February 20, 2008
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Age of Consent
A teacher is being charged with sexual assault and being accused of having a sexual relationship with one of her students.
Melissa Monroe is 32 years old and is being accused of having a sexual relationship with an 18 year old student. She is also accused of giving the student alcohol. She faces up to 5-20 years in prison. Here is the link: Link
In some states, it is illegal for a teacher to have sex with a student who is 18 years old because they are in a position of authority over the student.
Do you think it should be illegal for a teacher to have sex with an 18 year old student?
Comments (137)
not any much different than a secretary and boss IMO
Yes, and any teacher that would do one of her students is a sicko. I can’t even begin to imagine sleeping with one of my students. Ugh.
No, it shouldn’t be.
Being of age of consent means being old enough to make reasonable decisions and to judge the circumstances. It shouldn’t be illegal for a teacher to date her students. While yes, it is a betrayal of trust, the actual act of sex shouldn’t be illegal. What’s fair, though, is a district-wide or a state-wide policy banning this. Criminal prosecution is ludicrious.
No.
Actually, I agree with huginn.
@Asthma_is_Sexy - So graduate advisors dating her PhD students should face 5-20 years?
But it is still totally sick.
She should be fired not arrested since both are legal of age.. She cross the line in the work force.. Teacher and student relationship are pretty much a no-no.
As for the alcholic part.. That is a different story..
Yes…
@huginn -
Too late, I already changed my answer!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
i agree that its demented for a teacher that age to even crave an eightteen year old… but to be illegal?? not at all… if you are eightteen… you are eightteen… there is no lets make exceptions… because then you have to make exceptions about everything… you are legally able to make your own decisions at that age… it is ludicris that that would be illegal… its the same as inter office dating… and although ive only worked in restaurants… theres always been a server dating a manager… it sucks and its wrong… but it happens… there are no legal issues involved… as this case shouldnt have either…
ehhh, whats the worst that could happen….
I don’t think it should be up for legal prosecution, but if there’s something in her work contract against it, I think the district should be allowed to fire her.
Is it unethical? Yes. But if the student was 18 then he is an adult.
Yes because it is a situation in which one person (the teacher) is in a position of power over the other (the student)… no pun intended.
And I’d be willing to bet that many people’s answers would be different if it was a 32 year-old male teacher sleeping with his 18 year-old female student.
@huginn - I think this may be the first time we agree.
While personally I think the idea of a teacher sleeping with a student is completely wrong, fact is, the student is 18 and a legal adult.
Though, the teacher SHOULD be punished for giving the student alcohol. That’s a clear violation of law. And if the school wants to fire her over it, I think that’s very fair.
But providing the booze is cool. I wish my high school teachers had given me alcohol…
Yes. This is an exploitive and extremely inappropriate situation. Particularly in a high school. 18 has nothing to do with it. You don’t magically become an adult at 18, nor does the age make the conduct any more inappropriate and abusive of the position of teacher.
eh whatever. he’s eighteen shes i dunno.. thirties. it happens.
@stud_treble - I would feel the same way if it was an 32 year old man and an 18 year old girl. Its not ethical, but it shouldn’t be illegal.
She should lose her job but not be prosecuted for the sex. The alcohol is illegal and she should be prosecuted for that though.
But seriously, how evil is it put someone away for 5-20 years and label them a sex offender for sleeping with someone who is old enough to consent to have sex, vote, and go to war?
I can understand criminal charges for providing alcohol but not the sex if the student is/was 18 at the time. Loss of license, perhaps but not criminal charges.
Depends on the situation. If it’s a teacher in one school and a student in a different school and they’re both consenting, then no. There’s no authority or power relationship to be concerned about, and 18 is legally the age of consent.
However, if the student and teacher are both in the same school, then it should absolutely be illegal. It’s a conflict of interest for the teacher, and it’s a potentially exploitative situation for both of them. Further, it runs the risk of subjecting the student to some really awful peer and internal pressures.
So short answer, yes and no, depending on the situation.
I wish that 1 of my teachers wouldve done that with me at 18 Ms. L you were so hot!! No this is not wrong 18 is 18 no matter what the avenue….!!
Illegal? No probably not.
who are u?
She teaches extra subjects outside the classroom on her own time. That’s devotion.
It is actually different from the situation of a boss and his secretary, or a college professor and a student, because with high school the opportunity to move out from under the teacher’s authority (should the need arise) is much more limited. All three scenarios are problematic as they all introduce inequality into a sexual relationship, but the high school scenario has deeper ethical issues than the others.
ya know, i just found out from my husband that one of his friends in high school got in trouble for sleeping with his girlfriend who was under 18…. he’s no longer allowed to be around her, and now he’s not even allowed to be around his children..
18 is legal for consent, but at the same time there is a concern that she was abusing a position of power :-
good one, Dan.
nah it shouldnt be. her mistake was the alcohol though.
I think since he is 18 it should be considered legal; hwoever, the involvement of alchohol changes the story. She certainly was not his parent/guardian and should know it is illegal for him to have alchohol. also, since the guy is 18 years old I think he should be charged as well if any misconduct is given – because both of them are considered adults at 18 legally so he should be tried like one. I dont think we can put this all on the teacher.
I know of a teacher who was about 30 or 40 (male) and was dating, married, and had a child with one of his former students (18-20 years old). She even had her senior t-shirt on. On one hand it was ironic and seemed wrong but there are tons of people who marry much older or younger people, who am I to judge?
Daniel (doubledb)
Another teacher sleeping with a student case……..jeez. They are everywhere!
The relationship shouldn’t be illegal but it should be discouraged.
The alcohol issue on the other hand is a different story… that’s definitely illegal!
Well – I can understand the issue of being an authority figure and all… but – and 18 year old is old enough to vote in this country. Shouldn’t he or she be old enough to be held responsible for his/her actions, as well?
I don’t know… I think there are points on both sides of this argument…
@huginn - Excellent idea. Totally agree.
@squeakysoul - Eighteen as the age of consent is offered as a moral and legal brightline.
Some young adults become sexually and emotionally mature at sixteen, some at twenty-two. It is unpractical to judge each case seperately by its circumstances. A set age as an age of consent is an objective lower limit for things.
It seems logically inconsistent to me how the circumstances of consentual of-age adult could make it sexual assualt. If it were a teacher forcing himself onto a student, then yes, it is clearly sexual assualt. Butt hat isn’t the case.
Yes, it is inappropriate. It would be going against their job descriptions if high school teachers were hitting on their 18-year-old seniors. Enforcement against such action should come from within the school district or within the state’s. It is a strike against the teacher’s professionally but not him or herself criminally.
@huginn - I think it can be assumed that any young person who would enter into this kind of “relationship” is not someone who has reached any kind of maturity. A mature person would be capable of reasoning that this kind of thing is inappropriate and wrong.
I still think this law should stand. The basis of assault here isn’t really the age, it is the abuse of a position of power. One sensationalized case (that most people seem to be analyzing wrongly anyway) shouldn’t change that.
They charged her with sexual assault which is basically rape. So, it appears they are prosecuting on the sex being of a non-consensual nature.
I wonder if the “victim” feels victimized?
@squeakysoul - I still think this law should stand. The basis of assault here isn’t really the age, it is the abuse of a position of power. One sensationalized case (that most people seem to be analyzing wrongly anyway) shouldn’t change that.
I think your position woudl have to impliciate age.
As a test case I imagined a 50 year-old graduate professor dating his 24 year-old PhD student. Gross, definatly; but I can’t imagine anybody arguing that the scenario screams of sexual assualt.
gross, but do not think it should be illegal. but i think it should apply in the same way universities deal with this situation. you can’t get involved with a STUDENT, but you can if you are not teaching.
Not illegal
No, as long as they’re above the age of consent. I could see where it would be a problem (if the teacher was giving the student a better grade, etc…there’s a term for this, but I forget what it is…)
**I could see where it would be come a problem (if the teacher was giving the student a better grade, etc…there’s a term for this, but I forget what it is…), but it shouldn’t be illegal.
that’s just gross!
I was thinking… you should’ve named your site, “TheNewsBriefCafe” instead. LOL
@huginn -
“No, it shouldn’t be.
Being of age of consent means being old enough to make reasonable
decisions and to judge the circumstances. It shouldn’t be illegal for a
teacher to date her students. While yes, it is a betrayal of trust, the
actual act of sex shouldn’t be illegal. What’s fair, though, is a
district-wide or a state-wide policy banning this. Criminal prosecution
is ludicrous.”
I’ll just let you take this one, my friend.
Not illegal, but kind of tacky.
@squeakysoul - What about a 30 year old professor dating a 24 year old Graduate student?
I relate it to intra-office dating. Just not a good idea. They could’ve waited until the guy graduated.
But it also reminds me of a story arc from the show “Boston Public”. A teacher met a woman out in the city and they became romantic. He didn’t find out until later that she was a student at the school where he taught. She was 18. They were caught having sex on school grounds, and I believe that’s what the deal breaker was. Of age or not. That’s not proper work decorum.
An 18 year old is an adult, regardless of their student status.
It shouldn’t be illegal, even if it is morally wrong. There’s a difference.
So, some say it was ok for her to sex-up an 18yr old but don’t give him a beer at the same time? It’s all kind of silly with the exception fo her authority.
@EarthsAzureLight - Wow, we think alike. (Made similar counter-argument for squeaky).
I’m a 24-ish Graduate student. I have a 30-ish professor. And if given the chance, I’d totally date her! (Big brains are cute)
it is certainly UNETHICAL for any teacher to have sex with a student. that’s negligence.
Yes, because being in a position of authority does influence the student into doing something they might not normally…but you do make a point (or rather another comment did) that it could be compared to a secretary getting jiggy with her boss, not quite the same, but there is a similiarity there.
I think she should be fired not arrested as well. If the student were underage then legal action should be taken. I think the country should make the age of sexual consent 18. NOT 16 as it is in most states. When I was 16 I deffinately was not able to make a rational decision reguarding sex. As most young girls are, they think they are in love with everyone they date/kiss…
WTF? Isn’t the student over 18?! Shouldn’t they both be held responsible for their own actions?
Not sure if it is illegal…maybe a moral dilemma for some.
no.
Perfectly fine by me.
No, he’s 18 he can do what he wants.
If the teacher teaches at the students school then yes. It’s nothing to do with age of consent. It’s a breach of trust.
only if the teacher is ugly.
@squeakysoul - ”I think it can be assumed that any young person who would enter into this kind of “relationship” is not someone who has reached any kind of maturity”
I don’t know about that. I know a lot of adults who make very inadvisable decisions about sex and relationships. That doesn’t make them immature enough to not be considered adults.
“I still think this law should stand. The basis of assault here isn’t really the age, it is the abuse of a position of power.”
This arguement suggests that there is no difference with a graduate advisor sleeping with an adult grad student (which I do in fact find to be at least equally wrong- but noone thinks that it should be illegal.) If the problem isn’t the age of the student, she shouldn’t be charged with a sex crime. She should be charged with a crime that better reflects the nature of her transgression.
@huginn - I’ve been tempted to date TAs in the past as an undergrad (3-4 year difference), I don’t think I’d be a victim.
@shellybean99 - Or no crime at all and just be fired. It’s inappropriate for her to do it, but shouldn’t be illegal.
@EarthsAzureLight - Yes, I agree with you completely. In my first comment I said that she shouldn’t be prosecuted. I was just argueing a hypothetical case in my second comment.
Although you really shouldn’t date TA’s. They can get kicked out of grad school for that (depending on how strict the school is, of course.)
Not really. And even if it is, the charges shouldn’t be sexual assault. Harrassment, or something. Whatever you would get if a boss made sexual advances on his employee…. they’re both of legal age, so it shouldn’t be an age of consent problem.
No, I don’t think it should be illegal. I don’t think she should get jail time – unless she threatened the student (like, “If you don’t do this, I’ll flunk you” or something.) Otherwise, if it’s a consensual relationship, I see a moral flaw but not an illegal one. We aren’t here to punish bad morals.
no
It seems the question here is based on the divide in “ought to” and “is”.
Do I think the events that took place should have happened? Short answer no. The longer answer is that individuals have to be responsible for their choices. Though I disagree with 18 year olds having sex at all and that the difference in relationship power (student/teacher) and ages should have acted as deterrents- there is no need to create legislation.
Public school, yes. Private school, not unless they signed a contract stating otherwise.
From my eighteen-year-old point of view, it shouldn’t be illegal. Once you’re considered old enough to vote and to serve in the armed forces, you should be able to love/lust for/make love to any other consenting adult. Also, the drinking age really should be lowered to 18. I’m not just saying that because I like, alcohol, either. It’s unfair that it’s pretty much the only thing an eighteen-year-old can’t do.
I guess it shouldn’t be illegal..
What about the students with teacher fetishes?
NO
Teachers should not be sleeping with their students, no matter how old they are. Breaking that hedge of authority can be very dangerous.
No, it shouldn’t be illegal.
No. It’s akin to a boss-secretary relationship.
Boss-secretary affair, that is.
Of course it should be illegal. Taxpayers paying for the pedophile to get the authority over their lil sex toy.
Seriously…you are SO horny you can’t wait until AFTER graduation?
yes…it’s about of positional power. The child could say they felt under duress and obligated to have relations with their teacher in fear of their grades.
Yes. It should be illegal. Can’t they wait? I had a teacher who actually married a student. She was 18 when she was in his class and he just fell hard for her…and vice versa. He waited until after she graduated to say anything to her. They dated and ended up married. He was quite a bit older than her, but it seemed to work for them. It seems if she (the teacher in the story) really had a thing for a student who was 18, she could control herself for another few months until he graduated.
no. i agree with huginn. besides…they are going to do it anyways if its illegal or not….>.> obviously….
Eighteen is the legal age of consent, so no it should not be illegal, but sleeping with one’s student is certainly poor judgement, and even a conflict of interest. She could loose her position on that basis alone.
Illegal? No. Unethical. yes.
If they are of the age of consent and they choose to engage in sexual relations with another, whether it be with a teacher, a peer, a co-worker or otherwise… it is their choice to do so. At 18 you can buy cigarettes, you can choose to go to war and die for your country. You are considered an adult by the government… and frankly, I think that if you can buy smokes and die for your country… you should be able to legally consume alcohol. I don’t think the woman did anything wrong… the 18 year old was within his rights as a consenting adult… it is unfair to say that the teacher wasn’t.
At the age of 18 an individual is considered to be a “legal” adult. At that age they can buy tobacco products, can donate blood, can get lmarried without parental permission, can vote, and can even join the military and die serving to protect our country. Yet, they have to be age 21 before they can be considered of legal age to buy and drink alcoholic products. What is wrong with this picture? Either lower the drinking age to 18 or raise the “legal” adult age to 21! My point is this, if an individual can do all those things at the age of 18 legally, then who in the hell are we to tell them who they can or can not have sex with… unless they are siblings, in which case incest is just plain WRONG!
@criticalpointofview - I was mature enough to make that decision at 18. I think that most girls get it by then, or don’t get it for a LONG time after that. I haven’t met many 18-year-olds who regretted having sex at 16, and then actually changed and had sex less often at 18.
“Of course it should be illegal. Taxpayers paying for the pedophile to get the authority over their lil sex toy.” RdKingClassic0
Pedophilia is a sexual perversion where children are desired as the sexual object. Do you consider an 18 year old a child? I consider an 18 year old “legally” an adult… they may even be inexperienced in the game of Life… but they are not children in my eyes.
@LadyValkyrie37 - Why is incest wrong? No religious cop-out arguments, and no “just ’cause!”
as long as it is kept quiet and it isnt happening at school or on the school campus it shouldnt matter because the student is 18 and it is there choice off school campus the student is no longer a student but another person.
To quote South Park…..”Nice.”
In the words of the wise detectives- “You’re right, we’re sorry. This is serious. We need to track this
student down, and give him his Luckiest Boy in America medal right away.”
In all seriousness though I don’t think it should be a crime if he’s 18. Like someone else said, that would be like making a law for it to be illegal for a boss to have sex with his secretary. I think it would be wise for the school to have policies prohibiting it, but the state really has no business in the affair.
i’m actually leaning towards no. mostly because if it were any other person the 18 year old would have reached the age of consent that is set by most states and if they can consent with others why not with a teacher. does this law cover an employee-’er relationship as well since many 18 year olds already are employed? i also have some trouble believing that the teachers are the sole initiators in many instances (exception perhaps lies with that teacher and her 6th grader who later married, that was just very young for sexual realtions).
Illegal? No. But she should be fired because it’s unethical job-wise.
@LadyValkyrie37 - The drinking limit is has been artifically raised from 18 due to alcohol’s implications in traffic accidents. Smoking and frolicking in bed are victimless acts– not so with drinking and driving.
Not illegal, but the employer should punish through termination.
@huginn - ” The drinking limit is has been artifically raised from 18 due to
alcohol’s implications in traffic accidents. Smoking and frolicking in
bed are victimless acts– not so with drinking and driving.”
Which can be arguably seen as making the problem worse, since it is not preventing 18 year olds from drinking but can prevent them from asking a parent or other adult to drive them if they have been drinking. U.S. has one of the worst rates of DUI accidents compared to European countries where the drinking age is usually 18 and alcohol is usually more readily available. Though an American over reliance on driving everywhere (due to the the rise of suburbia, the lack of public transportation in many areas, and, in general, the vastness of this country) plays a large role in this as well.
No. The guy’s 18, the age of an adult. Adults can make their own decisions.
Since she was in a position of authority over the student, she could have gotten a letter of Conduct Unbecoming and a repremand with the threat of loosing her job. But jail time? No.
Because apparently “consent” means nothing if it involves “someone in power.”
It doesn’t matter what position of a job someone is in – if two people want to have sex and they’re both of legal age, then legal action shouldn’t be taken. If it’s written into the contract that you can’t have sexual relations with your “inferiors” at your job – then she should, at most, be fired. That is it.
No. That kid is 18 and can make his own decisions.
For Christ’s sake, also if it’s a position of authority? People are so damn uptight. He’s 18. Who says there’s an exception to being a legal adult?
I lean towards no. I don’t think it’s a good idea, but I’m not sure it’s something the government should regulate.
No, not if he can give consent.
i don’t think it should be illegal, but i do think it should be against school rules for teachers to have relations with their students- it undermines trust and respect for the teachers and makes the students feel less like a protege and more like a piece of meat
If the student wanted to, it is no big deal. Besides, what 18 year old guy wouldn’t want to fool around with a hot teacher? If she was 42 and he was 28, there would be no issue at all.
Would it make a difference if he wasn’t her student?
This should all be settled by everyone in the world high fiving the kid and saying, “Damn fine job.”
@whataboutbahb - Nice European insert. I always love that fact: it should be a slap in the face to most U.S. citizens that the U.S. is “First in the World” in very few if any departments.
Ethically it is wrong but by law the kid IS 18. If he’s old enough to fight for our country, then I think he’s old enough to make these decisions.
Absolutely, if the student is in one of the teacher’s classes. What if the student is given better grades because he/she’s sleeping with the teacher? What if the student feels pressured to continue sleeping with his/her teacher because if not s/he might get a failing grade? It’s just wrong. This becomes less black and white if the student does not have a class with the teacher, but even then I feel that it’s inappropriate and deserves some sort of reprimand, especially in a public, mandatory, tax-dollar-funded education setting.
No, I feel bad for older women being called cougars, not to mention being jailed for that.
@la_faerie_joyeuse - You will NEVER hear me give you a religious cop out when it comes to incest. You will never hear me say , “just because” or “it just is.” Incest is wrong in my opinion because I’m a survivor of incest from when I was a child.
@huginn - I disagree. Ever hear of the effects of second hand smoke? And what of the children that may come of the frolicking in the bed? In a way, aren’t any children that may come of it victoms in a way?
I don’t think there should be a law against it. But if there is a law, it should not be considered sexual assault. If it was a consensual relationship, and the student was of age, how can they call that sexual assault? I understand the whole “person in a position of authority” concept, but that’s a completely different issue.
Also, it just fucking pisses me off that in cases like this, the person gets 5 years in prison, yet most actual rape cases get dropped and the culprit walks. Some 18 year old banging his teacher gets a prison sentence, but when people are actually getting really really hurt, nothing happens. The world is bullshit.
Yea. They ARE in an authority position, and that’s no example to set.
@nuanniel - Changed my mind. I agree with you.
highschool yes, college no.
Should it be illegal? Not sure. Unethical? Heck yes!
I myself am 23 and teach high schoolers, some of which are either 18 or will soon be 18. Although there isn’t much of an age difference, they very clearly understand that I am their teacher and in a position of authority. There is a clear separation between them and me and a line that should not be crossed. I think that anyone who crosses that line should indeed be punished.
Illegal? No. But there should definitely be some kind of backlash for it… i.e. he gets expelled and she gets fired.
Well, no. The student is legally an adult. At this point, it’s just people impressing their morals upon others. If a consenting adult wants to do something with another consenting adult, that should be that and it’s none of anyone else’s business.
Yep.
No, I don’t think it should be illegal. If I was 30, and a teacher,or, to make this exciting, a principal, and met an 18 year old high school student at a bar or club, and had sex with them, does it become illegal at the point when I find out they go to my school, or when I have sex with them? If my school has 3000 students, thats 3000 people less I can have sex with! Since when do public servants such as educators get punished for serving (or in this case servicing!) the community?
@Jack - If he gets expelled and she gets fired, than as long as she does not go teach at the next school he enrolls in, isn’t that a reward, now they can legally have sex?
no because 18 means the person isn’t a minor anymore
YES, at any age. a teacher should never have sex with a student, because they are in a position of authority over them.
YES! 18 yrs old is still very much immature!
No, they are old enough to date if they want to. I don’t totally agreed they should be dating while he is the student and she is the teacher. It’s not the greatest idea because the other students might spread rumors about the teacher giving him special treatment and better grades due to the fact they are dating. Besides that, I don’t see them dating as a problem. 5-20 years in jail is a bit extreme punishment.
well…it shouldn’t be… it’s creepy..
yes
Technically, God intended older women to be with younger men. Women hit their sexual peak in their mid-30s and men reach theirs in their late teens. Anyway, I digress. Even if the young man was 18, she shouldn’t have been sleeping with her student or even a student at the school she teaches at. I used to teach and I couldn’t even IMAGINE having sex with any of my students! Blech! Gross!
@Merlinfairy - I agree. She should be fired, not arrested. I think it’s a really fine line and it’s hard to define whether it morally wrong. It is obvious that relationships with teens and adults are highly looked down upon in our society, and I think that this is one way of being able to control situations like that. Outside of work or school, the government has no say in who dates who and who sleeps with who, but in the classroom and at work, the government can arrest you for it. Honestly, I think it is morally wrong, but I still think that the woman does have the right to sleep with whomever she choses and he is ‘of legal age’ (though not every 18 year old is really mature enough to make his/her own decisions). So she should be fired for breaking her school’s code, and definitely arrested for providing alcohol to a minor, but not arrested for sleeping with him.
She should have waited until he graduated . . . that way No one can comment or say anything about it. Two adults.
illegal, no. If the student is 18, they’re old enough to know right and wrong, buy a firearm, register to vote, buy tobacco, join the armed forces… and certainly old enough to decide if it is wise or not to sleep with someone.
but it sure as heck is unethical… and if they’re gonna fire the teacher, do it for a breach of ethics such as that.
but imprisonment is a bit much.
if it was mutual and consensual, i think it shouldn’t be illegal. he’s 18.
BUT, i agree with anyone that said that if there was something against it in her work contract, it’s fair for her to be fired. i could also understand it if she was fired, even if it didn’t say anything about it in her contract.
I think time spent in prison is extreme, though, and 5 years i think is too much, let alone 20!
I believe teachers shouldn’t have sexual relationships with students no matter what age. It isn’t illegal though after they are of age, and should be considered bad judgment but not something that they could get reprimanded for (by jailing them) if the student is of age.
it should not be illegal but it shouldn’t be encouraged either.
it shouldn’t be illegal.