February 5, 2009
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Embarrassing Friends
I have a xanga friend who sent me a message recently and told me she was embarrassed to have me as a friend because of some of the content on my site. Apparently she has a new boyfriend and he is a conservative Christian. She is a nice woman and I told her I understood if she had to unsub to me and drop me as a friend.
It caused me to think about what friends I had that I was embarrassed by. I couldn’t think of any so I must just have friends that are not the type to embarrass someone else.
I remember when I was younger that I picked up a hitchhiker while I was traveling home on leave from the military. I picked him up and he didn’t have any money or a place to stay. So I took him on my way. I was headed home and I took him to my parent’s house where we were spending the night. I told him he could stay with us. He said our family treated him like family. I knew they would because my family is just that way. The next day I helped him on his way. My mom asked me if he was really just a homeless guy and I told her, “Yes.” She did not give me a hard time and did not mention it again. I am not sure how she figured out he was homeless. It must have been the way he was dressed.
Another time we were close to Christmas and it was super cold at night. It was below zero outside. I saw some man walking down the street and he was super cold. He told me he was trying to make it to a shelter. I told him to get in and I took him home and let him spend the night with us. The next day we brought him to church. We helped him get cleaned up and he blended in nicely. A woman asked my wife if he was my dad. I would never embarrass someone so I didn’t tell anyone he was homeless.
I imagine if you are my friend that you could fall into drugs or prostitution and I would not be embarrassed by you.
I remember when Jesus talked to the woman at the well. I also remember when a woman of a bad reputation washed his feet. I realize I am not perfect like Jesus and I certainly cannot do that walking on water trick. But I wonder if he would be embarrassed to friend my xanga site.
Have you ever had a friend that embarrassed you?
Comments (278)
Who hasn’t?
Yes.
No, none of my friends have not embarrassed me.
No, not really. Family members, yes. You can’t pick family members. Friends, you can pick. None of my friends embarass me.
Well, the way hubby dresses embarrasses me, but that’ a different story.
Anyone who is embarrassed by you is not really a friend.
Wow,That was deep Dan. No,I have never had a friend that embarrassed me and that includes you.
No. People may feel embarrassed to have me as a friend though.
Maybe while growing up and fighting that battle with immaturity, but certainly not recently.
i’m un-embarassable.
I have friends that have embarrassed me, but I don’t stop talking to them or if a xanga friend- wouldn’t delete them because of something silly….It would have to be major for me to delete an “embarrassing friend”.
yep
Whyfor people always pickin’ on Dan?!?
Maybe a couple friends and how they act at certain places.
My mom belittles me but thats not embarassing me….if she did it in front of people I would be embarassed, I guess
@maniac_rose - word.
Hm. I’ve had moments when my friends embarrass me but my friends don’t embarrass me as a rule or as a trait. I always feel guilty if I feel embarrassed by my friends. If I feel that way I work on myself rather than distance myself from the person because it’s usually more my problem than theirs.
Nope.
I had a friend from 5th-9th grade who was bipolar and got into stupid arguments with everyone (including myself) over nothing and I constantly had to defend her when I myself was often pissed at her and thought she was selfish.
Yes, but not at all in the way you are referring.
Jesus is our friend no matter what we do.
of course, but not enough that I’d consider dropping them. if that were the case what type of friend would I really be?
Not in any big way, no.
Nope, but my dad has. He shouted at me in the middle of the store once (while holding up a lovely purple box): ” Hey Krissy! Are these the tampons you needed? Should I throw some liners in as well?”
I will never tell anyone that I can’t be embarrassed again.
@maniac_rose - very true
Somtimes— momentarily by what friends and family members say and do.
But I don’t think I would ever be emberrased by how people are.
I don’t really feel embarrassment, but I know back when I hung out with people. If I were being invited out somewhere with them around “new” people they’d warn people about how I am. So I guess I embarrass people.
No…I don’t tend to be embarrassed by much. That comes from worrying too much what people think. I try not to waste time worrying about that. I love my friends; they don’t embarrass me.
Yeah, but not the mean way.
I have friends who do embarrassing stuff but I’m not embarrassed that they are my friends. Oh and I can walk over water, when there are bridges.
The things you did show that you have a big heart!
P.S.: When people say they have no embarrassing friends, does it mean they are the embarrassing ones?
I have never had a friend embarass me by their actions, but by their bringing up my words or actions at an inappropriate time. I’m quite shy really, and don’t even talk to people I don’t know very well, so to have someone bring up an embarrasing subject can make me feel extremely uncomfortable.
I still dont understand why someone would be embarrassed of you…and if she is, is she a “friend”?
I’ve had a mother who embarrassed me…but not by being homeless (that would not embarrass me) or being a drug addict (that either) but just by being herself. Like…telling personal things of mine to people who just have no right to know…embarrassing things about me. Or being loud and obnoxious in a restaurant…she BETTER not teach my daughter to be like that. But, on one hand, a child making funny noises and being loud in a restaurant is more socially acceptable (maybe not appreciated…) than a 47 year old woman doing the same.
I don’t understand how someone on xanga can embarass you by being your friend. I can’t imagine a situation where someone was like, “Omg, ____ is your friend?? I can’t believe it, they’re so weird. I can’t look at you the same way now, ttyn!”
So to answer your question, no.
Just kidding, I misread the question. I thought you were asking if any Xanga friends embarassed us. My bad. I suppose I’ve had a few friends that were embarassing.
Sure. Friends and family alike have been an embarrassment for me.
Family is family though, and your friends… well, unless they do something completely unforgiveable you shouldn’t just give up on them if they are really your friends.
I can’t recall ever being embarrassed by a friend. Family, however, is another story entirely.
no… its pretty impossible to embarrass me. though my mom is sometimes able to succeed… that seems really childish for that woman to unsub from you because her new boyfriend is made uncomfortable by your site. i mean seriously, grow a pair.
I had a boyfriend who, when drunk, really showed some bad tendencies…
I had a boyfriend that I was embarrassed of once…I was only ever embarrassed of him when I would take him around my friends of part of my family that he either had never met of had not seen that many times..Because it was like he would get nerous and he would start to act weird and he would talk only about himself..you could be having a convo. and he would jump in and just start talking about himself..It would drive me nuts and it would embarrass me…We all tryed to make him feel more comfortable but he never stoped…I tryed to put myself in his shoes…but after a while it felt like some of it he was doing on purpose…I do try very hard not to judge people though…that is not my place to judge..only Gods…and I hope that people will do the same for me =]
I have few friends, but the ones I do have are great and could just about do anything in life and it would not embarrass me. I do not put much stock in what strangers think. They are not an important part of my life, so nothing they think about me or my friends could ever effect me. Its just not important.
i’m usually the one embarrassing people
I don’t think I’ve ever found anything you posted offensive…
And no, none of my friends really embarrass me. People are people and they make their own desicions.
thats ridiculous. how can you be embarrassed by a friend? its your friend, you love them! i mean, i might not agree with everything they do, but i respect them as a person.
pfft, i’d never drop ya!
Have I ever been embarrassed by a friend? No.
Have I ever been concerned about a friend who reveled in stuff he shouldn’t? Yes.
I see you’ve been taking lessons on how to defend yourself to the public from Rod Blagojevich. All of what you said is admirable, but doesn’t answer the concerns of your critics one iota.
I’m normally the one that embarrasses my friends, not the other way around.
My family can be embarrassing though. On Christmas Day, while we were eating dinner with both my boyfriend and my cousin’s new boyfriend, my parents decided to break out the prime rib bones. As a few of us in the family dug into them, my cousin’s new boyfriend asked why we were eating them. My mother replied, “Well, Conrad, we come from a long line of bone suckers.”
I facepalmed pretty hardcore as my cousin sat there in shock and my boyfriend (and the rest of my family) burst out laughing. Thanks Mom, you always know how to liven up a party.
No. I think that there is something beautiful about all of my friends. Even if they do things that wouldn’t be something I’m keen on being associated with, there is still something about that friend that’s important to me. So I can overlook the things that would cause “embarrassment.”
Oh. And I think you’re the stuff, Dan.
No, I don’t have any friends that I am embarrassed by. I can’t even imagine anything one of my friends could do that would make me want to dump them. I am too imperfect myself to be judging anyone else for anything. I am also glad to hear that I am not the only person who picks up homeless people and brings them home with me. ………………….. ~Echo
A couple, so I embarass them right back.
jesus embarrassed me the other day . showing off again , as per usual .
maybe it wasn’t so much embarrassed but some people put photos on their site that I won’t put on mine. Say like the curvy girl you had on your site and asked what form woman are you?
that woman is not the typical woman that I see everyday at the Walmart; so I would not put that photo on my site.
I have dropped friends on xanga because of that. I’m not a prude but I like to stick with folks who see the world similar to the way I do.
Now you went off on a different subject completely but I will just leave you with the above.
I think it’s human nature to be embarrassed but I think it depends on how you act on the situation. But yes, I have been embarrassed before by outbursts from a grown man at a restaurant.
I wouldn’t say they embarrass me at times, I get disappointed in something they do or say, but then I get disappointed in things I do and say at times.I embarrass myself MUCH more than anyone else does!
Thinking of your question though, how can you be enbarrassed by a friend on here that you have never met and REALLY don’t know? I’m guessing you are only talking about friends here on Xanga!
no, but I have been embarrassed for them a time or two.
My friends don’t embarass me at all – and YOU’RE one of my friends, too. I’m never embarrased by you either…
*HUGS*
No, I’m right there doing crazy things with them. I guess that’s a different kind of embarrassment . . . But my friends could do a lot of things without embarrassing me.
I only have a couple of “friends” and none of them I am embarassed by…
I will never be embarrassed by having you has a friend or subscribing to you. Never!!
Yes…i’m not friends with them anymore though, though not for that reason haha. People either have that friend or have had moments where their friends embarrassed the crap out of them.
yeah only 1. :/
NOPE I prefer to be friends with people who dont care what people think or who are “different” one of my closest friend lounges around the house in a polka dot skirt…….and he looks good in it!!
Yes. I think I may blog about it.
Embarrased by friends? Embarrassment comes with the total ‘friends’ package. She needs to learn to deal. I think she should be next to get excommunicated from your friends list.
BTW, I love your content! It makes me smile.
you don’t embarrasse me.
all my frendz embarass me but i reach out to them & love them bekuz they are weak & ugly & if i rejektid them they wud perish in obskurity
Maybe the odd moment, but I don’t get embarassed too easily so nothing jumps out at me
This is one of my favorite posts by you ever. Very touching.
Really liked this entry.
wow dan, i hope the “friend” of yours learn a lesson from this.
Dam’n, I got more knifes stuck in my back from friends than anyone else . . . haven’t been embarrassed much by them though.
Wow. Thats horrible. Man. I guess she isn’t a true friend.
I hope I don’t embarrass my friends, but if so. Then I guess they aren’t my friend eh?
Hm.
I had one friend who embarrassed me but mostly it was cause he was super drunk & trying to pick up the bartender. However. I felt gulity & stopped being embarrassed!!! I never told him & he’s a best friend. I shouldn’t have been….
I have friends who make me think “Oh good lord” occasionally, but in a good way
No, I love my friends for who they are… that’s why I’m friends with them! Nice post too. It’s good to hear that there is still some kindness in the world.
Tell me who she is. I’ll bombard her with nsfw pron.
I’m embarrassed if my friends are rude to other people. And i embarrass the heck out of my children. But otherwise . . . . . . nah.
yes.
great post!
Why is it always the evil conservative christians??????blah!
ummm. Jesus wasn’t embarassed. He embraced. Love covers all.
No, I’m the embarrassment.
I’m ADHD and like to do crazy/funny things in public, so none of my “friends” will go anywhere with me.
I’m usually the one who embarrasses others….so to answer your question, I really don’t know of anyone that would embarrass me that much.
I would never find you embarrassing… But then I am one of those woman who laugh too loud at resturants and I talk to everyone… I suppose I have embarrassed some of my friends, but no one has ever told me so…
Any way… I am PROUD to call you friend.
and for the record… yes. friends have embarrassed** me too many a time.
@edlives - HEy ME TOO!
Yes. But I have ego issues. But I would never deny them being my friend. It’s a hard concept to explain.
The only ones I could consider embarrassing at times are the ones who don’t know what an indoor voice is. I am a quiet person by nature, and I hate knowing that people across the entire cafeteria can hear part of my conversation (even if it’s just what’s being said to me, not by me). Other than that, none of my friends embarrass me.
I’m usually the one who is embarrassing them, but in funny ways that make them laugh.
Only in a teasing way; the way that you have when you’re playing around with each other. I never minded that…still don’t.
Only my Mom, and my kids on a rare occasion have made me wince from embarrassment. Otherwise, I’m pretty tough skinned
No way! Might I add, Dan, you are my favorite friend in my whole xanga friends list. I would never be embarassed by you. Wow and that is so nice of you to have taken that homeless man with you to church. Being non judgemental is the way God wants us to be. I don’t judge people on xanga or in real life. I mean yes, I get first impressions of people but I have matured with the idea that you must get to know a person first. Oh and I know this is a bit off topic but I recently made a graphic banner yesterday that I put on the top of my site. I designed it and it’s a Christian banner that says “he died for me so i live for him”. You should come see it
Anyway, I loved this post.
I hardly ever rec your posts, mostly because you know virtually every person on xanga that I know, but I rec’d your post because it connected with me in a way that you usually don’t. I’ve had friends that embarassed (sp?) me before, but I’ve always taken it in stride. I think it also has something to do with how you handle embarassment, or perceived embarassment.
Six paragraphs? No picture? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU?
the only time i have ever gotten embarassed by a friend was when i was sober and they were completely and being belligerent and awful. But i think that’s a different story, most of us have experienced that at some point. as for true friends…they are who they are, i don’t think i could detach them from my life because i was embarrased of what they said or did unless there were extreme circumstances
I’ve been embarrassed, but nothing serious that would compromise the friendship. Mainly just people who fart loudly in public or something.
@MrsMok - Haha, I thought the same thing. Dan surprises us every now and then with a longer post.
Nope. I don’t really get embarrassed much, though. My dad has done a lot of things in public which are extremely amusing, and might be considered embarrassing by others, but I don’t get embarrassed by it.
That said, I re-registered under a different username here on Xanga cause I knew people in RL who were giving me crap over what I wrote here. They weren’t friends, but they still gave me crap…and I felt like I couldn’t write about certain subjects, etc., so I actually stopped writing on my blog for about 8 months or so. I feel much more free now that they don’t know my blog exists.
I guess I’m more like you. I can’t think of a time any friend of mine did anything that I was embarrassed about. Now. My daughters? When they were young? At the grocery market checkout? DON’T get me started!
Yes, but not in the sense that you mean.
I am not embarrassed to be friends with any of my friends, though.
Well, yes. But, she was acting out to purposely gain attention. I think that’s different from the types of situations you’re describing. Craving attention is entirely different.
No…although I had a boyfriend who embarrassed me on a regular basis. I loved that man but seriously, he always embarrassed me in front of my friends.
Come to think of it, I probably embarrass my friends. Oh well.
Very revelifish post =)
I’ve embarrassed myself more often than any friend has, though a certain cousin had a cruel sense of humor way back when.
HOWEVER, one of my dearest friends did put me in a situation where I had to take a stand. She gives in to her impulses rather freely, and I had to tell her, when she asked, “No, if you ever did that I could not continue to be your friend. I could not offer you any support of any kind if you let yourself go there.”
Amazingly, she is still my closest friend and frequent sounding board.
Everyone has a friend that embarrasses them once in a while. Mine almost got herself arrested while we were at a Tom Thumb because she wouldn’t shut up & the officer thought she was drunk.
No never,what kind of friend would I be if I was that shallow?
This post deserves a high five.
Maybe, I don’t know.. Don’t think so…
@angi1972 - You are about my best friend in the whole world and I have been to NYC with you and saw you in action…but we are two peas in a pod that way,I bet we embarrass others!!
not on xanga, but definitely in real life. i try to carry on nonchalantly, though.
Darlin I wouldn’t be embarassed by you. Not ever.
i’m most definitely not embarrassed by you. not no way, not no how. =]
no.
yes, but I’ve learned to embrace what made me embarrassed.
Wow, Dan. Way to strike back at your critics – guilt ‘em by comparing yourself to Jesus. Well done.
Not in a big way, no.
i don’t want to sound mean, but i think if someone is easily embarrasd of his own friends or other people in general, this is just a singn for this persons poor self-image. people are afraid the “negative traits” of the other person are associated with themselves, and that they are because of this not accepted anymore.
this fear lets them 1. forget that they’ve got nothing to do with the other ones lifestyle or whatever and 2. be superficial.
I’ve been like that myself when i was younger: i was ashamed of my own father because he has long hair, looks like hippie, and has not much money. my friends made fun of such people so i tried to my father from them..because i was afraid they wre making fun of ME. ( unfortunately some kids really are that way) . Nowadays i realized that people like or dislike me for me and not for some other people in my life..and if they still do for some strange reason i tell the that they are wrong.
I really like your attitude. Your reference to Jesus and “Christ-likeness” is thoughtful. I admire your aspiration to Christlike compassion – makes feel like there might be some hope for people after all.
I’m not so concerned with embarrassment – I’m kind of a kook myself – but my fading ability to forgive really troubles me.
I do not really get embarrassed anymore ever since I started attending college. People are just more open minded here, but the life of a high school student…we are constantly worried about how people view us every day. It is really a curse. So just a year ago, I would answer yes. Now…what’s normal? I don’t find anyone embarrassing or any different from me.
Maybe when I was younger and gave a shit what people thought.
I know that my friends are amazing. If anyone thinks I should be embarrassed, they can go fuck themselves.
No. I don’t get embarrassed by much, so anything my friends do doesn’t embarrass me. And I’d probably just joke around with them about it (if the situation was appropriate for that)…
Of course. I think its worse when you have coworkers who embarrass you. You can always slap your friends but you can’t always slap your coworkers, especially the boss’ son.
No.
I have about a few, but I tried to change the subject on them so that they wouldn’t continue any further.
We’re all embarrassing to some degree, but I try to keep myself in check and maintain my maturity level.
And I have six little siblings. It’s not that easy to embarrass me anymore.
And I’d never be embarrassed by you.
That kind of thing doesn’t embarrass me. I thought you were going to talk about friends who get drunk and loud and fall down and spill other people’s drinks.
Hey, I wonder if I embarrass my friends. ???
I have several “special” friends. They’re not retarded by any means, they’re just very very very immature. They’re still my friends, nonetheless and surprisingly, they happen to be one of the closer friends that I’ve grown up with. I wonder how many people I embarrass haha
I have a couple of friends who embarrass me with their lack of social dignity. I am also very embarrassed of my mother and dislike being out with her at all (dislike her in general really.)
I remember I wrote some bs paper in school (8th grade maybe?) that was on who embarrasses you and I wrote about my mother.
I’m sure I have, although I cannot think of any at this moment.
You don’t embarrass me at all, Dan.
Sure, sometimes I don’t want my mom to know I’m reading your site, but she can be protective about that so it’s fine. I’m a conservative Christian too, like your friend’s boyfriend, and I love your posts. 
They’re controversial and funny.
yes my best friend went to my x boyfriends best friend/ my roommate and out of badness told him to ask about me and my x and the oil isedent and to tell me that he new all about it . this was a storie i had told my best friend when i had been drunck at her b-day and i was embarressed about the fact that i had spilled the beans on my love life. so when he came to me and started teaseing me i was so embarressed and upset that she had told people . but later they both told me they where jokeing and my roommate said ifi wanted i could tell him the storie and i said no . i got her back later by telling her dad she had a big date with this new guy and he teased the crap out of her at a family event about it.
if someone embarress u tell them , then get over it , you probly do something to embarress them as well.
p.s ya i now my spelling sucks ass and thats okay
My true friends; no.
Sure. I embarrass easy. I have a wide variety of friends, some of which don’t mesh well, so there’s bound to be some tension and awkward moments. I’m not afraid to back any of them up.
As for fellow Xangans, there are certain sex-obsessed ones that I avoid when I am in the presence of certain company (anyone really). There is some behavior I just don’t think is worth defending or arguing about.
I wish I could say no. But I have to say yes.
Wow its nice that you let that guy stay at your house. that was super kind! && no i dont really get embarassed.
I don’t think I’ve ever been friends with anyone I was embarrassed to be seen with. I’ve had various friends embarrass me on occassion, like when a good friend of mine told my crush at the time that I was secretly hoping he’d kiss me on my birthday. It was more of a “I can’t believe she did that!” kind of thing rather than, “I can’t be seen with her because she might ruin my reputation.”
No. I’m probably the embarrassing friend.
This was an excellent entry.
A friend? No. A family member? Oh god yes, but isn’t that what family is for anyways?
Just one, I won’t say her name tho. She is VERY sexual, and I enjoy sub’ing to her, but I never feel like I could rec her stuff cause then people will see that I read about…s-e-x lol
Actually thanks to all your crazy bikini posts lately I have had to be very careful about checking xanga with my kids in the room. Your photos are most often a little too racey these days. I’ve considered unsubbing, but I keep hoping you’ll post something of substance, something to discuss like you used to!
yes, but she would purposefully do it
My friends and I regularly do embarrassing things, but it very rarely actually embarresses me.
And incidently, if I felt the need to end a friendship over a boyfriend {a NEW one nonetheless} then he is most likely Not someone that would last long…. just a thought
Not you, Dan. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing wrong with your site– at all. What a prudey-pants the guy must be, or maybe it is what -she- aspires to be (and feels she is failing at).
Sad what a misguided, wrong-headed notion of morality can do to someone’s conscience.
yeah of course.. and I’m sure I embarrass my friends sometimes
i just choose to accept people for who they are and if a friend of mine can not accept that than they do not accept me. their loss
At a few points in the past, i think i have been… but now i just come to realize that the reason they are my friend is because of who they are. and if that is part of who they are, i try to understand them in that sense and accept them either way. so i guess i do not find any of my friends embarrassing, and i hope they do not think of me as an embarrassing friend.. but i can see/understand why i would be embarrassing to them if they did feel that way. i adore my friends =)
One of my friends was a heavy, heavy pot smoker. He used daily, all day. I stopped wanting to go anywhere with him because he was always so goddamn slow and annoying and giggly, and yep, embarassing as hell.
Oh potheads….
I think i might embarrass my friends, actually.
I suppose this is going to make me sound awful.
Yes, I have been embarrassed by a friend. However, I did not let on and they are still my friend.
I’m sure I embarrass people sometimes myself. I don’t try, but some things are unavoidable. It is only a feeling, and feelings are not in themselves wrong.
No, but there’s a couple of family members………..
i’m not embarrassed by any of my friends (unless you count my dad who’s more of a wacky buddy than an authority at my age) but i guess i stand a very good chance of being the embarrassing friend
Yes i have embarrasing friends..I like the end of your blog where you ask the question about Jesus. I think I would be embarrased to be in front of Jesus because he would no my thoughts. Although I know he knows all of them anyway but its much easier to know that with him not actually being in my face. I no it’s crazy… Nice Blog!!!
I can’t recall any friend who has embarrassed me…. except maybe my husband. But not in a bad way – he just did a lot of goofy stuff that caused me to roll my eyes a lot. I don’t think that I was actually embarrassed, though.
haha I think I am too busy being the embarassing friend… I used to be the ultra-conservative Christian, and now, I think I am about the opposite… Some people can’t deal with the switch
yeah. everyone of mine, i guess.
yes, if you have a “friend” but they cannot stop their inner bitterness, and constantly diss you it can be awful.
well if you put it that way.
for practical purposes,
maybe if you would ease up on the gratuitous boob shots, your embarrassed friend might not feel so embarrassed
the heart of the matter,
nobody is perfect, maybe we can’t walk on water but we all try out best to toe the line to be relevant and matter as well as to be pure and blameless. to be in the world but not of the world.
peace to you~
I can’t think of any friends of whom I’m embarrassed–maybe periodically, but not on a continuing basis.
When you do it unto the least of them, you do it unto Christ. That is the blessing of giving to others.
It takes a lot for a friend to embarrass me. Though, of course, there are those that say inappropriate things loudly in public or talk to cows. Yet I’m still friends with those people. I just ask politely for them to watch what they say. Cows are such gossips.
All the time, actually. And I know I shouldn’t, but, y’know, to an extent you have to put on different faces for different people, and I have acquaintances who just wouldn’t approve of some of my other acquaintances.
Yes, but I stand by my friends — until they do something that completely abuses my trust in some way. That would be real life or on line friends. And even then I can be completely forgiving… once
I think I am the “embarrassing friend”, as I tend not to get embarrassed.
I think the only people who have ever deliberately embarrassed me are my parents.
I’m only embarrassed by my own actions. Why should I feel embarrassment over someone else’s actions or situation? No… I just feel pity for them.
No
Embarrassing friends are the best friends.
When I was younger, I got embarassed by my little brother because he’s autistic. When I look back on it, I feel really bad for acting that way, so I try not to act that way now. I don’t really get embarassed by my friends/family anymore, because I figure anyone that would disapprove of them or me for certain things isn’t really someone I should associate with anyway. Everyone has their bad points, we just have to learn to accept that we’re not all perfect.
You remember jesus huh
Yes but, they’re just goofing off and like to see me blush. I’m shy and easily get embarrassed.
in a lot of cases, i’m the embarrassing one lol. i can get pretty crazy in public.
I’ve never been embarrassed by a friend before. I don’t think I ever could be. Some of the things they do make me want to hide at points, but I’d never be embarrassed of them.
My friends do it deliberately!
So I just give it back to them ha ha.
You sound like a great person. =]
Yes. I’ve had friends who actively attempted to humiliate me, though, so it wasn’t really embarrassing so much as humiliating because they did it on purpose. But… I’ve never had a REAL friend who embarrassed me simply by their presence.
my ex boyfriend used to embarrass me and he still does. i’m glad i left him.
that being said, i don’t see how having a certain online friend can be embarrassing. does this boyfriend read her blog subscriptions or something??
when i was younger, i was probably more prone to finding myself embarrassed by friends. i was ignorant and intolerant, and probably didn’t want to be associated with someone that might not have perfectly represented my ideals.
however, with growth came a more open mind. i’ve had friends from many different walks of life, and i must say that i feel enriched and fulfilled to have known them; not at all embarrassed. as you said, no one is perfect. no one. we’re all just as human as the next person, all flawed and imperfect, yet amazing, all the same, in our diverse qualities. to be embarrassed of one of my friends would go against everything that i have come to know and believe. i accept them and their right to go through life in whatever way they choose, whether or not it follows my path. just because they do something differently, that doesn’t make it wrong or “embarrassing.” now, if they were REALLY trying to make some public display for shock-value, i might have to tactfully let them know that their actions were bound to potentially embarrass THEM. not me, though.
being embarrassed of a friend is kind of like being ashamed of them, i guess. i’m not ashamed of my friends, and i am not ashamed to be associated with them, no matter what THEY might do. because i am me, and NOT them. if someone wants to lump me in with them because of their actions, usually, that’s not my problem and never will be. plus, people that are silly enough to resort to such generalizations are not the types that i want approval from in the first place.
if someone loves their friends, unless they’re really out of line and doing something wrong, i don’t think it’s all that appropriate to be ashamed of them. it’s kind of … well, i don’t have a good word for it, other than just plain weird, and it goes against what most friendships stand for.
interesting topic; i just wish i could articulate my thoughts on it more clearly/concisely.
my rude grandmother spits when she talks and refuses to control the decibel of her voice, and i feel awful but i am embarrassed of her behaviour when we go out in public. that is the only embarrassment i can think of. family is different, i think.
Well sure, I’ve had friends that embarrass me, but in the end, they’re still your friends! =)
Ahh, I’d say I get embarrassed by some of their actions, but never by their personalities.
Great post by the way!
:] aww you’re so nice.
Embarrassed by my friends, use to but now I don’t quite give a damn. Unless it’s beyond humiliating and illegal, then i might sly away from them a bit. But if I do, they’ll understand.
x
Lol, I’ve had my friends embarrass me by like… tripping me in front of everyone >.< But it’s never been something like, “Oh, I’m embarrassed to be around you.” That’s silly. Why the heck would they be my friends if that were the case?
sigh. yeah, i have; sadly, i was a bitch about it. i regret it, we’re friends again, but sometimes it’s rocky. it’s not so much as them purposely embarrassing you, sometimes it’s the true person that they are that embarrasses you. after growing a little older, and not being as supercilious, it’s wrong to feel embarrassed and you stick with your friends.
i know. confusing comment.
That’s really nice of you and your family. I would be so scare to give a stranger a ride or let him/her stay over at my house.
I’d say she is a snob and wasn’t really your friend. At least she had the good graces to apologize as she was snubbing you.
They make fun of me.
But I don’t care
That’s why it’s all about laughs.
They make fun of me.
But I don’t care
That’s why it’s all about laughs.
I’m embarrassed by your… existence? Period.
yes, but I also have been the friend that has embarassed others.
So it doesnt matter.
Nope.
I really enjoyed this entry. Sometimes I am embarassed to hang out with people simply because everyone else associates them with this certain reputation. But what I have realized is that if you are open to anyone, people with good, bad, or even no reputation, others who are smart enough will recognize your openmindedness. And hey, atleast you aren’t seen as stuck up!
I liked this post a lot, Dan. It was a nice, pleasant, reassuring read. Thank you for sharing some of your experiences with me (I’ve had some similar ones).
-James
@maniac_rose - I think you can turn it around: anyone who you’re embarrassed by/of is not really your friend.
@maniac_rose - I disagree. My friends occasionally embarrass me, and I’m sure I’ve embarrassed them in equal measure, but we’re still friends. It’s the fact that we don’t let the embarrassment get in the way of our relationship that allows us to be friends.
My best friend John sometimes embarrasses me. i mean i love him to death and id never ditch him or something because of it but sometimes i get embarrassed cuz he thinks girls are gonna throw themselves at him when they’re not. Like on Halloween last year he goes up to my cousin, sits down next to her and puts his arm around her; she’s not the brightest crayon in the box and she didn’t know that he was hitting on her until i had to tell her later that night.
Ugh, yes I have been, and there is not a single thing I have ever done that made me feel more guilty than when I realized I was behaving in such a way as to demonstrate that I was embarrassed by another human being. The hardest part was asking for forgiveness.
Hmm, this is a real thinker. *It’s quiet introspection time.*
Only when they’ve purposefully set out to do so. They are just being goofy though so it is a funny kind of embarrassment. Not at all because of who they are.
My dear friend thinks it’s funny to make farting noises at the store.
Doesn’t embarrass me. =)
She is hilarious.
I have, but it’s mostly been my fault. The ways they embarassed me were very simple and normal things, it’s just that they did them around people who weren’t like that. I’ve overcome that, though.
it’s all part of being friends.
all of friends embarrassbut i embarrass them as well.
but then we’re all a bunch of really crazy people
nice of u.
i really think everyone has one of those moments when you think ‘ oh god, i can’t believe this person is my friend’ but i also think that is what makes them our friends also…
one of my best friends has a tendency to talk really loud, especially when she’s gossiping.. we’ve run into some trouble with that hah
yeah….
My friends and I embarrass each other all the time – it isn’t the end of the world and if this so called “friend” of yours, albeit on a social networking site, suddenly thinks less of you because of what her boyfriend thinks or believes, then she isn’t much of a person in reality and you don’t need her as part of your life.
I don’t recall being embarassed by a friend. I truly commend you on all the good work that you do =)
Ehh, I guess to a certain extent my friends embarrass me at times. Its not like I care to overly much of what people think of me but I know that my friends can be a bit much, expecially when you first meet them. So if we are out meeting new people and my friends are being overly outgoing and the other person is just like “uhh… wha?” then yeah… I’m a wee bit embarassed.
Embarrassment is as much a personal choice as being afraid, ashamed, taking offense, getting “hurt feelings,” or any such decision. We don’t embarrass others, and we don’t have to feel embarrassed, even by our own unwise or ill-conceived acts. Accusing another of embarrassing one is judgmental and irresponsible.
I have soooooooo many embarrasing friends.
Kudos! Props!!! Geeze, now I think I’m in love with you. Or maybe it’s the idea of you.
Seriousness – It’s great though that you seem to not judge anyone. I wish I can say the same of myself – I would never be brave enough to just offer a homeless person room and board like that. I don’t know if it’s partly because of stereotypes or partly because of me being a girl.
And no one really embarrasses me – well, except for my ex-roommate, but it was because she was promiscuous.
I’m a little conservative, on the quiet side, so sometimes if my friends get too loud or overexcited, I get embarrassed….but nothing major.
This is such a great post, and it really makes me think very highly of you. Thank you for sharing it.
Out of all the posts I’ve ever read of yours on Xanga, this one is my favorite.
I have never been embarassed by a friend, but my friend has been embarassed by me.
I don’t think it’s our place to judge someone’s xanga to the point where we’re “embarrassed” to be friends. I started my xanga as a journal and felt comfort in the fact that (at first) my friends couldn’t see…then it turned out that I was proud of some of my work and wanted to share with my friends.
We all write for different reasons and instead of condemning one for their beliefs we should be embracing everyone’s various views and opinions…even if they don’t mirror our own.
Not anyone I was embarrassed to be friends WITH. I have been embarrassed by someone, I’m sure, but I can’t really remember any specific times.
But it’s just like having friends who annoy you sometimes.
You get over it because that’s what friends are for.
Yes… but it was only because I didn’t realize yet that she was completely insane. If I’d known. I wouldn’t have been embarassed at all.
i’m not really embarrassed about my friends as a whole
but sometimes they can be really really disrespectful. i still love them for who they are, but you can’t say that some things which come out of people’s mouths and actions aren’t embarrassing, i can’t say they don’t bother me the slightest. But not because i am around other people, it is because of simply how disrespectful they are being.
in my circle of friends, i’m the one everyone else is embarrassed by. not that i mind. just means i can do what i want and have a good time whether people like it or not. n.n
some of my frineds just don’t know how to behave themselves…it can get really embarrassing but i still love them!
In truth, I have been embarrassed by a friend from time to time, and on occasion I have allowed a friend to look dumb so I don’t have to feel that way myself. I’ve always felt entirely wretched afterwards, and determined would never do it again. So far I haven’t =].
If I ever do find myself embarrassed by someone I care about, it’s easy to remind myself that it doesn’t matter in the slightest. The embarrassment is short-lived and I quickly remember that the people I aim to support are the ones whose opinions matter, not the outside world.
With both friends and family, I figure, it’s not my fault if they’re idiots.
It will be a grand and lovely thing if everyone have just one friend who is like you. Someone who accepts them no matter what. I would love to be your friend.
You sound a lot more christian than those who shout loudly that they are.
Your mother did a good job raising you.
Wow, wonderfully written and you are so right!
actually, yes.
I think that if you’re embarrassed by your “friends” then you really need to look into why you are friends with them. My best friends and I will intentionally embarrass each other for fun but the way that we act together and the things that they do don’t embarrass me. Some of my friends who I’m not close with me embarrass me sometimes. But I just deal with it. I don’t think that people’s life story and opinions should embarrass another person.
If you were really my friend I would never be embarassed by you.
Being friends with someone is to be vulnerable enough to allow them to be embarrassed by you, and you by them. Then you suck it up, see if an apology is warranted, and move on. I have had many friends embarass me… and I know I have done things that embarassed them… but again… that is in the moment, and it passes. To have shame of someone for an extended period… well, that is a deeper issue concerning your friendship.
And you right in the comparison with Jesus in the Scriptures. He hung around with thieves, hookers, sinners… the real scum of the society He lived in. And he wasn’t ashamed of them. He loved them. We should try to model Him more, not be ashamed of our friends. We should love them more when we are embarassed.
Oh yeah… But I love this person anyway.
And I appreciate what you did for those who needed you. Not everyone would do that.
r u serious? you shouldnt be on a blogging website if your not up for contraversy
So this is how Christians passive-aggressively vent. Not that I blame you. I guess it is sort of a tricky moral code to negotiate when you want to call someone out for pissing you off, but you’re not really allowed to.
Sure I’ve been embarrassed by friends. A long time ago it was for silly superficial reasons and I’m glad I’m not there anymore.
I’m not at all embarrassed by friends who are struggling with addictions, mood disorders, poor hygiene, bad fashion sense, lack, etc…that’s not about me, so why should I make it so?
What embarrasses me is friends who should know better being arrogant, condescending, etc to others in my presence. Which I suppose is also not about me but it’s so appalling….
Bottom line perhaps is broken people don’t embarrass me because I’m one of them; snotty people do because I’m not, and I don’t want to be mistaken as one.
Embarrassed by who I’ve counted as xanga/myspace/facebook friends, though? This is something I cannot imagine.
For the most part, I embarrass my friends, but they have never once condemned me for it.
I think some of my friends have embarrassed me on occasion but not in a way that would make me want to drop them as a friend. Most of mine have been incredibly embarrassed of me though. :l
My mother can be very emberassing at times.
I was in a coach store in the mall and she came in and shouted my childhood nickname at me and it was like I was 14 all over again. After that I told her I would never shop with her again.
sadly yes, only to hide my insecurities that I saw in that person, i was embarrassed. i wanted to be around people I was comfortable with.
that was my problem of course.
Yes. But those people are only embarrassing because they frustrate me immensely and sure, I didn’t want to introduce them to friends I actually liked a lot, but I also didn’t want to spaz out and break something over their head when my other friends were around.
So I guess they’re not really friends, but people who claim to be my friend, who I humor a little but want to strangle mostly.
That friend should be ashamed of herself.
Sometimes people need to stop being so stiff.
Everything can’t be perfect all the time.
There are things we disagree with out there.
Plain and simple.
They didn’t embarrass me, so much as themselves. I’ve felt embarrassed for them at times.
i’ve always wanted to do that. take a homeless person home and treat them well at least for a day. even since i saw pay it forward i’ve wanted to do that, but i think i’m always scared that i’ll pick the one out of 2000 million that’s crazy and will kill me in my sleep. i did give a homeless man my ice cream once. his name was jerry.
anyway, what really gets me, is uh. she’s your xanga friend? so doesn’t that technically mean she’s your friends BECAUSE of what you write on the site? sounds more like she’s embarrassed of herself for actually reading the content.
i don’t get embarrassed by other people, i used to, but when your friends are acting weird, people are usually paying attention to them than to their friend. no one looks at the friend and things “that person must be a loser cuz their hanging out with the weird kid” (or maybe they do?)
I don’t know the person who sent you the message, but from an outsider’s perspective, it seems pretty shallow. The embarrassment part, I mean. If she said she disagreed with you politically, religiously, etc. to a really great degree and just had to back off of you or unsubscribe or something, I mean, to me that seems a little more understandable because that’s more like remaining true to your beliefs or morals, or whatever the case may be. Just my opinion, I suppose, but the “I’m just too embarrassed by you to be your friend” seems just a tad highschool.
Sorry, random embarrassed person.
You are one nice person to treat those people the way you did, cause honestly alot of us couldnt care less. but yeah, very recently a friend kind’ve embarrassed me he just got really drunk and loud and some people were making annoyed noises becuase of it. i did what i could so we could be more calm but it was his birthday, and i was like shit well i just have to let it go…
I’ve had friends that embarrassed me, but I’ve embarrassed them right back. lol
There is nothing embarassing about you. If your friend is truly a friend she won’t jerk you around b/c her boy-friend is a “nice” guy. I dated a Minister’s son for five years and he was, in the end, abusive and not nice. no faith in me or anyone else, including God. you’re family sounds amazing. mine would have had me committed. i hope i have a family where my daughter can pick up a safe hitchiker and bring him home for dinner and a nights peaceful rest. have more faith in you. i would be proud to call you a friend,
love
soulstar
aks
keri
Lol, I don’t really feel embarassed. Occasionally slightly awkward, sure, but I have moments like that when I’m by myself too. xD
I suppose I’m a little jaded, I don’t have a “I’ve seen it all” attitude, but I’m hard to surprise…so that may have something to do with it.
People are people, I don’t agree with alot of people in this world, and clash with plenty…but that doesn’t mean I’d feel bad hanging around with even people I dislike, that’s just how I am. I don’t see the big deal, really…though I try to accept when people make it a big deal.
maybe jesus just wanted to hit on that girl.
ah… now you made that friend all guilty, haah. great blog though. yes i have had friends that were embarrassing. it was mainly because of their eccentric nature and they would just do things in public or say things that i wished they wouldn’t. yknow, it just attracts unwanted attention.
Nope, I love my firends to death mostly ’cause we’re very similar, but I’ve never been embarassed by them. But as someone said before. I’ve been embarassed by my family a number of times…
When different groups of friends/family collide…yes -__-
Nope.. but i do not know what they think of me.. though i’m pretty sure i don’t embarrass em also.
I had a friend who was embarrassed to be friends with me. That day I learned that if someone can’t accept me for who I am, then why bother being friends with that person.
Who are you? I run into you or if not a comment about “Dan” so many freakin’ times but have no clue how or why a good portion of the Xanga community seems to at least vaguely know who you are.
Maybe I’m shameless…or maybe I have a similar spirit as yours, but I don’t seem to find myself embarrassed by my friends, although I’ve had friends ask me to “tone it down a little” for their friends, fiends, and families…which, of course, I would try to oblige.
For what it’s worth, I understand…
I have an embarrassing husband. Does that count?
If I don’t have any embarrassing friends, that probably means that *I’M* the embarrassing friend! LOL
I laugh off embarrassment. I try to anyway. I don’t have any friends who embarrass me simply because I don’t have any friends. I can be kind of an ass online though….I’ve helped plenty of homeless and poor people in my life. I don’t think I did anything near as impressive as Jesus did though, I’m still working on it. I don’t get embarrassed really.
I’m pretty sure that, witht he current people I hang out with we’re all so used to embarassing ourselves it isn’t possible for us to embarass each other anymore. Although, now that I think about it.. I’ve never really felt embarasses by me. Me embarassign them could very well be a different story though
I don’t understand why a friend is a reflection on you. That is a very shallow way of looking at someone.
no. and no matter what my friends do, i will still lov ‘em
I try to be as open minded as I can about the people I know. So one of the most important things I choose to do with my friends is learn to accept their faults even if they don’t do the same for me.
I don’t think I’ve purposely avoided a friend because I thought they were embarassing. Although a few of my friends in middle school/high school did that to a really sweet girl I was friends with because of her weight problems. It was unfair to her as she is one of the nicest people I have met.
so far so good. no. i value my friend. even it embarrass me, they still my friend and i still their friend. so, i guess no. i can’t think of any.
but i will think that i maybe the one who embarrass them sometime.
Wow… To me, you are more of a Christian than the “conservative Christian”. The church is full of people who are trying to be “Christ-like” but don’t know what that is. They do not help the poor, they do not volunteer their time. They are so concerned with trying the be Christ-like, that they’ve totally missed the mark. So many people out there are tithing and praying, but where are the people who are actually DOING God’s work? Where are the ones who want to lead people to Christ? Actions speak louder than words, and it doesn’t matter what you do inside the church building. What matter is what you do when you leave that building and enter your mission field. How you are living your life, and how much you still walk the walk when no one is looking. Who cares if you’re a youth pastor, worship leader, senior pastor, or church secretary? If you’re not doing God’s work when you leave the building, then all you’re doing is preaching to the choir. It’s not the people inside the church building who need to hear the word, it’s those beyond those walls!! If someone is embarrassed to have you as a friend because you speak your mind, that person was never really a friend to begin with… Also, if this friend of yours did not feel this way about you before she met the boyfriend, she has allowed someone to change her as a person… Sometimes it’s alright to change, but never change for someone else.
That’s gay. =/ I think if someone is embarrassed of their friend the other person shouldn’t have them as a friend at all. & what an ASSHOLE! I could never do that to any of my friends..That guy needs to grow up.
or maybe you’re just comfortable with yourself and have friends who like you as you are, rather than worrying about what others think of them because of you!
Well said! I must say that at this point in my life, it’s pretty hard for anyone to really embarrass me.
Who hasnt…
I think my friends may have, but ive gotten over it…
I think I may have embarrassed someone once (pretty bad, i didnt know it at that moment) too…but thats another story…another day.
Not really. I don’t get embarrassed easily. If so I was younger. I am sorry your friend feels that way.
Take Care,
Nicola
Yes, but not to the extent that I’d want to stop being friends with them….there are other things to make me cut off my friendship
If someone is your friend, and really your friend, they know you, accept you and love you the way you are. Granted we all evolve and change and so do our friendships but to be embarassed by a friend? Not unless alcohol is involved but that’s a different kind of embarassed.
As for this “friend” who has the ultra Christian boyfriend… he doesn’t sound very Christian if he’s not accepting of all people regardless if their beliefs, etc. are different from his.
Pull the fragmented pieces of your broken existence back together…
Yes, I have.
I can feel a bit awkward with the way a friend acts sometimes, but I wouldn’t say I’ve ever been embarassed by a friend and certainly not a close one.
For that girl to say she has a new bf and you’re embarassing her is pretty bad
@maniac_rose - agreeeeeeed.
No
I was embaraased too. That is why I dropped you
I have… I was driving around without a license for a while and my friend had to mention that I didn’t have a license to her boyfriend’s friends and I was there too… So I witnessed it… I didn’t say anything about it, but I turned it into a joke instead… bleh, I was kind of mad that she would tell people we hardly knew though.
Super deep. And I don’t recall… Maybe?
It happens. Thankfully, I’ve yet to meet anyone I’d label as a friend who’d I could consider embarrassing.
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Fred Smilek is the acting president of the Society to
Save Endangered Species. It was founded two years ago by Fred Smilek along with
his two best friends Charles and Jonathan.http://www.fredjsmilek.com
Friend who has embarrassed ME? I think that’d be vice versa
“I” embarrass them. LOL.
well yeah. i have had PARENTS embarass me. friends embarassing me are far less humiliating. no fears theogian. i am absolutely shameless on the internet… you can post naked pics of yoruself and i wouldnt even have the grace to blush. however if we were seen publicly walking down the street… that would be another matter entirely.
haha jk.
Yep, most of my friends are embarrassed by me but i tend to ignore them and stay closer to the ones who dont care.
Yeah.. i have a friend who said she was very embrassed to have a friend like me… =(
I don’t really know at the moment but damn, you are an amazing person!
Not in any huge way, and I am not one that tends to worry too much about what others think of me.
And you can bet that I wouldn’t be giving up an old friend for a new friend/boyfriend.
I do not get embarrassed to easily & no, my friends do not do that either. I think that if at some point we feel that someone embarrasses us then we should ask, “Was I truly a friend to them anyhow?” This would have hurt my feelings, I don’t think that I would have been as understanding as you are being.
@maniac_rose - that’s not always true. Just because someone gets embarrassed by some of your actions does not mean they are not a real friend.
way to go, dan. i’m so glad you posted this entry. no one should be embarrassed by you, or who any of their friends are. and i admire your bold hospitality to our brothers and sisters in the most need. my respect for you has just grown about ten times!!
Haha, my friends embarrass me all the time, but that’s why they’re my friends.
aw i’d probably not have the guts to pick up a homeless guy – probably because i am scared of them killling me, but i think it’s really sweet.
you make a very good point my friend.