d like to admit. Good post today.
I made a bargain with God that if i read this entry it would improve my intellect…i see i have lost.
I pleaded with Him for a place to stay that was safe, and He suggested I get a job. That was the answer! I am now employed in a part-time job, and I am starting at the supervisor position. Also, I am looking into another job opportunity, in my little hometown, coming up. Otherwise, I tell God to work through me, and use me in doing it. I command God to act on my belief that whatever I ask shall be given to me, with as few and simple words as possible, most often ending with, …”in the name of Jesus Christ!” I have many good deeds that I can do, just like magic, such as “Fix, fix, fix…” which can heal a broken bone, or fix a car. I can get somone, anyone, to stop smoking or stop doing drugs, etc., by having them chant the words with me or someone else, “I am delivered from tobacco,” (or replace that word with another vice to be rid of)”in the name of Jesus Christ!” ”Grow. row, grow,” or “Develop, in the name of Jesus Christ!” concerning a baby in my womb to grow well enough and develop well enough, before birth to become a normal baby. “Transferred in the name of Jesus Christ,” are the words to use tp help out a mother who is giving birth to her baby, or your own, to make it a faster, easier job. Those particular words I have found are beneficial to cause a baby to be born into the waiting hands of someone in the room, in the next room, or into the maternity ward of a local hospital, miraculously, in the twinkling of an eye, from insde the womb, to outside, simultaneously. “Bridle your tongue’” helps out someone who has a problem with lying, or spreading gossip. Several commands for God to bind the Devil, to get the Devil behind a person, so as to avoid temptation,or to cause the Devil to leave.”Out cancer…” will cause healing to happen, with no more cancer in that person, at all. Some of these commands can be used with the “laying on of hands,” of Christians, with prayer lead by someone in the group. “Out demon…”can cause a demon to suddenly leave a person in the room, or just outside, in the parking lot, as those words are given God to do for the Demon-possessed, slamming the door, even if it has been locked. I am open to other suggestions of effective commands for God to work through us. I can think of some more, but they might involve the new believer to act on a suggestion, like “Jesus can make you walk, now!. Would you like me to take your hand as you get up. May God give you strength. Be healed…” “As I touch you, now, may you be totally healed. There is no more (sickness) leprosy in you, now. Go in peace. Your faith has made you whole!” “You are forgiven…Go , and sin no more.” “I love you, brother. Here, hit me on the other side of my jaw, as well.” “God loves you, brother. Can I lead you in the ’sinners prayer?’” “Jesus loves you, he died for us all on the cross, and I am free of sin. Can I help get you to become a new creature, free indeed?” ”May God be with you, and may you turn your eyes onto the Lord, to give you strength to avoid temptation. And ask and you shall receive.” I said that. “Would youlike me to go with you. I can be the ‘designated driver.’” One could become a faith healer, as a gift. There are many gifts of the Spirit…Read the Bible sriptures, and practice memorizing verses with others. Pray with others, at your church, and join a Bible study. Jesus loves you. He would not have but one to perish in Hell. I have many words of encouragement. Join a church. Good luck.
I don’t make bargains…I just ask for things
hahaha. All the time!
I did once upon a time. But I figured that if God said no, I wouldn’t be able to tell if he did or not.
I do it every once in a while, but I rarely follow through with my end of the bargain.