February 25, 2007
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Eulogies
Australia’s Catholic Church has given new rules concerning eulogies at funeral masses. They do not want people mentioning sex or drunkenness. Apparently some people giving eulogies would focus on the deceased’s ability to drink or ”romantic conquest.”
The move was made to “ensure the funeral mass keeps its main focus as an act of worship to God and a place for prayers for the deceased.” Here is the link: Link
Would you rather go to a funeral that focused on the deceased or on God?
Comments (103)
God
A mixture of both?
haha this is my 3rd time being first..
But I’m not going to go crazy!!
I’M NOT CRAZY!!!! AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
A combination me thinks
Yay! Grandma is in heaven with God!!
What if you’re at Ron Jeremy’s funeral? What then?
ok maybe both..
Both…
What if you’re at Ron Jeremy’s funeral? What then?
Posted 2/25/2007 3:12 PM by Xcholo4u
Ha! Well… a lot of them did scream, “Oh God!” So it could be incorporated. LOL
Depends on whether the deceased had anything to do with God.
A funeral is supposed to be about the person, so, my vote is the person’s life. God is important too, but we go to church to hear a sermon, not a funeral.
The dead person should be alot more interesting than a celestial being who we still can’t quite point our finger at.
’nuff said…
If God was a major part of their life, I would want to hear about God. But if He wasn’t, than I don’t. So I guess it’s sort of a combination of both depending on who the person was..
I would rather not go to a funeral. Funerals are celebrations that a person has died held by the people who should be the most upset that the person is dead. It is stupid concept that I always try to avoid. I have told my family and friends that if they insist on having a funeral for me then it had better be held at freaking carnival with moon walks and games and ferris wheels and such that way there is no pretending that it is for any other purpose than celebrating the fact that I am finally dead.
I want to hear about the person, but then pray to God.
Definitely the deceased.
I don’t think the dearly departeds’ ability to drink to excess or spread immorality (not to mention STD’s) is something to be celebrated. That’s the sort of thing one does at a wake, not at a funeral. If you are having a funeral in the church, then you must play by the church’s rules. Pretty simple.
i couldn’t be a yagoogalizer. there is no way i’d be a good yagoogalie
This post has been up for 20 minutes and the first page isn’t even filled? Weird…
But to answer the question, definitely the deceased. God doesn’t need to be so self-centered all the time.
The deceased, if your choosing God isn’t it the same going “okay screw you dead guy I’m gonna pray to some divine being instead?” I mean aren’t we supposed to go to a funeral cause someones… dead? And aren’t we suppose to care about it? You can pray to God whenever, go to church whenever. I think its more important to be worrying about the dead guy first since this funeral happens once.
idk no one who cares aboot the dehd
Both. But especially the deceased.
The deceased.. The funeral is for them, after all.
Most of the funerals I have been to have blended both very well. I have also been to funerals on both sides of the pendulum where only God and the “ways of this world” were mentioned (someone was trying to get a point across to those sitting in the seats) and funerals where only the person is mentioned in a very basic way. I can honestly say the blended are much better bringing God, the person’s life, and music into the picture (not to mention pictures). The one where they left the person out of the funeral made me furious and physically sick for his brothers and sisters who had not control over what was being done. The “only the person” one just made me jumpy because you know the person’s life, you know that he/she hadn’t accepted Christ, and the consequences for that decision just aren’t good.
Just as a note: I wouldn’t mind being at mine (living). It is suppose to be a fun, musically enriched, with a shot of something, funeral also with how God has worked in my life. I think it will be one worth attending.
You can go overboard both ways. I just had a funeral service where the pastor who served previously to me came back to share the message. The deceased’s son and son-in-law both gave tender remembrances and a challenging presentation of the gospel. No more needed to be said, but this former pastor rambled on for over 40 minutes. People actually walked out on him. If you have something to say and you can’t say it in less that 15 minutes. DON’T SAY IT AT A FUNERAL.
Um, the person died. Not god. The funeral is to honor and respect the dead, so I guess I can understand keeping out sex and drunkeness. But it’s for the person, not God.
A funeral is a opportunity to honor someone who is dear, and all his or her romantic conquests, victories, celebrations.
the deceased.
Yay dead people! Don’t let god steal your moment of sadness! D:
Both. A funeral without God is too bleak. And I certainly wouldn’t want to sit around lauding someone’s sexual or drinking prowess. I hope I’m remembered for something more noble than that.
When I die, I hope people can talk about how I really had a relationship with God and that helped me to live a life full of love and hope. Also that I lead everyone around me to a closer relationship with christ and not a closer relationship with a dead religion. I hope I can live a life worth talking about at my funerel.
well a little of both…but more God
Difficult to say, this this is what’s going on in Australia. I suppose the Australian Catholics are responding to a real problem, but I don’t know since I’m not there. This is a local matter, and we shouldn’t assume that what works from an American mindset would also work for Australia.
Youy know, that’s what pissed me the fuck off about my aunt’s funeral; the priest didn’t know her so he just rambled about God and Jesus and Heaven for half an hour, the fuckhead.
The Deceased.
definitely the deceased
i can hear a sermon at church
Ok, I think it’s stupid that they made it a rule, but… what kind of weirdo is at a funeral and says “I sure am going to miss Joe. I remember this one time he got really, really drunk and then had sex with a bunch of people…”
God
Both.
Wow, I’m amazed that someone said God for the first post. I figured that would be a rare answer…
Anyway. I think funerals should focus on the deceased, not God. And as for my funeral, it better not be religious. I don’t want a preacher messing up my death.
both but more god
a balance of the two. when my grandfather died, my dad gave the eulogy. I was only ten but I still remember how he did it. He’d come to all us kids…(7 of us grandkids) and asked us our favorite memories of him…and he told them at the funeral, and some of his famous jokes, and sang this bizarro song that he’d pulled out of nowhere..it was the grandpa song, it was awesome. Then, his favorite songs were sung, and the mood was kept light and happy, and God centered because he’d been a minister…then a short presentation of the gospel because Lord knows how many unbelievers were actually there..lol.
bottom line, the church will take any opportunity to share the gospel, but it isn’t always appropriate. But that was how my Grandpa wanted it, and it was done.
i would think that it was sad if the only thing that the person had amounted to was being able to drink a lot or have sex. i would hope that they had done something more with their life than just that.
Deceased. HELLO!
haha. The deceased. Who died again?
oh wait, my bad. jesus died. i forgot.
I really think it needs to be a mix of both, if the deceased was a Christian, and specifically his/her relationship with God, and how that was shown in their life. That’s how I hope mine is, anyway.
The deceased. Hopefully it won’t turn out like The Weatherman, but good luck
A funeral mass should focus on God. A service is entirely different; it can focus oin what you choose. Someoen who chooses to have a funeral mass has chosen to put the focus of funeral mass on God though.
deceased
Not really apples and apples here…
both.
*yawn* just make sure it had a time limit (20 minutes) or i’ll start doing cartwheels and bouncing off the walls.
probably both, but only if the deceased were a Christian. A funeral is about the person who died though, so it should almost be more about them. Again, though, if they had a firm belief in God, and if God were a part of their life and it was obvious to all who knew the deceased, then it could be about God.
Here’s the thing. You said funeral MASS. That means it’s offered to God for the dead person in question. Thus, things that God wouldn’t want (The profane usage of sex, the abuse of drink) shouldn’t be where we are offering to God. I’m not sure if you understand what’s going on in his situation, Dan.
Do we have to choose?
preferably the interaction of the two
both
The deceased.
Deceased.
Both. One depends on the other, I guess…
deceased
The deceased. There is no god.
Both. God is important, but it’s the person that the whole funeral is for. They need to be remembered, too.
The deceased… but, of course, I’m not a Christian… and I believe that even if you did pray for them, there’d really be no use in it if they’re already dead…
I’d agree to keep the focus soley on God if we were allowed to drink during the service….
the deceased…
It should depend on how religious the deceased was.
I’d uh…rather not go.
Depends on the person. My grandmother’s funeral was perfect…she was involved in her church for almost her entire life, and was involved with the choir for 40 years. Two different ministers did parts of it, and both had stayed with my grandmother when they first came to the Church, so they had personal stories. Members of the choirs my grandmother had directed, accompanied, sang with came back and sang the songs that she had requested be sung at her funeral. My cousin read a poem she had asked to be read. Another cousin did the “eulogy” as a collection of memories that the 7 grandkids remembered about my Grammie. It was all so right that I couldn’t help but smile the whole time. The it was off to the graveyard with family & Grammie’s close friends to watch her be lowered to the bagpipes while the minister made a comparison linking religion and science. It all ended with a beautiful reception packed full of people my grandmother had influenced.
A couple weeks later I attended my great-great-aunt’s funeral, and I wanted to kill the minister. Though he had met Viola, he spent most of the time talking about financial contributions to the church (those she had given, and also almost asking for more money to be given in remembrance of her), and completely did *not* mention her daughter-in-law when naming all of the family–twice. For this funeral, more emphasis seemed to be put on trying to use their sound system, projection screens & efforts to get money than to remember what a kind and gentle woman had just died.
At my funeral, let God be mentioned to give comfort to those who believe, but let it be kept to a minimum as I do not serve. Let people remember me as I lived, and rejoice in having known me, not weep for my death. I think funerals should be a celebration of someone’s life, not a reminder of their death.
I dunno but as long as there’s a caterer it’s all good. My funeral is gonna be a damn good party.
The deceased.
the deceased. If their life happened to be focused on God and he is worked in that’s just bonus. Funerals are meant to honor the dead though
The irish found a way to not go on about sexual conquests or drunkeness of the deceased at funerals.
A priest for a drunken irish lout asked if anyone had anything nice to say about the deceased. The church was silent. He pleaded, did ANYONE have anything to say NOT about penis size or the ability to drink a fifth and still get it up?
Anyone?
A woman stood up in the back.
“His brother was WORSE.”
Problem solved.
The deceased. Couldn’t care less about people’s supersitutions.
deceased. What if the person was atheist?
I want mine to focus on God. The mention of me will be what He did in my life. I want it to be an all out worship ceremony, with praise bands and all. I want it to be a kind of last way for me to reach out to the people who knew me for Christ. I want a message of the gospel given in an amazing way by someone the people I knew aren’t used to hearing.
I want my death to serve the Lord, and my funeral as well.
Livin’ free,
Heath
I don’t like funerals. I’d be somewhere grieving or dead.
the deceased.
What happens at Anna Nicole Smith’s funeral? Who’s gonna focus on Gawd when you have the real sex appeal in front of ya???
*BURN*
…the deceased. Honestly.
It’s their funeral.
A healthy combination of both. If you think about it, death’s purpose is to remind us all that life is short. Death should make us focus on the important things, God definitely being up there on that list. But at the same time, you can’t attend a funeral without thinking of the deceased and wanting to remember them in good light.
Either way, this is a depressing topic.
Both, but for goodness sake! It’s a FUNERAL. A funeral isn’t supposed to be about God, it’s supposed to be about the deceased! I mean, you can go overboard talking about the person (like their private life and stuff), but it’s still about the person.
Er?
The deceased. Couldn’t care less about people’s supersitutions.
Posted 2/25/2007 7:42 PM by PunkAssNothing
Haha, just realized I misspelled that. That’s pretty pathetic for a word I use that often.
Should mention I’m not particularly interested in hearing about their drinking or sex life either.
The deceased, duh.
A mixture of both.. but I do agree with the rule on not focusing on drunken routs and sexual conquests.. there’s a lot more to life than those ….. pursuits.
Both but definitely a focus on the deceased.
the deceased.
a rare glimpse of my serious face:
i always feel that the best funerals are celebrations of the deceased person’s life, not a lamentation for their death.
someone once told me, “Don’t cry for him. He’s not in that box.”
i dont know if i believe it, but it’s comforting.
the deceased… the funeral is meant to recap on their life and achievments… and like miguel said, what about ron jeremy? i dunno, what did they say at smith’s funeral?
Can’t we do both? I mean, not to FOCUS on those topics makes sense. Yet, how offended i have been at services that barely MENTION the deceased! I get so angry. Tasteful. HOw to legislate that? oh well.
DECEASED.
I’d be pissed if it focused only on God. Funerals are to celebrate that person’s life. It should be completely about the person.
Wouldn’t a funeral service that was focused on God, rather than the deceased be a church service where you happen to bury a dead person after?
It all depends…What importance does a funeral hold for that person’s family? I hope that my family cremates me (its a lot cheaper…LOL) and has a HUGE party! Funerals are so depressing.
The deceased. It is his or her passing, not Gods.
I don’t think the funeral has to exclusively focus on one and not the other. However, people come to a funeral (some anyway) to grieve the loss of a loved one. I think it’s abusing the situation and neglecting the mourners to use the funeral as an opportunity to jam God down their throats, though I don’t have a problem with mentioning him here and there.
Largely, it should be up to the deceased (if (s)he specified in his or her will) or the chief mourner (spouse, mother, oldest child, etc).
The deceased. That’s the point of the funeral.
I think it should depend on the person. sex and drukenness does not need to be dicussed at the funeral. youre there to pay your respects, not trash the person.
The deceased
both. I think it good to honor the memory of the one who died, and talk about God. If the Eulogy was just about God, I hate to say it, but few people would show up.
Either focus on God(s) or the deceased? Can do both.
Rules are just sth. written on a paper. If no one wants to follow it is just the same as no rules there.
The above mentioned one is rather more a “moral” one which we Chinese people used to have so many of them. Now? I dare not answer.
I had ever visited a funeral (not at church) held by Christians. In fact, the deceased is not a Christian but we sing the songs like we do in church. It was her daughter and son and the church fellows who held it. And it turned up that more than half of the people who attended the funeral are Christians and most of them and me never met the deceased before.
Focused on the deceased. It’s a rememberance of the person who died. God has no place in it, unless the person was uber religious or something.
I see some people are saying that the emphisis should on the dead guy ‘cus he might be athisest. If he was, He wouldn’t be having a MASS!!!!!!! It’s a MASS people!!!
that’s a very important detail.