December 21, 2007
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Fighting
You may remember back when I was tired of my son getting beat up. I worked with him a little. I told him he had to stand up for himself. We have raised our kids to not fight. But there appeared to be no choice but to prepare him to defend himself.
So yesterday he got in a fight. And now he has been kicked out of school for 3 days.
The thing that got me was that the school didn’t kick the other kid out. They said the other boy had pushed my son and the versions of who pushed who first is what is being argued.
But the assistant principal saw my son punching him. So it was determined that both kids had done some pushing and my son says the other kid punched him. The assistant principal said that she didn’t see the other kid punching him but that she questioned a few kids around the situation.
The assistant principal wouldn’t tell me what the other kid’s punishment was because of privacy issue but she said pushing was different than punching.
Is pushing different than punching?
Comments (126)
Fighting is fighting. I don’t think there should be any differentiation in pushing or hitting, you get into an altercation at school, mutual combat, then the punishment should be uniform to teach people that if you even indulge beginning a fight, you will suffer consequences of your actions.
Is this assistant principal filling you with the idea “How did this idiot get a job of power?”
c’mon Dan. duh
I think pushing and punching are both wrong not matter how hard you do it to someone
Whether it is playing or being rough/getting into a fight.
Yeah, punching is harsher than pushing. I think the school is being unfair though. Just because they didn’t see the other kid punch, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. We had similar problems when our son was young. He was getting picked on constantly and we were going in to talk to the teacher and principal and getting nowhere. We finally told him to defend himself too, and an incident occured similar to you son’s. He got punished, even though the other kid was the aggressor who started it. It was just that our son landed a good punch that hurt the other kid. If you have been to talk to the school about your son getting beat up before, I would remind them of that and tell them that you told him to defend himself, especially if this other kid was involved before. Even if they don’t give the other kid punishment, at least you’ll be on record with them where you stand. We ended up moving our son to a private school because the principal at this particular public school was an idiot.
yes.
i mean, come on. it’s like the different between male bravado and an all-out brawl, really. ha.
No, in fact any physical contact no matter WHO hit or pushed first should be treated the same. It may have been that the other boy kept pestering your son who finally threw the first swing, no matter they should both be suspended for the same amount of time. It is completely unfair for the ass principle to make a judgement based only on what she saw and hearsay. Both children should be given the same consequence. I would seriously schedule a meeting with the ass principal and the other child’s parents. Especially since there has been issues with your son getting picked on. Seriously consider complaining to the school. It is NOT fair to base the punishment only on what she saw, a lot happens before that makes a big difference.
pushing is different than punching, but both kids should have gotten the same punishment.
three days out of school is extreme in my opinion.
depends. if you push someone off a cliff that’s worse then punching them in the stomach
punching and pushing are different… in the concept of escalation of force: if shouting doesn’t work, you shove or push the other fella, if that doesn’t work, you sock him (punch)…
that kinda sucks about being kicked out of school for three days, but it’s Christmas time and kids shouldn’t be in school anyhow.
remember this: the dirty little secret of the pacifist is they exist because other people are there to protect them. sometimes that protection requires the use of force. I think you’ve done the right thing in teaching your son to defend himself… it will instill confidence in him… confidence is a great deterrent (just don’t let him become a bully).
Yeah, they are different, but aggressive contact is aggressive contact. They both should have been suspended.
I think both should have been suspended. Fighting is fighting, period.
it depends, a push can be a very violent thing. or playfully. it sounds like the other kid was trying to push him down to ether humiliate or start a fight.
But remember my rule regarding educators. Ed degree+administration = moron
Enjoy the three day vacation, he sounds like he was only defending himself. If he did not hit the other kid back, more blows would have followed. You know it, your son knows it. But school administrators are lucky if they know how to blow their own noses, without a memo from the superintendent telling them when and how to do it.
well… pushing isn’t always intended to cause pain or harm. You might give someone a small shove to get them out of your way not trying to knock them down or hurt them, but definitely intending to annoy them. But punching almost always is used specifically as a means to hurt someone.
On the other hand, I think aggressive pushing can be just as if not more dangerous than punching. If you are pushed into something or fall onto something or just fall in the wrong way you can be caused serious lasting physical harm. This is very likely when someone is pushed when they are unaware and pushed off balance.
The real problem here is the assistant principal taking questioned kids word for what happened. In the absence of eye witness testimony from a responsible adult, the students should be given the same punishment I think.
Ah, does it matter? Now the other kids know to leave him alone. The other should have recieved the same punishment.
Your son is a man now.
New layout is red like Communism.
yes, they’re different, but it doesn’t really matter. The other kid started the fight, so he should get the same, if not a harsher punishment as your son.
“Ah, does it matter? Now the other kids know to leave him alone.”
That says it all Dan, no one is going to bully your son anymore. Push Dan’s kid and you might get hurt. Move on to the weaker victim
Pushing and punching are both wrong, but punching is much more dramatic. Pushing is inviting a fight and it is okay to stand up for oneself but still punching is wrong. I got bullied as a kid and ended up taking martial arts. Martial arts really took to me and I ended up studying it for nine years. They taught us to only fight when there was no other way to defend oneself. A battle of wits is usually the best way to diminish another’s self-esteem since that is what fighting is usually about.
Well….school’s now adays have that zero tolerance towards anything offensive. I overheard the principal the other day…he was walking with two students who were pushing the recycling bin. The boy commented he liked pushing the bin because he enjoyed the view …you know the girls walking in front of them. The Principal quickly told the boys they could get suspended!!
Pushing instigates punching.
And if the pushing was done first, the punching was partially self-defense. However, I believe self-defense is only considered to be self-defense when the defensive action is less than or matches the offensive action. Hmmmm…
I think the boys should have been punished equally.
I think fighting is fighting! I also think that both boys should have received the same punishment.
(*looks around*) Very festive around here, Dan!
Both should have been suspended for an equal time, but to answer your question, yes, punching is a slight step up.
But in school fights, that doesn’t matter.
yes, but i hope your son got a couple of good ones in !
Obviously it is different, but if they find that the other boy instigated the fight then the other boy should be punished just as your son was, IMHO.
Cotaroba said it well. Don’t worry about the suspension. The other kids definitely should have gotten suspended too. However, it is public education and most people in this country are aware, I believe, that the administrators and teachers there are not necessarily our brightest and best. NO OFFENSE INTENDED TO YOU TEACHERS WHO ARE DILIGENT ABOUT YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES!
Your son has established in the minds of the other kids that they maybe should think twice before they mess with him. I don’t think you can place a quantitative value on that, but there definitely is value.
Don’t be too tough on him, if at all.
Pushing can do more damage than punching sometimes. What happened to the days when everyone involved got the same punishment?
well yes it is but generally schools give the same punishment to all the kids involved. Hell, I got suspended for a week once because a teacher saw another kid walk up to me in the hall and hit me over the head with a textbook and then kick me in the nuts. I hadn’t done a damn thing before this teacher was there to break up the fight.
it’s different, but in my school both kids get the same punishment.
there’s too many different stories, no way to find out what really happened unless there’s cameras.so they should get the same punishment
Other kid started it… other kid gets punished at least as badly as your son.
As others have said, violence is violence. There is no difference. If you “punish” one, the other should be punished as well. That was a serious injustice.
While it is different, they should receive the same punishment. Put your son in some Judo classes, that should help the problem of being able to defend himself without throwing a punch and give him the confidence he needs to avoid the problem. Tell him to enjoy the vacation
Yes, in my way of thinking it is. Pushing is defending yourself (in most cases), while punching means you are out to do someone harm. Granted, you could walk up to someone and push them in an aggressive manner, but I think most of the time it could be seen as a way to block or defend yourself from someone else’s agressive behavior.
I hope it all works out for your family. I think I would take the bull by the horns and seek out the school counselor to see what they would suggest if your son is bullied again. That way it is on record that you have tried to find solutions. Paper trails are usually a good thing.
HELL NO!!!!
As a martial arts instructor I have to say you did the right thing.
Please tell me you’ve made prior complaints against the bully. Because if so you can appeal this decision to your local schoolboard.
Bullys simply have to be stood up to or they get worse! I know that from expierience.
“Well….school’s now adays have that zero tolerance towards anything offensive.”
Evidently this particular school doesn’t have a zero tolerance for starting a fight. Just engaging.
i doubt the other kid didn’t punch him. hell, i was suspended once for being punched because i “had obviously done something to instigate it”. i stepped on his new shoes by accident.
and the other guy? no suspension, because the AP refused to believe he didn’t have a good reason for hitting someone. at my high school, even if you didn’t defend yourself, you got suspended, because the AP’s didn’t want to get into the who did what mess.
kudos to your kid, dan. someone started something and he finished it. i don’t think he’ll be getting into anymore fights if he got the kid good
I agree 110% with cotaroba. It is more important to defend yourself…than to not get in trouble. The sad lesson of life is that the authority very rarely is able to protect the individual…and you have done something very noble and right…
you have taught your son to NOT be a victim.
Good job dad.
I strongly believe in non-violence. But as my 11 year old step brother tells me, ignoring the offending kid really does not help- they simply don’t stop pushing and hitting. A person most certainly has the right to defend himself, and if the kid doesn’t stop after being ignored, and being told off and if a staff member does nothing, how can expect a kid not to hit back?
They should have suspended the other kid too. I hope you complain about this, and past bullying.
The other kid should have equal punishment, but she’s probably not going to punish him. I hate it when people in authority over children are slacking – how are these children going to really learn what’s fair? Well I guess it would be good for them to not learn since life really isn’t that way, but still.
Push / Punch her and see which one she likes better =)
My simple understanding:
punching=closed fist
pushing=open handed shove
However, both kids should receive equal punishment.
Not in a school fight. How old are these kids?
Everyone consider him the Coward of the County.
hell yes at professor tom. sounds like your boy finally ffaced his gatlins
I think you should go and see the Principal. I think that the justice should be equal.
I think that they could come up with something more constructive than missing school. SO does the suspension follow him in to the new year?
maybe community service would have been a better idea
tired boys are good boys 
Just the thoughts of one Principal:)
Suspension is the easy way out
IMHO
Inschool suspension is a different ball game
it’s different, yes, but both kids should have been punished. figured detention or something, three days out of school is a bit much.
wished my folks taught me to fight growing up. now that i know how to fight, i’m old enough to be arrested. c’est la vie, right?
You need to support your son, Dan. He’s standing up for himself like you askd. Forget the school. You back your son. If you really wanted to make an impression you should have punched the assistant principle in the face in front of your son.
Punching and pushing are different, but both kids should be punished. In my high school, you got suspended for fighting even if you didn’t hit the person back. So if someone hit you or something, no matter if you defended yourself or not, you got punished.
I guess from a school administrator position, hitting, punching, physical contact is general is the same thing as fighting, You raised him good. Better than kicked out for 3 days than home injured for 3 days. Does that mean he gets a early Christmas break??
They are spelled differently but that’s about it.
Way to go, public school system! Woo!
Same crap.
They should get equal punishment….detention,not suspension.
Punching is different than shoving but it is still an offensive gesture .
Yes, and punching should carry a stiffer punishment than pushing.
Pushing first, however, is itself also a serious crime.
When I was in public school… at least in my highschool, I know that both were charged a $250 dollar fine for fighting no matter who thre the first punch (even if one did not punch).. if you were in the fight then you got fined. Most kids figured if they were gonna get charged anyway they might as well fight back. It is really unfair in situation dealing with bullies – but its true that a teacher cannot speak for something they did not see.. and it is likely that the students wont tell on the bully for fear of being bullied themselves. The situation stinks and i am sorry – but I would say your kid did the right thing in finally standing up for himself – I dont know what he is supposed to do if the school will not help him. Just make sure he understands the difference between defending himself and just being offensive and harming others.
Daniel (doubledb)
Bah… punching is harsher than pushing, but good for your son for standing up for himself! Hopefully the other kids will get the message not to pick on him and this sort of thing won’t happen again. btw about the punishment – both kids should have got the same treatment, and a much lighter punishment than suspension for 3 days – say, a couple of detentions. That way the school still gets across the message ‘fighting is not ok’ and the kids’ schoolwork doesn’t suffer, especially not for the one who didn’t start the fight. I think meeting the assistant VP and the parents of the other kid is a very good idea.
and I think they got suspension ro detention but dont remember
Pushing can lead to punching!
WAIT A SECOND- WHAT HAPPENED TO ZERO TOLERANCE!?
Since the principal didn’t see the whole thing, she shouldn’t have gone off of hear-say to suspend only your son. I think you should fight it, Dan, to be honest. What if she “hears” that your son has been picked on and beat up in the last year? Will she suspend anyone then?
Crazy.
btw- thew new layout is nice.
Yes, it is. I can push someone with great force, but there’s no way I’d be able to punch someone. That’s where true fighting comes into play. Someone’s just playing around if they push someone..
No.
Pushing can be just as violent & harmful as punching. Sometimes even more so.
I say go down there & give them hell, Dan!
Better yet.. send your wife down there to give them hell.
I know that at my school the staff is way afraid of any angry woman so she will usually get her way.
Hahaha.
The punishment should be equal…because fighting is fighting. Regardless of whether it’s pushing or punching.
I hate how schools fail to deal with bullying properly.
They are two different things. You can push someone making them fall and land on a hard object causing head injury or death,so in some ways its worse. And the act of falling itself increases the force and speed. You would have to punch someone in just the right spot and with enough force to cause injury or death.
It is different. Punching is pushing with a lot more force.
But, good for your son! He stood up for himself and the other kid may have second thoughts next time about “pushing” him.
Sounds like the shit my brother and I always got into in Jr. High. We both had to change schools.
” In my high school, you got suspended for fighting even if you didn’t
hit the person back. ed.”
A classic case of idiotic, and very common, school rules. What is the result of this? If someone hits you, you are already in trouble, so beat the hell out of them and earn your punishment. If you are going to do the time, you might as well enjoy the crime.
When I was in high school we had this rule and everyone knew to go out fighting. You were already suspended, at least make the other guy bleed, for getting you in trouble
Yes it is.
I’d take it to the Education Board telling them the principal is incompetent.
hey i think its retarded violence is violence your son was bein repetadly bullied im against fighting but im sick of this pacifist idea of not fighting thats how i was raised and i understand it but it was hard one day i was attacked by a kid who repeatedly bullied me after being shoved and swung at i finally reacted and swung back ONE time and cuz of how i have been raised i pulled it so i didnt even hit him properly and the ass principle tried to suspend me for three days because of this zero tolerance crap and i was in his office with THREE ice pack and the other kid was just fine thankfully the principle saw me and intervened but the american system of zero tolerance for fighting is retarded a kid pushes you and you get suspended for it and i think it actually encourages fighting because if the kid just swings at you and you get suspended you might aswell beat the crap out of him since your already being suspended i now live in africa (kenya to be exact) and am a senior in highschool and we almost never have fights but when one happens its nothing the two guys are called up the principle mediates reconciliations and gives a minor punishment and life goes on i have gone to school here for over a year and a half and there have only been 2 fights both minor the ass principle needs to get his head out of his but and implement a real system to minimise fights and bullying and screw zero tolerance
There’s a saying that goes around my school. The kid who gets kicked out is the one that usually wins the fight….or the other way around, I don’t remember. Well, point is, school administrators have stupid punishments and that other kid probably only got a few days detention.
Pushing is NOT different from punching…not in this situation.
At their age, yes there’s probably a difference. The school must have a pretty strict policy on fighting for a 3-day suspension… wow!
pushing can be played off as an accident but punching not so much…
I think kids push on the playground. That happens.
Punching is more extreme. I can see why that would be taken more seriously.
However, a fight is a fight. It takes 2 people to have a fight, so both should either be punished or not punished at all.
Yes,
But pushing is ASKING to be punched!
Pushing is not as powerful as punching and can’t usually hurt someone. Punching is the impact of the knuckles against the other person, obviously a lot more dangerous.
The school is being arbitrary in its punishment. Even if the other kid only “pushed” your son, he still instigated it. Even if your son was the first to lash out, there wouldn’t have been a fight without the other kid. They should both be suspended.
if the kid was pushing hima round trying to start a fight he deserves the same punishment. that’s ridiculous that the other kid didn’t get suspended as well.
According to the law, pushing is considered a form of assault. If the other kid pushed your kid first, he was assaulted. Plain and simple. I never understood why schools freak out about a kid defending himself. “Don’t hit back and get an adult”. It’s kind of hard to do that when you have someone beating your face in and on top of that your whole class sitting there watching.
Where were the adults while your kid was getting pushed around. How were the kids unsupervised long enough for them to break out into a fight?
yes, it’s different. But if two kids get in a fight you don’t break down the fight and tally how many pushes/punches/kicks/etc each kid threw and punish them accordingly. Both kids were in the fight, thus both kids should get the same punishment.
Also, I think the guy who started the fight should recieve equal punishment as who finished it. Just cuz your kid WON doesn’t mean he should be punished more harshly. Fighting is fighting. It takes 2.
That is really frustrating. If they were as observant as they claimed to be, they should know that your son has been dealing with a long history of bullying and being pushed around. A person can only deal with so much before they start pushing or hitting back.
Someone is beating up your kid?? Get those parents and slap them with a big ugly letter from your attorney, threatening legal action. Merry Christmas bastards! I guarantee you the bullying will stop when the parents are faced with a second mortgage on their crappy house.
Not necessarily; you could push someone into something that could hurt them a lot more than punching them would.
Outside of the school pushing is different that punching. Within the school life it is the same… at least it is in the eyes of most schools… it is a form of physical violence and is punished as such. Your son’s school is being unfair, in my opinion, which is based upon my children attending so many different school districts due to us having to move so much.
If the other kid started it he deserved a little “schooling”
While punching is generally more injurious than pushing, pushing can just as bad…say, falling and cracking his/her head against the floor or against the wall. There is a zero tolerance for fighting in schools these days…hence ZERO TOLERANCE
Good for you teaching your child to stand up for himself. However, in the eyes of most all schools this is bad parenting. In the eyes of most all schools in America children who get picked on, ridiculed, or even beat up are supposed to just tell teachers when it happens. Those teachers in turn preach the “ignore them” mantra. The picked on kids get even more picked on for being snitches. Pretty soon these picked on kids just snap. That’s when you get kids bringing knives and guns to school. I lived through this when I was in school. Unfortunately two out of three of my children are going through it as well.
pushing =/= punching
Also, teach your son not to punch in front of the principal.
I think that fighting is fighting, and that if that kid started the fight, then he should pay the consequences. This happened to my brother when he was in HS. The situation was actually very very similar. They both got the same punishment.
They were both involved in the fight. They both should be reprimanded for the same thing.
Gosh Dan I feel your anguish and would have been pissed. Obviously, the other
kids perpetrated this and they should have at least been punished. I am kind of hoping that you had in the past conferred with school staff regarding your son and the problems he might have been having. There would have been a record on file.
I had a litttle problem when my daughter was in high school (marching band) and i took everyone of those kids down and their parents. It immediately stopped. Plus, where we are at they usually suspend every party involved when it gets physical – punching, pushing, etc.
I have to push my timid, little, guy (12) to stick up for himself and everyday that i drop him off at school i say the same thing, “dont let anyone mess with you or touch you. and stay away from the little assholes.”
Well Dan, looks like you’ve turned your son into a bully!
According to a field trip at colonial Williamsburg, there was a time in our country, when one could be put in the stocks for gossip but for a bar brawl, the black eye or broken tooth from the encounter were punishment enough.
if your son didn’t punch first the other kid might’ve and your son would bear the black eye which usually takes longer to heal than 3 days… those xmas this year would’ve looked smashing!
in any case they BOTH were fighting so BOTH should have the same punishment.
first of all i applaud your values. and i am proud of your son wherever he is. have do some more push ups and some more tricep/bicep curls. he’d develop a sick punch then.
as to the issue…. when coming to martial arts… there is really no difference. both are acts of provocation. and they both can do a similar amount of damage when applied properly. however when kids are still in there teens it comes down to this…. one is bluffs the other actually gets the message across.
(does your kid do martial arts by any chance?)
They’re different acts, but they’re both fighting. I might be inclined to punish more for punching than shoving.
Man this kind of bullshit is only encouraging the bullies. I think if two kids are in a fight, both should be punished the same way. Suspend them both, otherwise they’ll just instigate by pushing because the person they want to fight just gets punished instead.
And I don’t agree with fighting personally, but I need to give your son huge props for standing up for himself and punching that other kid out! That takes a lot of courage and balls, good for him
“Ah, does it matter? Now the other kids know to leave him alone”
bullstuff. the other kid now knows he has carte blanche to mess with him, the adults will take his side, they have already proven it. how do i know? i went through the same thing for 13 years of school k-12. if he really wants to send a message “stop bothering me” he has to do some SERIOUS bodily harm or at least make it a legitimate threat. i didnt run out of bullies until i convinced them i would litterally kill them if they persisted. it aint pretty, but it worked, and its the only thing that did. i say tell him next time to break something, a finger, an arm, maybe a nose. yeah he will get kicked out of school again but the kid in the cast will have a longer term reminder that bullying can have ramifications.
Between kids, it’s the same thing. Both lead to all-out-fighting.
I remember in middle school up through High school, in Denison, if you got into a fight – if you were even just trying to defend yourself, you got arrested, too.
you need to go to that school and kick some ass of the assistant principal. That sucks!
When I was working at an afterschool program, I seperated two kids that were fighting. through the use of my favorite translator (an 8 year old girl that knew 3 languages) I asked who started the fight. One kid pointed at the other one and said (in spanish) “he started it when he hit me back”
That is what happened to your son. Your kid started it when he fought back. everything was fine while he was getting beat up, but the minute he fought back he started the fight.
Wow, that is a stupid assistant principal. They were both fighting, they both deserved to be punished. It’s not a matter of witnessing what happened and figuring out who did what. It’s the matter of doing something that is against school rules. Punishing whoever started it is just another way of looking at who is right or wrong. It is simply opinionated and should not be enforced by a school official.
Strange how it all works, doesn’t it…having to find yourself at the bottom of the pecking order because you’re timid, shy or sensitive. Even bullied as a child, fighting was strictly verboten with me as a kid thanks to my mom and my dad was forced to give lip service. It took one summer with my grandfather to change all that. An ex-WW2 marine with over seven beach landings under his belt, he was his battalion lightweight boxer. As the last days of summer neared, he sort of sensed a sudden despondency on my part and asked what was wrong (another year of beling bullied). After I told him, he took me into the barn, hooked up his old body bag and taught me a few moves and about the philosophy of fear and pain and the nature of bullies.
Sure enough, I was walking home from school along an old footpath through the woods when the same bullies from the previous year popped up. When it looked like I had no choice, that my beating was about to start, I went after the largest one (Billy was his name). I cleaned house that day, and even though I triumphed, I felt like shit. I remember me sobbing and shaking like a leaf…mad and angry as hell I had to do this. I was an introspective and sensitive child then (read nerd) and I like to think a part of me died that day.
Some of us do nothing and let these a-holes define out lives while some act. Sometimes to act is to accept the consequences.
Aaah, that is the one thing I like about our school’s zero tolerance policy: it leaves no room for what might have happened before we as adults walked up on the fight. Thus, we can’t misinterpret anything. Both kids fight = both kids suspended for three days and in AC after that.
yes, pushing is usually open palmed and shoving away from you. punching is usually a closed fist, justttt trying to beat them up.
it’s different, but the punishment shouldn’t be too different. the other boy should be suspended too at the very least. but unfortunately it’s rarely the kid who starts the fight who gets in trouble, it’s the one who reacts.
Both are insulting. But punching hurts more.
Fighting is fighting. Both kids should get the same punishment.
Legally, they are both the same.
Should of taught your kid to go to the authorities. Unless he’s getting the ever living crap beat out of him, then I say it’s fair to fight only untill the other party stops.
It shouldn’t matter if it’s different or not. It’s apparent that both sides were involved in the fight; it wasn’t just one kid beating up the other. The principal even stated, according to you, that it was a fight. Thus, both involved should be punished in the same manner.
What I think is it is a sin what kids learn about adults in school. I mean beauracracy doesn’t love ANYBODY. they learn to be machines, or good line workers….which, BTW, is what our schools were originally devised for.
But for helping human children become loving, responsible adults…..God and their Parents PLEASE help them.
They are nuts. GOD BLESS YOUR KID! PLEASE TELL HIM
AT my school, you get in trouble for defending yourself. If the kid punchs you and you punch back, you get in trouble. There was a fight one time where this kid, (Kid A) had been pickin on this other kid (Kid B) for weeks, and Kid B. just took it. Well, finally, Kid A pushed Kid B up against the wall and kinds pinned him, so Kid B pucnhed back and beat the crap outa Kid A.
You’d think that both kids would get in trouble, becasue technically Kid A had it coming to him, and Kid A started it. But, because Kid B pucnhed back, he was suspended for 10 days. He had straight A’s, and was pretty much a perfect kid. Kid A had been in trouble all the time with drugs and all this other stuff, and all he got was In School Suspension for a few days, basically nothing, becasue he wasn’t throwing any punches. I thought that was so irritating!
I think pushing should be punished the same as punching. I fthere was no pushing, there prbbly would have been no punching, so the person pushing is just as much in the wrong as the person defending themselves. If theres a fight, both should be punished equally, I think.
Good job for him. My mom told me when my brother was picked on, she sent him to judo and my brother kicked the ass in the jaw and knocked him on the floor. This was years ago though, he didn’t get punished because he was defending himself. These days ANYTHING you do could mean punishment. Hell, one girl got in trouble when two boys were kicking her and she took her earing off so she wouldn’t get hurt more. They said it meant she meant she was going to fight? What the hell is going on? I don’t know what the principals are thinking, but I refuse to put my child through public school if the ones in charge can’t think fairly.
I’m a middle school teacher. I think pushing is worse, because that person is the one in-sighting the rage/fighting. My assistant principal would probably give both boys an equal punishment. That principal sounds like he is not used to dealing with bullying. Have you spoken with him about the fact that your son gets bullied quite frequently? My district has a zero tolerance rule in place for bullying, in fact bullying is worse than fighting and the punishment is worse. Seems to me, that the first boy was bullying your son. You need to tell the administrator that. Your son should not have punched back, but frankly if it was deserved, I might have punched too
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pushing where?
If I push someone into the street, it’s far more potentially lethal then a mere punch. . .
if I push someone into glass it could be very bad. . .
i hate it when schools suspend a kid for protecting himself. it’s stupid.
NOT when it is at school and there is punishment involved.
Yeah there is but when its done is school both students should be punished equally just for fighting. There should be no room for it in schools.
To “push” someone is still an act of agression.
> The principal in question may hold to Robt. Heinlein’s ‘Fair Witness’ principle, as in, “I saw only one person’s action, i.e. the punch, but didn’t see any provocative actions by the other party”, more or less…. Even though we all know, almost by instinct or experience, that every action has an equal, or maybe better than equal, or opposite reaction. Most school authorities are political animals, as sometimes happens, and is bucking for placement somewhere ‘higher up’. I don’t advocate violence, as I once did, as it can have very unexpected consequences, as in unexpected termination of anothers existance. I do however applaud your council to your son, because sometimes the bully/idiot requires alittle lesson of ‘don’t tread on me’. Sometimes words are just not enough.
Peace where possible
I’m glad to worked with your kid. One has to learn to stand up for themselves. Maybe a little more work and teach the next step… Instead of a punch make it a knockout punch and make it worth it !
(I’m smiling)
I”M GLAD YOU….
Violence is violence, and it’s a jackass move of the assistant principal to say otherwise.