August 24, 2007
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Divorce
Pastors Randy and Paula White announced before their congregation that they were getting a divorce.
They are the pastors of a 22,000 member church that they founded. Randy said he would still be the pastor of the church. He said he “would focus on being a ‘great pastor’ and a ‘great dad.’” Here is the link: Link
I Timothy 3:4 gives one of the qualifications for a pastor. It says that a pastor must be “one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity.” This is a passage that is used with others by some to say that a person cannot be a pastor and be divorced.
Can a man be a good pastor and be divorced?
Comments (103)
I don’t think a man can be a good pastor and married, but I’m just Catholic.
But by your rules, no, it appears one cannot be an effective pastor and be divorced.
God hates divorce.
I’ve never met a good pastor. None of them agree with my lifestyle: killing women.
Can someone be a good Christian and be divorced?
Who knows?
It sounds like we have another pastor who is chosing to ignore what the Bible says.
Not in this case. God forgives, but this is blatant rebellion from God’s word.
Yawn.
I’d say he didn’t manage his household well……. Seems at the very least it would make counceling troubled couples more difficult, why take his advice over something he couldn’t achieve?
Depends on why he got divorced?……………………LOL
As long as he is not friends with Ted Haggard…then he is OK…
Come on- why Not, I say Yes !
oh, brother.
There are biblical reasons for divorce.
Can he be a good pastor? in my opinion yes. But hey, you have a church full of people who expect the pastor to be perfect in everything (even though it’s not possible) so i’m sure the majority would say no on this.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Many in my “circle” have been big followers of these two. They have preached about the importance of the family. I know people that have made mistakes. That doesn’t matter to me. They repent and go on. I haven’t read this story yet. If they are just separating and saying let everything go on like it was, I have a problem with that.
- if they believe that the work of God cannot go on without them, I have a problem with that.
- if they believe that you can just walk away from a marriage and things go on as normal, I have a problem with that.
Will I go out of my way to listen to them again? I don’t think so. Do I had them or dispise them? No.
it depends on the situation…
Lol @ kike.
Sure why not.
God does hate divorce. But in certain situations, it depends on who did what to whom. Did he cheat? Did his wife cheat? Did either abuse each other? Sometimes those things cannot be overcome.
Yes they can be a good pastor and be divorced, it just depends on what caused the divorce.
Who are we to judge?
Even a pastor makes mistakes. Who said he was “Jesus”?
I never heard of them, but the moment I saw they founded a megachurch I was not only not surprised, but couldn’t care less. I feel sorry for the people that believed in them tho.
I don’t get it…
How and why are they divorced? I mean, I guess we can never fully understand but I’ve always believed that a marriage based on God is like..flawless……
..and I still believe in that.
yes, but he needs to solve the issue of the divorce and go through it first…Pastor White should take a sobatical (sp)
God hates people who judge divorce.
Interesting that you ask if the MAN can be a good pastor after divorce. How about his wife?
The article does not state the circumstances of the break-up, but it doesn’t sound as though there is a scriptural basis for divorce is even being insinuated.
If you see such a divorce as a decision to live in on-going disobedience to God, then it would be hard to imagine how the pastor could possibly lead his congregation toward biblically-based obedience. Every one sins, even pastors, but we shouldn’t plan to continue in it.
Some see divorce as a single event in time — an event that (sinful, though it maybe) one can move away from in a more positive direction. In that case, there is room for pastoral restoration and an eventual continuance of ministry.
In either case, the Whites still have much to offer the world, regardless of what office they hold. At least I assume they do. Frankly, I’ve never heard of them.
it really depends on what forced the divorce…but according to the bible, there are only a few reason to obtain a divorce. If those criterias are met, I don’t see how that changes ones pastoral duties.
i.e. : if the woman abandones her husband…he has a right to divorce.
Also people who say we can’t judge…is incorrect.
We can’t judge if someone is saved or not…that is true…but we CAN and NEED to judge people who are doing hurtful things to themselves, church, family, friends and or society.
Are we not to judge Michael Vick? yeah we don’t know if he is saved or not, but what he did to the dogs…is something we can judge him on!
This is so compelling considering what Bishop Weeks and Juanita Bynum are going through. The link is on my site.
Yes. We have no idea what caused them to divorce, but I think you could potentially commit greater sins inside a marriage that should be ending (adultery and wrath spring to mind) than you would if you just ended it. Also, there are siuations where ending the marriage is just the right thing to do. Ending a marriage is a heartbreaking experience, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t love God any less or that they should lose their jobs. I think enduring the trial of going through a divorce may give them more strength of character that will make them better pastors.
Yep.
I guess the sex wasn’t that great huh.
:/
The bible says no.
Of course, he can be a great pastor. They are not some kind of super-humans! They’re just like the rest of us. They sin, I sin, we all sin. People make mistakes. No one is perfect. I know divorce isn’t something God is happy about. But neither is lying, cheating, addictions, etc. What if that pastor told a lie before? Maybe it’s not a big lie–not something to get excited about. But it’s still a lie. Could he still be a good pastor? Of course he can! That’s why Jesus died on the cross in the first place. He can be forgiven for lying or having lustful thoughts for another woman, so naturally he can be forgiven for divorcing his wife due to reasons which–I’m sure–were very carefully discussed.
It is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to note that the Bible does not outlaw divorce. It basically says that even though God would prefer couples to live it out with one another, since it is a contract between two sinful humans, it does and will occur. In Deuteronomy 24, God even created some rules protecting the divorced. The Bible never says that divorce is a sin – unless the person chooses to remarry, BUT this is considered NOT sinful if in the previous marriage your spouse cheated on you. Have a look.
Mathew 19-9: “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
The only real thing against divorce in the Bible is that God has a distaste for it. Malachi 2:16: “I hate divorce, says the Lord God of Israel.” Turns out I hate divorce too, and so do many people. Whenever you have divorce you have suffering. But it’s better than suffering through a poor marriage.
The idea being conveyed in the Bible is a great one. Treat marriage as a very powerful thing. If you don’t think you can commit, then maybe you shouldn’t do the marriage thing! If you do, it will result in suffering, and the suffering will be your fault for not being more cautious and choosing the perfect partner. Unless the girl cheats on you, in which case, it’s not your fault and you’re fully okay to go and remarry.
Thus, this pastor is okay.
-David
(Unless, according to Jesus, he remarries and there was no cheating in the previous relationship. Then, it would be adultery, according to Jesus.)
-David
Yes.
Depends on the reason they are getting divorced. Is it Biblical? Is it his fault? I don’t have time to read the link, so I can’t comment, really.
I don’t see any reason why they can’t be a good pastor. Pastors are not supposed to be perfect. However, the reasons behind the divorce could have a big effect on whether or not he should even try.
Of course he can. How he parents has nothing to do with divorce. If he has been a good pastor, he will continue to be one.
they’re human.
Can a man declare God’s truth when he lied about his wedding vows?
The article is very slim on information. It seems that a lot of it is speculation about what will happen. That irritates me. I do however get the impression from the article that neither of them has tried all that hard to get the relationship to work. It does greatly concern me also that both of them have been divorced before.
I never did like the megachurches. I always feel lost inside them and never really get connected and to me relationship with other people and with Christ is what church is all about.
I think he just disqualified himself from being a pastor.
I just read that they have both been divorced before. Perhaps they should both take some time off and figure out why they are having failed marriages. Ministry is hard on families, so it would be advantagous to take some time off and reconsider their motivations.
done and done
No.
It’s all a bunch of crap in the end, so who really careS?
Pastors just preach and live like what they are- Human Beings.
A person’s first duty is in his relationship with God. His second duty is to his family. Then comes his occupation, even if his occupation is ministry. So if his ministry is causing a divorce, it’s an indication that his priorities are out of whack.
Jesus said the only real reason one could divorce (assuming both are believers- which these two are) his or her spouse is for adultery- and even then they should try to reconcile. It’s people like this who bring shame upon the name of Christ- who think they can just twist the Scriptures to their own interpretation. This is why the world mocks Christians and rightly so. We are to be above such behavior.
As to whether he should continue pastoring his church… well what if it were another outright rebellion against God like committing theft or murdering someone? God sees all sin as equal even if we don’t. For the moment, no, he shouldn’t continue pastoring. In the event that he and his wife repent and get their lives straightened out, fine.
Would it be managing a good household if you stayed married, even if you hated your spouse?
I just read the article, and I agree with Issymae, that since this is their second divorce they both should seek guidance. I also wonder why they did not share a last name?? Just an observation… nothing more.
There was an implication to adultery, though it was not stated. I may have just read into it too much. Regardless, I think it’s best that they both stop pastoring. Just my opinion.
Have a great weekend…Dan
it is a very delicate situation. the man should not get a divorce, but if he does, he should step down for at least a period of time from his post, and reassess his life and attitude.
there is no black and white, one-solution answer to this question
why is the woman a pastor in the first place?
maybe, I think it depends on why they are getting divorced – there could be more serius issues
Daniel (doubledb)
They have already both been divorced! The bible says that the only reason for a man to put away his wife is adultery and then she is not allowed to remarry. I don’t recall whether he is permitted to remarry or not. Either way – from that stand point alone they should not be leading a church. It is religious hypocrisy at its worst.
Can a man be a good pastor and be divorced?
No, I don’t think he can. Divorce represents the failure of a marriage. Everything a man of God preaches about overcoming struggles and forgiveness is disqualified by their life choices when they are divorced. I know that Charles Stanley’s ministry has survived his divorce — or so it seems. Many would say he is a good pastor.
Accepting that divorce is okay for ministry leaders is a slippery slope, in my opinion.What’s next, if divorce is okay?
It would be hard for me to listen to someone talk about God and how we should live when he wasn’t taking his role as a Husband and father seriously first. None of us are perfect, none of us are in any position to “judge” another person and condemn them, we can however look at their lives and the way they conduct themselves outside of the pulpit to see if they are actually practicing what they are preaching. I have to question his belief in an all Powerful God if he doesn’t believe his marriage is salvageable.
I don’t think people are saying that they aren’t Christians anymore or that they aren’t “good” Christians, but he shouldn’t continue to be in a postition of leadership, while his family is falling apart.
There are good pastors?
There are so many different reasons for a person to divorce their spouse, that in order to judge someone, even a priest, for doing so, you would have to find ways to justify not leaving a person under the worste circumstances.
more religious people. they appear clean on the outside, but on the inside there is hurt. they try to hide their sin. and now every knows about it. its one thing to get a divorce. but its another thing to get a divorce after you’ve been playing for years like everything is ok. He should submit to God’s word and resign
more religious people. they appear clean on the outside, but on the inside there is hurt. they try to hide their sin. and now every knows about it. its one thing to get a divorce. but its another thing to get a divorce after you’ve been playing for years like everything is ok. He should submit to God’s word and resign
I think he’d be a better pastor. Sadly, divorce is becoming more common-place. If people talk to their pastor about marriage-woes, it’d be nice to talk to their divorce-woes to a pastor who has experienced divorce. Besides, I don’t think staying married for the sake of religion is a good idea either, I think that’s the only reason my parents are still together. Most people get married when a baby is brought into the picture, but it’s much healthier for the baby if the parents are happy, and forcing themselves into an unhappy marriage for eternity because their religion doesn’t believe in divorce is not the best environment, nor example, to be teaching our children.
ABSOLUTELY. And really, you can read that passage and come to the conclusion that this pastor DID manage his household well… he came to an executive decision and they’re obviously mutual about it!!
Pastors are HUMAN. They are not perfect by any means.
No.
Sure, but would it be biblical?
My mom is a pastor. She got divorced (and remarried – to my dad)before even starting seminary.
She pastors two small churches…50 and 25 in attendance each Sunday (though I’m not sure what the numbers have to do with anything)
What does this say about her?
It depends. There are biblical grounds for divorce (adultery and abandonment as stated in Matthew 5:31-32 and 1 Corinthians 7:10-16). If either of these is the reason and the pastor is not at fault then he may continue to preach. If these are not the reasons, or he is at fault, then he should step down at least for a time and possibly for life. It depends on the situation.
If he’s a good leader, the issue is between him and God, isn’t it?
’nuff said…
This is a hot topic in my denomination right now (Assemblies of God).
Sure he can. I hope u keep up w this story n let us kno wht happens when he dates sum1. D church is such a circus.
It really depends on why they divorced.
The article says that the husband took full responsibility for the split. If it was truly his fault, there is no reason he should be allowed to lead a church family either… at least take some time off to make sure it won’t happen again. Alternatively, his wife, who is also a pastor, should be allowed to continue preaching. If she truly was sinned against, then there’s no reason she should be punished for having a terrible husband…
Yes.
as long as he doesn’t commit adultery after
Can a person be a good pastor and be on TBN?
This question is complicated. 1) Depends on why he is divorcing. 2) I think he needs to take a sabbatical just to regroup. 3) I can only imagine what kind of example he is setting.
Hmmm complicated question
No
It depends on the reasons for divorce. If it was just not getting along with his wife, that seems like his household is not under control. However, there are abusive situations, yes women can abuse husbands!, and if it is a bad place for the children then it seems that it would keep the household under control by divorcing. By taking away divorce as an option people could be seriously hurting others unintentionally. I think the church he belongs to should look deeply into WHY he is getting a divorce, and then decide from there.
God used an ass with Balaam so why can’t he used someone who is divorced?
What is laughable is the fact that these two are already asses. I can’t stand them especially her. She revolts me with her false preaching especially during telethons for PTL. Thank the Maker I dont’ have to listen to that garbage anymore.
Ugh, they can do whatever they damn well please. If a pastor isn’t supposed to divorce then their bad (oopsiees??!). What are they going to do? Find a different job just because they divorced. They’re human beings too.. & If he resolved the issue within his marriage.. Then great!
No.
Under god, those promise and vow “till death do us part.” Those who divorce and break those promises take god and their religion lightly……..therefore…hes not a good pastor…not relaying Gods wishes and intentions and setting an example.
Not enough information….however, it would be good if they both took a break to really figure things out. It’s also not fair to their congregation. 22,000 people? If you’re going to be honest then be honest all the way….tell them why. Maybe it would help some questions and confusion. God is good but He’s not the writer of confusion.
define what managing a good household is.
If staying together is harming their children then I believe God would advocate the divorce.
Can he be a good pastor divorced? YES
Should he be a pastor? My vote is for NO!
I would rather have a pastor who was honest and in touch than one who is in denial and forces a marriage to stay together when it clearly isn’t meant to be.
A good pastor is one who is honest, caring, and looks out for his flock. He does not have to be perfect, because humans are not perfect.
Yeah. Who cares what he does with his wife? Sheesh.
absolutely!!
Who?
Yes, God does truly hate divorce, but God has also called us to peace. He wants His children to live in peace. Of course, He does not expect us to think or believe that we can just divorce at the drop of a hat or when trouble hits the marriage. He definitely expects us to be longsuffering and to learn to be patient and less into self and most of all to learn to respect and honor God’s voice and instructions to us personally above anything or anyone. Everyone’s situation is different! We do not serve a God that would allow His children who sincerely trust in Him to continue to suffer at the hands of someone who refuses to be obedient or respectful. This is why it is so important to acknowledge God in all of our ways so that HE can direct our paths in the right direction! If we would practice to do that… seeing He is the Creator of the Universe and knows all, we would know when to continue fighting for our marriage and when it is okay to get out of a pathetic situation because He already knows the end of a thing! Many times people have gotten into wrong relationships in the first place because of not acknowledging God first; the ONE who knows all, and then obeying Him!
As far as whether a man can get a divorce and still pastor. It still depends on what God has to say. It’s a HEART issue. Has the man truly repented or not? Does God say He needs to sit down a while or maybe even completely. Again, every body’s situation is different. There are instances in the bible where God allowed men of God to continue in their positions after TRUE REPENTANCE took place (there is no real restoration without true repentance) and there are times, such as with Saul, where God completely removed him from his position as leader. Why? Because it’s a HEART issue (has the man or woman truly repented or not). God also says, He gives mercy where He chooses! The things and the matters of God belong to the God! Ultimately, He makes the final decision and He will do the judging! If He decides to give mercy to someone, there’s nothing any man or woman can do about it. Also, Them that think they can ignore God’s voice and instruction and do what they want to do anyway after God has told them…No to something, they will not get away with it anyway, either!
Yes. The bible says we should not be unequally yoked. I had to get a divorce myself, because my ex husband was an adulterer. I think that a minister can still lead his/her flock even if they do divorce.
ok…so late in the day. but here is MY two cents
They both were on their SECOND marriage; they both need help. God’s ideal must be true love in one marriage. Looks like this is a problem area for BOTH of them. Can they in their impaired state also give the help required of a pastor? What a pastor does varies a lot from group to group. Well, being a mega church, they probably are non denominational, so however their church is organized – they should abide by a) the Bible and b) the church organization as it stands. I think it should really be obvious they need to delegate major powers. And be very submissive to a board of some kind. In such a situation, it could be possible to pastor. As a “full charge” pastor with virtual total control – probably not wise. But from a practical point of view.
no! He needs to step down and reevaluate the situation, find out why it happened and resolve the issue. She needs to step down also, they need to take a sabbatical..God does hate divorce that is true. This pastor and his wife need some serious help! If they can resolve and reconcile them maybe they can go back to the pulpit if not they need to walk away!
It depends on why he got divorced
Paula can’t even be a pastor according to Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, but I disgress. Both must resign from the ministry.
forgiveness yes. choosing divorce as a pastor? hypocritcal… terrible example. even if it is in this ‘day and age’. sad for those who look up to them. tho i dont doubt what a struggle their life must be!
He could have the preaching and counseling skills, but definately not. I lose respect for people who are divorced. For a pastor, it doesn’t set a good example for the church.
Uh, no.
Yes.
When he’s got custody of his kid and he can raise him right, sure, he can still be a pastor.
If his wife’s got his kid…then it won’t quite matter.
Previously divorced, changed, and grown into a better person – yes.
In the middle of a divorce while claiming to be a pastor – not really.