December 9, 2007
-
Clever or Sexy
I was reading an article about the book “In Prude: How The Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls, Carol Platt Liebau.”
In the book, the author suggest that women “prefer to look sexy than rather than be clever. Here is the link: Link
Would you rather people think you are attractive or to think you are clever?
Comments (133)
Clever
Though, wouldn’t anybody?
Sexy… coz people already know I’m smart.
Ha.
It depends on the situation. If I’m at a wedding or other fancy social event, I want to look good. But if I’m at work, I’d prefer to look clever.
Attractive….and that is my clever answer!!
Hopefully clever.
Clever and intelligent!!
attractive
Clever. I’m not opposed to being attractive, though.
ATTRACTIVE with wits.
It is very hard to be clever. It takes hard work or a very rare gift form God. The average girl is is naturally only average. Very few have any great gift of intelligence. Without such a gift we are talking very hard work to be clever. And the results of being clever take time to see.
Now looking sexy takes little effort and the average girl looks rather good to the average guy, when she is at her best. So looking sexy is nothing really. It’s not hard work and the results are very easy to see.
The truly clever are rare creatures, and I would prefer to be one of those rare creatures.
Whatever will get me laid…they can think either.
I’ve always heard the saying that beautiful women want to be told that they are smart and smart women want to be told that they are beautiful.
Personally, I would like to reject the “cookie cutter” model of sexiness that is shoved down our throats and embrace the fact that smart and sexy can go hand in hand. I don’t think I would be as sexy as I am if I were not also smart.
In all honesty, I’d like people to think I’m at least a little attractive. Then, if I’m clever, they will be willing to find out past the first impression exactly how clever I am. You have to admit, appearance matters when it boils down to first impressions.
Or, maybe if not “attractive” exactly, I wouldn’t mind being called “relatively not ugly” or the like.
ehhh
smart.
I’d prefer random people look at me and have the internal thought, “Damn, she must belong to Mensa International.” This rarely happens, but I’m holding out.
Being ugly and clever would never work so you have to be a bit attractive to pull off clever.
I think clever makes you look sexy
attractive, no doubt.
nobody gives two shits whether a girl is smart, no matter what they say.
^^MyJudas
I have always thought of you as a nobody. So I agree “a nobody” cares little if a girl is smart or not.
you know, i’ll have to admit, in the public eye, I want to be scene as sexy. there is too much pressure not to be anymore!
although, with my boyfriend’s family, or at home, I prefer to be clever. I don’t need to show off to anyone!
* wow, that should’ve been “seen”
In a world where beautiful girls are a dime a dozen I would rather be clever
The more I grow, the more people seem to think that being clever is better (even, sexier) than a dumbass.
I’d rather people THINK I’m attractive… but I’d rather BE clever.
I think being attractive just leads to self destruction. I say this from most women and girls that I know in my life who are attractive – and now find themselves on a self destructive path. I would much rather people see and think of me as clever, and I’d rather be clever. Beauty is only skin deep – hense the reason why most beautiful people are shallow…
Sincerely,
T.
I am beautifully clever
Thank Allah :]
It’s human nature to form an opinion about someone within the first five seconds, usually even before speaking. And that first impression is the hardest to change. I want them to think I look sexy. Statistics have proven people think ugly people are dumb. If you look good, they think you’re smart. So it’s win-win. I don’t even know how I could make my appearance look so someone thinks I’m “clever”.
Clever and intelligent.
Clever.
I am clever AND attractive, but since I have to choose…
I would rather be clever.
Being “sexy” only lasts so long, but I can still be clever into the later years of my life.
I would rather be pretty, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Clever. And I’m probably more known for my brain/personality than I am for my looks (which are generally termed “cute” rather than “sexy”). That is probably why no guys are chasing me. Regardless of how much women protest they’d rather be smart than sexy, I think most women would actually like to be sexy. Being sexy is really about pleasing/attracting men. Deep down most of us want that more than we want to have brains. Let’s be for real.
I have always been more attracted to the intelligent womenfolk.
it depends on who says it.
either way, is anyone ELSE annoyed at the obnoxious counteraction against
overly sexualized culture that basically turns girls, and their sexuality, back into property
that has to be constantly guarded and protected from harm?
those whiney feminists are just withholding sex to their advantage,
instead of offering sex to their advantage. so, what’s the difference?
less sex! more cranky people!
I’m surprised I’m saying it, but for once I agree with la_faerie_joyeuse:
“I’d rather people THINK I’m attractive… but I’d rather BE clever.”
Clever.
I would like both, because, frankly, at the moment I’m neither.
I always think it’s funny when people are surprised to find that they agree with me on anything. teehee.
But seriously, my response is awesome, and here’s why:
if you’re downright unattractive, you are discriminated against. If you’re extremely attractive, people can’t get enough of you. They want you everywhere – particularly in the business world. The potential downside is attracting masses of dumb shallow potential fuck-buddies, but if you’re more clever than you look, then you can easily send them packing.
Also, despite what some people said, people assume that extremely attractive women are less intelligent than moderately attractive women. They assume that unattractive women are the least intelligent. So basically, if you’re extremely attractive, you’ll get jobs, and other stuff, more than unattractive women, and about the same as moderately attractive women… but people won’t expect you to do great or lots of work compared to less attractive women. So, you can either slack and get by on less work because you’re beautiful, or (since you’re unexpectedly clever), you can do as much work as the average-looking woman, and YOU get promoted, because it was so unexpected. There’s a huge “WOW!” factor when someone is more clever than she looks.
But I’ll never be considered drop-dead gorgeous to most people. I’ll have to settle for slightly above average looks and quite a lot of cleverness.
Clever…but I’d like to find a medium as well.
One is always much better when coupled with the other.
Clever, most definitely.
i think being clever is part of what makes me so attractive!
Clever. It’s the way I already am and I don’t think I could deal with being known as attractive, no matter how flattering the concept is.
Hmmm…sexy AND clever would be nice.
illumination: integrity. cleverness with show natural beauty. sexiness is what describes that sense of natural beauty. anyone can be… uhh, to an extent.
I’d rather people THINK I’m attractive… but I’d rather BE clever.-excellent answer
bleh, bad syntax and not to the point.
i mean that cleverness pertains to natural beauty with the eyes, body, face, and gestures.
”clever” could be interpreted as witty and charasmatic, which kind of makes people forget you’re average-looking.
in any case, i would rather be a smartass than a dumbass any day of the week.
Wait, judging from these responses here — you’re either sexy or ugly? No in-between?
I dunno, I wouldn’t say I’m completely attractive, but I’m definitely not ugly.
I think most people will say they’d rather be clever. But tell them “You have such a great personality, but your face looks like a foot,” and they’re going to get pissed.
We know the “right” answers but who really wants to admit it?
I’d rather be thought of as clever – in my experience it is a factor in attraction.
Clever.
In all truthfulness I think I could say that most people would rather want people to think that they are attractive then clever.
I would like to be both.
i find this a redundant question since cleverness is one of the most attractive things out there!
which is to say if you are a guy and you LOOK tood but can’t hold an intelligent conversation with me ALL you are is a body to fuck. but if you can hold a conversation that engages me intellectually, or makes me laugh, i will be interested in you as more than just a body to fuck. in fact i will probably pursue a relationship instead so that the sex is special not just fucking. it’s potentially true i’m a minority on this though.
i would like people to appreciate me being cleaver. however most ppl today put such an emphasis on outward appearances that those of us who have beauty that can not be seen right away end up getting screwed.
a lot of ppl say looks don’t matter, and for a select few they really don’t. many people will agree to a certain extent though looks do matter.
i still disagree…and can’t wait for the world to follow.
in today’s world i’d like to be attractive.
I’ll take clever and attractive!
Geez I wish I looked like her… Though I guess I’m one of the lucky people who can say that others like me for my personality. *sigh*
People who are not smart are not attractive. And so, the two go hand in hand.
How funny, I’m reading Prude right now. It’s very good.
I’d rather be known as clever than sexy.
I’d rather BE clever then BE sexy (because “cleverness” helps me with pondering things, helps me with writing–which sexyness does not–nobody really cares what the author looks like unless they’re super famous, only then do people MAYBE know)
But I’d rather BE clever then LOOK clever. . .
that is, I want to be clever, but still not look like a geek!
Do you understand what I speak?
wow, after I send you this mini I’ll have 100 credits. . not that I haven’t before lol. . it’s just 100. . .big round nice number!
Be clever, or not
But don’t be forgot.
Be careful not to rot.
You will soon spot.
Blemish is unique, but we think it needs a tweak.
You may speak the truth, but if it doesn’ t fit in the box we carry, people will find it very scary!
Clever, and they do, so I’m happy.
clever, definitely.
Both
Well, I honestly think I’m pretty clever, but few people seem to treat me like I am, especially within my family, because I am clumsy and often blurt things out before thinking; I used to be perceived as a braniac because I was the top of my class through high school, but in college I seemed to fade into the crowd. So sometimes I wish I was just attractive, since it obviously doesn’t matter to most people how much I invest in my brain. But in reality, I just wish my cleverness was attractive, because the people who like brains are the kind of people I want to be around. I would never want to be a hott idiot, but it’s also hard being a bright person that no one seems to care much about.
i think i would prefer to be clever.
If only the opposite sex found me attractive…they already know I’m smart.
What ever happened to women and girls wanting to be pretty? It isn’t about being pretty anymore, it is all about being sexy. How sad.
Sorry but I would rather be a clever and pretty, but NOT SEXY!
I do not need men to be looking at me like a sexy piece of meat.
definately clever.
Cleaver.
I mean, clever.
Oh and that’s the rub. I do very much want to BE clever…..but I want people to THINK I’m attractive. I kind of wish it worked better together for women – that people would think we were attractive BECAUSE we are clever (when we are).
Clever. Any guy who just wants a hot chick to hang on his arm is pretty much worthless.
Clever – nobody knows what a ninja looks like anyway.
Being clever is kind of sexy.
But it’s hard to pull of being clever if you don’t look the part.
*pull off
Sorry.
here’s what i’d like: for people to initially think of me as sexy, and then slowly find out how clever i am. :]
Since many men don’t understand the true beauty of being clever, and only look at it in the dark light of cleverness being ‘bitchy’ or decieving, I can see why womean would rather look sexy.
I don’t quite understand how you can look ‘clever’, but I’d love for someone to tell me.
Even though I’m not sure about how one would looking clever, I think a little sexy cleverness is always a good thing
A good question shall be trailed by a good answer…
I am clever. I do not need to LOOK clever because of the fact I am. However, I like to look sexy because I am sexy… to some. But a little push to convince the other portion of the crowd to belive that I am wouldnt hurt.
Touche’?… Touche’
Both, because it’s true, it is a sex-obsessed culture. People get made fun of because they don’t look a certain way, but i wouldn’t want to be stupid. Who says you can’t be both?
clever…unfortunately, people judge you by how you look. Have you noticed that most stores have attractive cashiers, restaurants attractive hostess and waitresses. They have even done studys where they have a average man and women compete for a job against a very attractive couple. The attractive couple got the job even if they were not as qualified. very sad but true, i would still rather be clever
Clever.
Both, but at almost 70, neither one is likely.
Since I am 62, I’ll settle for people just thinking of me! I like the answer that la_faerie_joyeuse gave!
hopefully a bit of both.
Clever…cleverness will last after the attractiveness is gone.
I could care less, just see me for me.
Let’s face it, in this world if you’re good looking then you basically get have it easy.
And seriously, in the short time that you’re actually here, you might as well have it easy.
ckever I spose
clever. because clever people are automatically attractive… to me anyway.
Clever girls are more fun. I mean, major fantasies of guys involve smart women. Police, Doctors, Nurses, and Librarians.
’nuff said…
clever
why not both? I wouldn’t want to be the smart but unattractive girl, but I guess it would be better than being the beautiful bimbo.
Clever
i thought cleverness was part of being sexy
” Regardless of how much women protest they’d rather be smart than sexy, I think most women would actually like to be sexy. Being sexy is really about pleasing/attracting men. Deep down most of us want that more than we want to have brains. Let’s be for real. “
someone actually said something i can agree with… im marking my calender. seriously though, i dont give a crap what people think about me, i just wish the vast majority of them would just leave me alone.
I would rather not have an ego that irritates everyone else. :]
So being at least average, if not a little above, would be just fine.
Because no one likes self-absorbed people, clever or beautiful. They might look at your picture in a magazine or read what you say online, but really, none of them really like you.
clever = sexy.
but sexy does not = clever. =(.
i am clever.
therefore i am sexy ;D
q.e.d.
Find me attractive.
I’ll be clever later.
Clever.
Ha, you usually can’t see cleverness when you pass them on the street. Sexy all the way!
But Jessica Alba is both…mmm.
both
Both, please.
But I can see how clever becomes even more important, as you get older, because we don’t stay 21 forever.
I am all sexied out, time become the clever girl i was meant to be.
I say it depends on age. No one wants to be more than the other. Unless of course they already know they are ugly or stupid.
There is potential in everyone to be clever. However, there is not that same potential of being sexy. But then again, it’s all in the eye of the beholder. So whatever.
Coming off as “sexy” has never really occurred to me.
clever – defintely clever
Eh, I’d rather be clever, it’s more fun.
Hi, I work for BBC World Service radio on an international discussion programme called World Have Your Say and today (Monday) we are discussing whether feminism has failed, in light of the book by Carol Platt Liebau – “Prude: How the sex obsessed culture damages girls”. We are on air from 6pm to 7pm London time (1pm to 2pm East Coast Time in the States) and were wondering whether you would be interested in taking part in the discussion. Please send me the numbers you can be contacted on and a brief summary of your opinion or call me on +442075570635 and I will call you straight back. My email address is martin.vennard@bbc.co.uk.
Many thanks
Martin Vennard
Both are vanity.
Clever.
I haven’t read Prude yet, but I’ve read several similar things, and the “hotness” movement DOES do women a huge injustice by selling the idea that it’s OK to play small and settle for being an attention whore. Furthermore, who decided feminists were ugly? Gloria Steinem was lovely enough to be a Playboy bunny. Naomi Wolf is beautiful. Ariel Levy is quite cute. Looking your best, or at least as good as is practical timewise, helps you interact with people, helps you have a healthy sex life, thus is part of living the well-rounded life I’d like us all to aspire to.
Being sexy is a turn on but cleverness is long lasting.
I hate to admit it, but even at my age (or maybe because of my age), I’d rather be attractive than clever.
Now then, if you had asked about being “intelligent” that might be a different story. You see, the word “clever” has a negitive conotation.
Sorry I’m ugly and clever… It’s not my cleaveage that would go, is my intelligence. If they don’t like it they’re just jerks as those pedophiles.
I like K8tethelate’s answer!
Legally blond.
Oops, I am a brunette. A clever brunetteeeeeee.
I know I am not sexy as defined by todays society, but at least I know how to keep people happy with honest conversation and sometimes a little laughter
people can take me or leave me as I am
They say that it is best to tell a sexy person they are clever and a clever one that they are sexy. It means more.
cleverness can make a woman sexy
I rather people know that im clever but who doesnt want to look sexy
Oooh, there’s a quote from one of the “Tammy” movies that comes to mind, but I can’t remember all of it. Something about men being able to see better than listen? lol
I See that a lot of people are saying basically sexy and clever. the question states sexy OR Clever not attractive and smart.
Anyway, today’s society is obsessed with out we appear to others, it is true we are judged before we open our mouths and with attractive people receiving better service generally it is only human nature to want to appear attractive.
Of course that being said most people would have to be honest with even themselves when answering this question, most people would probably choose attractiveness because as a society we’ve been born and bread to believe good things will be handed to us if we are pretty or handsome.
Of course, I find myself to be attractive but it’s amazing how many people downplay my intelligence because of my families status and my looks.
There is a reason why eating disorders, self mutilation, suicide and depression are on the rise. It is impossible to hold ourselves to the standards we believe we have to live by.
Both, but I prefer clever ,I just don´t care that much about what people think of my looks
Why not both? i like it when others think i’m attractive, but that i have substance too.
getting clever first,and then process into a both clever and attractive person.
clever > sexy
I think this theory is pretty dead on though. Just by looking at pop culture and seeing how most girls feed into it, it would suggest this was true.
However, this is mostly because some guys these days are more likely to talk to girls who “look” hot/sexy than girls who are intelligent.
Sad reality.
I’ve seen it a lot,
and have experienced it….
unfortunately. -_-
both
clever.
cos when u’re clever, many ppl will wana employ u and u’ll have a good job.
with a good job, u’ll have good pay.
and with a good pay, u can pay to make urself look attractive.
eg: plastic surgery.
beauty is skin deep. u can pay to look beautiful./ sexy.
but no amount of money can make u smart.
Definitely sexy because nobody cares if you’re smart and if you wanna be heard you have to get everybody’s attention the only way you can!