well in my humble opinion,  I think flirting is a normal part of ou human social interactions.

However, I read the Quran and Bible and the only thing I see in the Bible says do not lust, do not commit adultry or fornicate.  But the Quran says go not near Adultry, not only don’t commit adultry or fornication, but don’t even go near it.  Don’t put yourself in a situation that could lead to it.  So if I were to base my actions on that only I would then have to look at the intentions of my heart beyond the social interaction.  If I wanted that person as a lover then I am near adultry and in lust.  If I was just leting that person know there is a soft spot in my heart for them and they are my friend then that is not lust.  Men flirt with women as a way of reasuring themselvels that they are acceptable and have self worth.  An ego trip/boost.  They also have a way of flirting that says I want you lustily, which is wrong.  For you commit a greater sin against the society by this action, you break down the walls of trust and allow mistrust to enter the picture.  If you breakdown the fabric of our society then you open the way for greater sins to happen.

Men by default are stand alones.  Women by default are social networkers and group support for one another.

By stand alone, we we work as a team but keep our problems (insecurities, fears, uncertainties etc.) to ourselves.  We do not seek counsel from other men about these things.  We won’t even seek counsel from our mothers.  We are programmed from birth to be MEN!  Strong, Silent, self sufficient, providers, above wants or needs, almost like a God.  Yet when we first arrive here we are quite the opposite of that.  We are weak, needy, dependent, unsure, scared, and uncertain.  But we get programmed to be what is expected of us.  Suttle things are said like be a Man!  Walk it off, take it like a man, grow up, don’t be a little boy about it.  Which gives rise to male flirting as a means of them saying to themselves that they are ok, that if they are verile they are Man!  Only Males have to prove themselves to be accepted as men.

By social networkers and group support, women are able to find acceptance and self esteem from other women.  No woman has to prove to the world that she is a woman.  It is ok for a woman to be unsure, uncertain, scared, weak, and dependent.  Every woman has her relationship verified by other women, (ie, my man does this for me, and I made him do that for me if he wanted me to be his, etc)  men won’t do this at all.  Every woman can get instant verification of her looks and social acceptance by dressing up and going out in public.  As my daughter once said in a discussion on a topic simular to this one, ” A woman with the right set of tits can rule the world”.  Which is a sad state of affairs for men.  We are so lacking in acceptance that we would let a few pounds of body fat rule us or direct us in our daily affairs.  A woman that flirts with us makes us socially acceptable, gives us our self worth.  We become our Job title or we become our spouse, or we have no self worth and then we become abusers, seeking acceptance, self-worth, status, etc.  We become all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons.

We as males need elder guidance, we need to be programed from birth to accept direction from the elder males.  Women are taught this from birth.  Listen to your mother, go ask your mother, your mother will tell you about it, etc.  But male children get told to figure it out for your self.  Women for what ever reason do not take the time that they take with their daughters to talk to and teach the male child to seek wisdom from the elder males.  If this were done then the need for self esteem from flirting or sexual conquest or spouse abuse would not be as great as it is.

Which would then keep us all or at least most of us safe from going near the sins of adultry or fornication, for we would know our self worth from childhood.

But keep in mind that this is just the observations of my lifetime and experiences, yours are undoubtably different and i accept that as should you.

Peace to all

AlfredMG