June 18, 2007
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No Touch Rule
A middle school in Fairfax County has banned touching. They have not only banned fighting and inappropriate touching.
They have banned hugging, holding hands, handshakes and high-fives. The rule is “NO PHYSICAL CONTACT.”
The students are punished if they give a classmate a hug. The school officials believe the “no touch rule” is the only way to keep the school safe. Here is the link: Link
I think I went through jr. high and high school and didn’t feel the need to hug someone once.
Do students really need to hug in jr. high school?
Comments (200)
Duh!
That is ridiculous and kneejerk as a reaction for a school terrified of being sued. Should they regulate what they could listen to in the ipods and what books they can read too? It’s silly and Orwellian…
That’s pretty freakin’ extreme.
I certainly felt no need to, but many of my classmates did. It must be a hormonal thing.
I’ve seen boys in the hallway hold up signs that say, “Free Hugs” and there are some girls that actually hug them!! And some boys too.
i don’t think people NEED to touch anybody, but people still do it. i think humans want that physical bonding. i high five a lot and i also hug a few times.
friends hug. friends high five.
it’s just sort of a friend-to-friend thing.
not so much a student-to-student thing.
What if your mom died orsomething and your friends want to give you a hug? No, I don’t need to hug my friends every time I see them, but I think there are circumstances where hugging should be allowed for sure. When has hugging ever been a bad thing?
Hugging is pretty cool. But whatever.These guys need to lighten up, this is obviously a stupid move on their part.
No. But the real question is,
where the hell did you get that picture?
People need to touch each other. In Nazi Germany, they did an experiment where babies were raised without loving or affectionate touches. Mind you, they were given warm beds and the proper nutrition. But still, without that affection, those babies DIED. Perfectly healthy babies.
So to answer your question, yes.
Sure when I was in high school, if you touched anyone who wasn’t like your bf/gf, you were like “gay” or something you didn’t want to be labeled as…
BUT I’ve noticed that today teenagers are more into expressing their “love” for their friends and probably hugging a whole lot.
A high five?! I high fived strangers on Sat night in passing. Does that mean I’m in danger?
I hugged people. Its natural.
thats absurd
I dont know if one NEEDS to hug and touch. When i was in school there were times, mainly at the end of the year or at breaks, where we’d take pictures and you’d have your arms around each other or you’d hug each other when you say goodbye. I went to a christian school and we weren’t allowed to do that with the opposite sex, but we did anyway. I think that rule is a bit excessive myself!
I like hugs.
I didn’t hug anyone when I was in jr. high. I was at school to learn, not to be hugged by a zitty, awkward teen.
people hug all the time at my school, and they did in middle school too.
i think the school district’s position in this is ridiculous.
I read the article and apparently the teacher thinks the teenagers don’t know good touch from bad touch. It’ll get thrown out the window after the country starts laughing at fairfax county.
that’s just pretty ridiculous. like some people said above, they really do just need to lighten up. *high five*
Fight Mental Illness Stigma
That’s too extreme! These people are going overboard, IMO.
And what’s wrong with a hug? (as long as both parties are willing to participate)
Girls hugging girls and guys hugging guys, that’s fine in Jr. High.
Btw, I’m sorry you don’t see me often on IM! I was away in Singapore for a few days.
that policy is so ridiculous…
i mean you can obviously get by without ever hugging anybody, but it’s a harmless gesture of friendship and sometimes you just naturally want to hug someone or be hugged. there’s a big difference between friendly hugging and inappropriate touching, and the school should make those distinctions without banning physical contact altogether. thats just absurd.
I hug people all the time. It’s my way of saying hello and goodbye. I would be really ansy without any human contact…
Consentual hugging should be allowed.
I remember I used to link arms with my girlfriends from time to time. I suppose that wouldn’t be allowed either.
I think what they SHOULD do, is go back to requiring girls to cover their shoulders and have finger-tip length shorts/skirts. THAT is a major problem and THAT leads to inappropriate touching.
As a guy.. thats normal not to need to hug someone. As a girl.. we always hug. Even if we just saw each other.. an hour ago. I think that is too extreme.
That is so stupid. That pisses me off!
Gee whiz, I guess the guys can’t play football. There’s “physical contact” going on there.
Wow, that’s a pretty ridiculous rule. I don’t see how that’s going to help anything at all.
That is definitely way too far. I hug my friends all the time, and for some people, touching others is a way of communication (people are “touchy-feely”, i.e. Italians stereotypically are). I touch people on the arms if I’m comforting them, or trying to get a certain message across. I playfully hit people, too. Touch is something special to humans; do other animals hug or touch to communicate messages? No, they either fight or mate, out of need.
We all need physical contact! And not everyone “owns” a pet. . .
What the world is coming to?
I certainly enjoy touching middle schoolers.
Dan have you never been to a junior high? All they do is hug. it was so strange to me when I got into 6th grade, everyone just started hugging instead of waving bye.
That’s extreme, but maybe that’s what it’s going to come down to if schools keep being the way they are.
oneangelwaiting had an excellent point. . .
what if a family member or friend had died? Your friends aren’t allowed to hug you, let you know it’s going to be okay?
grrr. . .you really have no rights in school.
ohyeah, hugging was a huge sign of affection at the time i went to school – to get a hug from *him* would be the highlight of your day. the rule is a bit overboard, just like the law against low slung pants
the public school system has been on a constant downward spiral for the last century- one more reason to homeschool!
i was a loner in school so hugs weren’t afforded to me, but i can’t say that they should be taken away completely- what about sports team huddles?
WTF Dan, haven’t you ever seen pre-pubescent girls?!?!
When I was in middle/high school the preppy, popular, way too happy for their own good girls hugged everyone. And I mean EVERYONE.
But that’s lame. I remember our middle school banned hugs, said only a “side” hug was appropriate, but a “bear” hug, embracing each other’s fronts…. wasn’t.
No one followed that rule.
Meh. It’s not really necessary. It helps a lot of girls be more melodramatic though.
This rule sounds pretty psycho. My biggest beef with it is how micromanaging it is.
A day didn’t go by, where I didn’t get the “GET A ROOM” for kissing my boyfriend in the hallways. Life just would’ve been boring and mundane without it.
Seriously, though. Teenage girls tend to cry alot….and their friends need to feel like they can give them hugs or pats on the back.
Schools are going to end up being like prison…no junk food, no gum, no cellphones, uniforms, no touching. Poor poor little inmates.
my middle school had that rule. it was part of a whole new discipline policy when we got a new principal that everyone hated. It lasted about a week. Then none of the teachers cared anymore. At least in my grade. The kids wont care and’ll do it anyway. and i doubt the teachers will punish again after like a week. and yes, they do need to hug in jr. high school. It makes people feel loved
Yes, I think hugging is an acceptable behavior. I think these overzealous administrators need to stop this fear-based decision making!
of course! I don’t know about actual touching boys during school hours at that age other than to smack them for saying mean stuff, but my female friends and I hugged and held hands and played clapping games in Jr. High. I feel bad when kids can’t express affection. I think that rule is overzealous.
I’m sorry but there’s something called seretonin and if kids need to hug, let them. if it isnt suggestive, friends hugging means nothing >> what if they’re going through hard times, they’ll need that seretonin (which for those of you who are ignorant, it’s a neurotransmitter which tells the brain to be “happy,” that’s what happens when you kiss too.
Yes! I hope you are just being as sarcastic as usual?! While I don’t consider myself a “hugger”, I think touch is necessary to peoples’ lives. It confirms to them that they are worth something. That pat on the back or the small touch on the hand lets someone know they are special and cared for. I was an elementary school aide while I was still in High School -touch meant everything to these kids who were starved for a good word/look/touch by someone. I think someone would have to put a straight-jacket type of thing on me then. I see nothing wrong with letting someone know they are okay as a person and to be able to show affection to them is all part of that. Football games will have a new look to them, I guess!
hugging is healthy… and good.. haha. why would they ban such a thing.?
People NEED physical contact.
They need it.
I cant tell you how many times in middle school I went to school crying and needed hugs.
From teachers.
From other students.
Kids need touched.
That is all
Yes. It’s a basic psychological need- and a lot of the reason why single people own pets. They’re denying another full form of expression- a language, really.
How ridiculous.
“Do students really need to hug in jr. high school?”
Seriously, you think someone can answer this question? Are you trying to create a drone society? What makes jr. high school so unique that it should be questioned? Hormones, big deal. It’s just a hug. Sometimes american culture is so F*** cold it bothers me.
Hugging is part of social interaction, and girls especially, hug and link arms. It’s part of their societal ritual. To ban this is to limit their ways of expression. It circumvents the outlets that these kids have in school. I can understand the no kissing rule, but handshakes have long be a society ritual of greeting that date back to the era of the Romans, if not beyond. Now, not only that, as a jr. high teacher, touching is an integral part of our job. Most of these kids are wayward, come from dysfunctional homes, one parent, no parent, what have you. They look to us as parent figures and sometimes, the only physical non-sexual form of contact they will get throughout the course of the day is a genuine hug from a teacher. Physical contact expresses concern, love, guidance, trust, discipline and caring. I think this rule is just wrong.
well girls do… I don’t know many boys that hugged in middle school, or high school really or just in general… but girls do …all the time!!
BTW, hardly anything is “needed”. Just like blogs, computers, fashion, stylish haircuts, different cars, names, or anything else other than books, food, water, and shelter.
we hugged each other and i dont see what’s wrong with it
That’s really extreme.
HELL YES THEY SHOULD HUG! (If they want to) I read somewhere that a person needs something like 10 hugs a day. Why shouldn’t people hug? It’s sometimes a good pick-me-up without words & the person doesn’t even know how powerful that hug could be.
If you’re not a hugger, then don’t.
Facism.
That would be a good reason to sue that school for criminal stupidity.
I used to hug the boys, middle school flirting. lol
I can understand the pdas, kids that age are too young for that stuff. But high-fives? come on…
Straight up anarchy. Preparing our children for the future…
It’s like they’re raising veal calves. We’re a physical contact adverse culture as it is. Why make it worse?
this is a ridiculous rule that this school system is passing. physical contact is very important in my opinion.
Kids need embrace, not a gun case.
actually, they should also ban speaking. speaking causes rifts too. and if I ever ran a school, I’d ban looking. everyone must wear blinders. in fact… I’ll just have everyone home schooled. yup, that’s it. no touching, talking, or seeing. that would be ideal. a utopian school system.
Well.. i don’t know. While walking through the halls i bump into so many people. That rule would be hard to keep i think.
uhmm. i always hug my friends. even in middle school. and through out high school. espcially… the last day of school…
i have a feeling that teachers are gonna be ignoring that rule… cuz they probably think its stupid too.
looks like someone needs a hug
That’s insane. Honestly, I think those officials need to have their heads checked.
I think the “need” for physical contact (such as hugging) is subjective. There are those who need their space and don’t want to be touched. But then there are people like me who wouldn’t survive long in a school like that.
I guess some do….I think its kind of ridiculious with the whole “no handshakes or high fives” I mean these are people…what if someone bumps into someone else in the hallway…detintion?
Oh man, that’s a bit extreme. I think there should be limits about one’s personal boundries, but that should be set by the individual. I think hugging is fine as long as it’s a mutual thing. Having a No Touch ride does not necessarily make a place safe. I think it just gives those in charge, too much power!
Banning all contact is extreme.
Wow… that’s so sad. I think we’re really missing the boat on the importance of physical touch. You can still take a stand against inappropriate fondling without banning hugs and holding hands.
Wow. thats stupid. They tried to pull something like that when i was in jr. high, but it didn’t work.
Anyway, sure, if they want to. its hugging. Whoop de doo. Jr. Highers aren’t stupid little kids anymore, contrary to popular belief.
This may be the stupidest, most mean-spirited rule I’ve ever heard of.
That includes Fidel Castro’s banning of Christmas.
The world has gone insane. So, will a kid get suspended for shaking hands?
i hugged all the time in jr high. guys and girls. then again, i was homeschooled, so we were always pretty tight knit in my co-ops and sports teams. we were like family.
girls hug alot as well…especially if one of your friends is worried over a test, or a boy, or family problems at home…its only natural.
I wouldn’t last.
That isn’t about hugs. It’s about control and not wanting to get sued. Before we know it you won’t be able to look at people either.
imho, i think that is a bit too severe. i just graduated middle school and hugs/highfives happen ever day in almost every class. this is my way of thinking of it : if a friend is sad or is having a bad day what do you do? most people would give that person a hug to make them feel like they care and are important.
Sorry Dan, but your a guy. Most guys liket o hug their girl friends, but no one else. Girls are HUG HAPPY. I love to hug my friends.
I would say ‘piss yourself’ and I would hug my friends. ^_^
Being a teenager is hard. I only have my life experience to draw from and I can tell you that my friends and I often times turned to each other for support and, occationally, a hug. Sometimes you just need one when you are having a bad day.
Banning high fives? Now that’s just silly.
thats an extreme rule but i can kind of understand, it is getting to the point where its almost not safe for kids to go to school. i think more than anything that they are thinking of the safety of the children and that is definitely commendable.
i don’t think people NEED to touch anybody, but people still do it. i think humans want that physical bonding. i high five a lot and i also hug a few times.
friends hug. friends high five.
it’s just sort of a friend-to-friend thing.
not so much a student-to-student thing.
<LI class=itemtimestamp>6/18/2007 12:55 PM
<LI class=itemsubmitter>xdarlene
I agree with you 110%. I myself don’t go to public school and I am not a huggy/touchy person. However, for example at my church we are all like a big family and I enjoy hugging them there. I don’t enjoy hugging people I don’t know well, but when I know someone well I enjoy hugging them. A friend goes to my church, and just as a couple of weeks ago in fact I was going through stuff and I looked toward to her hug that day. I know why they want to have the “no touching” rule, and I agree with it – to a limit that is. High fives, hugs, are fine. I agree with not kissing at school ect… But when I go to open houses, it seems that any photo’s they have out have their friends in them – at school – hugging, arms around each other, goofing off. Ugh, I hate public school…
… Thats going a little far, isn’t it?
Theres no way you can keep the school positivly safe, no matter how hard you try.
And the shaking of the hands thing? What will the students do when their out of school and go into the “real world?” Meet a professor or future boss and when they go out to shake hands squirm away because “it’s not proper?” Yikes…
Girls were always hugging.
Girls are good friends are always huggy/touchy with each other (and no, not in a sick way). It’s a girl thing! Any girl who has had a best friend has hugged her at one point or another. :- I think it’s ridiculous that they are banning it. However, the high school I attended banned boyfriends/girlfriends from being touchy with each other. If you got caught hugging or snuggling you’d get in trouble. :-
No, they usually don’t need hugs but to forbid every contact is absolutely weird!
Also younger kids are quite physical by nature.
That’s stupid. o__o
I didn’t have any classes with my friends last year in school at all, so if we happened, by some chance, to be at an assembly or to see each other in the hallway, we would stop and hug and say hi. o_o
It was a friendly thing. There wasn’t anything wrong with it. >_> It wasn’t like anyone was groping anybody. Hug, peace out, see you Saturday, move along.
YES!
Without some form of physical contact people will go insane. If your best frind was upset over something, wouldn’t you give them a hug?
High-fives and frindly hugs should definitely not be banned.
that is absolutely appalling. when did we all become droids? physical contact is NECESSARY – we are physical beings! this is just another step in the dehumanization of the species. i can’t even believe that school. i wish i went there, so i could hug every person in sight. not that i don’t anyway.
Wow, kind of ridiculous. How very 1984.
There are plenty of reasons in junior high to need a hug. A death in the family, divorce, winning a competition, winning a sporting event. I had my first boyfriend in junior high, should I have not been allowed to give him a quick hug in the hallway?
These are seventh and eighth graders. 13-14 year olds. Do they really feel that’s appropriate?
thats got to be the stupidest thing ive ever heard.
yes, you do need to hug in middle school. trust me.
i need hugs.
and what about hug day tuesday (or wednesday, or friday)???
hugging is not necessarily romantic or sexual… it’s just a way of greeting and showing how much you care about another person.
how are you supposed to comfort your friends after a break up or greet them after a long school break?
i think the american culture in general is just so weird with the lack of touch and affection that are normal ways of greeting in other countries.
loosen up and share the love.
a hug ALWAYS makes my day better.
*hugs for everyone*
Trust me, you do. Or at least, I do
Girls always hug.
Just what we do..
“HEEEEEY!!!!!” *big hug*
Totally. Absurd.
“What if your mom died orsomething and your friends want to give you a hug?” ~one angel waiting
That is exactly what I was thinking. And at the end of the year, my friends and I always went around hugging each other goodbye. Hugs are fun!
I see with my hands. High fives and handshakes? High fives is almost ridiculous, handshakes extremely. Now if we’re talking about “giving daps” then that might be acceptable. But regular handshakes is a necessary skill for the working world.
By nature, and maybe lack of nurture, I frequently touch people when I talk to them, but then I’m in a “hands on” profession.
Yes. And handshake. And high-five. And hold hands.
How ridiculous.
Do they NEED to hug; no. Should they be banned from hugging? No, as long as the huggie is a willing receiver of the hug.
But then some unwilling don’t know how to say no.
Hmmmm. Dilemma
People need to touch each other. In Nazi Germany, they did an experiment where babies were raised without loving or affectionate touches. Mind you, they were given warm beds and the proper nutrition. But still, without that affection, those babies DIED. Perfectly healthy babies.
So to answer your question, yes.
exactly what I was thinking!
So I guess tonsil hockey is out, ha!!!!!
no.. not to mention touching can lead to naughty things
That’s pretty extreme. When I was in middle school, we hugged occasionally and high-fived, and at mass (I went to a Catholic school), we shook hands to give the sign of peace. Sometimes if we felt silly, we’d link our arms (my friends and I) and skipped through the hallway, Wizard of Oz style. But not touching period? These guys need to lighten up. I guess you can’t accidentally bump into each other either and help each other up if they tripped and fell. Ridiculous.
Safe from what? I understand PDA and all that but when girls hug? I mean c`mon, it was our signs of affection and friendship. So what’s next? Don’t stare at someone, it’s unsafe?
c`mon, that’s a little extreme for jr. high.
There are better things to enforce. Like cleveage? or mini skirts? Yeah I thought so.
That’s a little bit extreme.
wth.
maybe not middle school… but uhh.. definitely high school!
uhmm..yes!
I didn’t. There were some who did though. I think that not allowing any physical contact is likely to make students feel isolated. Feeling isolated could very easily lead to even worse school violence.
I did know a lot of people in jr. high and high school who high fived adn held hands. There were a few who would shake that was extremely rare from what I remember. In high school hugging was fairly big though it wasn’t in jr. high.
Jr. high kids don’t need to hug, they just like to. Hugs are symbols of friendship, after all. Banning physical contact is a ridiculously extreme measure to prevent lawsuits, I think.
Banning high-fives is also extremely stupid. What’s bad about a high-five? It’s a type of greeting!
I can’t help but wonder if these bans also apply to the faculty and staff of the school…
hah…well..
I think the more important question here is how dehumanizing lack of touch can be.
hah…well..
I think the more important question here is how dehumanizing lack of touch can be…:)
I distinctly remembered reading an article or two on how emotional and physical growth is either impeded or encouraged by touch or lack thereof.
I read the article and was particularly touched on how insulting it was.
It appears that middle schoolers lack the intelligence to discern what is appropriate and what is not.
also paranoid principals who dont get any touch at home…shouldnt impose their crap on kids.
just because she’s seen “pok(ing) escalate to fight(s)” is no excuse.
Though…it makes sense…all those hormones…what better way to quell all that then create an entirely unrealistic microcosm of society?
As I said, makes sense, makes sense.
haha
how absurd
What about a handshake? Does this rule include the faculty? You know there is a time and place for certain kinds of touching. If it is inappropriate or makes you uncomfortable then it should be an issue.
Human beings crave touch – and not necessarily in a sexual way. I like that my children are that way and think it is sad that school would try to stop innocent hugs. Kissing in school… that may be extreme but I did it and no one dropped dead or accused me of sexual harassment or me them. We called it PDA – Public Displays of Affection and it was against the rules but teachers did not enforce it cause who were we hurting? No one.
that’s a good rule… we should turn it into law everywhere else… and you know what? no talking too… that only leads to trouble…
i think they have taken it to the extreme.
my friends and i had hug contests in middle school
where we competed to see who could get the most hugs.
without hugs my middle school experience would have be bland.
and no high fives?
what is that. seriously.
i hugged people, especially in high school. i would sit close to friends in middle school all the time.
and what about gym class when you’re forced to learn dances? i hated having to touch guys sweaty hands
The USA is a great country in many ways, but some of the stuff you report here makes me wonder how you can find so many people - education authorities quite often, for God’s sake – who are plainly loosing their marbles.
It’s not so much the lunacies they try to enforce, as that they dream for one minute that they have the moral authority to attempt them.
Yes, there is a need to hug, even in junior high.
Middle school was a hugging jungle. I disliked it… but to many kids it was just normal. Anyways, how is giving a high five abusive? Why don’t they just put everyone in a bubble, I bet that’ll keep them safe -_-
rules like that actually being allowed to pass make me hate the world… hugs i think are so beneficial to life… and to not be allowed to give or receive one just because its… dangerous… is incredibly assinine… no you dont HAVE to have hugs… but why would anyone feel the need to take one of the most comforting things out of a stage of life that is considered one of the hardest…???
i hate people
oh and you know what… handshakes are something that should be taught… not banned
hugging is the best thing ever. EVER.
Very wrong. Humans are social and some level of touch is normal for us. There is inappropriate touching that a school would want to stop, but handshakes, hugs, high-five, and friendly pat?
yes, this is freaking ridiculous. I hug my friends a lot, or link arms with someone walking to class with me, or…. well yeah, I touch people a lot every day. Oh that is so stupid.
Good grief..thats stupid. Talk about gag on a gnat and swallow a camel…what will they come up with next?
what if im at school and i find out a family member died? or my bf dumps me? i want a hug damnit!
Having been a youth pastor, I understand the rule. BUT, I just can’t help remembering those studies with new borns and how touch helped them.
I think we all need touch.
I think many people, especially women, find comfort and security in touching such as hugs and holding hands; High fives are a symbol of “way to go” and “good luck”, hugs are symbols of like or comfort, and a handshake is a polite way to introduce yourself to someone. To take away these things from the children in our schools, may be okay in some peoples eyes, but the question that I would pose is, how will this affect this generation and forth coming generations and our society? Will this lead to a society that becomes cold and intolerant of others feelings? I think that it is important to remember that we as humans show physical contact as a way of expressing ourselves and our emotions to others around us, so that we can feel acceptance from our peers.
I used to hug in junior high. It was no big deal, but it took place mostly outside of school.
The rule is a little extreme.
some might.. that rule is stupid
Daniel (doubledb)
some people have a love language of physical contact and some people are very physically expressive. there’s nothing wrong with it and if you take away their right to be who they were made to be, that could cause problems for them psychologically
i despise when schools do this and pity the students who have to suffer through it.
I did.
How fucking stupid.
Hell yes they do.
It’ll get the people who get comfort from hugs through that tough period.
That is the most moronic, ridiculous rule I’ve heard yet.
yes.
this is just stupid.
they kind of did this in our high school, but it just says in the handbook “no pda of any kind” but only some of the teachers inforce it.
It reminds me of that movie The Island where these clones weren’t allowed to touch. Welcome to Amerika!
Welcome hugs can be very beneficial. Dumb rules can be very destructive.
Just more proof of what I have said many times. teacher can be and usually are rather smart and normaly good with kids.
School administrators are teachers who failed as educators, because they were idiots, who hated kids. Most would be unable to teach a dog that is was time to eat, let alone teach a child anything. And lets not forget they tend to be control freaks.
Hopeful the school board has enough sense to fire these idiots. Or the citizens have enough sense to fire the school broad if they don’t.
If they try such stupidity when I was in school, they would have needed to expel the entire school. If they are able to enforce this they have some real docile sheep for students.
i shake people’s hands when i feel lonely or annoyed. i don’t know if you have ever noticed how soft that little area of skin is between your index finger and thumb, right where your thumb goes when you shake someone’s hand. but shake hands with anyone and just rub their hand right at that spot. it feels like it is made of dough.
Wow. Maybe its just an all girl school thing, but in my high school, you couldn’t walk from one class to the next without being hugged!! This is a stupid rule. Physical contact is human.
What kind of touching were the officials who made this rule doing when they where in jr. high hundred years ago??? I’m sure once they all die off from old age (if the shock from two 12 year old kids throwing high fives doesn’t kill them first), the rules will change to something that makes more sense.
i hugged people all the time in jr. high. And it wasn’t in a sexual way….
whatever, that school wont be able to maintain that rule
I can’t remember seeing anyone hug in high school…unless it was a guy and a guy standing by the lockers.
that’s ridiculous. People don’t get touched enough to begin with.
where is the love? jr h igh would have been a bit harder if i didnt have all the hugs and affection (the non sexual kind) to get me threw all the backstabbing and drama
Need to? No. But they should be allowed to if they want.
In middle school there was a no PDA rule (public display of affection), which meant that we weren’t supposed to even hug. But it wasn’t strictly inforced because the teacher’s thought it was pretty ridiculous.
girls do.
Growing up as one of the older generations, we really did not have too much physical contact with each other. These new generations that I have observed lately are the most physical contact generation that I have witnessed……and I think I approve. They separate and 15 minutes later they meet and hug each other like they have been separated for years. Human contact…….how can you regulate such a mentally needed asset. I wonder how far the school is going to take it….if you stumble and start to fall, will someone get in trouble if they reach out to steady you or even catch you when you fall?
I like hugging people! Man that would really suck.
No. But I think the school’s decision is a little silly.
uh.. YEAH!
well. thats like asking if you just want jelly in your PB&J. you dont NEED to have the butter but it tastes better if you do. so its makes us feel better. hugs are like love….you cant avoid ‘em!
THAT is the most terrible rule I have EVER heard of in schools.
Makes me all the more glad I was homeschooled.
fairfax county, VA?
My mom’s friend used to teach there.
People may not need to touch eachother in school, but the last thing schools need are some more arbitrary (and/or extreme) rules.
Yeah, I agreed in middle school students probably don’t need to hug. But, it should not be abandon if they want to. There is no harm in hugs or pat on the shoulder.
Oh yeah, in jr. high our friends were on a hugging spree.
Thats how I got my first boyfriend, he hugged me the longest.
:]
Is it that widespread of a problem? I personally don’t think kids need to be having relationships in middle school with hand-holding and kissing and whatnot, but a hug is harmless.. and banning a high-five or a handshake is.. extremely ridiculous… I never needed to hug anyone in middle school, but if that’s all that’s happening that’s not a big deal.
I love that the article says “safe”.. because all high-fives turn into beatings/rapes.
Sometimes people actually need a hug. My grandfather died when I was in 5th grade and I must’ve been hugged by every kid in my class. Not to mention the utter drama that goes on jr. high. With all the puppy love crushes, and break-ups that girls swear they’ll never get over.
But on the plus side, maybe that awkward male ass slapping after football games will cease.
Of course I TOTALLY see how high fives need to be gotten rid of. I can’t tell you how many times I could’ve made a better grade if it wasn’t for the continuous, non-stop high fiving that went on. Such horseplay, *shakes her head*
es yes they do. Touch is a very important part of the human experience! So sad that the feel the need to be so reactionary about fighting.
my highschool is kinda like that. they yell at you or whatever for hugging or even highfives. it sucks. wtf. you cant hug your boyfreind in the hall.
This is stupid. I mean, people hug each other all the time in junior high.
Goddamn, what school is this?
i’m not a huggy touchy person..so tat rule really wouldn’t bother me much. but nowadays its quite impossible to not see anyone touch anybody.people in school are sooo touchy feely i think its sumtime quite ridiculous..they give extreme hugs…jump on each other…kiss each other..link arms..etc..any way of touching and they will find it..so i think tat rule will definetly be challenged if not rebelled against by the students..i think its a lil extreme. i understand no butt slaps.and makin out in the hall kind of stuff..but this does go jus a lil bit too far.
i think it’s stupid, having too many rules is just dumb
Here’s my view of it: I used to hate hugs. I’m a girl, just to make that clear. And until a year ago, I couldn’t stand hugs. Many of my friends didn’t like the fact that I hated hugs, and sometimes they got upset with me over it. Then I went on a mission trip where I repaired peoples’ homes with 5 other members of a group I was in. When it came time to leave, I realized that there was no way I could tell my groupmates how much I had come to love them unless I gave them a hug. And ever since then, I’ve had no problem with hugs. For me, it was growth in maturity, as well as God working in my life. I think that if my high school were to institute a rule such as that, I would petition for it to end. In my opinion, others have no right to tell me that I can’t tell someone else I love them, because sometimes things like that can’t be communicated just through speech. That is a very extreme measure to take, and I hope they come to realize the impact they are making on the kids in that school and ban that rule.
our society has grown so cold. whats wrong with hugs!? next thing you know parents wont be able to hug their kids because its sexual harassment.
How are the children going to learn that there is appropriate physical contact to display with friends. This may teach them that touching is bad leading to intamicy problems as adults….
That is ridiculous. People need to feel loved and cared about. No touching? What’s next no laughing?
YES ! i loved hugs. they always made me feel so much better.
when people cannot think, they legislate! But god help us when people feel no more! what lunacy!~ Hugs stimulate endorphins – prevent disease – no doubty they would imprision the hindu “hugging” saint!
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That’s insane. No hugging?!
I hug EVERYONE, as long as they’re comfortable with it! It helps sad people feel better, shows friends that they’re loved, and is a gesture of thanks and love. It’s harmless. Whoever got killed from a hug?
I don’t see hugging as a bad thing. I do understand why they would ban kissing or other kinds of pda between couples, because that might make people uncomfortable and be distracting, but a simple hug is nothing bad, or a high five, I see no reason why that has to be banned at all, I find that somewhat stupid, actually.
I know girls need to someimes. I do like Halfy79′s commentary on actually HAVING a reasonable dress code and, you know, ENFORCING it.
Oh brother….I’m so glad my kids are not in school in Fairfax County anymore. It is a great school system in many ways, don’t get me wrong. But they are so PC it’s not even funny. When we were there 10+ years ago, it was against the rules for the teachers or kids to say or use the word “Christmas.” Yet they could say, learn about and write reports and do artwork about Hannukah and Kwanzaa. Another example of how over-the-top they are is that my son, age 9, in 1995, TWELVE years ago, received a 10 day out-of-school suspension for having a fingernail clippers on the school bus. It was a special personal item of his dad’s, who had just passed away, and had a special design on it from one of the trips his dad had taken. He wasn’t doing anything with it….just looking at it. They considered it a weapon. What was he going to do, clip someone? Ridiculous. Now they can’t even high-five or hug – GOOD things!
Human touch is vital especially for a young person. Touch nurtures a kid and places value on them. I think this is an extreme knee-jerk reaction to improper student/teacher relationships as well as stopping romantic displays and bullying.
I think its extreme and a mistake. So what happens to the kid whose mom just died and needs a hug, or the kid who is going through a crisis and needs a simple hand on the shoulder, or some meaningfull touch.
Psychologists believe people need several meaningful touches a day to be healthy. Why do you think they use volunteers in the neo-natal unit in hospitals to hold and rock preemies and babies born addicted to drugs? It helps them recover.
I work with dozens of teens every week and sometimes they just need a hug or a high five or some demonstration they are loved.
That’s quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of.
It’s a desperate action spurred on my nervous parents, and a pushover administration. They’re doing nothing but pissing kids off, and making already massive hormonal tension rise to an eventual boil over. Thank GOD we have so many brilliant minds running our school system and making it obsolete.
hugging was always a way of me greeting friends. but i’m in high school now. and the only no contact rule is that girls cant hug guys.
ppl in my school (im in high school) hug each other every day. they dont really need to hug each other ALL the time since they see eachother everyday.
but banning touching?? thats too much
I’d hug everyone out of spite.
I think girls do more than guys, definitely. High fives though???
My teachers and I hug. Does that mean I can sue them?
(I should note that I’m in college, but even so…)
I think that rule is stupid. We have the same rule at my school. It just isn’t enforced or as strict. You are supposed to get suspended for hugging/kissing. I know people who have. Yet we do it anyway. I also live in VA.
That’s an unbelievably stupid rule. How can the adults that run our schools be such asses?
That is absolutely ridiculous.
[ariana]
No. I’m in HS, but even in Jr. High I liked to hug my friends when I was leaving church or some place that I saw them. Yes it was only for the girls, but I can’t believe that they’re banning like, high fives and everything! That’s rediculous. What are they going to do when there’s a bunch of kids in the hallway and they bump into each other, or they are squished together to tightly on the bleachers at a school event?
excuse me, it’s ^^^ridiculous.
I think its extream. Close friends tend to hug, especially girls, or if someone is having a bad day. I think its stupid to ban postive touching.
No they don’t.
I’m not saying that I agree with the rule, but it’s not as if they’re preventing students from physical contact outside of school.
that article literally made me laugh.
My favorite part was about the grey areas. “they think, if i can get away with a high five, i can get away with this”
oh, what a great quote…
Physical contact is one way of socializing with each other. These kids are mature enough to know not to fight and do stupid things like that. Let them have contact! >.<
During Middle School…I was hugging my friends constantly, and they were hugging me. I think it’s a safe way of showing affection for each other, and shouldn’t be banned.
Middle School kids really crave that phyical contact….they have hormones going crazy.
Besides, most of it is between friends. It’s not distracting, really. And it’s definitly not dangerous.
They could kiss my ass. That pisses me off. I would high five everyone just so the school couldn’t do anything about it. If I got in trouble, I couldn’t be prosecuted for it, it’s simply silly.
It’s a form of culture.
In France they give the side kiss…In the USA, we give hugs.
WHAT KIND OF SATAN SCHOOL DOES THAT???
YES! I hug people at school every day. 3-4 hugs a day. I can’t imagine getting in trouble for it!