June 18, 2008
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The Death of Barney
As I mentioned in my pulse update, I walked into the daycare where my wife used to work and I got the attention of the children and told them “Barney is dead.”
As I mentioned in my pulse, it was my wife’s last day of work so it was ok to tell the children that Barney had died.
Which children’s play character would you most like to see die a slow and miserable death?
Comments (168)
the telly tubbies
first!
dammit, second.
I am sooooo glad. Next: the Wiggles.
dora the explorer and telly tubbies
Barney!
The above.
And the Teletubbies.
And that knock-off of the Wiggles with the weird wigs and face paint.
Pretty much everyone except Pooh and Fraggle Rock characters…
Barney was still around? I thought he was long gone. You picked a good one!
Kathi
Barney. Without a doubt.
Heh heh….Barney’s the one.
Or sponge bob. If he counts as a “childs play character.”
The Teletubbies, The Wiggles, The Doodlebops, and Hip Hop Harry. Hopefully all at once, and soon.
kill any of them off?? jeeez, I’m still trying to get over the passing of mr. greenjeans and cap’t kangaroo
Barney was a good choice,he is orange and green on my mom’s tv and the kids can not understand it.
there are just too many to have just one. I could list them all but then I would take up too much space.
teletubbies definitely
I would say teletubbies but those things on that damn show “Boohbah” freak me out a hell of a lot more!!!
Oh, thank God. I thought you meant Don Knotts had died. Wait…maybe he’s already dead???
Spongebob.
I love the Muppets, but Elmo drives me nuts. I wouldn’t shed tears if he died. Seedsower tried to kill him once, but he survived.
Dora!
Do you did NOT do that.
Tell me you didn’t do that.
But, I’d pick the guy that took Steve’s place on Blue’s Clues. Was it “Joe”?
Yeah. Him.
Oh that is so easy. The teletubbies. They suck.
I hate Barney almost as much though.
God doesn’t exist.
how does it feel?
Let’s see…
-Barney
-any of the Sesame Street Characters except possibly the cookie monster and Elmo (they can just be hogtied and tortured.)
-the teletubbies
-Winnie the Pooh
That is all the Children’s characters I can think of right now so it is all I listed though any and all others would probably qualify.
Teletubbies. I once spent five minutes in mind-blowing awe over the inane idiocy of that…abomination called a children’s show. I was watching Indiana Jones and Star Wars at that targeted age (with Blankey firmly over my head in certain places, of course).
@trebleclef402 - and Elmo can die a slow and tortuous death as well. Just for kicks.
Zack and Cody.
Lola the Explorer.
Barney
Barney had too many plums; thus his purple complexion.
I really have no idea.
You…. you corrupted the minds of young children? SHAME!
Doodle bops. and Elmo.
Pikachuu.
Or miss piggy.
All of them, in a funeral pyre
Time for telly-bye-bye!
Tele-Tubbies. Horrid HORRID show
big bird because he forgot to fly.
Rush Limbaugh.
Gonzo and his chicken fetish always bothered me.
Next would be the doodlebops. well, ok except for the drummer.
And Anthony was the best Wiggle. Give the guy a break.
Barney for sure. I used to babysat some kids that were absolutely addicted to Barney. I hated watching him with them. He’s horrendous.
Jesus. Because many children carry him into adulthood.
Barney is good for me.
Joy to the world, now Barney’s dead!
We BBQ his head!
What happened to his body?
We flushed it down the potty…
Round and round it goes,
Round and round it goes
round annnnd roundddd and round it goes!
(to the tune of Joy to the World)
Something I learned in 4th grade, haha.
teletubbies and the wiggles (I think they may be pedophiles actually). What was that yellow dinosaur pal to Barney? Him too.
Barney. Then the Wiggles. Then the annoying girl with pink hair from …. whateverthehellthatshowis.
@mkenyon719 - Oh man! I was trying to come up with that while reading this post. *goes around singing*
Hannah Montanna.
Teletubbies have earned my ire (as well as boobah). Barney and Sesame Street actually taught kids things (their one redeeming quality despite the annoying nature of some episodes), but Teletubbies and Boobah just make you go
. More recent ones…I don’t know the names because I haven’t been exposed to them (but I do recall being driven crazy by some children’s TV show during a vacation with my little cousins).
Dora the Explorer. Goddamnit I hate her!
Sponge bob!! I fucking hate sponge bob!!
Deigo can go rot as well.
AS LONG AS NO ONE KILLS THE NINJA TURTLES.
Poor Barney. Sad for children.
I would choose a girl called Dora
Audacity is right… =:p
Remember when Bill Nye the Science Guy was on? No, I’m not saying I want him dead… but while his show was still on there was a kind of poor-man’s version of him out there… an abomination of nature with freaky hair and a guy dressed like a rat for a sidekick. It was like Yahoo Serious meets Mr. Wizard. That show degraded all involved.
I’m not saying I want him dead either… but I want the memory of the show wiped from my brain.
Damn…I never knew how grim you people were.
I don’t hate any of those characters, sure they’re annoying but jesus christ, just change the channel! I don’t hate any of them enough to want them dead.
spongebob, teletubbies, and ronald mcdonald.
The Teletubbies annoyed me greatly.
All of Dizney, and especially Mickey
i wish the teletubbies would go batshit and show pr0n on their tummy TV sets and get canceled
then die a slow, horrific death
via pit of leeches
I’m going to with Bratz dolls and Barbie dolls, particularly their tv shows. I absolutely hate ‘em!
@mrcolorful - winnie the pooh?
Dora the Explorer.
I hope she rots in hell.
<33
p.s. I really hope you didn’t do that…
Pokemon’s a silly phase
Barney’s now just purple haze
The Power Rangers lost their will to fight…
…and Kermit’s still hot, ’cause it’s still not
Easy being…..green.
Those weird yo gabba gabba things. My little sisters Idea of family time is having us sit down and watch them over and over!!!
Oh man there are so mahy that bug the crap out of me. Barney, Telly Tubbies, The Wiggles, Sponge Bob, Steve from blues clues, basically everyone mentioned here.
I would love for Chuck from Chuck-E-Cheese’s die…..I would LOVE it.
Spongebob. *shudder*
Have you ever noticed that Barney doesn’t have shoulders? I don’t trust dinosaurs without shoulders!
DJ Lance, actually all of the Yo Gabba Gabba gang. That show makes me die a little each time it’s on.
Oh boy, Barney’s on fire
This is what we’ve always desired
We’ll watch the flames get higher
Just don’t try to put him out..
And Spongebob. I can’t stand Spongebob.
dora.
No need to kill any off. Just bring Mr. Dress Up back from the dead.
That black guy in the weirdo orange hat on Yo Gabba Gabba. Just creepy really.
Spongebob and Dora the Explorer.
@fullmetalbunny - aw- no way man — i loved beakman’s world…
@fullmetalbunny - aw… I thought everyone loved beakman… I mean… I liked Nye better, but still….
Elmo could use a good blow to the head.
@pamilvr - @WordFlyerJosh - Why isn’t anyone complaining about all the Spongebob haters who are with us today!? I stand by my decision!!! =:p
@fullmetalbunny - lol -i think it’s a generational issue – oldfartz<3 beakman –youngwhippersnapprz-bob…as a matter of fact – one of my contemporaries has a t shirt i love –drunkbobnopants…see gotta bring it around to something we understand…
Ohmygoodness!!! I loved Barney! But I hate the Wiggles with a passion
Oh, please. Sponge Bob.
barneyyyyyyyyyyyyy
haha
thats irresponsible that you would say that to kids
Barney’s been dead.
I hate you, you hate me, let’s string Barney from a tree, with a great big stick we’ll hit him in the head, we’re so glad that Barney’s dead. (this is what my kids used to sing when they thought they were too old and too cool for Barney.)
I also thought Baby Bop was way worse.
As Kirk said it best, “Let them die.”
@k8tthelate - I was just thinking about Captain Kangaroo the other day!
I would go with Barney. I love the Wiggles. We played Fruit Salad at our wedding just for my nephew.
Barney!!!!!
I think wishing death upon a fictional character is stopping short of the problem.
Of course, wishing death on anybody is a really extreme reaction.
Teletubbies and Spongebob should have disappeared a long time ago.
Does Jar Jar Binks count?
i would say the wiggles, only i’m pretty sure bindi irwin would be very upset. they’re always doing shit together, and she’s such a cute well mannered girl.
boobah is the creepiest thing i’ve ever seen, but it gets kids to exercise.
i really don’t like drake and josh, jimmy neutron, and hannah montana.
yo gabba gabba is an awesome kids show, featuring members from the aquabats, mark mothersbaugh, and biz makie.
@GhostBenjimon - Rush Limbaugh would be an AWESOME cartoon character. I can see it now, little dittoheads running amuck…amuck amuck amuck
@TakingxOverxMe - Get rid of Dora’s backpack and she would be history! Boots is cool though!
@UnworthyofHisgrace - Whatever those glowing things are in your profile picture I swear they look like glowsticks.
@pamilvr - beakman! I didn’t want him to die, I was strangely attracted to him.
@GhostBenjimon - Oh that…man I had KNOW idea what the crap you were talking about. Thats an empty tomb with Christs burial wrap supposedly laying on the ground. It’s the only empty tomb I could find on the internet. I thought your glowstick comment was some sort of codeword or something. Heck these days ya never know what ANYTHING means anymore!
God answered my prayers. Burn in hell Barney, you scary purple child molester!
I think Barney is the perfect character to kill off.
Casey from “Mr. Dressup”. That fucking puppet gave me nightmares. Finnigan rocked, though.
The citizens of Lazytown.
Can you just resurrect Barney and kill him again?
ELMO!!! man – that puppet grates my cheese
ELMO!!
teletubbies all the way.
just shove them in a bus and let the bus crash.
Sponge bob. It is time for him to go.
Barney!
elmo! haha. i remember those elmo sound waves that people made where he sings in the beginning then someone cuts him off and tells him to stfu and kills him. lol. i was once a barney fan.. haha
You are so mean! Felt sorry for those poor kids.
i really have this strong disliking of elmo.
so yeah, i choose him.
the teletubbies or the blobs on Boobah. I watched maybe 10 minutes of each of those shows, and I swear I felt brain cells dying….
Barney, Telly Tubbies.
I was fond of the muppets when I was a young one, and those goofy bands like The Wiggles and the such.
Bratz! All of them.
But Barney is pretty bad too…
kids love them and that is all that really matters.
dora and diego really grate on my nerves. it’s the whiney tone and high pitch of their voices. i can take barney over dora and diego.
I wouldn’t mind seeing Dora the Explorer rot.
Spongebob is my favourite..
dora the explorer. she is, afterall, an illegal immigrant.
;p
Of course Barney, but other than him maybe Dora. She’s creepy, she looks at you with those dead eyes for far too long. Diego is ok though, just Dora. The wiggles are annoying too, or maybe the Doodlebops, but of course I think you could just turn the Doodlebops into one big rug.
Oh and Handy Manny rules so he could take out Dora.
Spongebob fucking square pants.
Or Bob the Builder.
wow, i honestly don’t think anybody beats barney,he must the top one on everybody’s death wish list. I hate him, I despise him, I detest him, I hate how his arms look funny, his voice and most of all his stupid jumping. I am trying to think who else I hate…… nop nothing else comes up…
I HATE BARNEY!!!!
So many characters to choose from… but I can’t believe you really did that…… did you? oO
Yo Gabba Gabba. Horrendously reminiscent of Barney. Something perverted and pedophilia about it.
Teletubbies… one should get shot out of a cannon straight through the 2nd. The third burned at the stake. The 4th death by small tactical nuke.
Teletubbies. They make my skin crawl.
I think most kids shows today are ruining our nation’s children. If I am ever blessed enough to have kids, I’m buying classic Sesame Street and David the Gnome and all manner of older and better kids’ shows on DVD.
Okay, I know this post is old now and my words will not been seen by all of your subscribers..BUT, I love the teletubbies because they are creepy. I wonder if it could be possible that somewhere there may be a tribe of such.
Now Barney.. Kids loved him,so why hate? WHY?!?
And how do you mean that he is dead? His character?….The man behind the mask?..what?
Dora and Diego
and “Chica” from PBS Sprout’s “The Sunny-Side-Up Show.” The most annoying thing EVER invented.
And Tellitubbies.
You did that? Oh my…
Tweenies.
Thats a horrible thing to tell kids. No matter how annoying they are.
I didn’t like barney or the telletubbies anymore then the next parent but i would not tell a kid that mine or any other.
anything on Nick Jr. these days….
Barney was created in 1987 by Sheryl Leach of Dallas, Texas, USA. She came up with the idea for the program while considering TV shows that she felt would be educational and appeal to her son. Leach then brought together a team who created a series of home videos, Barney and the Backyard Gang, which also starred actress Sandy Duncan in the first 3 videos. Later, Barney was joined by the characters
Baby Bop
,
BJ
, and
Riff
.
@iammarlo - I HATE JOE! steve is sooooo much better. fuck joe I want steve..
I can’t STAND to watch it if it isn’t STEVE!~
Oh but the wonder pet.. that doesn’t know how to –and tawks wike she is a wittle waby!
uuuuuuugh…
The MAIN one I would like to see die is all the characters from……YO GABAGABA!!!!
“I break it down!” – The Scary Host of YO GABAGABA!!!!
I’m with you…Barney
ROFL!
I’d have to say teletubbies. They are just confusing, and scary. What sort of creature has a TV in its belly?!?
I think you’ve done us all a valuable service. Next on your list, Baby Bop.
If you know the theme song Barney sings, put these words to that tune and that expresses my feelings on Barney:
“I love you, you love me
Let’s tie Barney to a tree
Take a loaded shotgun
Shoot him in the head …
Oopsy daisy, Barney’s dead.”
Sorry, folks! I’m really a nice person. I’m not advocating murder of ANYBODY, okay? Just so you know. I just thought it was kinda funny … in a perverted way …
@iammarlo - I loved Steve on Blue’s Clues. I even had a sex dream with him. Hate Joe.
1. Barney
2. Spongebob and Patrick
3. Elmo…definitly
4. ALLLLLL THE POWER RANGERS and their enemies…Exept Tommy…he’s HOT!!
kids don’t need barney he is like a rash.bow to captin kangaroo think you good day and r.i.p barney you freaky purple dude.
er…. the wiggles or Schnappi
their songs are quite annoying
Wow Wow Wubbzy.
I babysit kids who watch that NON-STOP. I’m talking all day.
DORA the little bitch!! hehe
and the wiggles would be a good second
Teletubbies!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!
teletubbies.
when my mom was going to have another child, she warned my dad the child was never allowed to watch them because they frightened her.
@Momma_U - we always sang:
“I hate you, you hate me
let’s gang up and kill Barney.
With an M44, Barney’s on the floor
No more purple dinosaur.”
this is what was popular in my area when i was about.. 9 yrs old.
Wow, I’d love to see many of them go. Barney and teletubbies being at the top of the list.
Elmo. Not because I don’t like the guy, just that it would be hilarious to hear him refer to himself in the third person.
“Elmo’s shirt on fire! Elmo has an ouchie! Ouchie!!” lolz.
BARNEY or THE TELETUBBIES!!
hahahahahahaha omg! thats so mean… but so awesomely cool! BARNEY IS DEAD! WHO HOO! aside from him, i want dora, the tellitubies, and the boobahs to croak! I want dora to get eaten by an alligator or beaten to death by the stupid fox. I want the purple tellitubie to drown in their tebbi custard and the green one to choke on the tubby toast… i want the yellow one to get crushed by the fat baby sun and the red one to get runned over by his scooter. as for the boobahs… i dont care how they die… just want it to hurt because … they freak me out!!!
teletubbies.
each one brutally and slowly tortured to death in a Saw like torture thinger.
Telletubbies. Barney was my best friend when I was a ‘lil one! lol
http://pbskids.org/boohbah/boohbah.html
wow…none of them.
i may not have liked a lot of them, but a slow and miserable death?
i just don’t believe you would do that dan….would you?
(sung to the tune of the Barney Song)
I hate you, you hate me.
We’re a dysfunctional family When a shot rung out and Barney hit floor
No more stupid dinosaur.
There’s … so many possibilities….. the all time most annoying is most definitely the teletubbies though
You know, thinking about it.. there aren’t really.. any beloved children’s play characters I’d save. Except Pooh and Mickey.
I’m so glad that my younger two were convinced that only Grandma got that purple demon on the television. Isn’t there a you tube video or game involving the death of that B guy?
My pick would have to date from the days of my oldest son – The Smurfs.
Barney (or B’Harne in Lovecraftian). Absolutely.
Hahahahahahaha!
ELMO –if not him — than Dora the Explorer !
HA !
That is so horrible!!! Why would you do hat to little kids?!
Barney. He gave me nightmares, dammit.
I never watched the Teletubbies, but their mere presence makes me want to consult the creator- WTF mate??
telly tubbies
I remember that scene from the movie “Jane Austen’s Mafia” where an Eskimo hitman harpoons Barney. That generated much applause in the theater! After all… a syrupy-sweet T-Rex?!
Personally, I think just about every children’s show or character that’s come around since the demise of Captain Kangaroo should be consigned to the landfill!!
LOL Dan.
Barney’s the best choice for a slow miserable death….And second could be a variety of Muppets charachters.