November 21, 2008
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Abortion and Adoption
Recently my wife came home and told me a lady from work was pregnant. The lady is pretty young and her boyfriend was encouraging her to get an abortion.
My wife told me she was tempted to just tell the young girl that she would take care of the baby if she had it. I told her she can go ahead and tell her that and we would raise the child.
Would you adopt a child just to stop it from being aborted?
Comments (241)
Maybe.
I think I might
Hell no
Why not?
Hands down, YES!
Wow, Dan, that’s quite a commitment..thats nice of you guys. At this point in my life I wouldn’t, and honestly I probably wouldn’t anyway. I want to adopt a child, but I’ll take one of the children who have already been born and are losing their identity in our already over-crowded orphanages.
Yep.
With that mentality, your house would be filled with other people’s kids. So no.
Actually, this is something I’ve considered since I was pretty young. I would not have done it before I got married or before I got a job, however, now, I probably would do that. I would be glad to have the opportunity to give a child life when otherwise it might have never had the chance to live.
Of course though, I have to be able to take care of myself first.
Yes.
No. I have neither the resources nor the desire to have a child right now.
If we are talking about an abortion of convenience, absolutely.
Yes. With out a doubt.
Nope.
If I were married and already through school I would. My parents probably would; they offered to adopt my cousin’s two kids since she’s so messed up or whatever [the cousin, not the kids]
At this point in my life, no. Maybe later on though, I would love to adopt.
so kind of you!!
If I had the resources, yes.
Actually I would really like to adopt someday. Even if I have to do it as a single person. So why not save a life?
BTW Dan that is awesome of you.
ABSOLUTELY!!!
If I could, I would, but I’m not financially secure. (Also having a spouse would help.)
I mean… it’s what my parents did, sort of.
@Krissy_Cole - I agree with you. Goes back to my post about people being responsible with an active sex life. You reap what you sow.
(and by “absolutely” I mean, I know it for a fact because I made such an offer once… I would have followed through on it too.)
All you people who said yes…
You are lying. Because as you know, there are many kids out there who have no families. How come you haven’t adopted yet?
You might WANT to do it…but it’s very different from actually DOING it.
You’re a wonderful person for doing that. I don’t have the money or the desire to take care of a child, though.
No.
I would be tempted. I might. I don’t think I could say no, but I do think it would be very very very hard. I am single and don’t make a ton of money. I don’t know what I would do to support the child. I watched my mom struggle as a single mom and I know it is no picnic. But I couldn’t say no. If I got pregnant myself I don’t know if I would keep the baby or give it up for adoption and I’m 28. I’d probably keep it. It would be too hard to give a baby up regardless of how much work it would be. I want to be a writer someday and if I could support myself doing something I could do from home, then I probably would without question. Sigh, I’m glad I don’t have to face this question very often. It is so hard. Go Abstinence!
My husband and I were talking about this the other day. I would def. adopt if it was to save a baby’s life. I commend you and your wife for wanting to do it
No.
I’m adopted. And I know one thing for sure I would have preferred to have been aborted instead.
My parents adopted me to keep me from being aborted. This child will kiss your feet if you adopt it. So will I.
@XXVl - I can’t speak for EVERYONE but in MY case, I did make such an offer but am not adopting a child because I am not married. If it were an urgent life and death scenario though, I would not hesitate to intervene in spite of the financial and social hardships I would face because of it.
YES YES YES!!!!
Now? No. I’m obviously too young, and I need to get my life in order before I take care of someone else’s life. When I’m older and have a job, sure I would. In a heartbeat. Wouldn’t even think twice about it.
Absolutely!
When I have the means to do so (as well as covering HER medical expenses) I would, but…we dunno.
No. What about all the other babies that are already born?
that’s a REALLY big commitment…and it is the mother’s choice to whether or not to have her child. i think it is irresponsible for you and/or your wife to tell the pregnant woman something like this… she will go thru 9 months of pregnancy just for your simple promise? she will develop maternal feelings for her fetus and she may not want to give her child up anymore when it is born. then, she nor her bf may have the financial means to raise their child. pregnancy and raising a child is a complicated issue that should better be left alone to the couple themselves, outsiders have no right to interfere or give opinions, let alone persuading the mother to have the child by promising an adoption.
So to your question: no.
Fuck no.
I think I won’t. I would adopt one who is an orphan whose parents passed away. I think that girl should think of the consequency befpre they have sex.
WOW, Dan, that is so sweet of you and your wife,
! I would as well if I knew someone was going to abort it, 
God says children are a blessing!!! It doesn’t matter how they come into being, by what situation, they are a blessing, 
!@XXVl -
probably not, though i would be happy to adopt a child to some people abortion is more appealing than adoption because they don’t have to face 40 weeks of becoming attatched to the creature inside of them that they don’t want.
Yes. We also offered to raise a great-niece & great-nephew a couple of years ago, but that fell through, much to our sorrow. Those kids have been adopted and we’ll probably never see them again.
Definitely! And I’m so thankful to hear that you & your wife would do the same!
absolutely! if i had the money and means to care for the baby.
yes i would. i had a miscarriage at 4 1/2 months and id do anything to change that just to have a child to love and take care of. and while i was going through that my best friend had 4 abortions within a 6 month period and that just kills me. its horrible. (my personal opinion.__)
ps-i also think it’s awesome that you gave your wife the “go-ahead.” you’re so great!
No, I’m not the Angelia Jolie of gay people running around adopting every kid possible.
Um, I would if I knew I could give the child a proper home. And it would likely be in a situation like yours, where you knew someone directly. I think it’s amazing and wonderful that you and your wife and considering this. Not only will the child benefit, but you and your wife will, too.
@kissmebrutally - Offering to raise the child is not persuasion, it’s just giving the mother another option to consider. Where’s your criticism of the boyfriend who’s pressuring her to get an abortion?
@XXVl - Am not lying. If it meant saving the child’s life by avoiding abortion, I wouldn’t think twice. I have offered previously, in fact, when I was younger for some friends of mine who could not bear children, to carry their child, and God knows I meant what I said.
i doubt it. i can’t afford it right now with this economy. plus i have no kids of my own, no guarantee i want to adopt right now. butter… i agree with XXVI, lots of ppl may not be as truthful right now about the subject… actions do show a lot.
Yes
If I were financially stable, then maybe.
Yes. Even though I’m a strong advocate for a woman’s right to choose, I have struggled with fertility (been trying for 10 years and have had only one pregnancy that ended in miscarriage). I’d definitely adopt the baby. I wouldn’t think twice about it. It would give me an opportunity to experience a pregnancy if she’d let me, of course.
don’t know until I am face with that situation.
Absolutely! And I’d raise her child in a heartbeat!
@charlottegeely - Something that might help with your answer… There are a LOT of private organizations who take donations and exist for the purpose of giving supplies and such to pregnant women and single parents. Some even offer babysitting services and such. These groups aren’t always very well known but they are all over the place. Churches may also be willing to assist on a case-by-case basis. Just some thoughts to,perhaps, help you be more grounded in your answer to the question.
Nope
If I was old enough, maybe.
At this point in my life, no. I can barely fend for myself, let alone a child.
@kissmebrutally - I doubt Dan and his wife would adopt the child if the mother changed her mind and wanted to keep the child. The point is that the life is precious enough to protect. What is 9 months of hardship when compared to a life?
It all depends on the situation. One if I know the person and have enough sympathy, and two if I was financially stable to.
Would I do it simply to keep her from aborting the child? No. That’s her choice and I wouldn’t try and coherse her into carrying a child when she might not be emotionally ready to carry for 9 months. Like someone else mentioned, it’s not easy to carry a child inside of you and -not- get attached. What if she really does want it but realizes that she’s not capable of taking care of it, but it tears her apart to have to let the child go? What if she decides (after you and your entire family put your money and time and effort and heart into helping her have this child) that she wants to keep it- and you -know- her situation wouldn’t be as great for the child as your home would be- would you try to get the child away from her.. what about the effect that would have on your entire family after having prepared for months for a child you end up not getting? There’s so much to consider beyond the fact that she’s considering abortion.. and doing it for that sole reason is just rediculous, in my opinion. It’s a child- not a puppy.
You have a big heart.
Probably yes. I’m not against abortion, but if I can save a child, I will.
I hope I one day find a husband with such a mind as yours.
And yes, I absolutely would adopt someone’s child and raise it if it would save the child from being aborted.
Absolutely.
yes, definately!
@Legendairy - 9 months of harship? Are you kidding me? Have you ever carried a child inside of yourself? Have you ever known what it’s like to have part of your move inside of you- to feel it from the inside out? This belief that adoption is the ‘easy’ choice is so silly. That woman will have to live the rest of her life remembering a child that she couldn’t keep because her situation wouldn’t allow for it. It will haunt her and change her for the rest of her life. You might argue that an abortion would do the same to her ’and take a life’, I argue that until you know what it’s like to carry a child, you have no source of reference to speak from. What might be easy for one might be hell for another. It’s ultimately HER choice.
wow that’s really nice of both of you.
i’m not able to do that.
@Legendairy - yeah, but the thought of taking charity isn’t that appealing. There is a stigma with it that isn’t always fun. It makes you feel dependent and people tend to want to be strong and giving and mature and responsible, not dependent. I tell you what, I may have strong beliefs, but I am always going to be honest about what I really think and feel. I may not have been more “grounded” but I was mentally really putting myself in the real situation. If I were married, then my answer would probably be a unhesitant yes. It is really tough being a sigle mom. Worth saving a life, yes, but it’s a very difficult choice. Probably a lot harder than giving up a kidney. Would you do that for a stranger?
No – if you aren’t ready to be a parent and accept that awesome responsibility, why would you even think about adopting?
I’d consider it if I thought I was able to support another. I can barely afford to supply for myself and my dog as it is.
Yes, I would.
@kissmebrutally - you raise an excellent point.
Hell no.
10 years ago i would. at this point in my life, i would not.
absolutely with out doubt. i would take a dozen just to keep them from being aborted. i have fostered 40 and would be today if I could still get certified and would have adopted them all to keep them from being abused. and what is abortion but the ultimate form of child abuse
@bethechangeyouwish2see - I never said adoption was EASY. I even referred to “9 months of hardship“. It comes down to asking oneself if one’s convienience is more valuable than another’s life… strange thing though… slavery was justified in much the same way as abortion is now. I’d contend that one should not have the right to trample upon another’s “unalienable right” to life.
that IS a commitment… but the abortion sadly, also avoids the small fortune in hospital bills. so it’s not quite so simple.
no, i wouldn’t even be able to take care of my own child.
if i had the money and the stability in my life to do so, then yes. but i would only be able to adopt one or two kids. i would suggest to other mothers that although i was unable to adopt another child, she could look for someone else who was willing and able to provide a loving and supportive home.
@Legendairy - You’re just arguing semantics. Just because you believe life starts at conception doesn’t make it so, nor does it mean everyone else agrees. The possibility of life doesn’t dictate an actual life (how many times do you masturbate? What about all those ‘potential lives’ you killed off?) Potential doesn’t mean definitive. All fertilized eggs don’t implant, so how can you argue that life starts as soon as the egg and sperm meet- what about all of those that don’t implant.. there’s still ’potential’ there, but no ’life’..?
My point was you claimed it was simply 9 months of hardship. No, it’s a lifetime for that woman- not just a few months.
I am so proud of you and your wife, Dan.
And, yes. I would. I plan to adopt anyway.
Yes i would.
@charlottegeely - I understand the morale blow that comes from taking charity and, honestly would be hesitant to accept it myself… but I guess, having been placed in the position of making such an offer to a friend once, my perspective was permanently altered by the experience even though they eventually panicked and went through with the abortion. But I understand and appretiate your honesty on the matter. I had merely sought to mention it in case you were not aware. I meant no disrespect. This just happens to be an issue I am quite passionate about and tend to speak my mind about it as well. …no offense intended.
Nope. Don’t want kids. Ever.
No. I’d much rather see an abortion than see the child end up living in a therapeutic group home because of years and years of psychological and physical abuse, and neglect. I’d also much rather adopt a child who has never seen love and give that child a chance at happiness.
No.
In concept it sounds great, I myself I am not prepared to raise a child at this time.
But many others are.
Hell no. I hate little kids and I don’t want anything to do with them.
That’s really sweet of you and your family.
I might. It really depends on whether or not I could afford it and have the time to take care of it. Especially since I have a two and a half year old step daughter and a son due April 4th. It might be difficult. but I’m sure there are other families that would love to have a baby.
@Legendairy -
dan, you and your wife need to be prepared to face the legal complications that go along with open adoption. and also the cost. Even a smooth adoption is costly just because of the paperwork and fee’s. Also, the mother may request that you pay all her medical bills during the pregnancy and also a compensation type thing afterwards- being that the only reason she’s having the baby is that you asked her to.
*shrugs*
it may be easier to just adopt a child that’s already in need of a home. Check your state’s listing then check Adoptuskids.org . i’m sure there are plenty of kids there who’s parents chose not to abort and now that child needs a home.
Good Luck.
Goodness, yes. No question about it.
I would. If another family can love and take care of the baby better than its biological parents, why not?
I wouldn’t be able to properly care for a child right now.
No. It’s the woman’s choice to spread her legs or not – so I don’t think that her boyfriend or whatever should have a say in what she does with the result. I’d say that I’m pro choice on it though. Technically it hasn’t been born yet, but it’s still a baby?
If I were her I’d get rid of it.
If I were you I wouldn’t take care of their problem.
Yes, if I was out of school.
absolutely
Quite honestly, no.
Yes I would!!
@bethechangeyouwish2see - If (and I did say if) I could demonstrate that there is no difference that can be used to define how a fetus and a born infant are any more or less human from one another, would you agree that they should be granted equality in thier right to life?
Insomuch as potential is concerned, fertilized eggs that don’t implant I see as no different than a miscarriage but this is a side-issue and I assert the above question in order to avoid semantic games.
I would refer the young lady to a certain Angelina Jolie. Her motto for motherhood is “Gotta Catch ‘em All!”
As a young woman who cannot have my own children, the thought of even remotely wondering if I know of anyone who’s had an abortion makes me litterally ill. I would have done the same thing. I commend you and your wife on doing this. It is amazing. My hat’s off to you.
Wow, that’s very nice.
I don’t think I would, though. The decision she makes is her own, it’s not up to me to interfere. However if I wanted a kid and a friend of mine needed to put her child up for adoption I would, considering the circumstances, take the child and have the mother be a part of its life.
At most.
Still unlikely.
If I had the time and the money … why not?
yes, no doubt.
ABSOLUTELY!!!!! We got a phone call about our 3rd child needing a home the day he was born and brought him home 2 days later. He has completely blessed our lives! We love him to the moon and back!
I don’t have the resources right now to support a child as I would want to, and I’m not sure I would be approved to adopt right now. I would offer this woman as much emotional support as possible and direct her to all the adoption resources available.
Yeah., If I was financially secure.
@relaxolgy - I’m adopted, too. I’m glad I got the chance to live, and I’m very lucky to have the parents that I have. Remember to make your life what you want it to be. None of us choose to be born, but we make the most of it. :)
Not at this time (they don’t allow babies to live in dorm rooms) but if I had a place of my own and was at least a little more stable, then yes! That is really nice of you.
Being that I’m a college student and the last thing I need right now is a kid, no… I might look for a good family, possibly suggest it to my parents.
If I were older and had a wife to help me care for it, and didn’t already have too many kids, then yes, I’d probably consider it.
I probably would. It’s difficult to actually make a decision like that. It’s easy to say yes. Having to take care of a baby while living alone and still earning a living so I can pay the even higher bills because of the baby makes it a little bit more difficult to do.
Yeah I probably would. Not right now, of course, since I’m 16 and definitely couldn’t, but I would probably do that in the future.
My gut instinct? Yes. My logical side starts thinking …money, health, time, interest, and then thinks….yep. I’d make my girls help a ton
Even though I’m totally against abortion I’d have to say no. That’s because I made the choice 13 years ago to have a tubaligation right after I had my last child. That was the best thing for me. I can barely handle my 3 teenagers as it is. I can’t possibly take on anymore children.
No…I’d abort so as not to bring another child into our overpopulated world…
i would facilitate, but im not equiped to adopt myself. my pastor and his wife have adopted 3 children and plan on adopting more, his brother is adopting and several other families are planning on adopting as well. i would like to get a job at an adoption agency working with international adoptions.
Yes.
True story:
My Mom’s younger sister became pregnant, had runaway from home before this, and would sleep in the back of my Mom’s care while she was at work. Well, My Mom finally caught her and told her she could come stay with her. She did, that night she asked my Mom “If I had a baby, would you take care of it?” My Mom said “I’ll think about it, and let you know tomorrow.”
Well, by the end of tomorrow my other aunt had talked her (the one that was pregnant) Into an abortion. My Mom hadn’t known this till later, but she had said that if she would have said it sooner, (It being: Yes, of course.) That it might not have happened.
Another cousin, another niece, another daughter, another person to love.
If i had the means, yes.
depends on how she feels
@YossariansWingman - I heard somewhere we don’t even have orphanages anymore. But I can’t prove it. =o/
At any rate: my husband says “Yes. I would.” He doesn’t make decisions lightly (he chose never to date anybody but me, for example), and I respect his wisdom. So that is our answer. Yes. We would.
GOD BLESS YOU DAN (AND WIFE!!)
That’s probably one of the more amazing and beautiful things I’ve read on Xanga ever, and I’m an old timer here.
You are awesome. I hope that she accepts your amazing offer. What a blessing.
And were I not a vowed religious, I would totally adopt a child if it meant that the child would live. But because I am a vowed religious, I couldn’t adopt. However, I would promise to help the young woman to connect with an adoption agency, and I would try and be available to her as much as I could.
If I had the means of doing so and financially stable, yes, without a doubt.
Not unless I thought it’d be pretty.
Yes.
No, mainly cause I don’t want kids right now and even if I did….I wouldn’t want it to be from someone I knew and would see everyday either.
If I had the money. I plan to adopt anyhow. But not until I can afford college and private school for the child.
While I am against abortion, I couldn’t do that. I’d try to persuade them to give it up for adoption to someone else.
yes I would. I would also do it because I love kids and I can’t think of anything I would rather do than be a mom
Yes.
@XXVl - These people aren’t lying exactly…. It is much different to adopt a child from somebody you know than to just go out and adopt a child.
For one, if you adopt a child through a an agency the financial investment is huge and the process can take years if not decades. However, if you know somebody who wants to adopt a child – and they agree to give you the child – then the process costs very little money and takes very little time.
I would not save the baby. I’m sure there are people out there to take care of it, but there are also many other children that need to be adopted out there. Plus you could use the dead fetus body for stem cell research or food.
YES
Absolutely.
@LeaderOfTheKnightsWhoSayNI - So there is a time limit and $$ restrictions on saving a child’s life? Let me see if i got this straight…. If it takes too long and costs too much, you can forget about adopting, and go back to condemning others from your high horse? Cool.
Wow, you two are awesome!
I just doubt that it’s the same for the girl. When you go so far to give birth to a child, you probably don’t give it away anymore.
@XXVl - What I’m saying is that adopting, for many Americans isn’t possible. Even with good jobs, adopting through an agency is out of reach for many – it costs more than they have. Even with aggressive savings programs, it can take years, if not decades to save enough cash to adopt a child.
However, much of that changes if you have a mother who is willing to give her baby to a couple. The costs for this are much less making this senerio a lot more feasable for the good people who wolud like to save a child’s life in this way.
The trouble becomes that while there are many people who are willing to do this – there very few moms who are willing to give their child to somebody they know. And by very few, the number could be a small percentage of a percent.
Geez louise, that’s amazing. I hope you keep us up to date on this if it develops.
To answer the question… I don’t really want kids, but for an emergency, I guess I could do anything. Though I have my doubts that I have what it takes to raise a child, one way or the other.
Yes, if necessary, but given the number of people who want to adopt a newborn, it’s probably not necessary. My mom was willing to adopt babies from China to save them from the one-child policy. I think she ended up paying for the fines instead, which were relatively cheap, given the USD to RMB conversion rate.
“And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.” -Matthew 18:5
@LeaderOfTheKnightsWhoSayNI - When mothers are forced to give birth to babies they can’t or don’t want to take care of, these babies go up for adoption. And most of them don’t get adopted.
Trust me, we don’t need any more orphans. We have got way too many as it is. Why not nip this sad problem at the bud before all the pain and torture begins?
If I was an embryo and got aborted, I’d never know about it. So really, you wouldn’t be robbing anyone out of life, you’d just be saving future grief and poverty.
That is awesome Dan. You are the only pro life person I have ever heard of who would do the right thing in that way.
I respect that more than you can imagine.
to answer your question narrowly, no.
however, I would do what I can, to my best ability and resources, to make sure the child has an opportunity to go to a loving home.
no i wouldn’t.
but that’s very sweet of you!
initially it sounds like a good idea to me — help someone out and save a person’s life.. but i’d really have to think it through.. That includes context & practical concerns..
Yes.
no.
@XXVl - this is not true!!!!!!! How many times have you attempted to adopt? How many times were you successful? My husband and I have tried several times. Reasons for being turned down by the system: my husbands age, he is ten years older than I am “what if he dies of cancer before the child is 18″, our financial situation: we don’t make six figures so therefore cannot give the child “everything they want” (only everything they need plus love the most important thing of all) and last but certainly not least and the one that cracked me up the most, our house was too small so we therefore could not give the child his own room. you know a kid needs his own room in order to be happy.
Don’t make sweeping statements before you know the facts. adoption is not as easy as you think. and just because a couple may want it doesn’t mean they will always get it.
That’s really kind of you =). As for me… Idk, it depends. But I most probably won’t. I am willing to adopt children who have lost both their parents though.
No.
Sure, I’d rescue an infant that some stupid teenager was going to toss into a dumpster but I’m hardly going to call dibs on a fetus.
SO sad… I dunno if I would… maybe if I was older I would, but not right now because I’m still young.
Yes
@perelandra30 - I HEAR YOU!
so many people are just unaware of the Homestudy process. The homestudy and background check negate about half the people interested in adoption. The investment of time and money weed out about half of the remaining people. The hassel and lack of hope get another half of those left.
Ultimately, out of every 100 people, there are about 12 who have the time, money, perserverence and “qualify” to adopt. Out of those 12 possibly 2 will go through with it.
It’s a sad world. I really hope Dan and his wife are researching the legal end of this. It would be aweful to offer to adopt the child, the mother bring it to term, and then not be able to pass the Homestudy. Aweful for everyone involved. Except the child. If the baby is born healthy and immediently listed then the baby may be adopted quickly.
Yes.
Heck yes.
I’d adopt up to 12 babies if it saved them from abortion. [12 is my baby limit.. but then I'd do whatever it took to find a home for the unborn babies.]
If I was in a financially stable situation, I would.
yes
I have offered to do so more than once, and would again.
If I am capable, I don’t see why not.
Yes. 100% Yes.
To half the kids in the neighborhood, my house has always been their second home. It is the go-to place if they are having problems and their parents are unavailable. When I was just out of college, my friend found herself alone and with 2 small children, she moved in with me and I co-parented with her for years until the kids were in high school and I married and moved in with my husband. I’m still in constant contact with them, even though they are grown and have children of their own.
It is a dramatic image to say I will adopt an infant, pre-abortion. But, if the woman is really wanting to keep the child (otherwise she wouldn’t be resisting her boyfriends arguments), why offer to take a child from its mother, instead of offering to help her manage to keep her own child. What appalls me is how few people are willing to get involved and help those who made it past the birth canal. It is almost like an ownership issue. (I know that sounds repulsive) But in society you hear the attitude, if I can make it “my” baby, I’ll help. When it is someone else’s child, you see and sometimes hear the attitude, “They chose to have the child, they brought their problems on themselves.” It is hypocracy.Those children need us too. The instability in american families can be somewhat shored up if we would only reach out and help each other to allow children to feel and in truth be secure. Not only would it help each child, it would eliminate a lot of the social ills that are rampant in our nation.
Of course not.
definitely
anyone staunchly opposed to abortion had better be saying yes.
but personally there is a good reason i have no kids-i don’t want any! no money, no time and no desire to have some stupid parasitic brat sucking away my resources.
plain and simple. yes.
absolutely. i might have answered differently before having children of my own.
you betcha!
In a heartbeat!
no, i’d rather adopt older children who have less of a chance at finding a home.
no
yes. but the question is, would you adopt a child with special needs if you found out that during pregnancy this child was born with a “defect”(for lack of a better word), whether physical or mental?? I would. I have. But he was older. Mental issues is his situation.
Probably not.
Just to stop an abortion? I think that has more to do with the mothers state of mind and finances than Whether she wants to raise a child. Everyone KNOWS adoption is an option, but adoption isn’t the solution to unwanted pregnancy, it’s the solution to an unwanted child. I /would/ adopt an unwanted child, but I don’t think it would be my place to offer it as a substitute for abortion.
As a side note, that’s an amazingly kind thing for you and your wife to offer.
Absolutely!
i take pride in killing babies.
If I was financially stable enough and already had a family that the child could be added to.
you’re awesome
and i probably would.
yes
That’s very cool of you Dan. I’m for abortion under certain circumstances such as rape. If you don’t want to have your kid, adoption should be the first option you consider.
Absolutely. 100%. No looking back…. YES, YES, YES!!!
yes. I would. I’d do whatever it takes.
In fact when my cousin got pregnant and there was talk about abortion I about hit the ceiling and said I’d adopt it, I don’t care, anything, just don’t abort that poor baby.
honestly i am in NO position right now to do so but if it was another time, I would
No.
not today.
@sheshe143 - Ha, are you serious?
Absolutely!
I probably wouldn’t adopt it, but would strongly encourage the young lady to think about putting the baby up for adoption. I guess for me – abortion is not an option.
@XXVl - To SAVE THE LIFE of the child from an impending abortion, we definitely would adopt it. Yes there are children out there who have not been adopted, but you must take into consideratin that they are already born, and not facing summary execution because they are an inconveniance.
Yes I would, any time. As to the cost of raising it, which some people are hanging the life of the child on, I think the life of the baby is worth more than “If I could afford it”.
Possibly, if I was up for the responsibility, etc.
I would tell the parents that I would adopt the baby, lie about it and give it to another couple that I deem worthy.
I’m a poor college student right now, as much as I like babies I don’t have the time nor the resources to raise one.
oh or I could give the baby to my parents, if they what him/her
YES
No.
That’s really awesome, if you’re serious… And I hope you are.
I would, if the case just came to me like that. It’s worth it. Of course, this is if I were old enough and wealthy enough, lol. Being a freshman in college means I’m way too far away for adopting.
Maybe if I wasn’t my age. Other than that, yes !
My daughter was adopted from an unwed mother. Just a word of warning: You cannot just simply be given the child to “raise,” you have to follow the laws for adoption set up by your State. If you do not, you can end up in very serious trouble, both you and the birth mother. You are not a member of the child’s biological family. Some States regulate it as “baby trafficking” if you do not follow proper legal procedures and it can not only be a felony, depending on where you live, it can be a Federal crime as well. Plus, if you adopt, you can never disown or disinherit an adopted child because you legally decided to become its parents.
Our daughter is a beautiful and wonderful young lady that is a joy. We would adopt again in a moment. However, open adoptions can create problems unless you know the parameters ahead of time and have a legally binding agreement between you and the birth mother. Also, if the birth father does not sign off on agreeing to allow the adoption, you cannot do so. He can also have the legal right to have visitation rights on a regular basis or he can opt to raise the child himself. If any money is exchanged for the baby it must be done completely legally and he can ask for an amount for himself as well. In most States the birth father has quite a few rights as well. Also, the birth grandparents in many States now have rights as well for visitation and such, even if the birth parents do not want to have anything to do with the child. Just some food for thought… however I would wholehearted adopt a child again and follow all the legalities involved!
considering the fact that I was adopted…I’m kinda glad to see people here at least contemplating the option of adoption over abortion. mainly because I’ve benefited from one side of the said ‘contemplation’ ~ jack
yes i would adopt to save a life…
Absolutely.
If I had more resources to care for the child, I would absolutely do it. I think I will make a great mother.
If the woman didn’t want to have an abortion, yes.
@la_faerie_joyeuse - Likewise. I might opt to abort should that kind of thing (somehow) arise.
Yes.
Fuck parents rights,
Children are the shit.
@XXVl - Exactly. Gee, based on the comments here, I’d say that xangans alone can solve the adoption crisis in this country!
To answer the original question, No, absolutely not. This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard – by this logic, I can assume that all of the “yes” people here are spending their weekends down at the abortion clinic trying to convince young women that they are willing to take home and raise their unborn children…
@YossariansWingman - Thank you for being honest and for saying this – there are THOUSANDS of children of all ages who need homes RIGHT NOW.
Absolutly…I would adopt every single one of them if I had the means to take care of them all.
Maybe.
I think we would try, but we have a houseful already and resources are scarce. Still, it would be worth it.
only is i was unable to have children and was looking to adopt. a baby is a pretty big responsibility to take care of.
Yes. However, more people are concerned about adopting puppies so they don’t get euthanized rather than being concerned about preventing a woman from having an abortion and taking care of that child.
Absolutely.
And I have to say Dan, you earned a TON of respect from me with your response to your wife. That’s awesome.
I’m just 16 and would say YES with no regret/doubt!!! My mom had a friend who wanted to abort her baby and we’re REALLY Catholic, I don’t believe abortion is right! So my mother told her she would raise him as her own.[luckly that got her in a good enough mood to not go through with the abortion and the baby is BEUTIFUL! his eyes! his SMILE! his LAUGH! One look at that baby and you think “How could you EVER THINK of rejecting such a beutiful baby!!!?!?” But truth is: It happens everyday. So I say “THANK YOU!” to you for having the heart in accepting to raise that baby!! Even if you don’t have to anymore.
God Bless.
in a heartbeat
I would love to! We’ve always wanted to do that!
It would have to depend. If I was in no situation to take care of a child myself, would I be doing the baby a favor?
oh man go over and read my blog for the lat 2 days.my friend is going through a simialr situation right now …..they have paid for the birthmom place to live food everything…the girl has changed her mind numerous times now the baby was born 2 days ago after the birthmom said it was a go and as of right now the birthmom says she doesnt know what she’s going to do.Talk about messing with someone and the poor baby involved.it’s just a heartbreaking situation.Like i said i go into more details in my blog.
We offered to do this with my niece who was hooked on meth and came to live with us to detox and ended up being 5 months pregnant….she was boun and determined to have an abortion we offered to adopt the baby.she took off rom our house after us telling her if she chose abortion we still loved her but could not help her.luckily that baby was given up for adoption….and so were her following 2other babies she had…..sad
no,
it’s a life changing decision, that doesn’t often work out with a simple ‘go ahead…’
depends on my situation on life and how close i am to the person, i dont like how that relationship is turning out…
I’d encourage the woman to give the baby up for adoption instead of aborting it. But it’s ultimately her choice. I don’t know if I’d take the child or not. If it was right now, I’d say no. If it was later down the road, probably yes.
I’d try to but only if I knew I could truly take responsibility of caring for a child
I would have to be faced with this situation before I could answer. It would be too easy to say “Yes” or “No”.
If the time was right and I was able… why not?
Yes
Yes, without any doubt.
Yes!!! you’re super cooL dan!!!
Probably not, but maybe. I mean, I never want to have kids but if I were financially stable, then maybe. If it was my friend or relative’s kid, then I’d be more inclined to.
No. I would not.
THe choice being made is rarely between aborting the child or adopting it. It is between aborting the child and keeping it. It is between placing a child for adoption, and parenting it yourself.
That said, this girls boyfriend is a douche. No one should feel entitled to pressure a woman to end a pregnancy. That is some seriously douche-y behavior.
@vangelicmonk -
I don’t see all that many people concerned about the unaborted fetuses that made it to life and are now languishing without families.
That THOUGHT of a baby is WONDERFUL!!!
The life of those babies, once born… Eh. Someone else’s problem.
Or that’s what it sure seems like with a great deal of the prochoice/antiabortion supporters.
I can’t adopt, as I am a single male. That’s ironic, though, when you consider that couples with a criminal past, parents with proven abusive tendancies, promiscuous single mothers and “married” deviants can all be parents. But that’s the modern state of moral chaos for you.
If I could; certainly. A child’s life is precious beyond all things. If a prospective mother couldn’t reconcile herself to parenthood- for whatever reason- I’d urge her to contact any number of Christian organizations that are prepared to save unwanted children from death. When children cease to matter, civilization ends.
@SimplyPynki - True. Christians and Prolife (I think that is what meant to say rather than pro choice) supporters do need to do more to support those children in foster homes and in struggling families. Some are doing more. However, do you think it is better to die than go through a difficult life? Who are we to make that choice for a child? Should we put those in adopted homes to sleep just because they are not adopted? What a ghastly thought. I’m not saying that is what you are saying or thinking. I’m not trying to put words in your mouth. I would rather give a child a chance than give no chance to that child whatsoever. Many great composers, writers, scientists, leaders, and teachers have come from very difficult lives. Many monsters of humanity have had two parents and a good life. How are to decide that a chance at life should begin or end with parents or a good life?
Depends on your situation. If you can raise the baby in good health and nurture, then yes. Sometimes, it’s better for the baby never to be born. Then again, they do all sorts of awful things with aborted fetuses like using some of its parts for cosmetics, then burning the rest…
Yes.
Yes, also, to prevent one from living in a dangerous home.
Yes I will do it if I was wealthy… I have 3 childrens myself. And is not ea$y. : )
YES, in a heartbeat…
i’ve thought this through many times in my adult life.
That is very selfless of you and your wife!
I’m not sure how to answer your question, though, because I am only 20 and in school, so I wouldn’t be able to adopt and care for a baby.
Absolutely.
I’d love to!
Yes. Absolutely yes.
absolutely.
Absolutely. Bring it on.