September 2, 2008
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Superficial Men
I posted an article in my photoblog about a man who wrote the book “The Re-education of the Female.”
He said that women should “stay thin and follow their man’s orders if they want to keep him.”
He went on to say that women “should wear sexy clothes while doing the cooking and cleaning.”
He said, “Men never really askfor anything. They command. And believe me, what you won’t do, 10broads around the corner will.”
He also wrote, “When you go to the grocery store to shop, doyou pick out the nastiest-looking, most rotten, smelliest fruit or meatyou can find? Oh you don’t? Why not? It’s the same with men when theysee … baby elephant-sized, out-of-shape women.”
The book is said to be selling off the shelves. Here is the link: Link
Someone commented that men tend to be more superficial than women.
Do you think men tend to be more superficial than women?
Comments (140)
sadly on the looks of women and what they think that means, yes.
mmmmmm….meh.
women are pretty dang superficial..
Fo’ sho’.
it’s split pretty evenly, if you ask me.
Women are just as superficial when it comes to other women. Everyone is less superficial when it comes to men. That’s why we can wear John Deere hats and bright orange hunting vests.
both are equally superficial, imo.
No, I think it is pretty equal. It all depends on the person.
I think both sexes are superficial. It just manifests itself in different ways. It depends on the person, as well. I know some men who are absolute gentlemen when it comes to women, and i don’t some women who only care about looks and money in men.
We’re better at covering it up.
I think we live in a superficial world! Pretenders are what most of us tend to be… I used to walk through the neighborhood next to mine, the houses were the size of mini mansions and people were driving BMW’s. On trash night, the curbs would be lined with boxes from new items such as, big screened tvs, computers and furniture. I would attend open house at school and these same resident’s wives would be wear huge diamonds and the latest high fashioned clothing with their lavish purses and their pretend smiles with their bleached teeth. Their children would come to my house which supplied only the necessities and their children would heavily judge mine.
I wonder where these people get all this money!
But I honestly think they are superficial, hiding behind their things because they fear if the stand outside of their possessions; no one will like them.
Judging from the book, I would say yes. But knowing all the girls I do, they are definitely the more superficial sex.
Men tend to be the most pickiest when it comes to the physical appereance of their others, so in that sense, yes they are.
@Rosie1268 - I really don’t get materialism. I like having cute new things when I can afford them, but my life doesn’t revolve around stuff. It’s not like you can take any of it with you when you die. Besides, all those really expensive shoes and purses are ugly.
This author is a disgusting pig from reading this so far.
I always thought I had the mind of a man and the body of a woman… Im pretty superficial.. its sad.
So he looks at women as meat huh? What a dick. And I am sorry but if my “man” looked like him then he can sure as hell find 10 broads around the corner then! Was that superficial enough?
no.
@KechiNeko244 - I dont think they are all ugly, I just would not pay that much for something that wont last more than a season.
Hey, if I can not pay cash for it; most likely, I dont have it.
Women are smarter than men, if ya ask me.
I dunno about superficial.
If you define superficial by a focus on appearance, then yes. But that’s just the way men are wired. I think it’s more important for them that their SO is attractive, at least that’s the stereotype. Personally, I want a good-looking guy. Does that make me shallow?
Well then, when his ass bloats, his belly is ballooned, he’s got E.D., he’s flat broke, and has a receeding hairline, he shouldn’t be too surprised when his woman dumps his ass for a “sexier” more appealing man. Let’s call it “The Re-Education of the Male”, shall we?
They can be, but I only think its due to society’s ever-changing view and roll of them. I still wouldn’t trade mine for anything less than a new minivan. Men are wonderful, after all, I think every girl ought to own one. – Bek
I think both men and women can be superficial. But if someone is only attracted to the superficial qualities in a person, the relationship is on rocky ground, and probably won’t last…what makes a relationship last are the deeper qualities in people that can’t be judged by the outside. And if a man (or woman, for that matter) ‘commands’ instead of asks, they are the lower person, in my opinion, than the one who is trying to please them.
“Superficial” knows no gender.
it depends on the topic and the person.
yes they are. you have a lot of proof on xanga. what more do you need. hah.
Meh, there is much grey area in this topic. It’s probably more on the even side than leaning towards one gender or the other. I’ve probably had contact with more superficial men than women but that doesn’t mean there aren’t superficial women out there.
I can’t speak for all men but out of the ones that I do know a good portion are very superficial but they put just as much weight into their own looks making them very insecure as well.
Honestly the book does sound like it raises a lot of true points … it’s sad that this is the way thinks work, but the book does seem to be on point in a lot of ways. the author of this book just seems to be putting it out there… if people have a problem with the way things are – then work on changing them “be the change you wish to see in the world”
No.
Depends on the man, just as it depends on the woman.
This man makes me sick.
I think its a two way street. Never read any of Zanes books though, but I’ve met a few women who do.
I’ve also met plenty of women who have those same viewpoints when it comes to men, except they DO ask for much…lol.
There are a lot of superficial guys out there, and in my personal experience an equal number of self-proclaimed “Queens” too…
OKAY!
He said, “Men never really ask
for anything. They command. And believe me, what you won’t do, 10
broads around the corner will.”
And vise versa. There are other fishes in the sea.
And yes, I think men are more superficial. A friend of mine talked to this girl on the phone for 4 hours without meeting her. When they met up, he didn’t even want to talk to her because she was bigger than him. Men are just simply too picky and an asshole to actually admit this. I bet most men on xanga will respond, “no… i’m caring” bullshit. I don’t think any men will actually put themself into a situation where they would meet a caring, yet pretty-ugly looking chick. They would look the other way where this nice ass chick.
Women? We’re just smarter, and know how to cover it up better.
-CrazyKey123
All I’m gonna say is that if that were true, this wouldn’t be such a “best seller”
P.S.: calling women “broads” isn’t superficial — it’s sexist.
@randomneuralfirings - I like your answer!
No, I wouldn’t make a blanket statement like that.
I just think that this guy tends to be more of a sexist asshole than most human beings.
@Maestro_Breezy – I agree
naaaaaah. women are pretty superficial too…
No, everybody’s good at being superficial. Check out this end of the spectrum.
Both but it seems like guys can be more open about being superficial.
I think black men are superficial and careless with women. I also think out of all the races, they get “pampered” the most. I see sooo many black women paying for their black men, catering to their black men. Whereas….asian men do 90% of the paying. I just dont get why these chicks are oblige.
justly so, they make more money than women – 30%more, so they’re just buying arm candy.
did you hear that pallin has 1 17 yr old daughter, unmarried but pregnant. YEAH, i dont trust herrr genetic mobility!
Depends on the person I think.
PEOPLE are superficial.
I’m getting totally off topic, but is this guy serious? People are actually buying this book? Why??? (and it had to be a black guy) **shakes head**
I’ve been thinking this sense I was 13 but I still believe boys are more superficial. I don’t have any evidence except my childhood and you guys don’t wanna hear that story…
what a prick.
Funny…I was having a lunch conversation about the roles of guys and girls. What guys seem to forget these days is that girls are also working 40-hours a week. If the man comes home all worn out and expects his girlie to cook and clean and cater to his every need…he is completely ignoring the fact that she, too, had a long day of work and is probably also worn out.
I’d stay thin and make a man’s home a paradise if I got to stay home and not work.
Men aren’t more superficial, they are just taking thier sweet time adjusting to women working and not being able to keep up on things such as their body, cooking, cleaning, or other such man-pleasing activities.
If I was just dating around or dating for apperances, then yes, I would be extremely concerned about my sex appeal or my willingness to obey. But I would be equally superficial in terms of my expectations toward him.
However, I couldn’t imagine being in a loving relationship in which I am constantly worried about his faithfulness because I chose to wear sweat pants while washing dishes. And a man who commands me to do something is not a man that I could ever respect.
What I do find funny is that girls will hold men to higher standards when it comes to one night stands in fear that their friends will find out. However, a man would take anything that bats their eyes. How odd.
Woah there! Broads?! I’m sorry, but the whole premise of that book is playing off the insecurity some women have that they have to be some doormat in order to win the affection of a man. I think both the sexes can be superficial.
not really, we just don’t settle.
it seems like hes assuming that any man we would have/want would be an absolute jerk…
No way! Women are just as superficial. There are men and women who are very superficial. There are men and women that are not superficial at all. I don’t think it is a thing of gender at all.
Not at all. I think people forget sometimes that everyone sucks, not just the opposite gender.
No. Men are often more easily swayed by good looks. But that’s not the only way to be distracted by superficialities. Women make their share of bad decisions.
I would say that the culture we live in is highly superficial towards women and not so much towards men. Thus because all of us are products of that culture, all of us (both men and women) tend to be highly superficial when evaluating a woman.
That said, this guy sounds like a real asshole who belongs back in the mid-1800′s.
Nah men and women are both very superficial.
If you embrace a superficial life, then its bound to taste hollow when you finally bite in. But people have been known to live on empty calories and sugar… even if it rots your teeth and your insides.
Point is, you dont get the best out of life when you act like an a$$hole.
I’d say yes, but man, what an ass. If those are really the requirements for keeping a man, I’ll keep my dignity instead.
When it comes to love Men are more superficial. For men the looks matters more when come choosing a mate. For women stability and personality is the most important things concerning finding their soul mates.
Men I talk to like normal women, not ones this idiot describes. That woman on the right needs to lose some weight. She’s not thin.
Our society is superficial. We may try hard to escape that, but it’s true. Men are very superficial, for the most part, because they are wired visually. Women, while they may be superficial at first, are also emotional people, so they tend to see the person underneath, perhaps before the man does. But there are always exceptions to the rules. I think everyone is at least a little superficial.
And as for that book… well, I think a lot of people already know how I feel about that. But please, if you haven’t, please feel free to read my rant.
http://weblog.xanga.com/point_of_no_R3turn/672718437/you-know-what-peopl.html
@mkenyon719 - But she black, so shawtie need ta be thick. Damn, don’tu no whut a nigga like nomore?
Oh, I am such a terrible person.
both the same i guess
Speaking empirically, no, because I’m the most superficial person I know, and I’m a woman.
in my experience men will cheat whether or not ur attractive or talented or keep up the house. it’s just in their nature…u can’t find a man that isn’t sneaky in one way or another. object if u want but deep down we all know there must be truth to this.
@oOBuBBLes711Oo - Wow. Way to be racist.
My boyfriend is black. We pay depending on who has more money at the time (for the first half of our relationship so far, that was usually me; now, it’s usually him). AND he does anything I ask without question, ever, not because he’s a blind whipped fool but because he cares that much about my own happiness.
So don’t generalize based on your own experiences, please.
Eh, I guess solely when deciding who they would or would not date. But women do their share of superficial absurdities, too.
Between me and my boyfriend, it’s hard to tell which of us actually is more superficial. I think it might be me. O.O
And does anyone else think the girl on the left is SO MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE than the girl on the right?
@redjolie - You obviously have never met my boyfriend George, or my best friend Steven, or my good friend Tilley. I invite you to do so if you’re ever in Georgia.
@randomneuralfirings - Agreed.
@la_faerie_joyeuse - Lol, I was thinking the same thing but was too scared to say anything.
@randomneuralfirings - I agree. Obviously one could find areas where women are more superficial and areas where men are but my thinking is “why try to scale it?”. We all buy into our own superficial things. Heck, even my profile pics probably speaks volumes about mine.
Some are and some aren’t. But if my husband spoke to me like this fool speaks about women, I don’t think my husband would have a penis anymore. I’m kidding. I’m a big girl and my husband loves me and my curves. I also believe that women can be just as superficial as men can be, I’ve done it. I admit. But I’ve also grown up and realized that it’s not about looks or how good they smell.
A lot of men are, but a lot of men aren’t, but then the same goes with women. But women though, MONEY rules over the looks a lot of times. It all just depends on the person really. You can’t lump ALL men in this catagory, just like you can’t lump ALL women in another. With the phrase of your question even as in MOST. Most may think superficial, but I think it would surprise MOST women how that number drops when actually acting on it.
It all depends on what the person is doing, really. Perhaps men tend to do more activities where superficiality is all they have to work with. If a man and a woman are looking for two different things, it’s unfair to compare the means they use to go about finding it.
@randomneuralfirings - That is the truth!
I’m going to comment, but not really answer your question. I don’t think you’ll mind.
I don’t know if I commented yet or not, but the whole idea of his book is stupid. Give me a break. Re-education of the female? It’s obvious to see that anyone who has it in their mind to build deep, meaningful relationships has to avoid this book. Comparing looking for a partner/spouse to browsing for groceries? How asinine. Sure, looks have their place when it comes to attraction and starting relationships, but I think this book takes relationships to a meaningless level. Love isn’t decided by someone following orders or staying is shape. I’m going to puke all over this keyboard.
The woman in yellow is actually tons more attractive than the slutty looking woman, too. Gosh…So frustrating….
We live in a superficial era, I suppose..Hm.
Definitely not. Men may be more upfront about how superficial they are but women take it to a new level, IMO. They are not only superficial about men (in private, which is different compared to men) but they are superficial about themselves and how they act and appear. Not all women- of course- but I’d say quite a bit more than men.
As far as the book, I’d want to read it just because it’s so ridiculous but I wouldn’t want to give him any money.
Note to self: punch Dante Moore in the balls.
unfortunately yes.
@mkenyon719 - Never be afraid. You can be right or wrong (and you have to be willing to entertain the possibility!), but you should never fear the reactions of others.
Depends on the person. Men are superficial about women but not about men. Women are the same way.
I think a better question to ask would be, “Doesn’t this book look hilarious?” It sure does. Though perhaps not as intended…
I have two words for that guy..
Shut up..
Its about the same.
All people are superficial to a degree.
But what is NOT necessarily superficial is the fact that men DO want (and need) an attractive, kind, clean, submissive woman who will work with him not against him. It’s not superficial…it’s the way we are created. This does not mean the guy is off the hook for being a jerk, however. A relationship isn’t about getting all you can…it’s about working together.
And by the way…the guy with long dreads down his back looks pathetic. That’s my opinion, of course…superficial as it may be.
I don’t know who is more supercifial between men and women, but most people are damn superficial if you ask me.
Duh.
I think it depends on the person.
I think there’s a difference in being attracted to women who are in shape, take care of their bodies, etc, and being superficial. I don’t agree with his positions on subjugating women — at least not to that extent; but if he’s given his position thought, then I wouldn’t classify it as superficial, just sexist.
I find that women generally like men who command, take the lead in the relationship, etc. If a woman wants to make a decision, then she’ll make a suggestion — especially if something means a lot to her. And if a man thinks that it’s manly not to respond to that, she’ll lose just as much respect for him then as she would if he failed to be a leader and make decisions.
He views women as subjects, not partners.
yes.
There’s no such thing as superficial attraction, since sexual attraction is based on a sex instinct, which is not a faculty of reason. Since attraction is unthinking, it is wrong to define a particular preference as superficial. The management of a relationship is what thought goes into, and so certain strategies could rightly be called superficial.
@static_song - I think that’s also a good explanation.
the media most definitely does not help.
I think it varies a lot from person to person.
No, it’s just more acceptable for us to be superficial.
Which is stupid and wrong, but hey, the world is run by idiots, what are you gonna do?
Its about 50/50.
Men are pretty superficial… but so are women… women just go about it in more subtle ways. -_-
nope… it goes both ways, not just one >.<
from those quotes you put up, that author has no respect… i don’t want a man to give me orders to keep his ass… >.<
men and women are equally superficial.
now isn’t that just terrible?
Not really.
@la_faerie_joyeuse - Gotta love racism, m’dear.
Superficiality can’t be held only between one gender. It’s everywhere, men and women. Women write books about how men should talk and act too, despite that it’s wrong.
@oOBuBBLes711Oo - Yep…it’s a Momma factor.
@mi1kandcerea1 - you said it.
No. But I think that the word superficial is thrown around too much. Yes, some people are truly superficial, in that they only care about looks in a relationship. But the thing is, everyone has preferences as far as looks are concerned. It’s only natural to want physical attraction to be part of the equation in a relationship. It’s not the whole equation, but it is part of it. Superficial people make it everything. Normal people acknowledge it, but realize other things count, too. And it really only matters that YOU find the person attractive. Your friends don’t have to. Society doesn’t have to. But if you don’t find your romantic partner attractive, why not just be friends? It’s more honest that way. I have heard so many people say that women who prefer to date someone taller than them are superficial. Maybe so, but what’s more superficial: having a preference for a certain body type or dating someone you aren’t attracted to just so other people will see how accepting and un-superficial you are?
@Dare2BDiferentt - hahahaha,,, how many men do you see on the back of a scooter? nothing more need be said.
couple of hot looking chicks there in the pic,,, you think they are really interested in what the weird guy with the ponytail says?? i guess thats a pony tail,,, or is it a shadow….
i looked again,,, its a pony tail,,, and those pants,,,, hahahahahahaha
I wouldn’t know. I have reached this higher plane of reality.
Drakonskyr knows all about it. I am in my own universe, and it is good.
What were you asking?
men and women are both superficial..
men more so than women, women just want the things that are obvious that they are being superficial: power, looks, wealth…. etc..
men are SO much more demanding, they want women to wait on them hand and foot and still be able to look hot in the process…. these kinds of things you don’t notice until later on…
and men want women to stay hot… how the hell are we supposed to stay hot when we’re tired and stressed from obeying your every command?
I know people of both genders who could be described as superficial. Most people I know & hang out with are NOT.
As to this guy, he’s beyond superficial. He’s a sleeze. Those 10 broads are welcome to him and he to them. Yech!
~~Blessings ‘n cheers
No one is more superficial than the other. That idiot has just done a lot of men a great disservice by labelling the male species in general as a cad.
Women can be just as superficial in some aspects. So meh.
NO! That’s such a lie. Sorry, but women can (and are) just as bad. I admit I’m superficial. I mean I’d date a guy with meat on his bones, but if he’s pushing obese then no way in Hell. Same with bad teeth (that’s a no), long hair (no), bad peircings or tattoos (no), dresses like a thug/punk/goth (no), went to the same high school as me (no haha). And I refuse to be with a man who doesn’t have a degree from a 4 year college and a credited one at that. None of that Devry B.S. I need a guy who’s on my level. My boyfriend’s superficial too, but we meet eachother’s standards and will never allow either of ourselves to become something the other would find unappealing so it’s no biggie.
Both are superficial. It’s up the each person to change that aspect of themselves.
I dunno, I pretty freaking superficial.
Toward other women, yeah, but mostly toward men
I can’t date someone not attractive and in shape.. .. But really, why would anyone date someone they weren’t attracted to? That’s why beauty’s in the eye of the beer- erm, BEholder
The title’s half right. Females do need to be re- educated, on keeping men however….that’s up for debate. I find it troublesome to meet the right kinds of people let along, potential life partner.
I still think that the author of the book is a sexist @$$.
I am sick of my hubs friends refering me as his “old lady”, one I am not his first wife…she is old..er… I am not his mom.
I hate men calling women sluts when they are sluts also, I mean come on, but, when I know a guy who sleeps around, I call his sorry ass a slut. Men have so many names for women that are degradeing and the author of the book apparently likes to use them.
If I am going to cook and clean for anyone, it will be for my kids and my self. Maybe for my parents when they get to where they can not do for themselves anymore. But if I am in a relationship with another adult, by the gods, he better pull his weight also. If he works, what ever, if I am working is it my sole responsiblility to care for the kids, the house, and help pay the bills, and be dressed sexy to keep his friggin atttention. HELL NO. He better be keeping my attention because if I am not respected, his ass is out.
I am superficial when it comes to me, but I think when it comes to my SO I am not. I don’t worry about it unless it is affecting his health- too thin or too big… So yeah. I know lots and lots of men who go for looks first then personality. So for me, on that point, men are very superficial. Or maybe society with women in general.
Most people are pretty superficial. And considering that ~80% of the country is overweight & ~30% is obese, it seems most of us are also rather hypocritical.
Further explanations here: http://jjwshw.isagenix.com/us/en/home.dhtml
I think there are superficial guys and girls out there..it’s really how they were brought up.
“Superficial” has no boundaries.
I wonder if the book is flying off shelves because of the topic or because it says Zane at the top. I work at a library and people are always asking for Zane books, so it wouldn’t surprise me if that’s one of the main selling points of the book.
I think the book is terrible though.
I honestly think that men are.. But maybe that is because I am a woman that who looks beyond looks.. I was told before that men want eye candy on their arm.. I guess it all depends.. (i’m trying to think of all the people i know who are single and on the market) well,, yes of the men I know,, they want eye candy.
Nope, I think Dante Moore is wrong.
Sure, there are superficial men out there and there are superficial women, but many men do not feel the way he describes them, at least not the ones I know. Plus, I wouldn’t be around anyone who acted or believed that way anyways.
I think woman are more superficial about themselves and men and more superficial about woman. Amount wise it’s probably about the same but the target is just different.
I know that men feel they are”masters” of women, and that they can be as ignorant as they want to be and women are still “suppose” to put up with it( they think,lol). I like this gif I found a few years ago:
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y75/fffangirl/Sig_WomenDress.jpg
It reminds me of this topic
That guy is an Asshole. The people who are buying his book are idiots..assholes need to be ignored.
I agree with the ” Its looks evenly split to me” comments.
I’m quite sure that men are WAY more superficial than women
Fo fookin’ shure. Like, what’s wrong with men?! All men like thin women, not really but MOST of them seem to. >_>; Not that I don’t like my attractive men …
Whatevs. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with a lil’ bit of superficialness.
Those quotes disgust me. They show a total disregard for the natural beauty given to women by God. They also show that what’s important is not a happy, intelligent woman that sometimes wears sweatpants. Screw that guy. I will never date him because he could never be good enough for me with his ignorant comments and intolerant views. Have some damn respect for other human beings!
Depends on the guy.
You know, it’s interesting–my boyfriend–and I’m what you call a submissive in the BDSM world–has repeatedly told me he doesn’t care what I look like and loves me and thinks I “rock”. I cook for him and clean for him…but keep myself “thin”? Thin doesn’t mean healthy. And I’m not “fat” either, if you like to use that word. And every woman is beautiful in her own way and there is a man out there that thinks so. This idiot is selling those books to other like-minded idiots who are just as superficial as he is. So no, I don’t think ALL men are more superficial than women. Only some, and there are women who think just like those men do. It’s irritating, though. Get the fuck over yourselves and get lives, because I guarantee, while you think you look great now, in twenty years, you’ll be just as “disgusting” to yourself as you claim others are now, just for the way they look.
i definitely think so.
Sickening……makes Theun Mares look like a saint.
HaHa….some women are uber superficial, as are some men. depends a great deal on the people.
For example: if the man has lots of money….then yes, there is 65% chance that he’s a superficial flake…………….and…………….look at what kind of women a man with money is going to atract: Goldiggers, now, would you call goldiggers superficial?? I would.
But, there is a ray of hope. Look at Mr. Darcy….quite rich….but a gentleman of morals nonetheless.
True he is a fictitious character………but, to quote Hermione Granger, all fiction has a basis in fact.
I agree, it depends on the person.
I wouldn’t pick Dante Moore if he were the last man on earth. So THERE.
I think that both men and women can be superficial.
It sounds like the long-expected backlash to feminism is about to unfold. Male chauvinists arise! You have nothing to lose but your feminine side!!
Of course, that’s a bit extreme on the author’s part. It was probably done to be deliberately provocative. However, looking back at all the radical garbage that feminists have propogated over the years- and all the misery it’s brought to American families- I’d say a little comeuppance, however silly in spots, might be in order.