September 27, 2006
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Online Dating
I was reading this article about how some were struggling to get dates with online dating services: http://www.nwfdailynews.com/articleArchive/sep2006/relationshipsundateables.php
The article has in the title: “Undateables”
Are online dating services for people who struggle to get dates in real life?
Comments (118)
I don’t know, it’s working for me!
And I’m a sexy beast!
Heh. Notice how I didn’t say “first”!
I don’t think so
3rd!
heck yes!
um yeah i guess.
As in, heck yes, cos I don’t need to use them.
I’ve never tried it…but I was really thinking about this the other day when I read a comment. I mean, theoretically, it should work out. I mean, that way, you get to “know” the person before you’re affected by all of the distractions and biases of looks/appearance.
yes, i think so. I mean, if you don’t know enough people in your circle or whatever, then you need to look elsewhere for dates. you could try something besides online dating (which I think is just unsafe on general principle), but a lot of people try that first.
It’s just a matter of who’s fixing your up. Most people don’t really have the skills to make contact like they do in the movies.
I don’t think so, I might the love of my life on Yahoo personals… I think Eharmony is wack though. They couldn’t match me with man, woman, vegetable or goat…
I don’t think they’re as effective as people wished.
It depends on the person. Yes, some people who have trouble getting dates in real life use it. But there are also people who use it for different purposes, like gays, and old people.
I don’t think so…but I don’t really think these online dating things are the greatest idea either.
Haha yes….
Online dating is like the newspaper dating services. I don’t know if you should say that it’s for people who couldn’t find a date in real life; just because it’s online doesn’t mean it isn’t real life. It’s just a different way to meet people.
no. don’t think so…
I have had some dates with “undatables” that didn’t originate from on-line dating services. The person I am “seeing” now was an on-line connection. I think I am datable but I have hard time approaching people and initiating conversation sometimes. I like how on-line dating progresses from an email, to a phone call to a date so you can put the skids on something before you even go out if it doesn’t add up.
RYC: The book is great! The author works 9 jobs in a year and even though I’m still in chapter 1, she is working as a roadie for a metal band. She is a good author and I love the book. And she makes a good argument for the fact that if you want to work you can because she claims to be unqualified at all the jobs she worked that year and was still employed by each place.
To a certain extent.
No, I think it may help weed some people you won’t want to date.
Oi…Online dating…
Sigh…
Yes.
in a way.. and not really.. i assume it helps people specify their preferences easier, for those who need their dates to meet specific standards.
and the really horny…
It’s a much nicer alternative than hanging out in a bar… and for people pursuing higher education who move every two to three years, online dating can be really great. People who criticize online dating really shouldn’t flatter themselves so much.
Needless to say, I met my husband on match.com… so… whatever. I also have many friends in my “real life.”
I’m not sure, I think its just an easier way for people to open up about them selves. It can also cause some serious fibs also…I think that if you have absolutely positively think that you cannot succeed at real life dating then you should resort to onling dating!
not necessarily…. maybe just those who don’t do well meeting people in real life
Yeah, why would you want to date someone your hooked up with over the net by someone that doesnt know you if you could go out and find a person by yourself??
I’d be scared to do it cuz even if there are plenty of attractive nice ppl on those things Im sure there are a number of psycho uglies. At least in person you can usually tell a psycho ugly right away.
That is all
No, they’re for “hooking up”. Except eHarmony, which told me that nothing could be done to help me.
Yup
Thanks for your kind words Dan — I needed them today for sure –
no. i think that’s the norm these days. for people like me who only know a few single people most of the guys i meet are married or gay it’s about the only option aside from going on a blind date. and those could be creepy. at least through these online services there’s a way to find out about likes and dislikes before you go on a date.
no, I think it’s a trend
i think in a way it can be easier…but a bit deceptive, too perhaps…
hmmm
I hadn’t thought about it, but I would suspect so.
Sure, ’cause it is an easier way to meet people I guess.
No, they are for easy hookups for already married people. Aren’t they?
I don’t know.
It seems so.
Some probably are. Others are people who can’t ever seem to have enough relationships so they are constantly seeking more. I don’t date online. I usually laugh at people who fail to notice that in my profile and email me with pickup lines anyway. It’s a waste of time. Online dating is silly when there is a whole real world out there IMHO.
Different people use them for different reasons. Some do it because they are undateable; others do it because their potential dating pool is so small. Once I got out of college, my own dating pool shrank dramatically. There was a time when I could find someone at church; these days there are fewer singles my own age, and I find little in common with the singles I do know. Online dating allows people to search a larger group of potential partners, while also narrowing the search to a particular kind of person — at least in theory.
aha..pretty much
Either way, I disagree with online dating. It really is a very uncertain thing. Not like dating in general isn’t but honestly do you think everyone on their side of the computer is telling the truth.
But in relevance to your question…No its not just for undateables, although the computer is a good way to get to know someone for who they are not what they look or act like. It helps.
I guess I just contradicted myself didn’t I?
I am soldier, I will survive, its just a sureal feeling you know? Thanks Dan!
-SAM-
I think it’s about 50/50…
I don’t know. I don’t know that much about them.
No, I think it’s just for people who want to give it a try — I’ve never had the impression that it was just for people too lame to get a date in real life.
Facebook works pretty well for me, haha
I don’t think so. Maybe for some of the people on them. I never struggled to get dates, but I tried the on-line dating thing to improve my chances (that was a disastor). I also met my husband on-line. It wasn’t on a dating services though b/c I would have nevr given him a chance based on his profile picture and description (he is short and not thin or atheletic).
I don’t think so. I just think it’s more convenient for some people who are busy to meet people. I’d prefer that to picking up someone in the bar. Someone brought up that it was bad because people aren’t fully honest online? And everyone is totally honest when you meet in the real life way??
You meet the good and the bad no matter what. Some people would just prefer to weed them out online rather then in real life where they could more easily end up with a stalker. :Þ
Yes
As a former internet dater, I can say from experience if you are thinking about internet dating DON’T!! RUN the other way!!! Even on the “Christian” sites there are a LOT of people out there who are looking for one thing and by “one thing” I don’t mean a long-term relationship!! If it were up to me, all internet dating sites would be permanently shut down and we’d go back to arranged marraiges!!!
no. Online dating services are for people who are tired of all the games that you go through when meeting someone person to person. By going through a computer, people are hoping to cut through some of the crap and get to know someone before the face-to-face judgment.
If you can get a date in real life, why in the world would you trade it for someone you can’t really see or touch or even hear? That is unless (for men) you aren’t enough of a man to interact with real women enough to ask them out, and in that case, why would any girl on the internet want you either? grow up, buck up, and ask the woman! She’s worth it!
Cowboy
As far as I know they are. Whether they work is another matter. They don’t seem to be all that effective, from what I’ve heard… although they do have their success stories!
lol, it’s the want ads all over again
Probably not all of them, but I personally wouldn’t try to find a date online. and the idea of “rating” other people’s “date-ability” based on their profile, and having the “top rated singles!” section is hilarious and really, really sad at the same time.
after reading the article i’ll say this. it’s tough out there. all those people on those sites and you still can’t find anyone. i’ll stick with the old fasion way.it makes you feel like you’re back in hugh school.
* sorry about the typo’s*
i can see how people struggle in their community to get real dates but that could be a combination of a lot of factors. we should also ask the following, do those who go from relationship to relationship struggle with maturity, self-esteem, and being independent in life? i think society puts way too much pressure on people who are single to be in a relationship and define themselves within such. i don’t think that the problem is with the person so much as with society’s dichotomic standards of being oneself while also having to be like everyone else.
I used online dating once. The guys I met were pretty much arrogant jerks. I’m not sure if that reflects poorly on me or not. Mainly I used it as a form of entertainment; not because I had trouble finding dates. I think it works for some people…just not me.
P.S. thanks for the comment!
I think they’re scary. Too many crazy
people lurking around those places.
ryc: Thank you, I appreciate that!
I don’t know. I am old school. You see a girl you are attracted to. You smile. She smiles. You tell her she has a pretty smile. She says you have a pretty tooth. You ask her if she would like to go out some time. If she says yes you take her to a nice restaurant. You make small talk. Then you be a gentle man all the way through. At the opening of her cave you gently kiss her good by and then turn around. If she doesn’t conk you over the head with a club and drag you inside, you go home single and free. Call backs are to be expected unless she doesn’t wait for you to turn around and hits you in the face with the club. That’s a good clue you are still free and single but you just lost your pretty tooth and no girl.
I can’t get a girl IRL, but I’m not gonna result to teh loser dating services :0
Never tried it, honest.
when i said it maakes you feel like you’re in high school. i should’ve been more clear ( you can’t read my thoughts after all). i meant that a ratings system makes you feel like you’re in high school, not meeting people the old fashion way. A ratings system makes it a popularity contest just like high school. i hope that’s just a bit clearer than before =D
Um…no…i don’t think so…hehe
…have a good Wednesday Dan…^^
Not exactly. But maybe so in some cases in others not?
I am not a social person in general, so I don’t meet a lot of girls. And the socialable party type of gals that seem to go out in public a lot are usually slutty tit flashing skimpy clothes wearing girls.
I met my last girlfriend online, but not on a dating service.
In other words, I don’t go out a whole lot, but I’ve had girls “show” interest, I just like intelligent people which seem easier found online to me or in somewhere like Barnes and Nobels. /shrug
Then again, I’ve never actively LOOKED for a girlfriend, I don’t talk to a girl with the intention of dating. So I am not good for this question.
I don’t know, but I do know I got the biggest laugh of my life out of an online dating service for scientists and engineers. (“One plus one equals two. This is not as easy in real life.”)
-Guru on the Hill
I dunno. All i know is that I don’t bother.
lol that’s funny. ppl are supposed to be goin to online dating services b/c they cant get a date w/ a person regularly, & now they cant get a date w/ a person on the internet either. lol that is funny! :laughs:
It sounds good, but if I was on a site for “undateables” and didn’t find a date… Yeah, I’d feel really low.
…If it were up to me, all internet dating sites would be permanently shut down and we’d go back to arranged marraiges!!!
Posted 9/27/2006 at 1:23 PM by carlyjeff
Are you for real?
Who wants someone picking for them the person they have to marry, spend their lives with, have kids with… I don’t like the idea of e-dating but there is still a lot of groune between -dating of the 21st century and the arranged, no-say-in-the-matter ways of the tenth century.
Or were you exaggerating?
Hahahaha.. yeahhh.
look at joan rivers on match.com.
I would think so
I am clueless on how to get dates in real life AND online.
Web pages are passive as hell. I hate them. I used to think about online dating until I realized I would need to learn to not be socially dysfunctional no matter what anyway.
So I think online dating is for idiots mostly. You craft a nym, but you will still crash and burn if your a space cadet, and I don’t mean in a cute emo way.
No, I get dates in real life, its just easier and faster to scope someone out online and figure out if they’re a nutter or not is all…
I don’t know. There is a newspaper ad I see every morning that tells me in no uncertain terms that no attractive women date through the internet. They are all using this company’s phone-in blind dating service instead. So maybe the internet is only for losers.
no
Sure.
Somewhat, cause I’m sure it’s not many people’s first choice when they come to the time in their life when they are looking for a marriage partner.
uhm, yeah! i would say that people who date online find it hard to get dates in real life!
haha
in their face! lmao
nice site btw!
your site is a household name around xanga, eh?
kewl
Yes, in a way.
Dan this is urgent, please post this prayer request for the colorado school crisis.
http://www.xanga.com/Building_A_Mystery/533079916/breaking-news—colorado-school-crisis.html
not necessisarily, i think of it as just another tool.
i think they are really great for older people who don’t really have the opportinities that a young person has to meet people.
Just want to try and find a better catch.
i think its for everyone… its hard to get to know people at a grocery store or bar or wherever……its easy to hop online, read profiles and get to know people before the initial meeting….
I used to to think that but now i’ve kinda changed my opinion of them.
Hey if it works for people, then cool beans. =)
Yes.
My mother is an attractive woman in her early 40′s, very slender, still has long hair, dresses fashionably, and has a great personality. She works 5 days a week and has us kids to take care of, so she really only meets people at work. She is a nursing home nurse. All the men she works with are 20 year old housekeeping people. Needless to say, she wasnt going to find a date anytime soon, so I convinced her to give online date-searching a try. Now she is happily in love with a man who lives 10 minutes away, who she probably never would have met, he is a kind attractive man her age, with kids, making a decent living, and she plans on moving in with him soon. Neither of them would have a hard time finding people if they had the time and the means, which they didn’t. So online dating is not just for weirdos anymore.
Perhaps, perhaps not.
[ariana]
Um, no, they’re for people who’d like to resort to somewhat more regulated and reliable ways of meeting people than going to bars.
yes, for losers who can’t get out of their mom’s basement and do anything social and fun
i don’t think so.
there are weirdos everywhere
Fight Mental Illness Stigma
Yeah, that’s what I’ve always thought.
Obviously it’s for losers. Have you seen the people on eHarmoney commercials, ugly as hell, and probably socially retarded.
I think they’re just there for the people who are too shy or don’t have the funds to get out and meet someone. However, people can lie about themselves… (*v*)
I have a friend who is really pretty who does on line dating…but she never found a lasting relationship that way yet. And she has no problem getting dates…she just can’t find one she likes…
yes
Mostly, yes, as some people are very shy-or old, bald and short.
Or for people who really want to meet sketchy people online, get dragged behind dumpsters, raped, and killed!!!!
Because that’s sooo what I do in my spare time.
You’re not a sketchy rapist murderer, are you?!
I don’t know. If I were some guy who couldn’t get a date and I didn’t have to play it safe online, I guess I’d go for online dating.
But being a girl is much different because of all the predators. Maybe that’s why nobody trusts guys looking for dates online.
If you can’t find a date in real life, find one online. If you can’t find a date online, then you’re a big loser and you might as well kill yourself.
I met most of my exes online.
I think the time factor is a big thing. That, and people really want to be cautious. Supposedly these places do check on people. I don’t know that for a fact, so don’t go by me. Family member of mine found her “soul-mate” on-line and is happily married. I know it does work.
Yes, lol.
-KrIsTiN-
“To a certain extent.”
I met my husband on online dating… I used to go to bars and stuff to meet guys but.. they’re assholes… My husband is the best man in the whole fucking planet…
I hate to say it but lets face but if they were having an easy time of it in the real world, why would they do the on line thing?
It probably works well for those that have limited their social life in the real world and now find that the pickings are slim.
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Vicky
No. The internet, in my experience, is far more vast than the real world. Here, there are no boundaries or restrictions that may limit a person to a specific behaviour.
So no. Everything here is just as real as it would be in the real “world”.
I dunno, but if you can’t get a real life date, you probably could on the internet because people don’t know what you look like, and they don’t know anything about you, you can pretend to live a whole new life and be someone else if you want to. Who the hell online dates anyway? That’s not even a real way to date……who takes that seriously? Geez.
Well let’s see…
If you can get good dates in real life, you’ll probably be perfectly fine with that. If that’s the case, you probably won’t go in search of new ways to get dates. Therefore, anyone using dating sites to get dates probably can’t get them in real life.
It’s pretty obvious: people who need dating sites are, in large part, losers.
Pyro589 said : It’s pretty obvious: people who need dating sites are, in large part, losers.
metallmaus said: not like you, right?
Yeah, I think so. I think that dating services aren’t really…realistic. I think you should go out and meet people on your own and not rely on the internet to match you with someone. Thats just me though.
Eva.
My best friend is like that. She has such low self-esteem that she needs to be fake over the internet… and it’s killing me, watching her. The internet is her life now… she cares more about her internet friends, and boyfriend more than she does me. And it makes me worry about her, cause she believes every word that comes out of their mouthes… putting herself (and me, in cases) in danger of rape, kidnapping, etc., etc.
well, not necessarily. but i assume that most of the people who try online dating do it because they aren’t being swarmed with dates.