November 21, 2007
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Hearing
I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to check out my hearing. I have a hearing test before I meet with the doctor. He is an ear, nose and throat specialists that deals specifically with nerve damage.
I have noticed something since I regained part of my hearing. I have gained confidence. When I initially lost my hearing, I felt like it didn’t really impact me that much. I could do all the things I always did. I just struggled in public places when there was a bunch of noise.
But right when I regained just a small fraction of my hearing, I felt a huge boost of confidence. I automatically went back in the mode of feeling like I could achieve all my dreams in life. It is sort of a subtle thing that happened to me over the last 3 and a half years.
I put a great deal of my biggest dreams aside. It wasn’t automatic but I stopped believing the sky was the limit. I felt like I was a victim to circumstances. I stopped going after my dreams and started to settle in life. But all of a sudden just part of my hearing came back and I started to believe that the impossible in life would happen.
I never pictured myself as a person that would have been discouraged so easily. The thing that bothered me is my attitude had changed toward limited thinking so easily. Then I realized that I started to dream again. What bothers me is that all it took was the loss of hearing in one ear to make me stop believing my dreams were possible.
Comments (64)
I’m glad you are starting to hear again. A lot of little things can take away your hopes and dreams.
Good luck at the doctor tomorrow!
Dan, while I can understand why loosing your hearing would have such a profound affect on your confidence, I am so pleased to read that you are gaining more confidence once again. You are a very articulate individual, and have many good qualities to bring to whatever table you sit at. I think that a lot of loose our confidence over time for one reason or another; weight gain, life circumstances, lack of education, and many others. God Bless you, I will be praying that all goes well with the Doctor.
Here’s hoping all goes well tomorrow at the doctor’s!
Confidence is an interesting thing. Reading about your trial and how it affected your beliefs makes me think about my own. What keeps me from thinking the sky is the limit? What would it take for me to think that way?
MommaontheMountain’s words are true. Even if you were stone deaf, you’d still have a lot to offer!
I’m glad you’re regaining hearing and confidence, and that you’re starting to regain your hopes and dreams. :] Little things matter, of course. Good luck tomorrow.
I pray for good results Dan. Does more confidence = more effing adds?
I hope this post wont be followed up with another “Hopeless” type post. You depress me when you do that.
Good luck at the doctor’s appointment tomorrow.
Life is funny like that. (& I don’t mean literally funny exactly.. but then again I do?)
I’m glad your confidence is back. Knowing that other people are happy makes me happy. [:
I don’t much care for minis but I thought you deserved one.. ’cause you’re very cool. ;P
I hope the doc has good news at your appointment. I guess you never know what small thing can change your attitude toward life. Being a artist, the fact my eyesight isn’t as good as it used to be bothers me…..
Dan, the main man, you show life you will keep dreamin’! No matter what!
It only takes a grain of rice to break the camel’s back. Or… something like that. ; D
I’m interested in hearing what dreams you’re looking into pursuing.
-David
Grats on the improvement. :) We all get down from little things, mostly smaller than your hearing loss. It’s understandable. The good thing is you’re getting your confidence back!
I’m happy for you! I hope all goes well at the doctor tomorow.
None of us are perfect so you shouldn’t feel bad for losing your confidence. That’s in the past. Just be thankful that you have gained your confidence. Some people never gain it back.
Wait a minute, this isn’t a question. This sounds like an actual blog entry!
hmm, it’s odd to think that something physical, but not visibly noticeable, can affect one’s confidence. strange perspective. hope you get good news tomorrow. you’ll have one more thing to be thankful for! also, it’s refreshing every time you post something specifically about yourself. i don’t know why that is.
Dan, I am hoping and praying with you.
Best of luck tomorrow!!
It’s an awful feeling when you lose the ability to dream. I know because it has happened to me and I just recently got the feeling back that it is ok to dream.I don’t even think it is a conscious thing when it happens and I am not even sure that you realize it is happening until after the fact. Anyway, I am glad you are getting it back! Good Luck at the test!
well. you go get ‘em, dan.
I’m glad you are back in your old strength!
you know, I get sad when I hear about stuff like that from people with hearing issues. I am PROFOUNDLY deaf and I have never let it limit me or my dreams- it is OTHER people who TRY to limit me, only to find out that it’ll blow up in their faces!!!! YEAHHH!!!!!
This is so interesting and it gives us all insight in how it affects those who have it. Obviously “all it took” is more than you thought. Thanks for sharing.
all will go well you will see
All I need is a bad cold, and I’m sure that life is not worth living. While you are at the Dr. today, my son-in-law will be at the hospital having an ultrasound to see if he has gallstones. We kind of hope he does, as that can be treated, whereas unknown pain is………a pain. God bless.
Rock on dude, go get ‘em! Could the boost in confidence also come from the popularity of your Xanga site?
This could be a good thing. Now you know how easily you can fall into the wrong sort of thinking, so you can guard against it.
I’m so glad to hear that you have recovered part of your hearing! (and that you have your confidence back)!
Be warned, when they can’t find anything wrong its always blamed on a virus.
If you can put this in the forefront…acceptance is yours and in some cases…thrilling because when God closes one door He opens a more fabulous one…if only we understood this magnanomity. It’s no “easy” accomplishment, but so worth the journey. Be good to yourself…the only thing that has changed Dan, is your attitude.
I’m so happy you gained so much confidence again, along with your hearing. No matter what the doctor says today, now you know you can do whatever you set your mind to….
Hope the visit goes well!
Thank goodness that part of your hearing has come back! How did you happen to lose some in the first place? Confidence is a great thing-glad you’re dreaming your dreams once again!! Manifest them! Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
RYC: Hardy Har dude. You’re not funny! lol.
Good luck at your doctor’s appointment.
I’m sure the appointment will go well !
Wow, I’m not used to posts without questions!
I think your response to the situation just proves you’re human like the rest of us.
Actually, I read that some diseases or conditions that ultimately rob you of your full quality of life have a “depression” like side-effect. When there’s something wrong with us physically, it creats a chemical imbalance we’re not even aware of.
Kind of like having a baby would. Or losing your hearing.
Best of luck to you. My appointment with my specialist is on Monday.
Wow! The “old” Dan was lacking confidence? Look out world!
dude you’re half deaf too?
sweet man
I’m so thankful that I’m giving you the most expensive mini they make. Yeah its kinda hokie, but your totally worth it Dan! I hope all goes well with the Doctor and everything pans out.
((massive hugs)) – Rebekah
Congratulations! Re losing confidence, I think that happens when we lost anything. And if you lost an arm, you would get all kinds of counseling and stuff and it wouldn’t come as a surprise to you that you had lost confidence in your ability to achieve dreams. Losing hearing in one ear is subtle, or more so.
You know? In a way, I don’t think you would have become the presence on Xanga that you are right now if you hadn’t had the issues that you had. So, in a way it’s good, because you have blessed so many lives.
Remember, God has a plan for you, and it’s good. Blessings and Happy Thanksgiving.
Now, there’s something good to be thankful for (although He says we should give thanks in all things-1Thessalonians 5:18)Good luck at your Dr.’s appointment…
Good Luck Dan !
&
Happy ThanksGiving !
I will keep you in my thoughts…Good Luck at the doctor!!!
Congratulations, you’re human.
It’s not unusual that you would lose your confidence as you lost your hearing, because you seem like the kind of person who places high value on being able to perceive the world around you. You probably derive a lot of your perceived self-worth from this ability. When the ability to perceive the world, your hearing, diminishes so does your self perceived ability to reach your dreams and goals. Although, now that you are aware of the problem you can take action to correct it.
Yoou minimize the significance of losing hearing in one ear. I think that is a huge deal! No, it’s not as big as cancer or a termninal illness, but it definitely is delibitating, and teaches you to function less than “normal.” As I have been in a clinical depression over the last 2 months I have realized a lot of my “the sky is the limit!” has been quenched, and I am more hopeless and cynical. I do not want to be like that forever. I hope to get more of my zest, my chase-the-world attitude back.
I say all that to say, different situations give us different perspectives. I am praying that you have your hearing back, and that you will have your old determination and confidence back, too.
And more!
I agree with Completely_Compelled <3.
I am so glad you are hearing better! I know what you mean about confidence. I’ve learned a lot about myself and my own strengths and weaknesses since my hearing keeps bouncing around. Did you take a steroid or something? I took Prednisone and it raised my hearing back to a level that I can hear music again.
Let me know how it goes… =) Happy Thanksgiving dan
2Cor. 12:9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
May the Lord bless you.
Here is hoping that your dreams come true!
Simple words or events can tear us down so easily… the rebuilding is harder to come by.I am glad that you found some of what you lost!
I wish you luck!!
Just keep on believing. and good luck at your appointment!
wow, good post. It is sad how easily we can become discouraged. I am a pessimist myself, so I have to focre myself a lot of times to be excited or optimistic. Instead of expecting the best I find myself constantly expecting the worst.
Daniel (doubledb)
What sort of dreams do you want to pursue? I truly hope and pray that everything went well!
There’s nothing wrong with being discouraged. It happens to everyone, and it’s a very human thing. When Beethoven went deaf, he wrote the 5th Symphony. He was having a terrible time of it, but he wrote the 5th Symphony. Then he wrote all the rest of the music he ever wrote, up to and past the 9th Symphony, which ends with the famous “Ode to Joy.” I think to think that he was grateful for his loss of hearing. He realized that if not for that, he would not have written all the music that he did. He knew it was a worthwhile achievement, even though he never heard any of it. Well, roughly a little over half of it, anyway.
I’m not sure what I’m trying to impress upon you with that story. But know that Beethoven was a human like you and I. He wasn’t Superman. He was a human being. Perhaps this is my message: Whenever you start to think that the sky is the limit, remember the deaf composer who changed music forever.
Or the blind mountain climber.
Or the armless guitarist.
I’m happy you have your hearing back. You should take advantage of it by listening to The Arcade Fire.
Or some Beethoven.
Or Debussy.
Sorry, in my last comment: *Like to think, not Think to think.
It was just a deterrence.
And you know what Dan- you’ve inspired me. Thanks for sharing this with us.
I hope the hearing comes back and the commercials at the top of your xanga go away. I feel used.
Losing hearing is difficult. Losing ANYTHING is always difficult. He can let our loss kill our dreams and snuf out goals and plans for the future; or we can ask God what His purpose was for our loss. We can search for the good and hope for the best.
I know a woman who was a perfectly normal college student…or so we all thought. She woke up one day and couldn’t move her legs. Come to find out, she would never be able to walk again. She doesn’t know why; doctors don’t know why. Ironically, she now teches a college course on human sexuality and talks openly about how that area of her life changed when she became unable to walk.
I hope your hearing returns. Good luck. Happy happy happy Thankgiving!
Aww, Dan…*hug* You’re strong. :
Sometimes you have to lose something in order to appreciate it all the more. I know with your beliefs, Dan, that you know God “works it all out for good”, but it is hard to believe that in the midst of trials. That is why we keep hoping. “Hope is Eternal”. Take care.
I think you put words to something that is happening to me. Last spring I was diagnosed with an eye disorder that causes my eyes to lose their ability to focus on details. It is like macular degeneration, but not the same and not treatable. I realized when I read you post that I have been doing the same thing. I think I will put effort into breaking through that glass ceiling. I am interested in seeing what you will do now if you were able to create this very popular Xanga site with limited ambition!!
My mother has been deaf in one ear for a really long time and just recently got ear surgery to fix it. The doctor told her she was a “perfect candidate” and that after the surgery, her once bad ear will be her better ear. After the surgery, she felt great, and she was so happy all the time. She seemed like a little kid in a candy shop: “Look, Melissa, you’re on my deaf side and I can hear you!” So I know how exciting that can be for someone. I’m glad it worded out for you also! God bless.
It can take any kind of life circumstances to deflate our dreams….sometimes without us even realizing it for awhile. I hope that you got good news from the doctor!
I find this entry inspirational – my barriers are not nearly as big as was your hearing loss but it’s a nice reminder not to lose hope.