November 28, 2006
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Monster Ego
I was reading an article by Michael Kinsley about social network sites and how they bring out the enormous ego in a person. He mentions in his article “There is something about the Web that brings out the ego monster in everybody.”
The idea is that it takes a certain amount of self-absorption in order to post things about your life and think people would actually be interested in them. He mentions how it would give a tendency to exaggeration but focuses in on the fact that people are actually revealing more and more about themselves as if it should interest people. Here is the link: Link
Does it take a certain amount of self-absorption in order to have a xanga site?
Comments (129)
yes it does!
Of course not!
I say it depends on how personal your blog gets, really.
It Depends On The Context Of The Site, I Think, But Yes, Some People Do Get Monster Egos. (fight Mental Illness Stigma)
no I do mine so my family and friends on the other side of the country can see my kids and get to know them
xanga… it could just be boredom or loneliness or some other disorder
its a healthy form of self-expression. whatever your “self ” may be
If I say yes… I admit that I have a huge ego…
Whereas if I say no I’m probably lying to myself…
Consider the source-a journalist? The worst of the worst? Is he worried about competition? Is he, like most of his kind, dependant on sensationalist headlines? Something to think about.
Quite possibly. However, it does depend on the blog. Yes, some of us get very personal, but it’s not always for selfish reasons. But I’ve seen both sides of the spectrum.
absolutely
I realized my comment sounded nasty-it was not intended as such. The article he wrote really was quite funny and did bring home some dark truths. My point was somewhat tongue in cheek-I didn’t realize till after I posted it, no one would realize. Opps.
well sure it does. and what the hell is wrong with that?
yes.
I think it depends on the blog. Some are just people having a “diary”, others seem a bit fake or over the top. I’ve questioned a few sites before.But it’s not my business if you’re being honest or a bit self absorbed………
By the way Dan…yours is a site I have questioned. Who is Dan really? You never post your own opinion…just ask ours. Who has so much time that they can post several times a day….EVERY day?
: )
Well at least to talk about yourself all the time
If you’re talking about ideas, current events, and really anything unrelated to you then I’d argue no
Myspace is the worst for it , though
No, not at all. I am not not self-absorbed in the least. I don’t know why anyone would suggest that about me.
No it depends about what you write on. I don’t really think people would be interested in my personal life. But my country and our customs are interesting
Not always, but I know people who have the monster-ego required and don’t have a xanga site.
Sometimes I think everyone has this deep desire to be known and understood even if its only at Xanga
Oh, definately…. being half anonymous, you can publish alot, even if it is drivel, and withdraw and wait for a reaction, or court an audience and/or bring your friends along…. and make first page , every now and again
Peace
I think there are some that do, but no, I don’t think it’s a basic common denominator…….
Self- absorption? no, not necessarily. Don’t get me wrong, there are many self-absorbed people on Xanga but that is not necessarily the case of all Xangans. It is certainly not true in my case. Many people post on Xanga for a variety of reasons. Some post out of a sense of patriotic/ social responsibility, some post for therapuetic reasons, some post to meet people and network and some- imagine this- just do it because they enjoy it.
there isn’t always some deep motive.
Nah.
I think so, but I think it takes more to have a MySpace or a Facebook (of which I have both
)
James Joyce?
Yea, I think so…of course that depends on what you’re blogging about…
It’s not about ego…it’s about not being alone.
yeah.
I agree that Xanga is a whole lot less self-absorbed than MySpace or Facebook. You can be almost wholly anonymous on Xanga if you choose, so the amount of self-absorption varies depending on the context. We all have ego, it’s just what we do with it.
I suppose it is, in one form or another. A way of saying, “hey, pay attention to me because….” I did it to promote my books and writing. A place to vent and entertain. Does that make me self-absorbed?
The same could be said of any honest writer.
Yeah. Even if you’re not specifically posting about your day, it takes a bit of ego to think people care about your random thoughts and opinions.
I guess it depends on what you post about
I don’t know
No, because 1. people never read my xanga anyway, at least none that actually post comments… and 2. A lot of people get all irate if you are on their Xanga (or any other blog) and they don’t know you. Hello! What is the point of having an online journal if you don’t want strangers to read it?! Jeez!
Of course, and I am proud of it!
definitely. but it’s also nice for people with inferiority complexes or just plain old low self esteem.
i don’t know about that. not for me anyway.
i don’t post for the masses.
To some extent – Some people talk about themselves more than others – And those people would do that in person even if Xanga didn’t exist.
I disagree.
Our society is so mobile, so stuck in our own homes with our central air (and heat), our satellite tv, our computers and our privacy fences. Yet we have a deep, insatiable need for companionship. So we reveal ourselves on here, hoping someone will care enough to read it.
(I do know of some who use this as a way to keep in contact with family that lives across the nation.)
yeah, there’s some to it
but there’s even more on myspace
facebook is practical and egotistical
and the tagging pictures on facebook is pretty cool when you have tons and tons of unflattering pictures of people
i’m bad.
Sure. Humans are selfish.
Everyone is self absorbed to some extent. If you don’t think you are, then you are just kidding yourself. Xanga may be a way for those that aren’t extremely self absorbed to have a place where they can be. People need an outlet like that.
Yeah.
Why is it that so many people on xanga hardly ever update their site and write really short entries? Cause they feel the only thing they can write about is their life, and they don’t think school or their job is “fascinating” enough material.
Depends on what you use Xanga for… If you constantly make posts about yourself and your life, perhaps it takes a little bit of ego. If you you is primarly to just either stay connected and up-to-date with friends’ lives, or to just comment on other people’s posts (without writing many, if any, posts of your own), then no, I don’t think that takes any ego.
Im in a ?
Everybody has something to say.
In reply to ThePQ4 who said the following. . .
No, because 1. people never read my xanga anyway, at least none that actually post comments… and 2. A lot of people get all irate if you are on their Xanga (or any other blog) and they don’t know you. Hello! What is the point of having an online journal if you don’t want strangers to read it?! Jeez!
Posted 11/28/2006 at 9:06 AM by ThePQ4
Might I add people aren’t like this in the diet community. So long as you have a diet journal and aren’t a hater, they’ll welcome you with open arms.
yay.
A big ego of self-absorption
Is better then any abortion
Don’t forget your fascinating life
Write it out on the web–it’ll get caught in a “spider web”. Even if you want to later remove it, there’ll still be records of what you posted somewhere.
You’ll go down in history. People may forget, but computers won’t.
And you’re far more fascinating then any computer!
We’re taking about stuck up pride
Thinking you’re fascinating for everybody.
But there’s at least one person that loves you enough to hang around with you all the time.
“Me, Myself, and I.” (for you)
And for me, “me, myself, and I”.
Three people. If three people love me, I’m sure everybody on xanga will too.
True?
Yes. That’s one reason I don’t post alot – my life is too mundane so why would anyone want to read about it?
I’m not sure what I think yet. I know that I have a Xanga because I like to type out a journal entry and get other people to comment on it. Yeah it does soothe my ego when I spark a thought in someone else’s head. But if I didn’t have Xanga or the internet, I’d do the same in another way most likely. I’d start a book discussion at the library or meet with the girls in my youth group once a week or something like that. I have “real life” discussion groups now, but Xanga is my fix. It’s my instant gratification for exchanging stimulating conversation with people I don’t know. I’m fascinated with other people’s opinions because they are the doors to who those people are. And I am fascinated with who people really are–even the bits of them they don’t realize for themselves.
Did I use “themselves” correctly? It looks funny.
Anyway, I suppose it’s a little bit of ego but it’s really a HUGE amount of curiousity and a need–a genuine, addictive NEED–to discuss. Anything. Everything. Forever.
O.o
~Victoria
not so much. Definitely, you get some attention whores but i just keep my site so i can read interesting posts etc.
I think that it takes a bit of self-absorption, yeah. But as much as a journal or diary would have. There are some people that post more for their own well-being, and getting their feelings and ideas out.
-Jessica
yea… but it also allows for people to reflect on their lives, which does involve an ego, but more importantly, it calls for a sense of self awareness (implying therefore, a respect for one’s place in the larger scheme) which could in fact lay claim to making the blogger one who is entirely selfless…..
I suppose it does…with some people it shows up as conceit and with others as pride.
no not really. we all first started xanga to keep eachother updated on what’s going on in life.
I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive.
I don’t think so. I use my xanga to vent more than anything. Sure, i think it is pretty kooli if someone else pops by and reads it and we end up being friends, but i would rather not have a whole bunch of people i don’t know reading my site. (i realize that is kind of hard, considering this is the internet and pretty much anyone has access to my site, but with the beautiful invention of the “Footstep” i can prove that no one, other than my friends, actually reads it.)
I dunno though. I am sure there are people who are like that. . .Oh well. . .
Well, since I almost never talk about myself – no.
Not that I don’t have a big ego (I’m working on that) it’s just that I try not to reveal it here.
Depends on how much you use it, who can read it, and how personal you get.
I never thought about it that way, but I guess it makes sense! Well, with Xanga anyway. I have myspace and facebook as well, but I only get on those to keep in touch with all of my friends here at college and back home.
Yeah, I think it takes a bit of an ego to maintain a Xanga. I don’t assume people will be interested, but I leave it out there for ‘em just in case.
I think that it depends on the people. There are certainly some very self-absorbed people on social networking sites, but there are some equally self-absorbed people who don’t have any such site. Some people just post about themselves for fun and don’t care if they don’t establish a readership.
It’s online, it’s not as if people will find you in person. So why not talk to random strangers you’ll never meet?
It depends. I use mine for encouragment and I usually include a Bible study type thing.
I would say yes in some ways and no in other ways.
i fucking rule. goddamn.
If my footprints are any indication, no one gives a rat’s behind what I have to say, and I don’t really care. I quit making personal comments and started just putting up photos and emails people send me, so at least when my kids are checking their own xanga sites, they have something to do.
sort of but not really. for me, i’ve never been able to keep up with a hand-written diary or anything and with xanga i actually update mainly cause it seems easier. i honestly don’t really care if other people read my site, it’s nice to kow that some do. but it’s not like the world is gonna end if no one comes.
It takes a small degree of self-aborption, but not a lot. Those that disagree, quit kidding yourselves. You write everyday about your own personal lives, without questioning whether or not people really care to read it. If it was just a form of self-expression, all of your posts would be private.
Nothing is as bad as myspace. That takes a ton of self-absorption. The whole idea of it is to get as many friends as possible, in a pathetic attempt to appear popular.
I post to keep family and friends updated on life. That’s about it. Not that my life is interesting by any means. Late 20′s, married, my kids have tails. Yeah BORING and yet they wonder why I don’t call…
Huh. Maybe that’s why I rarely update. I’m not self-absorbed enough. I should work on that…
eh.
question
how do u get rid of a crick in ur neck?
Yes..
Especially those who have an Xanga, a facebook, a myspace, a profile on AIM, etc etc… All complete with “About Me” sections, “How Well Do you Know Me” quizzes and about 20 pictures just of their face in different angles.
Sometimes I think it’s a little much.. I try not to get too involved.
Maybe to some extent.. I for one actually DO find other people’s business very interesting, so I do enjoy reading blogs. Although I imagine not everyone is like that.
And not all blogs are necessarily supposed to be interesting.. some are to vent, some are to spread a message, share an idea.. that’s the beauty of them.. they don’t need to be captivating all the time, and I think the creators acknowledge that.
Yeah it does, but think, if you ever get really despressed and decide to off yourself you can start with all your networking sites.
By the time you get to yourself you will probably be too spent to finish up.
No.
no, some would write even if no one read.
Through out my many years of dealing with people, it usually takes someone with ego to say “Look that man has ego”. So its not the average xanagaer that has ego, but probably him. And by my own logic me, but i knew that coming into this.
Maybe it takes a certain lack of social skills so that we post here online and make friends in ways we might not be otherwise able to do?
no, i personally don’t care if anyone reads my site…it me bitching and trying to sort things out in my head. Its considerably safer than a regular diary. none of my friends know i have xanga.
Plus alot of my songs and poetry are up for review every week or so…..the pple who are suscribed to me usually write somthing back about.
but w/e
does it matter if we are self absorbed?
<3
Nope. It’s a godsend for keeping in touch with family across the world.
yup
I know I’m arrogant, I know I’m egotistic.
But I’m humble with that.
I’m just as stupid and selfish as everyone else.
Hell, just look at my xanga. 1, maybe 2 comments average per post. No-one really cares about the post content either, it’s usually just a reply or a hello.
I still like blogging though
.. I’m interested in people’s lifes, as long as they’re willing to tell about them.
Every one wants to be recognised– Accepted ? ! Or- um – known.. I think its in all of our eagos just some of them show more….
nah. the only reason I update is so I can look back later and remember what I was doing. if someone else is interested, i’m okay with that. if not, that’s all right too.
It depends what is blogged about!!
Yeeah
not really ..not for me anyway
Not everyone ONLY posts stuff that’s ALL about them EVERYTIME and talks about what’s going on in their life..
mmm i think so, but no more than the average person has.
Yay, it does. But I think everyone has the amount of self-absorbtion necessary to have one.
there is an element of truth in there…i don’t know
Haha… probably. I dunno. I would love to think that my personal life is interesting, but I’m guessing not. My last post was about frozen dinners. =P
Umm……..I never really thought about it that way. I mean, I’m quite aware that most people aren’t going to be interested in reading about my life, and I don’t write about my life in a blog for other people’s benefit, I write blogs for my benefit and to get things out, and I could really care less if other people read them or not. So, I wouldn’t call it self-absorbency
-KrIsTiN-
depends on the what they’re writing
i’m sure it’s got that effect on some people, no doubt
no. i only update because i get bored, i need to remind myself to do something, or i’m procrastinating.
I agree with anewtone, there are lots of reasons to post on Xanga. Self-expression of many kinds is obviously the biggest reason. It’s a very healthy thing; better than keeping things all bottled up. Journaling does help the thought process, releases mental energy, helps with ones’ writing skills, promotes social discussion and networking, helps those in the healing process, and provides an outlet for ideas, thoughts, feelings, rants, social reform…on and on. SOME of them can get pretty ego-centric, but I haven’t found that to be the case with most on Xanga. I have seen some of the MySpace and Facebook Journals, mostly teens, (my kids included) and oh, my, are they self-absorbed. It’s that stage of life.
Ha… yes.
I am living proof, unfortunately.
But I don’t think it’s a horrible thing. Everyone is like that to some extent. The web just gives us the opportunity to be really obvious about it, and with the option of anonymity to boot.
no,i just use mine as a journal. i’m not so good with keeping up with a real journal, whereas i’m at the computer all the time, so its easy to just xanga. but, i suppose, that if you posted solely to let everyone else know all about you, then there could be a case made for it.
Maybe an eprop-whore blog, but, when it’s just a journal open to ones friends, no.
Are you trying to say that the details of my every-day life aren’t absolutely fascinating????
Hm. I don’t think so.
yeah, probably
I really think that there is BUT I’m sure the majority of people have to naturally have some interest in themselves…
yes. but then again, who isn’t a little self absorbed?
no. it’s more of therapy for me. just to let out my feelings. i don’t want anyone telling me how im so lucky to have problems. nope, it’s just a release. stress release, maybe.
nawh. i use my xanga for like a journal. i’ve never really wrote anything and want people to read it. some people do come by, and it’s okay with me.
Are you calling me/us self absobed? Oh dear.
I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. I do think people shouldn’t be obsessed with xanga, though. And they should realize that a lot of their posts may not be read.
it depends on the content…
i kinda dont think so. i mean i personally have a xanga because i’m quite sure no one i know is probably going to read it so therefore i’m willing to post more than i would otherwise. i dont care about the rest of the world becasue i dont know them.
Most sites, yes.
No offense, but I always thought that a site like yours would give its owner a bit of an ego trip, no matter what.
depends on your type of site… some yes, but those are usually the ones that whine when they get no or few comments. others are just out there for anyone who cares, and 1/2 the time you don’t even know if someone reads them. unless you check your footprints etc all the time, in which case you are probably the first sort of person…
HUH!!!!
I don’t think so…my xanga isn’t there for everyone else….i don’t do intentioanlly funny posts or anything like that…it is there for me, and i coudln’t care less how many people read me in a day…
oh yeah; very much so. I’m an egotistical maniac and not ashamed to show it hah!
No, not to have one, but to post on it regularly or frequently.
Nope.
Not more than a normal person has. Mine is mostly written for my own benefit (like a diary) and so a select few can read it. Mostly, who cares what I have to say? So…as long as my friends and me can read it, that’s what counts.
Nah
depends what you use it for
Yes, horribly.
If a person has a good sense of ego and has a lot of self-absorption, Xanga is a good answer to the problem. Things about oneself, once written, are no longer puzzling or confusing, things that no one else seems to need to write down or document. It is a diary, to me. May the whole world read it. It is true, too.
The guy probably went to xanga or myspace, did a random search and then clicked on the pictures where people pose in them. What a lameoid and not good journalism. He has such a narrow view of what motivates people.
I blog on xanga because I think too much, but if I don’t write things down I forget them, and unlike a journal, you can NEVER lose Xanga. And I have a Myspace because I’m lazy… when I meet new people, instead of talking about the boring stuff in my life, i.e. what music I’m into and what I do for fun, I just give them the site address.
They’re EFFECTIVE social tools that EVERYBODY can use, it’s just sad that the journalism only sees egolomaniacs.
well i don’t know really. i created mine without the intention of caring if people read it. just as a personal blog. i got mine bc a friend got me into it.
Michael was obviously leaving out the emotional element of posting. Some posts are to inform, some are to ask questions, but others are to express yourself and to get things off of your chest. At that point it usually isn’t related to ego.
definitely!
I think it’s the freedom of letting down your guard. I wouldn’t even call it ego.