February 22, 2008
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Smacking
A group in New Zealand have collected over 300,000 signatures to overturn what is called anti-smacking legislation.
The petition was put together after the government passed a law “outlawing the defence of reasonable parental correction in assault cases.”
The petition asked the question, “Should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand?” Here is the link: Link
Should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence?
Comments (116)
If smacking is illigal then children dont have any idea of what true punishment is…
Hell No
No.
peace?
no
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<td class=”j”>As the Bible tells us: “He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24)
SPANKING IS GOOD FOR THE CHILD!!!
I am not sure I understand the question. But I do think that a parent should be allowed to spank a child without going to prison.
In re the pic – whoa back of the legs. That is the most painful place to get spanked. I got spanked there (not on my butt) for that reason. I still resent the pain, but it sure as heck kept me in line.
In re your question – no. I sure wouldn’t have said that 15 years ago, LOL.
That picture is not a good thing. A proper swat should be on the bottom or the hand and should never be done in anger. A 2-year-old doesn’t understand that putting tweezers in the electrical outlet will shock her. She does understand that approaching the electrical outlet with a pair of tweezers will get her hand smacked.
Should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence?
In my view: No.
@huginn - that explains a lot,
A taser works better
@huginn - sorry,brainfart
@Brilliant_Innocence - Relatively, it does.
The only thing your comment expresses is a poor handle of English grammar.
I don’t agree with spanking/smacking I always felt that it was too abusive and does nothing to help the child besides have them act out in anger.
I wasn’t spanked as a child (but, I was a really good kid, once I had something explained to me as to why it was wrong I never did it again) I have seen my younger siblings spanked though and I have never felt that it was out of punishment, more out of frustration and anger. I feel that having privileges taken away is much more effective; pain is fleeting, but not having TV for a month hurts. I was grounded 3 times in my life and they’ve all been effective (except the one time where I was grounded for accidently tripping over a laundry basket, that was a bit inane.) The thing with being grounded is that the parents really have to follow through.
@huginn - There is nothing wrong with the grammar anyway. But I apologize for butchering the punctuation.lol
nope.
No no no
I had a hard time reading that question.. but anyway,
No. That’s stupid and how the hell does the government carry out that law? “I PUT CAMERAS IN YOUR HOME AND CAR AHAHHAHA”? Seriously.
In my opinion, no.
No, it should not be a criminal offensive. Political correctness is such a joke. Parents have been spanking their children for years. Now some would say that tradition doesn’t make it right. And theoretically it doesn’t. But spanking your children is an individual decision of morality, not an issue to be enforced by the government. There’s a big difference between spanking and child abuse.
No, but neither do I think it’s the best way to punish a child.
Spanking should be illegal. It is abuse – EVERY time. The only thing you are teaching your child, is to fear you. I would much rather explain to my child why what they are doing is wrong, than to just say “okay, i’m going to HIT you, if you do it again”. Sure, your kid might not do that again.. but it’s out of fear of being hit, which is extremely sad.
A child hits a child
And we call it aggression.
A child hits an adult,
And we call it hostility.
An adult hits an adult,
And we call it assault and battery.
An adult hits a child,
And we call it discipline.
psh. It’s not like it’ll do anything… people are gonna smack their kids regardless.
Didn’t you already ask this?
No. When ever my parents have smacked me, I truly believe that I deserved it.
@Amyld -
Yes you are so right and as proof of that, as spanking has declined over the years. Our childern have become so much less violent. Just look at the violent crime rate in the 1950′s. That generation was spanked almost universally and they were so much more . . . oh wait sorry, they had a vastly lower violent crime rate than our less spanked generation.
NO
NO. It all depends on the kid. I was a monster especially when I turned 13 and my mom was always smacking me…I turned out fine; but I also started having clinical depression so I wasn’t “normal” I guess. I had other emotional problems not normal for a 13 year old.
I hated her at the moment but I learned to have respect for her, my dad, and other people older than me. I’m actually glad they spanked me now that I look on it, lol.
No.
well smacking is usually just the tip of the ice berg there might be more abuse that you might not see outside the home, or perhaps it will develop into some odd sexual fetish. The again there is a difference between spanking and smacking..I could go on for years…
No way. It’s part of how a kid learns (most kids, at least). I would say that there needs to be an age limit though…maybe 5 years?
I dont totally agree with Amyld it depends on the parents intent and the spirit in which the spanking is done. i have spanked my kids less than 2-3 times for both of them. i’ll admit with no noticeable success compared with other parenting techniques. timeouts or removing items or activities that the child feels is important.
a parent that gets angry and is striking out at their child in anger because they’ve had a bad day and inflicts bodily injury is quite a bad parent. if a parent regularly beats their child for no good reason he or she should be punished to the full extent of the law for that parent is doing more than just physical damage to the child.
a smack on the butt to get the child’s attention focused on what you’re trying to teach which is not being understood, observed or obeyed can be a good thing.
for example- a 7 year old keeps crossing a busy city street near his home that the parents have explained is unsafe behavior. smacking the kid on the butt is much better than finding him dead by the roadside. its a spanking for the good.
completely unenforceable laws should not even be brought up as ideas. I mean…………… come ON people!!!
@Amyld - I could not disagree with you more. Kids understand pain. When spanking is done (not in anger) but as a means to show the child that you mean business, and that disobedience is a serious offense, it WORKS. Anyone who thinks it doesn’t work was either spanked wrongly or is just in a different hemisphere. I would rather train my kids while they are little than have to deal with issues over and over as they get older!
No. If more kids were given a good swat on the ass maybe they wouldn’t be running around places of business ruining my dinner.
Absolutely NO!!! Government has screwed up government to a fare-thee-well and NOW they want their tenticles in the family and rearing of children? Yikes!
Sometimes a child actually “needs” a smack upside their rump. It’s an attention getter everytime for kids who attempt to exercise their “will” over a parent. Otherwise you will have a generation of the tail wagging the dog…and that’s chaos. Hmm, I believe that’s what is happening now and I’ll bet the offenders can brag they never got smacked or were made accountable for arrant behavior as a wee child.
why is it that we all turn to the government to say what we can and cant do. bullshit imo
Well, being that I’m against spanking, it should at least be regulated somehow.
no. i think a good smacking is the only good discipline as a kid. that’s what keeps them in check.
there is a limit however. if it gives them a bruise, then that’s going a little too far.
Your kid your hand beat the crap out of there butt if need be (not ne ones buisness outside the family)…….. Shouldnt have to but some kids need more than others… Ive never seen a case where a child that got spanked as a last resort punishment turned out bad ever…. The key is as others said never in anger….. I was spanked allot as a child and i turned out just fine…. But it was always in love some people do it all wrong and thats abuse but as my opening statement suggests i dont feel that its my busness…..
First off, I believe that the government should not be making decisions about how people discipline their child except where the discipline would cross the line into abuse or negligence or some other offense.
But the phrase “outlawing the defence of reasonable parental correction in assault cases” has me pause. And the article mentions that the bill passed after “a last-minute amendment [was] put forward by National stating police did not have to pursue inconsequential smacking.” So it seems to me that smacking itself is not a criminal offense, but that in an assault case brought against parents they are not allowed to defend themselves by saying the harm they caused their child was merely corrective and within their rights as parents.
I don’t know that I would agree with that either, but it’s certainly an entirely different question than the one Dan (and the petition) posed.
No way.
(a spanking is ok- a beating is NOT)
NO!
fuck no. there are bitches 21+ that need a good smack the fuck upside they head to straighten them out. but thats called “assault” life was much easier when you could just shoot their dumb ass
@Amyld - That is just one of the most simple-minded things I’ve ever heard in terms of child-rearing. The statement “It is abuse – EVERY time” is simply bologna. If you truly believe that, you are an absolute fool. If you don’t believe it, you should measure your words more carefully before you make yourself appear as a fool. That is simply amazing that anyone could be that foolish.
No.
you want my opinion? ok here goes…i think that there is nothing wrong with spanking a child when it is needed. I don’t like it when i see parents “smack” their childern when they are mad. that makes my blood boil! the bible clearly tells us that the rod will help the kid.
doing it in anger would NEVER help at all.
@Amyld - I totally AGREE! You took the words right out of my mouth and I am a mom of 6 GREAT kids. Joan
No. While I don’t think it’s the best way to go, sometimes it is necessary.
The amazing thing about spankers is this: I have never met one that actually took the time to RESEARCH the implications of corporal punishment.
Yet most non spankers (who obviously go against the barbaric grain), have spent HOURS researching their point of view since it has been a widely accepted practice in our society which was influenced by Victorian thinking.
In Sweden, spanking is against the law and they have a lower crime rate than the US. It is so safe there that people can leave their babies in their strollers outside of stores on the sidewalk and not worry about some weirdo who developed weird spanking fetishes as a child, kidnapping them!
As for those of you who are immature enough to make totally ridiculous comments about this topic… GROW UP.
For those of you who use the Bible to justify your parental assaults go to this link and read about what the Bible REALLY says: http://www.freewebs.com/suffer-the-little-children/therodorshebet.htm
@hbasedmomof6 - link did not work Here is again
The Rod or Shebet
Are all spankings abuse? I’d say no. I think fists, belts, shoes, spoons, switches, etc, cross the line, to abuse.
Are some parents to quick to hit, probably.
Its a tough balance. I was a kid, I got an odd spanking, but so far as I knew, that was pretty normal. I did not fear my parents, and I was a good kid.
I’m not sure where I stand on the spanking issue, actually.
Though if you really want to cause your child pain you should make them copy obedience poems. Maybe not as instantly traumatic as spanking, but the memory lasts a lifetime.
No, unless it’s on the face.
There’s no reason to smack a child across the face.
I feel that breaking down physical barriers with your child will only lead to bad things, but I know people who were spanked and it didn’t spiral into abuse.
There’s just a fine line. I don’t think it’s worth risking really. My relationship with my mother would be ruined if those barriers were ever broken. She’s always found non-corporal ways to punish me and I seem to have turned out fine.
Children need to get hit.
Its all they understand XD
I’m not saying beat the child until they can’t move. Just enough to get the point across so that they’re hurt more psychologically XD
@sarahellie - So you want the child to associate pain with his mother’s hand? That’s not how it should be.
No. Smacking/Spanking should be allowed if it stays near the rear end and hands. Now smacking your kid in the head or in the face…no, wrong. Parents who don’t spank their kids just get stepped all over when their kids are much older. I’ve seen it happen with my peers.
First i have to clarify. A smack to me is on the face. A spank is on the but. Smacking your kids is wrong untill a cretain age. I remember my dad smacking me on several occasions. I also remember spankings on some occasions. I think its up to the parents how to dicipline their children.
@Amyld - And @ pretty much anybody who is against spanking… you’re wrong. Your job as a fucking parent isn’t to make sure your child is always happy with you. Your job is to raise them to be respectful, responsible and loving individuals.
What the hell are you going to? Give them time-outs or raise your voice when they act up? What happens when they don’t want to stay in time-out? Then you have to do something. Maybe it’s taking something away from them, like computer-time or whatever.
“But I’d rather reward them for being good. If they know that being good brings rewards, they’ll always do the right thing.” You say?
If you really believe the crap that is flying out of your mouth if you say such a thing, you shouldn’t be allowed to have kids. THAT WON’T FUCKING WORK.
You’re in a position of authority. You’re the police, you make the laws. If you don’t give them morals and discipline, they’ll grow up to be addicted to drugs, I guarantee it.
@hbasedmomof6 - Sweden has a lower crime because they have less poverty. Most crime occurs because of economic reasons, not disciplinary. If you think America is full of weirdos, that’s because the news puts them under a magnifying glass. To say that there are no weirdos in Sweden is ridiculous.
I should also say that simply leaving your baby in a stroller somewhere, no matter what country you live in, is irresponsible.
no, up to a certain age, children don’t really understand the concept of no (even for safety) or of being wrong, for a period, a tap that is louder than it is painful leaves a much stronger impression
at a certain age however, its time to stop because reasoning should be used instead
@Amandasbiggestfan - Ummmm? how many kids do YOU have again? I have SIX…. 2 are teenagers 16 and 17 and have NEVER touched a drug in their life, don’t smoke or drink or have any desire to to do stupid stuff like that and they certainly are not potty mouths (as you seem to be) either.
And one of the things I am most proud of is that my kids feel they can come to me and talk to me about ANYTHING w/o feeling judged or condemned! That is what they have told me.. I did not just come up with that on my own.
I am glad I did not teach them that the way to settle conflict was with psychological manipulation or with physical abuse.. The way to deal with others is through WORDS and REASONING. Not yelling, spanking, control or manipulation.
And poverty is NO EXCUSE for breaking the law…. a person can be poor and still be LAW ABIDING.
Even people from upper class families commit crimes. Being poor entitles no one to crime.
And just because swedes leave their kids outside stores as part of their culture, does not mean I would do it personally.
>>i don’t know I think spanking should not be legal. There are other ways to discipline a child.
No, but parents who spank or smack their children out of anger should be stop. There is a difference between a light smack and hitting a helpless child due the parent have a bad day (might become child abuse).
@hbasedmomof6 - I was spanked… about once every six months because I needed and deserved it. I don’t think the way to solve things is by violence. Neither do any of my friends who were spanked. Interestingly enough, I have never touched a drug in my life either. I also don’t smoke or drink. And wouldn’t you know it? I feel as if I can talk to my parents about anything without feeling judged or condemned.
Also, Amandasbiggestfan wasn’t saying that poverty is an excuse for being violent. He(?) was simply stating a fact. Perhaps if you had read his(?) comment with a more open mind, you would have realized that; however, you instead chose to immediately jump on his case and to your defense.
And by the way, I highly doubt your kids are as perfect as you seem to convey that they are. I’m sure that they’re great kids, but you’re their mother and it’s unlikely that they actually tell you everything even though they feel as though they can tell you anything.
Do we not smack our dogs when they take a shit on the new carpet? It’s the same thing in my opinion, house breaking a dog, raising a child, you have to teach them what’s right and wrong. However I don’t believe we should go around with baseball bats swinging at kids for being well, kids.
NO. Spanking (when done well) is good. But it should never be done in anger, and that is where a lot of parents go wrong. If you are angry and you spank your child, that will teach him/her something entirely different than if you spank in a calm, reasonable way.
Spanking as a whole is NOT abuse, though in some instances, depending on how it is done, it can be.
No
some kids need smacked. my kids need smacked, sometimes… but i can’t do it in public… so they get away with everything… all because i don’t want to have cps on my ass when i get home…. so, no… they shouldn’t have anything against a parent smacking their child. now… the ones who repeatedly do it… with more force trauma to the heads and back areas… they need to be charged with a criminal offense….
I am a New Zealander and I would not sign such a petition. While I don’t think such a law will stop abusers, I don’t think spanking/smacking should be legal. Spanking is not necessary and neither is it helpful in the long term. It may give short term, instant results, but in the long term it teaches the child nothing but to fear adults. It’s like putting a lion in a cage and when the cage is taken away, ie the child is “too old” for spanking, the lion will still act like an untrained lion. So to answer your question, yes, smacking should be a criminal offense.
@honestalan - FWIW, I’ve never smacked my dog, EVER. And she was house trained in 4mos.
No.
A lot of these commenters are the same ones who defined immorality as being hurtful in their commentary about puppy love…things that make you go hmmmm
A smack should not be criminal.
No.
@Amyld - try explaining to a 20 mos old that they might die if they stick their finger in the light socket. at that age deterence is FAR more effective.
As to Dan’s question: no it is not a criminal offense, there’s nothing harmful about it. pain is a wonderful deterent from dangerous behaviors and actions and the pain is MOMENTARY! A smack on the tush is not necessarily done in anger (contrary to popular belief). I’m not fuming when I spank my daughter, just demonstrating that something she’s doing is wrong. She’s old enough only understand that with a “NO-NO!” not a lengthy discussion about why putting things in the microwave is dangerous.
Spanking is relegated to the lower hindquarters, not the face or other sensitive body parts. Ever notice how chubby those butt cheeks are? Yah, they’re there for a reason! And if you begin when they’re young, spanking doesn’t need to be a long term form of punishment- it can be replaced by other forms as they get older, but it’s supremely effective on young toddlers and preschoolers. If you do it right, they’ll cry but they’ll immediately want you to comfort them and they’ll get the message in a heartbeat. And that’s essentially what it’s all about.
I’m tired of the government telling parents how to raise their children. They seriously need to bug off, we don’t need a nanny state, thank you very much.
No, even though my parents never smacked me when I was a kid.
Lol get em vaj. Little monsters! God makes wee ones cute so we don’t kill em~
BY NOT SMACKING OUR CHILDREN WHEN THEY NEED IT WE’RE CREATING MORE LIBERALS WHO TRY TO IDENTIFY PARENTAL DISCIPLINE AS ASSAULT. Those lawmakers need to be chucked into an active volcano immediately!
@hbasedmomof6 -
Wow, first of all kudos to you for putting out all six of the kids and I am really glad you hit the lottery and have never needed to get across to a two year old that running into traffic is not allowed. There are certain instances when corporal punishment is the only way to get your point across to them.
As far as people leaving their babies in strollers outside of stores, I see that as a worse crime against a child than the occasional swat on the butt. Leaving a defenseless child on their own with no regard for their safety, someone should call that child abuse. Oh wait we do…
I researched the implications of corporal punishment long and hard, I have shelves of books that have great advice on positive parenting. There have been times though that all of that great advice goes out the window in favor of actually getting the point across to a child not yet old enough to understand the reasons behind mommy not wanting him to play chase with cars.
And lastly, the Bible shouldn’t be used as back up for either position about spanking. That should be a decision that each parent makes on their own from what they see as necessary for their children. Don’t use God as your justification for spanking or not spanking your children, because at the end of the day the decision is still yours.
NO!!!!!! And I mean HELLS NO!!!!
I’m hitting my kids. If I make them, I can abuse them. Sometimes that’s what it takes.
OK I am done with this discussion. Obviously most of you were spanked so much you don’t understand “reason”.
Toddlers can be TAUGHT about dangers w/o being HIT. Toddlers can be redirected, the house can be baby proofed or how about some good old ‘get off your butt’ ‘look em in the eye’ and DIRECT them about what is dangerous and what is not. Gee I don’t know how I managed to keep from having a dead toddler with my last child? (which I did not spank as a toddler)
Learn to be a bit more creative then thinking you have to reach out and smack someone to get them to do what you want. I mean.. do you HIT your friends to get what you want? Judging by some of these comments, some you probably do.
If you guys want to teach your children that hitting is the way to solve problems, then don’t be surprised when they hit others.
One commenter actually said you should “psychologically” harm your child! What? I mean, some of you can’t be serious?!
Since I am a Christian, I only use the Bible as my guide. I spent 2 or 3 months doing a thorough study before I made up my mind to give up hitting my kids in the name of God about 9 years ago.. And when I used to hit my kids… I used all the proper technique.. not in anger, explain, hug.. blah blah. Give me a break! Hitting is HITTING. Whether it is on the face, leg, backside or whatever…. HITTING IS HITTING! and HITTING is abusive. I am tired of people using the Bible as an excuse to hit their kids and some people DO.
Like it or not… just because it is generally accepted in our Victorian influenced, barbaric society as NORMAL.. does not mean it is NORMAL.
Become a Child ADVOCATE!
@jacq210 - congratulations, want a cookie?
@hbasedmomof6 -
Alright so you gave up smacking your kids, meaning to say that you did smack them up to a point. While I agree that there are better ways to deal with children once they are old enough to be reasoned with, I do believe that on occasion a swat on the butt is the most effective method of correction.
To stand on a soap box and lecture us about spanking because you already decided it is wrong, is more than slightly hypocritical. If you want to be in a position to lecture about the evils of spanking perhaps you shouldn’t have mentioned that you only stopped spanking your 17 year old 9 years ago. Some people might say that children are fully capable of being reasoned with (especially at 6, 7, or 8 years old) without resorting to spanking, oh wait that was you…
@la_vida_linda - It is NOT hypocritical! I stopped spanking my kids because I saw it was STUPID and INEFFECTIVE. I would be a hypocrite if I DID NOT mention I used to spank them. LOL
HITTING IS HITTING… DON’T FORGET THAT.
And just so you know.. I will climb on my soapbox, stay on my soapbox and preach from my soapbox anytime I want, for as long as I want, about whatever I want.
OK.. now I THINK I really am DONE with this particular discussion.
No. I’m pretty sure I grew up the way I did because I didn’t want to get popped for doing something that I KNEW was wrong.
I remember Dad telling me how I’d reach for his lighter, when he used to smoke, and he’d tell me “no, don’t touch that, you’ll hurt yourself,” and I kept doing it. Then finally, I’d wait until he looked away – and reach for it again.
I stopped once he popped my hand. I’d much rather have been smacked on the hand than burned because I thought lighters were toys.
There’s a difference between discipline and child abuse, and even though it makes the news a lot, most of the child abuse cases are far worse than someone just hitting their kids. It’s usually the baby’s thrown in the microwave, or neglected because the parents play WoW.
I have well-behaved, respectable children who are now young adult citizens….why? Because I beat the crap out of them when they were little. Just kidding. But I did have a wooden spoon. Parents should never use their hand as a form of punishment. Their hands are for love and that is why I used a wooden spoon…ever so gently.
@not_done_baking - that would work in theory, but not every child reacts well to being grounded or having something taken away from them. I have three siblings. me and my older brother were both spanked/smacked and we both did very well. my two younger siblings were grounded or had some privilage or another taken away from them and both ended up angry, violent and in trouble most of their lives. my mom would try to ground them and they would simply do what they felt they wanted anyway. the parent just has to remember to cool down before giving the punishment.
so my answer is no, I don’t think it’s wrong.
@iheartpenguins86 -
And again that works in theory as well. I have four siblings, ranging from autistic to incredibly smart to lots of learning disabilities… quite frankly, it all falls back on the parent to follow through. I’ve never seen a case in my family where spanking worked. My middle sister was spanked, at ten she reads at a college level, needs very little instruction when it comes to learning… but she’s a very angry and out of control child. I suppose it just depends on the child and the way the parent follows through on things.
I am with amyld. And I have more reasoning behind it. We should be protecting ALL children from abuse. And to make a law that says no one can hit a child protects children ALL children from the potential of being abused. At least that is how I see it.
Hell no!
There is a big difference between a correctional spanking given out of love, and physical abuse.
heck-NO! I think it’s often needed. ever heard of reasonable discipline? most of us got smacked as children and I can only think it did good!
Although I don’t agree with corporal punishment–it just made me resent my parents for the longest time and never really taught me anything–it shouldn’t be illegal.
What the hell? That’s a good way to stop Asians to immigrate to New Zealand though (if that’s what they want!). It is in many culture to spank… generations and generations. I am in the “My parents hit me with a feather duster” group on Facebook. Warm and fuzzy memories shared there. Just don’t go overboard like some parents mentioned there and it should be fine.
I mean, one could argue that children will do to their children what their parents subjected them to, but there are some kids that need a swift kick to the rear end to gain any sense of morality.
it kept me in line….
It seems to me that people confuse not smacking with permissiveness. I am NOT a permissive parent, I do NOT spank or hit my 6 children. I think a lot of people hit their children because they don’t know what else to do. A ban on smacking needs to be accompanied with parenting seminars that teach parents how to gently discipline their children. If you tell parents they cannot hit their children and they have no other tools that will lead to permissiveness and willful children. http://aolff.com/ has a lot of research and tools too for parents. You will also find the root to the common phrase “Spare the rod and spoil the child” which is definitely NOT found is scripture.
‘smack’ and good parenting should not be in the same scentence. but…is it criminal…no, it’s just bad parenting.
No. That’s just stupid. I’d rather get smacked than belted.
I remember, when I was about 4, I told my mom I hated her, and she slapped me across the face, I’ve never said it again.
It’s good for correction as long as it doesn’t get out of control.
what’s with the british spelling of offense, Dan?
No. What part of “GOOD parental correction” don’t they understand?
@Amyld -
I liked your last paragraph. Interesting comparisons.
@hbasedmomof6 -
I liked everything you wrote. You had to put up with some tough opposition, especially being one of the few commentors sharing your opinion. Thank you for expressing your views.
@Dontgimmedathup -
You’re a jerk. There’s no need to call someone names and belittle them, just because they disagree with your point of view. That doesn’t harbor very good discussion.
Personally, I made a decision when I was a teenager, that when I had kids, I would make sure that I would never make a rule without a reason, and that I would always let my kids know what the reason was. I never wanted to say “Because I said so”. So far, as a parent of a 4 year old, and an 18 month old, I have never had to spank them. Just like Amyld says, “Your kid might not do that again…but it’s out of fear of being hit”. I want my kids to understand why they can’t do something. If they are too young to understand why they shouldn’t do something, then they are too young to understand why they are being hit.
Of all the comments, I can only remember two examples of when you should hit your kids, because otherwise they “wouldn’t understand”. Playing with sockets, and running into the street.
1. Sockets – They make these little plastic things that fit into any sockets you’re not using. Go get some, and it won’t be an issue. Then, actually watch your toddler. If he starts to play by the plugs, tell him no, and move him.
2. Traffic – um, if you’re by a street, with a small child, you need to be holding their hand. That’s just all there is to it. Then, when they start walking a little closer to the street, you say “Don’t go in the street…you’ll get crashed by a car” Will they continue to try to walk into the street? yes. They’re a toddler. But, if you keep saying it everytime they do it, and you’ve been holding their hand everytime to make sure they’re safe, by the time they’re old enough to play by themselves in the front yard they should have gotten it.
oh, and 3. Playing with your dad’s lighter. Um, put the lighter somewhere where your kid can’t get it. Like a high place, or your pocket.
I think it is completely reasonable to never have to hit your kid, and in fact I feel that from personal experience, it is better. However, I don’t know what the cut-off point is. When I wrestle with my boys, I playfully spank their butt, and they laugh. Would that be illegal? Would it be illegal to give them birthday spankings?
But, I also agree with hbasedmomof6 that your kids will copy anything and everything you do. If you spank them to tell them no, they will hit other kids when they take their toy. If you explain why something is wrong to your kids, they will say “I was playing with that first” when someone takes their toy.
I don’t know what the answer should be. I don’t agree with spanking kids. But I don’t think that the parent should go to prison. I guess it depends on what the punishment would be. What if they just got a fine or something. Everybody is saying that the only thing a kid understands is pain, well we all know that the only thing an adult understands is money.
oh my lord some of these people and there its abusive stuff…thats crazy. Do some people take it over board yes, why the hell do you think todays youth is sooo horrible and why there are so many crimes being commited, its because of people that dont believe in spanking your child when they need it….sometimes kids need a good ass whoopin….enough said
No, not if it is administered correctly and with love as discipline and not out of anger. I will never forget the story a friend told me. His son went to him voluntarily and asked to be spanked as he was out of control. Now that is amazing. This kid I think recognized the reason for it and the love behind it.
Nope. And you gotta hand it to the New Zealanders, they actually have a point.
’nuff said…
Nope.
Heck, no. Some kids really need it!
my parents spanked me all the time in public or at home or when i was with family
i wasn’t a particularly good child…
but it definately made me think beforei speak or act so although i hated it and cried…
spanking when appropriate with the appropriate force is what makes kids behave!
No. But I don’t think that it should be the first choice of discipline -unless used for an extremely dangerous situation. I always believed I would not “spank” but when your child goes out in the street you change your mind. And I said child not crawler- beginning toddler.
depends on what extent….
ideally parents would have enough psychology education for immediate and effective repercussions for misbehavior. unfortunately a solid smack is an effective and expedient method of punishment in judicious parenting.
What a waste of time.
No, I think spanking your children as a punishment is acceptable as long as you don’t go over the line. One smack is enough.