March 28, 2007
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The Thin People
I received this message in my message box from jojomarco. I reprinted it with her permission and link. (Please do not spam her).
“This is in regards to a lot of the comments on your recent post about thin women. I was disappointed by many of the comments, but, unfortunately, not surprised at all.
Some people worry an awful lot about offending fat people. But who really worries about the thin people? Many, many women, especially younger women, are just naturally thin. Many women who don’t watch what they eat are blessed enough with a fast metabolism that they stay skinny anyway. So what? I’m just sick of fatter people saying, “Oh, she’s so skinny. I wonder what eating disorder she has.” or “Real women have curves.”
Honestly, you’d be surprised at how much I hear things like that, and I think that bigger women don’t realize how hurtful it is to say things like that. Just because not all of us have huge boobs and J. Lo butts doesn’t mean we aren’t women too.
The way I see it, it’s turning into reverse discrimination: the fat people, who were once hated, are turning on the thin people. There’s so much talk of “accepting your body for what it is.”Can’t the bigger people accept the thin people?”
Comments (166)
they can.. i guess maybe some women just live off of spite though..
^^ what i mean is that, some women probably just get a kick out of having someone to pick on. it’s the classic “bully” story. the bully’s insecure abt himself so he mocks someone’s flaws, thus ensuring his safety.. a bit like “hah-i-made-fun-of-you!-what-are-you-gonna-do-about-it”.
i honestly hate it when people point at me and say “oh wow, she MUST be anorexic because she is just SO thin”. i don’t know. i don’t think there is a double standard. also, when people look at me, they assume that i count my calories/carbs and discriminate against “fat” people. whatever, people are people. can’t people accept others NOT for how they look? well, that’s ideal, right? ahhh man
i agree with her ^^
Basically, no one is ever going to be satisfied, and there will always be people who dislike people who are different from them.
oh everyone, QUIT BITCHING.
Yes. I agree. It can easily turn into reverse discrimination.
I’ve always been thin and I don’t like it because it makes me look puny and weak. No one ever assumes I have an eating disorder because most people can tell I’m not that type of a girl.
i think people in general think about looks too much anyways….its not the size, shape, weight of the person that matters…. it really is on the inside where it counts in the long run….. my fav quote that i made up… so it might not be that good is….”looks are not whats going to keep you in love when your 80 years old drinking your prune juice on the front porch of the nursing home”….so yeah…thats my thoughts….
I like it, there I was eating my double cheeseburger and sharing a pitcher of beer wathing a couple of rather large woman nibbling on salads and drinking water. I love it they can insult me all they want.
It’s good to be thin
&i think that “bigger” people can accept “thinner” people. it just depends on how they view others and, most importantly, on themselves. a high self-esteem conquers any insecurities about oneself and just appreciates people for who they are.
*Sorry for the double-post. i guess i wasn’t done with my train of thought
I hate fat women. I can’t take anything they seriously.
What about the middle man?! Seriously though, anyone can be discriminated against.
say*
Uh, it’s both extremes.
There is reverse discrimination against the naturally thin, but it has not yet reached the media-saturation levels that its opposite still maintains. I have not seen thin women as self-esteem-shatteringly desperate to gain weight as many of their counterparts are to lose.
“Accept your body for what it is” refers to both sides, methinks. What I hate to see are women enslaved by an unattainable ideal. It doesn’t matter what that ideal is, whether heavier or thinner, it really doesn’t matter. To tell the truth, ideals change, and once the Statue of Liberty was consider the ideal female figure…
Ignore the ideals, ignore the magazines, ignore the people, and BE, whatever your weight. Then, if you want to lose or gain weight, do so–but do it for yourself.
And… I still prefer my women with curves, sorry. Don’t yell at me, yell at my subconscious.
ChrisRusso loves chunky women.
I dont turn on thin people
I just hate it when I am around basically skinny people and they refer to themself as “fat” for being a few pounds overwight when I am so much more. I think being skinny is fine, some people are naturally skinny and some are naturally bigger, some are medium… it doesnt matter all that much to me.
Also.. on tv when they show skinny people on the news they show their faces but it seems that when they show bigger people, in regards to obesity, they tend not to show their faces.. just their stomachs and butts.. i dont like that, it annoys and angers me a tad. They are, and everyone, is more than their mere physical appearance
- Daniel (doubledb)
What has society done to our minds? It’s horrible if people (who are NOT anorexic) are picked on, it’s horrible if fat people are picked on. can’t we all just get along?
I have to say it disturbed me when you posted that Miss America (or whatever) photo and some people were convinced she had an eating disorder when, in fact, I’m probably skinnier than she is and my thin figure is purely derived from genetics. Needless to say, that entry made me feel really insecure. I’m not here to bitch, but it seems to me that thin women get insulted almost (if not as much) as larger women.
The point is that nobody deserves to be insulted, thick or thin.
There is reverse discrimination against the naturally thin, but it has not yet reached the media-saturation levels that its opposite still maintains. I have not seen thin women as self-esteem-shatteringly desperate to gain weight as many of their counterparts are to lose.
“Accept your body for what it is” refers to both sides, methinks. What I hate to see are women enslaved by an unattainable ideal. It doesn’t matter what that ideal is, whether heavier or thinner, it really doesn’t matter. To tell the truth, ideals change, and once the Statue of Liberty was consider the ideal female figure…
Ignore the ideals, ignore the magazines, ignore the people, and BE, whatever your weight. Then, if you want to lose or gain weight, do so–but do it for yourself.
And… I still prefer my women with curves, sorry. Don’t yell at me, yell at my subconscious.
Posted 3/27/2007 11:48 PM by ChrisRusso
I concur.
Women being insecure with their bodies is nothing new. What’s sickening to me is that men are becoming more and more like that nowadays too.
Real women do have curves.
Not sure I’d be worried about this dillema
Everyone deserves fair treatment.
I hate that too. Whenever I’m on a total work out streak and feel like I’m really looking my best there happen to be a stream of people commenting on how much weigh I’ve lost, and how I should be careful blah blah blah instead of praising my hard work and dedication to getting the toned body I was striving for.
I don’t care about offending the fatties anymore because I feel like people can make the choice to be thin if they worked on it enough, whereas a lot of thin people can’t really make the choice to be fat.
Accept your natural body.
Don’t accept your natural disorders.
Accept other people, but don’t encourage anyone to do something that’s bad for them.
I’m short and overweight. My best friend is taller and naturally thin. I only get annoyed by thinner girls who are obviously obsessing over their weight (and even then I usually feel sorry for them), or who shove my weight in my face or make comments (often that I’m not suppose to hear) about me or in general people being overweight (that’s high school for you). I recognize that most thinner women are simply blessed with a good metabolism, or actually eat right and exercise like they’re supposed to. That being said I do think there are some “bigger” women who try to make themselves feel better by making thing women out to be all anorexic or whatever because then they don’t have to actually face up to their own problems. And that’s an issue larger than just weight. “If I blame it on you, I don’t have to be responsible or do anything about it.” Way to go.
Tangent: We live in a society taught “don’t offend the fat people” and “self-esteem is everything”. I’m an overweight teenager. I’ve found it nearly impossible to talk to anyone, even my closest friends, about my desire to lose weight. They keep telling me I’m “fine how I am” and I don’t need to diet, it’s what the inside that counts, blahblahblah. Not a single person will listen to me long enough to realize my self-esteem is fine and I’m doing it for health reasons; I’m at risk for diabetes and heart problems and all this crap that’s in my family history. But I feel like I’m supposed to be ashamed that I want to lose weight, ashamed that I’m not okay with myself, ashamed that I want to change and better myself, ashamed for even suggesting something is wrong with who I am.
So in general I think we should just screw societal views, but I don’t think that’ll happen anytime soon.
The problem with her arguement is that she says fat people, who were once hated, which implies that this is no longer true, when in fact it is. I don’t think it is reverse discrimination–thin people aren’t getting turnned down from jobs the way that obese people are.
She’s right man, and i agree with her. Also, “accepting your body for what it is” doesn’t give anyone an excuse to be unhealthy. If a person diets and excersises, maintains a healthy lifestyle, etc, then that’s good. I’d hate to see people use as an excuse to be a big lazy fatass, though.
Oh, and here’s my all time favorite restaurant dialogue: “I’d like a double bacon cheesburger, fries, and a diet coke please (aside to friend: I switched to diet soda to try to lose some weight).”
It all comes down to this…fat or skinny…it hurts to be talked about like you are an object.
Why are people so judgemental? We’re all animals, the only thing that makes us special is the size of our brain. Just live your lives people, forget about what others do and what you should do. Just live and be happy.
It doesn’t matter how thin you are, how fat you are, how beautiful you are, people are always going to find a reason as to why you’re not like them. Every body is different; all sizes vary. People just always search for the explanation behind the differences.
i dont think anyone can accept anything different, its like everyone is looking for someone to mess up so they can sue them and get their money. doesnt matter what it is: weight, color, religion, anything, everyone discriminates and hates like that now a days.
They can, and they do. The thing is, most women aren’t naturally that skinny- they diet, they get plastic surgery, they may get dangerously close to having an eating disorder (especially these young women she’s talking about, who commonly do have eating disorders), but their thinness is anything but natural.
While I do think it’s offensive to make a demeaning comment one way or the other about a person’s weight, the truth is that the situation is nowhere near reverse discrimination.
Thin people are much more likely to be complimented (or, as in the case of Miss America, rewarded) for their thinness, whereas larger people will be stereotyped, made fun of, treated rudely, and discriminated against. What’s the worst that will happen to a thin girl? Someone might make a comment that she is too thin. But it will not lose her a job, because the employer looked at her weight and thought she was “too lazy” or make some other similar judgment, which is a legitimate concern for overweight people.
Mean-spirited comments are hurtful to everyone and should not be used on the grounds of common decency, but the bottom line is that it is still much more looked down upon to be overweight than underweight. I think even extreme cases- morbidly obese people vs. emaciated twentysomething actresses- balance out to about the same level of stigma.
But recently there’s a new term called “globesity” meaning a global epidemic of obesity while I don’t hear of any term regarding a global epidemic of anorexia for example…
I’m 170, and 5’6”. My boyfriend is 6’4” and, well, about the same weight.
He can put away tons of food and gain not an ounce. I eat some chocolate and somehow gain five pounds.
But no one worries about thin guys. My sister gets called anorexic at school because she’s really thin, and I’m not, but we have different genes! Poor thing.
I actually think that curves are highly overrated. I am more attracted to women who do not have much in the way of “curves”.
People simply need to realize that everyone is different and that some people will be more attracted to the less curvy look.
It is likely that for anything you say, there is someone who will find that offensive.
Rise of Reverse Racism.
i totally agree. i know media portrays women a certain way etc etc…
REGARDLESS, fat women shouldnt throw criticism on us thin girls & assume we have some disorder. everyone should just accept eachother, both ways.
PREACH IT SISTA, PREACH IT. JAAAAAAAAAYUH
I’ll pass on beating this dead horse.
If the really repugnant ones have sex, possibly. Jack Sprat and his wife who was fat… and take pictures for us…
Fat/thin fetish groups on xanga.
People say mean things about others out of pettiness and jealousy…. ” Can’t we all just get along?”
I think everyone needs to get over each other.
No. Fat people will only be able to accept skinny people if they become skinny themselves.
Fat shouldn’t be called curves. Curves going outward shouldn’t be on your hips.
I think the eating disorder thing is dumb. Lots of people just (a) don’t eat junk food all the time/watch what they eat, or (b) they’re just naturally that way. I’m natually thin. For a while my height was 90% and my weight 50-45%. It was all natural.
your hips.
whoops! meant “your waist”
I like what ChrisRusso said. And also, what jimmyjazz86 said.
And THIS comment is worth highlighting:
They can, and they do. The thing is, most women aren’t naturally that skinny- they diet, they get plastic surgery, they may get dangerously close to having an eating disorder (especially these young women she’s talking about, who commonly do have eating disorders), but their thinness is anything but natural.
While I do think it’s offensive to make a demeaning comment one way or the other about a person’s weight, the truth is that the situation is nowhere near reverse discrimination.
Thin people are much more likely to be complimented (or, as in the case of Miss America, rewarded) for their thinness, whereas larger people will be stereotyped, made fun of, treated rudely, and discriminated against. What’s the worst that will happen to a thin girl? Someone might make a comment that she is too thin. But it will not lose her a job, because the employer looked at her weight and thought she was “too lazy” or make some other similar judgment, which is a legitimate concern for overweight people.
Mean-spirited comments are hurtful to everyone and should not be used on the grounds of common decency, but the bottom line is that it is still much more looked down upon to be overweight than underweight. I think even extreme cases- morbidly obese people vs. emaciated twentysomething actresses- balance out to about the same level of stigma.
Posted 3/28/2007 12:58 AM by hidden_sandwich
I honestly don’t get it either. My little sister has a fast metabolism and eats a lot (mine’s pretty fast too but I’m not as tall as her) and she’s slender and judging from what people were saying about those photographs they’d probably say she was anorexic too.
You know, I’ve only heard one person claim they’ve been made fun of for being thin, and she’s just a bitch who likes to be the victim in every situation.. I’ve seen women made fun of for lack of body definition, though.. but it’s never really a weight issue so much as its just “You have nothing up there/down here *gestures to chest or ass*”, etc.
Although if I were these skinny women being picked on by bigger people.. I’d just send it right back. It’s not like fat jokes are far and few in the English language…
its all in the eye of the beholder.
I agree. One of my old best friends is naturally very skinny. She ate all the time, but she had a fast metabolism so it didn’t matter.
Plus, I think skinny girls are pretty so I’d never be mean to them. Then they wouldn’t date me.
I’m happy the size I am – and completely healthy – but I do find it interesting how complete strangers will stop me on the street and tell me to eat. I’m not THAT thin – certainly not thin enough to star in a movie. Those strangers that stop me are all women. My co-workers will even put food on my desk. It’s really sort of weird. I don’t think it’s discrimination though as much as their own perspective of my body. It’s no longer the norm when you look around on the street, but I’m exactly inside my healthy weight range.
Your own weight affects how you see others. I’m all for different shapes and body sizes myself. Keeps it interesting. Hollywood would have been boring without Sophia Loren - and Audrey Hepburn too. I think if you’re healthy you should be happy. Your health should come first – it’s what enables you to be active and enjoy your life for as long as possible.
Maybe their just mad they can’t lose the weight and they envy skinny little bodies, and maybe they dont realize how much they hurt us when they accuse us of eating disorders because they think it’s like a compliment? Well example
two girls that were once good friends of mine were insecure and wanted to lose weight. Now I having a very fast metabolism wasn’t helping with their weight loss at all, and only making them feel more insecure (I wasn’t deliberatley doing it, either) So we stopped becomming friends and they started to call me every eating disorder in the book, and always said the lines ‘no one likes a stick thin girl’ and ‘real women have curves’. They were trying to bring me down to help their self esteem and cope with their weight. Maybe that’s what it’s like for everyone.
I’m going to write a blog entry about this, come read
no, thin people are too hot for them.
I mentioned this one in my comment… I get really frustrated because I have a lot of naturally skinny friends and they always get so upset whenever people try to say they have an eating disorder. Hopefully this issue will be mentioned more often sometime and this won’t be as a big a problem…
i said the same thing.
i hate when that happens to me.
I can relate to what the poster commented on because I hear about how skinny I am all the time. Well, let’s see I work out everyday (except Thursdays) I control my caloric intake and stay active even in the long grueling months of winter.
If you don’t like being over weight…do something about it. I am not saying any one should be discriminated against but a person can change the weight of their body.
I like it, there I was eating my double cheeseburger and sharing a pitcher of beer wathing a couple of rather large woman nibbling on salads and drinking water. I love it they can insult me all they want.
It’s good to be thin
Posted 3/27/2007 11:44 PM by trunthepaige
…Lol. Exactly!
I love thin people. For breakfast.
I am just an average body weight (5’2″ and about 123) and larger people are always telling me I need to eat more. I’m like…what? I’m normal sized. But I am glad that I am not super skinny because I bet it would be hard. And it would be hard to be overweight. Mostly I think people should just leave other people alone and try to be nice.
I’m a large woman. A friend of mine is tall and extremely slender. One day someone posted her picture on a message board and people started in with “She’s a twig”, “Eat a sammich!”, “She’s disgustingly skinny”. She was so hurt because no matter what she does she cannot gain weight. As a large woman who struggles to lose weight I could empathize with her. But I really agree with the following comment:
….”looks are not whats going to keep you in love when your 80 years old drinking your prune juice on the front porch of the nursing home”
Posted 3/27/2007 11:44 PM by HEBCHILL
That is so right on.
KUDOS to Jojomarco, and thanks for reprinting her note.
Finally, someone says it! Let’s stop assuming naturally thin ladies are “anorexic” or somehow aren’t “real women”. Let’s accept the human body in it’s variety.
I am grateful that women exist.
I think the fat women say the “discriminating” things because that is how they justify their own weight.They might really be thinking that they want to look like that, but they spin this whole story about how they are more “average” and “womanly.”
I think that there is some truth in what she said. I grew up in Asia where most of the women were tiny (a “fat” woman there might get treated like the overly skinny here…and a “HUGE” (like, point and stare huge) might just be normal here).
I am a bigger guy and I don’t find overly skinny women very attractive, but for me it isn’t about curves…I could care less if you have massive breasts or a rounded butt. I just don’t like seeing bones stick out. Anytime I can see your hipbone, ribs, jawbone, or any other bone that sticks out, then you are too skinny. Bones are gross.
I think people are just going to complain and belittle others just for the sake of doing it. And often, a lot of people who do talk about other behind their back (or even to their face) especially in regards to weight have issues with their own confidence.
Some guys find “curves” hot, some guys like petite women, women should just be who they are (in a healthy manner) and the right guy will love them for it.
There’s always going to be people like that, both ways. We need to get over it. It is no big deal.
Not all “curvy” people discriminate against thinner people.
And notice, none of this would have ever happened if the skinny people didn’t discriminate against the bigger people.
I’m not pointing fingers, but…
They can, and they do. The thing is, most women aren’t naturally that skinny- they diet, they get plastic surgery, they may get dangerously close to having an eating disorder (especially these young women she’s talking about, who commonly do have eating disorders), but their thinness is anything but natural.
While I do think it’s offensive to make a demeaning comment one way or the other about a person’s weight, the truth is that the situation is nowhere near reverse discrimination.
Thin people are much more likely to be complimented (or, as in the case of Miss America, rewarded) for their thinness, whereas larger people will be stereotyped, made fun of, treated rudely, and discriminated against. What’s the worst that will happen to a thin girl? Someone might make a comment that she is too thin. But it will not lose her a job, because the employer looked at her weight and thought she was “too lazy” or make some other similar judgment, which is a legitimate concern for overweight people.
Mean-spirited comments are hurtful to everyone and should not be used on the grounds of common decency, but the bottom line is that it is still much more looked down upon to be overweight than underweight. I think even extreme cases- morbidly obese people vs. emaciated twentysomething actresses- balance out to about the same level of stigma.
Posted 3/28/2007 12:58 AM by hidden_sandwich
Agreed.
a funny thing happened to me recently that made me rethink my whole self image. i was in class sitting between two very naturally skinny girls. one was 5′ 9″ and 112lbs while the other was 5’2″ and 103lbs. i would say that i am about today’s average size female, but i am pretty short at 4’10″. one of the girls said to the other, “i have to take off a couple of lbs, i am getting too big.” to which the other replied, “i hear ya! if i get to 120lb, i will kill myself.” imagine, being a girl weighing above 120lbs, sitting in between two obviously very thin girls and hearing this! i couldnt believe it. it’s not that overweight or average girls like myself are discriminating against skinny girls, instead, i think it is steaming from general concern. we see people like nichole riche and now donatella versace’s daughter who all suffer from eating disorders and we become generally worried about those who are obviously not in the average. of course we are jealous because naturally thin girls can eat what they want and maintain a fabulous weight, but we are not discriminating. well, at least most do not. honestly, be happy that you girls are skinny, because those of us who are in our twenties and are at a middle weight or above already suffer with bigger discrimination than you will face (i.e. hiring rate, male-female discrimination, service discrimination, general pop culture discrimination… did anyone see Shallow Hal?)
there is nothing wrong with the size you are at as long as you can accept what you are and what you are capable of being, and that goes for skinny girls and big girls as well.
and i agree with some of the comments that state that skinny girls are rewarded for being skinny. look at America’s Next Top Model, beauty pagents, celebrities… bikinis for God’s sake. do not tell me that i am selfish for holding on to the truth that women having curves is attractive. you can hold on to the fact that girls not having a pouch is attractive.
I do think thin people are discriminated against, although not as bad as overweight people.
It doesn’t help that a lot of the thin, tiny girls I know are obsessive about their weight and always saying, “ugh, I look so big. I’m so fat.” I hate that. That’s not helping them any.
Who cares?
I don’t give a shit, no one’s called me a “fat bitch” or a “skinny bitch” in years.
I’m just “a bitch”
People don’t insult me about my weight in an argument or anything, i’m fine with that.
I 5 6 and 130 pounds, and I have huge boobs, I’m neither fat or skinny. (You really can’t call someone fat because of their boobs, it’s like…c’mmmoon)
Hollywood would have been boring without Sophia Loren – and Audrey Hepburn too. I think if you’re healthy you should be happy. Your health should come first – it’s what enables you to be active and enjoy your life for as long as possible.
~~Audrey Hepburn didn’t want to be skinny, it put her career in trouble, but she couldn’t gain weight because she lived through a famine during ww2
I don’t think this is fat vs. thin. This is woman vs. woman. We have a unique kind of hatred against our own sex for other women always seeming to have something that we ourselves don’t have. Or is that just me (who doesn’t really like people in general to begin with…)?
I hate it when girls bitch around and say “I’m naturally thin”
when they have a BMI of 15.
It’s like, well then you’re lazy, you obviously SHOULD weigh more because you should have more muscle, you’re just really out of shape, nice job.
(Btw, that’s like someone who is 5 9 weighing 100 lbs, so Obviously there’s a problem with that)
I liked the whole “real women have curves” thing until I realized that it does that same thing to skinny women that watching skinny models on tv does to overweight women. Why do we have to be so catty and uninclusive?
How about “Real Women Come in All Shapes and Sizes”?
I’m one of the thin ones, and I concur.
I’m sick of all of it. Larger people should not be treated badly and neither should the smaller ones. One of my friends told me the other day that she always made fun of a super skinny girl here on our campus. Turns out the girl has stomach cancer. My friend felt awful. I know someone very over weight who had thyriod cancer and beat it. She is over weight from it. No one knows that about her. They just see her size and instantly assume things.
I am big and I never say things about thin women, I do however find it alarming when you watch before your eyes young women in the media wasting away.
That is something that can’t be denied.
My husband is 6ft 155-160 lbs, naturally thin. He has self esteem issues that have haunted him since high school. Thin people are just as taunted as fat people in my book. No different than someone who has weight loss issues.
It’s annoying when people always talk about the skinny people, because I’m thin, and can’t really do anything about my weight. Like my mom always said when I was younger: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!
people are turning discrimination around everyday by reverse discrimination. That’s what affirmative action is. It’s discriminating against white men to help minorities. Well it’s not directly helping minorities. It’s just attacking white men, and everyone else benefits from that attack. some people are naturally thing and others are naturally fat. People can be unnatrually either. it’s the unnatural stuff (over eating or undereating) that should take ridicule, not the actual weight of the person
Nope, they’re jealous of those of us that are naturally thin. And some of us that are thin still have curves
Well…if we all watched “Oprah” yesterday we should be wearing our “No Complaining” wristbands and then if we complain we have to switch it over to the other wrist. The goal is to keep the wristband on one wrist for 21 days. The theory being that it takes 21 days to break a habit. There, I have passed my good thoughts on for the day.
I love the thin ppl. Wish I was one…
Everyone has their vices. Addictions, faults. For many women, an eating disorder is not something to be proud of, but is an addiction, like a drug. People seem to be posting to say that it is not okay to discriminate against thin women who do not have an eating disorder, but it is if the women is in fact anorexic or bulimic.
I am simply saying that you do not know what a person has been through to lead them to the current place they are at. Whether is is being ultra thin or overweight, either could be the result of a medical condition or emotional trauma. People are simply more insensitive to a thin person because it is socially accepted, and it is assumed that, with thinness, comes confidence. And with the recent turn on skinny models and eating disorder related deaths, I would say no, bigger people are not accepting of thin people. Because suddenly they are more appreciated and accepted and can simply join forces with the tabloids and magazines professing how skinny equals sick.
its rather entertaining that when suggested that ppl are too thin all the comments are along the lines of yes its gross… but now when suggested that its unfair all the comments are along the lines of yes its unfair… i didnt comment on the are ppl too thin post… but i am thin and have always taken offense to ppls comments on it… but then i just giggle to myself and realize that i look damn good and the fatties dont… they are jealous and thats why they hate… but yeah everyone should just drop their issues and stop complaining… but thats a utopic fantasy… really… just get over it and stop taking everyones comments so personally… skinnies AND fatties
I have a friend like that. She bitches all the time that she’s overwieght (and trust me, she is) but she won’t do anything about it. She’d rather bitch and moan about how none of the good stores at the mall have her size and that they only cater to thinner women. Then she glares at the rest of us. So in my opinon, its her problem, not mine. I’m the one that’s healthy fit and toned. I work out and eat right. She’s the one who is going to start having health problems soon if she doesn’t get her act together. She can make comments to me all she wants. Her attitude isn’t going to miraculously take the fat off of her body, her actions will.
Everyone has their own mantra, so who are you to judge fat people in return? It’s a double edged blade. Just shut up about the whole issue and it’ll be just dandy.
to each his own.
I completely agree. I am just naturally thin and so is my mom. Like Musicdream16 said everyone deserves fair treatment.
Deal with it twig!
one of my best friend’s girls is really thin naturally. she snacked the whole time I was at their apartment last night, and I know she eats as much as he does. But he’s 215, and she’s like 110 max. So… there you have it.
I completely agree that skinny people get bitched at; like its my fault I have a high metabolism. Its assumed that I’m supposed to be A-okay with my body but newsflash, you dont’ have to be fluffy to not be 100% happy with yourself. So that means that I’m not allowed to complain once in a while how I don’t like something about my physical appearance because all my friends weigh more then me? Like I want to hear about their weight problems and how much they weigh. That’s B.S.
I don’t comment about fluffy people holding back on that extra twinkie so don’t comment about that I should eat more. GRRRRR
P.S. Great post!
real women have curves, uterus fat, and cellulite. but that doesn’t give them rights to just sit and wallow in it all day long and call beautiful, slim girls unattractive. everyone should do more situps and eat more lettuce.
well, discrimination will always find its way into society .. as long as there are haters around, someone will be discriminated, guilty or innocent no exemptions.
Apparently not… it’s time they start though.
i agree with her 100% =]
There’s always something wrong with a woman. We’re all teased about something. You’re too fat or too thin, too short or too tall, somethings wrong with your hair or some other feature. There is no ‘perfect’ for us.
This is one of the many reasons I don’t have friends who are girls. They are too fucking bitchy and catty for my taste.
And most of the comments from chicks just make me want to hang out with my guy friends more.
So basically for the past, mmmm what, lets say 15-25 years it was OK for everyone to pick on fat people and make them feel bad.. it was acceptable.. Now, the tables are turned and they are tired of feeling bad and tired of being made to feel bad for being, god forbid a 12, and they are turning the tables and suddenly after all these years they are suppose to watch what THEY say?
I’ve always had to struggle with my weight and as a child when I was chubbier then the other girls I was always left out and treated differently…because I wasnt skin and bones..
Now it’s becomming more common for women to not be so damned skinny and I have the opportunity to feel a little better about myself because it’s more accepted.. the tables are finally turned..
I dont personally make fun of skinny girls…but in the back of my mind I hear that wicked little voice saying “heh..now you know how I felt.. deal with it”.Sorry..no love here for the skinny girls..boo freken hoo
I had to deal with it all my 33 years of my life and nobody gave a crap when I or any other “fat girls” felt bad..
All things given, I think most thin people would rather not reverse roles.
Seriously, the criticism (implied and explicit) is so much more directed towards fat people.
Yeah, it sort of sucks to be criticized for anything, but I’ll put up with being criticized for being rich, thin, and beautiful.
I think to answer Dan’s question, I have to stop and think about the actual people behind the question. I do not think it is impossible for bigger women to accept smaller women. I think what bigger women have a hard time accepting is the idea that “all” women are supposed to be rail thin and look like a super model.
History shows over time that views and perceptions about the “correct” weight for women has changed. In the middle ages fat women were considered sexy because it meant they were rich, and their family could afford to feed them. Then in the U.S. we hit the depression and if you look at pictures from that era, you see very few over weight people, but then not a single person looks happy (Yes, I am aware it is because they were all probably beyond miserable.). Then you hit the 50′s and curvy women are back in the front running as the sexy women. If you actually look at some of those older sexy actresses like Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, and Rita Hayworth, they were more curvy women. Welcome to the 70′s and the reign of Twiggy. She was rail thin. It seems like since she hit the scene that women all over strive for that look.
Now for me personally, I think I become the most frustrated with the idea of “thin” because that term no longer means a healthy weight. It means that girls see these people in Hollywood who are not healthy, who are probably 6 inches or more taller than the average girl, and they except to be able to attain that kind of look. Let’s get real about it. If everyone were an Ashley Judd or Julia Roberts, then the odds are those women wouldn’t be famous right?
I also think that Hollywood has a huge negative impact on thin and over weight women. Not everyone is meant to be a size 4, but some people are naturally tiny. The problem comes in when a women who is naturally supposed to be a size 6-8 forces herself to get down to a 4, and expects everyone else to look the same way too. Personally, if I were a 12 I would be bouncing off the walls happy about it, and glad I got down to that weight!
Thank heavens for jojomarco’s realistic message to Dan! I was taunted in high school for being anorexic — someone’s assumption that if you’re thin you must have an eating disorder. People need to get thier heads out of the sand and engage in critical thought processes! People aren’t always thin because they don’t eat at all. People aren’t always fat if they eat too much. It’s too simplistic to say it’s all thier fault; it’s too simplistic to say that it’s genetics fault. There’s so much biological and environmental interaction involved. Let’s just say they’re correlated, okay?
I’ve had bad experiences at the gym where older women loudly say: “What is she doing here?” as if there’s no other reason to excercise besides losing weight. I’ve gotten many a dirty stare and rude comment.
UGH!!! Everyone is discriminated against for one reason or another – seriously, she should be content to be too skinny instead of fat. Clothes are better for size 0′s than they are plus sizes. Automobiles, plane seats, theater seats, department store aisles, etc are not made with the large person in mind. If it’s not weight, it’s height, skin color, education level, class level, etc — people just need to stop discriiminating in general. I wonder though how often she is quick to judge people – because she sure seems to have a big opinion against those bigger than herself….
NO, they can’t becuase some skinny bitch in high school made there life a crater of hell. I know it may not be the skinny persons fault but now you have to pay for the actions of skinny bitches! Also alot of fat chic’s will only make those comments if you give them “why can’t you lose wait!” look.
i completely agree. i’m naturally thin. always have been. 5’10′ and 130. i don’t watch what i eat. i try and eat healthy, but i eat whenever however much. i’ve never been over 130 in my life. and it is very true that the people who once felt discriminated are doing the very same thing. same with black and white people. black people are discriminating their very selves. they won’t let go of the past. fat people won’t let go of the fact that they are okay! i don’t know. i’ll have to think this out more. but i’m on the right track… i think… haha…..
basically… i think that fat people will never be able to accept thin people
depends on whether or not they still have hatred for us –_– bullshitters.
I think they do. The ‘bigger people’ just want to be like the ‘thin people’ but not the anorexic ones.
agreed times 496
everyone criticizes the people who lack what they have.
if its a fat person criticising a thin person or vice versa.
i used to make fun of people who color coordinated all the time and then one day i came to the realization that it was because i could never do it myself.
human nature is a weird thing.
real women do have curves lol..anyway it just depends on the kind of person. I accept thin women.
“I don’t think this is fat vs. thin. This is woman vs. woman. We have a unique kind of hatred against our own sex for other women always seeming to have something that we ourselves don’t have. Or is that just me (who doesn’t really like people in general to begin with…)?” ThePQ4
It’s sad that it is an issue at all. Why are we talking about skinny/fat men? Because it is good to keep women divided – we could never come together to do anything really amazing that way. We are too hung up on our own personal issues.
amen.
God made us to be happy
and healthy and learn from
one another w.o. criticism.
I was always slightly insulted by the whole “real women have curves” thing because I am petite and not all that curvy, so clearly I must not be as real a woman as someone else who is voluptuous. However, I can easily get over those hurt feelings when I realize that big people have to put up with so much more crap than I ever did. It doesn’t give them the right to be catty and call all skinny people anorexic, but I can honestly understand why some would want to. Bottom line is that women should stop bitching at each other and insulting the way everyone else looks. There’s no way the male chauvinism still lingering in our society will go away unless we start acting like we deserve to be treated as equals in every way, shape, and form, and bringing each other down does nothing to help us get taken seriously.
I can identify. I have been thin my entire life and I really don’t have any overweight friends because they get bothered that I am thin. I get sick of hearing, “Oh you so skinny. You can fit into anything. You’re so lucky.” or “You have no ass. No boobs. Guys don’t want girls that have small asses and a flat chest.” If I were say say something similar to an overweight person, I would be wrong, wouldn’t I?
i have friends who are curvacious. i have friends who are stick thin. i have friends who are heavy and strong. i have friends who are anorexic. i have friends who love food.
we all love eachother.
sometimes i wish everyone could just learn to love no matter what.
For the record, it’s comments like “i just giggle to myself and realize that i look damn good and the fatties dont” that make “fatties” upset at thinner women. Not so much the fact that they’re seen as more attractive as it is the fact that they shove at us that we’re seen as ugly. Having weight problems is bad enough without being reminded that we’re “undesirable” or “unattractive”, especially as a teenager.
And by the way, I’ve never witnessed people assuming girls are anorexic at my school simply because they’re thin. But I’ve heard the fat jokes. I’ve known people who made an overweight girl in our class into the monster of their comic, and who have dedicated online journals to making fun of people. I was the subject of a number of entries and the comments about my weight stung. A lot. Especially because I had been losing weight at that point.
Reading these comments, a lot of people seem to be implying that all fat women are bitches, and that’s simply not true. It’s also sterotypes like that which make the problem worse. Why would I show any respect to someone who assumes I’m a lazy slob and a bitch simply because I have a weight problem?
I might be wrong but it seems that most larger women being discriminated are only annoyed by certain thin women (those who freak out over gaining a pound, for example) while most thin women who are discriminated against are lumping all large women into the “bitch” category.
i have nothing to say. Thats what I said in the comments way back when.
Skinny people get accused of being anorexic or too thin. Fat people get accused of being lazy, big eaters, unmotivated, smelly, automatically unattractive. Thin women comments are “wow, she’s too thin”. Fat women comments are “wow, push her back in the water before she drowns” or “cute face, too bad she’s so fat”. Thin people get sympathy for being too thin. Fat people get mocked and ridiculed.
I don’t judge people on physical appearance and have pretty good self-esteem, so even though overweight, I’m respected and not made fun of. However I will say I’ve heard more ridicule towards fat people than thin. Neither is good, neither will help the other achieve any goal. I just wish this society didn’t put so much emphasis on appearance as they should on health. As long as you’re healthy and happy, that’s all that should matter.
I think a majority of the time bigger people can be accepting of thinner women just like most times thinner women are accepting of bigger women. but sometimes it just gets to the point where you are like..holy crap what disorder does she have?? because she is soooo skinny..im not saying you think that about every person, but it’s true. same thing goes for bigger women..if you see a woman very overweight, chances are you might think in yuor head “someone needs a diet”
I think it’s obvious from multiple posts here that women of all sizes share trials in how they are judged. It stinks to have so much of your identity wrapped up in what you look like – and all women will most likely always have this struggle – whether they want it or not – because men primarily judge us this way – and women judge each other that way too.
Be who YOU want to be and tell the world to kiss off. Don’t just mock stereotypes, blow them out of the water. And don’t blow the stereotypes for anyone but yourself. We shouldn’t just talk about what women can do and be – we should do and be it. We should live deliberately and suck the marrow out of life. Live, and life will follow – the best kind of life – no matter your dress size.
So Audrey Hepburn had career problems? I guess that’s why she won an Oscar for her very first film role. She kicked the Hollywood Monroe stereotype that existed in her day and altered views of the female body – views which, for thousands of years, had previously demanded more curves. She worked to stay slim through ballet and yoga and “ate all the things that she liked.” She wasn’t completely disconnected with taking care of her body. She also had a long and serious with John F. Kennedy while Marilyn Monroe served as a public interest decoy.
I offered her name simply as an example of a body type different than MM’s. There are many more. I’m just saying one woman – one look – one type of face and one type of body would make for a boring world. No matter how lovely it is.
Beauty can be miserable just as easily as a Beast can feel beauty.
I want to find the place where all the beauty comes from, and it sure’s heck, isn’t the Gap.
I think the big people need to accept the thin people and the thin people need to accept the big people. And everyone needs to accept the average people too.
I’m with Chris Russo.
I agree.
I was offended by some of the comments on that post. I’m naturally thin and I don’t really have to work for it. I look a lot like (weight wise, I’m not gorgeous or anything) those women. I don’t have an eating disorder. They most likely don’t have an eating disorder. Not all overweight people are like that though. There are plenty of thin people, like myself, that believe those women have some sort of eating disorder.
*shrugs* I think both sides (thin and overweight) are just really insecure over weight issues.
I think that we should not worry about how people look so much as HOW WE TREAT THEM!!
omg would everyone just get over it…it’s getting ridiculous
We should accept people no matter what their size.
No offense, but….
…maybe they’re jealous
But we should learn to live in a world where size doesn’t matter.
I’m sorry but its more socially acceptable to be thin w/an eating disorder than it EVER will be to be fat. Suck it up- the overweight folks have a WAY larger (no pun) stigma to deal with.
I think thin people need to stop picking on bigger people and bigger people need to stop picking on thinner people
i couldn’t agree more
I most definitely fall on the heavy weight side of the scenario, but looking at the Ms America picture, I didn’t see what everyone was whining about anyway. She looked pretty healthy to me, muscular and still had fat in the places God designed us to have fat, the chest. What makes me sad is to see beautiful girls like Hilary Duff who looked so adorable get the the point that they are as thin as they are. There are many more examples just like this, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, etc, etc etc. For someone to be naturally thin, the’s one thing, but When the girl looks like there is nothing to her but skin and bone and her face looks sunken in and she has dark rings around her eyes and she no longer looks healthy and her head looks disproportionately large for her body (becuase by this point it is…), that’s when I think there’s a problem.
It believe that a good portion of it is jealousy, but at the same time, we all have friends who are so thin that it isn’t even funny complaining that they are fat, which is infuriating and painful for those of us who are in fact slightly or in cases like mine, quite a bit overweight and can’t seem to change it. I personally have a thyroid disorder that we are treating with medication, as well as a female related syndrome that worsen my already less than ideal situation….but if someone just saw me walking on the street I’m sure they would just believe that I’m just a lazy pig…which isn’t true at all. I just think we all need to step away from being so judgmental and take a deeper look to see who a person really is. Some of the most beautiful people in the world can have such a horrible personality that it makes them ugly, and some of the homliest people you meet have the most amazing personalities that makes them so much more attractive. There’s no way to change it in our lifetime, but I hope that some day our culture will move away from it’s obsession with physical beauty and learn to look below the surface!!!!
Okay, soapbox rant is officially over. Sorry it was so long!
Exactly. Personally, I don’t think I’m fat or skinny.
But I can see exactly why either of those people would be offended.
better question;;;;
Why can’t we all just get along?
I am naturally small. I have curves, but they are on a smaller scale. I’m a minature “large” lady, I guess. I weigh 98 lbs, and am 17. However, I am 4’11, so I do not look anorexic at all. My friends always go on about how small I am, and when I started working at a daycare, all that the people there could say was how tiny I was and that I had to sit in a chair or the parents wouldn’t know if there was a teacher in the group at first… ha.
Really, sometimes I overeat, and it all goes to my tummy. I used to be overweight for my height and age when I was younger, I was about 120 at 13, and that showed a lot. I just became slimmer as time went on… I never really was anorexic.
What about the medium sized people?!
nah eat a damn cupcake. lol. just kidding. i like the thin people.
I’m a thin person who has heard a few people say I’m anorexic. I actually read more comments about thin women than fat women.
I don’t know.
Oh, I totally agree. I was actually discussing this exact topic on FaceBook the other day.
But to comment on Doubledb’s comment: GAWD how annoying is it when skinny girls go around fishing for compliments and ego boosts whining, “Waaaaah am I faaaat?” SHUT UP! You know you’re not fat. Gawd.
Don’t worry jojomarco, I still hate fat people. I’m a traditionalist!
I totally agree, I’m naturally ridiculously skinny and I hate hearing “Oh my god you’re so skinny! Eat something!”
It is reverse discrimination. It just so happens that thin women are closer to society’s (or the media’s) projected ideal. That’s why they get automatically disliked.
Being a skinny guy isn’t great, either. Women are jealous of you, but they don’t find your thinness attractive. Lose-lose.
If you’re not a happy fat person, you can’t be a happy skinny person.
who cares. from either side, if you let it bug you, you are insecure already.
Here,here Doubledb
Just because you happen to think that women who are super skinny aren’t attractive doesn’t mean you’re not accepting thin people. It means you have different tastes. Personally, I happen to think that women with curves are more attractive than thinner women. But I don’t have any problems with skinny women. Even if I did, I don’t see nearly as many insecure thin women as insecure larger women. Once our society starts telling women that they’re disgusting for being a size four or less, then I’ll feel bad for the skinny women.
i think we’re too worried about offending people….people have gotten beyond the point where they are comfortable enough with themselves to actually dismiss the words of a fool….we’ve gotten beyond where the problem is with them for being stupid and think it’s our problem for being human…thin/thick/small/tall/pretty/not….why do we make it about us feeling bad because they judge us and not about them being wrong and us being happy with ourselves…and if we’re not like we want to be, we should do something about it….
others cannot make you unhappy….happiness is my decision…
if we were all the same, life would be boring…..
which is more beautiful…a field of wheat or a field of wildflowers?
the flowers are different…..
I’m sure they can, but why would they? They get treated differently so they’re jealous and trying to bring others to their level.
I’m naturally thin and there are always people tell me that I’m gross and i need to eat. Then they watch me as a basically eat none stop and are like ‘how can you do that?’ acceptance, people figure it out. if you are happy and healthy then it doesn’t matter how skinny or fat you are
No there just stupid assholes!
i think fat people are discriminated against much more. People need to stop judging others based on what they weigh or how they look. They should realize that some people are naturally thin and others are naturally heavier, so being overweight or underweight is different for everyone. Still, i think eating disorders are more common than people may know, though they shouldn’t go around accusing people.
you have no idea how many time I’ve heard things whispered behind my back… “OMG she must be anorexic” or “Think she throws up EVERY meal or just some of them?” I can’t help it that I have a high metabolism, and people who know me know I’m pretty much constantly eating something… just to keep from losing weight… the reverse discrimination is ridiculous.
amen! i totally agree with her.
I definitely appreciate this post, because people are always just freely asking me, “how much do you weigh?” or “are you anorexic?”
I’ve always wished I was a little larger, because then people wouldn’t make it such a big deal that I’m just naturally skinny.
There is also an important difference. Generally speaking, overweight people tend to be envious of skinny people. I think that’s the heart behind a lot of the comments about skinny people. On the other hand, I’ve never heard of anyone who is skinny wishing they were overweight.
Unfortunately, it’s often true that when people are envious of somebody, they will belittle them in order to feel less inadequate. We see that a lot with people who have fat bank accounts. Most of the people who criticize the rich for being greedy or living luxuriously are actually just envious. They wish they could have that kind of money themselves.
Oh, how terrible life must be for the skinny people! No matter what they do, they just can’t shake off something that many people spend lots of money to obtain (on diet products, fitness equipment, etc).
I wonder how many of the commenters to this post are actually bragging about their skinniness, not complaining about it.
Also, I wonder how many of them are still teenagers. Adolescence is a time of major growth and development, all of which requires lots of energy. Thus, the high metabolism and the skinniness. Just wait. By the time you reach your early twenties, adolescence will be over and the metabolism will probably go way down. If there aren’t changes in diet to adjust for the drop in metabolism, you won’t stay skinny long.
I totally agree! If you’re “skinny” looking, you can not talk about needing to eat better or exercize a bit more without people being like “pffsh, what do YOU have to worry about?” It’s not like I want to go on a diet or lose weight! I just want to build some muscle, lower cholesterol, and feel better about myself. Just because you’re born with smaller bones and a faster metabolism doesn’t necessarily make you healthy.
I’ve heard many people say those phrases to me and about me and my identical twin sister. It makes me feel like I do not meet the standards of a female.
[ariana]
I’ve run into a similar situation.
I’m actually suppose to be nearly the perfect weight for my height. But many men and women alike attempt to make fun of me for being “skinny.” (Male 5’11 170 pounds)
I’ve been accused several times of having an eating disorder. When I really don’t fit the definition of skinny.
I don’t get offended, because I assume it’s just their own insecurity. I am thinner than most people, but it is because obesity is a real problem in America.
Most people aren’t raised eating healthy so it’s not really their fault. I was, so I crave healthier foods and I have a higher metabolism. I assume it’s really difficult to build habits like that when you weren’t raised with them. So I can understand a little suspician and insecurity would be felt.
Even if it is reverse descrimination we shouldn’t take it personally. We should just feel sorry for people when they act that way.
-Alexander the Zounderkite
I find fat people often seem to have a superiority-complexe, or something of the like. They expect to be treated better than thin people, they expect more sympathy for pain, and illness, they expect to be given more breaks and rights at work as if to compensate them for thier own weight, and from what I have seen they get treated that way. They get chairs when smaller workeds have to stand. They get to go home from work because they say they have back pain, while a thin person can injure thier back AT work and still be expect to not miss any time. They complain about things being too small for them, and thier demands are met. I am short, and small, I have complained about things being too high or to large for me, and have been threatened with loss of employment if I cannot do all things required. In my experience the amount of consideration, concern and respect you receive in society is directly relational to the size of your body, the bigger you are the better you seem to be treated (note: I am referring to the life of the average low to middle class person, not celebrities or high-society, their situation is different). It really makes me mad.