August 28, 2006
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Emmy Awards
Dear Hollywood,
I would like to make a suggestion. You should create another award show where you congratulate each other on how wonderful you are. I don’t think there are enough award shows for overpaid actors. I also think when awarding the awards in this new show, you should totally ignore what the public thinks and just consider yourself deeper than us.
Your friend,
Dan
Comments (102)
1st!
bitter! and colbert lost to barry manilow!
i agree
we dont actually want to see people we like win…
But…but…you have to appreciate it when Megan Mullally FINALLY wins an Emmy!
Oh yeah! 1st time ever 1st! I rock! ok.
hollywood does get too much attention.
movies are over priced and such…
This is awesome.
I just took a shower.
I also love this site.
Thank you for bringing up issues few people would think about.
You rock Dan!
i supppose you have a good point. i htink the gift bags, etc, are unnecessary, butsometimes the awards are well-desereved. and the shows are always entertaining. =) top ten!!
HERE, HERE!
yes, and xanga will host it.
HAHA
I hate Hollywood.
Wow, I made the top 10 (if I submit quickly enough)! The 94-95 Oscars which were hosted by David Letterman were actually pretty good. Because he totally dogged all those Hollywood hotheads. Needless to say, he won’t be invited back.
Give ‘em an inch, they’ll take a mile…. have you any idea what you are giving them permission for now?
I never even watch them
Well said, Dan. I agree.
i would like to see an awards show run by the govt….the format will be the same as for the emmys and the oscars, but it will be the american public that decides…we will cast our votes when we do our taxes…winners get tax breaks for the next year…maybe this will end the quanity over quality bullshit that has plagued hollywood for so long…..
Nice
haha well award shows are a great way for normal people to feel bad and feel fat and make it be another new years resoultion not accomplished
I think they should make a show where every year they only use the same very small group of actors, and just call them the best of the bunch year after year for the same award.
By the way, you might find this interesting:
http://www.saysmom.com/maia/category.asp?Category=15
This woman believes men are the reason the world is horrible. She wants an all female world. She believes that when this happens, the world will be completely fine again.
To show you this, let me show you her thought of men and raping children, and how no women ever is focused on sex. Only men. And if women are focused on sex, it’s a man’s fault:
“The more liberated, the more independent women become in our world, the more men make use of children to satisfy their fantasies and their need to feel superior. No longer able to dominate most women, they turn to children to provide the subservience and sexual submission they miss. In effect, child victims of pedophilia are nothing more than replacements for the “virgin bride” rarely found in today’s most “civilized” societies.
Until our society abandons the “idee fixe” that sex is an important aspect of human life… by itself, aside from procreation… pedophila, rape, incest, sexual abuse of children and women will continue and become more and more prevalent. As long as everything we sell, from shampoo to cars, is associated with sex… as long as all the movies, everything on TV, all the billboards and all the magazines sell sex the same as breathing and eating… our little boys will grow up believing that sex is everything. And that it’s their right… their natural right… to satisfy that right, no matter what, with anyone they please.”
She also wishes that men are not needed for relationships, love, strength, or security.
Just thought you might get some discussion out of this, or find it an interesting read.
If only the awards somewhat resembled box office results..
I want to see an awards show for the Hollywood folks, where they get awards on who had the best plastic surgery…who had the most scandalous affair, the longest stay in rehab, the most relapses, and OF COURSE who is the most aneroxic…… Gosh there is a loooooong list and I could keep going, and going, and going….but I forgot my energizer batteries tonight….I am running on tha dollar general brand 2nite….. <33333333Rachel
Ha ha, seriously, I don’t even know what half those awards they give out are for.
In response to norris_redford
Reading your snippet there reminds me of a SciFi movie with that exact plot. Men have been eradicated because they were believed to be the cause of all the evil in the world. Pretty messed up, I thought at the time…
i must admit, that is a pretty good idea.
Don’t hold back Dan, tell us how you really feel.
aren’t we the ones who egg these awards or people on by watching their shows, or the awards themselves? isn’t it the same for sports?
I think that america is, inevitable and in some senses, rather unfortunately, a bit centered around the entertainment industry.
I agree.
=]
And I agree with luvurchildren.
“I want to see an awards show for the Hollywood folks, where they get awards on who had the best plastic surgery…who had the most scandalous affair, the longest stay in rehab, the most relapses, and OF COURSE who is the most aneroxic……”
That would make me laugh.
Cause I think we idolize those people enough.
Who cares who the best is?
you know, from a commercial i heard on the radio this morning, caring about this sort of thing is actually caused by having the same hamburger too many times… there could be some merit to this
I get sick of seeing the same faces over and over again in movies. I wish they would make more use of new talent.
They could call them “The Hemmys”(short for hemroids) given out by the Assinine.
WOW!!! Sounds like someone was made to watch the show. I gave up on that crap a long time ago. It got to where I wanted all the time they wasted out of my life back. Hell, they are overpaid so why do they need a prize for doing it.
I don’t even watch that shit anymore. It’s pointless.
my cousin was nominated for an emmy!
well, actually, he’s my cousins boyfriend. but thats ok.
he got nominated for the music he wrote for the show Prison Break.
“you should totally ignore what the public thinks and just consider yourself deeper than us.”
You hit it on the head there, Dan. The mere definition of Hollywood. Nothing in or about Hollywood has anything to do with “real” people or representing anyone in real life. It’s all fake, it’s all staged, it’s all completely ridiculous and overrated. Makes me sick.
They do that every day, Dan. Why have a special night for it? It’d be like having a special night to honor pooping or something. It’s about as honorable and significant, if you ask me.
That has been said before, they don’t listen. Which is why their business is in the toilet.
didn’t even know it was on……..and seriously, anyone is deeper than you.
Well now I don’t have to watch it tonight as you lot have just told me everything.
Taste is subjective anyway.
Great idea! And we can con millions of people into wasting their precious lives wahtcing award shows.
39th!
What about an awards show for the hardworking ‘seat fillers’?
Lol. Right on target, right on target. Couldn’t have said it better meself.
LOL
Amen. How Jean Smart did not win for “24″ is beyond me. She was amazing!
don’t watch those shows any longer. Let the audience decide what they like instead of “hollywood”. We should have categories like, most over-rated, worst acting in a series, and most pompous. Cuz thats all they are anyway.
no sarcasm there….haha….they feel somewhat guilty by their money for no work….so they have to tell each other how great they are so they feel like they are making a difference in the world…it’s all make believe…
agreed…
LOL
Good one!
Very nice.
Whatever happened to your contest about the greatest on xanga?
And did you hear all that complaining about being taxed on the gift baskets? PUH_LEAZE! Like they can’t afford it!
I don’t like award shows. Well, at least the big glamorous types. I like Sundance and things of that nature.
I wonder at what lengths they would go to out do each other if such an award show did exist. I’d also like to see a category most dangerous stunts done by an actor even though they had a stuntman to do the work, they used to have an awards show for stuntmen who would out do each others’ entrances, some coming in on fire, others falling an extreme height, or something involving vehicles and crashing. What would stars do to get the awards for the second or third award show? That fine balance of normalcy would go right out the window along with common sense. Holywood is anything but just another neighborhood in a another town.
-Guru on the Hill
amen.
Agreed…
I also agree… They’re already glammed up enough… I also agree with luvurchildren… Too true…
Yeah, at least one or two more would be nice. PErhaps lining one up a month to srve as a constant reminder would be the way to go.
LOL. I couldn’t tell you how often I’ve thought the same thing. I seldom even watch those shows anymore.
How about an award show for the best award show? Would that be enough navel-gazing to staisfy the entertainment industry?
At least they play loud music to drown them out if they talk too long
Good preachin’ Dan.
Preach on Preacha’
sounds about right
Everyone loves winning awards; Even overpaid actors, I’d imagine.
Nice letter Dan!
Dear Dan,
We thank you for your letter and your concerns regarding our award series. As a matter of fact, we have several new awards ceremonies and programs in progress as I write that I think you will find of particular interest. While I am not at liberty to divulge all of the particulars at the moment I will say that the new face of Hollywood will be bigger and better than ever before! Consider if you will an industry that covers not only entertainment media, but also financial and political as well as informational venues. Our hopes here are that once all forms of communication are not only under the control of one company but completely based on fiction and opionion, the world will be a much better place. We plan on presenting several views of the world as we feel our viewers would like to see at which point you – the viewer – will be able to vote on which one you like the best! What could be better; it’s on TV so it must be true, right? Finally the perfect world you’ve always wanted is only a few votes away, easy as that! As I said, I cannot give the particulars on how this will work, but I have faith that in time you’ll see how much better things will be!
Sincerely,
Hollywood
P.S. As for actors being overpaid, I have to agree they do make a lot of money. However, diamond encrusted, solid-gold Hummers don’t grow on trees, my friend.
Excellent idea!!! I also think they should have an award show for best award show. Then we can create the ASTV channel- Award Show Television channel- nothing but award show’s 24/7. And then maybe they can make a reality TV show out of making the award show. They can call it….. “An Asshole’s Road to the Golden Globes”.
Sorry laserlawyer, I stole your idea on the award show for best award show! Great minds think alike.
I totally agree!!
here here!!
That works for me!
Award shows? I have heard rumors about them. But I cannot say I have wasted any of my life trying to see one
heck yes. theres a reason i keep coming back to this site, dan. im not sure what it is, but this post is an excellent example of it.
damn overpaid conformists….what about the people who rehearse relentsly only to perform in tiny run down theaters in alleyways? what about the people who perform at fringe festivals, who are actually trying to make a point, unlike the people entertain people just so they can pay for their malibu mansion and vera wang ball gowns. do they ever get recognized?nooooo…….ok sorry, i was on a rant there. but america is obsessed with the entertainment industry. we deperatly need lives.
Which raises the question, what if they gave an awards show, and nobody came?
They’re called the Oscars.
Aw, I like award shows. Don’t cut ‘em down just because you’re not interested; there are plenty of people who do watch them, or else they wouldn’t be on.
Also keep in mind that not ALL hollywood people are shallow, undeserving, vapid people. There’s obviously no real way of proving this, but not everyone in hollywood is Paris Hilton. There are some, but there are some on my college campus as well.
I will admit the Emmy’s were kind of boring. I like the Globes & the Oscars better.
lets say you work as a business man in a large office
every year you go to a meeting that says this guy was the best at sales and this guy was the best at whatever and so forth
now lets say that business was so large and so popular and so well known by the public that merely by being in that business you had people following you wherever you go
you realize that the public is practically obsessed with knowing every little detail about your life… including all the unhealthy nights you stay up just to get ahead of all the other guys in the same business
this is hollywood
these ppl dont go out and say hey im anorexic… film it
that is an assinine thought
if you knew anything about award shows you would know that they are hosted by certain unions relating to acting and filming… such as the screen actors guild… which happens to be the particular union hosting the emmys
just as most activities or businesses hand out awards… as do each of these unions
there are a lot of these unions… each with their own award ceremonies
and since the public is so fascinated and obsessed with celebrities (not unrightfully so… almost everyone DOES go to the movies) …they are televised for your entertainment
if you dont choose to be one of the people so involved with movie making… dont watch it… but also dont diss on an award ceremony just because you dont have the say in who wins when you are not in fact a member of the union presenting such awards
because im sure that if i had an issue with joe schmoe winning employee of the month of such and such union… everyone would think im as insane as i think you are
ps if you think filmmakers and actors are overpaid… stop giving them your money… and dont watch tv… and dont watch movies
I haven’t watched an awards show in decades. The entertainment industry is sooooooo plastic and egocentric.
I never watch them for that very reason!
**APPLAUSE**
Retarded awards…
Celebs should be treated no better than us normal people are treated. Thier still humans…just like us. They put the pants on one leg at a time….just like us. GOD made them just like he made us. That’s my thought about this topic.
I agree, Dan. *thumbs up*
ok, they get paid mega-bucks to be in a movie. designers and stylists throw themselves at their feet. and we sit and listen to them tell us how it was an honor to be nominated. . . blah, blah, blah. I Love to go to the movies, but what do they do with all their money? surgery and clothes? open up some of those mansions to the worlds poor.
THANK YOU!! How many people could tell you what won best movie at the oscars last year, in comparison to who could tell you who won the nobel peace prize??? obviously, one is more important….
Hahah.
[ariana]
I agree. You should send that to whoever’s in charge over there…
Dont they already have a show like that?
Ha! Great post.
psh, thats hollywood! the only reason i watch those shows is for those jokes like the manalow one. conan was pretty good though.
Yep
ohh yes! i’ve never liked awards shows.. and i guess that explains why… it’s the people without the awards, the people behind the scenes that matter… not the public figureheads…
don’t forget to let them know its ok if they think they are better than us just because they light up with a $100 bill. i’m sure the starving children around the country don’t mind.
Hahaha.
You make me laugh.
And so does luvurchildren!
Very good. It’s been a while since I’ve read any searing sarcasm.
haha
I agree with you on how these celebrities have it easy, but it’s got to be hard for them, too, especially getting there. To take a quote from the book The Outsiders, “Things are rough all over.” Have you ever seen the show Entourage? Windfall? They have a lot of competition, most of them need a lot of skill, and they need a lot of luck. It’s not fair that they make so much money for a job they must love so much, but you know that money can’t buy happiness and neither can fame. They have a lot of eyes on them and people constantly judging them. Then, there’s the poparatzi and fake friends. Not having to work or be responsible can be really boring and lower one’s self-esteem. Things lose their value, until nothing means anything. It seems like it’s not fair for us, and I bet a lot of celebrities feel like life isn’t fair, but it’s more fair than we’ll ever know.
Yeah, just like Oprah has bonds with other women that normal people don’t have. 9.9
we do not watch tv. yet 24 (thanks to blockbuster) has become an addiction in this house. i am truly impressed and intrigued with the show and was tickled that it won best drama.
Thank you! And the winner is…..Dan!
dear hollywood,
get people to either be actors or singers because most people cant do both.tell lindsey lohan to gain weight.get some real people and stop making people want to be anorexic.Curvy booties and hips rock.Not skinny as bones.
that was beautiful.
Nice job addressing the issue, but I think there are enough award shows out there were they just stand around & look pretty, but they should do one for the annoying announcer people/magizines who always suck up to the “wonderful” stars.. I wonder who’d win for most annoying red carpet host…Joan Rivers!