May 31, 2008
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When Xanga and Real Life Collide
I was reading a post by doahsdeer about what happens when real life and xanga life collide. He wrote this story:
“Three years ago, I stumbled upon a blogger on xanga who soon became one
of my favorites. The first post that caught my attention, she asked
the question What if the hokey pokey really is what it’s all about?
The next day she blogged in extraordinary detail about her husband’s
extra-marital affair. I was still new to blogging and stunned that
someone would share such excruciating pain online. She believed she
was anonymous on her blog. She believed there was a separation between
her virtual identity and her real identity. She stopped blogging about
a year ago. I believe she stopped blogging because her ‘real’ life and
her ‘virtual’ life were growing uncomfortably close.”He ends up asking the question “Would it make you uncomfortable if your ‘real’ life and your ‘virtual’ life collided?”
Would it make you uncomfortable if your real life and your virtual life collided?
Comments (152)
no.
It did, until I discovered protected lists. only people I dont know IRL are on them.
It absolutely would. Many of us like to separate our virtual ideas from are reality ones. It’s the same way our voice/phone differs from our email, which both differ from what we are like in person.
I for one just like to have different channels of communication. With blogging it’s like announcing instead of conversing.
It would be tragic! I hate when life gets in the way of Xanga!
It wouldn’t shock me…I’m me…and people can take it as such…Xanga is just one facet of who I am…as we are all complex.
It happened and it’s not good, even though I’ve never posted anything I’m ashamed about. Things I wrote got twisted into meanings I never intended.
It would suck but I think I’m prepared for it.
Yeah but only because I open up about more personal things on here that I don’t like to talk about IRL…very very few that I actually know IRL are also on my xanga. I think everyone needs a personal space to write about how they truly feel without feeling judged. We tend to sugarcoat things when sharing things with people we actually know in person.
I once wrote about my friend’s abusive relationship on my blog. I gave her a fake name, I changed some details. I didn’t even think she read my blog.
But she did and she was really, really pissed off. I don’t write about my friend’s lives anymore.
And I don’t talk to that friend anymore….another one bites the dust.
I guess. It bothers me when my RL people comment about my blogs on RL problems that really don’t concern them. It seems more intrusive than it does if online people do it. Which makes absolutely no sense. And I hate when they read my complaints about them, because I am much more, uh, tactful? in person than I am in blogs. Actually I just tend to be mean … so. Yeah, I guess.
It will be weird. Even though I said I will stick with Xanga no matter what.
I would probably have to re think, if this happened it could be an end of an era on Xanga for me
depending on the matter.
I have experienced a very painful example of this. I have a disabled daughter, Gemee, now struggling for her life. A clique of Xangans including, AntiSoccerMom, FullMetalBunny, and DrugInducedDuck, took it upon themselves to punish me for disassociating myself from a site due to the use of hate language. I was referred to as “retarded” by DID. That doesn’t bother me in the least but is hurtful and confusing to Gemee. I explained the situation with her being online with me and requested he use another derogatory term in this all night flaming of my new site. Instead, he used it ad nauseam to get to me by hurting my daughter.
They already collide. And I’m fine with that.
Yes, that’s why I deleted my facebook account…too much exposure (plus 90% of my 600+ “friends,” I would overtly hide from in a supermarket).
Oh and I can’t help but comment that the woman’s post was stolen from one of Carrie’s column questions on Sex and the City a few years back. Lol.
After my professor’s partner googled him and found a reference to my site where I was saying he was totally awesome, I realized I’d have to be careful. I try to never say bad things about people on my site and spend most of the time just delving into my own crazy mind.
That said, it wouldn’t make me particularly uncomfortable if my real and xanga lives collided.
they pretty much already collide and I am fine with it
I think I’m fairly casual enough about my Xanga that my real life and xanga life are separate. But it also HAS to be since I don’t want Hubby to know about my Xanga.Although things have changed since I first started my Xanga, so now, even if he did stumble across it, I wouldn’t be so secretive about it. And I don’t write about my friends lives or things that may make people uncomfortable.
In some ways, I treat my Xanga like my diary, just with the option of getting a public opinion on my life.
I do have my protected post lists, in which I give more personal details to my life for those that I don’t know in real life.
Hey, hope you have a great weekend!
*HUGS*
yup, it was one of the reasons why my bjs1023 blog ended and my thescalesandthescorpion blog began. Very few of my friends know that I blog, and I never blog anything negative about people I know or work with. It is much better to take care of personal problems on a personal level as opposed to taking the “letter to the editor” approach.
There is a maturity to be achieved while blogging and that maturity is still being defined in the blog community.
I would absolutely hate it…which is probably why I am extremely cautious about information I share – in terms of location, name, workplace, etc. I also very rarely – if at all – share photos of myself or my family.
my family, no it already has.
The rest of my real world associates ses. that would be the end of this blog
I guess I don’t separate the two. What you see or read is what you get.
yes it would.
hmm… probably yeah, because I don’t want people knowing some things about me.
@BADBOYDOOMDADDY - that’s fucked up. now i can’t even remember what i was originally going to write.
@porcupinesol - That isn’t even the end of it. DID then justified what he did by saying he has a friend with Downs syndrome that thinks it is funny. That may be but has nothing at all to do with the life experiences that make it painful to Gemee. DID now has a circle of friends hell bent on driving me off of Xanga to shut me up about the whole incident, led by AmandasBiggestFan. She justifies the whole incident by suggesting it was meant to be funny (to who?) and DID was just defending the friend whose site I wished not to be associated with. The whole thing is online clique mentality gone mad.
Mine do… my family and friends read and comment on my site regularly. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all… it jus means I am forced to kep it real…
IN June I will get to meet my Best Xanga friend Beth! I am excited…
@BADBOYDOOMDADDY - it’s pretty sad when online popularity is more important to people than kindness to a fellow human being. i find that people frequently forget that behind screen names, there are real, live, caring people whose feelings can be hurt. don’t let it get you down. not all xangans are jerks.
i’m always careful of what i write and what pics i post. never know who’s going to google me. and having a protect list is definitely good if you do write more personal stuff.
reminds me of how employees woulddo a search of their job candidates on myspace and discover how drunk they were in college!
It depends on what you mean by ‘collide.’ Because in a way, my “two lives” already have.
It’s happened to me, and it’s been weird. I had another xanga where ex-friends left ‘anonymous’, rude comments on mine, but I knew who they were.. it was obvious. That’s why I deleted it and started this one. It’s much better not writing about intricate personal things on xanga.
Yes! I feel much more comfortable on Xanga, and I can speak my mind. If I knew that my ‘real life’ friends were reading all my posts, I would have to censor myself. My posts wouldn’t represent my true ideas.
i’ve gotten in trouble with ‘real life’ friends for things i’ve said on xanga or elsewhere. they get over it and i get over it when i read things they say. we keep that separation between online and reality clearly defined.
what’s scary is when people’s virtual life take over their real life. or at least that’s what i’ve picked up from reading other responses to this question…
I don’t post anything too personal on xanga anyway. And I try to keep them separate.
Would it make you uncomfortable if your real life and your virtual life collided?
Yes. I’ve been careful in not reviewing particulars about me on xanga that can be googled and pinned to me from real life.
Nah.
It has. Several of my most devoted subscribers are real life friends of mine. On one hand it’s nice because they get to keep up with me, read my ideas, and stuff, but then again, I have to censor myself to a certain point. That makes it not so fun sometimes.
wouldn’t and doesn’t faze me a bit.
there are times and places to air dirty laundry…the internet is not it.there are times and places to mull hurts, wallow in sorrow and say not-so-nice things about people that tick us off…the internet is not it. a lot of people have found that out the hard way. I learned from them
at first I did my best to remain anonymous in search terms. not using names or locations, so if someone I knew stumbled across that might think that it sounded familiar, now a lot of aquaintances now I write some blogs and they know the url. It’s kind of impossible to keep secret at this point so I might as well let people know it’s me.
I’ve made sure not to name names or make bad comments about anyone so it wouldn’t bother me if people knew.
I don’t know. I had never considered that.
Eh!!!
I keep my blog close to my real life anyways!!!
nah, unfortunately my real life is not that interesting
My two lives coincide.
Thus I have to censor myself at times.
I encourage it
Yes, it would. But then again, it’s your choice to share as much or as little as you want in the “virtual world”.
To a point… I don’t want my friends and family in real life to read my blog because I sometimes say things that I would never tell them to their face. Not necessarily bad or good, just private.
Most likely, yes.
My life is my life- i’m me in the real world and me online i wouldn’t mind as long as it wasn’t a dangerous or harmful situation.
Not at all
Hmmmm not really. Though some of the stuff I’ve written in the past might make me look pretty douche-like if isolated from everything else I have written.
Anyone who is a friend, either here or IRL, knows me and what I believe it and the things I hold dear.
Those who aren’t friends might be shocked to read what I write here.
Should I care? Well, only because I might be embarrassed if my co-workers knew I talked about them on a regular basis. I guess that might make me two-faced, but I need a place where I can gripe about them. If I didn’t have that, things at work might get a little hairy since I would not have an outlet anymore.
It can be a good thing to have some “outside” perspective on situations in your “real life.”
no because xanga is the only place i can really be myself and not have to be judged or anything
Not really.
I go to SakuraCon every spring, and I’m planning next year to, for at least one day, dress up as my GaiaOnline avatar. For anyone that cares, my other costume is going to be the red horse from Charlie the Unicorn.
I guess I sort-of protect myself from meshing my online persona and my real one by refusing to give out my real name on message boards like Gaia where I use a handle. But if I were to meet someone who happened to also play Gaia, and frequented the same boards I did, I’d be more than happy to give them my real name and my handle.
I really enjoy meeting people I have befriended online. A couple months ago one of my buddies from Gaia was in my area, and we met for lunch. It was really cool meeting the person behind the avatar. Also, I have no issues whatsoever with my “real-life” friends hanging with me online, reading my blog, etc. I blog about some pretty personal stuff, so the people I’m really worried about reading it are complete strangers. That’s why I have Xanga Lock! <3
My journal is completely real .. good ro bad, I don’t hold much of anything back, I don’t mind people reading (well there’s a couple on block but for the most part I don’t care who reads what) I’m not ashamed of what I’ve been through, what I’m going through and my journal is an account of my life and thought’s just online.
I would feel a lil bad if my family members were to read it and find out how much I think they suck … but on the other hand maybe then they’d realize how awful they have been the past couple of years.
I naturally assume that xanga is a part of my rl. The only way I would stop blogging, is if I,like several people I know, killed myself( which right now, isn’t likely to happen) or if xanga somehow lost all of it’s data. I know others( shock,lol) that left xanga for Myspace( though I keep both, but I only blog on xanga). I hope your friend’s friend is still around somewhere. Maybe someone should start a xanga version of this:
http://www.mydeathspace.com/
so we find out what happens to people.
I warned my husband and my family to stay off my xanga. I let them know that I am brutally honest about how I feel about them when I am writing. I let them know that they will not like what they read and I will not censor myself for them. I don’t really care who reads it since I am not writing for them, I am writing for me.
No, I wouldn’t care. Many of my friends know I have xanga, and I’ll give anyone the address if they ask (I think it’s on my facebook page). I don’t usually write anything really personal, and if I do, I don’t mind people knowing.
Bottom line: don’t put anything public if you don’t want the world to know.
@BADBOYDOOMDADDY - SHEISTY!.. Xanga DRAMA. I feel your pain. Just reading all this is making me cringe. People like DID sound like they’re still in High school. They’ve taken it a step too far. How do you think so many teens commit suicide? It’s because of people like that. They find it all fun & games, funny. They don’t even know how they affect the other individuals who are involved.
My Real life & Virtual life had collided plenty of times. All for the wrong reasons. The only thing that made me uncomfortable was my previous breakup with a boyfriend. & When someone from my area decided to print out my ANGRY BLOGs & send it straight home to Mom (whom it was directed towards).
But all that Didn’t stop me from blogging. People don’t know what to do with themselves once someone’s admitted and stepped up to their fault.
Both my lives are the same. I started xanga for 2 reasons, the first being we live across the country from my inlaws and they wanted to hear and see more of the kids than physically possible and second because a lot of our close college friends which we also moved away from were already members and I could peek in on their lives. What I share on my xanga I don’t care who reads, most are people who actually know me….I wouldn’t share things that I didn’t want people to read. But I have often thought about having a secret blog in order to be more candid about certain subjects……haven’t done it though……….
Errm…I don’t really understand the question. I normally don’t talk that much or have too much time to talk about my personal life here & whatever I do is probably on another blog or privately. I don’t tell people I know IRL about my blog. If someone does know I tend to change names & modify how something happened.
yea it would probably be bad. there are some things i would like to keep secret about my life.
no. my real life is in the same key as my virtual life… i don’t really have anything to hide… i’m pretty boring. but i keep my site friends only so that only people i trust know everything about me (don’t want those crazy people stealing pix of my kids). those girls are my friends, online or real life. there’s no difference for me. if my husband had an affair, if i wasn’t in jail for murder, i’d tell my friends online as i would irl. i’m more open on here to those girls than i am to some people i know in real life. that’s just how i am though. when you don’t have many people irl life that you can go to, sometimes your online friends can be your biggest supporters. that’s what i’m here for. when my mom died, i would have gone crazy if not for those girls. there are many, many personal situations that have happened to us over the years, and i would have lost my mind without them. and now that good things are starting to happen again, the happy vibes are a huge pick me up. besides all that, plenty of my in laws know of my xanga, and even read it, and my husband has full access to it. it’s different for everyone, i suppose.
I don’t know. If some people read it, it could be very detrimental, but most of my friends haven’t even heard of xanga and even if they did, they wouldn’t know how to find me. I’ve been on Xanga for years. And I have had only a few friends I know in RL read it. Those that did, and still do, are some of my best friends, the ones I tell everything to anyways, so I don’t care. But…there are always protected lists. ^ ^
Some of my old protected posts are very personal from when I was younger. I wrote the way I pleased, about the way I really felt about things. If people from my ‘real life’ were to read them, I wouldn’t mind too much, because it probably wouldn’t make sence to them anyways. It’s explaining it that would bother me.
I think they do collide somewhat, and so far nothing has gone terribly wrong.
I would hope that my lives wouldn’t coincide dramatically,
but they already are some what related.
It would be uncomfortable, but one can look at this from two perspectives. If my friends in real life were to find my xanga, I would definitely be embarassed. I write in xanga (and abandon myspace, facebook, etc) because I want to be able to write my thoughts on concepts, as well as ramble about the silly things in my life. Xanga has allowed me to write whatever I feel, without worrying about what the people I know will say. I am able to meet others from different enivironments, and I am able to share experiences with them.
It’s harder for online friends to be judgemental, I believe.
In a different perspective, what if I were to meet an online friend? That, dear, would be a strange case. I believe that the very FACT that a “virtual human” were to become flesh and bone could screw up (can’t think of a better term) a friendship that was meant to be online.
Some friendships are meant to exist in the real world, while others are meant to exist on the internet.
i try not to show who i am on xanga, but some of my real life friends read my site and i’m fine with that.
@SUGARCANEkitty - That is exactly why I have taken this on as a cause. Xanga Team is none to happy about it, but I tell the story because it could very well be that teen next time. I don’t wish any of this clique ill will but I will, if it is the last thing I do, make them think twice about ever doing it again to someone else.
@SUGARCANEkitty - Some lose sight of the fact we are real people on here, not avatars. We have real feelings and we might be destined to get them hurt online, just as readily as anywhere else. But when, as the Klique did, this is justified because, “it is just online”, someone’s wiring has done got badly crossed. This is real life. Just as a Dear John letter is real life in the trenches. We need to remember that and have the same respect for others online as we do anywhere else. If one doesn’t have that respect for others anywhere else, they shouldn’t be online.
My real life and virtual life have in various ways collided, at different levels. There’s no way I can separate the two now that I’ve met some wonderful Xangans in real life. That’s just the way it goes..
dat oughtta be gud
It would depend on the situation. The only person that is on xanga with me that I know in real life is my best friend, Mary. I tell her everything anyway.
No, I don’t do or say anything on here that I don’t in life.
I would just prefer that I choose who I reveal my real name and location to. Some people here do know me IRL. But I have chosen to reveal myself to them.
@Blue_ButterflyBaby - But you defend DID for hurting my baby.
@Blue_ButterflyBaby - My daughter who was hurt in the effort of your klique to punish me is a real person with real feelings. Yes, you are part of the this clique the minute you excuse such inexcusable behavior merely because someone is part of your circle of “friends”. It isn’t measured by if someone can come to your door or throw a rock and hit you in the head. If you and yours don’t straighten up your going to end up driving some poor kid to suicide. That is what is possible here. Get a clue!
Well, most of my real life friends read my blog to keep up with me. I used enough generalities that there is no way anyone who doesn’t know about the site would be able to figure out that it is me. So I’m not too worried about it….
I doubt it. In fact, I’d really enjoy bumping in to a few Xangans.
yes it already happened to a certain extent
Sometimes when I’m at work, I mistake myself for Tina Hawt. My coworker will ask, “Hey, did you finish your project?” and I’ll reply, “Wow, two eprops for reminding me. Stuff like that keeps me from earning a TRUE badge. What I’ll go ahead and do is recommend that you do the work and I’ll vote five stars on it.” Then I walk away.
I don’t share anything on xanga I would be ashamed to say in person. You need to know the boundaries and which things NOT to share. Just like a good writer know– you have to know when to not say anything at all.
I’m the same person online as I am in person.
I actually met my boyfriend on facebook the summer before we went to college together, so i think that counts as virtual-real life collision, heh.
Colliding? That’s a word that paints a picture in one’s mind! Haha. Let’s see, back to the question, I was invited to Xanga by a college friend. My family members (those who are willing to check my blog due to their schedules) and some friends know of this site, but that does not bother me. I told them about this site. As far as colliding, I do not have a separate identity here. Now, if we are talking about giving specific information, since I write (at times) about my work as a teacher I use pseudonyms and stick to general information as far as places, persons, etc. without sacrificing my personal reaction/story.
I have not written about anything incriminating, but it would make me uncomfortable that people IRL would read some personal thoughts.
Yes, it would. That is why even on my Protected posts, I don’t give real names or tell where exactly I live etc. I’m very guarded on here because there is such a thing as exposing too much online.
that is something to thank about but something else to thank about is if you think you know a person for seven years and you find out that you don’t really know them what then
Mine has as well.
Though it died when my friends/everyone else left Xanga.
Though I still wish they’d come back every now and again.
Yeah, it bites me in the ass sometimes. But no matter.
They are currently colliding! It wouldn’t be that big of a deal except that they are misinterpreting every single thing I’ve said on my site for like the last six months. Very frustrating!
that is someting to think about but what if you think you know someone after seven years and then you find out one day when your talking that you realyy don’t know anything about that person
i don’t see the two (virtual and actual life) as separate. i see virtual life as a part of actual life. i am communicating with real people online (despite never being absolutely certain if they are who they claim they are) and i am a real person using the internet. so i don’t feel uncomfortable at all.
nope.
It has and I just kept on, but now I’m a little more careful. Especially since lately there have been more footprints coming from google.
Not really – I rarely say anything on my blog that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face if pressed. If I were worried about my online activities biting me in the butt I wouldn’t do them – we live in the information age after all…
They did, and I’m fine with it, but I did remove a lot of old posts full of angst and suffering.
yeah man
already does.. :shrug: I have nothing to hide
I guess the question would depend on how many Xanga people I knew in the real world.
I personally know four Xanga friends in real life, but only one remains active. And he’s a good bud that I’ve known for years and can basically trust.
So based on that, my answer is…
NO, it wouldn’t make me feel uncomfortable if these two worlds collide.
Most of the time I don’t care and would rather that it did, if that makes any sense. However, I have Xanga lock on so that not just anyone can get to my site.
I actually hope to meet some Xanga friends IRL some time this year.
if it happens it happens. but neither is what i am all about so if someone calls me out in my real life about what i write on here then it’s ok. if someone from here meets me in real life for only a few moments/days they still don’t know what im all about. because they’ve only met one part of me.
yep
I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, but I try to be careful of what personal things I put out there.
I’ve certainly gotten in trouble for what I’ve posted on my blog before, it’s the main reason why I’m apprehensive about anyone I know reading it. The problem is, I’m just bluntly truthful about everything. I’ve learned to put certain posts on private or protected though. For me, I really don’t care if some stranger is reading my drama… but apparently the people involved in my drama do. Go figure.
Well, sicme most of my family reads Xanga, it already collides. I just have to make sure that I don’t say anything too offensive, or say things I wouldn’t say to their face etc. I also keep a lot more really personal details personal.
I wouldn’t mind chillin with some of the people I’ve come across on here. Wouldn’t be uncomfortable at all, they’re pretty BA people.
They already do, so it wouldn’t really have too much of an impact. o_O
I protected post if it’s something personal. I use my Xanga to improve my writing and share commentary or anecdotes. My protected list is comprised of my Xanga trusted people, and those I know in real life…and trust.
since mine is a personal blog really i guess it doesn’t matter for me.
In my world, both “lives” are the same. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not online, and I wouldn’t write anything I wouldn’t feel comfortable speaking out in real life.
No not really since my Xanga is based on me if it collided I would have to say that either the readers take it or leave it.. I am not really concerned since I am pretty much the same person here as in real life too.
I have learned to make sure anything I post would survive a collision with with my non-virtual life.
So you live in Texas.. My mother lives there somewhere. I don’t know which part. Maybe you’ll run in to her one day and then you can say that you ran into a blogger’s mother.
it might bother me a little bit. but it’s funny because i’ve met some of my best friends through random sites such as xanga, and fb.
Years ago, it might have.
If you’ve got nothing to hide … there’s no reason to fear worlds that collide.
Hello, my name is Dr. Seuss.
haha no…… i’m kinda used to it…. but i don’t feel that it is uncomfortable.
veryyyy much so.
i’m pretty secretive in real life as it is, so yeah.
as you’ve noticed, i’m incredibly vague sometimes. this is why i prefer posting photos mostly.
my dad use to read my xanga, then a bunch of family members asked for the web address. i’d forget they had it, then my dad would ask me questions about what i meant by something. i swear a lot and my grandparents read the site. so i got this new one…and my fucking ex boyfriends found me. i had a few different problems with this. mostly they come to my site to check up on me, see what i’m doing and with who, and use whatever i say on my site as reasons to disapprove of what i do. this bothers me bit because i don’t care about them or their lives one bit and i’d prefer they left me alone.
xanga didn’t use to be like this though. when i first started, it was all irl friends and no one cared about the stupid shit we care about now. now they all use myspace constantly.
I don’t really care. I have so many actual private diaries that I can write in for personal things.
My boyfriend and I even share a cute journal with a lock. It’s really sweet, actually.
It didn’t make me feel uncomfortable when it collided, but I got in trouble. Since then, I had learned to be careful what I write on here.
Yes. I would be in so much trouble.
I don’t have a virtual life. I write about my real life for real family and friends. If anyone else finds it remotely interesting I’d be incredibly surprised.
It would certainly be uncomfortable when your real life and virtual life collide. And the best option is as suggested by many people who commented, to keep a protected list. But somehow it just doesn’t work that way anymore and so, I pretty much stopped blogging about things too private. Otherwise I would just hint and not give too much details. It’s still awkward though, when people who’ve read it ask about it, I can’t possibly deny and I’d much rather keep it to myself. So yeah, it gets uncomfortable but I wouldn’t give up blogging.
You’ve an interesting blog. =)
I would find it to be quite hilarious.
it’ll be totally cool..
To some degree. Haha..
Sort of…it depends how you look at it. I share stories and problems that I have in life on Xanga, but I don’t share the exact details of everything. There’s also a forum that I go on where I do share details about my life. But then again, no one knows my last name or where I live. So I don’t know if that still means that I’m letting both worlds collide….
Well it would shock me really.
I am different in reality than online.
So if it collides, it’s catastrophe.
not at all – im the same person [mostly] online and in person.
As I just wrote about “freedom”, this is why I don’t feel I can say everything I would like. You have to realize that there are many eyes and ears watching and waiting for you to say something. Unless I want my blog to be totally private (which I find boring), then you have to accept how it is. Some would say, “Screw it!” and then write whatever. I feel like there are still some things that just don’t need to be said. Peer pressure? Upbringing? Checking yourself? Not sure. Just the way it is.
Nah, I don’t think it ever would collide, really.
isnt that why there are privacy settings on blogs?
I only blog what my real life is
Becker
yes!
well, except my xanga is “public” in the way that a lot of people know my xanga, i’ve mentioned my friends/family’s names, etc. so my xanga isn’t meant to be anonymous. and then when i only want my friends to read it, i’ll put protected on it. though i am hesitant to put Private ones, because more than once, I have subscribed to a friend, and I’ve received their post that should have obviously been “private.”
but i do have other online accounts that are anonymous, and i would not want the people i know to know them. some things you just want to be able to express without people who already know you reading it. it’s uncomfortable, lol.
EDIT:
lol, loser011 put what i tried to say a lot better than how i put it. on my xanga, i blog about my real occurrences! lol.
For me Xanga and real life have already collided. It caused a little worry. Now I’m just a little more careful on my blog
Well…. yes i suppose. I post my opinions on my blog that I know my family would not agree with and therefore I’m glad most of my family and friends are not on xanga.
I should hope that it wouldn’t bother me too badly seeing as they collide all the time.
It wouldn’t bother me any if my virtual life and real life collide. I don’t carry on a “secret virtual life” that I “need” to keep hidden for fear that those in my “real life” might find out. Guess I’m just a boring stay at home mom… or maybe I’m just HONEST and OPEN like that.
Who I am on Xanga, and who I am in real life, are the same. My family members have Xanga, and we all read each other’s blogs. Many from church have had Xangas, or read ours. My husband and I have actually done marriage counseling with 2 couples from church, on Xanga (protected posts of course). A large number of my Xanga friends I have met, some multiple times. Our pastor even had a Xanga for a while, and read our posts. It’s not a problem.
i often tel RL’ers about my VL and they rarely stop – never commented, nor do they come back as far as i know…
Nope. I don’t blog about anything important and any more most of the people I blog with are ones I know in real life anyway.
Plus I’ve actually met quite a few people in real life that I met online. No, I don’t go around giving out my address, and we’ve always met in public places with our families. Like debate tournaments, dog shows, the Creation Museum. And in a couple weeks I’m hopefully meeting someone I met on a forum at the homeschool convention.
I could be wrong but is this more of a question of.. “Is your real life parallel to your virtual life?” That’s a nice thing to ponder on. Coz I believe that there are a lot of online personalities that we can never see in real life. Like the “character” that my father is trying to have. He is faking, (please note the tense: IS—) a personality. Like he is a 23-year old guy, single, and is in need of a love life. I hope his virtual and real life collide. So that he will wake up from this daze. He is hurting my mom with what he’s doing.
Probably not. I’m a pretty open person in general, I just like having a secret Xanga because…well I really don’t have secrets. I mean there are things about me some people know and others don’t, but I don’t really have an honest to goodness secret that only I know about myself. But I have been considering lately of telling John about my Xanga…I don’t know hwy.
Dear Dan:
The problem stems from having a “virtual life” in the first place. The internet is a medium of communication. It’s not an alternate reality. Or, at least, it shouldn’t be. Your real life should be your one and only.
In this pop culture climate that young people grow up in these days, it can be easy for them to confuse the two. For myself, I decided early that I wouldn’t fall into that trap. When you post on cyberspace, your words become a more or less permanent record. Anyone can read them and backtrack them. That’s why it’s important to be honest and consistant… just as you would when addressing a group of people in person or by letter.
That’s why I usually post my comments in letter form. And, as I am an adult, I never seek to hide my identity. Children and young women, obviously, should not do this as they are vulnerable to online predators. But they should never forget that careless words and phrases when commenting can endanger them. They must also keep in mind that manners and morals do not end when they go online. Neither does reality.
no, I learned my lesson in college. I never blog about anything or anyone that I would be uncomfortable having read by my family, friends, or co-workers. Any anonymity you think you have is fleeting.
I have always related to the truth about what my life is all about in my Xanga site. I think people might believe I was dreaming up some of it (and not believe it is true). The truth comes back to you the same as it was before. Patterns of behavior by others and ways they relate to it are other ways I know the truth. I always know by those ways. No one needs to assure me that what I say is true. I know it is so.
I relate to my Christian walk with Christ, being identified with Jesus as being the same person as myself. We share the same mind. …Love, Sande
I guess it would depend on the comments! Several I have come to know have revealed “shocking” things. Maybe one function of these things can be a healing place where you feel you CAN share some things that could be hard other places. MOST of my xanganon friends had great receptions….another one was able to simply maneuver away.
Looks ok to me, fortunately
Fuck yes.
@Lilpinkbunny -
I think everyone needs a personal space to write about how they truly feel without feeling judged. We tend to sugarcoat things when sharing things with people we actually know in person.
my thoughts exactly my thoughts exactly
I hope no one I know reads my blog or they would judge me entirely
I would not be uncomfortable, because I feel that I am the same person in the same life both on line and in real life. I use the same name everywhere and never really try to hide my identity any more than necessary. If you are honest in all areas of your life you should not have to worry about the lives colliding. One should be able to pull all their worlds together and it should mesh in harmony if all is right in their world.
Yeh if a stranger knew who I was. Don’t know that I’d like meeting on the net.
No in terms of I try to be mostly discreet, though honest. I think I have little separation between the two. But that I try to choose to have integrity with the things I share. If I don’t want the world (or my closest ppl) to know, I wouldn’t write it.