January 22, 2008
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Heath Ledger
Heath Ledger was found dead in a downtown Manhattan apartment.
I received this message from Saphira07:
“One of my friends went off on a rant down talking Heath Ledger and his movies, and whining that people were upset about it. Now, I don’t necessarily care about the guy(or most famous people in general), but I still think it’s respectful not to say nasty things about someone who just died- whether I knew them personally or not.”
Do you think it is disrespectful to say negative things about someone who had died?
Comments (119)
If you can’t speak honestly of your opinions after someone dies then when the hell can you?
I think its a BIT disrepectful. At least save it for when the body’s cold & buried!!
In Heath Ledger’s case, it’s sad. He left behind a very young child – one who will never know her daddy other than the movies and his speculative suicide…
It’s kind of in bad taste to speak Ill of the dead, especially when they just died.
If you can’t speak honestly of your opinions after someone dies then when the hell can you?mrcolorful
^I can see where you are coming from;however,you should however be respectful of the grieving family.
Well, it seems disrespectful to walk around trashing anyone. Being honest is fine, but there’s no need for disrespect.
And as for the dead:
It’s pretty safe to say negative things about them, I suppose.
But on the other hand, it’s not very sporting because they can’t fight back?
Yes I think thats rude. My friend and I were at the gym when it came on CNN and he made fun of me because I was so bummed. I had seen Heath and Michelle in Brooklyn several times and they waved to me, so besides the fact that he was one of my favorite actors, it made me even sadder. My gym buddy said I was dumb.
I feel so bad for his family.
Opps,i said however twice.
I also feel bad that his little girl will grow up with out her dad.
*can’t fight back.
Beg your pardon!
Yes, most definitely.
not any more disrespectful than it is to say bad things about someone who is alive.
That all depends on who they were and what they did in life.
typically yes. It is tradition…
Yes. It is disrespectful.
Plus, if someone feels bad about that person’s death, even if it’s just a favorite celebrity, it is even more disrespectful to speak negatively about that person in front of the grieving person.
No. Who the fuck cares? The dead guy certainly doesn’t.
It’s probably pretty insensitive to go mouthing off to his close friends/family, but on Dan’s xanga? Go at it.
yeah, I think that’s quite rude
That is just plain tactless. As much as you disliked a person, there is someone else out there who did care for him/her and the death of that person brings much sorrow and agony to their lives. So for one to speak negatively about a person who has passed or rejoicing while someone else is mourning is just simply poor taste.
Why would I badmouth Heath Ledger?
WHAT THE??? Really? How sad. He’s so young.
And people are rude! BOO TO RUDE PEOPLE!
For the most part yes.
I think it’s kind of rude RIGHT after they’ve died..
It’s disrespectful to speak negatively of anyone, dead or alive. The way people seem to be approaching his death is upsetting. Seems like the more we “know” about the celebrities, the less we seem to care about their well-being. They are people, let’s not forget that.
it’s disrespectful to do it when they’re alive too.. so YEAH!
At least keep it to yourself..
In most cases, absolutely. It’s tactless. You can bite your tongue and wait til the loss isn’t so new.
However, if you’re going to talk badly about the deceased, at least say it to someone who doesn’t give a crap about them anyhow, not to family or someone who will likely take offence.
it depends on the context. With people you don’t know, of course not. However, with people you know, staying honest about your feelings is important to grieve properly.
When a friend of mine committed suicide 4 years ago, one of the things I said about him was that he was a “story topper”…. he always had to top your story. It was an honest moment, because I had told him a story to teach him the importance of valuing yourself in your relationships with others. He just topped the story and didn’t listen. Soon after, when his girlfriend broke up with him and wouldn’t take him back because of his co-dependent ways, he decided his life was worthless and killed himself. I know I told him an important life lesson, however, I also know he didn’t listen because he had to top the story. I showed him the door, but he didn’t walk through.
to clarify… people you don’t know, it is rude.
Nothing is sacred!
On the internet? Indulge. You would never say this in person. We all feel this way. I have in common with you that either of us would admit.
Sure nasty things about dead people here!
I’m just like you.
We all are.
Isn’t that the worst part of it?
I think that it’s kind of disrespectful, but if you’re going to do it, then for crying out loud, don’t do it around someone who cared for the person. That’s complete disrespect for those who are suffering.
I think it’s very disrespectful to speak ill of the dead … Even if you didn’t like the person, you can at least wait a while after their death before saying anything negative (if you MUST say something negative at all!)
oh wow. I just posted about him on my blog.
well, it’s disrespectful either way, but this close to a death, it’s just insensitive.
I admit I don’t care for his movies too much, but since he just died, and I don’t particularly despise him, I wrote as many good things as I could.
Nah, not any more than if they were alive.
I really liked Heath though =[ I am saddened by his passing.
I think it is bad taste but you always have those that don’t care what other think
Better than linking the decease.
It is disrespectful. I am sad for his family and that little 2 yr old girl will grow up without her daddy. I hope it was an accident.
It’s disrespectful RIGHT after the death, but then I think after a while it’s okay. As long as you are being honest, and not just being mean. I mean, we talk negatively about Hitler and he’s dead.
Yes, it is disrespectful, especially when they JUST died.
Yes…the dead should be respected. But I still think it’s okay to tell any opinion about them. Such as: I’m very sad the man wasted his life on empty things like drugs…when he had a wife and a baby. If he was in Christ, he could have been fulfilled. What a waste of a beautiful man.
But, his movies did suck!
You know… If you can’t say anything nice… zip your lip.. That’s a good rule if the person is dead or alive.
@theScalesandtheScorpion - oh my gosh, I HATE story topping. How awful your friend decided to kill himself. I am sorry for that.
Anyone that badmouths Heath Ledger probably just didn’t like the subject matter of Brokeback Mountain.
In general you shouldn’t go on a mean rant about how much you hate someone right after they die. If you don’t have the courage to say what you think while they are alive; you don’t have the right to say it when they are dead, especially when that person cannot defend themselves.
I mean, that goes for people you are at least acquainted with.
As far as celebrities go, unless this person was a hoebag like Paris Hilton or some fascist dictator you shouldn’t rag on them on the occasion of their death, it just shows that you are unsympathetic.
what about this, when i first heard that he died i first thought, “i hope he finished batman before he kicked the bucket.”
is it ok to care that someone died for selfish reasons?
No.
Heath Died.
And nothing of importance was lost.
He probably OD.
I think it is disrespectful.. but at the same time some people become such a hype when they die.. and sometimes thats unnecessary too.
none of my comment is about heath ledger though. I think its sad that he died.
I think that it’s better not done while the death is still recent in case you hurt someone who is grieving or cares in some way about that person’s death. It’s more about not causing the living any more pain than about giving ‘respect’ to someone who’s dead and doesn’t care anymore.
Man, you say what you need to. Death is nothing special.
Of course its disrespectful. The people who do that need a nice hard punch in the face XD
@porcupinesol - AAAAMMEEENNN!!! Amen! You took the words out of my mouth!
Typically, yeah, it’s just not kind to the surviving family. I hope that those closest to him can walk away with something gained.
@California_Gal - Can’t agree more.
No, it isnt. I think it is stupid to talk about how good a person is when they aren’t that good. I heard enough of it in funerals that make me want to throw up.
Just wait until the death isn’t breaking news.
For the most part, yes. But it always DEPENDS.
Actually, the more I think of it, yes, it is always a bad thing to speak ill of the dead. Even “bad people”….like when Saddam Hussien was killed…I’m not say HE deserves respect, but he is still a human being. No matter what, it’s best just to be quiet if you have nothing good to say.
not necessarily
Yes, it’s disrespectful to say negative things about people – alive or dead!
Well, the annoyance comes from the extreme grievers. I was expecting an entry like this to be posted as soon as I heard this news.
yes, if you didn’t know them.
No, I mean, right after VT I was already making jokes about it. Hell, my friend dressed up as a VT victim for a halloween party. If someone’s dead, it’s not like what you say is going to effect their lives in any way, they’re dead.
I think it depends on how well you knew the person. If you didn’t know someone at all (as is the case wiyth any famous person that dies) you shouldn’t speak ill of them. You don’t know anything about them except the persona they put out there. You don’t know what kind of a person they were or how they treated others or anything really. Just don’t do it.
Feel free to talk crap about their movies/music/whatever because that isn’t them, it’s a collaborative effort that was put out to the public with the anticipation of critique.
However, if you do know someone, and they were a bad person, them dying doesn’t change who they were in life. I know some shitty people who have died. Just because they’re not among us any more does not change that. I wouldn’t talk about it amongst people who did not know them/you do not really know, because that’s rude. But you don’t have to pretend someone was an amazing person just for the fact that they’re dead now. We all die someday. If you don’t want people to speak ill of you once you’re gone be someone worth remembering fondly while you’re still here.
I definitely think it is rude to talk bad about someone that has just died. It doesn’t matter you opinion on the person but you are supposed to be celebrating their life not degrading it.
Yeah.
I’m kind of sad about it, he was so young… & hot (I think).
I’m happy they finished the second new Batman before he died, though. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to cancel that Batman party I was going to throw after I bought it on DVD.
Well, yes it is disrespectful to say bad things about people, whether they’re living or dead… some people have it coming though, but Heath Ledger isn’t one of them. May he rest in peace.
I kind of do think so. I’m actually very shocked by Heath’s death.
You can bash their movies all you want, but seriously, just respect the person. Jeez. It’s not like Ledger was Hitler or something.
I’m shocked about it as well = just a few days ago I was wondering what would happen if a movie star died.
no
ryc: Thanks for the optimism
.
Depends who it is that died. But even so, every person deserves a bit of respect. Plus, why would a person say negative things about someone who is already dead? Their reputation would no longer matter anyways. What would be the point of that?
it can be, in this case i would be definately, but say a slaver, someone who profits from human suffering and missery. the type of person that would accept money from a stranger to let that stranger rape an innocent woman he was holding against her will. anyone who wouldnt talk bad about that person after they are dead and do a dance of joy is someone who doesnt deserve respect themselves.
in short, in every case it’s disrespectful, some people dont deserve that respect, most do. i would say that in the case of heath ledger that was wrong. espescially if the judgement is so shallow as to be based on not liking his movies or his looks.
Yes, it most certainly is in bad taste. Feel free to have you opinions, but have the courtesy to voice them after those remaining have grieved a bit.
It’s rude, but only to relatives and friends of the deceased who are focusing on remembering the joys of their life. The dead don’t care.
-David
It’s only appropriate when they are right wing neo nazi fur wearing peegs.
When we’re dead, we’re all the same.
No more so than saying such things when he was alive. And now that he’s dead, he hardly cares…I hope when I die that people with shit to say about me just say it if they want to.
It isn’t wise to speak ill of the dead.
I don’t think I’d bad mouth Heath Ledger. I respected him for being a great actor, and I feel bad that his life was lost at such a young age. I think it is disrespectful to speak ill of people when they just died. He had a lot of great accomplishments, why focus on the negative?
I think it’s worse that your friend’s friend “whined about people being upset about it.” You have the right to your own opinion about the deceased, but no one has the right to judge the legitimacy of someone else’s grief, especially right after death when emotions are strongest.
YES
I still don’t like Hitler
It’s just insensitive. Obviously, I did not know him nor did any of my friends, but I cant help but be a little sad about it. It was the main discussion at dinner tonight because, to most of my friends, he was our first teenage crush when 10 Things I Hate About You and The Patriot came out. While he had varrying quality of movies does not give anyone the right to bad talk him around people that did admire him or was his fan.
Yes.
Yes. Especially when it’s only human nature to respect and value a person more after they have passed on. Which is why eulogies are said at funerals – to honour the person. Not bitch about them.
And in most cases, when a person dies, it makes you regret all the bad things you said about them.
I was (and still am) really bummed when I heard about this. It’s hard, you know? It’s someone that you admire, whether on a personal level or not, and they’re suddenly gone. I feel sort of silly, but I’m actually upset.
@theScalesandtheScorpion - nice response
porcupinesol said – not any more disrespectful than it is to say bad things about someone who is alive.
quoted for truth.
Personally, I don’t like to speak ill of the recently departed until after a certain grace period.
Its wrong you can discuss it all day but deep down inside you know its wrong, death is the cruilest joke of all
Perhaps you could give the news a day or 2 before going off on him.
I feel so bad for his daughter, losing her dad so early. =(
I don’t think it’s disrespectful, no. He’s dead. He doesn’t care. As long as you’re not going off on him in the face of his friends and family, it’s fine to state your opinion. As for waiting a day, or two days, or a week … what for? He’s still going to be just as dead then as he is now.
God bless us all. I don’t get it…he really didn’t impact me….but then….thats just me. hoep the impact was meaningful. sorry for him, whoever he was
Wow, he is really dead? That’s very sad!
Yes! If not for the deceased’s sake, then for the people that are grieving!
I’m not on the up and up with celebrities and whatnot, but I was sad about Heath Ledger because he was so young! We should have been hearing his name associated with movies and red carpets for yeras.
What purpose is served by people speaking poorly about those who have died?
yes
He just died yesterday FFS.
Now isn’t the time to talk crap.
Yes- it is disrespectful, especially to the people [that cared about that person] that are still here. It’s just not necessary to do that to someone…Nothing good will come from it.
I think if you died of a drug overdose people should be allowed to call you stupid.
Yes and no. There’s a certain lack of panache to verbally shit on a dead guy say, in front of his family or friends… but then again, he’s dead, what does he care?
I think it’s because people regard death as so taboo. And in the case of a celebrity death, well… there’s going to be a reaction, no matter what. As much as I’d wish it were possible to, you simply can’t group together “celeb death” and “regular joe” death as you did, because people are stupid, and don’t regard it the same way.
What I find more disrespectful than opinions on a person’s death, is the mediatic frenzy around this guy’s demise. There’s already about 1000 Heath Ledger facebook groups about him… I mean, what the hell? Did these people know him? There’s some sort of public outcry like he was everyone’s best friend. Are there that many groups about dead soldiers? That aside, I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve to rest in peace, and to have his talent noted, since he was talented. And it is, of course, unfortunate for his family.
But what I hate is the millions of posers who suddenly react dramatically, for the sake drama and nothing else, like they were this guy’s mother… that’s what I find disgusting, and if I think even the actor himself wouldn’t have wanted his demise to cause such a circus.
Anyway. I wouldn’t talk badly about *him*. He’s dead, bummer. What I’d talk badly about are the stupid people turning him into some sort of messiah on a pedestal. Seriously people, get your priorities straight.
Yes, like everyone always says “Do not speak ill of the dead.” I believe it.
I think it’s rude and improper to speak ill of the dead.
I think its VERY disrespectful to talk bad about someone period! Especially when they have died…I feel bad for his family…and his friends.
Someone mentioned that the only way Heath’s daughter will be able to see him is in his movies. Even sadder that she won’t even be old enough to see most of his movies for several years.
yep.
Guys is my office were laughing and making brokeback mountain jokes. But he is somebody’s son.
And right now his poor mother is watching him plastered all over the news with speculation and inuendo. She’s hearing how he was found nude and all the gory details.
Compassion isn’t reserved just for people who deserve it.
its disrespectful wether theyre alive or dead. its wrong. but you should also respect the dead.
rip heath ledger<3
Absolutely not! And not to mention, what goes around comes around.
Yes it’s disrespectful. I think two rules apply when someone passes: don’t ever celebrate the death of someone, and let go of any negative feelings towards the person — it doesn’t matter anymore.
I have a question, Dan:
If you were an actor starring in an R-rated movie, would you take your kids to the premiere? For the sake of the hypothetical, let’s say these kids are under the age of twelve.
I don’t see why you should change your opinions after someone dies. However, it may be inappropriate to share your thoughts at certain times or in front of certain people.
Sad thing about that boy.
Of course it is. What is wrong with people?
I think it’s despectful that the church who is going around picketing US soldiers’ (also that gay soldier, you blogged about earlier) funerals are planning to also picket Heath Ledger’s funeral because he starred in Brokeback Mountain as a gay man.
And yes, I’m very sad about his death. =(
When I was in high school, someone i knew died, and the kids in one of my classes was talking about it and saying disrespectful about him (they didn’t know him) i told her off and walked out of class. To me it was extremly disrespectful. I understand, they have opinions, and they have the right to say whatever they want, but people need to be respectful of what they’re saying in front of other people.
Oh and I got in trouble for walking out, and the principal told me he agreed with the girl who was talking disrespectful. (he didn’t know the guy who died either). The whole stitutation was very upsetting, and I was amazed at the lack of respect people have.
Doesn’t the Golden Rule apply whether dead or alive?
It’s Tradition… Talk and rant when they’re bad, good or dead…
Famous people are still human beings. Would you say that kind of thing about a neighbor you didn’t particularly like?
Yes, unless they belong to Westboro Baptist Church.
Yes, but more than that, I think it’s disrespectful to Ledger and his family to make a big deal out of his death and everything just because we can - because he was a celebrity and we have access to so much information and he was famous and he could have done more and blah blah blah.
If something like this had happened to the average Joe, would anyone have cared? Would The Post have thrown questions at the girl Joe was currently involved with for not telling the masseuse [sp?] to call 911 immediately? Would we know any of these details at all? Would anyone have even heard of it?
It’s that focus that I think is disrespectful. I’m not saying don’t let us know that he died – he was famous, it was sad, it is always sad to see people lose the battle with whatever is haunting them, and especially sad if there’s any sense than the spotlight on them exaggerated their problems for them. But there’s enough tabloid crap on celebrities who are alive – can’t we leave them alone after they’re dead?
During the funeral yes. Later on, it’s ok.