November 20, 2007
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Smacking Your Children
When I tagged everyone the other day, I was surprised how many people didn’t know how to use the tag feature. So I will explain. First you hit “New Weblog Entry” just like when you are about to update.
Then after you write your post, you look below the weblog box and see the section marked “User Tags.” You hit the link next to “User Tags” marked “Add.” At that point, a box jumps up. The box will list everyone on your “Friend List.” You then check everyone you want to tag. After you get done checking everyone, you hit “Add User Tags.” It will add your friends to the post. Then just submit your post.
An email will go out to your friend plus your tag will show up in their subscription box as “Tags.” The idea is to tag people when you have posted a post of interest to them. People also tag their friends when they have mentioned them in a post. You can also tag your friends when you have posted a photo of them. You can tag people from the photoblog if you want.
Make sure you don’t break the number one rule of the tag. The number one rule is to avoid tagging your friends with every post just to get them to stop by. It will annoy everyone and cause people to drop you as a friend.
Here we go:
A Swedish court ruled that parents are allowed to smack their children “as long at they do not hit them too hard.” Here is the link: Link
If you go to the link, you will see that the father spanked the child on the bottom and the mother was accused of smacking her on the head.
I heard one time that you should only smack a child on the bottom.
Do you think that the butt is the only appropriate place to smack a child?
Comments (176)
upside the head is a great place to smack ‘em.
haha it depends… are your parents asian?
^ ha ha ha!
or italian. we got slapped upside the head.
Thank you for explaining about tagging
A gentle tap on the hand works well.
I didn’t get a tag from you…
I would find that really annoying on a constant basis…
You know… I think that smacking becomes completly unnessesarry at some point… usually when the understanding clicks… there are things that hurt worse then a smack on the butt… like no telivision, no friends over… etc…
Not saying I’m opposed to it, or its wrong, to each his own… but my older two… it just isn’t necessary anymore.
oooh!!
Thanks for letting me know how to use this
yes. if at all.
ok stop tagging already!
The first rule of tagging is we don’t talk about tagging.
The face is fine to smack. At least if you’re an abusive peice of shit parent that is. Oh, man, anyone that tries to reason humilating their child by leaving a bruise/mark on their face needs some serious help.
No. Head will also do fine
.
That’s a tough one. I honestly try to avoid smacking my children at all cost, although I do admit to it years ago. Children learn by example, and you’re teaching them to use violence to punnish and get their way. I don’t see a lot of good in it psychologically. And there are more effective ways to discipline a child. You just have to be creative. My mom used to make me copy pages out of the dictionary as punnishment. I hated it, but my vocabulary and penmanship are what they are because of it. Far more effective than a spanking. Plus my kids all seem to be ADD like myself, so making them sit still and do nothing for 20 minutes is worse than torture.
Is there a “tag all” option, or did you spend half an hour tagging all ten thousand friends?
Thanks for the info on the tag feature. Cool.
Always smack your kid upside the head when they do something stupid. It’s the quickest way to knock some sense into them.
when I first saw that you had tagged again, my thought was “I wonder if the post is about annoying people with tags?”
If you keep tagging everyone on your list, I’m gonna smack YOU on the butt or head. Quit it please.
That said, I’m only for smacking lightly on the butt, enough for them to be startled. I’m just not in favor of smacking for every little thing. It’s not effective if it’s done all the time.
I’ve been slapped… LoL.
I would say for the most part, the bottom is the most appropriate place as there is a lot of fat there and it is unlikely you would hurt the child. I was spanked as a kid when I was younger before my parents were able to truly reason with me or ground me from television and friends over and such. I thought it was effective and they never even left a bruise.
The only time I can ever remember being hit anywhere else was in 8th grade. I was being a bratty little teenage girl (they know everything right?). During dinner, I think I asked if I could do something that was a little far reaching, my dad said no and gave a logical explanation. I looked at him and said, “this is fucking bullshit!” The next thing I knew I got a quick and relatively hard smack to the back of my head. I was so shocked that I didn’t know what to say. Then my dad said sternly, “you will never speak to me or your mother again like that and you will certainly not use those words at the dinner table.”
I never did.
I’m undecided on the issue…
If they’re young, like two or three then maybe a small smack on the hand… but other than that… upside the head?!?! No… I think the bottom should be the only place. I mean, it’s softer… it doesn’t hurt as much as the head… besides with little children their head is extra sensitive… head smacking could be extremely dangerous.
Nothing against physical punishment… but the head?
†Cryssie♥Leah™
When we were kids, we had a wooden paddle with a little painting of a boy and girl bending over a barrel. Beside it was this inscription: “Never hit a child in the hands or face; nature has provided a better place.”
A little demented, that.
Bottom is safer.
Thanks for the info on tagging!!
I thought their hand when the lil one goes for the outlet covers, or the lamp plug.
The bottom when they try to run into the street.
But Never to hard, only like a tap with a displeased look on your face so that they get the point.
I slapped my little boy once and it broke both our hearts. So…um…no, don’t smack a child in the face.
no
I never was smacked as a kid, and I most likely will not use this form of punishment on my kids, however, I don’t see anything wrong with it through a certain age (12ish). After that, physical pain becomes less important than possessions
Smacking on the hand is OK too when they’re little.
Sometimes the hand may be appropriate. There may be other times where other spots are appropriate.
The head/face is more fragile. I’m not a doctor or anything but with a kid that’s still growing up I’d worry about an accident smacking anywhere near the face – broken nose, damaged eyes, brain damage…though I’m guessing you’d really have to smack one to lay anything like that down.
-David
I do smack my kids on other areas that are not just the butt.. On the arm or on the hand. Especially when you don’t want them to touch something to break or get hurt by electric or heat. There is certain age for that.
Btw, thanks for explaining tag. My friend was telling me about it last nite.. I almost got it, but not complete understand it.
God put that much padding on the backside for a reason.
Just the bottom. Dont slap them anywhere else.
About the tagging…it is old news.
Smacking your kid is never ok. That said, I’m unsure about making it illegal because even though I firmly believe you should not smack/spank/whoop/whatever your child, there have been times in frustration that I have smacked my oldest on the arm or leg. Not proud, but it’s the truth. I hate to have her taken away because of that. It seems there would have to be more to the story to have a child taken away then a moment. And it’s the same sort of smack you might give a friend for being annoying.
And, I do not smack on the butt. Looking back into history you find that spanking on the butt has serious ties to sexual activity and fetishes. So, if I “need” to, it will be leg or arm…even then I shudder at my actions.
I think the butt is the most appropriate if one is going to smack one’s child, but not the only option, as long as the smack isn’t too hard.
BTW, get that annoying video out of there! That is more annoying than people tagging me.
Lol! Did you know there are lots of nerves around the butt? So, I don’t think it’s a good place to smack since it would hurt a lot. And about the head…Another vital part of the body and could bring danger if being smacked too hard. So, I guess no smacking for me:p
“Children learn by example,
and you’re teaching them to use violence to punnish and get their way….And there are more
effective ways to discipline a child. You just have to be creative. My
mom used to make me copy pages out of the dictionary as punnishment. I
hated it, but my vocabulary and penmanship are what they are because of
it. Far more effective than a spanking.”
Do you make other people copy pages out of the dictionary when you get angry at them?
I’m all for creative punishment (if it’s appropriate) and don’t think spanking is the only way to discipline or is always the most prudent. However, I think saying it teaches them to be violent is a cop out. If a parent just lashes out in anger and beats a kid, that’s a problem and does convey a false idea of how to handle one’s anger. However, if a parent is self-controlled in carrying out a punishment, I don’t think that same concept is conveyed. It’s the difference between an angry mob lynching someone and a court of law executing someone (like how I picked an example everyone can appreciate?). The challenging part to parents it that, by the way they act, they can act as either one of those parties.
Thanks for the info on tagging.
I spank mine on the bottom. Although a slap in the face definitely gets your attention. That would only happen in a rare occasion if I was so shocked by what someone said or did and didn’t think before I acted.
Yes, it definitely is. Physical abuse is only a last resort, though. I was spanked a few times during my childhood and it hasn’t negatively affected my emotions. Still, “spank first and ask questions later” isn’t a very good philosophy. Then again, the quickest way to anger a parent is to tell them how to raise their kids.
This just occurred to me, though: Maybe the best thing to do, if you absolutely have to use force, is keep the kid from moving? Maybe even grip an arm tightly. That’s a universal “cut it out” gesture.
“So, I don’t think it’s a good place to smack since it would hurt a lot.”
Part of the idea behind spanking is that it hurts. And part of the greatness of the butt (among its many other wonders) is that it can get a point across without causing deeper problems. I’m not giving a green light to parents to mommuck a kid up. It doesn’t take a lot of force to get someone’s attention.
I remember my brother and myself trying not to laugh when my mother whooped us though. Though she had good intentions, she didn’t really get the point across. A spanking that doesn’t hurt is liking someone not allowing me to watch Lifetime or Oxygen or HGTV.
like*
For real, last comment. I think spanking can usually be avoided and is most suited for younger children who are being openly defiant (e.g., being told to do something reasonable by the parent and yelling back, “NO!” or whatever).
I know this sounds very strange, but I hesitate strongly to lay a hand on my children. The only thing that is accomplished by using physical force constantly with children is a sense of fear. I know this from personal experience. There are so many other ways to discipline children that do not involve hitting. That is of course my own personal opinion.
I was spanked as a toddler it did me no harm and I am very well behaved. However sometimes a child could use a smack against the head, older children not younger children.
Can I slap you upside the head for the tags?
Just kidding, the butt is an appropriate place. In fact, I think that’s the only place a child should be disciplined. Appling the rod of discipline to the seat of knowledge is a good way to garner wisdom in a child. And seat = butt, so there ya go.
mmm, yes, because saying that anything else is ok would give parents that have no self control a ‘green light.’ I’ve seen too many cases in which the parents went too far, so I’d rather air on the side of caution. To be honest, though I don’t look down on “spankers,” I think that proper and appropriate discipline doesn’t have to include physical force.
Smacking on the butt…aka spanking…or slapping the hands. Those are what were used on me, and they worked great!!! “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” They need spanking.
beat em like they owe you money.
I don’t smack my kids…or anybody elses, hehe.
Well, they are 19 and 23 years old now, but I never smacked them when they were younger.
Good topic.
And thanks for the tag explanation.
ryc
I am sure I will cry the next time I read the letter, which is the reason I haven’t again. But since it was such a pleasant surprise, and it was written so sweetly and uplifting, I just smiled and soaked it all up.
*hugs*
Yes. Only on the butt!
i usually go for the tush- especially considering it’s nicely padded with a diaper- and i’m a sissy smacker in the first place. also the hand works well when they’re going for something that is dangerous such as outlets or the stovetop- it’s more rather a deterrent than it is a punishment- sometimes that’s all kids will listen to is their own nerve endings being startled- but hey, it keeps her alive and safe so who’s complaining??
Cool Dan, I thought tagged meant that I was tagged to say stuff about myself …you know, that silly stuff …never knew about the tag buddon. Thanks!
Smacking a child anywhere in anger is unappropriate. If a person is going to discipline their child by spanking them then it should be on the bottom. The face, head, arms, legs…. just seems like it would be done in an angry mode and out of control.
No, not the only appropriate place. My mom would also slap our hands if we did something.
But those are about the only places I find appropriate…if you cross the line and hit them in the face..well..I don’t think I’d ever forgive myself, ’cause that seems more like abuse to me.
Understood.
Now, one more tag and you’re out.
=) Haha.
How to spank your naughty kids:
http://www.spare-rods.com/
Thanks for letting everyone know how to tag thats it everyone will be doing it now Hmmm
as for smacking the kids a long time ago I watched a show that said kids need to know thier boundries and the way to do it was to count aloud to 3 and if they had not done as they were told then give them a smack not hard just a smack.
I tried this out with my son he was then about 3 I had to do it once after that by the time I counted to 2 he was doing as he was told ok this don’t work with teenagers but the threat of no comp works well.
my son is now 16 and is a son to be proud of he is friendly outgoing loving he is staying on at school to do his a A levels and then uni he told me today he has been made deputy head boy and also has got himself a parttime job at Mc Donalds.
one proud dad here.
I guess you tagged me cus I got a kid, lol. Butt, thigh, hands…I really dont see the use of smackin a kid in the head. Theres a thin line between discipline and abuse…..the head is on the abuse side of the line. Also the torso/back area. I have a friend who, when she disciplines her son, sometimes hits him on the back. That shit disturbs me and I wish she wouldnt do it. I’ve told her before I thought it was way out of line and that hitting him on his back was wrong. I just dont see the purpose of it.
But a swat to the ass aint never hurt nobody. Thats a discipline move, there.
My kids get smacked in the face hard if they use cuss words or call me any foul names. I won’t tolerate a kid mouthing off to me. I’ve only had to do it a ew times before thy got the hint I won’t take such BS. I’ve also spanked them n the butt whn they were smaller. Now that they are teens it’s more fun figuring out was to make their life a liing hell for the crimes they commit. Muahahahahaha!
Smacking their hands is okay if they grab something or do something else naughty with their hands.
I have spanked my kids on the bottom with no effect. I wouldn’t swat anywhere else. I have pinched my kids under the table when out for dinner with guests when they were being ill-mannered.
Also…..hitting a kid out of anger is wrong. I dont spank because I get angry, I do it as a punishment/discipline technique. People who hit out of anger really need to learn to control their rage better. When you hit because you’re mad, you’re passing that anger on to the child and teaching them that when we get angry its ok to lash out at others. Not cool. And that is PRECISELY why so many people have a problem with the morality of spanking. its because of the people who are doing it the wrong way and doing it the angry way. Step away, take a breath, and come back to it if you must. But you should NOT hit as a gut reaction. Its not fair.
I stilldon’t know why you tagged me.
more or less: yes. larger resivors of fat and larger muscle groups means there being less of a chance for injury. also, they don’t see it coming from behind. adds to the fear and dread. =)
no.
I got hit everywhere as a child. I don’t know if it has taugh me much; i feel i’m still pretty stubborn.
Obedience. Nothing has changed over the course of history. People still whip kid for the sake of exerting stress or they just don’t wanna deal with it.
something like that.
Ok…When it comes to the discipline of a child, up to the age of say 12, spanking the child on the bottom would not only be appropriate, but wise. It allows the child to understand that there are rules, and consequences to not following those rules. It also helps them to comprehend that “bad” behavior is simply not acceptable. As to cuffing them upside the head – I would refrain from doing so with a child under the age of 5, simply to avoid potenial harmful head injury. 6 and up to 12 a tap along side the head will not hurt, but will certainly get their attention. As to other appropriate areas….well, for little ones – age 2 – 4, a slap on the hand along with a sharp “no” sets the standard for what is touchable and what is not. I also think that a tap on the side of the leg with a sharp “no” would also be acceptable; especially if the child likes to “kick.” For biters – well, stopping it the first time, and before it really gets out of hand is usually best; however, I would NOT recommend hitting them across the face – at any time of their lives. My parents remedied this issue with my younger brother simply by biting him back – hard enough to make the point, but not hard enough to leave a mark! It worked, he never bit anyone again.
i really don’t feel like playing tag.
maybe some other time woud be good.
yeah.
upside the heads a good place.
^and this is from a kids point of view
no authority is why kids are like they are today. People I know get away with all kinds of crazy stuff because their parent’s aren’t wiling to step up to the plate
Yeah, but only until they hit 10 or 11. After that, it goes from punishment to just creepy.
Who am I kidding. Don’t fucking hit your kids, mmkay?
I couldnt blame my parents for wanting to smack me
Make an effort not smacking at all.
nope. i have a “no smacking or hitting” policy in my home. and i’m sticking to it. i mean, i’ll scold or yell at my children if i have to, but no disciplinary actions that require hitting is right. it doesn’t solve a thing in my book. it only instills fear and self-loathing.
*laughing* i’m really starting to like these xanga minis. they’re adorably funny!
Obviously I got this tag! My post the other day was not serious ya know. However, I do smack my kids on the bottom when they are bad. As my older ones gained altitude and were looking me in the eye an occasional slap on the face for being disrespectful has been known to happen. They are after all rather ungrateful most of the time! lol
the hand is okay too.
…riiiiiiight….
if they don’t listen, beat them into submission, that’ll work.
Butt and hands.
Bottom or hand but the head can be dangerous. You just never know.
sometimes a lite smack upside the head is approate at other times a smack across the mouth is approate when one does not have Ivory soap close at hand…and now and again a lite smack on the rump, it is well padded there ya know…twice now hu…well I know what the tag feature is for now…thanks…Smile
yes, definitely.
Wow I’m all for punishing your kids when needed but some of the responses are shocking! Smacking your kid in the face or upside the head? That’s smacking out of anger not trying to teach them a lesson. I think the butt is the only safe place, or like someone said if they are real small the hand if they are going near fire or something. And yes, I was smacked when I was a kid, with a belt, or my dad’s hand, mostly on the butt but I did get it upside the head, and in the arm a few times.
i get your point. pleeease stop tagging.
Depends on how old the kid is, you don’t want to smack a 2 year old upside the head. Might break their neck.
I didn’t smack mine, because I was hit, with hands. belts, butt of a knife across the head, stuff thrown at me – just not right to do that to a kid. I don’t condemn someone occasionally giving one “not too hard” smack on the bottom for things like running out in the street, but other than that, I think it has no place for children.
Kathi
I guess each child is different when it comes to correction. But when I did spank my oldest son, it was on his butt…with a wooden spoon. I know that sounds horrible, but it was never hard.
I always believed a parent should not use their hands. They should fear the object not the parent’s hand. So my son got wise…..he hid all my wooden spoons!!!
Upside the head’s okay too.
Yeah, smacking anywhere else is a little intense.
no more tagging pls.
and, f-ck smacking the kid, what about one of those wooden spatulas. scare them crazy.
happens more often that you think.
but i don’t think i would do that to my kid, i would feel fairly guilty. instead i’d make them kneel in the corner until the incense runs out. the corner that isn’t carpetted.
that=than
We are smackers of th hienie region, but it’s a last resort. We also, put kids in the corner, time-out, we take away privelidges, ground. It just depends on the age, and appropriatness of age to punishment ratio!
Just in case anyone takes me serious, I should say that I was really just joking. I don’t hit my kids at all. I am really lucky that they have a gentle temperment and I don’t have to. I was abused as a child and I would not hurt my kids for any reason.
Thanks for the tag info – not that I’ll ever use it – but still, nice to know.
About hitting – I see nothing wring with it. There is a logical distinction between abuse and parenting. Parents need to have the right to “smack” their children.
Preferably bottom.
Well, at least I now know what it means to be “tagged”.
My mama always said that that is what God gave us behinds for…. not the face.
Spare the rod, spoil the child.
You should be able to hit them anywhere as long as its a light reprimand slap. I think too many people confuse a light slap with straight out beating.
The hands, the chins, the bottom were all places I received as a child. I didn’t think anything was wrong at the time. I deserved it.
My mom used to make me copy pages out of the dictionary as punnishment.
I hated it, but my vocabulary and penmanship are what they are because
of it.
perseyownz
Can’t say the same about your spelling, though. “Punnishment?”
Well, personally, I feel like smacking a child’s hand when they are at the age to be touching things like, oh say an electrical socket – when they are about to hurt themselves – I would say from about 12 months until the child learns what is wrong and what is not, and then spanking (OUT OF LOVE) on the bottom after 15 months (or whenever the child understands “No” and defies what you have asked him or her to do). But there are other options as well, like time out I have found to be super effective for mine (but that isn’t the case for all).
But smacking on the face? I don’t think so. That does something altogether different to a child. That tells a child in effect, “I don’t want you. I hate you.” I mean, honestly. I was smacked in the face once when I was a child, and it was NOT a healthy experience.
no
I wouldn’t smack them in the face, but I don’t see anything wrong with spanking them, or slapping their hands and telling them “no” or something. I’ve been hit pretty much everywhere except my face/head area. Like, I’ve swore in front of my Mom, and she didn’t pop me in the mouth, though she threatened to. I figure as long as you’re not bruising them, it’s alright. Since I remember being hit on the thigh when I tried to move [to avoid getting hit on the bottom] and it would leave a hand print. I was fine within a minute or two though.
Of course with everyone coddling their children, nowadays, everyone makes it seem like looking at them wrong will ruin their life completely.
I spank my children on their hand and on their butts. But never very hard, just a little sting. And I would NEVER hit my child across the face. Ever. Unless they’re teenagers and are lipping off, lol… just kidding.
Off topic:
Hahaha@video ad.
I saw that movie.
I liked it. Dane Cook is amazing.
I wasn’t expecting that much nudity, though. At all. I wasn’t upset about it, though, I was just kind of caught off guard. The funny thing was, when we walked out, we saw this little boy with his Mom walk out, and I swear he looked about 4.
Interesting statistics:
George W bush was never spanked as a child, Bill Clinton however was spanked regularly as a child!
i think i was spanked on the hand as well.
my mother had the awful habit of hitting wherever her hand landed and more often than not, it would end up to be the head. my sister broke her of the habit.
The bottom, only a sting, no mark, no face or head hitting! ever!
Thanks for explaining tagging – I think it’s a great feature if used for particular reasons.
You mean people didn’t know that the feature exists??? *faints*
Anyway, as a child, I was slapped, caned on my legs and hand, and smacked on my hand. But I’m okay, and I don’t hate my parents.
Yes, I agree.
I guess so, because it’s padded down there.
But my mother used to smack me wherever she could get at, it was only the butt if I was turned around like to run away or something.
My parents only smacked me when I was little. and even then, only when it was neccesary.
but I know a few older people who could do with a punch in the gut….
a slap can be appropriate at times too but the butt is safest. especially in public in the us where everyone believes they know what other people are doing and that it concerns them.
The butt is probably the safest place, because of all the natural padding.
I just wouldn’t feel safe whacking a kid in the head (or anywhere else, for that matter), even if it was just a light tap.
ryc: Already did, thanks. Now it’s just a matter of wait and see.
It depends on the severity of the foul deed. Of course, you can smack harder on the butt than you can on the head…
Oh, and I love Jessica Alba and all, but isn’t that video a little rough for some of your younger readers? (Do you have any younger readers?)
I think smacking on the butt is the only appropriate place.
And thanks for teaching us how to use tags. I didn’t even know the feature existed!!
no i think smacking their hand is ok…depends on the reason…at least when they are small…once they get a little older the butt is prolly the best place to conduct such punishment. i am hesitant to say the face or mouth because of how easy it is so easy to bruise the face…
Nope. I had surgery on my hip when I was a kid, so my parents only smacked me on the palm of my hands with a wooden spoon. Stung for a couple minutes, then the pain went away.
I think the head is the only inappropriate place. If you smack a child too hard, you could do brain damage- the skull is still soft in some places.
You should NEVER hit your children hard. Don’t get me wrong, some kids need a good smack, but violence solves nothing, except maybe once or twice. You can’t be a constant spanker, because it loses it’s effect.
My dad use to believe in smacking the face and pulling the hair a bit so the head didn’t move out of his range. I hated him by age 4. Ten years later, I finally fought back. I don’t suggest hitting your kid unless you want to fill them with hate. Some turn against the parent like myself, others just carry it throughout their being and send it to the next generation as well as anyone who doesn’t do what they want. Others still just take it and never become whole, they live in submission even years after and become targets for more violence. If your little one is doing something bad, go ahead and tap them on the butt or the hand, but never make it your main method, and abandon the idea of physical contact as a punishment asap or one day you may find yourself in a room with a kid waiting for you to hit them just one more time to justify ending your life.
- The man who was that kid, but learned to move on.
a lot better than the head!
i just had this discussion tonight with my 13 year old. when she was about a year old or so, when she’d reach for something she wasn’t supposed to touch, i’d smack her hand. her learned behavior? hit! she started hitting everyone. i talked to her doctor and he said not to smack her hand. i stopped and the hitting stopped. he said a smack to the bottom was preferred but to not use my hand because you don’t want your children to fear your hand. i spanked my girls with a belt and felt like shit. i prefer not hitting but hit anywhere but the head.
no not really. It depends. If they have done something bad they need a whipping and idk my mom has smacked me before.
not ANYWHERE, but i hope you know what i mean.
btw..thanks for explaining tagging. didn’t have a clue.
You should be allowed to discipline your kids with ninja weapons.
I get spanked/smacked when i was growing up. I turned out normal… LoL
The bottom, and only the bottom.
Oh man. I thought that just added their name to a link beside the post. I didn’t know I was tagging people. Thanks!!
is tagging the same as smacking?
Thanks for the tag. Im all for spanking the butt and a light smack on the hand when babies get into things and you are trying to teach them not to. Though with my 4 year old, im finding that time outs are way more effective. The spankings have been teaching him anger. I suppose it depends on how your child responds to the spanking. I think that smacking the face or head can be harmful. (though i’ve wanted too many times! LOL)
I was wondering how you did that, thanks for clarifying it!!!!!
The “bottom” is the perfect place, but I don’t think I like the word “smack”. That implies that you are just out there hitting whenever you feel like it. True discipline requires time, patience, understanding, correction, prayer, and training – that is why most people fail miserably at discipline in the true sense of the word.
Butt to get their attention (running in the street, doing something dangerous) Hands when little and touching things they shouldn’t – or dangerous things. Not upside the head or on the face, though – too vulnerable.
I did the dishsoap in the mouth thing for bad language. It works, and usually only takes once.
Now that they are older, it’s more like “no phone, no friends over, no computer, no TV, no car, housework to pay off debt,” that sort of thing, when needed.
I like the idea of copying from a dictionary! I’ll have to try that sometime.
They’re pretty good kids. Not much punishment necessary….usually only natural or logical consequences.
With the tiny amount of parenting expierence behind me (my child is 18 months old) I would suggest only the behind or thigh.
The bottom is for “getting the childs attention”. It works for children that you cannot reason with because they are too young.
Thanks for the info on tagging. Actually, I wouldn’t be annoyed being tagged. It’s a quick way to get to the site and comment.
i’ve always enjoyed getting my bottom reddened. probably not the answer you wanted………………..upside the head when they are 16. !!
Hmmm As a smart mouthed teenager, I think the one light smack across the face took care of everything. The alternative would have been weird.
I get annoyed when people send me a private message to tell me that they’ve updated. I don’t know if that is a tag or not but I consider it spam and remove them from my list. Yes. It is annoying and comes across as desperate.
Thanks for the tag how-to!
I don’t think it’s appropriate to smack a child at all. If it’s gotten that far, then maybe something is wrong in the family unit.
I’m starting to see a pattern where some of the fucking parents are saying it’s ok to smack their kids around…’cause they do it. Then–of course–they justify the action by making their children out to be criminals.
i think the bottom is the only appropriate place. I think it registers with kids that it’s for disciplinary purposes. If you slap a child or smack them on the head, especially if you show anger, then expect calls from school in the future about your child hitting or slapping other classmates when they upset your child. I don’t ever recall an elementary aged child getting upset with a classmate and spanking them, so that’s my logic behind it.
Also, i think you should be aware that you are going to spank the child before you do it so it is for disciplinary purposes and not out of anger. But it should come as a surprise to the child. Once my little one knows the rules and the consequence, i want them to learn to think before they act…seems to be a life skill that’s gotten lost somewhere.
LoL I love the “are your parents asian?” response…. uh… with my asian parents, everything is a go EXCEPT the head.
there are three bumber stickers I want to get for my first car. the 1st is “Earth first we’ll stripmine the other planets later”. the 2nd is “Cat the other white meat” and the 3rd is ” save your wife, beat your children instead”
I have always wondered if anyone but me would see the humor in those.
Well. if parents were angry it doesnt matter to them where they smack their kids!
Spank them on the bottom with a paddle or something other then your hand (Your hands are for holding them, hugging them fixing their “boo boos” or whatever…)
Hmmm…tough question. This really depends on the situation. If they’re sticking out their tongue or using blatent potty mouth, then absolutely a mouth slap is deserved. I guess age plays a factor here as well, since you obviously wouldn’t discipline a toddler this way.
>Thank you for the advise on tagging, Been busy…. A smack, i.e. light blow, as in no or minimal red marks, up side the head is usually a reminder to ‘use your noggin, silly’ on the polite side, across the mouth for ‘ watch the mouth or language’ is o.k., but the majority of the wack should be applied to the bum for the purposes of ‘I’m tired of the repetition….’ after everything else, i.e. time out, stand in the corner, ad infinitum…. For you gentle souls out there, I am not an abuser!! PERIOD!! However, martial punishment is occaisionally required ‘n should be as minimal as allowable given the the thick noggin your trying to get thru to…. And IF you’re really, really trying to TEACH the young’un, please, please waste a ‘little’ more breathe and EXPLAIN or translate or e-mail or text or sign or whatever method you use, to the young’un as to why the behavior is NOT ACCEPTABLE!! Conversation for some of the young’uns works only IF YOU TRY!! And for the thicker heads out there, If you’re gonna lecture the ONE about substance abuse, put down beer or blunt or whatever, FIRST!! Looks better to the ONE…. ;-}
Peace
I don’t think you should ever hit a little kid upside the head. The backside is good if they’re misbehaving, or the hands, but lightly, if they’re reaching for something they shouldn’t. My parents saw no problem when we were older with flicking us upside the head if we mouthed off or did something incredibly rude.
I don’t think hitting your children is appropriate in any circumstances.
You should know that’s a loaded question because of your assumption that any smacking is appropriate at all.
i think that anyone who says they aren’t going to smack their kids should a) have children, and b) try hanging out with a bunch of unspanked 2-3 year olds (and try reasoning with them if thats what they think will work..)… that would cure them of that little assumption that any kind of corporial punishment is bad…
now with some kids, you may not need to use corporial punishment….but i have yet to meet one..and i have been around kids my whole life, thats 23 years of not meeting a single child that didnt need to be spanked or something at least ONCE…
hell when i was a kid i was so sassy, i dang well deserved to be popped on the mouth….and i was! i turned out ok..and i was spanked too, and smacked upside the head when i was especially obnoxious…all of which i have no problem doing to my kids…now i don’t smack my three year old upside the head…but i spank him, and occasionally smack his hands.. and i do pop him on the mouth when he is just screaming and screaming..and it ain’t the crying kind of screaming, its the “lets see how loud i can be before mom does anything” kind of screaming.. but mind you, when he gets older, if he is out of line i will smack him upside the head…there gets to be a point where spanking is sort of silly..
i dont think you should smack a child across the face though, i was only smacked across the face once…i was pissed for two weeks after that…but in retrospect i probably deserved it, i called my mom a bitch….yeah, that was not a smart thing to say in front of my father…and i was about 14, so it wasnt like it was abuse or i didnt understand that he would do something like that…i think if my son ever called me that, i would be HARD pressed not to slap him on his mouth…if my boy was above 12 or so, then he would hopefully know better and a slap on his mouth would be the least of his worries…(i.e. grounding, no tv, no friends, etc…)
Thanks for letting me know how to use the tagging system. Now I can avoid it without temptation! *COUGHS*attention-whores*COUGHS*
As for the spanking, where you can leave a nice welt for them to remember what they did wrong is always just dandy!
In Michigan, you can spank your child, you can’t leave and a mark and it has to be only open handed with no objects being used.
My parents would spank me with belts, wood, etc. I need everyone of those spanks. I deserved them.
SANS child abuse, I don’t think that a swat on the butt or a swat upside the head is wrong.
FYI, it was a piece of wood off a barrell like a paddle, that has slivers. My mom was super tiny, she couldn’t spank for shit so she used that =—Man did I deserve those spanks though.
I also think that the only time to spank a kid is if they are doing something that is pretty outlandish that it is something that needs to be called attention to! LIKE WOW! WHAT JUST HAPPENED MOM? I won’t do that again.
A spank on the butt or light smack on the back of the hand, depending on the offense. Never hard enough to leave a mark. Mostly for little kids who are to young to reason with. Only to prevent harm to themselves or others. Not for use when they are annoying you. Never spank when you’re angry. Use consistently.
Never on the head, it can damage a small growing child if you lack sufficient control at that time. Don’t want to be responsible for later epilepsy, do we?
The bum or the calves are sharply painful for a short sharp lesson but in no way damaging. The pain soon goes and all will be quiet on the Western front, so to speak.
)
no, I don’t think it matters
no smacking…
You know, raising children is a hard job. Even the best parents in the world make mistakes.
What I believe is, when people say they don’t smack children, it means they smack seldom. when people say they smack children, it means they abuse children.
People are not perfect .
Don’t worry! I LIKE you anyway…you can tag away. If it is too much, I just dont respond!
not sure re WHERE. Bottom very good. Don’t like face, head. I think the most important is that IF you want to use that method to “reach” your kid….be very careful, hopefully prayerful. NEVER from your own anger. This may be hard. It is supposed to be. If you REALLY think it still is necessary, make sure the kid understands why they are getting the punishment, that you love them and they will need to really remember this lesson….that though it may hurt for a little while – it will help them to be able to remember, and that although it may hurt for a short time, it will NOT damage them in any way….they will be fine, they will be loved……etc.
hopefully all families establish a “few good rules” as my award winning principal grandmother said. JUST a few. She also said, the trick is you must be smarter than they are. This is also very hard.
hm… to me, it’s the worst thing to hit children… smack bottom or not.
You tagged me
I feel special
*HUGS*
I think when they are young (i.e. in diapers) a smack on the hand is appropriate. Once they have lost all that cushy protection that a diaper offers, then the bum is the place to spank. It’s like God made that part extra soft so it makes sense to me. I got smacked in the face a few times growing up and it just made me mad, and I don’t think it worked in disciplining me.
If you need to resort to physical punishment, the bottom is the only appropriate place to hit a child.
I can say from experience that being smacked in the face is the worst thing you can do to a kid. It’s very degrading.
i was sadly NOT tagged to my knowledge.. such is life.
i do believe in spanking. If she is cursing a light but attention gettin smack on the head wakes her up and shuts her up instantly/ never have i ever left a mark that would be to hard.
On the butt i believe it should sting but not with anything other then your hand. only for extreme situations.
bottom, occassional thump on the head
If it’s even appropriate at all to smack a child, then no. . .I see no reason why butt is the only place you could do so at. . .I mean. . .touching someone’s butt could fall under sexual harrassment. . .I don’t see why smacking someone’s butt is any better less perverted then slapping say, their back.l
And some people older people say adults might have bad backs. . .but most children shouldn’t have to worry about that problem either. . .so as long as you don’t knock them over by slapping their back real hard out of surprise. . .but if that was the concern. . .why most people lean over for a rear end spanking. . .you could do likewise for anything else. . .
I’m swedish and in general I definitely agree with most of the swedish decisions, swedish process, swedish law. Now I’ll check out the article and see what I think. . .
I think there are much better, more effective ways to discipline your children than by hitting them.
But apparently that’s extremely radical thinking.
Thanx for the explanation of the tag feature, because I have been completely clueless on this *thumbs up*
As far as the post, as a mother of two, I have to say that a slap on the mouth (not enough, of course to leave a mark) for fowl language or excessive backtalk. And, for other things that could harm your child or others, a spank on the butt is necessary, I believe. Of course, this is after you have already explained things and the child continues to do the wrong behavior.
Society today is afraid of disciplining in this area, because of the trouble we can get into, but if you look at kids today, they know this and are out of control for the most part. I was spanked, and I am respectful of others and do the right thing, I am thankful for who I am, thanx to my parents.
My dad always always used a belt on my behind and my mom always slapped the palms of my hands. Both ways…really hurt.
But I learned. 
I smack on the hands, arms, and butt.
I was the first born in my family, and consequently the last one to be spanked before it got all “politicall incorrect”. I’m not sure if spanking is a great idea, because it condones violence, but I mean, I never suffered any deep psychological trauma from a smack on the butt.
Though I have heard of some Asian parents of friends of mine who would beat them with sticks and stuff… and I find that really… too far. I would only use a gentle smack as a last option.
My first option being: Never have chidlren. Problem solved.
testing
I don’t really believe in hitting children.
Until they get older
I think the hand is suitible at times. Especially, when they try to cover the but with their hands
Really, when a toddler is reaching for something dangerous, you need to act fast and swat the hand. A swat on the buttocks might not be fast enough.
OK, so I have popped a kid on the back of the head, on the bottom, the hand. Not something I do on a regular basis, but it has happened. I would never ever ever smack or hit my kid in the face though. That is just offensive and abusive and terrible. Never never never.
Just the bottom.
I’m 44. When I was growing up, not only did your parents spank you, but teachers and neighbors did also. My grade school went from yardsticks to rubber paddles to rubber paddles with holes in them to increase the aerodynamics. I grew up just fine.
Dr. Spock and his namby-pamby crap ruined parenting in this country. I say time out the “time-outs” and get back to some old-fashioned discipline. Stop trying to be your kids’ friends and be their PARENTS.
Just in case you’re wondering, I’m not a neocon or a Republican. I am a black, bisexual, liberal Democrat.
The main problem that arises when it comes to physical punishment is that there is no set guideline in which a parent can legally hit their kid to ensure that the intial pain will prevent bad behavior. For instance, it can be argued that hitting a child on the buttocks will hurt, but may not cause lasting physical injury. It can be reasonably argued that hitting a child anywhere else isn’t really effective (I adjust my scope and say that hitting hands can be considered ‘appropriate’.)
The solution is to have a standard of education whereby the parent is able to punish their own child without fear of the law.
’nuff said…
Hi Theo, You want to play tag ,or just be spanked?