No way. Sometimes a woman has needs. They can’t just use their hands to do it the way men do.

***ROLLS EYES*** Man Dan, the stuff you get yourself into. You do push the envelope pretty far bud even if you think it’s harmless.

Ha, if using a dildo is selfish, so’s jacking off.

@retired_at_21 - But, but, but…. Who’s gonna stand behind the camera?  Who’s gonna hold the boom mic?

You know the majority of what we ALL do is selfish. I’m sure this lady is selfish with things of her own. Heck, if you feed yourself you are selfish.You are taking care of yourself

@College_Ruled11X85 - For someone who sounds pretty religious, you sure do use a provocative profile picture.  Hmmm….

@XINERGY - right.  what about a double sided one?

@retired_at_21 - @The44thHour - Homeless Robots!

In order for an act to be considered selfish, its pursual must incure some sort of a cost to others.

Many of our acts are completely independent to the well being of others. I have a wicked collection of math and engineering textbooks. I do this for myself. This hobby of mine cannot be selfish because no one’s else well being is adversely effected by it.

Likewise, a woman’s owning or use of a dildo effects no one else. It’s not in and of itself selfish.

I received a message tonight from a woman who told me she was unsubscribing to my site.  She was pleasant about it and mentioned a few issues she had with my content.

You know what, Dan? The very act of this messaging is selfish. If she wants off your site, the mere act of unsuscribing is enough. There is no need for her to message you and to point out this fact.

Nothing is gained from her end– she’s unsuscribing. On the other hand, she must realize that the act is hurtful. Informing you of her leaving can’t be, in any way, positive. She is handing out a condemnation of the site and its contents when doing so– has no real world impacts.

She wanted to be noticed, and she was selfish for it.

@droptop11 - she already has a stick up her ass. I don’t think she could fit a dildo as well …

Hm…is using dildo a sign of abstinence? I mean, you are still…you know…not that I care…you guys tell me

Some of your subscribers are waaaay too sheltered, Dan.

No! It’s better than sleeping around! 

Only if you never plan on sharing that pleasure with another human being ever for the rest of your life.

No, because the usage of a dildo is by choice. There’s really nothing selfish about it. :

just be glad you didn’t post the pics from wanabperfectordead site where there are 2 pics involving condoms, one of which 3 girls are wearing them while still in the package as like bikinis the other is a very colourful dress on a manquin of opened condoms…

I must say – NO!

http://www.intimate-expressions.com/jbravata

We encourage couples to use toys together.  In a man-woman relationship:  A man can use his hands for self pleasure, right?  (we know they do if they say they don’t, too much adjusting going on), there is nothing wrong with bringing toys into the bedroom. 

http://www.themarriagebed.com (CHRISTIAN WEBSITE)

Everyone needs to explore their own sexual desires.  You didn’t get sexual parts for nothing.  Grab a mirror and give it a go, you should know what is down there and you know should what down there enjoys most!

isnt masterbation suppose to be selfish?????????

@XINERGY - Best answer yet!!!

@XINERGY - LOL. *thumbs up for this one* 

Does that woman have a thing solely against dildos? I don’t think so. It sounds as though that woman just has a thing against masturbation, period. I think she thinks masturbation of any kind is selfish. I’ve met these type of people before, they are the most sexually frustrated individuals you will ever meet.

No I don’t believe using a dildo or masturbation in general is selfish, so long as you are not allowing it to take the place of your significant other. Howver, if you are using the dildo or masturbation as a way to quench that sexual desire when your significant other is away or if you do not have a significant other, that’s fine. Also, using dildos and other sex toys while making love with your significant other can add a lot of spice to your love making.

If you think any action that doesn’t include/benefit other people is selfish, then I guess so. But then I guess my eating a candy bar is selfish, too. Oh noez.

@College_Ruled11X85 - I take issue with your assertion that “by definition virginity is lost” with masturbation.  I guess you have the right to define virginity for yourself, but the dictionary definition is not having had sexual intercourse (genital contact between two people).

Nope… if you guy have a smaller pecker and can’t do shit about it… I rather prefer the real thing… though…

@droptop11 - I would be surprised actually.

I do not believe. I would need to see it to believe it

@Rantastical - 

Your comment provokes a good question; what makes masturbation different from other ways of seeking pleasure, like watching TV or going onto Xanga?

Because the sexual impulse is something far more important and far more sacred than watching TV or checking Xanga, etc.  No one says, “Well, I’m not going to watch TV until I’ve found that special someone to watch TV with.”  How silly that sounds to most of us!  But with sex, particularly those waiting for marriage, masturbation seems like a cop-out. 

Imagine, too, that a couple gets married.  One spouse has habitually masturbated, while the other has not.  After masturbating for so long, that spouse finds it difficult to stop during times when his or her spouse is away or is somehow unable to have sex.  Isn’t this almost like having an affair with oneself?  Masturbation and sexual intercourse may be somewhat different, but they stem from the same impulse, an impulse meant to express itself with another person.

This is not to say that I look down on people who do masturbate, but I find it very sad.

Thank you for your reply!  Have a wonderful day.

Of course using a dildo is selfish.  It amazes me that so many people claim to not see how it is so.  I think what’s more likely is that they are suppressing the knowledge of how it is.

I notice that people keep saying things like “God gave us sexual parts for a reason” and “we have sexual parts for a reason”; it is assumed that everyone will understand and agree that the “reason” is to obtain sexual pleasure.  But under both the paradigm of theism and evolutionary atheism, sexual parts are for the propogation of the species. 

Christians are permitted to believe, of course, that God provided sexual pleasure as a means of expressing intimacy between those who have become “one flesh”, but there is absolutely no godly support for the notion that sexual pleasure was meant to be obtained outside of the marriage bed.  And to the argument that there is no express biblical condemnation of masturbation, I must say–to be quite frank–that any person saying such a thing does not know God, or at any rate knows Him very shallowly.  Such people still think from within a mindframe of maximizing one’s own pleasure and minimizing one’s own suffering.  Such thinking had no quarter in the mind of Christ Jesus and has no place in the minds of those who claim that He is their Lord and Savior.  In the minds of Christians, at least, the question when approaching any choice should not be “what CAN I do?” but “what OUGHT I do?” 

To the rather dimwitted argument that since the act of masturbation itself does not–at the time–harm anyone outside one’s self it therefore cannot be selfish, I would ask if the same reasoning can apply to the act of drawing pictures involving the torture and murder of others.  It, too, is an act where–within the time frame of the act itself–no one is being harmed.  But if one thinks a little harder than at the level of self-justification, one sees that such an act would have a high probability of being harmful to others in the future.  In reality, all of our acts are of such a nature.  They are either making us more or less selfish.  In biblical terms, they are making us more or less sinful.  In moral terms, they are making us good or bad. 

The vast majority of masturbation involves fantasizing about another person.  Fantasy is not reality.  In reality, the object of your fantasy may not and indeed probably IS not so willing to be merely the object capable of sexually satisfying you in the method of your choice.  Even were this the case, a desire to be merely an object to be used by someone else is masochistic and–despite the objections of the S&M crowd–should not be encouraged or desired.  To put it in concise terms, routinely practicing such thinking cannot but make you think of others less as independent people in their own right and more as objects to be used (which is of course selfish).

Another reason masturbation is selfish (and thus harmful) is because it promotes the thinking that instant gratification is the norm and that denying one’s self is “unhealthy” or unnecessary.  For Christians, the fact that Jesus said explicitly “Deny yourself.  Take up your cross and follow Me” should be enough to dispel with such foolish notions, but for others, it can be pointed out that the root cause of selfishness is an unwillingness or (should the unwillingness have been practiced long enough) an inability to deny one’s self for the sake of others.  Any thinking along the lines that “well, that may be true, but as little as I do it, it will never be such a problem for me” only indicates that it HAS become a problem for you.  There’s a reason Jesus said “Be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect.”  Anything less (and for those of us who have not yet attained it, a desire for anything less) leads to the same place: utter evil/selfishness and damnation.  In theory one may be able to “allow” a little selfishness and not let it turn them into a demon, but in practice, saying “yes” to small evils inevitably graduates into saying “yes” to big evils.  We must lose our lives to save them.  We must die so that we can live.

I speak neither from hypocrisy nor from perfection.  I have masturbated in my life; in fact, for nearly half of it (I am 22), but there came a point in my Christian walk where I was faced with the hypocrisy of claiming to want to be a selfless/good person while at the same time practicing something that made me less capable of being so.  I converted to Christianity four years ago and stopped masturbating two years ago.  At first, and after having done so for so long, it felt like torture trying to stop.  But such is the way for the breaking off of most habits/addictions, and that feeling cannot sustain.  Eventually, one passes through the final wave and is blessed to see calm seas ahead.