May 27, 2006
-
Availability
I was with a friend a while back and she was mentioning another person that we both knew. She suggested that she thought there were probably problems in their relationship. The reason she thought there were problems in the relationship was because the woman was dressing in what she thought was a provocative manner. I didn’t think there was anything to it. I just found out last week that she suddenly left him.
Does certain types of dress suggest that a person is trying to make themselves available?
Comments (123)
FIRST!
grrr…SECOND!
2nd?
YES!! Mwahaha…I don’t think I’ve ever gotten that high..lol
I think it does. Just from personal observations with my friends.
Whatever, third..but to your question, sometimes. Not all people do it, but some might.
hmmm… interesting… well… i dunno what it’s like for other ppl… but i did find myself dressing less “provocatively” once i was in a serious relationship… probably cuz i felt that my bf wouldn’t want other ppl seeing my “goods” hahaa
yes. or that’s what it seems like, anyway…
yes and no. it depends on if the style of dress suddenly changes, or if a person dresses “provocatively” on a day-to-day basis. if style changes, then maybe. if thats how the person has always dressed… probably not.
idk
Not necessarily. It might for some women, but certainly not most.
I wouldn’t think so…but apparently she does.
hmmm i dont know
thats interesting, some people just wanna look hott all the time cuz they like the attention though, but yeah i think that can be true sometimes.
No, I think they just want to look hot for their significant other. Otherwise he may start looking for other hotties.
One way or another, provocative dressing is specifically to get someone’s attention. In a relationship, if the significant other does not pay attention and respond, then someone else will pay attention and possibly respond.
Yes.
i don’t think dress and availability are going hand in hand. i think it has everything to do with how a person feels a lot of the time. if i feel down soemtimes dressing up will cheer me up because i can see myself in the mirror a different way. doesn’t work all the time though. lately i’ve felt too tired to dress up but tonight i am cause i have this wake to go to. i haven’t seen myself look this good in a long time. and i kind of wonder what happened to me to make me stop dressing up.
Nah. I don’t necessarily think so.
We cats, we go nakee
Sometimes. Sometimes I dress sexy (not scantily clad but sexy) and most of the time it’s for me because I take pride in my apperance. Other times I do it to catch people’s (see: girls’) eyes.
it can…
Possibly.
yeah like cleavage/midriff- baring tops… also shirts with blatantly sexual phrases i.e. “SLUT”
Sounds like the other man likes the sexy clothes.
Mm, cleavage.
IT’S WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND
In my pants.
The way we dress always sends a message (intended or not), but judging motives is difficult if not impossible.
My advice: If you aren’t selling, don’t advertise.
I think so, but some people dress like that regardless.
But I’d never do something like, say, a mini dress and a tank top when I’m in a relationship.
yeah, a lot of the time.
I guess – take me for example, I think my dress screams out for a librarian or a school teacher, and I actually ended up with an engineer! So it does work!
Maybe it’s the summer weather, who knows? The more they show and the less they wear, I’m all for it.
Yes. Duh.
well, if i see someone walking down the street in a way-too-mini mini skirt, and cleavage up to their chin, i would have to generalize them as a slut. ‘nough said
i realized that i didn’t realy answer the question….
anyway, i think the type of dress can be a factor in that whole thing, but not always.
Usually the change is more in their behavior, but I guess wearing more provocative clothes would be another indicator…
I belive it means that they want attention or they are wanting the somthing….
subconsciously, there is probably something to it…
but anytime I dress provocatively, it’s usually for the one guy I actually care to impress.
so not in my case… idk about other women.
No.
yes i believe so. I change the way I dress according to if I’m avalible or not.
RYC: I shoulda just said 1st when I saw that you had no comments…LMAO!! Maybe another time!
A lot of the time.
Not necessarily.
Depends on the age. Older still in skimpy outfits, yeah. If you are talking about 30 or younger, not really.
You bet.
i think some people dress for attention but it doesn’t even have to be provacative. how you dress does say a lot about a person, IMHO.
Hi Dan,
I wear mini skirts because I like looking sexy. I like the attention. It’s kind of an ego thing. That’s all.
Candy
I dress the same no matter if I’m in a relationship or not. I just like looking nice with a slight twist of sexiness.
I guess..
Hmmm…. Perhaps. I think it would have to be a drastic, though. Not just a shirt here and there.
Ya I def. thinks so. People tend to dress a little how they are feeling. I if they feel like they want to meet people then I think that they will tend to dress that way.
~G~
Do certain types of dress suggest that a person is trying to make themselves UNavailable?
it depends on the person, i think.
for me, personally, no, if i’m dressed provacatively (in a relationship) it’s because i’m trying to look good for my man.
Well it could be but in some situations a woman is simply trying to please the man she is in love with-which could be her husband/boyfriend.
I think so … if you aren’t looking for anybody, you won’t really care how you look. But, if you are trying to nab someone new, you will definitely want to look your sexiest!! I always try to look my best, just in case!!
yes… it does matter what you wear….people can read you like a book…
it really depends.. some people like to dress up so they look good for their man or woman..
and some people are just whores or man-whores..
Of course this isn’t the answer to your question, but I believe she was probably already in an affair of the heart and dressing to please/provoke someone specific. However, no history just the question…yes.
yus
??? Sometimes I guess???
I agree with jamesmind and it would put the radar on my screen.
Dresses can be used for that function. Everything has a reason, especially what people do. It’s just as likely as any reason one would use a dress for that function.
A change in the way one dresses is significant.
In some cases, perhaps. Someone might dress provocatively in hopes of meeting someone or getting the attention of the opposite sex. However, they might just wear those things because that’s what they like and that’s what they are comfortable wearing. Who knows?
It could, I suppose.
I dunno. Mark and I have a great relationship in many aspects and this is how we deal with clothing. I don’t tell him what to wear and he returns the favor. I’ll buy him a gift card to his favorite clothing store, and he’ll do the same, but I won’t go and pick out something unless I am absolutely sure he’d like it.
~Caroline~
Deffinatly. Low cut. Lots of skin. Cleavage-y. Yes.
If NO means NO then NO.
Wow. Never actually thought about this one. I’d guess it does for some people, not something I would do.
I hope not…
Well, obviously, if you let your boobs hang out of your shirt, you want some eyeballs rolling your direction, and announce to the world “Hi! I’m a huge enormous slut!!!”
I am going to be honest, I have when the relationship was starting to fizzle.
I LIKE YOUR BLOG BECAUSE YOU PRESENT THE LIBERAL AGENDA WHILE WEARING AN XTIAN FACE. GREAT FUCKING JOB. MM!
IMHO Yes.
Excepting the few that only know one way to dress
Hell yes . . . as the old song says.
“A woman wears a certain look
When she is on the move
And a man can always tell what’s on her mind
I hate to have to say it
But that look’s all over you
Woman oh woman
Have you got cheating on your mind”
How funny that you bring this up. My hubby and I were just discussing this very issue today. We had to go to the mall to return a shirt I bought yesterday, and while we were there saw a woman with her son. (So far, so good.) The little boy was dressed very snazzy–hair done, khaki pants, polo shirt. Cute kid. Then, there was Mom. She was pretty and skinny, but was dressed in an stretch tee that was too short, daisy dukes, cute heels. She was dressed like a kid–a single one at that. I didn’t say anything about her. “Cute kid,” I said to the hubby. His response was “You know, if you dressed like that and then took Miss Priss out, I would be furious. She is clearly marketing herself.”
I laughed. “Thanks for telling me I am not allowed to dress like that! And you are right. That does tell people that you are on the market and want to be looked at.”
We wondered what her husband thought. (Yes, she was wearing a wedding ring.) And we went on our merry way. Maybe he was wearing tight jeans and wife beater waiting on her somewhere in the mall.
How very interesting.
Yes.
Even if it’s not intentional, that’s the message they send out.
I dress in a provocative manner at times and it has absolutely nothing to do with mny relationship.
I think a much better way to judge how a couple is doing is watch how they interact and how they are towards each other.
It’s a mood thing for me. If I’m tired, I will roll out of bed, leave the house with no makeup and my hair up wearing the bare minimum of accessories. If I have to go to a social function, I’m all dolled up. If I’m going on a date, particularly. If I just wanna boost my own esteem and look the best I can for me, I dress up. Provocative is different for different people. Provacative (for me) is showing any skin at all…but then, I’m a less is more girl. Some women/girls don’t have decorum and have the ‘if you got it flaunt it’ philosophy. Many people do it differently based on their belief structure, body type, and mood. It’s a tough question to answer, really.
suggest that they are available? yes…. but does everyone intend to project that message? well…that’s certainly the message fashion designers are trying to send. (or so it seems)
it’s amazing, the subliminal messages sent by what you wear.
who knows
I guess.
I would have no clue whatsoever.
It’s hard to tell with if a person is purposely dressing provacative these days. All the fashionable clothes are a little on the trashy side this year. And who wants to wear their granny’s double knit pantsuits. uggg.
My ex boyfriend and I are good friends and he’s been married now for several years. He and his wife have 4 kids together now. His dad owns his own company and him and his wife work for his dad. His dad for whatever reason checked his daughter-in-law’s email and found out she was emailing one her husband’s really good friends. Turns out the good friend and the wife had kissed (from what the emails had stated). My ex said that he noticed she had been dressing more provactive (low-cut shirts and skirts to work, etc…) and she usually didn’t wear that stuff… but he didn’t think nothing of it… turns out there was a reason she was wearing that crap. He forgave her though… poor guy.
~B
Hey Theo! Why don’t you take a poll and find out what exactly “provocative” is I think it’d be an interesting thing to find out.
Back to the question. It depends, if the women was flirting with other men and looking around as well as dressing provocatively, then she’s obviously trying to attract attention. If she acts like she’s in a relationship, then the way she dresses is probably just personal preference.
RYC- so I can officially diagnos you as well- and here I thought only moms suffered from this one!!!
I think a person changes how the act/dress at the end of a relationship, although one particular style isn’t indicative of that.
Yeah. When a woman (or a man) changes her attire from what it has always been to one that’s sexy, she’s looking for action. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist, Dan.
Yeah.
Sometimes.
yes
yup
Yes… no… maybe. What matters is less the style of dress than whether there has been a CHANGE in the way someone typically dresses. Even then you can’t be sure… if someone has lost a lot of weight, or has been working out, they may dress differently to show it off.
of course
no it doesn’t. they could be comfortable with their body. they could be showing off their body’s best features. they might be more comfortable when there’s not fabric rubbing their skin (i hate to wear sleeves, unless it is on a sweatshirt. i don’t know why. and that is why i am always wearing tanktops. even in winter), or maybe they’re dressing like that because their boyfriend likes it and they want to impress them
Its a whole picture type of situation. Clothing, the setting for the clothing, body language.
People are surprised when things fall apart?
Hmmm…when I’m single I’m always conscious of how I dress. When I’m in a relationship I’m more likely to go out not caring how I look.
yeah.
To some degree, yes. But it could also mean she is tired of her old look and change her dressing style to update her appearance.
No. There are so many reasons why a person would want to don provocative clothing.It might be taken wrong by the boyfriend, that a friend dates someone else and is “looking for another.” Not always so. I dated a close relative , wearing a low-cut blouse. There is no reason why wore it, except it was brand new. When I bought it, i did not realize my motivation for wearing it would be mistaken. I just wanted to look nice.
Yes.
i don’t think so, fashion is fashion. however my boyfriend sometimes does, which i still believe is ridiculous.
Honestly, from my point of view, if I started going out on my own (meaning sans boyfriend) dressed in very revealing outfits, then yeah, I would probably be sending the signal that I’m in the market.
If I were a man and my wife/girlfriend started showing more T&A for no conceivable reason, I’d be worried.
Just like I’d be worried if my boyfriend started buying leather pants, wearing lots of cologne, getting a face peel, or (eww!) wearing an earring.
What is it with men and earrings?
If someone is dressing differently than normal, self-esteem is changing for some reason- relationship or what-not
Maybe she needed attention and felt like he wasn’t giving her enough
yes!
No. The woman could just be dressing sexier because she likes to feel sexy. Or she could be moonlighting as a whore.
Clothes that are provocative to a degree.
I mean, maybe someone just naturally dresses like a tramp, so it’s an everyday thing and the partner should’ve known that when they began dating.
it depends on the person…if they dress that way and its the way they like to dress to be comfortable…so be it…i would never dress that way just because i would rather be tasteful and have respect for myself…but if they dress that way when they go out and are single..lol..then yes i think its because they want attention….just my opinion though
cool site vist mine at xanga.com/movieking.
Aww, come on.
it doesn’t necisarilly mean that they want to make themselves available, it could mean that well..maybe they want more attention. or a change in the relationship.
it depends. i certainly think the person makes the clothes not the clothes makes a person.
it depends on the situation, and the person attitude…if dress provactive and the girl is asking for it (then slut).
but i know i wear mini-skirts but that doesnt make me a slut…so it really depends on a person.
yes
It’s not how you dress, it’s how you act towards others (of the opposite sex.)
…look at the band.
> It would depend on the mind in question. Insecurity in the male half can lead to foolish words and decisions. Insecurity and poor self image in the female half can lead to words regretted because they get a little racy in the dress dept. However female attributes are appreciated by the right thinking male everytime. Least they are my myself. too bad for the other male….
Peace
You pronouns have me so confused that I’m now sure who is who in this question.
Yep.
I’ll explain mating rituals to you in more detail sometime.
L,r
It depends on if they ALREADY dressed like that or not. If they suddenly started dressing different, then I would say yes.
I think that women have gerat intuition is what I think!
No
not at all
don’t you think all clothing of choice is making some kind of statement?