December 7, 2007
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Keep Your Man From Straying
I was just reading an article by David Zinczenko with the title “5 Ways to Keep Your Man From Straying.” Here is the link: Link
Do you think it is partially the woman’s responsibility to stop the man from straying?
Comments (74)
Only if it is partially the man’s responsibility to stop the woman from straying.
I don’t like the word straying. It reminds me of cats.
That’s a rather ludicrous idea. Though couples should of course be equally supportive and loving to eachother they should be able to trust that the other shan’t cheat and not have to actively discourage it all the time.
yes. There are 2 in a relationship, it’s about working together to keep each other happy and to communicate when someone’s needs change or aren’t being fulfilled. It also the man’s responsibility to fulfull her needs to keep her from straying. It happens with both parties.
No. That’s absurd.
^ Agreed. With Riri.
Um… no. But both people have to “work” in a relationship.
Seriously, though, those aren’t the ways to keep a guy loyal.
I just want to fuck as many women as possible before I settle down.
No – I think the guy needs to be responsible for his own behavior. That being said, a woman shouldn’t make a difficult for a man to remain faithful.
This responsibility goes both ways. You can read all about it in one of the apostle Paul’s letters to new Christ-followers twenty centuries ago. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years. One of the most important things about our relationship is the balance between support/friendship and fun. I’m his best friend, and he’s mine: we come to each other when we have problems, we trust each other completely, and we try to help each other grow. However, we still flirt regularly, we don’t have any particular routine to be stuck in, and while I can’t speak for him, I certainly don’t ever find myself bored around him.
Long-distance relationships don’t work out, aren’t advisable, and should be avoided if at all possible.
I think that’s how any long-term relationship has to be. It helps that he’s really understanding and that many of our personality differences balance well. Ultimately, though, it’s about being friends and lovers – I’ve never lost that feeling of excitement that I had at the beginning of the relationship. If anything, it feels stronger, because there is a deep attachment as well as the still-new feeling of it.
Of course, that newness has stagnated with him being away for several months.
personality i think the best idea would just be to keep him in bed….
that way no one leaves
It’s mutual responsibilty
Long-distance relationships don’t work out, aren’t advisable, and should be avoided if at all possible.
Nah…….You gotta be creative and use this time to get to know each other even more! Email is boring but handwritten letters and special packages can be very helpful and a whole lotta fun. My husband and I spent a lot of our relationship long distance because i would return to hawaii and he to FL after college semesters and for summer but it was during THAT time I knew I couldn’t live without him. And it made seeing each other again
a lot more exciting! I think long distance is a good test of the friendship part of the relationship!
no. people are responsible for their own damn self. that’s some misogynistic bullsh*t.
Yes, but like anything in a relationship, it goes both ways.
And I very much like the fact that that article doesn’t revolve around sex to keep him from straying…because that tends to be a lot of people’s first thoughts on the subject.
Also, while I agree with Riri, I kind of think that goes into another part of this. Should you have to actively discourage straying? Of course not. But should you be able to keep the relationship there enough to where the other person doesn’t want to stray? Yes. Though, you shouldn’t have to work to keep the relationship there, because then it obviously isn’t anymore.
I keep writing letters to Christ but no one reads them. Maybe if I signed it Apostle Vaccerelli.
I think that it all comes down to feeling loved. If your partner doesn’t feel that you love them then they will likely try to find love elsewhere.
absolutely! As the former wife of a cheater, I know what I could have done to keep him at home, but I just didnt think it was worth it at the time.
Thats a great question, here is one for you,
Where the hell does everyone go on fridays?
To stop him from straying? No, that’s his own responsibility.
It is the partner’s responsibiliy to communicate with the other and find out where s/he stands. For both parties.
A healthy relationship does take two people working at it (although it may not feel like work).
Yes.. it is partly the wife’s responsibility.
No, that’s stupid. I agree with cutelrv:
”
To stop him from strayng? No, that’s his own responsibility.
It is the partner’s responsibiliy to communicate with the other and find out where s/he stands. For both parties.
A healthy relationship does take two people working at it (although it may not feel like work).”
If this makes sense: I think there are things we can do to help them not stray, but it’s not our fault if they do.
To a certain extent , yes, but in some circumstances a man will stray regardless of your efforts
Sex him up frequently and simply put treat him well and appreciate him… if he strays you know you tried and you move onto something better
no.
Somewhat- like many have said, relationships are a partnership. Regardless, however, your behavior is never justification for the other person to “stray” (or vice versa).
And, Dan, I find your video ads incredibly obnoxious. I visit your page less because of them. =/
Well, not doing things to drive him away does help. It’s his responsibility to handle himself, yes, but that doesn’t give the woman the right to be psychotic either.
It takes two to tango.
Don’t. Get. Me. Started.
Each member of the relationship is responsible for his and her own behavior. You give your utmost effort to maintain a good relationship. But if you bullshit around and cheat, that is on YOU, whether you are the man or the woman.
Nuff said.
Yes, women are on this world to serve our juvenile desires…………..
Your motive for treating your partner right and keeping the relationship interesting should be because you care about him/her, not to keep him/her from cheating. If you thought that cheating was such a definite possibility, why would you be with that person anyway?
you can only do so much…then the man does everything else
No, but it certainly feels like action doesn’t it?
One goal left of 2007 Dan. ONLY ONE.
I’m gonna hit it.
Soon.
No comment.
Sadly, yes.
If the couple is getting along and everything is going right, the thought of straying should not even be in anyones minds
If things are good, the other won’t stray.
The man is responsible for his own actions. If he cheats, it’s his fault. But that doesn’t mean the woman can’t try to prevent it. I have no sympathy for people who would rather play the blame game than actually work at their relationship.
Dan, PLEASE get rid of that video ad! it’s driving me nuts!
I think borh people in a relationship should be responsible for the relationship.
When you hold someone elses heart… you should be very, very careful with it.
They shouldn’t have to.
People need to be responsible for themselves. And I would hope there would be enough trust and love in a relationship not to have to worry about that.
hahahahahahaha. the article just made me laugh. it’s really just blaming the woman for the guy cheating. reminds of my mom, who’s 1st generation korean and blames everything on the woman and makes all kinds of excuses for the guy. she even tells me that men don’t like smart woman because smart woman make the man tired. so yeah. the article is quite unfair.
No, they shouldn’t have to, but it certainly makes it easier for the man when his wife at least acts interested in him.Thing is, if they are both giving, there is no taking or taking for granted.
no. free will has a lot to do with the “straying” syndrome.
The idea of keeping someone from “straying” sounds to me a lot like buying/playing with love. I don’t think that’s how it works. You need to have a healthy, good, open relationship with your partner and then no one will even consider.. “straying.”
The woman is not responsible for keeping the man from straying.
The man is not responsible for keeping the woman from straying.
There are things both partners can do to strengthen their relationship, but that is not the same as being ”responsible” for their partner’s behavior.
Relationships are 50/50.
Marriages are 50/50, and when you’re married, straying should not even be on your mind anyway. It’s something you promised not to do when you took your vows.
While I agree that the relationship should be worked on by both parties. This guy who wrote this (David Zinczenko) is clueless. Some of his suggestions are absurd. Understand this……when you send your guy out with the guys for 4 days, bad things could, and I said could…. happen.
Ultimately its the guys choice to cheat. Men choose to cheat. If he did it, he can say his woman neglected him, and let herself go, and didn’t understand his needs, and all that other crappy song and dance men give when they feel the need to cheat.Ultimately all I can say is…….BOO FRICKIN HOO! Break up, but dont cheat.
I heard about a university president whose wife got alzheimers. He stepped down from his job to care for her. It got to a point when she didn’t know him. But he stood by her. When you cheat……you’re a loser. And if you are lucky enough to be forgiven…….quit it.
Sorta… If you havn’t had sex with your husband in a year than you can pretty much expect him to do something. But really, cheating stems from other problems.
I agree with tehpoopz, only if it’s partially the man’s job to keep the woman from straying. Really, though, if the person’s going to cheat, they’re going to cheat.
Oh no. Then it makes it seem like our fault if they’re a bad partner. What up with that?
hell no. if a man starays, don’t EVER let him try and tell you it was your fault at all. the fault is with him. and that goes for both sexes. if a person strays it is because they wanted to regardless of whether or not their partner was the best lover in the world. some people love self-destruction (ruining anything good in their lives) and some people really just don’t care either way.
Yes.
No it’s no ones responsibility but the person cheating, but it seems as though no one wants to take personal responsibility anymore. It’s always someone else’s fault. And whats sad is that people are agreeing, in 1994 there was that woman who won a law suit against Macdonald’s because they put a cup of hot coffee between their own legs and when the lid popped off it burned them. (not that McDonalds wasn’t at fault for keeping their coffee that hot). Next were gonna see people suing video game makers because their products are addicting and the lost their job because of it.
If you use the word “responsible” you will get negative comments, and you should, no one is responsible for the actions of another.
But putting forth a real effort, to keep your mate happy is a real good idea.
Those are nice things to do for your man, but if a guy wants to stray, often nothing will stop him. There are guys who would not stray regardless of how his woman was acting.
But, further, women should work on not just loving, but also respecting their man and men should continue to show their wives that they love them. Each has a responsibility to do these things for one another. If they do, they will have a much better marriage; if they do not, their time together won’t be so enjoyable.
There you have it……men quit whining…….and quit cheating……..dirt bag!
If the woman is a bitch and rather abussive an moody all the time.. I believe any man would stray.
God, that’s such a loaded question. I think if the woman is doing things that are hurtful to the relationship then that might make the man more likely to cheat, so women should try not to intentionally do damaging things. But I think you can be doing everything as well as you can and sometimes cheating still happens, in which case how can it be your fault? I was a really awesome wife and that didn’t stop my ex from being unfaithful.
lol. At first I thought this said “5 ways to keep your Mom from straying”
Haha, PacifismPlease! You don’t want your Mom telling anyone other kids to eat their veggies!
yes. if she is mean, hateful, negative biotch he is going to go looking around. this doesn’ mean he is not guilty as well, but a relationship needs to be a 2 way street.
both bare the responsibility. and the reverse is true for him as well.
The woman shouldn’t be completely negligent, if that’s what you mean.
But if it’s a functional relationship and on top of that the woman has to work to keep him from cheating on her, fuck that.
That’s like taking care of a dog. That’s no relationship.
I’m only responsible for my actions. But because I love and respect my guy, I do what I can to make him happy and he does the same. Obviously any kind of “straying” would be the end of “us”.
Nothing would alleviate a man’s responsibility for his actions if he IS cheating on his wife, but trying to build a healthy relationship is always a good idea. . .and if it makes a man less likely to stray, then everybody wins.
Didn’t you think that “having a reasonable amount of sex” was conspicuously missing from that list? There are no rules here, but it would seem to me, that someone who’s not getting any at home for months at a time would be more likely to go looking elsewhere.
Only stupid men would think that its the women’s fault for them straying.
> I think it’s tit-for-tat…. What are the main reasons, do you think, for either/or to go astray? If it’s lust, then maybe he/she has lost that appeal. Or is it inattentiveness to the other, for whatever reason, drink, drugs, no real emotional attachment….
Peace?
Each individual, having committed themselves, is responsible for staying committed, regardless of the other person’s actions. However, if the other person is as committed, it makes it easier.
It’s her responsibility to help, but if he fails, it’s ultimately his responsibility (that goes both ways).
A man (or woman) who truely loves and respects his life partner wouldn’t cheat. It’s not up to the other person to remind them not to. Once cheating does happen(and eventually, it will) all you can do is dump the cheater, because if they cheat once, they will again, and most people are hopefully smart enough not to get involved in a yo-yo relationship.
good little snippet article. I think if I choose to be with someone, I need to choose to do it well. To know them, to help them…..etc etc. So- well, he has choices too, but I need to be able to say I have given it all. I mean – way more than nine yards.
No. But at the same time there are things you can do to make your relationship strong enough so that neither person has as much of a reason to. And that’s a two-way deal– it’s both the partner’s responsibility to work on the relationship and try to keep things steady and happy.
Nope