January 31, 2008
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Mom and Dad
Teachers in the UK are being taught to avoid terms like “mum and dad” in order to avoid “anti-gay bullying in schools.”
Teachers are being instructed to follow certain guidelines:
“Teachers should attempt to avoid assumptions that pupils will have a conventional family background.”
“It goes on to suggest the word ‘parents’ may be more appropriate than ‘mum and dad,’ particularly in letters and emails to the child’s home.”
“When discussing marriage with secondary pupils, teachers should also educate pupils about civil partnerships and gay adoption rights.”
“It states that children who call classmates ‘gay’ should be treated the same as racists as part of a ‘zero tolerance’ crackdown on the use of the word as an insult.”
“Teachers should avoid telling boys to ‘be a man’ or accuse them of behaving like a ‘bunch of women.’” Here is the link: Link
We will focus on the last quote.
Is it wrong to tell a boy to “be a man?”
Comments (135)
Where should I begin….
my play brother HATES this comment. i was not aware of this until i casually said it in conversation….
…..i mean he HATES it ‘be a man’ or ‘man up’
he says who’s to judge what makes someone a real man or if something is manly or not
Ahh? Please. That’s… simply ridiculous (the last quote). Actually, almost all of them are unheard of for me.
There’s a society bound for destruction.
I think he should be told to “be a man”, except if the men around him act like little girls.
I tell my boys that all the time. Grow up and be a man. What mom is going to say.. Grow up and be a girl?
I’m mixed on this. “Be a man” traditionally means to macho up, or be more “manly”, but if you look at it from the angle of “grow up” then its not really bad.
Some people say “Be a man” to be more up front / honest about something, or to take responsibility.
It’s a versatile expression. But I don’t see anything really wrong with it.
I equate it with women telling each other “don’t be a bitch”
So gay is a bad word now? I didn’t know that. Gay people call themselves gay.
I think it’s better if I just leave all of my comments about this to myself. But to answer your question… depends on the boy’s age. I don’t think it’s wrong to tell a 25 year old “boy” to be a man. However, if he’s 6? Yeah, probably.
Only if he’s gay….
No! There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It is a fact that little boys grow up to become men.
No, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Well, it depends on why you’re telling the boy that … But the way I interpret “be a man” is to stop acting childish, be brave, be honest, etc.
RYC:
Yes. It is. But he’s been good to me in the last 2 years. He had a lot of growing up to do.
But she has him totally whipped right now.
It’s wrong to say ‘be a man’ because you’re implying the person you’re speaking to isn’t good enough, or that they’re not allowed to be feminine, etc.
They should stick to the phrase “be more mature, act like an adult.” All in all, gender references suck.
Hogwash. Even GAY MEN can be manly. My roommate who is gay is more manly than any straight man I know. *scoffs*
“Parents” is probably also a better term for those of us who come from blended families, as many of us have more than just Mom and Dad but also have step-dad and other “parental people” in our lives.
At first “be a man” doesn’t sound so bad, except when you think about what it really means– what it says about masculinity, and what it also says about femininity. Perhaps it’s not so outrageous to maybe shift the vocabulary to things like asking them to be mature and responsible, rather than to obey stereotypes that may be insulting.
not AT ALL!!!!!!!
Hell no.
If anything, we need to keep telling these kids to MAN UP, before they turn into a bunch of pansies.
oh my…I’m drawing a blank…I feel like I should be mad or upset…but somehow not surprised…
“parents” is loaded as well, it assumes you have two of them.
“Be a man” depends on the connotation. It can simply mean “grow up,” “take responsibillity” or it can be “men don’t cry and therefore you’re inadequate sissy if you do” and also “traditional male stereotypes are the only acceptable mold for a young boy to grow into.”
I think it’s fair to rethink these things and the subtle messages they carry.
I think I’d much prefer to tell my boys to “be a man” than to fritter around the whole topic. Boys are men, and should be taught to expect to be men…
not severely,of course, it still needs to be age-appropriate
Yes. It’s wrong.
Because a boy is NOT a man.
A boy is a boy!
Everything has a time and place.
Right now–even if he were to mature out of the boy stage it would be to adolescent/teen young adult. . .
NOT man. . .
I mean would we tell a little girl to be a granny? (same thing, father removed)
@Sillysillyme1 -
BE A BIGGER KID.
How bout say that?
Hell no that isn’t wrong.
Yes. I do not think that telling someone (anyone) to “be a man” in the sense of being more “manly,” is a constructive thing to say.
@WiLD4SURFiNG - Yes, I agree that some gay men can be and are manly. But not all of them are (I, for example, am decidedly un-manly).
I think we should avoid suggesting that gender stereotypes are the “right” way to act/be. People should be free to act however they naturally act; no one should be forced to assume a specific role due to their gender.
@papercup_alibi - I also agree with this – saying “be more mature” and the like is much more effective, and probably conveys the message more accurately anyway.
I am beyond sick of seeing gay issues being compared to race issues. In my mind they are two different and separate issues.
i’m not a homophobe, but I don’t agree with the homosexual lifestyle. All boys should be taught to “be a man.” That’s what they are, after all.
well in my group of peers when someone throws out “be a man” it is usually when a man has been acting girlish in some way. it is not generally appreciated. in fact about as appreciated as “are you wearing your big boy pants today?” therefore i think that teh vernacular uses of this vary and it should probably be the sort of thing that a parent says to a child but perhaps not a teacher.
eh, papercup_alibi makes sense to me. and the whole “parents” thing? isn’t that just as bad? after all, yeah, i grew up awhile with “two mums” but then they broke up, and i only had ONE PARENT. bah, i didn’t know kids that age got offended that easily. or that teachers ever told little boys to “be a man..” as if they know they’re gay at age 8 and just don’t speak up. i hope they are referring to high schoolers or some such, not grade schoolers as the photo implies. meh, idk. whatever.
“Be a man” is one of the most bullshit macho phrases in existence, symptomatic of the common view of “masculinity” as “fear of showing feeling.”
to follow that up with an alternative phrase, why not “be more mature”? and what is to be said to the girls? “be a woman”? does that sound ridiculous when reversed? a tad. so then by implication it would seem that boys are to be men as children but girls are not to be women yet? the reasons to use use this phrase to a child seem to be less and less logical.
@danlang -
*applause*
i could care less about the man thing
i liek the parents idea though
cause there are some kids who lost a parent and they start crying when someone says parents
oh well
I was going to comment but I had too many thoughts racing through my head that I don’t know where to begin.
@danlang - Agree
@squeakysoul - Why are they different issues? It’s hatred of someone for who they are, regardless of anything else. Prejudice is prejudice.
It’s not even disagreeing with someone’s views (like political or religious beliefs). It’s just hating someone for being who they are. Unless you are trying to say its a choice to be gay (which, as has been proven many times, its not)
@Nikolais_apprentice - Actually, that is homophobic. What does “being a man” mean anyway?
Actually that brings me to something else, what is this “gay lifestyle”? The only difference between gay people and straight people, is gay people are attracted to people of the same gender.
That’s it.
Very odd. When I hear “be a man”, I hear “be a grown up”. I hear “be a person of strong character.” I hear “do what is right.” I hear “take a stand.” I hear “protect those weaker than you.” Any society that finds these things to be offensive will shrivel up and die.
That’s just effen ridiculous. Maybe one of the daddies should dress like a mommy.
It’s not that hard to say “parents.”
During my growing up years, my mom will use that line when I want to chicken out of something.
To answer Dan’s question, No, it isn’t. I just wish people stop being so PC about everything. What the world is coming to?
I do agree with everything they are trying to do and the tolerence message they are trying to spread.
But I see nothing wrong with the phrase, “be a man.”
My only question back is Why do we have to pandor to the VERY FEW that want this type behavior excepted and punish those who are living normal lives. Man being a man and woman being a woman, THAT IS NORMAL. On your question though, it depends, you can’t tell a little boy to be a man, he is a little boy. Like Shorty said, yes a 25 year old man that is acting childish needs to be told to be a man. So what is it they want boys to be told “BE A WOMAN” sheesh! I just don’t get it, how the FEW can rule over the MANY ! Makes know since.
@Single4Eternally - It’s not so much political correctness as it is respect I think.
@UnworthyofHisgrace - It’s the connotation of the phrase “be a man” referring to be macho or tough. Whereas “Be mature”, “Grow up”, and the like is better.
No one is saying to tell boys to “Be a woman”, just what I previously stated is probably better.
No, my band teacher always accused the boys of being a bunch of girls, told them that something would separate the boys from the men, and so forth…(I know it sounds silly for a band class). It got them motivated and everyone knew that it was more in good fun than anything else. This teacher was a bit nuts but he had the best band in the city for about 6 years straight on a new program and the best one in the province a few times as well.
The mentioned suggestion is a guideline and not an ironclad rule. It is a suggestion. There is no punishment for teachers who fail to comply or who lets “Be a man slip.”
Seperately, I don’t see how anyone can seriously disagree with the spirit of the piece. The guidline urges for semantic inclusion. Yes: Many of the suggestions are borderline neurotic, but it never hurts to err on the side of caution. There is nothing lost through the avoidance of phrases as “Be a Man.”
Normally “Be a Man” isn’t wrong. In an inclusive environment (classroom with little schoolchildren of various sorts), it could be wrong. On this basis, we have these guidelines.
No, it’s just silly.
“Be an adult” is better.
@UnworthyofHisgrace - My only question back is Why do we have to pandor to the VERY FEW that want this type behavior excepted and punish those who are living normal lives.
A Democracy is majority rule with minority rights. At little cost to the majority, a democracy ought to seek an environment as inclusive as possible.
Also, items and issues are partiuclarily weighty with impressionable school-children. I could go into a race or religion anology, but I’m sure you understand my point.
@Nikolais_apprentice - i’m not a homophobe, but I don’t agree with the homosexual lifestyle. All boys should be taught to “be a man.” That’s what they are, after all.
The issue isn’t the explicit meaning of”Be a man!”, but rather its possible connotations.
@EarthsAzureLight - I was being sacastic you know, I can be sarcastic too
I know what you where saying. The whole thing is just stupid though. The DON’T hurt anyones feelings stuff just chaps my hide. That’s HOW you grow up!
@innerblondness -
I might agree with them myself except that the organisation “Stonewall” has never advocated tolerance for all – they are the group that “outs” homosexuals publicly against their will. That doesn’t say much for their respect for others human rights.
@squeakysoul - I am beyond sick of seeing gay issues being compared to race issues. In my mind they are two different and separate issues.
Ha. The danger of anology, eh? It’s convinent since the two are both civil rights issues (historically or contemporarily). More apt would be a gender-rights or religious-rights comparison?
@huginn - In some cases I don’t see a problem with it, but there are other cases that it’s wrong for EVERYONE to pay for something that only a few want. That’s the main jest I’m getting at!
@seriousbethy - So gay is a bad word now? I didn’t know that. Gay people call themselves gay.
Different English-speaking society holds to slightly different semantic standards. Words here can mean differently in Canada, South Africa, or Australia. Recall that this is England we’re talking about– where “fag” means “ciggerate” and “faggot” means “bundle of sticks.”
@danlang - I agree. It’s really just mean/rude to use gender specification in regards to the actions of another. Not only is it rude to the person you are addressing, but it is insulting to the gender you are using.
@UnworthyofHisgrace - Personally, it does make me cringe when someone says “be a man” in reference to me or someone else being “tough”
@seriousbethy – People use it like a derogatory name. e.g. “You’re a nigger”, “You’re a dyke”, “You’re gay”
i cant wait for the pendulum to swing back toward the MIDDLE!
this nonsence at politically correct*sigh* stuff is just too much they make EVERYTHING too complicated…life is hard enoughgolden rule seems to cover it ….oh RYQi think some one said it here…depends on age… for a 25 yr old yes… for a 6 yr old no…i think the phrase ” be mature” … or ” grow up” would suffice when talking to the 25 yr old
Why? Are gay people not men?
Am I the only one who finds that photo a little creepy?
@Ayliana87 - She isn’t exactly setting a good example by sitting on the desk while teaching is she?
I was about to say, “Oh brother,” but I was afraid that too is deemed politically incorrect.
no.
No it’s not.
@Ayliana87 - Yes, you are the only one.
I think it all depends on how it is said. For example, I sometimes sit my son down when he is concerned about kids bullying him and I will say, “Okay, this maybe be hard, try not let it get to you. Think of the many people who love you for who you are. I tell him to show confidence and show to them you are a man. Be a man!” But, if he was being whiney, I wouldn’t cut him down rudely and say, “be a man!” All depends on body language and the moment.
@PacifismPlease - My son is 19 almost 20. He is past the big kid stage. It’s not like I said that to him when he was 4. Jeesh.
well, it does reinforce the stereotypical gender identity normative paradigm.
plus, it’s just sort of obnoxious.
Sensitive children grow up to be nice guys.
Nice guys ask a bunch of questions and listen. Then they ask more questions.
Nice guys are boring.
Nice guys are much less likely to procreate.
The race of the English will go extinct on this path.
I would teach my son to SEDUCE.
Be a man! Be be a cave man and go take your birthright.
That depends what you mean by “be a man.” Be brave, be honest and honorable, be courteous. Those are all perfectly good things to aspire to. What’s wrong with telling little boys to act like men. That’s what they will grow to be.
Should people be badgered and humilated because of their sexual preference/orientation? No of course not. Makes me cringe just to think of it.
Should we avoid terms like Mom and Dad? Give me a break. This kind of political correctness is a joke. Not only does it completely try to rewrite all of human history of sociology, but it assumes that LGBT people are somehow children and will be “offended” by the terms “Mom” and “Dad”. Do LGBT not have moms and dads?
~IM_R
In all of my VERY unPC years of being the sole jew girl in my catholic school in the third world, i never once heard a nun tell a student to “be a man” or to stop “acting like a bunch of women”
and we even had corporal punishment
maybe that was the difference. when it was time to “man up” we just got beaten
YES!
It implies that he is acting femmine and therefore weak. It is an attack on women.
my play brother HATES this comment. i was not aware of this until i casually said it in conversation….
…..i mean he HATES it ‘be a man’ or ‘man up’ GaMmA_rAyS
Aren’t you a little old to have a play brother? Do you organize your own play dates or do your moms take you to the park and talk while you guys use the jungle gym?
@albertchun - That’s almost exactly what I was going to say.
Dan be a man and quit posting this sappy politically correct junk.
no its perfectly fine for em to like it in the ass.
fags.
nitpicking…
It is kind of wrong that being called manly is a good thing and being called womanly is a bad thing.
It’s just straight up sexism.
And it hurts.
@veronica_lily - great- (or simple-) minds think alike
@MyJudas - who said anything about being called womanly was a bad thing? What about asking girls to act more like ladies?
@lotta_valdez - an attack on women? isn’t that rhetoric a bit strong?
Wow. Some are understandable, but most a sort of ridiculous. Sort of circumstantial. Sometimes, sympathy works well, but boys should be men, eventually.
No, because it’s okay to be ignorant. /sarcasm.
@squeakysoul - I totally agree. Race and sexual preference are two very separate issues.
@firetyger - Why are they? They are both bigotry of how someone is made. Not their opinions.
Therefore implying that homosexuals are not men?
@PacifismPlease - No…you tell them to be a WOMAN or a LADY. Not a granny. No one told the boys to be a Grandpa.
I don’t see a problem with it. Yes, they need to grow up and be mature productive members of society. If the phrase “Be a man” encompasses all of that, I say tell them more often!
@EarthsAzureLight - I guess it would depend on whether or not you believe one is born a homosexual or chooses to be. I have not read any articles showing scientific proof to back that people are born homosexual. So to me, it is a lifestyle choice. Whereas race cannot be a choice.
Be a MAN…. DAN!
@firetyger - You haven’t read any, but there are plenty of them. If you looked with a simple google search, you’d find plenty.
No; in fact, I encourage that phrase. Better to be too much than too little.
Also, since when was being homophobic the same thing as being racist? Since when were gays their own ethnic group?
I teach at the college level, so it’s really up to the individual student as to whether or not they are a “man” or not, but I do know that I have shifted my speaking to say “parent or guardian” rather than parent, mom, or dad. But I started doing this after getting temporary custody of my neice, who constantly suffered through having us called her parents, mom, or dad. I’m just more aware that families come in different shapes and sizes these days. There’s nothing wrong with trying to be inclusive when it comes to children. They really do feel better when you get it right.
Only if you want him to grow up to be a man, versus a woman or a pickle.
This culture of avoidence of insults is really confusing, isn’t it?
’nuff said…
I don’t see anything wrong with it. Let people say what they want, and if it phrase offends the person hearing it, then, and only then, should you say something to substitute what you’d normally say.
People can suck it up.
How about…show a little more maturity…responsibility…gumption.
This is completely hilarious.
Im from the 90s, so, all of these phrases are just blown out of proportion.
I mean, sure, the “N” word’s pretty bad, and gay isn’t a word to be used in the way that it is, but, saying “be a man”?
Be a man, is just a phrase. If its to be taken seriously, why not ban dodgeball? OOPS…
Or, ring-around-the-rosey? That song refers to the black plague, and the massive amount of deaths it caused…
All this stuff about “Oh, I’m offended by anything even remotely referring to sex, homosexuality, and being tough.”
Next thing you know, they’ll be banning certain shows for say those phrases…
OOPS…
If only because there are those who feel very badly when told this, I say yes it is a bad expression that should be changed.
I’m moving to the UK.
not wrong, but possibly PC. and i’m pretty sure that not all gay men are of the effeminate variety…
just a thought.
Yes. I think it gives kids a complex. It’s hurtful to their emotional growth. I would NEVER tell a boy to “be a man”. That encompasses so many stereotypes that I wouldn’t know where to begin.
@EarthsAzureLight - Let me clarify, I have read many different articles on this topic. However, they all come to the same results…inconclusive. Perhaps you could point me in the direction of an article that gives scientific evidence for your position on this topic?
@firetyger - http://www.tim-taylor.com/papers/twin_studies/studies.html
@huginn - No, it’s not the connotations, it IS the explicit meaning. Men have certain qualities that they were created to live up to. Chivalry, strength, loyalty–this is what it means to be a man. Women have different expectations–to be maternal, compassionate, helpful, etc. There are gender roles in society for a reason, and society’s holistic aversion to the idea of homosexuality (remember when it was considered a psychiatric disease? if not, then you need to do your research) is because it is unnatural. Yes, there are crossovers as far as both men and women should be compassionate and loyal, etc, but in different ways. Being a man means fulfilling nature’s role for one.
@EarthsAzureLight - No, that is NOT homophobic and I don’t appreciate people calling me names. I have many homosexual friends–close friends, I might add, with whom I spend a lot of time. I do not agree with their lifestyle. I love my friends. It is the lifestyle. I also have friends who smoke and friends who don’t go to class. It’s the same thing. People and their behaviors are not always inseparable.
What does being a man mean? Ask randomneuralfirings. That says it exactly.
@Nikolais_apprentice - Being gay is not a lifestyle. That is why you are homophobic.
Hm… that depends on the context. Ive seen it used in a rather homophobic context. Like… You gotta play football, be a man… Stop crying and be a man… and even “Be a man and control your woman”
….. that is just not … right.
i’m speechless.
@EarthsAzureLight - How is it not a lifestyle? Are you arguing that it’s genetic? Because that’s a whole new argument. Besides, if I were homophobic, would I have gay friends? No.
@Nikolais_apprentice - You are missing the point that the only difference between gay people and straight people is who they are attracted to. That’s not a lifestyle. That’s like saying people with brown hair and blonde hair have a different lifestyle.
@EarthsAzureLight - There are still far too many holes in that research. There have been twin and child studies conducted attempting to determine if alcoholism is genetic by tracking children who do not live with their biological parents.
“But children are often adopted by relatives or people from the same
social background as the parents. The very social factors related to
placement of a child — particularly ethnicity and social class — are
also related to drinking problems, for example, thus confusing efforts
to separate nature and nurture. A team led by University of California
sociologist Kaye Fillmore, Ph.D., incorporated social data on adoptive
families in the reanalysis of two studies claiming a large genetic
inheritance for alcoholism. Fillmore found that the educational and
economic level of the receiving families had the greater influence,
statistically erasing the genetic contribution from the biological
parents.” (from PsychCentral.com)
I think homosexuality is like that too. It is much more complex then there simply being a “gene” that determines from birth you are gay. Your environment,along with personal choice, are the determining factors of your sexuality.
@firetyger -
Environment plays a role, but someone does not actively try to be attracted to the opposite gender, it doesn’t work like that. Most research points to both nature and nurture influencing it, but it isn’t a conscience choice. There is no research to support that.
@EarthsAzureLight - No, because my blonde hair does not cause me to be attracted to other people with blonde hair. Behaviours are part of a lifestyle. Physical features are unchangeable characteristics. Going on dates with members of a certain sex would be a behavior. Having blonde hair (and doing nothing to change it or otherwise act on the fact that I have blonde hair) is a physical feature. This argument is getting extremely boring and going nowhere.
@Nikolais_apprentice - Going on dates, its a lifestyle. Being attracted to males is not a lifestyle.
What you are basically saying, you don’t have a problem with them going on dates, but the fact they are gay bothers you, because the dating wouldn’t bother you if they were straight.
How utterly ridiculous. Political correctness gone mad. If a child has gay parents, the child is perfectly entitled to correct someone who makes a different assumption. Everyday we make assumptions based on knowledge and experience. Its how the brain works. Its natural to assume a child has two parents, one male, one female. If that isnt the case its an honest mistake and the child can correct it. Easy. Its not right to force people to be so cautious and vigilant in dealing with others. As long as people are polite and respectfull, I dont see the problem.
@EarthsAzureLight - When I said being gay is a lifestyle choice, I didn’t mean you actively pursue it (although who knows, maybe someone out there does). I meant it in the sense that love is a choice. You can lust or have feelings of strong passion for anything. Men, women, animals, objects, etc. Just check out the porn industry, there are some pretty strange things out there. But when those appetites fade, you’re left with a choice. You have to choose to love someone when you no longer feel the lustful-passionate-blinded-obsession sort of feelings that you felt at first. And how you make your choices, what you think, what you believe about love…it is all heavily shaped by the environment you come from – experiences you have, and things you learn first-hand. Now, that doesn’t mean you will believe exactly as your parents do, or think completely like they do. But your environment as a whole – family, friends, school, authority figures, socioeconomic status, location, etc. – are what you draw from while developing behaviors and attitudes.
I cannot express how much I agree with all of this.
In addition to being wonderfully open-minded about the LGBT community and their children, you are also avoiding unpleasant situations when you say, “Oh, make sure your mother signs this or brings this in,” and the child’s parent has passed away.
Also, gay slurs are just as bad as racial slurs, in my opinion. Racism is just an irrational dislike or fear of some race…something that people really cannot control or change. The same goes for sexual orientations. I mean, sure, people have claimed to have been “saved from the gay lifestyle”, but can you honestly tell me that you don’t still like men or women?
Anyway, sorry for the rant. That’s how I feel about the matter.
Oh, PS, telling the child to be a man is pretty sexist. Show me the teacher who will take a crying little girl and tell her to be a woman. What?
Sorry for triple posting, haha. But I wanted to say something about the genetic argument.
What about when more than one sibling in a family is gay? I’m inclined to think that would be genetic, but I can also see why one might think that it’s part of the whole nature vs. nurture thing.
Do you think if you choose to live your life in an antithetical manner to society, you ought to be prepared to overlook some of the traditions YOU’RE choosing to break? If you’re strong enough to live outside the norm, you ought to be strong enough to not be offended when someone uses “normal” phrases.
@EarthsAzureLight - But what people do about the attraction is the lifestyle. I’m done arguing. The stupidity of it all is both frustrating and boring. Basically, political correctness is rampant and interferes with art, free speech, and efficient function of society.
OMG. Named our 2nd for Samuel in the Bible. Were studying that at the time, and so inspired by the Biblical view of a society founded by God. Judges. No laws, or few. Very very rare for issues to a judge, because EACH man was his OWN judge. righteousness is a prerequisite for great society.
FREEDOM seems a prerequisite to many things….so grateful for USA and FL that allowed us to homeschool for 14 years. My kids are all top of the class, great universities etc. doing very well. One commented how he feels his education lagged when he went to university. Ahhh. they know how to brown nose their mom. but because they had freedom, and learned to be responsible…..they still love learning! praise the Lord!
poor UK. How can they prosper with such tripe? us too, but we also have great options.
Please help keep USA FREE! PARTICIPATE!
oh gawd… let’s stop trying to make our kids so PC… let them learn that in highschool/college… they’re KIDS for chickensoup’s sake!!! holy moly….
if you wanna take out “mum and dad”, don’t bother with “parents”… plural indicates 2… some may not have 2 parents…
hell, take out “parent”, b/c they may have guardians or grandma or grandpa… let’s put down “to whom this child’s welfare may concern”….
look, it’s good trying to be sensitive to the many different types of kids out there, blah blah blah.. but honestly, we need to make the kids more thick skinned, instead of thinner skinned… err, if that makes sense…
let’s not create a world where PC is the rule of law… where people are so afraid to say what they want… the only honesty you’ll get is when a person dies… and you finally figure out who they are…
you talk about gays/lesbians in the closet and how honest they wanna be in the public…reality is… they are the only ones who want to be allowed to be honest..
anyone else’s honesty should be shut up… b/c it might offend them.
everyone should learn a “balance” between thicker skin, sensitivity and enforcement of equality.
in the end, you can’t force someone to behave/believe something they don’t… it just doesn’t work. All you end up with is a society of dishonesty and fear.
Coming from the rural south and having a God-fearing old-school ‘dad,’ ‘being a man’ entailed owning up to yourself with regard to how you treat your fellow man, and later, your wife and children.
Too bad it gets taken out of context.
Nah, kid’s will get over it. What does piss me off is when I’m working at the bakery and a boy wants a butterfly cookie but his parents insist on him choosing something more macho. I just want to tell the parent that the cookie wont make any difference in the long run.
Well, tell me if I’m wrong, but I do believe boys grow up and eventually turn into men…
it’s a stupid phrase
Well, I don’t see how the term “be a man” is constructive to a child. It reminds me of the terrible ways families often used to encourage boys to “be a man” by ignoring their emotions, and not being allowed to cry, etc… and how many sadening problems that has brought upon many young gents these days.
Tst – nothing wrong with sensitivity!!!!!!!!! Nor guys wearing pink, haha. At least they’re confident with their masculinity!
I think it’s really inappropriate, but it shouldn’t be outlawed or anything.
I think that people should just exercise good taste and not say it.
a boy is a man no matter what… regardless of sexual orientation. whether watching NASCAR or America’s Next Top Model he still has a penis between his legs.
Oh, crap, since when did it become a terrible thing to tell a kid to grow up and act like one of his own gender? We need to stop worrying about offending other people with every little thing we say. The freedom of speech was given specifically to protect offensive speech. A healthy environment must allow dissent or those in power will be able to silence and marginalize the rest of the people. remember Nazi Germany and slavery in our own country? Or how about the problems in the Sudan right now? In Germany it was offensive to protect a Jew. In the good ol’ USA it was offensive to stand up for the rights of blacks. In the Sudan it is offensive to stand up for non Muslims, and again in the modern western world it is offensive to say anything against a person who chooses to have sex with soomeone of his (or her) own gender. Here I’ll say it grow up and be a man and revel in vigorous debate instead of crying to momma the first time someone disagrees with you and hurts your feelings.
there is no reason not to be more considerate.
it’s really not that hard to say “parents”.
of course, it is wrong. cause it reinforces gender stereotypes.
I didn’t like that phase. So sexist.