November 19, 2007
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Wedding Dress
I know of a woman who was engaged to be married. She had her wedding dress picked out. The engagement was called off. Now she is engaged to be married again. She is going to wear the same wedding dress that she had picked out for the other wedding.
Do you think it is appropriate to wear the wedding dress you had picked out for a wedding with someone else?
Comments (136)
Why not?
Sure – why not? It isn’t like she wore it to a prior wedding.
Sure, why not….. especially since the other wedding never took place. It would be kind of weird to wear it if it had though.
Of course. if thats the dream dress, why not.
Its absolutely fine. She didn’t wear it before, ever. It is about the BRIDE, not the wedding. LOL
Yes.
Because the wedding dress is the wedding dress the woman hopes to be married in—if she chose the wedding dress in part because of the guy–becuase it reminded her of the guy, then she should choose a different dress which reminds her of the new guy–but so long as the girl continues to be the main one in charge of the wedding and the guy seems to have little say except for the honeymoon, I think she has every right to choose the same dress.
Sure. What’s the difference between that and buying a used wedding dress?
Sure if she never wore it before…however,if this wedding gets called off then maybe she should get another wedding dress
ABsolutely. It’s not like it was used. Besides, she bought the dress as her dream dress. It matters not who the groom is.
My feeling is no. Something analogous would be a guy recycling wedding rings.
I do not think it matters really.
yes. you don’t pick out the wedding dress because of the person you marry. you pick out the one you like. she’d still probably pick the same style.
i wouldn’t mind, if i was the groom (as long as the dress didn’t look awful). the resale value of wedding dresses is pretty low…
I suppose it is fine. It not like it was the ring or something like that.
Nah, I know girls who pick our their wedding dress before they ever even have a serious boyfriend. Actually, I thought just about everyone did that, as a girl thing. I was scared they were going to take my card when they discovered I hadn’t really ever even thought about it.
But, short version, nah.
A dress is for you, it’s something that takes you FOREVER to pick out and purchase. It’s not like recycling rings because the dress is specifically for you, not for someone else, and it’s not something that’s supposed to match with the groom’s stuff (like a ring.)
Nah as in not innappropriate, not nah as in not appropriate. Yeesh, I should read more carefully.
Why not? It beats going out and buying another dress.
It’s a dress. Wear it if you still love it!
It would be foolish for her not to use it!
I did. I was engaged, picked out my dress – I LOVE MY DRESS – and I called off the wedding.
Met my husband, wore my dress.. It was a dress for ME, not that wedding. ME ME ME!
i think its perfectly fine! the wedding dress is supposed to be something that you think looks good on you and fits your personality. sure, it sounds just a little different and odd, but honestly if you really really like it then why not you know
That’s where I think you’re wrong, dan. Virginity is never over based on how you approach it, but I think there’s more power in intending something than just accepting it forever without ever thinking about it.
^That was an RYC, fyi.
Unlike a ring, you only wear it once.
Ryc: Ah. ha. Good to know.
You purchase the dress to make you look glamourous–it doesnt have anything to do with the groom.
I don’t see how it would be INappropriate. It’s just a dress. The wedding and its accoutrements are just for show; in the end, the only thing that’s going to matter is that the two people have a good marriage.
Why not?
Oh, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t make much sense to spend like a ton of money on a wedding dress you never wore, and then buy another one.
I’m with commenter #1. Why not?
Maybe she shouldn’t tell the groom!
I don’t see an issue with it. As others have said, it’s not like she picked out her dress for the groom!
Sure.
The wedding dress is supposed to be picked out because it’s what the bride likes- they don’t go looking for a wedding dress saying “Does this look fitting for my husband-to-be?”.
Why not? Just coz the guy ended up being stupid shouldn’t cancel out the dream dress!
I wonder what the engagement turnaround time is for this chick.
Well, I sure hope that the dress isn’t the biggest factor in this wedding, or there are bigger problems to worry about.
Get a refund.
hmm… I guess so… unless she is like my ousns former wife who tried on a gown and then anotherr and said… oh I’ll get that one NEXT TIME>>>
WHAT… I told him… he just wouldn’t listen…
Hope your having a great day mister.
Of course it’s okay. The dress is something the bride buys for herself.
Wether a ring or a dress it strikes me odd that the groom would care. Objecting to trivial details is far more often a girl thing than a guy thing. Good example of this is my Sis-in-law was determined that no one bring a cellphone into the chapel durring the wedding. Brother was like: “If they don’t ring what’s the difference?”
I would want a new one. Guess I am a superstitious fool~
For me- It would depend-I might want some thing different Totally Different, or I might just like the one I had already picked.
It would depend on how I felt about the dress, and what it represented.
Yes. It is fine.
Sure.
Depends. Did she choose it in the first place because her first fiance loves square necklines? Does it hold special memories related to her first fiance?
If not, then I don’t see the problem.
I think it’s okay, but I probably wouldn’t do it- it would remind me of the previous wedding that wasn’t.
My sister has borrowed my veil for a couple of her weddings. It never mattered to the groom. Most brides just want to look their best and nothing else matters.
yes…perfectly appropriate.
Its totally up to the person…but I got my wedding dress (a $1000 dress) for $100 because of someone changing her mind. Worked for me.
yes, theres awful karma in doing that.
NO! You really shouldn’t wear the same dress. No matter what it is going to end up being odd.
When girls pick out a wedding dress, they are looking for something that they like and that looks good on them. Grooms traditionally don’t see the wedding dress until the big day. Unless that dress makes her reminisce about her ex-fiance, there’s nothing wrong with wearing it. I have a friend who picked out her wedding dress before she was even engaged. Plus, some girls like to look through wedding magazines and pick out wedding dresses they like way before they are even dating. The dress is all about the bride, not so much the groom.
I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.
I like to be practical. If I still liked the dress, I would still wear it.
What I can’t understand is that if white means purity and most women have decided that virginity is not needed before marriage why still cling to the “tradition” of a white dress? Is it just because it is a tradition or do they seek to still have that “purity.” I’m just curious.
yes. The wedding dress pertains to her style and her dream, not her man. Plus, she didn’t wear it in another wedding and she didn’t have drunken sex in it hopefully, so its all good.
well in a Perfect world….you have tons of money and just go get another dress. In the real world….people have bills/expenses. It was prob motivated by money or she may have really loved the dress.
Does anyone remember that guy on E-bay who had 15 mins of fame by selling ex-wife’s dress that he actually modeled? That was funny, however if he had remarried and used his ex-wifes’ wedding dress…that would have been inappropriate! lol
I heard they sell cheap wedding dresses in Mexico because they take them off people who were buried in them or maybe they are just old dresses that people had when they died and didn’t pass on. I don’t remember. It is probably just a folk tale.
“dream dress” That’s the key. I have my dress long past picked out and I’m not even engaged!! I am a girl. I have a princess fairy tale wedding in my head… I am wearing that dress no matter what… the guy doesn’t even have to show up! That’s the dream dress!!
Im around the same age as your son…I look younger than I am, I think, but I’m pretty young.
I dont think wedding dresses matter so much.
I dont see why not…its not like the dress is a symbol of their love…now using the same rings…big no no!
Psh, I’m not spending more money on a another dress when I have a perfectly good, UNUSED one sitting around.
Well now when you say picked out do you mean actually bought? If she bought it yea it’s ok to wear, but if she just fell in love with it and said I want to wear this dress to marry so and so, maybe she should look around again when she marrys her current so and so.
Yes
It’s fine, I think.
But two engagements? How much time has it been since the first one?Hope she doesn’t feel rushed to wear that dress!
see at my wedding we won’t have to wory about this. I want a betazed wedding
Its just a dress.
Sure, why not. It’d be a waste of money to buy a new one.
betazed wedding? hehe
yea save money!
If you date a girl and find a wedding dress already in her closet……that’s creepy. Thats like the movie misery creepy!!!!!!
That’s like deliverance creepy.
yeah, it’s YOUR dress, it’s not like he gave you the dress (in lieu of an engagement ring/wedding band)
Why yes. I think it’s ok to be married something other than a wedding dress too!
definitely! the dress was for her anyway. besides, with the stress involved in picking out the right one and getting it fitted, it’s a smart move.
Yes and no. If she bought the dress just because she loved the dress and is one of those girls who starts planning her wedding when she’s 5, it’s okay.
If she bought the dress with him in mind and the dress has some sort of sentimental value for her, then no.
It’s like buying anything with a significant other, there’s always the chance it won’t work out and you will have something to either keep or trash. Using it with another significant other is risky.
Its fine
The dress is not about the guy you are getting married to. It should only matter that it’s the one she wants, after all who said the wedding day was about the groom?!?
Odd, but it depends on the person and situation. If she got the dress because she liked it herself, why not? But, if, say, she only got the dress because the first guy like the design, then that’s kind of messed up.
As they say here in the Dakota’s, “Yah, you betcha.”
Yes, fine by me. Wedding dresses are expensive.
why not? no one saw it, especially not either groom (if she followed the whole not seeing the dress crap). i don’t see why wearing an unworn dress would be a problem.
why not. i’d do it.
I think it would be ok to wear it. Why not?
no, she should buy a new dress.
I say burn the dress and get married in blue jeans!!
Yes. I think its wasteful to buy a dress and never wear it. But then again, I am not at all superstitious. I sold my old wedding ring on craigslist to a very nice girl, used the diamonds in jewelry I wear all the time, and my best friend is getting married in my old wedding dress.
I guess it depends on where she lives. In California, it would violate section 282.5 of the penal code, which is a misdemeanor. It’s likely, however, that if she were convicted, the fine would probably be less than the cost of a new dress. Is she marrying an attorney?
Also, Lalizka, lots of people get engaged more than once.Off the top of my head I can think of 9 people that I know who have had an engagement that didn’t end in marriage.
That’s the smart thing to do. I think wedding dresses are a huge waste of money.
Ryc: Ha. Thanks a lot.
i wouldnt, but to each their own
I personally would never do it. But thats just me…
Yes, it is appropriate to wear the wedding dress chosen for the wedding that never happened. The dress is chosen for the bride, not the groom. Now, if the dress had already been worn, that would be odd.
yes, it’s just a dress, who cares
If it doesn’t matter to her, I don’t see why it should matter to anyone else
It is very good sense to use the dress. The mistake was buying it in the first place when apparently the relationship was not that great to begin with.
Although I appreciate lolalelu’s comment!
If the person I was going to marry DID have a problem with wearing a dress she had picked out to marry someone else….I’d rethink marrying her
If she’s that picky about a dress SHE picked out….DON’T EVEN want to see whats in store for the future being married to her 
Ya know!!!!
That was her dream dress…why not? Just because the guy turned out to not be the right one doesn’t mean the dress wasn’t perfect.
Sure!
I don’t give a damn
I will wear it again. What, wedding dresses are cheap? PAH!
i wouldn’t wear it. to me, the dress is a symbol of that relationship-gone-bad . i guess i’m too supersticious.
to each their own.
she loves the dress and never got to wear it – go for it.
technically she hasnt worn it yet and if she wants to then yeah i mean y spend all that money and now wear the damn thing??
mmmmm, that’s iffy
i’d feel weird if that dress was meant to be shared with someone else
Yeah. It’s not a castoff of another person and it’s only worn once.
I think it sounds like bad luck. That’s lazy, and tacky, I’m sure she could have just picked a different dress. Like, how long was there in between? Unless she’s engaged to the same guy again, then why not.
If she wants to….she didn’t wear it yet. Maybe it’s her dream dress. It was the wrong guy, not the wrong dress.
wear it, save money
As long as she didn’t already get married in it.
yes as long as the other guy wasn’t the one that picked it out. It was your choice and most girls don’t have the man help them pick a dress. Everyone I know just takes a trip with their girlfriends to find a dress.
yes, it’s cheaper!
> Yes, because this is ‘her’ special dream day, something many plan for from, what, High School? Matters not whom she may wed, as this is supposed to be the first time anyone has seen it, supposedly, except maybe the seamstress and bridesmaids…. Think it also depends on the woman, too! ….’n they are all wonderfully different!!
Peace
Don’t think that is a big issue.
Been there done that. Yes, it’s fine.
YES
If I still loved it, I would wear it!
Yep. They cost too much to begin with. Besides, who would know unless she told everyone?
i love katie!
I wouldnt… I loved my dress, but I guess that I must be overly-sentimental… I picked the dress for that day, and that wedding to that man…
That’s exactly what I did!!
…now I think the dress is cursed….
Yea. why not.
No. She picked out that dress for marrying her ex-fiance. It’d be wierd to then use it to marry another guy. Maybe my answer to this is colored since I saw the ring post first. I understand that for a woman she wants to get to wear her pretty dress. But I would just be wierded out by this, honestly.
Yes, it’s fine. In fact, I lived this very same situation; and it didn’t bother my husband one bit. I chose the dress for myself and how it fit me, not for my husband or anyone else.
I rarely if ever think it’s appropriate for me to wear a dress in the first place.
Totally fine, besides do you know how much a wedding dress can cost? What’s the point in wasting the money on a second one?
Heck yeah..it’s about what you want anyway..and dresses aren’t cheap!!
If she never wore the wedding dress, its fine to wear it. If the dress was worn and she got a divorce and she was getting married again, then, she should buy a new dress.
a wedding dress is about her not him. Its the one dress that makes you feel most beautiful and brde-like. You are sure that this is the only dress for you.
I think its fine so long as she never married in it before.
Sure. Why not? It’s not like she wore it before.
If the other person doesn’t care cause god wedding dresses are expencive
Why not? Especially when people know that it’s not cheap. Depends on the budget, though
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