June 12, 2007
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Helping a Friend
I received this message in my message box from someone who wanted to remain anonymous but signed her name at the end of the message:
A very close friend of yours tells you she is going to have an abortion and asks you to come with for support.
If you were against abortion, would you still go with her to support her?
Comments (169)
i couldnt do it.
if her and I are close friends, my job as her friend is to support her 100%, so yes. Though (if I were against abortion), I would try to help her figure out other options first.
I’m not against abortion though, so it is tough to say for sure.
i would try and convince her to change her mind…but no matter what i would support her
second
or not
Yes. I would make it very clear what my beliefs are on the matter, but I would go with her. Many women who have abortions end up with associated emotional trauma–making her go alone would only make it worse.
Absolutely.
fuck abortion.
Yes, of course. I didn’t agree with my friend’s breast implants, but I’m still here for her if she needs anything in her recovery. It’s not my job to force my opinions or views on a friendship.
I would. But I’m not against abortion anyway.
yes. in every case, i would.
Uh. Would you pick your friend to help, or a few cells that aren’t even developed into anything yet?
I couldn’t.. but i would have to explain why.
ha ok… why would u support someone who belives something u dont? doesnt that make u a hypocrite?
Yes, even if you don’t agree…you should go to support her.
RaVnR <3 ChrisRusso!!
Yes
yes i don’t really believe in trying to convince others to apply my personal beliefs to themselves in the same way i do.
Yes I would
You’re against abortion, not against your friend.
Why wouldn’t you go to support her; maybe all she needs is to see that there are loving people around her who would be willing to help w/ the baby if she asked…
I do not know if I could.
No way! At an abortion clinic, who would be there to “support” her child? I would take her to a crisis pregnancy center so she could see that there is a baby whose life is dependent on her and then ask her to sleep on such an important “life threatening’ – at least for the baby – decision!
I would go with my friend.
And, insertCLEVERERnamehere, they make you wait til the fetus is developed enough for them to identify parts. At eight weeks, there’s a face forming. it’s not just a few cells that haven’t developed into anything.
Ah, if I was pro-life, it’s hard to say due to my stance. Err, yeah, I want to say that it would be their choice and I’d support them regardless, but that’s a very pro-choice thing to say.
I guess it would depend on your opinion of your friend. If I was against it, and they were just sleeping around with everyone without any protection and any regard for the future and consequences, I’d leave them alone to learn a lesson. Otherwise, I’d probably support them.
-David
yes, probably. And I am VERY against abortion.
I find it hard to imagine being pro-life.
I have this big ass beam in my eye that prevents me from judging others or be critical of their mistakes. I would go and be there for them, and let God be the judge.
No. Nor would I go to support my friend if she went to kill her husband, mother, father, brother, other friend, etc. That would make me an accessory to murder and just because something is legal (abortion) doesn’t mean it’s not morally wrong. To me abortion is murder and though I might visit my friend afterwards and offer her kind words as well as prayers I would not go.
Back in the day, I would have told my friend no and made her feel terrible and possibly ruined the friendship. My beliefs have changed some and given the choice, I would rather support my friend through a difficult time and choices (even if I didn’t agree with them) than preach at her.
I am more against a neglected child living in poverty as idiot idealist parents scramble to grow sense than I am against abortion.
Give me the vacuum.
wouldn’t know until the opportunity arises
Ah, finally a solid answer. Well done, Respectably_Stranded.
-David
I probably couldn’t. If I went with her, I’d probably say things that would hurt her more. It’d be better for her – and for me – if I didn’t go.
*that said, if in that position I think it’s ok to state one’s beliefs in a calm sensitive way to said friend
I would go.
Even if I were against it, and I’m not.
♥
I don’t know but probably not because I would use that time to plan for abusing my friend afterwards. I am a very odd friend, I will stand by for most anything but if you offend me in anyway then you will very much regret it and I would probably have been offended at some point in the evolution of the situation in question. I do have standards that I expect my friends to meet.
of course i would.
we could support each other through the trauma. i am also against abortion.
I would support her, but not the abortion. I’ve made that distinction with friends before and they seem to understand. I would also encourage her to have an ultrasound so she can completely understand what she is doing.
yes. a true friend knows how to accept the decision of the other. and if she needs his support then if he is a true friend he should be willing to give it despite the fact that some things are compromised. he is not violating his principle because he still would not be promoting such a barbaric act, but he is their to give his friend a comforting hand to hold. that is true friendship.
nope.
I honestly don’t know. I don’t think I could go there… I would do everything I possibly could to help her beforehand or afterwards,but I don’t think I could make myself go and sit there while she terminates the life inside her.
heck no! Here’s another one:
Your best friend comes up to you and says his girlfriend isn’t putting out so he’s going to rape her. Would you go with him to support him, even if you’re against rape?
I’ve had to make that choice… and my choice was to support my friend in anyway I could. But I did make it very clear that I would have gladly adopted her child if she had been able to carry it to term. Her choice, her body… it wasn’t much of a decision for me… it was agonizing for her. I stated my piece and then I was able to support her decision. Sometimes the best friendships are based on diversity… and I couldn’t and wouldn’t convince her that her decision was wrong… it was the right one for her.
For my question you need to remember, all you post-moderns, that you can’t impose your beliefs onto someone else, even if it’s your best friend!
in a flash.
Also; the issue isn’t Pro-life or Pro-choice. The issue is Pro-life or anti-life. Or Pro-life or Pro-death.
Of course I would go support my friend… they would probably be in a very bad emotional state and wouldn’t need to be shunned by their best friends! & like The_Melancholy said, you’re against abortion, not your friend.
I don’t know. I’d let her know 100% that I love her and will be there for her. I’d probably encourage her to go to a crisis pregnancy center first, and sleep on this decision for a while. If it all came down to it, I guess I might go with her.
o_o Yeah. You can’t always expect your friends to have the same views you do.
No one would call me to help them kill their child. If anyone asks me for support during an abortion, they must know I will try and talk them out of it. So that must be what they want. But if they insisted, I could not be part of the murder. She would need to do that alone or better yet not at all.
Abortion is about the killing of a child, getting a fake boob is not a very good comparison.
TO THE PERSON WHO ASKED THE QUESTION, PLEASE READ WHAT I WROTE BELOW!!
No, I couldn’t. I feel that God has a plan for every person.
(Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans not to harm you, but to give you hope, and a future.”
God doesn’t have a sperm enter a female’s body and meet with an egg just when he’s bored. Every person, God has created and has thought out a wonderful plan for their life. That is, if they choose to follow that plan.
Also, in Psalms 139 it says that even in his Mother’s womb, David was a unique person being shaped by God for a special role in God’s plan.
Some might say “Well look at Hitler.” If God created HIM, then obviously his plan isn’t so great. That’s not true. God had an amazing plan for Hitler – BUT HE DIDN’T OBEY GOD PLAN. God loved Hitler just as much as he loves anyone. To him, murder is the same as lying. All sin is the same to God, and all sinners go to hell. BUT, that’s why Jesus died for us. And when we ask him to forgive us, and we start to follow God’s plan – that is only when our life will truly be blessed.
In my eyes, and in God’s eyes – it’s not a mass of tissue – but an actual baby that God has blessed the family with. Some people will say “It’s my body and I can abort the baby because it’s a part of me.” (Sorda sounds like their getting rid of a tumor instead of an actual child doesn’t it?) But, each human has it’s onw individual genetic code stamped on every cell in his or her body. Both the mother and the baby that she is carries have their own genetic code stamped on their genes and chromosomes. Are they the same? NO! The baby’s genetic code is differant from the mother’s. To say that the women can do what she wants with her own body is true, but it’s not true that the baby is a part of the Mother’s body.
I may be only 17 years old, but I am firm in what I believe. My three cousins, and my best friend and her 7 brothers and sisters were all adopted. Their Mother’s could have aborted them, but they didn’t. They all live in nice homes with famlies who love them.
Because you didn’t want your screen name to be shown, I am hoping that you read all that I wrote. If you are not for abortion – don’t support it. Explain to your friend why you won’t support it. It doesn’t mean you don’t love her any less as a friend. Also, before she decides to have an abortion or not – I would HIGHLY suggest buying her the DVD called “Tilly” (There’s also a book, but the DVD is much better!) You can find it probably at any local Christian book store. It’s about a Mother who had an abortion and it always haunted her. (Like abortions often do.) She has a dream, she’s in heaven. She’s in a beautiful house (Her house.) and she hears children outside. She goes out there not realizing she’s in heaven, nor one of the little girls who’s name was Tilly was her aborted daughter. It goes on, them talking ect. It’s VERY good and VERY emotional. It may get your friend to re-thing her decision.
Sometimes friends disagree. And that’s okay. If you both agreed on everything, life would be dull. But YOU may be the person who get’s her to re-think her decison. You may loose a friend, but you may not. It’s a 50/50 chance isn’t it? But, is a unborn baby worth it to you?
No.
Your best friend comes up to you and says his girlfriend isn’t putting out so he’s going to rape her. Would you go with him to support him, even if you’re against rape?
* 6/12/2007 11:07 PM
* This_Is_Important (message)
Because, you know, abortion is TOTALLY parallel to rape, you know, because all rapists are evil and you know, so are all people that have abortions, you know.
I wouldn’t blame you if you wouldn’t want to go with your friend, but she is, after all, your friend. It’s not as if you’re helping her vacuum out the fetus. You’re just there to support her. Maybe you could coerce her out of it.
Because, you know, abortion is TOTALLY parallel to rape,
You’re right, how could I consider murder even closely similar to the simple act of non-consentual sex. I’m sorry if I offended anyone.
No. I would pray with and for her. I would go to doctor’s appointments with her. I would even raise her baby for her. But I would not go with her to end the life of an innocent baby.
If I could, I would try to support her in other ways than having an abortion. I’m not pro abortion, but I’m not firmly anti either. I’m not a woman, so who am I to have firm opinions on the subject?
I would try to support her in any way I could. Everything with me seems to depend on the circumstances anymore, nothing is ever “black and white”.
If she is a friend than I would act as a friend, I would try to keep her from going, that means try to persuade her to choose one of the better options. But if all else fails and she is going to do it anyway, I would still be a friend and help her to go through all that she is going to go through.
a life is a life no matter how many cells there are- science thoroughly proves this point
i second dancingqueenjanine- i’d take her to a crisis pregnancy center- where they actually care about the mom- not her money- otherwise i’d just be letting my friend go through with something she’ll regret for the rest of her life
dude, what kind of friend would i be if i didn’t support my friend?
Morality is so subjective…
-David
Yes. Who am I to impose my moral standards on another person.
Dude, I’d perform it. I’ve been getting quite skilled with the overcoat hanger over the years.
I would try to talk her into another option. And no I wouldnt go with her…to me I wouldnt really be supporting if I didnt support the decision.
Yes, I’d still go with her, but not as “support”…. but I wouldn’t go with a picket sign either.
I would. It would make me depressed (for reasons other than being pro-life / pro-choice), but I would go with my friend.
Kind of an irrelevant question, though. If I was (hypothetically speaking) going to get an abortion I wouldn’t ask a pro-life friend to come with me. I am pretty sure that none of my pro-life friends would accompany me (and most of my friends, including my boyfriend, are pro-life. I’m pro-choice).
And mrcolorful, your comment aside, it sounds as if you would yourself make a terrible friend. If someone offends me I’ll call them out on it–not use it against them. If you have such “high standards” for friendships maybe you should work on being a better friend yourself.
I think I would have to word it differently. I would not be supporting her since while I think she has the right, I could not do it myself unless it involved rape. A lot would depend on why there was the need for an abortion in the first place. In a case of rape, she would have my full help and support. For other reasons, what I would do is Help her since she is my friend. Helping is different from supporting since I can help her deal with her actions but I might not want to agree with what she has done. But then if she was my friend, she would know that already.
It depends why she’s having the abortion, but if it’s a woman’s choice issue I would give her a packet of contraceptives and tell her to use those when making her choices next time.
sure
If I’m someone’s friend, then I’d go with them. Even if I don’t agree with it. If they use abortion as a form of birth control, I’d sit down with them and tell them I’d like them to value themselves more, but when someone’s that vulnerable, I can’t let personal opinions get in the way of how they feel… If I was pro-life I doubt they’d ask me, but if I was pro-life, I’d tell them about how adoption is also an option and tell them about how good that is, instead of trying to ‘guilt trip’ or ‘scare’ them out of an abortion. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar you know.
no,i would try to talk her out of it and give her my opinions,but i wouldnt be mean about it and i wouldnt hate her if she still went along w/ it!.
i’m PRO-LIFE…so i wouldn’t go with her…
Wow, what a sobering question. I HAVE sat and talked with a woman who 40 years earlier had an abortion and was still struggling with the guilt of it. The guilt is real and hard to deal with, the emotional pain is real and very hard to deal with. If there ever was a time when a person needed a friend, that is it. But I would have to think hard and long about the issue. I’m so against it.
Well…I am pro choice…but I will give her my support of what she wanna do with the baby.
Yes, definitely. I would definitely be giving her reasons to not have one, but again, it’s her choice to make, and I can’t make that choice for her, so I would definitely support her by being with her.
YES. I would. Friends need support in hard times.
Yes. And I hate the idea of abortion
Friendship first. (:
Because, you know, abortion is TOTALLY parallel to rape,
You’re right, how could I consider murder even closely similar to the simple act of non-consentual sex. I’m sorry if I offended anyone.
6/12/2007 11:21 PM This_Is_Important (message)
I don’t want to get into which is worse simply because murder/abortion are different for some people. Some people see both as murder, some don’t. However, calling rape a “simple act of non-consensual sex” is rather disturbing to me.
No, I wouldn’t go with her. In what sense could I support her? If she called and asked for a ride home, I’d pick her up and make sure she was recovering OK, but I wouldn’t go with her to begin with.
In a heartbeat.
I love my friends. If they make decisions that I wouldn’t make for myself, it’s not going to stop me from caring for them and wanting to be there for them and help them. I wouldn’t want to make her feel bad by telling her I disapproved. It’s not my place to make those kinds of decisions for people. Assuming she was doing this legally, I wouldn’t hesitate to be there.
If my friend was doing something illegal, of course I wouldn’t have any part in it.
Yeah, I think I could stop thinking about my self and my point of view and go help out a friend if they needed it.
yes id go w her, bc in the end.. its her decision & i should be a friend.
No, I wouldn’t go in to support her commit a sin. Abortion is a horrible thing and I will still love her if she decides to have it, but I refuse to support any sin.
I will, because having a child is a major lifetime commitment, if she thinks she isn’t ready for it, she is probably isn’t and it is crucial that a friend stays by her decision then and not judge merely on whatever moral judgements i might have.
In any case, i am not against abortion.If you don’t have the abilities to offer a reasonably good life for your child, you just have to wait till you’re ready and not make a harsh decision you can’t reverse.
Yes, I would support a friend.
yes, and it is not as hard as one might think. i was faced with this same senario just 6 months ago. i found out i was pregnant. and just hours after i took the test my best friends called me (she lived halfway aross the country from me) and told me she just found out she was pregnant too! we were both excited, we would be doing it all together. and then less than a week later, she decided that she wanted to abort it. it was hard to digest, thinking about my own baby inside me, but in the end, she is my friend, and its my job as a freind to support her. and yes i would have been there to hold her hand if i could have. as hard as it was for me, it was harder for her. and i know her and trust her enough to know that she thought it completely through first. that is all i need to know.
Offer to help her find someone who will adopt her baby would be more of a support to her than accompanying her to murder her child.
I would make sure she’s thought thoroughly and realistically of her other options first. But if she still chose abortion, then I’d support her b/c that’s what she would need. I may not agree with the choices people close to me make, but I’ll give them my support when they need it.
yes, and i’m pro-choice. although, i would never have one myself.
ok, if it were me. I would make time to be with her. I would tell her, well, I want to support you but we need to talk, and you need to wait….just a few days perhaps. Only then I can support you. IN Hahn’s book ANGER, he tells of one friend who tells the other they are going to do suicide. The reply was like this – well, you say you are my friend. But I want you to listen to the Dharma talk in the bhudist temple, and yo;u refuse. Why don’t you come and just listen, and then you can kill yourself? The person did, and turned around. INteresting.
I would talk to her about why she’s making her decision.
See, I AM pro-choice, but that doesn’t make me pro-abortion.
I’d talk to her about her choice, but if she needed me to come with her, I’d drive her there and back, her hand in mine.
If I was against it? I don’t know. Hard to say, since I’m vehemently for it. I would definitely go as I am now, though, so perhaps I would even if I was not pro-choice.
nope
I would come with her and give your a swift punch in the face! I’d knock her unconcious and then I would drag her to a pregnancy crisis center, and have her have an ultrasound and see her baby’s heartbeat. Then I would tell her to have the baby and I will take care of it.
Okay that probably wouldn’t happen. In all honesty, though, I used to work at a car dealership, and a girl that I worked with asked me to work for her while she went and had an abortion. And I did. And I have felt guilty ever since. I didn’t even try to talk to her about it or anything. It’s not like we were best buds or anything, but still. So, I don’t know what I would do.
I am VERY against abortion…..and in spite of loving my friend (which I would do), I would not be able to stomach that decision. I would lovingly try to offer her some alternatives and pray WITH her…..but I would not accompany her. I would, however be there to pick up the pieces if she made that decision. So, I guess I go against what a lot of your other commenters said above!
i wouldn’t be able to.
I actually went though this not very long ago. I didn’t go with her or support her. We haven’t been in contact since.
I would drop that friend like a bad habit. Any “friend” who has an abortion is no friend of mine.
I would, without a doubt.
I’m against capital punishment, but I’d still go and support a friend if he/she wanted to witness the killing of a convicted murderer.
Friends need friends, not judgemental pricks.
If we were close I would have too.
If we were close, she probably wouldn’t ask me.
If I went, I’d cry the whole time so I don’t know how much support I would be – I guess I’d be more support to the baby.
I also wanted to mention… that God wouldn’t leave my side if I decided to get an abortion. I believe He’d be there for me.
Because he doesn’t judge and he loves us no matter what. He would “guide” us toward not doing it… but it’s our WILL to do it or not.
After it’s done, He’d still love us. That’s what I believe anyway.
Yup. I support my friend…not necessarily her actions. It was a very brave thing for her to do to ask her to bring her there, because she probably already knows her views on abortion.
i honestly don’t know. i would be so torn if one of my friends decided to abort their child. i know that i would want to be there for her, but i don’t know that i could go with her. then again, i don’t know that i could say no. it’s such a complicated thing.
i would definitly be there for support. if she is too emotionaly unstable to go through with it alone, then that should give her a clue that somthing is wrong with the decision. i am firmly against abortion, and would try to convince her otherwise, but i would not enstrange myself. i would be there after the abortion(if she goes through with it) but i think i would be of little help to her if im freaking out in there because of my beliefs.
Logically,supporting a friend in this situation equals supporting abortion.But i would.obviously,i got double-standard here.
Yes.
Gotta stick with your homies. Period.
I think one can help a friend see other options as well in a loving way. But no one should ever force their “opinions” on another. And that is why i’m pro-choice. I actually do think abortion is wrong, but for ME! if some other woman or a friend of mine chose that, i’d respect it. It’s her life, her body and she needs to make those choices for herself. She doesnt need a country and government telling her that! And if i dropped her being a friend because in my eyes she “sinned”, boy i’d be a horrible person and not much of an example. Seeing as how we all sin every day! None of us are better than another. We just need to make choices that fit our beliefs for ourselves and stop trying to force them on everyone else.
Personally, abortion is one of those deal breakers in any kind of relationship. I try to prevent strong friendships with anyone that has expressed any personal pro-choice belief. Call me a judgemental prick, but people refuse to become friends over more obscure reasons that than. Such as if they are smokers, republicans, a type of physical handicap, money, and others personal attributes.
YES. I would first try to help her look at other options, but ultimately, I would do everything I could to support any friend who needed it.
Yes, absolutely.
No.
Not a chance.
i couldn’t support someone who wanted to murder an innocent child. i’d try to talk her out of it and show her the alternatives (adoption, ect), but i would not go with her to the abortion clinic.
amanda
im not against abortion
Not to support her but maybe to make sure that nothing bad happens to her health. I dont think i could make a friend be alone for something like that.. so even though i disagree i would go, just not in a supportive position.
Daniel (doubledb)
I think one can help a friend see other options as well in a loving way. But no one should ever force their “opinions” on another. And that is why i’m pro-choice. I actually do think abortion is wrong, but for ME! if some other woman or a friend of mine chose that, i’d respect it. It’s her life, her body and she needs to make those choices for herself. She doesnt need a country and government telling her that! And if i dropped her being a friend because in my eyes she “sinned”, boy i’d be a horrible person and not much of an example. Seeing as how we all sin every day! None of us are better than another. We just need to make choices that fit our beliefs for ourselves and stop trying to force them on everyone else.
————————————————————————————
Nicely put. Pro-CHOICE is when a person allows you to have a choice. You people are being self righteous. Some of you can’t seem to get that it is her choice. Some one mentioned a guy raping girlfriend. That is different in a sense. Same because it deals with morals, and the guy thinks its ok. But, that person is alive, and she will feel pain, its violating her. Fetuses don’t feel pain, its just propaganda to make you feel like shit. Besides, who will be able to do a ultrasound while one is getting a abortion to see if the fetus actually does? How would they know? A fetuses nerve endings aren’t fully developed until the end of the third trimester. And then theres the people who say a fetus is a baby, and that calling it a fetus is propaganda. NO! ITS A FRICKEN FETUS! Fetus means unborn, a baby is born.
Nicely put. Pro-CHOICE is when a person allows you to have a choice. You people are being self righteous. Some of you can’t seem to get that it is her choice. Some one mentioned a guy raping girlfriend. That is different in a sense. Same because it deals with morals, and the guy thinks its ok. But, that person is alive, and she will feel pain, its violating her. Fetuses don’t feel pain, its just propaganda to make you feel like shit. Besides, who will be able to do a ultrasound while one is getting a abortion to see if the fetus actually does? How would they know? A fetuses nerve endings aren’t fully developed until the end of the third trimester. And then theres the people who say a fetus is a baby, and that calling it a fetus is propaganda. NO! ITS A FRICKEN FETUS! Fetus means unborn, a baby is born.
<LI class=itemtimestamp>6/13/2007 9:16 AM
<LI class=itemsubmitter>another_evil_person (message)
How do you know that the baby can’t feel pain? Science is always changing. We are human, how do you know they were wrong? And people can get an abortion when they are farther along now… They can feel the pain, even if the younger one’s can’t. (And we can’t prove that.)
I would suggest to go to http://www.abortiontv.com it’s a very good sight that tells the TRUTH about abortion that people don’t want to hear/see. I would suggest for your friend to go to the site, people who had an abortion talk on there about how it changed them, pictures of babies that were aborted, I believe an actual abortion on tape (don’t quote me, I haven’t been to the site in a long time.)
No. Anyone who says yes that does not believe in abortion is definately being a hypocrite.
Are you her friend?
thats the question.
Yes, you should go with her. If you don’t support abortion, tell her that so at least she knows how you feel, but she’s your friend, and you should be there for her. This is probabaly a hard time for both of you, and you’ll need to support each other. (I’m pro-choice though, so it’d be much easier for soemone in my position.)
With a broken heart and pleading for her to reconsider . . . yes.
Oh yea, and it wouldn’t be being hypocritical for you to go, it’s not like you’re performing the abortion, you’re going and being there for your friend when she needs you.
Since I am against abortion 100%, then yes and no.
I would not drive her to the Slaughter House, but I would also try and explain her how she could have an adoption. Better saving a life then just taking one away.
I would really try my hardest to get her to consider other options- especially adoption, but in the end, I would be there for my friend. I would feel horrible if I didn’t at least talk to her about keeping the baby though.
I’d support the person.
Yes I am always there for my friends thru thick and thin!!
I would support her as a friend emotionally before and after, but I wouldn’t go with her to the clinic, no.
Of course.
No, I would be a bad friend if I did. I would take her somewhere else. Hell I’d even help pay for her medical care. But I would never walk her into an abortion clinic.
But, that person is alive, and she will feel pain, its violating her.
So… an unborn baby isn’t alive, am I reading that correctly? Just because you can’t hear it scream doesn’t mean it can’t feel pain. As someone else said; the child has different DNA than the mother which would mean it is a different human altogether. It’s not the mother’s choice because it’s not her body; it’s someone else’s.
I would support my friend at any rate, it’s their life and I think that being that its a hard decision anyway she would need support
No, but not because of the fact that I am pro-life. I knew a guy who was pro-life who drove a woman to have an abortion because she was a friend. She ended up regretting her decision and hated him for taking part in the action. You can love someone without helping them do something that you think is wrong. To support something you claim is wrong shows them that you don’t care about them. They’ll know that if you really cared you would try to stop them, because that’s what people do. Would you be a caring friend if you told everyone you were against drunk driving and then let your friend drive drunk? Even your friend would revile you as a useless hypocrite, especially if something bad happened. You can just see it, “If you knew, and if you’re my friend, why didn’t you take a stand and do something?” Friendship is about valuing each other, and helping someone do something you think is wrong shows that you don’t value them enough.
“A fetuses nerve endings aren’t fully developed until the end of the third trimester. And then theres the people who say a fetus is a baby, and that calling it a fetus is propaganda. NO! ITS A FRICKEN FETUS! Fetus means unborn, a baby is born.” -another_evil_person
That is saying a death is justified if a human life gets shot unexpectedly point blank in the back of the head and instantly dies. It’s true, a fetus is not a baby. A fetus is just the initial stage of a human life, just like babies, toddlers, teenagers, adults, and senior citizens are the subsequent stages in life.
For all those that are pro-choice, and are personally against it. What are your personal reasons to be against it?
yep
yes. i’m prolife, but if a friend needs me, i’m there for them.
Yeah. Of course, I would try to help my friend find a better solution than murder, but I wouldn’t abandon the friend for being a sinner like me.
Some people here have suggested that it would be hypocritical to support the friend in this case. I think the truly hypocritical thing would be to pretend like abortion is really worse than anything you’ve done, and to abandon a friend because they’ve offended your sense of the magnitude of wrong actions.
“For all those that are pro-choice, and are personally against it. What are your personal reasons to be against it?”
That would be a really great question, Dan.
“For all those that are pro-choice, and are personally against it. What are your personal reasons to be against it?”
i was taught that life begins at conception. i still think that’s right. So if i was faced with an unwanted pregnancy guess what, I WOULDNT GET ONE! i wont force others to believe the same thing though. You have some that believe that it’s just a bunch of cells. Either way, each individual in those positions needs to make the choice for themselves. Just because i wouldnt do it doesnt mean i think it’s my job to force that on the rest of the country. That’s just my opinion.
Most likely…I guess…but I would do everything in my power to make sure she explores other options first and all.
Of course I would go. She wants support. . .if you really think abortion is this big terrible thing, why then wouldn’t you think that someone who has the audacity to go through this oh so terrible thing will be needing some support sooner or later. Say. . .after-the-fact. . .
I doubt it would be:
“What, you’re not going with me? I guess I won’t go, oh well. . .”
I’d probably try to change her mind and make sure that’s what she actually wants, and then, yes, I would support HER, not the abortion. It’s worse to desert an emotionally damaged friend than to be thought a “hypocrite” by some judgemental and uncompassionate people.
While many feel that a “close” friend’s job is to be supportive in all situations, I feel that a true friend would never ask me to take part in something that I am against. I know that I would certainly never ask a friend of mine to compromise her own faith, values, or morals to assist me.
that is a very tough question, however, i dont believe in abortion in most circumstances, however there are a few select circumstances that i wouldnt be opposed to. however, i would ask her the reason for the abortion and tell her that i dont believe in abortion, but abortion is a very emotional thing and i would go with her just to be there, she will need lots of emotional support to make it through the first few weeks after. so yes, absolutely i would go- a friend is a friend and should be there for their friend no matter what.
Definitely not.
No, I could not – would you go with and support a friend who was planning to kill someone else? My conviction is that abortion is murder.
Yes. You should be supportive to your friend. I’d imagine that if I was against abortion, I’d try to help her find other alternatives first, but I’d still go with her.
But I’m not against abortion, so you never know.
I agree with ChrisRusso..
It would be really hard though..
that’s a really good question. i had a friend recently who had an abortion and we started meeting once a week before she made that decision to talk about spiritual issues and such and get her life back on track for the baby, then she came out that her dad wanted her to have an abortion. i’m against it and she was too, but it just “seemed right” for her. i didn’t exactly know how to handle it and i don’t know what i would have done if she’d asked me to go with her. i’m with her through anything so i guess i prolly would have gone
I don’t know if I could do it…being present for something like that would be a bit traumatizing for me.
While I am already pro-choice so my answer is biased that way, I am 99% sure that I would go and support my friend in her time of need. Even when I have not supported my friends, I have been there for them. I cannot see this being any different.
Yes, I would go with her. I aredently oppose abortion as a denial of civil rights to a select group, i.e. humans in utero. Love for a sister is unconditional.
Does she KNOW your opinion? I was in the same situation years ago… a dear friend in High School came to me and said I have a problem and I need you. I took a deep breath, set all of my opinions aside and held her hand. She was hurting, and scared and felt that was her only choice. Who am I to talk her out of her beliefs? At the same time, who am I to judge her? Instead… I am thankful she knew I was here for her when she needed me. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but it was her choice, and I love her and will support her unconditionally.
No.
No, but I’d be supportive for her not to have an abortion. (:
Actually, it probably depends on the situation. But even if she was raped or anything, I’m sure if she didn’t have an overwhelming pity over herself she could raise the kid and put it in adoption if she didn’t want it.
“A fetuses nerve endings aren’t fully developed until the end of the third trimester. And then theres the people who say a fetus is a baby, and that calling it a fetus is propaganda. NO! ITS A FRICKEN FETUS! Fetus means unborn, a baby is born.” -another_evil_person
That is saying a death is justified if a human life gets shot unexpectedly point blank in the back of the head and instantly dies. It’s true, a fetus is not a baby. A fetus is just the initial stage of a human life, just like babies, toddlers, teenagers, adults, and senior citizens are the subsequent stages in life.
For all those that are pro-choice, and are personally against it. What are your personal reasons to be against it?
<LI class=itemtimestamp>6/13/2007 11:19 AM
<LI class=itemsubmitter>Tzaddick (message)
I TOTALLY love what you wrote! It’s true – it’s a stage of life… I LOVE how you put that!!
breast implants…. human life….. not really the same.
i don’t think i could. when i was 9 months pregnant a good friend of mine told me nonchalantly she had just gotten an abortion and it wasn’t a big deal…. as i felt tiny limbs move inside of me.
after having my daughter, i wouldn’t be able to set foot in a clinic that murders innocent life. and any friend of mine would know better than to ask.
Actually I would. If they have their midn made up they need someone to be with them. Friendship is so important to me, and I’d go with her even though I’m against it. I don’t see the point in not. So you stand up for your principles, good for you. But at the same time your friend is all alone facing something really scary, life changing.
I would get together with her to talk. I would find out why she wanted the abortion and how sure she was that she was making the right choice. I would tell her that I am completely pro-life, but will be there for her if she needs me. I won’t pitch a fit, get bitchy, and tell her it’s my way or the highway.
I don’t like smokers, but have friends who smoke. I don’t like when people aren’t Christians, but I have non-Christian friends. I don’t like tattoos, but I have friends with tattoos. I don’t support breaking the law, but I’ve earned my fair share of speeding tickets!
I don’t think I could go with her – I know what gore goes on at abortion clinics, and I couldn’t stomach it, and my heart would break. I would try to see if we could find someone to go with her, and would be there to care for her afterwards, and would pray for her. I’m all for supporting my close friends, but I cannot support bad decisions or be a part of them.
There are other options – adoption is a great one, and results in a positive outcome!
i guess that all depends on what you care more about… supporting your friend or supporting a belief that YOU personally believe that not everyone has to agree with
id choose my friend
then again im not THAT against abortion… so i guess its harder a decision for someone that is
you also have to consider that abortion is a horrible thing to experience (even though it IS a choice) and if your friend asked your support knowing that youre against it… she most likely REALLY needs you…
I am against abortion unless the mother’s life is in danger, so I would try to convince her to find other options. I’ve never had an abortion, but from what I’ve heard about them, I would never want one. It sounds like it would be quite traumatic, and I’d rather prevent her from going through that.
I would go. And probably cry whenever she wasn’t around… but be strong and supportive when she was.
Yes
EccentricSiren wrote: I am against abortion unless the mother’s life is in danger
I just wanted to point out that a lot of times the Mother’s life is at risk, and they usually don’t die. It’s so annoying because Doctor’s make pregancy and child birth such a medical issue when it’s really not. Yes, sometimes there are high risks, but usually the “problems” are not a big deal. My Mom delivers babies, and she and I enjoy watching child birthing shows on the medical channel. She get’s so annoyed when the doctors are saying “oh the patient is at high risk” when my Mom is saying “The patient is fine.” And, sure enough the Patient IS fine. It also seems like they say “the baby will be deformed.” or have “medical problems”. (They thought I would have a clept palet, yet I was a healthy baby when I was born.) Yes, some do. But a lot of times they try to get the Mother to abort, they refuse and have a healthy child. Doctors to me seem to be almost always wrong… Their not perfect, but they try to hard to say they know it all when they don’t. I choose to have my future children at a midwife center. I would NEVER put myself nor my child though the complications of a hospital. When a child is born for example, first the head crowns, and once the head is out the sholders need to be born. Sometimes they need help, but usually do just fine. And once the sholders are born the baby slips out. What I just wrote is a quiet normal birth. However at a hospital, half the time they cut the mother (often oil will help the baby be born.) and they use suctions and actually PULL the baby out! I have seen doctors yank at the neck. Did you know that you can actually take a babies head off?! I always wait for it to happen on there… I can’t believe how rough they are! Instead of drying the baby off, cutting the cord after it stops pulsating (You’re suppose to wait, it’s not going to hurt the baby to, but they baby get’s stuff from it still.) and suctioning out the mouth they flop the cold naked baby around half the time not holding the neck, cut the cord as soon as the baby is born and jabbing the blue suction thing so far down it’s mouth that I am afraid the baby would gag. (It’s not good for the baby to gag after being born, I forget why exactly but I think it has something to do with stop breathing… I don’t know. I’m not the midwife, my Mom is.) Sigh… I can continue, but I am having a hard time typing I am so tired so I won’t. But before I finish: Half the time, doctors are wrong. The Mother’s life always seem to be at risk, and if every “at risk” baby were to be aborted, the human rase would probably be history.
Hell no.
It’s not that I’m choosing to force my belief on my friend, it’s that I am supporting what I believe to be the voiceless human inside of her. To me personally, that’s the equivalent of asking me to go with my friend to watch them murder someone. It would evoke that much emotion in me, and I couldn’t possibly stand by idly. And if I didn’t do something at the time to stop it, I would be racked with guilt for the rest of my life for being a part of that, so I’d rather not go at all.
First I’d try to talk her out of it because I am against abortion. But I’m not sure if I would go because it’d be hypocritical of me. But I think it’d be more of a point that I am there to support my friend, because even though I don’t agree with her, I would still give her support in anything she does.