February 26, 2007
-
Toddler Swimsuit
Here is a message I got in my message box:
I have a question that I would like other’s opinions on. I have a 9 month old daughter (her picture is on my site, she’s super cute) and I bought her a two piece swimsuit for this summer. It has a ruffle on the bottom and a triangle top with butterflies. I could send you the picture if you would like. Anyway, her father has decided that there is “no way in hell” she is going to wear it. He says that a two piece bathing suit is too revealing and even though she has nothing to reveal now she will someday and he wants to set a precedent. He said that parenting should be black and white and there is no reason why you can’t establish a rule when a child is 1 year old and it stand until they are 18. I usually give on his “rules” (example: She can’t wear clothes that say anything on the butt), but this one is a little over the top for me. What do you think?
Is it inappropriate for a toddler to wear a two piece swimsuit?
Comments (229)
first haha
I think that’s a little ridiculous.
not really. but if your on a beach of pediphiles. yeah. dad seems a little overprotective
sweet top five
No.
a toddler doesn’t even have breasts, lol.
Not really inappropriate, but is it that important for the toddler to wear a two-piece? It does set something of a precedent.
Not really anything too wrong with a toddler going around naked either, but I’m not thrilled about it.
Overall, there are more important things to push/keep your stand on.
Noo.
first to say anything meaningful! =)
yup
‘oh but it’s just a baby’
Don’t make me slap you, (next 50 people to post), it’s way more complicated than that
I agree with esch.
Yes. Modesty starts at birth, in my opinion. There should not be separate standards for toddlers and teenagers. The habits a toddler learn will carry over into the teenage years.
Methinks the dad protesteth too much. Sounds like he’s got more than a screw loose. Yes, a toddler can get away with a two piece. Geez.
I see the dad’s side of the argument more clearly. I think it sets a precedent for the mom just as much as the daughter (not that the mom can’t wear 2 pieces but that she isn’t the only who is going to be looking at her daughter). I wouldn’t be vehemently opposed to someone allowing their daughter to do so, but I wouldn’t be wild about my daughter wearing a 2 piece. My wife is with me on this so I guess we won’t have to worry about it.
There are some that are tasteful (tankini’s) and some that are not. I prefer not to dress my toddler in regular two-piece suits. Some of the swimsuits (one and two-piece) are just too grown up for girls of toddler age. In my opinion, it’s just another way that society is feeding the frenzy of children growing up way too fast.
I also agree with esch. Well said.
“I could send you the picture if you would like” hahahahah. i bet you said yes. you old perv.
Who’s going to hit on a baby?
Though everyone has different parenting styles. The baby who wears a bikini will dress like that when they’re older. So I think he makes sense.
But honestly, if you’re going to be a good parent to prevent that when they’re older and actually have a choice to make about it, then I don’t think its a problem.
Well first of all, her father had a right to say something. I wouldn’t let her walk around with a triangle top on. Tankinis are fine though. =/
Plus there are pedophiles and sickos walking around.
well I guess i can see where he’s coming from on this, although it’s pretty extreme. I would say just go with the flow on it, it’s not really a big deal.
Given that kids love to squirm around whilst playing and such…stick with the one piece…too many sickos and too much potential for a lil’ sneak-peak action.
I think that’s pretty stupid. No teenage kid is going to look at their baby pictures of them in a two-piece and say, “But you let me do it then!” And even if they did, you just say, “Well, you’re not doing it now.” It doesn’t take a lot of rationalization to see how that argument would be comparing apples and oranges.
Please.
if you (or your husband) are going to make her wear a one-piece until she is 18, she might kill herself. just a warning.
Yeah, some one pieces are a little racy as well. I guess it all depends on what you buy.
And if you start the “cute” triangle tops, tube tops, and short shorts from young, it will carry unto the teen years, when you’ll find it not so acceptable.
Well, I don’t know. As the mother of a 3 and 1 year old (both girls), I see all of these cute two piece suits on the racks, and I’m like “Wow!! That’s really cute!” But then at the same time, there’s a part of me that thinks that they’re sexy too… and there is NOTHING about a toddler that should EVER make me think sexy… EVER. That’s just weird.
Protect the children… Its not like he wants to keep her clothed from head to toe. Teach a child in the way they SHOULD go and they shall not depart from it. Go ahead DAD!
More fathers should teach their daughters to respect their bodies so that they wont allow men to mistreat them.
But ugh dad you might want to teach the lesson when the child can comprehend it. but I see the motive and I support it.
I think Dad is a little old-fashioned.
No! Of course not! Even my mother bought me a two-piece swimsuit when I was a toddler – and she is extremely conservative! (I looked adorable, btw…)
My father didn’t allow us to wear two pieces, really short skirts, etc at all growing up and, honestly, it sucked at the time but I am thankful for it now. Although I am not nearly as strict with my own dress code now that I am 22, the idea of modesty is much more modest than many girls my age who dressed any way they wanted to growing up – including 2 piece bathing suits. It’s not bad to set a precedent at a young age. You’ll have a young girl who will have a greater grasp on what it means to be modest as she gets older. That’s important. it may seem silly… but it is pretty beneficial.
Interesting. I see the dad’s viewpoint. At what age will the child need to switch to 1-piece? Wouldn’t it be strange to turn age 12, then suddenly not be allowed to wear the 2-piece anymore. The dad must feel that it is easier to set the precident now. If he feels that strongly about it, then the wife should not make it an issue.
I totally think that modest should start young. If you don’t want you teenagers busting with boobs to be wearing a similar suit, than don’t get them started. Its too hard to suddenly say its not appropriate anymore -they won’t understand.
I work with babies everyday and I hate it when they come in with stuff like that on. While it may be cute I think the baby (no, she isnt a toddler til 18 mos) should be in a one-piece. Less sun screan to put on, lol. So I say no, but that is just my opinion.
My mom always told me if I had the body for it, wear it. She also taught me morals and values though.
Is she married to Bush? Hello extreme conservatism.
Anti-two pieces has nothing to do with respecting your body; if anything, he doesn’t respect it since he just wants to hide it. Hmmm…middle eastern?
i was never allowed to. and i didnt understand it! luv ya and god bless
lol
probably
That’s over the top….
I think it is a good idea to be consistant in the rules. Why does a toddler need a two piece bathing suit? Besides a one piece at that age can be more comfortable as the top won’t ride up with nothing there to hold it in place. When she is older and potty training, a two piece might be easier for her to get in and out of to prevent oopses from happening, but even then a tanki would be a better choice.
No way. I remember viewing pictures of myself when I was small and I always either wore a 2 piece or just nothing. Haha.
It’s a little inappropriate for that WOMAN to be questioning her husband.
BETTER GET OUT THE STICK.
(mostly kidding)
These days, if I had a toddler girl, I’d be super careful about what she wears in public, even if it’s “sooooo cute.”
But seriously, first the wife wants to choose how to dress the kids, and the next thing you know, she’ll want to decide on how to spend his money. AH! When will it stop? It will never stop.
Might sound a little over-protective, but I agree with the Dad. And why can’t a one-piece still be cute for a 9-month-old? I’m sure she can still find a one-piece with ruffles and butterflies.
its not innappropriate, but it makes sense because later when boys can start noticing girls a one piece makes more sense than a two piece.
well.. i guess the father doesn’t want his daughter to end up like the girls on tv =O
which is very reasonable..
i don’t feel it’s appropriate. first, i don’t think we need to dress toddlers like little teenagers. second, why would you want to allow the possibility of such a small child to get more UV exposure, and the associated possibility of severe sunburn which leads to skin cancer, at such an early age?
my sisters would take their kids (boys and girls) to the pool slathered in sunblock, dressed in swim trunks and baby surfer “rash-guard” tops and fisherman bucket-hats to keep them protected from the sun.
No; I wore two piece swimsuits when I was really young and I’m not a slut.
Eh, I’m ambivalent on this one, since I can see both sides of the argument. But the thing that strikes me more than anything about this message is that the dad thinks parenting is all black and white. You can tell this HAS to be his first child. But I don’t want to be hard on him. He’s doing what he thinks is right to protect his daughter in later years. No one should fault him for that. I’ve known plenty of dads who weren’t protective enough and their daughters have lived the consequences.
if the father honestly thinks he will keep his daughter in a one piece till she’s 18 he’s crazy..
I agree with– Ladyj3
one should not give in to rules…but willingly submit to them.
If it covers even what she does have (there are still nipples there) then it should be fine. I have pretty conservative parents and my mom put me in one when I was around 5. And when I look a the photos I dont think I looked perverted or anything. Dad is protective though. *eyes rolling* dads.
Anti-two pieces has nothing to do with respecting your body; if anything, he doesn’t respect it since he just wants to hide it. Hmmm…middle eastern?
Posted 2/26/2007 3:51 PM by ruralhippie
You set up a false dichotomy my friend. Is everything that you respect necessarily done in public fora?
I wouldn’t let my toddler do that.
It’s just a swim suit. I don’t think it really matters that much, but if it were me I’d probably go with the one piece.
yeah, thats a little ridiculous
Not if they’re a toddler. They have nothing to show off. I guess it depends on the swimsuit, though. I assume you’re not talking about one of those “toddler bikini” things. Those are just weird.
I say, let her wear it. And if you’re worried about your child wanting to wear clothing that runs the risk of exposing parts of their body which are not appropriate when they’re older, just tell them no.
I dont see it as inappropriate, but my kids (in the far future) arent gonna wear bikinis at age 3. I want my kids to think about things besides how they look in a swim suit, and though they wont care when they are young…if you start em in bikinis, theyre always gonna wanna wear them.
it’s not inappropriate, but i can totally see where dad’s coming from…
absolutely. it is also appropriate for a 9 month old to wear no clothes except a diaper. the issue is sun exposure, not sex appeal.
if her husband will not change the rules that he establishes for a 1-year old for a young woman of 18, then he is beyond ignorant. what are appropriate restrictions for toddlers are not the same as for pre-teens which are not the same as for adolescents which are not the same as for young adults.
if the rules never change, how will the young person ever mature? learn to choose? test their wings and learn to fly?
i think herr husband had better take another look at the calendar > that sort of thinking didn’t make sense over 100 years ago, and makes less sense now in light of what we know about human development.
imho.
I think it’s inapropriate for any woman to wear a 2 peice bathing suit.
it just attracts men to the wrong things.
nooooooooooo!
There are a lot of freaks out there..
Which is one of the reasons why I would say it’s not a good idea for a toddler to wear a two-piece..
And it’s dumb!
Yay! Modesty!
OMG! I think this is being way too analyzed…if we are going to take it to the extreme then lets go all the way with it…if its too risque for a 1 year old to wear a cute bikini to go swimming then it’s also waayy to risque for the 1 year old to run around in her diaper..better just keep her locked up in her house just incase she goes wild and pulls her dress off when no one is looking…yes they do that.
the way I see it, she can’t even comprehend “respecting her body” or anything like that and being that she is a baby and she seems to have overly protective, loving parents I’m sure she wont be going to the beach without her mother right there beside her…so I think its completely fine…I do agree that once she gets older she should be taught what is respectable and what isnt but what does it matter now…. parenting is absolutely not black and white…dad needs to get a grip!
Is it okay for the little girl to go topless? After all, she doesn’t have anything to show off.
While I think that the solution to this issue is pretty obvious, it brings us to a bigger issue, and that’s one of parenting.
It isn’t the 60′s anymore. Just because he’s got a dick doesn’t mean that his opinion matters more than yours. You can’t let this guy ‘put his foot down’ on any part of parenting without consulting you first, and treating your views on things with respect. In other words, relationships are about compromise, and that includes parenting.
No. It is not inappropriate for a toddler to wear a two-piece bathing suit. They are still babies (practically).
In my view, though, it is not very cute. It annoys me greatly to go to the pool and see a toddler (or younger or older) wearing something more revealing than I am. It also annoys me greatly when because they have nothing to reveal, their suit keeps falling off. It might be a toddler, but I still don’t want to see them halfway naked. No, it’s not inappropriate, but it is definitely not appropriate either.
And I do agree with the dad. If you allow the child to wear revealing clothing now, you’re just setting them up to wear (more) revealing clothes in the future. Prime example is me. My parents let me run around naked in the back yard when I was little. Now, I can’t stand clothes. I wear them because I have to, but I honestly HATE clothes. *grar*
Yes. Plain and simple!
I agree with the dad. There’s nothing to reveal *now* but why teach her that it’s ok to wear revealing clothes and have to battle when she is older about it? Maybe you can compromise. Two-piece suits must be accompanied by a t-shirt …
I’m tending to think no.
It’s not inappropriate. It is kinda weird though. I’d say get ‘em a one piece, although that’s for actually learning how to swim. So once they start actually swimming they should be in one pieces, but they could go completely naked for before that for all I care.
I meant no it’s NOT appropriate. So yes.
Even if she wears a one piece now, she’ll be a teenager eventually. She’ll wear a two piece eventually. It’s not really inappropriate, she’s a toddler for goodness sake. Geez, man. A two piece for a toddler is cute, it’s not made to be sexual or any shit like that. A newborn on a hot day.. won’t you let them crawl around in their diaper? If not, then why do they show it on the diaper commercial, eh? God.
yeah i don’t see a problem with it….
I’m with utlawgirl on this one. I don’t think you necessarily become less modest because you wore a two-piece as a child. I went back and forth as a kid. If the parents make a big stink, it will be a big stink. If you just let it be what it is: a bathing suit she probably won’t fit in after a few months, it seems pretty harmless.
i DONT think that rules set as a child should carry over to when they’re a teenager. parenting is an entire life thing, not just age birth thru 18. i never wore two pieces when i was a kid (im first generation born america, my parents were pretty conservative), so yes, i felt more hesitant than most girls when i wore my first two piece in jr high. but now thats all i wear. the thing is, the rules the parents set will never be the ONLY thing the child thinks about, & they shouldnt be. a toddler can get away with two piece, but that does not necessarily mean that they will become skanks. its not a black & white thing.
Gee as long as the swimsuit doesn’t have sequins and feathers sort of like the way the parents of the late Jon Benet Ramsey dressed her, I see nothing wrong with a two piece swimsuit for a toddler. Gee whiz, people are so obsessed with sex. Just wait until that daddy’s little girl is dating age! Yikes!
Toddler two pieces.. I’m assuming you’re not talking about those string bikinis some strange six year olds wear. Yeah, really.
If I had a one year old daughter I would prefer that she wear a one piece but I wouldn’t have a heart attack over the matter.
It’s not so much that it’s inappropriate, but if the toddler wears it, then at some point they’re going to have to deliberately make the child start wearing something more modest. And when is that? At the start of puberty? Won’t be easy, if the kid has worn the same style all her life.
Yeah, I want to get some of that 9 months old ass.
no- she won’t even remember this! that is silly. i do not have children of my own, but i do have sisters and lots of female cousins, and i was raised in a strict household as well. however, i do not think that you should regulate what swimsuit your daughter wears until she is old enough for it to get her into trouble, say around 6th or 7th grade.
depends…do you want her to marry a mormon later on or a regular sexual pervert later on…..no offense to perverted mormons
I’m not sure it’s necessary for a toddler to be wearing a two-piece, unless it’s a tankini (the tank top swim top). Adults wear them because they want to show skin, really, that’s what it is. They have an opportunity to show off their bodies and be proud of their fat-less state… or somewhat fat-less state… or they have no sense because they shouldn’t be wearing a two-piece. Anyway, a toddler has no curves, and what? Is trying to wear a bra top like they do? Yes they’re cute, but it’s not very modest and sometimes it’s hard enough getting kids to be modest.
ewww, toddlers.
i can’t stand kids
once they’re out of the baby stage, i’ll put ‘em up for adoption
first of all, babies get their butts wiped in public bathrooms for all to see. I don’t get what the big deal is. I think it’s cute. i was allowed to wear bikinis until I was like 4, and then not again until I was 18. I understood why…and now I don’t even like bikinis and my hubby keeps wanting me to get one.
To me, not letting your toddler wear a two piece swimsuit sounds more reasonable than not letting your toddler wear clothes with words on the butt.
Even though I disagree with what he said about parenting being black and white. I think there should be some grey areas. But I really don’t know diddly squat about parenting, so you can feel free to ignore that.
no
I’m more concerned with why this freaks dad out so much and if he’s this bad now, what’s he gonna be like with a housefull of teenage girls? I see a control freak.
You are the one who gave birth to her. Yes, parenting should be equal. Which means you shouldn’t have to always listen to him on everything.
She’s ONE. Just keep an eye on her. She WON’T remember the bathing suit anyway! And in this day and age, if she’s going to wear a one piece until she’s 18, she’s going to get made fun of big time unless she’s actually doing competitive swimming.
He’s upset because he wants his daughter to have some respect for herself when she gets older.
She’s upset that he’s upset.
She doesn’t have a foot to stand on so she should let go.
Only if one part of the parenting unit disagrees. Parents must be unified in all decisions.
No.
Mmmyep.
Protect the children… Its not like he wants to keep her clothed from head to toe. Teach a child in the way they SHOULD go and they shall not depart from it. Go ahead DAD!
More fathers should teach their daughters to respect their bodies so that they wont allow men to mistreat them.
But ugh dad you might want to teach the lesson when the child can comprehend it. but I see the motive and I support it.
Posted 2/26/2007 3:44 PM by Ladyj3
Exactly.
… The baby is 9 months old!
How the heck is it “too revealing” for a 9-month-old?!
I think it’s cute. =3
Might this be Dad’s first daughter? ;-]
My Grandmother was the strict one when I was younger… she would never allow me to wear a two piece and I had to wear a shirt over my one piece! However, that’s not how I intend to raise my children. *Shrug* To each his own!
i see both sides.
I wasn’t allowed to wear a bikini until i was MARRIED! and I stuck to that…I only just bought a red bikini 2 years ago.
I think that being a baby, as cute as a little ruffled bikini would be, a one-piece would be more practical – especially now with how strong the sun is! even with sunblock, you still should be covered up as much as you can…
but this is one argument I’d cut your losses as the mom and buy a cute one piece bathing suit for your daughter – with a ruffled butt of course!
*HUGS*
uhh yeah?? what kind of mother is that?? its like she wants her to grow up to be a slut D: or paris hilton. tho they are one in the same.
The father should have the final say in what his daughters wear, since men have totally different minds than woman.
While it does seem harmless and cute, I see the dad’s point. When societal standards are impressed upon us to the point that we dress our youngest children in “revealing” clothing, I think we need to take pause.
I don’t think so, but I can see how some would think so. And I think it’s the wife responsibility to honor her husband’s wish in this matter.
This father may have honorable intentions, however, with that amount of strictness, he is inviting this child to rebel as soon as she can. Dad may have some hangups here that will cause problems in the future.
if its a cute bathing suit, why not? i had a two piece when i was a lil kid!… and btw.. pants with words or w/e on the butt is cute… and not that big of a deal…
I can see where the dad is coming from.
Yes. Modesty starts at birth, in my opinion. There should not be separate standards for toddlers and teenagers. The habits a toddler learn will carry over into the teenage years.
Posted 2/26/2007 3:39 PM by PurpleFire40
Truthat.
But really I think it might be a little over the top. It’s pretty hard to restrain a girl from wearing a two piece before she’s 18. Truthfully, I think the dad needs to ease up before his cute little girl becomes a rebelious teen with needs of freedom.
All my girl friends were allowed to go around without any sort of top before they developed anything. I’d rather let my daughter wear a two-piece than that.
To the Mother:
Excuse me, but as an old woman I think I have earned the right to say this: “Shame on you!”
What are you thinking? Why in the world would you go to another man for advice regarding the raising of your husband’s child? Unless Dan is actually a parenting professional, licensed in couseling, you have crossed a line. It is so inappropriate for you to seek another man’s advice for matters regarding your husband and child. And, then, to speak of your husband in such a disparaging way is really disheartening. He must be a man you loved enough to not only marry, but make a family with, yes? If so, doesn’t he deserve a little more respect than this?
Ma’am, you should be thanking your lucky stars for a husband who has the wisdom to see that his daughter is a target. Thank God he loves his daughter enough that he wants to protect her from people who look at your precious baby and see a sex partner. (Yes, America. There are sexual offenders who rape babies.)
Instead of whining to another man about your husband’s “rules,” you should go to him immediately and apologize. Your husband is absolutely correct. Bikinis at 9 months will justify bikinis at 18 months, 24 months, 36 months, and so on, until your Little Angel will always expect a bikini and you will have already compromised her privacy so much that your conscious will be numb to what you are doing to your child.
Sticking to a rule when our children are tiny is not just about training them; it’s also about training ourselves as parents.
Mom, open your eyes and see that her Daddy loves her very much. And, as she grows up he will continue to be the best judge of inapproriate attire, because he knows what it’s like on the other side. He has a male’s perspective. He will always see things you won’t.
Beyond that, he’s her Daddy! He has a God-given wisdom (which he is obviously already trying to use). Trust him. There are times when he needs to say, “That’s Mommy’s place. She knows best,” but this is one of those times when you need to let him be the Dad. You will never regret allowing your husband to be the father.
Best wishes to you and your family. Enjoy your little girl everyday of her life, and please protect her innocence. It is a privilege to be a parent, but a great responsibility, as well.
(By the way, any comment above from anyone who has not raised a daughter from birth to maturity should be taken with a lump of salt.)
Yes. 1. while no one in their right mind would view a child as a sex object, many perverts do. There is no reason to encourage their behavior. 2. At what age do you draw the line? why when you become 4 does something apply that did not at 3; start from the begining and be consistent.
maybe she should wait until she’s a bit older. haha
<3Always,
Nary
No, its not promoting anything bad.
I think that’s pretty stupid. No teenage kid is going to look at their baby pictures of them in a two-piece and say, “But you let me do it then!” And even if they did, you just say, “Well, you’re not doing it now.” It doesn’t take a lot of rationalization to see how that argument would be comparing apples and oranges.
Please.
Hope
Posted 2/26/2007 3:43 PM by HopeElizabeth
What she said.
The dad won’t let her wear clothes with text on the butt, I’m liking him already. I think dressing kids like adults does set a bad precedence especially when it is ‘sexy’ or ‘provocative’ styles. They already have so much pressure sent their way when it comes to their appearance, the longer you can put that off the better. Did you see Little Miss Sunshine, I can just imagine those other girls in the pagaent being scarred for life.
that is pretty ridiculous! when she gets older, it will be understandable, but she doesn’t have anything to reveal right now anyway!! she’ll be right beside daddy the whole time, it’s not a big deal…
I think the father is sort of right if that is something you feel really strongly about. Because then when the kid is 2 you’re still going to let it wear two pieces. Then 3, then 4, then 5. But what about 6? What about when they start to get older enough as girls to understand and to compare their bodies to other girls and to boys? I personally am not strongly against two pieces for any age. But if someone is, why not start the rule as early as possible?
No, that’s stupid, there’s nothing wrong with 2 piece bathing suits.
Yes I believe it is inappropriate. Perverted men are not looking at her thinking, “What a cute little girl”…
I do not think it is wrong,but my 6 yr old niece wore a two piece to the beach and she has little curves already and I saw a man checking her out,I wished that she had a one piece on,that showed less.
yes.
Being the mom to two girls and auntie to three girls I will say that modesty does start asap. I love naked babies, but I encourage them to be naked in the house or backyard…not in public. And, my girls will not have a two piece until they can decide…or we have a discussion and it is tasteful. Honestly, I see no reason for them…and especially after having surgery for skin cancer, I will be encouraging my girls to think of fun in the sun, instead of popularity in the sun (or whatever…I don’t feel good…don’t require me to be witty). Being outside in the sun needs to be fun…and safe…if that means a rash guard and shorts…so be it. I also come from the thought process that boys really want girls that are modest over a girl who wears little. They may oogle the scantily dressed, but they want to spend more time with the modest girls…
btw…when I say modest I’m not thinking Amish…I’m thinking dressed…gosh…I make no sense.
In this case, that suit mama was thinking about it seems a tad too “sexy” for a toddler.
It actually really depends on the parents and their kids – not one rule can cover everyone!
Definitely is not a big deal, but either way a one-piece is more practical.
yes.
Oh god no. Imagine an 18 year old girl wearing a one piece for a moment.
This seems silly to me but i wish you would post the picture of it – just for fun.
I think it does set a precedent. My daughters (now 17, 15, and 13) all wore modest swimwear as toddlers and little girls, and they continue to do so today — from thier own choice, too. You need to nurture your children in all things, including the way they dress. Others have already noted the issue of pedophiles. The fashion world today wants our little girls to dress provocatively long before they reach puberty.
I don’t think it’s inappropriate. Easier to change a diaper than if she had on a one piece. It’s probably best to just let her wear the rumba panties with a t-shirt…more protection from the sun.
thats ridiculous. a toddler? maybe the dad is a pedofile or some shit.
Nah.
I understand his point, BUT by the time she is in Middle School or becomes a tweenager, the swimsuit variety will probably be a lot more scandalous than a typical two-piece. So, it seems like it would be better to start her off with simple modesty than to discourage everything.
Don’t make children grow up too fast. I think its the worst thing in the world to deprive somebody of living the young life.
I agree with the dad, setting the precedence now carries over to other possible situations.
Is a baby even going to remeber wearing a two piece by the time she is 15 or so? I know 9 nmonths is a little early for potty traing, but a two piece would make that a little easier when the time comes. The triangle top doesn’t sound like it would be the easiest for her to wear though becaus she doesn’t have anything to keep it in place.
As a mother of a 2 yr old girl i would say it is not appropriate for a toddler to wear a regular bikkini.That is way too revealing.Personally i wouldent do it because of the unprotected skin(even with sunblock).
How bout that movie “Little Children” that got a lot of publicity through the Oscar’s? Just a thought that would make me think twice about my kids… when I have some… some day…
I think her husband is being a cunt. No words on the butt? That’s over the top. But I’d really have to see the two piece to make a good judgement. I wore things like that and I’m no where near slutty, or whatever.
Really lame.
I see the philosophy behind it… but seriously… a kid that young… who cares? I would say that it’s ok.
People let their kids run around in just a diaper, ya know…
Sneak peak at what???
A little baby walking around in just shorts is going to show off more than a little baby walking around in a bathing suit.
Shit, I used to wear just little shorts over my diaper at the beach, with no top.
I’m sure if the said 9 month old were a male, this wouldn’t even be an issue.
I think dad may be a little protective, but then again: I wouldn’t want to dress my 9 month old in a bikini because it just seems like too much work. I’d stick with the one piece because it just seems like less shit to hassle with. The top on the bikini would shift and be uncomfortable and annoying.
Doesn’t matter.
I have never thought of a two piece bathing suit on an infant or toddler to be too revealing. I can completely understand the father’s point though. It’s never too early to start a “rule.”
The brazen little hussy!
Errr maybe a toddler, but she should be able to wear one when she’s a teenager… There is nothing shameful about the female body! My opinion strictly, she’s your daughter…
first to say anything meaningful! =)
Posted 2/26/2007 3:37 PM by esch99
you can say that again!
I agree with Ladyj3
didn’t the little girl advertising the suntan lotion in the 70′s wear a 2 peice??? you know the one that had her bottoms almost pulled off by the little dog?? i thought it was a cute advertisement and nothing wrong with it. but if one parent things it’s totally wrong then you should hear them otu on it.
It’s a little silly. I don’t think he’s out of order.
i think so. seen worse though.
At the very least the kid could see a picture when she is older and use that as justification to wear revealing clothing when she actually has something to hide. It is better to have rules in place at a young age that will continue when they get older than to need to strengthen the rules as the child gets older. It is always easier to adjust to a less restrictive set of rules than a more restrictive set.
I’m gonna have to agree with the dad.. and I’m not an old lady either! haha!
Hi, i’m not a mom, i’m just a 17 year old girl, so you all might be thinking “what does she know?”
My parents always told me that a girls body was worth more than to be paraded around, and that modesty is a mindset, not just what you wear. I wear one piece bathing suits, or if I wear a two piece it has shorts and a tank top on over it when i’m around guys. As for words on the butt of pants, I don’t wear those, because I don’t want guys staring at my butt. if all you wear is body reavealing/attention getting clothing when you’re little, that’s what you’ll wear when you’re older. And as a result you will have problems. Modesty isn’t a bad thing, it’s something that more girls should consider. Parents have to make their own decisions for kids though, but I for one am extremely greatful for my fathers protection. Before I leave the house I ask him if it’s inappropriate, and if he tells me it is, I respect his opinion, and go change. I do this by choice by the way, not because he makes me.
For now at least, this argument is basically moot, because a 9 month old doesn’t know the difference between a one piece and a two piece, and she isn’t going to remember which one she wore when she gets older. I’d go with a two piece that covers more (tankini or something) as a safe compromise.
However, I second aLi__cat‘s WTF? about making her wear a one piece until she’s 18.
I did and I turned out alright. *_*
how would a two-piece bathing suit even stay ON a 9-month-old? their tummies are so fat and their diapers are so big!
1. shouldn’t you MAYBE wait until the 1-year birthday to put your child in a pool?
it just seems like a stupid and impractical product, not even a moral issue at all.
Hmm. I dunno, honestly.
I don’t think two piece swimsuits are too bad in general, but I think triangle tops are really pushing the border of good taste. I know the general opinion of exhibition is becoming a bit more lax, but certain things seem different. I have a tendency to roll my eyes at middle-school age girls who are wearing revealing bathing suits, especially when they don’t have much to reveal, because it’s not the amount of skin shown it is the suggestion of what is shown. While a nude beach (they’re not all entirely nude, it’s optional and some only go topless when they decide to go nude) may seem risqué to some Americans, they’re quite common in Europe, but some of those same Americans still drool over the suggestive images of barely-there bikinis and think they are totally within modest guidelines.
If she’s nine months old she can probably still go without the top yet! (Well… I’m not sure for how long, I don’t have many munchkins running about me often, not quite sure the appropriate age for tops.)
Yeah, I’m even still hesitant about triangle tops for myself.
So the toddler doesn’t have much of anything to be hiding. But what about all the pedophiles? They just choose your toddler as a target because she already has more skin exposed than other Toddlers. Even if its in your own pool you could be exposing your boy or another boy to the female body making them more likely to become addicted to porn later on in life.
When I have a little girl I’ll keep her covered. I’d rather be safe than sorry.
yes
What’s the purpose of having your 9 month old wearing a swimsuit? She obviously doesn’t wear it for her own or others gratification. The only person who gets any enjoyment out of this is the parent, who thinks its “cute”. I’m sure the 40 year old pedophile at the beach will think its cute also.
Hello?!? Pedophiles in the Neighborhood! I repeat, Pedophiles in the Neighborhood!
nooo
no, its inappropriate that someone wud think that anything a 1 year old does or wears is inappropriate. theyre babys. they are not trying to be “sexy”. they can not dress themselves.
(and another thing, i HATE IT when people let their children swim naked. gross. id rather not be swimming in baby pee thank you very much)
lyssa, the yellow one
No not really. I don’t consider it reavealing for a toddler to wear a two-piece, at that age its’ just plain adorable!
Love
Laura
I think the father has a very good point. There’s something to be said for consistency in parenting.
Is the choice of swimwear really that big a deal? I don’t think so. Pedophiles will like a kid in just about anything. What can ya do? Cut arm and head holes in a trash bag and make them wear that to the beach? Some parents don’t even have their kids wear a top at that age.
But I’ll stick with my original answer. If you won’t want the kid wearing a two piece later in life, you may as well start them on that track while they are young. Give them something to rebel against.
ridiculous.
that child is so going to rebel against that shit and I am going to laugh. There is a medium between being too lenient and too strict. Neither extreme is good.
Wow…I have to admit that after reading how many people are citing pedophiles as the reason the the toddler shouldn’t wear a 2 piece bathing suit, I can’t help but feel that everyone thinks that pedophiles are every where and really really common. I’m not completely naive, but I don’t walk around thinking that every time I go somewhere that I’m running into a pedophile. I think the bigger issue is that everyone is picturing everything and everyone as sexualized. Just because someone is naked doesn’t make it sexual. Being naked is natural. It’s societal thinking that makes it “wrong.”
Personally, I understand the idea of a precedent, but I also think that the bathing suit issue isn’t that big of a deal. I wore a little 2-piece when I was 5 or younger, then never wore one again until high school when I got one with a sports bra tops & shorts. Since then I’ve only worn tankinis with shorts or 1-pieces. I don’t believe that what you wear for a bathing suit as a toddler really affects what you wear later on. It doesn’t matter the bathing suit when you’re older–they all fit like a second skin. As long as she can play in it, have fun, & it’s not falling off, those are the main things.
I definitely agree though that you need to keep the exposure to sun in mind and at a minimum.
Oh…and I don’t think parenting is black or white, and it is a 2 person thing done with compromise. I will never defer to my partner “just because.”
As a curious question, if the mother in this situation was a bisexual and thought that the outfit was still cute & fun, would that destroy the argument about the father knowing best because of having that mindset of picturing females as sexual?
Um…my mother didn’t want me wearing one-piece bathing suits when I was younger.
If it’s a tankini, it should be fine.
the only thing my over protective parents taught me was to lie to them.
>> yup
‘oh but it’s just a baby’
Don’t make me slap you, (next 50 people to post), it’s way more complicated than that <<
Slapping people is such a persuasive argument….
It IS inappropriate (and beyond) to see a todler as a sexual object, but exposing the belly doesn’t automatically imply anything sexual.
i guess it is a little inappropriate depending on where you stand when it comes to the present day teen.
Sure.
The image the father is worrying about will come from how she’s raised to be a functioning human being and what she is allowed to wear in the years that she will remember. And just because someone wears a 2-piece suit doesn’t mean they’re going to be promiscuous.
I firmly believe that if you want a child to be modest in the way they dress as they get older, you need to start when they are young. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a baby wearing a two piece but it certainly sets an early precedent that it’s alright.
That is so over the top. Of course it’s okay for a toddler to wear a two piece.
I guess. I wasn’t in one until I was 4 or 5, and even then, it wasn’t a friggin’ string bikini.
The answers you’re getting are pretty funny.
First off, letting anybody wearing a two-piece as opposed to a one-piece isn’t gonna cause them to get so much UV exposure they’ll get skin cancer, combust, and die.
Secondly, there’s nothing wrong with any kind of person wearing a two-piece. Obviously some people prefer not to, but why the hell make such a fuss, yeah?
she might be uncomfy for it, but there’s nothing inappropriate.. i think it’s a bit too early for this dad to be mindful of wht his daughter wears around boys.
i don’t think it is innappropraite- but i get what the dad is saying.
I don’t see anything wrong with anyone wearing a bikini. Or wandering around naked, actually.
I think it depends on how revealing the two-piece is. Is it a tankini? It would be best to stick to a one piece though, because little ones are so wiggly and squiggly…clothes come off easily. And in case there are any pervs at the beach, it’s better they not have the chance of seeing anything.
no, ive seen that my parents had me wearing them in some of my pictures when i was a baby too, and now im all grown up and a very conservative dresser, it all depends on the parenting,
At this age, it’s a little ridiculous for a child to be wearing a two-piece, but it’s not like they’re trying to exhibit anything… not sure where I stand, but I just wouldn’t buy a two-piece for a toddler because I don’t like it.. it’s like skirts for infants and toddlers.. just.. no?
I disagree with the “Black and White” parenting thing, though..
Obviously the father has never tried to get a toddler out of a bathing suit to use the toilet.
Nutkin: “…I don’t walk around thinking that every time I go somewhere that I’m running into a pedophile.
Do a little research.
Nutkin: “I think the bigger issue is that everyone is picturing everything and everyone as sexualized. Just because someone is naked doesn’t make it sexual. Being naked is natural. It’s societal thinking that makes it “wrong.”"
This objection doesn’t even make sense. It’s as if you are saying, ‘I see the wild and hungry tiger in his cage. If I want to go into his cage and pet it, I will. And, he has no right to impose his appetite on me, because even though he sees me as nice tasty treat, I’m really just an animal lover.’”
Nutkin: “As a curious question, if the mother in this situation was a bisexual and thought that the outfit was still cute & fun, would that destroy the argument about the father knowing best because of having that mindset of picturing females as sexual?”
Nope.
i hate kids
half the time little girls at one year just go in the water in a special swimming diaper with no top what so ever. the only reason i would say no to a two piece would be practicality, one pieces are just easier to deal with.
I guess I can understand the protesting of a bikini… If I had kids, it’d be a one-piece until they’re at least ten, then maybe a tankini. And then with a drivers license comes shopping for their own clothes.
But seriously, what’s wrong with the words on the butt?
Teaching children isn’t black and white :. It has more colors than a TV can produce
My niece is six years old, and she was given a two piece. It’s not sexual, it’s simply practical and if you get the right colours, cute. But then again, I always say my niece is cute.
’nuff said…
BooksForMe was absolutely right! Kudos!
Young parents of new children have as much practice and understanding of being parents as the children have of being children, which is perhaps why children appeal to their grandparents when mom and dad say “no.”
Try walking on a beach in southern France in the summer. There they are nearly buck-naked at all ages, and I haven’t noticed fire coming down from the skies to smite them. That’s because they are cool, and can say things like “Ce la vie,” and “Oo la la,” and “Mon Dieu,” etc.
no
I think it is very interesting that almost, if not all of those who are parents who have responded so far, are against a toddler wearing a two piece swinsuit. I am a 21 year old college male and I am against anyone wearing a two-piece swimsuit. Some may claim it’s because I’m some kind of a religious freak (I am a youth pastor major), but it’s moer than that. As much as I hate to admit it, I am weak, and I have caught myself looking and lusting when I shouldn’t be, and I have had to repent of it. Ladies in 2-piece swimsuits are very testing to us males, who are visual creatures. Now, I am not some sick guy who would be lusting after a toddler; however, why even start your toddler in a 2 piece swimsuit? I’l be honest…if you are willing to put your toddler in a 2 piece swimsuit, I would question your sense of modesty (I Peter 3:1-7).
no, but you never know nowadays.
it is inappropriate to put a two piece on without some much needed sunscreen! my tot (boy) wears one piece water suit for that main reason.
I don’t think I would feel comfortable with it. No, she doesn’t have anything to show…but yeah. It’s kind of silly. Also, don’t you have more important things to argue with your husband about? Choose your battles.
Personally, no, BUT it is your husband saying it. You two are working together as a team and he is the head of the household. I think you can state your opinion, but he would have the final say. Be thankful that he cares enough to say something. Most husbands/fathers don’t say a word.
No, I did it myself.
It does indeed set a precedent I think. That doesn’t mean she has to wait till she’s 18 to wear a 2 piece, but if she’s allowed to from the very beginning, she’ll want to when she’s at that age where it really isn’t quite appropriate and there will be nothing to stand on to tell her it’s inappropriate. If that makes sense.
And the thought of pedophiles checking out my kid would freak me out.
I have always bought two piece bathing suits for my daughters. They are adorable and perfect for quick diaper changes or potty breaks.
yea
“Yes. Modesty starts at birth, in my opinion. There should not be separate standards for toddlers and teenagers. The habits a toddler learn will carry over into the teenage years.
Posted 2/26/2007 3:39 PM by PurpleFire40″
Agreed.
When I was a toddler, I ran around naked. I mean, c’mon! I had a string bikini that has two little strawberries to cover my chest. It was cute. It’s only inappropriate if the dad is a perv.
i suppose it depends on what it looks like. but i do think that this father’s idea that his daughter won’t wear a bikini before she’s 18 is ridiculous.
yeah.
the POINT of two piece swim suits are to show off one’s body. no reason in hell you should be showing off a one-year olds body. so yeah…RETARDED.
yes. precedent is necessary.
No because of all of the pervs out there.
no..
even more than that, build a family. i mean – if it means that much to your husband – change! Is it really that important? i think maybe not. maybe just me..
we need ot desexualize kids. I think leaving them naked, like was done until quite recently in time, would desensitize us to the stupid attitude that the flesh is evil.
Also, I am promoting a very important TOTAL WAR FOR TOTAL PEACE and need freineds like you, who are thoughtful == I can tell your mind is still open, and your heart is still free. Please take a second to read the below announcement — and by the way, you had me from the comfy avatar. Don’t expect comfy, but I sure do like it.
I pain. I AM WAGING A TOTAL WAR FOR TOTAL PEACE. SORRY TO LEAVE A STOCK MESSAGE, BUT i NEED TO GET THE WORD OUT.
I also have other sites — go to this one for the full scoop — http://theelvesattic.ebloggy.com I have five.
ANways,
I am cruising around my space introducing myself. I trained to be a poet for years before switchwing to military ingelligence, and now I end up being a novelist and other stuff… funny how life works. You would like my story of a post modern conversion experience — after all the years of freaking out about being didactic. i have like five sites, but the easiest one to get that at is http:theelvesattic.ebloggy.com I’m a novelist, dj, filmaker, etc…looking for short scripts or recoreded bits about a minute long… more importantly though..
I am an underground chicago artist, from the roger’s park hood. I paint reluctantly sell oils, but mostly I write. I have worked in skit tv comedy, a chilren’s show, wrote over 400 short stories, and three books. Also went to college full time for twelve years. Please come check out my funny, and read THE MIGHTY POEMS FOR PEACE that WE have been writing for you, and can now show that the CRUSADE OF PAIN is going above ground, with a new radio show on fearless radio, a movie contract, weekly live shows with a lot of stars coming in over our laptops. Peace and pipedreams
hoorah for daddy!!!!
I can see his point wanting to protect his daughter but its a little extreme given her age. However, he is just trying to be a good Dad and do what is right by his little girl. I don’t think he should be critisised for this.
I didn’t wear a triangle top two piece till I was like 15 maybe? I turned out fine! I don’t think Dad’s being too hard. There are a lot of pervs out there! And.. I think it just tries to make babies into little adults way too early. Talk about the sexualization of America, man.. it starts with toddlers in bikinis!!
YES!! First of all, they look extremely silly. Two pieces were made to be filled on top. Secondly, there are a lot of sickos in the world and you don’t want them lusting after your baby or toddler. I’ve have seen older men at parks just watching kids in the water playscapes and stuff and it really disturbs me. Thirdly, if you don’t want your young teen dressing in revealing clothes you need to start a young age, because at what age do you then decide “it’s no longer appropriate to wear that stuff” – some one who was allowed to wear 2 pieces from the age of birth to 10, isn’t going to understand what is wrong about them when they have been allowed to wear them for years. I say to protect our children while we can.
Well. it sounds like the father has a problem looking at ladies in 2 piece suits. Usually, when we have a weakness, we get angry when someone else is doing it. I pay attention at age 73 at what makes me mad. That usually means I have the problem.
I don’t seen anything wrong with a little girl wearing a two piece. I had a family member who had a 2 year old girl run around the house naked all the time. They were former Hippies and did not think the body was evil. I admit is was a little unnerving watching someone else’s little girl romp around that way, and then go nurse on her mother.
I have 2 daughters. One is still single and tries to stay pysically fit. Please married ladies, don’t hit me. Once she got a little over weight. So I took a few pictures of her in her two piece suit. When she saw them, she went on a major diet and got in shape. I did not plan that, but it struck me funny. As a dad, I have a daughter who went to modeling school. To me as a younger dad, that was like going to the school of prostitution. She was on her own, and finished the course. It did her a world of good. She had been so shy and plain before. She learned how to present herself very nicely.
Some guys, like this father, just have not come to terms with their own masculinity. That is my unprofessional theory.
Frank
That’s actually pretty common place for toddlers to wear, isn’t it?
I teach kids swim lessons…… some of the baby girls don’t even wear tops.
I completely see where this Dad is coming from though, and I think he’s got a good basic idea going. But giving a two piece swiming suit rule to a one year old is crazy… as she gets older and starts going to swimming parties and all, then she can wear something less like a two piece.
But.. I’m not a parent.
And I’m not a man/Dad.
So, he could be right.
I agree with the dad in setting precedence, but yeah, he seems a bit over the top. I also agree with him about no writing on the butt. I read writing on clothes. I’m sure pedophiles look for writing on clothes.
Arent they suppose to be running around naked?
As far as I’m conerned, he’s lucky he got the kid into clothes to begin with. I wouldn’t wear anything for the life of me. Bathing suits at one years old really is such a small thing to make a fuss over, and in the long run will probably not affect her. Memories don’t start developing until 3 or so, so that would be the time to start the precedent.
I don’t feel as if this topic is unsuitable, however I do beileve in establishing a rule from day one. Opinion- Don’t sweet the petty things!!!!!!!!!!!1
not at all! most parents let their children run around naked on the beach!
not to sound too harsh or anything… but there are a lot of pervs out there and I think sometimes adults think its cute to dress their children like adults… sometimes it is ok…. other times I think it is not appropriate. so… I think I understand the husbands point of view a little more.
I wore a 2 piece when I was little. Personally, I am glad that my mom bought me a 2 piece when I was that age, because now I would never wear one. I don’t have the body to show off, but when I was little, it didn’t matter. Whatever happens, the child should feel comfortable in what she wears. She should be able to embrace this age when she can wear anything, and it be considered cute. If someone thinks that this look is too “sexy” then there is something wrong with them. ALSO, when she is 16, there is no way that she’s going to say “you let me wear that when I was 1!!” If she does, you can just say “yeah, and you wore dipers too, do you want to go back to that as well?”
Not really.
absolutely.
My mom let me wear two-pieces when I was younger, but then I was more interested in one peices for some reason.
When I was around eleven and we were at Wal-Mart and I was in the girls section wanted to buy this triangle top and matching boy shorts, and it was metallic blue, she said,”NO, it’s too slutty. What are you trying to do??” I was upset. Haha. Thanks mom. You basically called me a slut. Way to boost my self esteem.
But she bought me one about like two months later. Even though up to today, she still doesn’t like me in revealing clothes. [eh neither do I] But at some points and times I wanted to rebel. I wasn’t allowed to wear make up untill I was fourteen. But while I wasn’t allowed to wear a two peice, she wore the trashiest things possible. I think that parents need to set an example.
It just depends on the parent maybe.
“The habits a toddler learn will carry over into the teenage years.”
Are you kidding me? First of all, your BABY is only nine months old, faaaar different from a toddler. I say let her wear it…when she gets to be a toddler and starts to know the difference, THEN you can switch to one-pieces. It’s not really that important anyway.
Nobody will even look at it that way unless they are a pedophile. Rule= dumb.
a two piece is better than a diaper and no shirt, at least she has something on. Now if she starts putting on make up at that age…I’d worry
I see no reason for young girls to be wearing two piece swim suites to start with! Allowing or encouraging that level of undress at a young age will teach the child that their body is meant to be shown off and used to gain the attention of other people instead of teaching the child the value of modesty and respecting their bodies.
don’t most babies end up in nothing more then the diaper on the beach at that age anyway? i think establishing a precedent of decency is important but a two piece can fall within the realm of decency, look at the tankini. it seems a bit silly when the child is so young and nakedness is normal to every toddler i’ve ever dealt with!
I agree with the little girl’s daddy. She is just a baby, so she has nothing to show off. But if he doesn’t want her dressing like that when she gets big, why would he want to let her get used to it when she is little? You have to start somewhere.
O brother, it’s a 9 month old BABY!! I dressed my daughter, who’s now 10, in two-piece bathing suits as a baby because it was PRACTICAL – it’s much easier to change a swim diaper with a kid wearing a two piece, than to peel down a clingy wet one piece from a wiggling child that just wants to GO. That doesn’t mean I would allow her to wear anything revealing now, even though she isn’t developing anything to hide yet….She wore two pieces when she was smaller; much easier to go to the bathroom. Think about it! Why is everyone’s mind always in the gutter?
eh, no big deal really. But I’d have the girl in a one-piece until she’s like 8 or 9. And then just make sure the tankini/two piece covers everything. I’d never force a teen to wear a one piece. that’d be horrible. I’d never wear one now, although i loved them when i was younger.
Inappropriate, no, but what’s the practicality of that? She’ll be around a year old when she wears it, and how is the bottoms going to stay on? A one peice is just functional and it protects more skin from sun and anything that can harm it. In fact, I’d put my kids into a t-shirt until they start complaining about how “uncool” it is. What’s cute just doesn’t concern me.
Well, this is coming from a fifteen year old.
My dad let me wear two-peices when I was a toddler. Me being his only child, he didn’t care for it, but he didn’t stop it. My parents have always let me choose my bathing suit, keeping some morals in mind. I’ve had bikinis and tankinis as a child. I understand both sides of the story, but, you should be watching your child in the water anyway, you SHOULD be with her, so if the shoulder slips, you should be able to catch it. It’s not about the bathing suit as much as the memories made in the bathing suit. To the dad–loosin’ your grip a lil, it’ll help if you start doing that now, it’ll make it a LOT easier when she’s 15. To the mom–when picking out the clothes just think about what she’ll wear them to and how she will act in there [ie. the beach ;; she'll be running around a lot, right?] keep your morals in mind! 12 years from now, you don’t want her to see that she or you didn’t have morals when she was a toddler.
no