July 27, 2008
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Close Friends
I was just talking to kestryl on IM and we were talking about close friends. I told her that a friend told me she had 6 close friends. I thought that was impossible. Kestryl told me she had 8 close friends. I told her I didn’t think it was possible to have more than 2-3 close friends at a time.
Can you have 8 close friends at one time?
Comments (123)
Ha, I can! Obviously.
It’s possible.
shit, I only have like 4.
Sure. It’s easier if they’re not in the same social group.
Like…if you have a really close friend in one class, and a really close friend in another.
(I’m talking about school and not socioeconomic status!)
Or, sometimes even in a work environment, school, or community/neighborhood.
It can be done.
Though, I only have two
It is possible and it is called an inner circle. But no matter what you will always have one or two close that are closer to you.
I don’t really think I have any close friends. I just want to have sex with everyone. (who is fertile)
I think it’s easy to have close friends, though, when you completely respect people’s privacy and secrets. I generally refuse to talk bad about friend behind their backs, which causes a lot of people to be closer to me in the longrun.
nah.
i wouldn’t know.
I agree with Duck.
@xdarlene - We could be close friends, but I have to dance for you first.
I really dont have personal close friends.
I just know people and they dont know me.
Dammnit.
Why on earth not?
I’ve known some people who have more than 6 or so “close” friends. I know a couple of people with NO close friends at all.
I have about 4 “close” friends, but I have ONE “best” friend.
I guess it sort of depends on what someone considers “close”.
“Why on earth not?” .. she asks… oooooh~~~
different people have varying views on what being close is. that being said, its possible. and i book 4, so yeah.
i do.
We each construct and maintain social networks differently. So yes, I think it’s possible
I once sat in on a so-called group of friends and when one went home the rest of them talked about her. I am always leary of getting too close to a bunch of people. One or two is enough for me.
I don’t know, to be honest.
Though it seems to me that the more serious friends you have, the more you set yourself up for heartbreak.
Apparently I can’t – at least IRL. I feel pretty close to some of my xanga friends.
It’s possible. I have 8 close friends.
It’s possible you just have to make the time for it
Yes, absolutely.
I had at least 6 for over a year in high school.
RYC: thanks a million! i was wondering if you’d notice.
I have only two.
I don’t think so, honestly. I have two. And one who is almost a best friend (best friend meaning almost absolute trust and the knowledge that even if we fight they’re not going to fuck me over)…his bestfriendship is dependent on how he reacts when he finds out I’m gay.
To have close friends, you have to be willing to open up to others and show them you are serious about a close friendship. If people realize you are holding back, they will do the same. You can’t be afraid of being hurt thats for sure. If you are always afraid of being hurt, you will NEVER have any close friends. You have to let yourself be vulnerable for people to know you can be trusted most of the time. It isn’t easy to have true close friends, thats for sure.
It is possible. I considered my home church group to be close friends. However, if you are going to get specific, then I would say that I have three and I talk over different things with each one. God is the only one who knows everything.
I have 2 close friends. Of course, one of them hasn’t talked to me in 3 years.
Anything is possible. Didn’t someone in Hollywood get married with 2000 of their closest friends in attendance?
I’m sure women can but men only have like max 3 (I believe..but i could be wrong)
I guess for some people it probably is. For me, no it’s not. I’d rather have two or three close friends then the rest I’d just consider good friends or just plain ‘ol friends. Just how I am.
It’s possible, but it’s very difficult. I can count the number of close friends I have on one hand. But I think it also depends on how you define a close friend.
Anything is possible!
I have like 4 or 5. It’s very possible to have more, though.
I know I can’t. Too many people for me.
Totally possible, though I only have 1 (maybe 2) at the moment…
yeah, i think so. i have about 7. i think it depends on what your definition of “close friend” is.
Why not? I can believe that someone has 8 close friends. More than that though is debatable…
It seems like people don’t get that there’s a difference between friends and acquaintances. True friends are hard to come by.
of course.
Perhaps it’s rare, but I believe it is possible.
Yeah, it just depends on the type of people. Look at Friends, well I know it’s 6, but still, that’s a lot. And yeah, I know it’s a TV show, but people are like that in real life, they can have a lot of close friends.
Some people are lucky enough to have that many.
nope. i used to think i had 2 close friends, but I was wrong.
i have exactly 8
eh, maybe 3 if youre lucky. 1 is all i got.
I have 0 close friends. In fact I have 0 friends. I’m a loner. I like it that way. I used to have friends. In the end they always betrayed me. One even had an affair with my husband. One flipped out on me and thought I had an affair with her husband when I didn’t. Most times that why I’m so abrasive with others. I don’t want them getting too close. Nowadays I only trust animals and my therapist.
8….. that IS indeed a lot. How do you cater the amount of time in sharing personal stories/secrets/developing a close relationship to 8 people. Maybe it’s a groupie thing.
It is possible. I do. I have 1-2 close friends from each group that I engage in. I have a few best friends.
I have a few close friends. Each friend was the closest person to me at one point in time… and now whenever I talk to him/her it’s as if nothing has changed (the idea that we’re close and we can tell each other anything). I guess I still don’t have as many as 8, but I believe it’s possible.. tricky, but possible.
yes you can. i have 7, and i can prove it every step of the way.
Sure…I do, they just aren’t in the same “circle”
sure, it’s possible, but i know i don’t. i have 4 really super close friends that i can share my most personal secrets with. they’re the 4 that know everything that happens in my life right away. all my other friends aren’t quite there.
“Close friends” is a relative terms defined by the depth of a person and their own personal perception of what friendship is. Â
So technically one person could have 2345780 “close friends” while others may only have one.I have many friends. Â Each one is close to me in different ways. Â That is why we’re friends.
define close…
I only have maybe one or two close friends. I don’t let many people into my personal life.
-CrazyKey123
I guess…I have about three.
At one time, I thought I did, but as I’ve gotten older, I realize they weren’t that close at all. I have only ONE and she’s been my best friend since the 2nd grade (I’m 32 now).
there was a point when i *thought* i had that many close friends, but it turns out they weren’t really friends at all… now i have 3 close friends, who are the real-truly-madly-deeply-BFF-kind.
A while back, I would have said no, but I have several circles of friends, and while I’d say I have only 2 super close friends over all, I consider each group to be close friends when I’m with that group. That gives me
Julie, Cecely, Rosey, Kenna, Jeremy, Paige, Brendan, Sean, Cynthia, and Kayla. 10.
Different levels of closeness for all.
And I completely agree with ibebob. That’s what I was going for.
I think marital status, activities, and the type of work you do, greatly influences how many close friends you have. Also the personality types of the “close” friends.
I don’t really have any close friends
I think they’re too hard to keep and in todays world it’s really hard to trust more then a couple people
I only have 3 close friends.
But the meaning of the term “best friend” or “close friend” is relative to each person, so yes it is entirely possible for someone to have 8 close friends, nevertheless I couldn’t do it.
i don’t have too many close friends i tell everything to. i use strangers instead.
I think women can do this better than men
I have two…my cousin and my boyfriend…they are all I need. I have my other friends, but these two are the only ones I can talk to.
I have TONS of “close” friends. Cross my heart. Sometimes … I think I have TOO MANY close friends because I run out of time to spend with them all.
What a great problem to have: too many friends.
I haven’t exactly counted my close friends, but I have several who are almost tied in my mind… probably about 5 or so.
It’s possible, but rare in my opinion. I have a couple really close friends that I trust. The rest are good friends, but aren’t so close that I would trust them as much as my close friends or open up to as much
@SpiritualBattlefield - Works the same for me
They think they know me but they really don’t.
I seem to understand them but they don’t understand me.
What a one way street…
@insert_label_here_003 - I know some that only want to associate with me when nobody else is around. Like a last resort kind of thing only because the ones they want to talk to are high maintenance .. meh..
yes, it is possible. However, it takes way too much time to network. 1 a day, 7 days a week, and one squeezed in there.
yes! it doesnt matter how many friends you have. but the ones you can trust are considered close.
How close is “close”?
Yes, it is possible.
IDK …maybe. I just don’t think I could manage to stay close to that many people at once. I only have 3 really close friends.
8 seems a stretch to me. I have 3, and the most I’ve ever had is 5.
one… or maybe two, for me.
in my opinion, NO, i don’t feel you can have 8 close friends at one time.
It’s not possible for me.
I think there are levels of good friends. For me…best friends only come in about 1 to 2…but then you have to break down those close friends into groups: your naughty friends, your serious friends, religious friends, friends that are strictly for fun and goofy behavior, friends you admire and friends you secretly keep because they make you feel good about yourself and not because they are losers but because they are so uplifting.
I’ve only had maybe 3 best friends in my entire life that could cross so many of those catagories and I hope to someday meet at least just a few more.
I have never had more than 1 or 2 close friends at any one time. The older you get the harder it is to stay connected. I have one close friend T, I may talk to her twice a week or once a month. I know that she will be there no matter what.
My best friend was my namesake, Jim, he lives in Alaska. We were in college together, best friends, roommates, partners in crime. Not gay, just friends, I miss him.
I’d be inclined to think that 3-4 is the most you can really have though you can have a second tier that is close that can be a little bit larger.
different strokes, for different folks. i have 7, but they all are from different phases of my life, which i still keep in touch with.
I think probably the number of close friends is a product of one’s own degree of openness.
It’s possible, I have 5..I’d count John as 6, but seeing as he’s my boyfriend I think that should be a given.
No, that’s not possible.
I think it’s possible for some people. I have a lot of “good” friends, but when it comes to “close” friends–aka the ones who know my deepest secrets, have seen me cry, have gone through everything with me–I’d say I have 3. It depends on the person.
I guess. It’s hard to say because it depends on your definition of ‘close friend’.
Can you possibly continue to ask such utterly inane questions with such irritating regularity? Clearly, yes. You’re lucky that everyone is an idiot, otherwise you’d be plain boring.
For me, the definition of a true close friend is someone that you have known for a very long time, some one that knows you inside and out, that knows your favorite movie or when you lying or anything.
For me, I have moved many, many times since I was a baby. Four times in the last year, and I will be moving again for the fifth here in a couple weeks.
So I don’t really think I have that many close, close friends. There was one that I had known for nearly 6 years, but were had a falling out.
My close friend counter is currently at 0. But I have many friends that I love dearly and hope that we continue to be friends for a long time.
Probably depends on the definition of close.
Probably not, or at least it’s out of the norm, 1 or 2 or 3 really close friends are more likely.
I have, let’s see…1, 2, 3, 4…at least 4 friends.
But it depends on your version of close. I’m defining close as those freinds I would be comfortable driving 2 hours to see just to wake them up unannounced in the middle of the night because I want someone to hang out with.
Of course.
I have about 8 close friends.
I have six here in Pennsylvania and at least four in Carolina. It’s actually pretty easy. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t really have casual friends. Instead of a circle of 200 acquaintances I keep only a handful of people who are close to me. I’m pretty shy, so I figure the people who take time to wait out my shy-ness are worth keeping.
im only 16.
and most of my friends are.
but there is now 8 or 9 of us.
and we’re pretty much inseperable.
theres two girls, me and my bestestfriend.
and the rest are guys. one has a girlfriend now
so he isnt around as much anymore. and two
have a job. but as for the rest of us.
we’re together everynight.
so i think its possible to have more then 2-3 close
friends. the guys prove it. before me and my bestfriend
came along. there was seven of them. and they’re so
close its scary sometimes (: haha.
but yahhh. its possible!
I definitely don’t. Not sure how many I have, if any. Depends on what you mean by “close”.
But I think you *can*. I think it works like this, you only have 0-3 “active” close friends at a time. But you can have N number of “reserve” close friends. ie people who were once your close friends and whom if you spent time with again might well become your close friend again. Or they might not be interested, who knows. But that they were once close friends that you spent a lot of time with and are still good friends gives you the right to consider them in your count of close friends if you want.
i have 4 i dont htink ill ever have more than that
seems to me it’s possible to have a number of close friends. for me it’s easier to get close (and stay close) to a smaller number, and that works for me – 4 or 5 is good
I think at that point, they become friends thats closer than the rest of your friends.
Probably depends on a person’s definition of “close”.
Sorry Kes, but I don’t think so. You can have one or two or maybe even three close friends, but 8? I highly doubt that. But maybe I have this perspective because I don’t have many friends at all. I’ve only ever had one really close friend at a time. I guess the upside to being a hermit and loner like me is that I always know who my truest and closest friends are.
I guess it depends on your definition of close.
I definitely couldn’t, I have 4 including my boyfriend, and they are very demanding!
I dont have many friends either, one of my friends I could trust a lot. My others friends I have lost connected with, however one of them found me on Facebook a couple of months ago, I would say this person I could trust, I knew him since the start of first school when I was 4 nearly 5 and have not seen each other for eight years.
I usually only have one or two.
I used to have that many when I was in high school. I think it’s easier when you’re young and see those people on a daily basis. I probably only have three close friends now, if you include my husband.
yes you can have more than 2 or 3 close friends. when you have a lot of friends it’s a matter of spending quality instead of quantity of time with each.
what baffles me more than someone having 8 close friends is how someone can have a job, a marriage, three kids, 2-3 close friends, AND still enough hours each day to run a cafe site on xanga. that puzzles me.
know what i mean Dan?
Yeah i have a group of 7 close friends who know everything about me and i know everything about them. It is nice to know you will always have someone there for you.
Define the degree of “close friends”. I can imagine having lots of “good friends” but, not all of them are consider “close friends or best friend” to me. “Good friends” are the type you see each once a while to catch up what’s going on each others life and just enjoys each other company. “Best friends” are the type that stick around in your high and low even when it cost them their time, money, effort, and return they might not received any benefit for doing all those stuff. They are there for you because they love you as close as any friend can be and truly wants the best for you.
I think so. I know someone who has many close friends. It’s basically a full time job though. You have to have incredible social skills.
I don’t know- I have NO friends.
I’m sure it’s possible for people more social than myself.
With Xanga, I wonder if it’s possible to have 150 close friends! 8? Of course.
I’ve never been able to have more than a couple at any one time. My partner, on the other hand, works hard to maintain all her friendships all over the world and has more close friends than I have acquaintances!
I think it’s certainly possible to have 8 close friends, though it may be a bit of a rare occurrence.
i don’t think so… only 2-3 at most at a time… maybe your definition of close isn’t the same. i consider myself to be close with 8 people in general in college… but really close? just about 2 or 3…
not for me.
At least half that number only.
Besides, they can only be “close” friends to me, because I have ONE best friend, and will forever have ONE BEST FRIEND, forever forever and ever.
When someone tells me that they have more than one friend that they consider “best friend”, I just can’t understand it. =.=