June 1, 2008
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Women and the Horse Alibi
Sometimes a discussion from my photoblog needs to come out to the weblog.
Do you think all of these women who say that virgins don’t always bleed their first time are just covering for each other?
Sometimes a discussion from my photoblog needs to come out to the weblog.
Do you think all of these women who say that virgins don’t always bleed their first time are just covering for each other?
Comments (130)
Of course not, maybe the guy was just small.
Oh, brother.
^ yeah…maybe he was hung like a ken doll!
I.. actually have nothing else to say, besides “oh, brother”,
It doesn’t always happen. Physically, everyone is different and a combination of things can result in bleeding or not. It’s absolutely medieval to require it of a bride. AND if newlyweds are quabbling about something like deceit about this as early as their wedding night, they obiously don’t trust each other enough to be happily married anyway.
Nah…to be honest, I didn’t bleed my first time. It didn’t occur to me at the time that I was supposed to, either, so I was really worried when a friend told me that she bled! We thought she was dying or something, lol! Lots of girls don’t bleed their first time. The hymen can break naturally during any number of physical activities.
Dan I never bled and I was rather young. I hate horses so I can’t blame them
People are gonna think you’re really curious, Dan. You’re too funny.
I don’t know. We’ll have to ask the horses.
I didn’t bleed either, my first time. It is possible.
umm, wow dan.
@huginn - …hahahaha
They are.
Why do we even care?
ha, you think it’s some big conspiracy or something?
i thought all girls bled too, until i read all these comments saying otherwise.
Dan, apparently you feel this is blog worthy. Not sure why. My answer is “no.”
no, they really don’t. it depends on the size of her hymen, and the size of the man’s penis.
also, wouldn’t not bleeding your first time be a good thing? it’s a total mood killer when the guy announces there’s blood all over the sheets and his dick.
hahaha girls can tear their hymen from almost anything! -_-
Wow it took me too long to understand what you were getting at with those pictures. XD Maybe they are covering for eachother! Haha.
no that is silly and if they do bleed (which I never did either) it’s not very much, it’s such a small amount she may not even notice.
…youre so special.
the hymen can tear from a number of things. and some women also are born without one…
what good would it do us to cover for other women? i don’t think women feel a need to “cover” other women if they actually did lose their virginity previously and want to lie about it. are we supposed to cover for each other? i’m pretty sure most just feel like they’re stating the facts when they say that…
@StrongLetterI -
hahaha!
god, I can’t read anymore of these comments. This topic is like a scab. Kinda gross, but I still feel the need to pick at it (aka keep reading). I think I’ll resist the urge before I get nauseous.
Is the bleeding really important or is it just a cultural thing that went out of control in trying to moniter the sexual practice among women?
No, horseback riding can tear it, same with tampons. Mine was broken due to a big wheel accident and it hurt like a mother. I’m glad it wasn’t there to be torn during my first time or else it would’ve been awful I imagine.
Dan, just shut up…
*facepalm*
Dan you totally deserve this…. *Kicks you in the head*
No, it can definitely tear for reasons other than sex.
I bled.
*nod* I was born without a hymen. However, I did bleed “my first time”–due to the fact that it was rape–I had massive amounts of vaginal tearing.
My first time having CONSENSUAL sex, I didn’t bleed, because my boyfriend was gentle.
nope. hymen can break from being highly active, very flexible or even from a tampon. quit complaining, be happy you didn’t get bled on.
-.-
I had a friend who tore her hymen In a BMX dare devil accident when she was 7 – can we blame BMX Bandits?
No. I didn’t bleed, but I’m not ashamed to say I’m not a virgin.
And his size wasn’t the problem.
No. Some women actually do break their hymen before they have sex, through things like horseback riding, bicycle riding, or wearing a tampon that’s too big.
@huginn - SWING!
oh gawd! this matters??
oh dan….
everyones pretty much said it.. you don’t always bleed the first time…
i once met someone and we got on the topic of he only liked virgins.. and i was curious as to why only virgins.. [[mental reason or WHAT?]] then he told me … it was just because he like having them bleed. [[may like a sign to him that 'that' was 'his' ? i dont know. ]] but what happens when he goes to have sex with a girl whos a virgin and DOESNT bleed? hem HAHA
The hymen can break for a number of reasons. There’s is no physical way to prove whether or not someone is a virgin. Go ask any doctor.
@whataboutbahb - ha, that’s how i felt reading the comments to and from that crazy guys on the photoblog about the 13 year old girl on myspace. I READ THEM ALL.
anyway, has anyone seen the movie teeth? it’s about a girl who is very active in a local abstinence only group who discovers her vagina has teeth when a boy at school tries to rape her. there’s a hilarious scene at the gynocologist’s office. i think mostly women will find it to be a funny movie though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH8yuld4DUE
vagina dentata is something that i would cover for.
Of more import is this – why do they have closed stirrups on the beach?
Depends, did you bleed on your first time? Period!
I do NOT think so. I believe that some women don’t bleed at first time.
No. I did not bleed my first time. Of course, I had been masturbating. Sports will also tear down the hymen. It’s usual these days to find fully intact hymens.
By the way, only a guy would ask this question.
No. Sometimes they really don’t bleed. A woman’s hymen can be broken by sorts of things, like horseback riding ( referring to your picture), or when a tampon is inserted, or when masturbating. And some women aren’t even born with hymens.
That’s the most ignorant and horribly antedeluvian, misogynist thing I’ve heard in a long time.
well. they bleed every month.
i’m offended that you would even ask this question. :
i didn’t bleed my first time
but im glad i didn’t.
who wants bloody sheets?
Heh, I know some cross country women that would happily tell you where, when and even how they lost it (usually in some stable at 14 to some new stable boy
so as wonderfully delicious as that conspiracy would be, I just know it isn’t the case 
what wrong with not being a virgin?
Uhhh, no. This topic is ridiculous.
Covering for each other? No. It’s usually not that important.
odd question honestly… what with all of these posts on bleeding and virginity.
Like its been stated not all girls do. So why would they “cover” and im not so familar with the horse alibi
Dan what’s with the virginity posts all of a sudden?
I don’t care who or how many women my hubby has been with he is with me.. why should it matter. As for the next blog in some religions i guess it is a very bad thing… but to me who cares…
This blog has taken a decidedly misogynistic turn lately.
@huginn oh man you are beating Amandasbiggestfan @ these punchlines
@whataboutbahb - bah, you’re on xanga? AND you read this site? you’re my favorite friend of jt’s.
anyway dan, i had a guy ask me this question once and we looked it up and it’s true, you don’t always bleed your first time.
I just noticed this, but in the second picture, the girl on the right has fake boobs.
Why would we cover up for each other?
@be_lie - Good point.
I faint at the sight of blood. Real manly of me.
Wow, I just responded to this on another site. I don’t know who was first.
jist: women don’t need to cover for each other until men start being held to the same standard. OMG I’m a feminist all the sudden
second part of jist: You don’t have to bleed, duh. It isn’t always in tact long enough for a virgin spinster to get married and, big AND, LOL, it does, will and can break with straddling activities that don’t envolve men, such as horse back riding.
Just a me-thought
Now ask them for a picture of their boobies!!!
I say “less history, more mystery”!
no idea?? i guess so.. haha
I think they are covering it up
I’m a virgin and no one ever believes me before even getting the chance to make me bleed, so why even fake the virginity thing. no one believes it anyways.
@SuperEvilPopTart64 - I’m sorry you had to go through that. But kudos to you for moving past it in at least two aspects of your life (consensual and talking about it).
Um, no.
I’m going to click off of this particular post…..and never speak of it again.
everyones different, i didnt..i think..idk i dont remember it
I don’t care if my significant other is a virgin or has had more sex than Jenna Jameson and Sylvia Saint combined. But, I’d like for her NOT to lie about it when I ask. Would that be a deal-breaker after I marry someone that lied about it? Probably not, but we’d have a pretty long discussion about it. For casual sex, I wouldn’t even ask the question at all.
I never bled my first time and from what I’ve read on this post of altogether TMI, a lot of others haven’t , either
Or maybe we are all lying to you.
Can’t a tampon break the hymen too?
Oh, shut up Dan. :p
<33
No. Not at all.
http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic101014.html
Found a topic on a health forum that backs up my answer of no.
Ok, here’s the deal: Chicks, we don’t really care if you bled or not. That’s not of importance and its a little too much information for some people (I’m not included, btw). Dan asked if we as females conspired. We don’t. Dan, ask any doctor and he will tell you the same thing all these girls are telling you, having sex for the first time is not the only thing that tears the hymen.
Okay, now I’m going to step on the feminist pedestal for a moment. In this day in age with all the medical knowledge we have and the more laxed morals where it has become mostly accepted that people have pre-martial sex, why is it still important that a woman be proved a virgin on her wedding night through bloody sheets? This goes back to the days where women were under the control of men and the men could pretty much do what they wanted. We are past that stage in history. Women are just as important as men now, why hold the standard that girls have to be virgins at marriage and guys don’t? We are all up in arms about proving that women are virgins, or bleed or not, when we just rely on a guy’s word on whether or not he’s a virgin at marriage- there’s nothing to prove his word. Well guess what, with the things that can tear a hymen combined with the fact that some women don’t have one, women don’t exactly have a way to prove virginity either. In other words, we should stop trying to prove virginity with blood because it doesn’t work since its not an accurate way to prove it. There are many cultures around the world that still expect the bloody sheets and whatnot, but they need to find another custom (that’s still humane, I’m not talking female genital mutilation or anything here) that will insure virginity until marriage, with the idea that it cannot be proved with either males or females.
I’m finished.
Are you trying to weasel a different answer out of us? I smell a fishing expedition…
@soitsme - If you tell your husband-to-be that you’re a virgin, if you’re not, then that’s a WHOLE other issue. I think it’s less about it being “archaic” than it is about being honest. Most guys who have sex before marriage are comfortable if their wives have, too — as long as she’s honest about it up front.
@desesperada - Thank you, hun. Thank you. *thunderous applause* I’ve given up on even saying anything around here anymore.
@nimbusthedragon - Honestly, I just say my piece and don’t bother reading any other comments.
I always thought it was weird how books ALWAYS depict the virgin bleeding a bit after sex, b/c I didn’t. At least not that I was aware of. But maybe that’s b/c I’d already used tampons?
This is why I’m scare of, guys who think like you and that Muslim divorcey. I’m a virgin but, what happen if I don’t bleed when I have my first intercourse? Is he going to be mad and question my virginity. Why do men always question women’s virginity but not vice versa? Such a double standard!
@soitsme - You preach about feminism, but you also mention that “laxed morals where it has become mostly accepted that people have pre-martial sex, why is it still important that a woman be proved a virgin on her wedding night through bloody sheets?”
I’m not trying to pick a fight here, because I’ve learned it’s mostly pointless on this page, but I just want you to be aware of what you’re saying. You seem to claim that feminine equality automatically equates to sexual freedom, something that you’ve coined, by your sentence structure, as a negative thing. You said that “laxed” morals are seemingly the cause for this sort of liberation.
I’d like to point out that sexual freedom, as long as one is safe and moderate, (like everything else in life, I’d argue) is not a question of “loose” morals. You’re dating your own so-called modern feminist view by saying so, in my opinion.
And you also argue that we should seek to prove this with blood because yes, I agree, it is not a failsafe method. However, I would also argue that proving virginity at all, is an offensive and degrading practice as a whole. I think that’s what you were trying to say… but be wary of how you say it, lest you set us back a couple hundred years.
Anyway, this question, like most on Dan’s site, was inherently loaded. Dan, I have trouble respecting your blog, as you know, because I feel you ask questions heavy with your own opinion, which lack objectivity.
Furthermore, I’m not sure what it is you’re after by asking these questions. If you enjoy the debates, then that’s fine, but it would be nice to hear back from you, even if you might disagree with my opinions of matters discussed. It would simply add credibility to your blog, which otherwise seems to be like a traffic-mongering reader-trap.
But I have to give you a thumbs up for being able to stir up controversy every time, and getting responses out of people. At this, you definitely succeed. But at seeming like a fair-minded, non-backward, non-prejudiced arsepick… sometimes, you fail. This being one of them.
Anyway, I’m out.
@desesperada - Agreed. Sometimes, I really want to tell everyone here: “SHUT THE FUCK UP, CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT’S GOING ON HERE???” But it seems like granting these questions that kind of attention somehow just fuels the fire, too. Nice catch-22.
@nimbusthedragon - But it sure passes the time! Ha.
@desesperada - Agreed. So really, we’re no better than anyone else, here. *sigh* But I swear, sometimes I think it really IS DMV making fun of the masses.
I didn’t bleed my first time.
@nimbusthedragon - Except for our elevated vocabulary and smashing good looks!
But yea… You know. Probably. Hey! Why not.
Does it really matter? The above comments are right; it can be already torn away from many other things – horseback riding, tampons, gymnastics, bicycling, anything active or even an injury. A friend’s daughter tore hers at age 6 when we were at a playground and she fell into a playground pole – had to go to the ER and get stitched up, poor little girl.
I can’t believe some men would actually care about this or use this as a “proof” of virginity..
Were you just bored, being insultingly rhetorical or thought it would be funny to ask such an asinine question that you already obviously know the real answer to? Just wondering..
I dont remember bleeding the first time…who says that all women bleed anyway, is it a scientific fact that all women bleed. not only that, but is has been proven that the hymen can be broken by something as simple as riding a bike or a horse, even masterbation can cause the hymen to break…..
That’s the dumbest question! Come on!
I’ll say it again. As a woman, I would not cover for another woman. Because bitches aint shit but hos and tricks. And because I dont want to help out the competition.
LoL.. good question
@findingliberty - Don’t ever give any man the power over you to be mad for such a thing. If you do, he will rule every aspect of your relationship and you will be nothing more than a possession. Everybody deserves better than that – demand it.
personally.. i bleed like crazy.. and it was surprising, i have done horseback riding and always been active in sports. My best friend didn’t bleed her first time, and she never did those things.
The hymen comes in different shapes and sizes, and frankly also different elasticities…it’s totally irrelevant weather it brakes or not. I’m not a feminist, but it’s a very premedieval form of female suppression.
No, I don’t think women should lie about their ‘numbers’ purely because honesty should be valued, and in current times there are a lot of STD’s to worry about. In the same way however, men should be honest.
…then again.. that’s only in the ideal world, and this is NOT an ideal world.
Not at all.
Some women can either bleed a little or not at all when engaging in intercourse for the first time.
Yes, for whatever reason. For those men who need a lesson of birds and bees and women who think we are too dumb to know the difference. During intercourse, a virgins hymen is destroyed. A hymen is fleshy tissue filled with a blood supply, just as any other part of our body. When that is torn, blood ensues. How much of it may vary, but it still happens. If loosing virginity for a man was just as painful or bloody, do you think we would be the horndogs we are?
Yeah, this isn’t a good topic for a blog.
@xXsecretXsweetsXx -
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
they dont!
i didnt bleed the first time!
the hymen can tear before you even start have sex. It’s not very difficult to break.
No sometimes the hymen breaks from falling or from bike riding. It can break from anything.
This is a creepy question.
And the photographs add to the creepiness. *cringes*
What’s this opposession about women’s virginity?
You never type about male’s virginity.
It’s suspicious.
oppsession* !
@trebleclef402 - Thank you (for the kudos.) :] Yes, it’s a terrible thing to go through, but at least I can try and do some good (raise awareness, etc.).
Nah, I didn’t bleed my first time either, and I was actually shocked that I hadn’t, since I’d never rode a horse and I’m not a gymnist.
I am actually not sure myself.
But what a facetious blog! haha
lol, its possible, i suppose
If blood during sex = virgin, then every female must be a virgin 3-7 days each month…
Not entirely.
Are guys really that insecure? Some ladies bleed, some don’t. Get over it!
Just be glad you don’t have to go through bloodiness, and in some cases, pain. Men have it good, so quit asking silly questions!
nahhh…
you can pop your cherry a lot of ways… mine’s popped and i’m a virgin
Lame topic for a blog. Insulting, actually. I didn’t bleed my first time, and before that I had never “fooled around”.
No. I didn’t bleed my first time. It just depends on the girl.
No, not all women do. I didn’t, but then again, he was kinda small.
Horses? K, I’ve never heard of that. Enlighten me on the horses and not bleeding theory. . .I’m just kind of curious b/c I never bled, and I was an avid rider in my early teens. Wait am I gullible? Suddenly, I think you’re making this up.
i have been riding horses for 15 years, reguardless of having my period or not.A few months ago, I lost my virginity.I have never bleed due to sex. that doesnt mean im a slut or nething else. it simply means that my skin had either ripped prior due to riding, or i never had one.but its not something that women have come up with to cover nething up.
it’s archaic to think that a woman’s hymen breaking is proof undeniable of her virginity. we know that it can break from all sorts of activities, most of which aren’t sexual…
That being said:
I’m pretty sure that if she feels comfortable enough to sleep with someone, she’d be comfortable enough to tell about her previous sexual encounters. If she’s a virgin, why would she lie about it in today’s society where it’s not common for women to maintain their virginity past age 20? what would be the motivation.
it comes down to trust. either you believe her or not.
and if you don’t then you probably don’t deserve to sleep with her anyways.
No, absolutely not.
*sigh* let me reiterate. I did not bleed the first time I had sex. And I had been athletic and I had used tampons. And I know I was a virgin and I didn’t bleed. So there. It’s not a cover. Sometimes, yeah I’m sure some girls will lie about it. But not always.
How could you say that?
I don’t mean to repeat myself, but the only case of that I’ve heard of is when a girl had been raped and her boyfriend wanted to take her virginity but she couldn’t tell him that she wasn’t a virgin.
I didn’t bleed either. I’d say take a poll of who bled their first time but that might be considered obscene.
why do we care?