August 20, 2008
-
Kicking Her Out of the Closet
Thanks to everyone who helped me reach the goal of 1065 comments in 24 hours. I received 1154 comments in 24 hours and I appreciate all who helped. I also appreciate that link at the end from the xanga team as I was cutting it close and for all those who recommended the post and linked it.
Here we go:
A young girl who is a lesbian told her principal that she was lesbian.
The principal turned around and told her parents about her being lesbian. She sued the school for a bunch of reasons and won the suit. Here is the link: Link
I just wanted to focus on one of the issues.
Do you think it was inappropriate for the principal to tell her parents that she was a lesbian?
Comments (180)
Yes.
Yes..
Certainly.
Yes. It just shows how narrow minded some people can be.
-CrazyKey123
No… he’s an educater… not a shrink or a doctor…
That being said I am off to read the link and find out why I’m probably wrong… *sigh*
Well, yes. Obviously.
Oh yes, it was. He should have minded his own business.
Crud! I told everyone I’d do one of those “Ask Me Anything” posts if enough people commented on your post to break the record! Now I actually have to do it! >_<
I think that was completely inappropriate. That’s her personal business, and completely up to her who decides to share it with.
Most definitely. It’s bad enough she had to tell her parents, but with the principal butting into her business is unacceptable. I feel bad for her.
rediculous. how far is this “morality” crap gonna go?
It’s a personal matter. Yes. He was wrong.
i would say yes, it was. why did he find that necessary? and that would have been one downright awkward conversation. “hey, this is your daughter’s principal and i just have this urge to tell you that your daughter’s a lesbian!”
That’s complete bullshit. VERY wrong!
Yes!
She trusted him.
Xo
Absolutely
Alright and I’ve read it… What he did wasn’t just OUT her to her parents… or tell them about something they should be concerned about… He HARRASSED her and abused his rights as an educator to make her life miserable…
You made it sounds like he just told her parents… I don’t think your post reflects the magnatude of what he did…
Yes.
Absolutely. He shouldn’t have done that.. and just because there aren’t stated Parent/Teacher/Student confidentiality rules doesn’t mean that it was okay for him to do…
I think it was totally fine that he told her parents. I do not think his other actions were okay.
yes, he really had no right to do any of what he did.
yes
he was wrong
Yes, it was inappropriate for him to tell her parents because she trusted him with a secret and he blabbed.
However, I also read the link that you provided and he even told her homosexuality was wrong and that’s why he told her parents. She was just trying to get people to stop teasing her and he does nothing at all to help her. I think she deserved to have won that case.
No shit?? You can sue people who break your trust? Fucking Aye!
I think it is, because it wasn’t any of his business.
Yes.
Woah, that was seriously inappropriate. How on earth could he as the principal justify doing any of those things? Even telling her parents was inappropriate, but then he went on to harass her and her friends. I agree with whoever in the article it was that called it a witch hunt – why was he questioning students about their sexuality?
@angi1972 - Exactly.
Whether it was wrong to tell her parents becomes irrelevant in light of the other horrid things he did.
Yes, she entrusted the information with the principal.
I think I would be mortified if my rents found out I was bi, even today. Some parents REALLLY just don’t understand. He should mind his own…as far as I know she didn’t go digging around his life for trouble.
That’s wrong, especially if that was something she just wanted to talk to someone about. People can be horribly single minded.
Yes, it was inappropriate.
Yeah, he didn’t just out her……read the link and you’ll find that “he told her homosexuality is wrong, outed her to her parents and ordered her to stay away from children.”
Big difference. If it was as simple as he told her parents, I wouldn’t care. Pssh, aren’t gays here and proud of it? If you really aren’t ashamed of “who you are” why do you care who knows?
I hate the ACLU too.
yes he was
yes. her treatment for reporting inappropriate behavior was out of line.
This is one case of many where ethics should have ruled over morality in thinking what was better for the student. Did he really think he was gonna change her or her friend’s views by punishing them? No, that just makes them believe stronger. It’s just idiotic bigots like this that make religion look bad. There are some times when opinions do not count as moral beliefs. This is also why we, as human beings, are not to judge each other. Live and let live and sort em all out in the end.
Do you think it was inappropriate for the principal to tell her parents that she was a lesbian?
It’s difficult to take this question in isolation. How appropriate or not the communication is would depend on his motivations and his understanding of the likely concenquences.
For instance, outing the girl out of spite is very different than communication out of concern of the child’s well being.
In general, I don’t think the act of telling the parents is either good or bad inherently.
He may have felt obligated to tell her parents after all if kids were harrassing her then there is a legitimate concern for her safety which her parents should know about…but the rest of the garbage he pulled was nothing more than a witch hunt, as the article claims.
Yes.
Yes, unless she asked him to do so. Totally inappropriate!
inapropriate? yes, illegal? no.
1) it was his business. she told him about it, thus making it “his business”
2) she told him in confidence, he violated her trust.
@weirdbean - ”If you really aren’t ashamed of “who you are” why do you care who knows?”
When you’re in high school, your parents have the power to make your life living hell if they want to.
yes. it is her news to tell, not the principal’s.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I am appalled at his handling of her situation, and I am just as, if not more, appalled at the comments from the community. There is hardly anything “peaceful and loving” about what he did to that girl, nor is there anything “peaceful and loving” about their intimations (overt as they are, I will still call them intimations) that being in the Bible Belt allows them different rules than the rest of the US public school system!
Nevermind the confidentiality he failed to keep! We are not required to discuss what a student asks us to keep confidential unless they are physically being hurt, hurting someone else, or hurting (or planning to hurt) themselves!
Disgusting. Just disgusting.
It is unbeleivable how backwards and stupid of these educators are.
The fucked up bullshit of creationism bubbles from the same repugnant gutter that gives us intolerance and a moral disdain of gays and lesbians. Public teacher and administrators who brand their religion into classroom lessons and policy deserve to be kicked out of their jobs.
Absolutely. Unless she was threatening to hurt herself or another, he should have kept his mouth shut. He deserved what he got.
You’re welcome Dan.
She went to the principal to seek protection from
harassment and he betrayed her not by telling her parents but by becoming the worst of the offenders.
Yesh.
I would be angry as a parent if somebody outed my child before she had a chance to tell me herself, in her own time and her own way. He was completely out of line.
Your welcome Dan!
This young girl went to authority for help and all her did was make the situation 100 times worst and prove that he is just as immature and close minded as the kids that were taunting her. Coming out to anyone is hard enough but he stole her opportunity to come out to her parents. Even worst he suspends people that were in support of her. He should be fired!
the girl went to the principal for help- ‘When a high school senior told her principal that students were taunting her for being a lesbian’, instead he turned his back on her because of his religious belief? ridiculous.
Religion is not an excuse.
Telling your parents you’re gay is a hard thing. It’s even harder when someone else does it for you. It is only the daughters place to tell who she wants, when she wants. That was wrong what he did. I’m glad she won the suit.
Of course. Would he have “tattled” on her if she told him she liked a boy at the school? This is blatant discrimination.
If it was affecting her academic performance, then no. Or if it was something that was obviously bothering her, it was his duty as an educator to inform the parents so they could get her help if she needed it. However, if she wasn’t depressed or struggling in school, then yes.
But after reading the article, the man was wrong in all regards. Just because you believe homosexuality is wrong, you don’t take it upon yourself to punish homosexuals. Especially in the case of teenagers, who need the support of adults, not their scorn. The man should lose his position as an educator. If you dislike homosexuality, then you’re entitled to that, but don’t be inappropriate about it.
@weirdbean - If it was as simple as he told her parents, I wouldn’t care. Pssh, aren’t gays here and proud of it? If you really aren’t ashamed of “who you are” why do you care who knows?
I had a gay friend in college. He never came out to his family. Althoug he was comfortable with his own sexual orientation he was fearful of being shut out and disowned. He cared about his mom, dad, and brother; but he was also had to be true to himself.
I hate the ACLU too
ACLU >> ACLJ
what a dumbass, shouldn’t have told.
yes
Well, duh, but the lesbian didnt have to spout to her principal that she’s a lesbian, so I kinda think its her fault for letting the truth out.
Now I’m off to read the article to rethink my logic on this situation…
im not sure.
i dont think its a principal’s job to communicate between the child and her parents.
but…. then theres the whole problem of the parents not knowing what the heck their child is doing at school which, bottom line; is their business.
the whole system is screwy. what creeps me out is that her principal knows more about her than her parents, which really is a problem.
I think that principal is the one who ought to stay away from children.
@bite_me_jerk - she told the principal because she was being bullied about it, she went to him for help.
Extremely inappropriate. He had no right to go and tell her parents. That was something for her to decide when to tell them, it was her decision alone. What an ass.
I don’t think anyone did the right thing here. I think the principal is crazy and I think the ACLU is really crazy. And the girl, well, she used very poor judgement. And honestly, I don’t know what I would do if I were in the principal’s shoes. I obviously wouldn’t harass her and be stupid and ignorant like he was, but as far as telling her parents, I don’t know what I would do. I think if I were in high school, I would have thought it was wrong. But now, looking back, I don’t know. I probably would have definitely talked to the girl about it more first though.
She’s no lesbian, too hot.
Yup. It wasn’t his place.
Yes, as an authority figure he should have known better than to tell a secret that was told to him in confidence, especially a non-threatening one.
@Strong_Protector - I don’t think anyone did the right thing here. I think the principal is crazy and I think the ACLU is really crazy.
What did the ACLU do wrong in this case?
Yes, that was inappropriate for the principal to do.
As a parent…. is it comforting to know that your daughter is being harrassed because of her choices? Is it comforting to know that every kid in the school knows something you don’t?
Uhm, I think telling her parents was fine. I don’t like that he did it, it seems underhanded. But they are her parents, they currently support her financially.
Inappropriate? I don’t know… is there some sort of “teacher-student confidentiality”? I think not, and if this girl really didn’t want her parents to know, she must have been incredibly stupid to think that she could have the best of both worlds… the protections of an out-of-closet lesbian while still being “closeted”.
I think the principal was misguided as well, seeing as how he was such a jerk about this, going straight McCarthy (50′s senator, not playmate) on her and her friends.
All around, this is a case of stupidity on several fronts. The girl has a case in the way that the principal handled the situation, but not in the telling of the parents. A parent should know what the teachers know. Minors and secrets are a bad mix, because minors have their age as an excuse to be stupid, and for good reason.
They are.
Yes… the only time the parents should be involved is if the girl is in some kind of risk.. I don’t think being a lesbian qualifies as such
on another note, has anyone else realized her lawyer looks pretty sexy? maybe it’s in part because he’s a lawyer.
If you’re a lesbian and your parents find out from the principal, then you must have lousy parents.
@huginn - I just think the whole situation is crazy. Also, I don’t like the ACLU. That’s all I was trying to say.
Yeah, it does not seem to be relevant to school..
unless it was relevant for some unknown reason.. lol
Yes. His actions are a breach of the trust a student should be able to expect of an educator.
It was completely wrong for him to pass on something that was told to him in confidence. If it were something like threatening harm to herself or another, that is the only time he should have shared information.
His first priority should have been to protect the student from further harassment from other students; he failed to do that, and even added to the problem through his own actions. That’s inexcusable. I do think communication between administration and parents is important, and I don’t have a problem with the fact that he told them, but he should have looked into the situation more carefully before he acted. He also should have cared about more than that one aspect of the student’s life. He needn’t have razed her entire world to address what he saw as a ‘problem’. And since being a lesbian probably isn’t against school policy, he shouldn’t have pursued the matter at all, except as it related to her personal safety.
Telling her parents? I don’t know, what is his responsibility to her parents for this? But outing her to the school, suspending her supporters, etc? That’s where he was wrong. Would he do the same to a liart? Or a cheater? What if the liar was a football star? **sigh** Why do we, as Christians, feel the need to determine what is the “bad” sin when it’s not up to us to judge in the first place? Jesus loved and forgave the adulterer, wouldn’t you think he’d do the same to someone who was gay or lesbian?
Aye, from what you posted there it seems he was in the wrong.
@Strong_Protector - Okey dokey.
Inappropriate, yes…worth being sued over, no. Her parents probably would have figured it out by the time she married Sally instead of Stanley.
Absolutely!
It’s the girl’s business, and the principal is treating her and the whole situation like it’s a travesty. Like the fact that she likes girls makes her some kind of disgusting and dangerous pervert or something. The gall of that principal! It’s none of his damned business in the first place.
no, it wasn’t wrong of him to tell her parents. if she can open up to her principal, then she can obviously open up to her parents. he was DEFINITELY wrong in everything else he did. he’s a terrible principal, and i’m glad that took him out of that district.
yes.
but why did she tell him in the first place?
Yes, he should have…she was being bullied and that should be reported to her parents. Naturally, her homosexuality, being the reason for her being bullied, would have to be revealed to her parents. It is the principals job to report to a parent when their child is being bullied. The cause of the bullying is inevitably going to be revealed.
YES. wow.
Yes. It’s a personal issue that has nothing to do with school and for that reason he had no right to tell the parents. If she didn’t tell them, she probably wasn’t ready. Perhaps it wasn’t safe for her to come out. Sometimes it isn’t. He obviously put very little thought about her mental health or family situation into making this decision.
Everything else he did was wrong as well. My principal knows I’m a lesbian– I’ve talked to him about day of silence, gay straight alliance, and a need to focus on harassment of gay students. Needless to say, in the process, he knows about it. HE WOULD NEVER DREAM OF DOING THIS, even though I’m out to everyone. He’s from a different generation and even if he disagrees he does think that no one should be bullied for their differences and he would WAY too much class to call my mum.
It was wrong for him to tell her what’s right or wrong based on his own beliefs. He obviously is the type who is so deep into what he has been taught that he probably truly believed he was doing the right thing by outing her out to her parents as a way to make her realize she is doing something wrong. He violated the trust that she had when she told him she was a lesbian, another wrong doing. He was just wrong all around.
yes… “butt the fuck out”
Is it really a principal’s responsibility to “out” a student to their parents? The student isn’t harming anyone. It’s not an issue affecting anyone’s education. So, unless the principal was close friends with her parents, there was no reason for him to step in.
As far as his other actions are concerned: What was he thinking?!!?!?!? He makes Christians look bad and, in fact, people like him are the exact reason that I refuse to say I’m a Christian. I tell people that I’m a follower of Jesus because I don’t want them to think that I’m going to burn them the moment that they slip up. What a nut!
Yep, that’s a very personal thing and though it’s becoming more accepted it’s still not an easy thing to tell your parents. I know if I were a lesbian, it would take a while for me to find the words and the time, even though I know my parents would understand, it’d be hard.
yes.. because that’s against confidentiality rules, she’s not hurting herself or anyone… therefore, he had no right…
i think most people, including students, are aware that there is no student-teacher confidentiality in school. cooooome ooooon people, high schoolers may be kind of dumb sometimes but they are not completely stupid.
the article describes the town as being very small and very religious. anyone who lives in a small town can tell you how gossip spreads quickly, and i think the principal should have been aware of the impact his words and actions would make on the community as a whole before spouting off on his religious and moral beliefs. i’m sure a lot of people in town agree with him, but there are still those in town who think that what he did was wrong. the town is now divided by what he did.
I don’t think it’s just about whether it was right for him to do or not. I guess I don’t know the specifics and this may vary from state to state, but I thought administrators and people in his position were legally bound by confidentiality agreements NOT to reveal things like that to others (unless she were in immediate danger).
/bangs head against the nearest wall
ABSOLUTELY.
@and_everything_fades_to_black - “if she can open up to her principal, then she can obviously open up to her parents.”
are you fucking kidding me? doesn’t the fact that her parents found out about her being gay from someone other than her give you and idea of how difficult it might be for her to tell her parents?
good friends will support you no matter what, but at that age, parents have the power to destroy you if they see fit. she was obviously afraid to tell them for whatever reason. maybe the time wasn’t right. either way, it should be her choice if and when to tell them.
it is one thing for a principal that is “looking out for his/her students” to tell parents something that they believe there is an issue at hand. but it is another thing for a principal to meddle in the lives of the students and take actions into his/her own hands.
yup — depending on the state this occurred in, there is most likely a scope of confidential relationship between a student and the school’s principal.
this was certainly a breach of that confidence!
Yes, she only told him because she thought he will keep it confidential. I don’t get it, what is it to him to tell her parents in the first place?
on a moral level, yes, if she confided in the principal, a person of power and influence for her, then they shouldn’t tell anyone especially when it’s something that 1. doesn’t effect those around her and 2. is such a personal matter. She may not have told her parents yet due to their objections or that she wasn’t ready yet.
No one should intervene in such an intimate moment between parent and child. It’s such an imposition for someone to tell a person that their child is gay.
The principal has lost a lot of integrity because of this i’m sure.
It’s not like it’s doctor patient confidentiality but there should be a level extensive trust even if it is not legal.
What he did was completely wrong. Simply outing the girl to her family would have been bad enough — it was a violation of privacy which could have ended in horrific consequences (like the girl being kicked out of her home or forced into “reoarative therapy”) — but then he ordered her to stay away from children and conducted a hunt on the entire school trying to force other kids out of the closet, and punishing them for supporting those that were! It’s a disgusting abuse of power and betrayal of trust.
I think he’s just bitter because his parents named him David Davis.
There is a right and wrong way to be Christian. This is the wrong way.
Yeah, comign out is a huge deal, and he’s got no right to expose her sexuality. If she hadn’t told her parents yet, there was a reason to!
Yes. I’m assuming she told him in confidence.
Yes. The girl’s parents could have easily been monsters that would have beaten the shit out of her.
I told my own principal all sorts of stuff and he kept it to himself, if it was really bad, he told the school shrink. THAT, is a principal. That is someone to respect.
This howdy doody fuck in a suit should be fired, and I hope that girl wins every cent she’s asking for.
Yes, I don’t it’s a principal’s job to do so.
Yes.
totally inappropriate.
Absolutely, very poor judgment. That is not how parents should find out their kids are gay.
The kids tell them when they are ready. Sometimes they never do.
How pitiful.
well what need was there to tell her principle? its not his business telling her parents, but as an adult what did she expect?
She’s cute. He was remiss in not informing people. Schools used to encourage imagination.
No. I think as long as she is underage and her parents have custody of her, the principle should be allowed to share information with her parents. The decision to tell the parents should be a judgment call on the part of the principle. I think the principle probably made the wrong decision in this case but I do not think the school should be forced to pay a settlement.
He should’ve been fired.
It wasn’t his right to tell them. He should have discussed it with her if he thought her parents needed to know.
Words cannot even begin to cover how wrong I believe that is.
The Principal needs to tell the parents. Who’s in charge here? -The Parents.
Yes. It is HER issue, and she should have been the one to bring it up with her parents if she ever decided to do it. It was none of his business whether her parents knew her sexuality or not.
But it’s kind of strange that she told the principal in the first place. Wtf?
Depends. Did the principal say he was going to keep it confidential? If he did, then yeah, it’s wrong. If he didn’t, then I guess there’s not much of a case there….
Well he’s not a principal anymore anyways, lmao.
Yes!
Yes.
But she’s too hot to be a lesbian.
Yes. Not only is it the girl’s right to tell her parents when and if she chooses, but there is supposed to be a confidence between students and there school leaders. It has always been my understanding that anything said between students and principals, counselors, etc, was said in confidence. He had absolutely 0 right to tell the girl’s parents, and the girl deserves every penny she can get from the school and the principal.
I think the school-parent conference should’ve been handled by a guidance counsler, not the principal. He should’ve left it up to his trained staff to deal with the personal issues while he dealt with the disciplinary issues of the other students.
As far as his other actions throughout the entire thing, he was WAAAAY off base to do what he did.
I’m just curious why she told the principal!! (i havent read the link) but I think that the priniciple was indeed wrong . She would have notified her parents in time ….or not notify them..that would be her right !
Yes it is. :
I think it’s definitely wrong. The daughter should be the one to decide when she should tell her parents about her sexuality.
it is innapropriate, but not illegal, confidentiality is only granted for doctor/patient and lawyer/client relationships as far as i’m aware.
Telling her parents was innapropriate.
What was illegal is that he told her being gay was wrong, and that she should stay away from children and when people tried to express their outrage at it by wearing gay rights t-shirt, he suspended them.
Now, on the Universal declaration of human rights it clearly says that everyone has a right to have an education, no matter what. It also says that everyone has the right to freedom of thought.
So what he ended up doing was actually illegal.
@CrazyKey123 - I agree with you.
No. The child is a minor and her parents deserve to know such things.
I thought your goal was 1085 not 1065…..???
Nope
I don’t think there is any such thing as a homosexual or heterosexual in the first place. It is as made up a concept as race. We are all the same. We are all human. Men and women have some obvious physical differences, but that’s about it.
We all need to get over ourselves and stop finding ourselves so fascinating and important.
There’s no such thing as principal/student confidentiality and there never should be. Not one dime should have been awarded or paid. Ridiculous.
I think he should have spent more time defending her against bullies than alerting parents.
The real crime here is the students that teased her or treated her discourteously. We all need to shut up about ‘how we feel’ or who we want to have sexual relations with and start treating each other with respect and courtesy and gentleness.
@angi1972 - I agree. I don’t take any info the kids tell me as private. Maybe private, like, don’t tell the other students. Or if they ask me to keep it private. But even then there is plenty of stuff that they could ask me to keep private that I would have to report to someone.
HOLY ****, but that principal was dead wrong! What an Ass hole!
@Asthma_is_Sexy - Thank you. I think that it is a teachers job to keep the kids safe, and if you have to disclose something to a parent to do that then… DO IT… however, aparently this man wandered into what I would call the realm of abuse himself by harrassing her and her friends because of his own personal beliefs… Not cool… I am actually amazed he is still allowed to teach…
@Asthma_is_Sexy - ROFL! You do the same thing I do! Comment and then read the link! lol
School officials are required to report certain things, but I don’t think sexual preference is one of those things, unless it is wrapped up in some dangerous situation to the student.
YES! She has the choice of telling her parents, not him. He is suppose to be someone who she and everyone who they can trust!
x0x MK
Yes. He could have encouraged her to tell them, or said he thought it would be a good idea if they knew. But he should not have betrayed her trust.
Yes, she obviously told the principal because she trusted them. However…a law suit over it? That’s a little extreme.
@Strong_Protector - who else would have stood up for her and made sure this was dealt with?
hahahaha,,, girls that age,,, (im of course guessing at her age) (but i know and have known lots of girls) dont know what they are,,,,
hahahahahahaha
to take a statement from one is pretty stupid to be honest,,,,
hahahahahahahaha
makes you wonder about the intelligence of some people employed at schooling institutions,,,,,
Yes. Teachers and especially counselors aren’t allowed to disclose information to parents unless it is a risk to the child’s life if they don’t. Saying you’re a lesbian isn’t life threatening, so I see no reason why the principal had to mention it to the kid’s parents. Unless it was a, “I hate that I’m a lesbian so I’m going to kill myself.” THAT would need to be disclosed.
Yes he was so wrong.
As a parent, I know I would want to know, but it would be much better hearing it from her when she was ready to tell us. No one has the right to reveal personal issues like that to another human being except for the one having those issues.
Yes, especially if she confided in him and trusted him to be sensitive with the issue.
@stargazerlillikat - Kermit the Frog. Or maybe Mickey Mouse.
If her sexuality has a bearing upon her schooling, no problems.
No, it wasn’t appropriate at all.
@mayanao - If they are in a position of confidence (it’s called “fiduciary”) then yes, you can!
@biatchh315 - Yeah, after reading the article, I know now what the situation was. Thanks.
It wasn’t his place, as a trusted confidant and as her school principal. Her sexuality isn’t something that he should have dabbled into in the first place.
He was totally out of bounds in his behavior. His job was to lead the school, not be the morality police.
Yes…………. what a F****** idiot. But on the other hand if her parents did not know, I think they are idiots too…
Yes. I’m glad his ass got demoted.
Seems wrong. Not sure how much parents have a right to know. Really depends on a lot of things. But seems wrong.
Yes…Although. ‘Kids’ do go through things that seem so real and every little thing seems so important and imperative. Being young is a time of learning. But regardless of whether it is legitmate, her feelings ahd personal rights still are. No, I still don’t think it was his place to mention it to anyone else. Though I’m wondering why she told him n the first place. Maybe she was experiencing problems from other students.
@Dare2BDiferentt - girl on girl action yo… hotness. Young sweet SOUTHERN girl on girl action.
I am so there.
Absolutely! I don’t even know what to say to this, other than I am infinitely glad that she won that case.
Jesus, what in the world.
yea pretty much.
my band teacher found out on a trip and forced my sister to come out of the closet in front of all of her class mates and to my parents as well..it’s cruel and none of the schools business…I don’t see principals telling parents everyday..HEY YOUR CHILD IS STRAIGHT! why, because it doesn’t matter
Yes. Right or wrong, it was up to the gurl to
ut” herself to her parents! Sometimes telling parents something that big can have a devastating effect. I think the least the Principal should do is lose his job!
No, I don’t think it was inappropriate. She is underage and is under her parents’ authority until she becomes an adult - they had every right to know about something like this (just like any parent has every right to know when their highschool daughter is pregnant).
The principal didn’t need to be a nutcase, however. I agree with his beliefs wholeheartedly but he could have gone about it a different way.
very interesting question. maybe so. whatever you do, NEVER violate something give to you in trust. if you feel you must do something, explain the best you can.
It sounds like any small community that thinks they are just doing the “right” thing. Without regard to the law or to modern society. Modern society isn’t perfect, but that doesn’t give him the right to treat students the way he did.
@JessicaAshley7 Just because the government set a random age before becoming a legal adult doesn’t automatically give parents as many rights as they think. What I am saying is the government makes up numbers for everything and then it’s ok. Driving = generally 16. Voting = 18 Drinking = 21 consentual sex = generally 16. So if a woman/girl can consent to having sex legally why is it a parents “right” to know if she is pregnant? Not like they won’t notice anyway. Or what her sexual orientation is.
I am a parent of a son (thank god) and I hope to be in the loop, but i do understand the need for privacy.
But I would hope that my child would have enough trust to tell me if he were gay.
This is very curious. Despite my lesbianism, I can see both sides of this issue … with, I bet, incomplete clarity. In many cases … there are IEDs waiting for you … no matter what road you take. My mother would have laughed at him … and then … offered him a cookie.
He was wrong for EVERYTHING he did. I heard about this yesterday on another site.
BTWL: He should have been fired, not demoted.
A teacher has a duty to protect his or her students, educate them, and ensure their safety. A teacher does not have the right to out a students sexual orientation to the whole world and systematically hunt down anyone supporting such belief. He throws away all his merit as a teacher: he’s just a fuckwit in a nicer suit.
In my country, Indonesia, being a lesbian is not a common matter. Therefore, I think the girl should not have told the principal about her being lesbian. It is her fault. Just tell to the parents directly
@GhostBenjimon - Haha. You’re crazy.
Inappropriate yes… worth suing over? no… if she was a stronger person she would have already told the parents herself… unfortunately we reward weakness in this country…
I think that was the girl’s place to tell her parents. The principle should have talked to her about ways that she could tell her parents and getting her more comfortable talking to them. Sometimes it’s easier to come out to someone else first before coming out to family.
the judge rules on behalf of the kid…and orders them to pay 325k which went to attorney’s fees. Is it me or is the ACLU getting some serious bank for supporting other’s rights? How much went to the girl? ~ jack
As a lesbian that came out late in life (40′s) I found that it was CRITICAL to accept myself BEFORE I ventured out and hoped others would accept me. The principal would have done her more good in finding a solid counselor that helped her figure out how to tell her parents herself and feel better about who she is.
@Revolving_Dragons - “Just because the government set a random age before becoming a legal adult doesn’t automatically give parents as many rights as they think.”
Parents have every conceivable right to do whatever they please in their child’s life, as long as it does not involve abuse, etc. In all actuality, I don’t care what our government sets as a “legal age.” At different times in history, children have been considered adults are different ages. Today’s adult becomes so in the 18 to 21 range, according to many factors. As long as they are children, it is the parents’ duty and responsibility to care for them and see to their needs. Unfortunately, many parents today do not accept this responsibilty, leaving it up to the government, school systems, or, worst of all, the children themselves. I daresay that if this girl was getting the proper care, respect, and love at home, her parents would have known and done the right thing on her behalf, avoiding this whole mess.
I think we agree in principle. I would be p*ssed if anybody tried to tell me what I could or couldn’t do within my own home. That was kinda my point, that legal ages have changed over time, but as a parent we take that as the end all be all, and it’s not always the case.
We don’t know what her childhood was like at home. Maybe she wasn’t loved, or even was, but it was too stick?so therefore she had no desire to speak to her parents about such an issue. That’s my only point. Her sexuality is her business. Nobody else’s until she chooses to tell them.
My experience with confiding in authority figures in schools is that they won’t phone the parents unless they feel that the student is in danger of hurting themselves or others, like when they talk about committing suicide or bringing a gun to school, or- more mildly- refusing to do classwork or something to that end. And those things make sense, and it is relevant to the school’s mission to report such things to the parents.
The sexual orientation of one student, given that it is not lewdly displayed within the school, is not of relevance to anyone but that student, and whomever she may choose to lavish her affections on. Therefore, so long as the relationship isn’t abusive, I feel that a principal should respect the privacy of the student, regardless of his opinion of her lifestyle.
NO. I think the parent has a right to know what their child is up to at school. With all our laws that can cause a principal or teacher to be sued for NOT telling parents or police information, it is upseting to see the reverse taking place. The precedent is being set to not only take parents out of their child’s affairs prior to their being 18 (while they are still legally responsible for much of their child’s affairs) but also to create a certain degree of contradiction in the laws.
I think he should have kept his mouth shut. If her parents didn’t know yet, that was obviously her business. There’s a point where the student’s life ISNT the educator’s concern. She wasn’t hurting anybody, Nobody’s life was in danger, and it wasn’t effecting her education in general. It’s her decision when her parents find out and how.