September 23, 2007
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Introverts
I was asked this question via the message feature by http://www.xanga.com/pinkcandles:
“Do you think the society unconsciously discriminate against introverts and prefer extroverts?”
Do we unconsciously discriminate against introverts?
Comments (100)
I do think the qualities of an extrovert are glorified in our culture.
sure, why not?
Yes, although I don’t know if discimrinate is the right word. It might just be that our culture pressures everyone to be extroverts. Just as some cultures pressure everyone to be introverts.
I agree with barenakehd
You can’t get anywhere if you don’t make yourself noticed
it’s not discrimination if you’re not interacting with the rest of us!
I have no preference, but television and blogs would be pointless (perhaps nonexistent) without extroverts.
yes because we like people that voice their opinion and ideas. It’s just how we get to know best people, by verbal communication
extroverts are glorified. People who quietly do a good job without bragging about it to everyone they see often are passed over for promotions if they ever got the job in the first place.
Yes, that could be true.
Yes, to a certain extent it is very true. On the other hand, there will always be a place for every personality type, and wise, mature people realize this.
extroverts are preferred for sure
I think it really depends on the introverts. I put up a front when I’m in public or when I’m blogging online, but I greatly prefer to be alone and safe. There are many artists, writers, musicians and other creative people who are successful despite their inner desire for privacy.
Most introverts, however, don’t fare as well in America’s “Go Get ‘Em!” environment.
it’s not discrimination at all, that doesn’t even make sense.
it’s a ‘survival of the fittest’ type thing.
the people who put forth effort to be more involved are thus involved.
Discriminate intentionally? No. But the squeaky wheel gets the grease…
Introverts are misunderstood. To be introverted isn’t to be anti-social or incapable socially. Introverts must expand energy to be social while extroverts draw energy from social interactions.
Yes, society discriminate against introverts – but it discriminates against a lot of things.
Well, yes. It’s much more easy to get to know someone when they’re talking to you and out doing things. Introverts aren’t “out and about” as much as extroverts. It’s not so much discrimination as it is some people are just easier to like.
Maybe.
I’m an introvert and I discriminate against introverts…. and extroverts.
We tend to notice the things that get our attention, and introverts don’t like to be the center of attention while extroverts go out of the way to be noticed. Introverts will even discriminate themselves. I’d think how much attention one receives from society is how one would define how introverted/extroverted a person is. The question seems a bit redundant, unless I’m misunderstanding.
Being introverted is a characteristic. Discrimination in the way it’s asked seems to imply that it’s irrational, but you can’t be irrationally discriminatory towards a characteristic – that’s like saying, “Does society discriminate against angry alcoholics?” Some jobs and social positions are simply better for extroverts, and vice versa for introverts. There are many employment positions which tend to favor the introverted. It really depends on the direction the person wants to go.
-David
No, I think it’s pretty conscious.
Consciously as well. As a shy and quiet person I am regularly excluded. No one thinks the quiet one wants to join a coversation or eat lunch with you. But it’s what we crave more than anything.
No; it’s conscious and obvious.
Sure
I think so, unfortunately.
I think introverts are refreshing!
yes.
I don’t think we discriminate against introverts. Extroverts by their nature put themselves out there to be noticed by their words and actions, so of course they are going to get more attention. It’s only natural. To give an introvert attention, you’d have to seek them out, and that’s obviously not what an introvert wants. If a self proclaimed introvert is feeling bad because they don’t get enough attention, then they need to look at themselves and ask what they are doing to get it. They can’t expect others to do the work for them, they have to put some effort into relationship.
Introverts discriminate against themselves. I speak from experiance
…I’ve never thought about it…but I would say no. Our behaviors often determine how we will be percieved and accepted….extroverts just “earn” whatever treatment they receive, although introverts can do the same by letting their quality of work, etc. speak for itself.
I believe so. Being an introvert myself I found people assumed I don’t like to join certain event because they think I’m not that type of person who does. Well, their assumptions are wrong and it will be nice if they asked me or get to know me better before making that assumption about me. Their is another side to everybody’s personality. Don’t always assume based on stereotype.
Yes.
But I agree — it’s not subconsciously — it’s open and out there…
maybe not discriminate. but i think it’s pretty natural for people to be drawn towards extroverts.
kneesoxrock – i feel exactly the same way.
Not that I know of, but I’m an extrovert.
I agree with finding liberty….I don’t know if I’d call it “discrimination”, but I think there’s even research that teachers call on extroverts more often to answer questions, things like that. At teacher college, they taught us to make sure we call on girls and boys equally, and shy and outgoing kids equally, because statistically, it’s usually the boys and the outgoing ones who get all the attention….which makes the girls and the introverts feel more inferior. It’s a stereotype, and it’s ingrained from early on. Some of us just don’t feel like being the loud, squeaky wheel, being obnoxious, or calling attention to ourselves – it doesn’t mean we don’t have thoughts or feelings or that we don’t want to do things with others.
They have discovered a gene for shyness, by the way, a while back. It’s not a personal choice to be this way – someone a few lines back said “oh, just put yourself out there, or you’ll never get anywhere!” That’s a huge, scary step for an introvert, at times. I’ve come out of my shell quite a bit over the years, but still have moments where I just naturally feel like retreating more.
It’s not like they would speak out anyways.
I don’t know. I’m an introvert and I have friends.
*shrug*
I think so. You just can’t get ahead in jobs and such while being introverted.
No, it’s conscious.
Do you see any introverts being positively portrayed in society? In the media? No, they are portrayed as troubled and dangerous.
Yes.
My best friend is very introverted, and he’s always been treated as a failure to be extroverted.
I think it is conscious.
So says I, the introvert.
But that’s only factored in if we truley (truely?) discriminate against them in society.
unconsciously yes. i was an introvert as a child, life has taught me to be more outgoing, but i struggle with severe add and sometimes just wish everyone would go away. our culture doesn’t really leave us room to deal with that.
yay for introverts! i think what’s interesting about blogging is that many introverts come off as extroverts… like me!
I would say no – at least not intentionally.
Both consciously and unconsciously. Extroverts gain more attention; introverts fade into the background. But I think extroverts are discriminated against as well. I’m an introvert, and I find some extroverts to be really irritating and tiresome.
well we conciously prefer extroverts, and this benefits me, however our qualities would mean nothing without introverts.
Being an introvert myself (in real life, anyway), yes.
I don’t. I mean, I am sort of introverted.
yes i think so.
ummm, duh…………….
I’m introverted. I can’t tell you many how times I have been told “You’re too quiet” or “You’re too shy” or “You need to talk more”. Really? According to whose standard? Extroverts don’t understand how devastatingly hard it can be for introverts to strike up a conversation. Or how a social mistake can keep us up at night, thinking of how we could have done that better or what we could have said. For me, I struggle a lot because my husband is extremely extroverted, he can talk with anybody about anything, and I …well, I can’t. So I get left out of a lot of conversations. People look at him in the eye, they talk to him for 20 minutes and never say a word to me…and then at the end they shake my hand and say “Nice to meet you”, and that’s it. I’m forgettable, he’s not. And that can be really hard. Even on Xanga he has like a million subscribers that he doesn’t even know. As for me..well, not so much.
So to answer your question in a word…yes.
No. If descrimination means prefering one over another then no. Roughly half the population would tend toward introversion. Who says introverts aren’t ok with being in the background. There are jobs that fit introverts and jobs that fit extroverts. The reality is that there are fewer people who will take risks and, therefore, reap fewer rewards. Nonetheless, I think extroverts get more because they ask for more. It’s just the way it is. Ever been in a bar and watched people meet one another… extroverts strike out constantly but sometimes they succeed because they swing the bat, as it were. Pretty cliche’ huh? True, nonetheless.
yes, because people who are socially inclined are more likely to succeed… so they say. = who knows. i’m both.
people in general prefer extroverts.
ps: the word discrimination doesn’t apply in every context.
well its not really discriminating, its just that extroverts are usually more preferred than introverts, although some extreme extroverts are annoying because they have no idea what they are talking about or they just talk on and on. A happy medium is good in this case.
“Discrimination” is perhaps an exaggeration. It’s more a cultural bias thing… we value things associated with extraverted behavior. If you go to China or the Scandinavian countries, you’d find the opposite. As an introvert, I don’t feel discriminated against, even though I sometimes feel like I have fewer choices.
being extroverted is definitely more acceptable in this society.
Yes they do. Most are made to feel like they are unintelligent when they’re just not loud and obnoxious.
yeah. just yeah. i am convinced that being introverted makes me inferior.
I’m loud and rude, I love offending quiet people. and making them riled up.
I like shy people.
I agree with the natural selection answer.
yes. I experience it all the time.
GREAT question and yes, i think society does discriminates against introverts.
I’m going to agree with the people that said it’s conscious discrimination. There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert, but in my experience it’s sure viewed that way.
Oh yes definitely.
110% YES.
My sister is an extrovert and I am an introvert. I have had horrible comments made to me such as, “Your sister is the fun one” and “Oh, I didn’t know *insert our mom’s name* had another daughter!” Everyone expects me to be like her, but I have a ton of awesome qualities to offer that they don’t take the time to know. I should say it is their loss, but it hurts. I’m slow to get to know, but once you do people love me. I always remember someone saying, “Gee, I wish I had gotten to know you sooner…you are a really neat person!” Yeah. I hear that a lot.
Sometimes i feelt at way
I claim to be an Introverted-Extrovert
like I am introverted but with my close friends I can be extroverted…
does that makes sense?? lol
daniel (doubledb)
feel that*** sorry
I wouldn’t say it’s outright discrimination, but as an introvert, I have noticed that this particular society tends to push people to have extroverted traits. Being really outgoing and charismatic seem to be preferred traits. The funny thing is, many people don’t realize right away that I’m an introvert because I’m not shy and I actually can talk to people quite easily. But I require way more alone time than most people realize.
Definitely. But sometimes introverts use it as an excuse, too.
I think that companies and people in general look for people who will go out and make lots of friends and connections, maybe the reason that introverts are discriminated against is that all the people who are in descision making places got there by acting extroverted?
Which sucks, im way introverted.
Yeah.
Well, the definition of an introvert kind of precludes their isolation…
how about a big, resounding YES.
you definitely notice it when you’re applying for jobs- sometimes they give you a personality test, and heaven forbid you admit that interacting with people all the time makes you tired or that your favorite activity does not involve being at the center of a gigantic throbbing mob, because they’ll assume you hate people and will do nothing but glare at their customers all day
extroverted students get more individual attention from teachers- if introverts don’t go out of their way to comment all the time and pull off crazy stunts in front of the class, they are more or less ignored
because they don’t tend to advertise their achievements as much, they are often passed up for promotions
some of it may just be unconscious discrimination, but i think that they could definitely do something about this in the job application process rather than tossing your application in the trash the moment they find out you’re an INFP
oneangelwaiting explained it really well…
I think no matter where a person goes in this world, the squeaky wheel tends to get the oil first. It is sad but true.
yes. my feedback question would be, in psychology and psychiatry, is an introvert more likely to be diagnosed with a mental disorder than an extrovert? and if so, is psychology or psychiatry really as bias-free and accurate in diagnoses as we believe it is, and can all diagnoses be trusted?
yes, i definately think so
Introverts are NOT necessarily shy, lonely, afraid, or incapable of friendship or relationships!
I see lots of discrimination for them in these answers. I’m a true blooded, self proclaimed introvert. I have GREAT friends (if only very few) an amazing boyfriend (who I’ve been with for years) and I get along with every single person I meet.But I don’t go out. My cellphone doesn’t ring. I’m never in the center of attention. I LOVE it like that.And any other true introvert will admit they like it like that. We don’t care to be constantly surrounded with BUZZ from other people. Media sells to extroverts because extroverts draw their energy from social situations.Introverts draw their energy and creativity from within.We’d be short lots of great book classics, movies, actors and music if not for some of the greatest people in the world, who were all introverts. Think J.D.Salinger, Kurt Kobain, Johnny Depp, Sean Penn, etc.
Yes
omg yes!
people are discriminated against for being introverted- and they are often subject to ridicule for their supposed “backwardness”
It’s very conscious. I’m a very shy and quiet person and I’m regularly excluded. Everyone thinks that the person who is shy and quiet is the person who doesn’t want to be included. But, in fact, it’s what we probably want the most. And, I also think the qualities of being extroverted are glorified in our culture. In other cultures, the qualities of introverts are glorified.
And, I COMPLETELY agree with emmerskue.
I’m an introvert, and I actually haven’t noticed much discrimination. Maybe it’s because I’m still only in high school, but it seems like most introverts I know get along just as well as the extroverts do. Certainly the society encourages charisma and strong social skills, but I have seen respect for introverts as well, typically more for their achievements than anything else.
In my case, I’m introverted, but I’m still willing to talk to people and have extroverted experiences occasionally. (Although I’ll worry for a while if I think I said something stupid or wrong and then realize that they probably don’t care.) I just can’t do that too frequently or I’ll start to feel overwhelmed. Around people I know reasonably well, I’ll talk, definitely, though I hardly ever dominate a conversation. I never really use the telephone; when I’m at home, then I’m at home and that’s that. I don’t usually feel the need to talk to anyone once I’m by myself. With my best friend…I’m not sure. Sometimes I can’t tell whether she’s introverted or extroverted, but I got sort of mildly irritated when she started visiting my house every day for a few weeks during the summer. I don’t mind her, most of the time, but the constant visitation sort of bothered me.
Yes.
Most people prefer extroverts unconsciously, but since I myself am more of anintrovert than an extrovert, I don’t really care if I’m “preferred” by society or not.
There are different levels of both introvert and extrovert. I can hold my own in a public meeting, but my preference is to be one on one, or with just my family around me. It might leave me out of many things, but most of the time I really don’t care. Other times, I would like to have the ability to just go in and not have people bother me. On the outside that is sometimes how it seems, but on the inside I am screaming to get out of there! The next time you are at a party, or a meeting, or some large gathering, I would suggest looking around and figuring out who is who. Go to five people you think are introverts and see if in 5 minutes of conversation you can find at least three things that match in your world. It could be movies, hobbies, places you’ve lived, it doesn’t matter – getting to know the person is the goal, not to use them as a stepping stool to climb your way to the top.
I think that many extroverted people don’t understand introverted people. They don’t understand that they are shy, and tend to label them as “anit-social”.
Wow, good comments on the first page, I’m impressed. I agree that society prefers extroverts because we learn how to script our interactions with them. No one wants to take the time and energy to get to know introverts anymore. And now that most people are afraid of terrorist attack, they’re even more wary of those who don’t socialize as easily.
Like I said, good comments on the first page, except for the one where they brought up Social Darwinism, which isn’t a valid argument and hasn’t been for quite some time. And also, it’s invalid to use “survival of the fittest.” Makes me cringe hearing it, because it is circular logic (you’re fit because you survive, but survival is dependent on one’s level of fitness) and professionals do not use it anymore.
YES.
Definitely! It was very noticeable when I first came to Canada as a kid, and when I first joined the workforce. I agree that extroverts tend to succeed easier.
We do, along with the poor, the not great-looking, those who don’t have superior communicative skills, et al….
Pinkcandles is very cute!
f course we do. who demands and commands your attention? The extroverts