December 19, 2007
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Blaming the Mother
I have noticed people are blaming the mother of Jamie Lynn Spears.
Her daughter is pregnant at the age of 16 so it must be her fault. Plus Britney is out of control so that shows a pattern. (Not sure why we don’t blame the father. If he wasn’t involved in their lives, I wonder what kind of impact that would have on Jamie Lynn and Britney).
I see parents that have kids go to jail. I see parents who have their kids get hooked on drugs. Some of these parents at least on the surface appear to be loving and caring parents.
Based on what we know, can we blame the mother?
Comments (86)
She’s at least partially responsible, yes.
Well based on one article my friend showed me last night, her mother said that she was shocked herself and that she always made sure Jamie came home on curfew and other stuff like that.
Children can be rebellious. I know I am. Sure, my parents weren’t too happy about me being this sexual active and threaten me that if it continues, I get kicked out of the house. Yeah, I’m still home.
Children especially teens like myself can find ways to get around rules. Once you find that it works, you keep doing it. Sometimes you get caught, sometimes you don’t.
Oh yes we can. One bad kid and it happens in the best of families, but this woman can’t even get one out of two right.
Perhaps in part. Being loving and caring is not enough. Parents have to discipline their children and teach them good values. Did she do that……?
everyone over a certain age has responsibility for themselves,but the way they were raised heavily influences their actions,so yes,we can put a bit of blame on the mother…
<8
gina
I want to say both yes and no? lol
I think parenting has something to do with it…but you know, life in the limelight like that makes it even worse.
Plus, I dunno. I could have easily “gotten into trouble” at 18 – in college – and that wasn’t my mom’s fault. It was my own. I was just lucky…
Not all mothers are at fault for their teens behavior, but in this case, someone should smack the crap out of Jamie Lynn Spears’ mother!!
She should have taught her daughters about birth control and loving themselves.
So partially, it’s her fault.
It seems to me that when two out of your three kids are screwed up, you are doing something wrong as a parent, if the father wasn’t around then that could possibly be a partial explanation but she is still a demonstrably bad parent. Also, if you look at the parenting skills that Britney has been demonstrating with her kids, its hard to think she ever had a good role model.
you can’t blame her totally. britney and jamie’s actions came as a result of their own choosing. i highly doubt that this is what their mother wanted for them. however, you can’t completely let her off the hook either. your upbringing makes up a large part of who you are and always influences you. britney and jamie aren’t responsible people, and i think that a significant contributor to that is that their mother isn’t very responsible either.
raising kids is like a plane taking off. the control tower is responsible for it while it’s on the runway but as the plane starts to take off and is then flying, it’s then up to the pilot, nearly in entirety , to fly it right.
i’m not a credible source. i am a minor. haha.
I always blame the parents. Both of them. Even an inaction can be the greatest wrong doing.
Um, yea, so if any of you have ANY siblings that got pregnant it’s partially your fault then to. Or if your close friend did.
How about blaming the one that had sex and got pregnant and the boy that got her that way. Her mom didn’t tell her to go out and have unprotected sex. Her mom tried establishing rules. But you don’t think that kid is going to be completely perfect? No one is, and she has a lot of stress and a lot of expectations and probably a lot of crap thrown in her face. It isn’t that suprising she would act out against her mom’s wishes.
Brittany did work before 1998. She wore modest clothes and and had a clean image before she made it big in that school girl uniform acting oversexed. It’s not like her mom fucked her up. There was a definite transition when she started her major career. Before she was 17 she did the Mickey mouse club, off-broad way performances, 3 summers in professional preforming art schools…. She was raised baptist and sang in the church.
But no, her mom shoved her into an immoral industry and didn’t raise to to have any morals or show any talent. She did it to the younger one too!
Really people. If all your think through on “Who should I blame” is that mother of an adult that has not been making the wisest choices must be at fault for everything wrong in her other daughter’s life…. you’re retarded…
What makes those who are so far from the situation so qualified to point fingers?
Not entirely…Yeah, she raised her daughters, by the looks of it, not so well, the father is to blame for being an asshole, but Jaime takes most of the blame. It was her decision, she could just have easily said NO.
Are celebrities forbidden to get abortions? Did I miss something?
no, some girls are just stupid.
In every situation? No. In this one? Yes.
Bad parenting is putting their children in show business and not expecting problems like this to arrise.
But in the real world, no. Dont blame the parents. No matter how great, loving, or strict they may be, children will rebel.
By the way, was the mom in the bedroom when the child was conceived? Was she put in charge of putting on the condom? NO. So how is her daughter having unprotected sex her fault?
I don’t think we can blame the mother. But I still wouldn’t read a parenting book by her.
fuck that. personal responsibility, bitches!
no, choices are made by the individual. parents can guide and give advice, but it’s the child’s responsibility to interpret what their parents say
no we can’t; her mother did not put her gun to her head and made her have sex! she chose to… she’s 16, old enough to know where babies come from and to know about birth control. But at the same time since he is 19 her mom could have filed some sort of report whether of having sex with a minor or a restraining order against him but she didn’t!
Yes Jamie Lynn and Britney made their own personal choices but ultimately ADULTS are the people who guide children who become teenagers who become young adults who finally become full pledged adults that educated and guide. This starts with primary responsibility on parents/family and others like educators, child care providers, counselors, etc. Without the proper education and guidance these children–>teenagers–>young adults are not fully capable of understanding consequences of choices…whether poor or proper.
Parenting is not a glamorous job and parents are not perfect people, but when a person becomes a parent they essentially become an adult…very quickly (doesn’t matter the age) thereby taking on responsibilty of educating and guiding.
Yes, children will and do rebel even with parents who have been good role models and it doesn’t mean they are bad parents but their children have made bad choices.
To answer your question…it’s a case of overall bad choices from lack of poor communication.
blantenly put Yes
not really. evidence that no talks about sex and protection (i reject abstinance only talks as they are highly ineffective) were had at early ages would indicate a lack of attention to modern culture but not really fault. 16 means making her own choices whether or not they are “good” choices.
I’m actually careful not to blame her 1) because it’s their personal business and I don’t know the whole story and 2) because it’s quite possible that she did all she could with the girls and at some point had to leave whether or not they would make good decisions up to their judgment. All I say is that she probably has no place in writing a parenting book, because it looks silly given the conditions her daughters are in. Whether that perception is fair or not, it is out there.
I never hear about these girls father either. Did they grow up without a father? If they did not, it could explain a good part of their behavior. I’m a firm believer that a child needs both parents and if one is missing, something significant will be missing from their formation.
but the mom CAN be blamed for exploitation of her children and placing them into an environment that encourages sexual behavior at young ages (hollywood). her responisibilty should have been to make sure they had the tools to deal with that or basic info on how to live that would not be compromised in a variety of situations.
Blame stupidity.
Wow… can we talk about anything else?
Only partially. I get the feeling that JLS wanted this to happen…
I’m sure she tried but sometimes parents can’t keep their kids from running their own lives. Even if she didn’t try, the kids are old enough to have their own minds. Good Lord! Brittany has three kids she doesn’t need. The state should take them. Jamie Lynn has made a choice she can’t turn back. This is their choices. The mother did push them into show biz though. She should expect all of this.
We can mock her for writing a parenting book, but ultimately, we can only guide our kids and do the best we can do. They are the ones who decide things.
I have to wonder if she got pregnant because she needs and wants her mother’s attention. Mom always seems to be involved with Brit.
I don’t think we should single-handedly point the finger at mothers. Moms have it hard enough already-I mean what’s up with “yo mama” jokes? You seldom see a “yo papa” joke around.
Meh. It’s the kids choices. Blaming the mother would be like saying “This 16-year-old isn’t responsible for her own actions”. That’s simply not true.
Based on what we know, I’m not sure!
hahahaa…
I would probably say no. Our knowledge of what is REALLY going on is extremely limited and filtered by the media. SO… yeah. She’s 16, she made her own decision. Maybe her mom wasn’t a good role model for her, but do we really know that?
in part, yes, she is to blame. Jamie is still a minor and therefore is still influenced by her mothers’ actions & wishes. If she was older, then the blame would mostly fall on Jamie herself, as she is an adult, but as a minor those are decisions that should have been monitored by her mother.
jamie has been overshadowed my her sister, and her sister has probably been a huge role model for her.
Yes, the mother is probably partially responsible, but some kids are just rebellious and reckless. The mother let Brittany do what she did, she’s always been a hobag… so i think the mother is to blame in part, but it was the girl’s decision.
not necessarily. some girls are just slutty no matter how good of a mother they have.
The responsibility should be shared amongst Jamie, her mom, and the father of the baby. Her daughter is 16, she should be aware of what’s going on in her life.
“I see parents who have their kids get hooked on drugs.” hmm?
One more lost kid has a good point. At some point parents have no control over what their kids do. They can only try to instill values in their children and hope that they learn from them. We have to blame both parents if we are going to blame parents. We can’t just blame the mom.
I think it is not fair that all the attention is placed on their mother, i second you saying that wheres their dad. It seems that everything things go wrong, the blame will go to female counterparts in the family first.
What do you mean WE? WHY are WE blaming the mother?
It’s not as if Jaime Lynn being pregnant affects each and every individual one of us as a society, so why do would I care?
I don’t think I would like to be included in that “we” because it is pointless to blame someone for something that doesn’t really matter to our own lives.
It’s the mother’s fault for giving birth to them.
I”d have to say yes. She let him sleep with her, if you didn’t know. Like it would make sense if she got pregnant because she snuck off to hotels with him. But she ALLOWED jamie to have him over…
I believe Mom was about to come out with a book telling what a terrific Mom she was. Dubious when you look at Britney and now daughter number two wants to get some attention as well so she gets herself knocked up. sheesh
I never read any articles about her pregnancy, but is it being viewed as a bad thing for her? That is, is the girl upset?
It’s not the mom’s fault– *stressed* about how everyone loves to point fingers-
We can’t. Nite, Dan!
Is anyone, ever, in this society accountable for their own actions? Maybe mom was an excuse for a role model…and maybe she wasn’t but can anyone name any celebrity who hasn’t been affected by the Hollywood influence…even by proxy?
Parents can teach and model all kinds of good behavior, and the kids can still rebel and do whatever they want. They make their own choices. I have three kids – have had to raise them without a father not by my own choice – he died. One of the three is rebellious and not like the rest of us at all – makes bad choices all the time. The other two make good choices and follow rules and do what they’re supposed to do. They were all raised inthe same house, with the same morals, values, and faith. It’s eventually up to the teens which way they’ll go.
Having said that, in the Spears’ case, I really don’t know – I have no idea what the mother is like, or how she raised those girls. IS there a dad somewhere who has chosen to be uninvolved? That makes a difference, too. Why do you think those girls keep trying to find love and attention from men from such a young age?
I can’t say either way…I wasn’t a witness to what transpired. Girls at the age of sixteen getting pregnant…what a shocker! Leave her to suffer alone…God knows Jamie Lynn has enough to contend with in life (she has the Spears gene).
Yes, at least a bit.
I don’t think it’s her fault that her 16-year-old daughter got pregnant, no. But I do think she should have had more of a part in helping her daughter to love herself. She should have taught BOTH her daughters about birth control and proper protection, about the risks of having sex, and about the pressures of being in a relationship with a man (especially an older one). She also should have taught her daughter the importance of being a good role model to younger audiences since she was in the spotlight. But she, it appears, did none of that, and only she is to blame for not having proper communication with her daughter.
no
Nope.
I think the blame goes to all three involved. The boy for not being responsible enough to use protection, the girl for not making sure that he was doing so, and the Mother for any alleged “bad parenting.” 45% to each of the kids, and 10% for the Mom.
I don’t know about anyone else here, but I think most of everyone goes through this little phase of “teen rebelliancy.” Which is not a word. (: In which they believe they are ready to be an adult and that they can handle life as one, entirely, and so they make adult decisions – which come with adult consequences.
Parents will always be partially responsible.
Then you can take into account the child’s own stupidity =_=;
And all the people saying that the mother should have “monitored her decisions.”
…
When was the last time your parents “monitored” your life (more specifically your SEX life)? Wouldn’t that require them having a little knowledge about your sex life and your consent of them knowing?
=_=;
We have to blame someone! We can’t blame the sexually active pregnant sixteen year old. She’s only sixteen, remember?
I think she might be partially to blame for Britney’s problems, though you bring up the excellent point that no one asks about the father or blames him.
As for Jamie Lynn, well, how many of us had sex at a young age and even used birth control but were lucky enough that it didn’t fail? Just b/c she got pregnant doesn’t mean she wasn’t trying to be safe. Kids make mistakes all the time, even when they’ve had the best parents and the best upbringing.
I dont really know.. because I represent the opposite side. My mother literally is a crackhead. She is the worst excuse for a parent, I’m lucky to be alive (my 4 other siblings DIED) and to this day, I wish I had been sent to foster care.
So with all that.. I should have been a fuck-up too. Yet, I have no kids, no criminal record, good credit and I start law school in August. Does my mother get to take any responsibility for that?
We can blame the mother & we can blame the father but the bottom line is when these kids get a wild hair there is very little you can do to stop them.
It’s BOTH parents fault….Their mother has put herself out there in the spotlight with her kids so much that it is only natural that people put the blame on her.
I think in this situation the mother is mainly to blame…she’s been using them for a paycheck since they were both very little. She didnt buy that mercades with her own cash thats for sure…not having a father could cause a few behavioral issues, but not having guidance and being allowed to do whatever you want with whoever you want at such a young age, with no limitations…thats on the parent in charge…AKA the MOTHER.
The mother is ugly.
They came from a broken home of problems. They needed guidance and there careers took off at an early age and both girls are having to pay the price. Its not all the moms fault.
No. Sometimes, no matter how hard a parent tries, a child can and still will turn out rotten!
I definitley think she was too trusting.
I have heard that she said when brit got big that she just wanted to be her daughters friend which is no way to parent a teenager and what does this say about the way that she raised them. obviously it is necessarily all her fault but i think she plays a big role.
“What makes those who are so far from the situation so qualified to point fingers?” LeaderOfTheKnightsWhoSayNI
I agree.
My answer to this would be…NO. If you want to waste your time blaming someone, you don’t know, for something you think they did in a situation, you don’t know about………hmm… seems rather silly to me!
Depending on the situation, whether the mother did this or that may let others blame the mother. In this case, I do not know and I do not care. I really think Jamie is to blame for her own actions. She made the choices and that is that. I wonder how Britney thinks of her sister being pregnant.
x0x MK
Her mother let her live with her boyfriend. Very stupid. I’m sure Jamie would have gone out and got knocked up anyway, but still.
No person would be the same with a different set of parents, because it’s parents who shape a child into the person that they eventually choose to become.
However, there comes a point where you have to realize that parents are not the child’s only influence anymore. There’s school…there’s the media…television…radio….
and for the Spears family, Hollywood and Paparazzi and all sorts of things we can’t even fathom.
We have no right to “blame” anyone or to even judge Britney or Jamie Lynn.
We’re no better than them. It’s just that everyone can see every tiny little mistake these people make…and thrive on it.
If our parents, and the entire world knew what WE had done when we were teenagers, they’d think we were crazy and messed up too.
It is tricky. In one way a child is a reflection of their parents standards and morals, but even with the best of parenting, at some point children are going to make their own descisions. They cannot monitor everything their child does when they aren’t in their site, but I think IF they have done a good job teaching their child standards and morals, their children won’t make bad choices.
NO! We guide them, but we are not responsible for how they turn out! We are only the rudder, they are the boats.
My mother was caring, loving, and sometimes strict, but I still did drugs and had sex when I was in high school.
The only way a parent could ensure that their child was always doing the right thing is to always be with them. That would probably have more negative effects when the child turns 18.
Until a child becomes a legal adult, I think in most cases, it is alright to lay some blaim on the parents. In my case, I raised my daughter a certain way, but had to change the way I cared for her when she was 13, and she found out she could call the police anytime I corrected her and she didn’t like it. Sometimes it backfired on her though, and the police would talk to her, then, later she got into trouble on her own. Since my daughter is a legal adult, I feel sorry when she does get into trouble, but I have to let her be herself. I can’t own up to anything further that she does or doesn’t do.
We should blame her, and the fact that both girls were put in the spotlight for most of their lives.
I’m wondering how long this little girl has been haivng sex?! Remember Britney going around for the longest bragging about being a virgin?
I got pregnant at 19, it wasn’t my mom’s fault, it wasn’t my dad’s fault. They taught abstinence, and marriage before sex. I walked away from that.
No responsible parent will tell their kid to “wrap it up and be safe.” no parent wants their children having sex.
Mom didn’t root daughter on,”yeah! go team babymaking!” it’s stupid.
the fact is, there are millions of people who had babies under 18….but it’s not publicized, it happens all the time, why the hell do we care so much about a teen pregnancy to someone we don’t know, when it doesn’t affect us? Oh yeah, they’re a celebrity, so it’s automatically our business.
honestly, everyone should just butt out, it’s already scary enough being 16 and pregnant, but to have the media jumping down her throat and calling her trailer trash could make her do something horrible.
Shame on you people who prey on gossip. and you too Dan.
Based on what I know (pretty much nothing), I can’t say for sure. I don’t really care.
I do believe she is partly responsible for them.
But at the same time there is only so much you can do. You can’t control everything your child does, right or wrong.