November 18, 2008
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Weight Gain in a Marriage
I mentioned in my photoblog Manuel Uribe (once named the world’s fattest man) and how his friends built him a special ramp so his wife could have sex with him.
There were some people who commented using expressions like “eww” and “gross.” But his wife walked into the marriage knowing he was overweight and he is actually losing weight.
So I wanted to focus our attention on weight gain after we get married. Most of us do not keep the body types that we had when we first got married.
But what if the weight gain is subtle and takes place over a few years?
I am not talking about being super fat. I am talking about weight gain that so many people see over time. And I am also talking about some people who may not be attracted to someone who is overweight. Certainly this is a factor in some marriages.
We said in our vows, “in sickness and in health. . .” but there was nothing about “in fatness or thin. . .”
Is there a reasonable expectation in a marriage to keep a certain body weight?
Comments (105)
Yes! Can’t get married looking good then let yourself go… :
Yes and no. Some people are purely superficial and some will love the person because of what is on the inside.
Absolutely.
I think that people should strive to be as healthy as possible, both for themselves and their partner.
I’m not necessarily the best example of that. But that’s what I consider ideal.
If your getting married it is a good idea to know what you are getting into, people don’t stay good looking forever,
but sure, it is a good idea not to just let go of yourself when you get hitched, but remember is it a two way street
“Get married while the sex is still good or you will never get married”
Nearly everyone gains that “comfort weight”. You should still try to remain healthy and active for your own sake.
Just to clarify, I said “eww” in that last post of yours and I just happen to be a curvy chick. A little “thick” if you will… and some of it was gained after we got married but the hubby knew I wasn’t miss USA when he married me. But I think you should try to look as sexy as you can for your husband/wife because that shows that you still care about them. True love doesn’t care what you look like (cares more about your health which goes hand in hand with weight) but doing things like keeping your body in shape (or at least where you were when you met) is just a gift you can keep on giving your spouse. That’s in a perfect world by the way. We all put on weight when we get married (most of us do anyway). But true love doesn’t care. Just take care of yourself and don’t die at 45 due to a massive heart attack because you weighed 800 lbs.
I agree with SladetheGreyFox. I mean, as we age, it’s to be expected. But I think it’s an individual responsibility to keep yourself feeling good. Extreme weight gain doesn’t just affect the other person because of appearance, it will change the attitude, confidence and mood of the overweight person, which will likely affect your relationship overall.
no, but it sure helps keep thier interest.
The vow stands, no matter if a person lets himself go or not.
But, consideration for one’s spouse and respect for one’s own body are something we all need to strive for. I personally don’t want to let myself go, not only for my future husband, but because I’m not happy when I’m fat.
What about the part of the vows that say, “For better or for worse?”
It doesn’t have to be strict or anything but at least for the sake of being healthy it should be expected that your partner doesn’t become super morbidly obese after you get married. Now, if you’re marrying someone who’s already super morbidly obese then you go do that, I know I couldn’t.
Weight gain happens regardless if you’re married or not. It’s important to stay healthy but a few extra pounds is not going to hurt, as long as you don’t go into morbidly obese.
Marriage vows are clear. And of course it’s expected that body types change over time. If I were married, my husband’s weight gain wouldn’t be an issue for me, and if it did affect our attraction or lovemaking, hopefully we’d deal with it in a manner that honored our vows.
Let remember that most people don’t try to gain weight on purpose. There are SO many other factors that happen. For starters, woman gain weight during pregnancy. And weight gain also is connected to many mood disorders. You go through a wave of depression and before you know it, you are 50 pounds heavier than you ever imagined. And it’s far harder to shake that weight off than it was to gain it. That is where in the “sickness and health” come in hand. If your spouse does end up overweight, don’t be mean about…support them in getting healthy phyically, and if need be emotionally, again.
Gaining a few more pounds doesn’t matter and usually both partners add a bit weight.
I think that you should take care of yourself to some degree. I know that with age and stress you will not look like you did when you were younger, but on the same note you shouldn’t let yourself get out of hand for your partner and yourself. I don’t mind someone stacking on a few pounds, but being the world’s fattest man is not sexy at all. I’m not even being superficial, it just is a turn off when you weigh 800 lbs like that….for various reasons than just looks but I don’t want to be thinking of him having a heart attack and all that because of his weight and to get that way even over time it makes it seem like you didn’t care so it makes it hard for your spouse to care after awhile too.
I would marry Matthew still if he gained a belly. It’s not about weight. It’s about love and family and accepting someone as they are.
Though it’s good health practice to NOT gain weight, it’s pretty much expected that everyone will gain weight as they get older…or have kids.
I would say when you get married, there is a reasonable expectation that your spouse (and you!) will age. With age comes physical changes. That is normal.
I can see how someone would be disappointed, though, if their spouse immediately starting letting themselves go after the wedding. In a way, that could be similar to a change of character. If someone is vigilant about keeping themselves in shape before marriage, that is almost certainly one of the things that attracted their partner. If their whole attitude, I can see that partner being confused and possibly hurt.
Think of it this way- before you marry, your partner is very careful with finances- budgeting, saving, not spending more than they can afford- then, when you marry, they become very loose with money- not paying bills, buying things spur of the moment, being cagey about spending- wouldn’t a big change like that be strange and possibly alarming to their spouse?
Stress alone in a marriage can cause weight gain. I lost 30 pounds after my husband left. For some people maybe it is a protection thing. I only know that after five children, jobs where you sit 8 to 10 hours a day, and no major exercise, then yeah, the weight comes on. No excuses, just reality. Do I think it is a reason to leave? No, I do not.
I think it is reasonable to expect your spouse to do what they can to stay healthy, and to try to look attractive for you. It’s not grounds for divorce if they don’t, but I think it’s considerate of your spouse to want to satisfy them physically.
But you also have to factor in unexpected health conditions. I had no idea I’d get a respiratory condition at 25 and lose all the weight I tried so hard to gain earlier. I am trying to get better, but I can’t wave a magic wand and make it happen. I didn’t plan for this. If I were married, I would understand if my husband no longer found me attractive, but I would not understand if he left me, especially after he said “in sickness and in health.”
My cousin got a thyroid condition after she got married, and it makes it very difficult for her to keep the weight off. She’s trying, and she’s doing the best she can, but it’s hard, and she didn’t expect that to happen to her. It would be cruel of her husband to leave her because of that. When you marry someone, you have to factor that in and decide ahead of time you will be committed to your spouse even if they go through that.
LOL – I saw this guy on TLC or Discovery Health a while back. I believe that he married his hair dresser or similar.
Anyway, I think that there is both a reasonable expectation to lose and gain weight. My husband and I have been trying to lose weight together for the past several years, since we met. We both gained some weight but lost only part of it so far. We are still trying to lose the weight but know that the holidays are coming. LOL and we both love to eat!
fat is gross. Must.not.eat so if I ever get married my husband wont leave me.
HA
I think there is a difference between gaining some pounds but still keeping a happy, fairly healthy lifestyle and gaining enouhg weight so you are physically unable to keep up with your spouse.
The first is fine, the second is unfair to your spouse.
With women it is expected even. Women have children, and that changes their metabolism. Did you know in some cultures there is considered something wrong with a mother who is not overweight?
But in all honestly if you love somebody it shouldn’t matter their weight. And if somebody was enough of an asshole to care if you put on weight, then that is not real love.
Happy, content weight gain is normal in a marriage. Change of lifestyle and a lot of other factors contribute to that more than letting yourself go. I would never say I let myself go, yet I gained a lot of weight during my short marriage. I wasn’t consider heavy or overweight. But when he left me . . . so did the 20+ pounds. Again, lifestyle change.
you should love ur partner no matter what
im fat and i love thick girls so i really dont have a prob wit it
I think weight gain during marriage does matter. Personally, if my husband “let himself go”, then I would feel offended that he doesn’t care about his health or appearance. I want him to be around as long as possible, and weight does affect one’s health and lifespan.
I take care of myself, even after having a baby because I want to be around long enough to see my grand-babies have babies, and so on. My body has changed after having a baby, as is to be expected, but I lost all the weight from pregnancy and am trying to stay healthy.
I do think that some weight gain should be expected and tolerated, as our metabolism slows with age. But, the important thing is to still take care of yourself appearance and hygiene-wise, no matter your weight.
As you get older your metabolism get slower. In addition, you’re not out as much running the roads and being as obsessed with whether or not you look good…you’ve already found a significant other. And if that is not reason enough…when you were younger you were satisfied with a bowl of cereal for dinner…once you’re married you often start having dinner toghether each night.
Now then, as far as weight expectations go…I gained a BUTT LOAD of weight when I got married and my exhusband was not supportive of me losing at all. If I bought diet coke for myself and regular for him he would constantly nag that diet wasn’t good for me. If I was eating healthy he would walk in with burgers and fries. It wasn’t until after my divorce, when I finally had NO ONE to bring me down, that I was disciplined enough to lose my weight…and it fell right off. For this I say, if a spouse is unhappy with the others weight then they need to be tactful and encouraging in helpign to get that weight off.
if i were to marry the guy i am currently with i know for a fact that he would love me no matter how fat i got (though he might get upset if i got too thin…). I, on the other hand, would not love myself anymore if i got fat- which is why i made a commitment to myself (the most important relationship in my life) that i will not go over a certain weight (that weight is about 37 pounds which keeps me still within ‘normal’ bmi) unless it’s because im carrying another person. regardless of what anyone else thinks you have to like yourself enough to commit to doing what makes you happy even if that compromises your slacking off and junkfood binging time.
anyone that reaches obesity is just lazy. in marriage or not.
hmmm… yes and no…
work out together. people should try and be healthy.. and that does not mean pencil thin, but it also does not mean 2-seats on an airplane big, either.
I think it’s just one of those things you have to talk about before getting married. If it’s really important to you to be with someone who stays in great shape for their whole life, then you need to be clear about that before tying the knot, because not all people want to put in the effort to keep themselves up like that. Aging bodies change a bit over time, it’s kind of unreasonable to expect your 60 year old wife to look as hot as she did at 25.
I don’t understand why people get all grossed out over a little weight gain though, it’s still the same person, they’re just a bit.. softer
If you really love somebody I can’t see a few extra pounds being detrimental to your attraction for them. Becoming morbidly obese, sure but that’s just plain unhealthy.
well, as i intend to impregnate my fiance at some point following our impending marriage, and there is a certain weight gain expected with being pregnant, i will actually be disappointed if she doesn’t gain a little weight.
she’s actually lost quite a bit during the time we’ve been dating. we eat pretty healthy.
seriously, if someone’s weight is at all what you are in it for, you are doing it wrong.
i think that is the last thing shallow people hold onto when they get married and older…
obviously the looks go and the energy and overall youth…but the only thing we can change and look natural doing it ( injecting bacteria under your skin and havign surgery done onto urself…..thats just pathetic) is losing weight and keeping thin….
i say, embrace old age and enjoy life in its many stages….cuz u never know if there is an after hehehe
=P
Some people are really into chubby sex.
*pokes belly* hmm
i think with certain life events like college, marriage, giving birth, menopause a little weight gain is enevitable. nice thing about weight tho, it’s not permanent!
also the “ideal” woman in our society is too skinny anyways
nah i dont think so
but you can try your best to stay fit
Weight gain has always been a problem for me. I’m one of those folks who spends way too much time in front of a computer monitor, and way too little time doing anything physical. The Navy kept me from getting very overweight (and helped me take off quite a few pounds in boot camp), and my wife and I met and got married while I was still in. However, since I’ve left, I’ve gained quite a bit of weight, and finding the motivation to do something about it is very difficult. This is not helped by the fact that my wife doesn’t seem to mind, she loves me for who I am and not what I look like. I’m certainly not complaining, but it makes it difficult to get the motivation, especially when she’s such a damn good cook and makes things like chicken fried steak, chicken and dumplings, all sorts of yummy desserts, etc etc. She’s still young and has that fast metabolism that she can eat that crap and stay trim.
So, I would say there isn’t a requirement to stay at or around the weight that you were when you married, but that it depends entirely upon the people and what they want from the relationship. She still tells me I’m sexy all the time; I don’t believe her, but I know she believes it, so we’re still happy.
Time for me to go do some sit-ups.
just try and be healthy for each other. thats the fucking point. you dont want one of you leaving the other because they’re sick or something. not about weight.
Its reasonable to stay healthy, in regards to what you are in control of.
Its not fair to expect someone who develops a thyroid condition to be of a normal weight, in contrast to someone whose body is healthy but they just sit around and eat bon bons all day and get fat.
Everyone has different expectations about marriage, but I think we would all be better off if we kept fit — physically and emotionally.
But expecting your spouse’s physical attributes to remain the same throughout the marriage is NOT a reasonable expectation. Bodies age and fall apart. That’s just part of life. If a partner has stopped making sensible health decisions, there maybe be underlying causes that need addressed. In any relationship, communication is key.
All I’m worried about is staying healthy. My boyfriend and I probably will gain weight, but as long as we don’t become unhealthy it isn’t a big deal.
I’ve been with my guy for 2 years, 8 months, and we’ve been married for just about 4 months now…he’s gained probably 30-40 pounds since March of 2006, but I’d never even realized it until I looked at really old pictures of us together, or when he complains about his weight…yea, it was a significant weight gain, but it happened so gradually that I honestly didn’t notice or care…of course, now we’re both slightly lumpy and untoned and he’s unhappy about his weight(I feed him too well, I suppose)…so we’re going to start playing tennis every day, just to get in shape…
i think “for better or for worse” covers that.
You and your loaded questions! No one knows what the future will bring…
@cre13 - I got a heart attack at age 40. I went from my high school weight to 224 (6 ft. tall). After I had surgery, I went down to 171, and I am currently 163, 75 years old, and married to the same gal for 53 years. We sure look different, but you are right—it is about true love and health.
frank
Yea I believe if you let yourself get that big, then you must not care too much about yourself. And if you can’t care about yourself, then how are you going to care enough for another?
Ugh God it is my major goal in life to not get fat when I get married. LOL!! Most women’s problems are they get fat when they get married because they have problems losing weight after they have babies.
i think they should try to stay in shape..purely for health. it should be a joint effort on both parties. they should go to the gym together if need be.
I was fat when I got married,so this is one less thing that I have to worry about.
I am kind of shallow about how my partners look. I take care of my weight and health — so should (s)he!
All I know is when I get about 65-70, I am going to quit caring about the weight thing, lol. And if I’m ugly then, won’t care either. I’m going to eat as I want and finish out my days without the stress of the “weight” issue, lol, that being IF I live until then, lol.
Losing weight to get laid? Shallow! Superficial! Fake!
Losing weight to feel better and be healthy? The right reason.
The answer is no.
I think that if someone is the type of person where how their partner stays healthy and how their body looks matters to them, then they should only get married to someone who puts it in their weekly routine to work out and stay fit and healthy. Usually, people that do this already, dont just stop one day or let themselves go.
I dont think it is right to let yourself go after you get married or even after a long term relationship. It should be everyones goal to stay healthy…not just for their partner and even their family, but for themselves. I would break up with someone because they gained too much weight – It is unhealthy and gross. Yes, thats right, I said it. BUT before I would break up with them, I would talk to them and say “Hey, when we met, I was really attracted to you. As time has gone on, you have gained some weight and I couldnt help but notice. I think we should start going to the gym together or start buying healthier foods so we BOTH can be healthier and work on our fitness.”
If that doesnt work…PEACE!
@cre13 - I agree and disagree with you. True love does continue to love despite the weight. But love and physical attraction are definitely not the same thing. You can love someone just as much or more as you did when you said “I do” and still find it difficult to get in the mood if your spouse has begun to look unattractive to you. Both spouses should take care of themselves to preserve the quality of the sexual relationship.
There is a reasonable expectation for your spouse to take care of their self.
well my husband is in the Marines, I’ve seen not weight attractive Marines, but I told my husband he can’t get like that. and I have a really hard time gaining weight and am trying to acually.
But it’s like you can’t make yourself look awesome in the dating field and then get married and let all that go. Weight or personality or anything wise.
If the attraction dies then the marriage will too. Petty fights will break out and that’ll lead to its death. That’s just the way it is. Unless there’s an attraction to something other then appearance.
Before you get married would you kiss someone you were repulsed by? After you’re married, why should you be any different? It doesn’t make it right, but it’s reality.
It’s funny how many women kill themselves to lose weight before the wedding (to look good in pictures) and then pack it on (and more) after. It happens all the time.
Personally, I lost 60 lbs after I got married. That was more because having a kid motivated me to make my life better (and it wasn’t baby-weight, I was that fat before getting pregnant).
It all depends on how you look at things. Some people feel like it’s safe to “stop trying” because their married. When people have kids after marriage, they just don’t have time to try. It’s always complicated, but I always see people gain weight when they are married.
I feel like the burden’s on the woman for this one. Yeah, men lose the six pack eventually and may even gain a beer belly – women straight up MORPH. Due to having kids and whatnot, and also our metabolisms slow down sooner and more than men’s do. It sucks.
I can’t even look to my mom for solace in this one because the woman’s 5’10 and has abs. I’m 5’2 so this is likely not my future. Sometimes genetics simply aren’t fair.
it’s just padding for all that bumping around married couples do
and as long as both spouses are healthy and maintaining their hygeine there’s nothing wrong with weight gain:)
If someone has a problem with weight, and they gain some after they get married, then that’s not their fault. They should at least try and lose it though.
Now if someone puts on weight just because they lose control or something then come on, stop being lazy and lose it.
I mean I guess it doesn’t matter about how fat or skinny or what ever you are, as long as they are them then you’ll love them, but honestly, if you don’t like fat people you aren’t going to be as attracted to them and it’ll be pretty hard to love someone if your not attracted to them.
If she didn’t mind him being… overweight and still wanted him, then maybe she likes o_O fat people. And he is losing weight so maybe she feels she can help him and he just needs someone to be there for him.
true love is true love no matter the weight size, but it’s still good to keep yourself healthy. nuff’ said
I don’t think it should matter. I hope my husband doesn’t gain a buttload of weight and look like Chris Farley though, lol. A little is fine.
@listen_to_The_Pixies - lol, your description MORPH made me giggle.
I’ve seen his story and he was previously married. His wife left him and he gained more weight. His current wife who was a friend first was by his side through good and bad. NEVER SAY NEVER! If you say eew today, in the future someone might say eew to you. Our bodies change with age and this does not mean that the person is greety by any means. Seriously…grow up!
No. My husband and I got together at the age of 16… 10 years and 3 children later, we do not resemble our 16 year old bodies AT ALL. We are still super-sexy though
Wow…what happened for loving a person for who they are? That’s the reason I don’t agree with marriage. Because people change…and then the partner isn’t willing to accept the change….”til death do us part” goes flying out the window….lol
I have too many weight issues to go here…
Yeah.. but a little weight gain shouldn’t be a problem.
Love is blind….
Setting aside health reasons and baby making, I have a difficult time accepting weight gain after marriage as an “ok” thing (not that it’s a reason to divorce, mind you!). Yes, metabolisms slow as we age, but let’s be honest, the weight gain after marriage usually begins within the first few years, due to people getting comfortable in their relationship and letting go a little. The standards that a person has before marriage should be pretty close to the ones that they practice after.
Well, can’t you say that the weight gain can be included in the “sickness and in health” part? You typically don’t become healthier when you gain weight. The vows still apply when your spouse puts on the pounds, then.
weight gain is expected with age, some weight doesn’t bother me. but according to some of the commenters on here, i guess i’m one of those shallow assholes who doesn’t like fatties. i’ve left plenty of comments expressing this view though. i don’t try to hide it, and i really think that like half the people who say it’s shallow would secretly be disgusted if their so became obese.
@Kim@revelife - I definitely agree with that. You’re absolutely correct about love and physical attraction not being the same.
Good point!
@NVRSAD_DAY - I’m terribly sorry to hear about your heart attack. I’m no body to judge someone for their weight issues, I’ve been battling weight my entire life. I’m very happy to hear that you have such a wonderful wife who loves you for you and I’m happy to hear you are now healthy and living a love-filled life
No, but it is helpful probably, and you will be healthier if you do not get overweight.
No. I’d hope that as you grew older you’d mature and lose your selfish, vain ways.
@StrongLetterI - heartily agreed. i could go into the logical reasons why unreasonable weight gain after marriage would be bad due to health and what impression you gave your mate before hand and so on and so forth but really – I just find it disgusting. Wouldn’t marry a fatty, wouldn’t want to be married to a fatty. Won’t become one either, unforeseen health problems aside. Is it too much to ask for that to be reciprocated?
@Monica_Writes - I really like your answer.
I wouldn’t think so. It’s almost like saying “Since we are getting married at age 22, you aren’t allowed to ever lose your hair or have it turn gray.”
It’s all about our own self image. I work at eating less and exercising more to be happy with my appearance. I don’t like flab it’s DISGUSTING.
I think people should make that point clear before they get married, then they won’t have any problems. Some people are afraid to say it.
PErsonally I wanted someone who took things seriously, and realised that walking around with an extra few pounds can become a health risk later on in life.
I say work out so that the marital sex is hot and awesome. In this statement, I am not saying that there should be a weight requirement that should be met because there are extreme circumstances within a marriage that should be considered such as pregnancy, cancer and the all too familiar metabolism slowdown.
@weirdbean - Damn straight.
Well, I think it doesn’t matter as long as the person is healthy.
I don’t think I’d be happy with someone who was so overweight/underweight that I’d have to worry about his health all the time.
I would love to say it wouldn’t matter. But I would be lying. Some weight gain is ok. But Obesity would be hard for me to handle in a relationship because I enjoy doing physical stuff with my mate.
Most people are going to gain weight during their marriage because as you get older your metabolism slows down. I don’t think you should “let yourself go” because you should still want to be attractive for your mate and have some heat in the relationship.
I’ve met a boyfriend when I’m in a fitness crazy period and then we’ve been dating a year maybe I became a little lazier and put on a little weight. It wasn’t because I didn’t care it just kind of happens sometimes.
Seems like when you’re in a serious relationship you go on a lot of great dinner dates.
no but people should work together on maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
I’m not really sure. I don’t want to gain weight for myself… but when it comes to spouse?
When men age significantly, they tend to either get fat or lose all body mass… strictly speaking, I would rather a husband of mine become solid over the years than bony and fragile. Those poor guys look afraid of falling down or even bumping into someone.
But when it comes down to it, in marriage, you take what you get.
N F C = No Fat Chicks
Quite honestly, I would want someone who is at least in healthy condition. Now, in terms of diseases, you can’t really help that. But in terms of weight and health, then at least be suitable. I would hate to have a family and my wife dies because of an overweight problem. Or my weight for that matter. I would hate for the family to want to do something, and because of the unfitness, we can’t do what we want.
You get me?
@thereismymind -
true true true
My father and I actually had a really deep conversation on this (awkward, no?).
Basically it came down to, there needs to be some intial attraction, yes. Something to light the initial ‘spark’. But there comes a point where one needs to realize as well, that we aren’t going to be beautiful forever. And though it’s important to take care of ourselves, isn’t it more important to take care of each other? There should come a time that ones physical make up doesn’t really matter to each other anymore, because you know that person, and you realize who they really are, for better or for worse.
I’m sleepy, so I’m not making sense…never mind. I tried.
For your self and your own health always try to stay fit.
Of course as we age, it becomes harder, and what is “fit” will also shift.
But to say I’m married, I can let my self go!?
Don’t let your self go.
hhahahahahahahahahaha
awesome post
=P
Of course not, when you get married, you should love them always no matter what size they are.
I thinks its important to maintain your weight anyway, its superficial but its part of the package that is you and your partner married the package right? On the other hand, your talking about it over years and I think that married couples get beyond that. I think its an awful thing to split with someone for that reason though.
Fatness is sickness. You are dying slowly from something very lethal. Thinness can also be a sickness.
I’ve noticed this happens to my brother. His ex-wife was chubby when they met (he likes them chubby) but by the time they divorced she was a plain ol’ fatty. His current girlfriend has also been packing on the pounds lately.
I think that you should try to keep fit for yourself, not your partner. But I think if you’re married to someone putting on some weight shouldn’t affect their love for you.
Yes..if you gain more than 20-30 pounds, we’re going to have a problem.
Any man of mine better stay in shape, and I plan to do the same.
Well, everyone should try to keep to a reasonable and healthy weight for their height and body type, but sometimes due to genetics and/or a non-effort to exercise there is a gain in weight. It’s true that most people do tend to gain weight as they age, but it’s an understandable and all-too-human failing that we do have eyes, and are visual creatures who tend to rate appeal based on appearance. Perhaps you might not wish to have sex with your spouse as much as you used to if they gained weight, but as long as you still love them it’s understandable.
When I get married, I am getting married for life and if my husband gains weight, goes bald, grows hair in his ears, that’s fine. While I do have preferences, I have a pretty wide range of acceptable body types. I do want someone who wants to be healthy, but I’m going to love and accept him and enjoy him for who he is regardless of how fast his metabolism is. I hope very much to find someone who feels the same way. I would like to have us encourage one another to be in good shape, to say, hey, let’s go for a walk or let’s not get KFC, to go dancing, enjoy healthy food and good spices (not the original 11 herbs…) but I wouldn’t want to be rejected or criticized if I gain some buoyancy and I am not going to do that to him either. Just marry someone you trust to live responsibly, even if they aren’t perfect.