February 24, 2009
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David and His Penis
We haven’t had this important debate for some time now.
Is David?
1. Average size
2. Caught in a bad angle
3. Incredibly small
4. Asian
5. in a cold museum
We haven’t had this important debate for some time now.
Is David?
1. Average size
2. Caught in a bad angle
3. Incredibly small
4. Asian
5. in a cold museum
Comments (198)
Marble is cold.
Hm…then again, it’s also supposed to be hard.
5
Cold museum….shrinkage
Must be freezin in there
@saintvi - LMAO!
3. Incredibly small
then again, anything less then 9 is small to me.
but whatever.
People are smaller when flaccid.
An unaroused penis is always smaller than one aroused.
In a cold museum.. That’s my take.
definitely asian haha
You try carving a large penis out of stone with a hammer and chisel.
he shy :X
his body is too big!
3. Sorry David
Probably bad angle, and as he doesn’t appear to be in an aroused state I can’t accurately judge.
all five.
xo
I like David, he makes me seem exceptional.
o_o; he’s not exactly packin’. hope he had other qualities? =D
perhaps its the cold museum and the lack of pretty and interesting people that go to museums to see him. XD
nothing a penis pumper can’t fix.
incredibly small
6. Above average
maybe the maker was imitating his own penis
Maybe this is why he went around being a hard ass. He was compensating.
“Bitch, I’m King of Israel! This don’t even matter! I killed Goliath with a stone man! A STONE!”
Maybe he’s a grow-er, not a show-er.
You can’t judge a flaccid penis.
Somebody got jealous of his actual size.
Give him a magazine to look at and then ask.
Perspective is intentionally distorted in a log of M.’s large-scale works for the benifit of the life-size viewer.
6. Proof big feet means nothing.
hahahah You have one of your answers as Asian. You punk, THEOLOGIAN. Asians are not THAT size!!
I would have to say……cold musuem.
you probably didn’t want the actual explanation but, that’s my thing, so:
Greek sexuality focused on the entire body composition, not the actual sexual organs. Size of the male penis was not important to them like it is in our culture. You see the same thing in women’s breasts on their statues. also, the ancient Greeks were uncircumcised, which means it would naturally appear smaller.
Also, on the angle thing, the statue was sculpted to appear proportionate from a specific view, meaning certain parts are actually disproportionately larger or smaller in relation to actual measurements in order to deceive in the eye. That’s why the one hand looks so abnormally large.
Wow… I’m a nerd
Cold, I think. But definitely not Asian.
and we need to settle this question because…
I’d have to say 2 and 5.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I think he was just cold.
@jenessa1889 - I’m glad I’m not the only one whose art history classes made her actually seriously think about the question. Haha.
@ProjectHappy - good one.
this has been one of the odder xanga posts I’ve read today
hmmmm i wonder if size even mattered back then????
Smaller penises were considered part of the ideal beauty of men back in the day. That’s why the majority of the male nudes from this time are similarly crafted.
@jenessa1889 - best response
….what she said.
The issue is not his penis.
It’s his hands. They are huge!!
SMALL!!
I loled at 4.
5.
maybe he’s a hermaphrodite. perhaps it’s an enlarged clitoris? haha
“he’s a grower, not a show-er”
LMFAO.
this one is just too ridiculous, dan.
#3 for sure, in my own opinion. But I think he’s actually #1 by any appropriate measures…
@another_rebel_without_a_cause - lol!
i’d say he’s Asian. LMAO…
what a random question o_o
David is obviously proud of his very small attachment.
I’m more concerned that the artist put macaroni noodles in the pubic region instead of hair.
Asian and in a cold museum. Poor fellow. Oh well, there are fetish sites devoted to small penises nowadays…
the statue was coming along so beautifully, he had to be brought down a notch so his head would not crack. sorry, no big weiner for you.
Isn’t it obvious? He’s a white guy and not a black guy or asian guy….that’s the answer.
Why don’t we settle the question. . .How many inches classifies as big? I rarely give you eprops Dan, but you got em this time.
you know when i take over the world i’m going to send to gullotine every man who’s penis exceeds a certain size.
p.s.: you stink
I agree with ProjectHappy- perhaps Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni was imitating his own penis.
I also have to agree with TakingxOverxMe and flashbuld100w.
And umm, wasn’t David supposed to be a young lad?
Check out Priapus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapus
David’s Penis isn’t small…he’s FUN SIZED!!
Yaknow, like, Halloween candy…only…a penis!
@mangotini - haha I was just about to put that when I saw you did
word, my friend
Maybe Michelangelo was scupting from a live model, and since art studios weren’t heated in those days…
Maybe he’s on steroids?
smalllll
Are you serious? Is #4 really a category? I’m going to admit, I’m pretty disappointed.
That’s low.
it izza well known fakt of science that the penis in repoze iz smaller on most men than an erekt penis im assuming david izzin repoze however itz also true that meny seemingly small gifts grow quite large wen agitaytid i shud thynk that david iz wunna theze & even if not hez sportin sum sweet testikular akshun if i must say so myself i think hezza hottie
Its probably likely that David just stepped out of the cold shower.
yea, they are smaller when unaroused, but not typically THAT small. in my experiance.
so i say 3 and 5.
Cold media.
And museum.
And it was probably winter.
And his cock couldn’t be — LIKE WHOA — big…because it was going to be placed in, you know, the middle of a fucking city.
Oh, for it to be the Renaissance again…
@pansybradshaw - do you fucking seriously type like that? i hope that was a joke.
@makethemakersmile - not only do i type lyke that but yes i fukin seriously type lyke that no fukin joke now instedda goin off topik & gettin all nasty & abusive with me you may either engage me inna diskushun of davidz penis/skrotum or skip my komment entirely & reed sumbudy else ok thanks
@another_rebel_without_a_cause - win.
it wasnt his fault, poor david, stuck like that. Im sure if he had a nice lady friend next to him …
????…Dan, you think dirty for someone who claims to be a Christian. The Christians that I know act very formal and proper. They spend most of their free time reading the bible instead of trashing other people’s private parts on the internet.
^^Yeah, Dan! Damn you to hell…I’m unsubscribing immediately….okay, maybe not.
@DommieGirlLovie - Way, way too much information. Jeez.
@mangotini - Exactly what I was going to say. It’s like people not smiling in painted portraits. It’s difficult to keep an erection for as long as it would take to chisel his likeness.
Also, I was all geared up for this to be some crazy censorship debate. Sigh.
Maybe just a victim of budget cuts – using more marble might have been expensive.
For a minute there, I thought you were talking about my ex boyfriend and his penis. To each their own, I guess
the frank to beans ratio is a little disproportionate.
and that’s all I have to say regarding that.
catering to the lowest common denominator… once again.
i have to say this…
….
….
I’ve always wanted to rub up against that statue in public view *_*
…I’m just not even sure what to say. this amuses me.
i would say cold museum or bad angle, but if there are other pictures and it looks the same, we may just have to face his inadequacies.
Men are smaller when they are flaccid though, right? I saw the statue in Italy a long time ago and it looks really small. I thought that was kind of funny.
Haha love this post!
Anyways maybe it was made small on purpose as not to distract from the art itself? But come on men, stop hiding, you know he’s probably average size!
Though I must say 4 and 5 are my favorite options…
#2 for all I care!
grow-er, not a show-er? how many times has that been said?
Not real sure…but at least he’s anatomically correct (i.e. has a foreskin).
I get really irritated by everything showing cut dicks…it just isn’t right!!!! The foreskin has a purpose…quit cutting them off!!!!
5,because when I was in italy, that museum was pretty damn cold.
@abilene_piper_lg - I didn’t cut my son up if that makes you feel any better. Many moms and dads now-a-days are chosing not to.
@Chesschick01 - I know. The mutilation rates have fallen from 90% just 30 years ago to right at 50% now (and it continues to decline the more we learn about the vital functions of this part of the male anatomy).
I commend you for making an informed decision. As it is, I now wear a weight taped to my pride and joy to stretch the shaft skin into a fake foreskin. Not the same obviously, but I’ll at least have some of my sensitivity and gliding action back.
just unlucky.
@jenessa1889 - thats really interesting.
teeny
Number 5! LOL
3, poor guy
Average size but there’s shrinkage due to being in a cold museum!
because i am asian…i’m going with #4….(hint the sarcasm please)
David is suffering from what is commonly referred to as “the turtle effect.”
5 of course-I don’t know how you guys live with those things.
Interesting entry Dan.
He could be part Asian.
They’re like what? a millimeter?
HAHAH! I just wanted to see the ladies’ comments on this.
In a cold museum!
The artist made his package small so the focus would be on his body, and look at us now. It’s all we can look at!
In a cold museum! We’ll give him the benefit of the doubt!
He’s prepubescent.
I’d like to give poor David the benefit of the doubt & say that the museum must be terribly cold.
Dan, I’m disappointed. It hasn’t been that long and you’re putting up a repost? In a cold museum on display for everyone? It’s just shy.
2-5?
all of the above
i went to that museum last year and i clearly remember it being overly warm, so I’m going to go with semi bad angle/hopefully grows more than he shows?
3.
But, He’s funny, caring , and has a great personality…
It’s gotta be shrinkage. Poor, poor David.
people say funny things…
Well, to be honest, the entire sculpture has some sizing issues in it. Take a look at how huge his hands and feet are compared to the rest of his body, etc.
The sculpture is beautiful and revolutionary. Just not proportionately correct.
I would say 2 and 5.
He’s an incredibly small asian caught in a bad angle in a cold mueseum of average size.
@Dare2BDiferentt - He’s an incredibly small asian caught in a bad angle in a cold mueseum of average size.
I’m pretty sure David is Jewish. It’d be odd for a goy to lead the historic Kingdom of Israel.
@fading_roses19 - He could be part Asian.
They’re like what? a millimeter?
That’s a clit you’re talking about. Are you sexually confused?
@huginn - Hmm, you’re right.
Was Hitler part Asian? Asain/German would be quite a combo.
@Dare2BDiferentt - Was Hitler part Asian? Asain/German would be quite a combo.
We’d have to pick the best of both worlds. Replace Hitler’s crazy with the ideology of Mao, and we’d have the perfect little monster.
(Frankenstein v.2.00)
@huginn - That would make a cool movie, eh?
It is hard as a rock.
…wtf. Why did you put Asian?
So I’m guessing if he had a really big penis, you’d put “Black/African American” as one of the options?
It’s not the length of the wand but the magic it makes. Since he’s marble guess that doesn’t matter. ahem
None of the above… I read that the size of a limp penis makes no difference to its potential size when erect!
I mean. It is pretty cold in there, but.
3.
omg u did not just say asian. stop stereotyping.
I have actually been and seen David. It is one of the smallest pieces of junk on a man I have ever seen. It is one of the greatest works of art I have ever seen, but some one of the smallest packages also.
David is beautiful.
Cold. Then again, that doesn’t look normal at all…
LoL Fun answer: 5
Real answer: The culture back then was in favor of “small”. In fact in some of the societies it was thought laughable to be large. Most statues from that time period are small, because that was what the idea of good was back then.
With that said, maybe it’s a combination of asian (technically) and #5.lol
I vote for cold museum.
@saintvi - You’re awesome!
Look at the rest of him! He’s totally out of proportion on every other part of his body (which was intentional). Leave David and his cold little schling-schlong alone.
He is a girl
Classical and Renaissance statues were carved with small penises on purpose- large penises were considered monkey-like.
I’d say he’s in a cold museum
Seeing as Michelangelo believed that David was to be viewed from below, I would say that he is average sized if you look at him from the correct angle.
That is a beautiful man and his body as a whole is what’s suppose to be looked at but…..I think that is the ideal size for certain races.sorry, but it’s true.
I assume Michelangelo thought he was ‘just right’.
Maybe David took too many steroids.
I say average sized. It’s not erect…
he’s probably a go-er
Small because at that time in Greek culture a large penis was a sign of being unrefined and of low class.
5
did the great castration miss him?
Nah, it was just a fat chick taking the picture. The damn thing was trying to run for cover.
@makethemakersmile - LMAO ahahahhahahahaha LOLOLOLOL HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAH LOFIDSFODSF LOLO L ROFL … ah man that made my day
In most ancient cultures, even medieval Europe, large genitals were considered unattractive and a sign of a beastly nature. Refined, elegant men were more reserved.
@saintvi - LMFAOLMFAO<33
HAHAHA! I was looking at someone’s facebook picture of this the other day and I thought, “Isn’t his penis a little small?” So there’s my answer!
What a coincidence you posted this, haha.
i dont really know,
grower not a shower? also he is like 17 feet tall. Even being small for his size, he’s still packin.
Immature humor.
2. Not aroused enough to matter.
I can’t stop laughing.
6. Fitter than the average man.
Oh shit I thought this post was about me for a sec. I was about to be good and pissed.
My answer would be 6. Just got out of the pool.
its still massive. just small in compariso to his body.
he’s a twelve foot marble man with a “proportionally” tiny piece. I’ll bet david just really wanted a life size replica of his twanger put on to an enlarged stone man.
@saintvi - You thought I was bad!!!
never seen a penis until i saw david so im not entirely sure
@seedsower - Oh, honey – I always knew I was badder than you! lol
I always find it so immature when people judge a penis and the man by his flaccid penis. The size of the flaccid penis is barely an accurate indicator of its aroused size. Actually, a smaller flaccid penis is more likely than a larger flaccid penis to be “large” when aroused.
Really? Is a top blog on xanga (whatever that is worth) really going to spread racism on such a blatant scale without even a quiver of doubt? How can there be 170 odd comments and barely 3 of them even address the “absolutely hilarious connection between ‘asian’ men and small penises lol” which just screams of racial denigration?
I am insulted by your unthoughtful racism and would hope that others would have enough constitution to question someone with such apparent respect and following.
caught at a bad angle? your supposed to be seeing him from 3 stories down.
guh, and speaking of michelangelo, i just don’t think he can do nude females.
example a: San Lorenzo Chapel, Night
http://media-2.web.britannica.com/eb-media/81/2581-004-E8410678.jpg
example b: Sistine Chapel, Expulsion of Adam and Eve
http://www.reversespins.com/pics/expulsion.jpg
@shake_things_up - haha, good, because it sure pissed them off! if you saw their response…
2
I vote cold museum
unaroused you could never know the full potential.
i don’t know what to say because ..
at the time when david and others were made, the pope thought it was inappropriate and went around chizzling off their penis’, just saying i guess.
Ha. He’s an incredibly small Asian caught at a bad angle in a cold museum, of course.
His smeckle is just sort of there. I actually went to Florence, and had
the opportunity to see the original David. I found more interesting the
unfinished marble sculptures by Michelangelo Buonarroti much more interesting. (maybe cuz I’m not strictly dickly)
Whatever the case, apparently he had SOMETHING going for him because Bathsheba certainly didn’t refuse him …
Poor David.
Maybe he’s 6: The person sculpting him didn’t want to focus too much on his penis.
Actually, I believe David’s penis is small.
The reason? (long story, hold on to the ride) Back in the days of Greek dominance of the western world, there were two schools of thought on size. The longer and bigger it was, the more it was used humerous and entertaining situations (like jokes or something) The smaller it was, the more it was used in refined statues. So the greek statues were routinely shrunk by their sculptors so that they would be considered art.
What does that have to with David? David is heavily based on Greek statues since the Renaissance is based on a rebirth of Greek and Roman Learning.
Wikipedia or Google Image search ‘Kritos Boy’ and notice how it somewhat looks like David
Poor thing….I have known some guys with the same problem…so sad.
i thought it was to show that men during that time were considered beautiful as a whole and that their masculinity was in their body as a whole and not necessarily just their penis size
hahahahahahah ok, what a Q……………is cuse he is very old!!……………….. well no seriously during the Renaissance, when Christian diffidence gave way before ideals of classical beauty that was not that relevant, in our days unfortunatly few people knows about art sad but real all is about sex but if this is small check ………………One of the best known nude male images in the world. Michaelangelo’s Adam is portrayed with a baby’s penis presumably to indicate his innocence…………… any way what ever is the size not matter are michelangelo’s in a cold marbel
It’s actually bigger than average…no one takes in account how BIG the statue is… It’s average for his size, and flaccid besides.
#4 cracked me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@abcxunt - anyone wanna see a penis pumped up email me here for pics. demau_65@yahoo.com
Seems really small, but maybe it’d be larger if it was erect? I hear some guys have incredible size differences between the two states.
They Had Small penises In that time whee xD lol
No Offense to You David
You’re hot 
@trunthepaige - Haha! Very true!
3 & 5. It’s probably quite drafty in there, but still…tiny winky.
Sorry David. We still love you even if you have a small penis.
I do remember that museum being rather cold, but I bet it’s more to do with performance pressure. Thousands of complete strangers look at you naked in person every day. That’d make most people shrink a bit.
Not bad. But, not good either.
@jenessa1889 - ”male penis” XD
@femaleBASSPLAYER - hahaha oops lol major fail on my part
maybe michaelangelo’s wasn’t very big, so he was trying to make himself feel better
Dave… the statute was intended to celebrate the young shepherd boy who grew up to be a poet, a philosopher, a mighty warrior and a king chosen by God Himself. It was not intended to be sexual. No one even knows what David really looked like… much less how well-hung he was! It doesn’t matter. It’s a portrait of a boy on the verge of manhood and undying greatness. That’s what’s important.
What are you guys talking about? He’s HUGE!
H-U-G-E!!!
2&3
why asian? why not “theologian’s cafe’s”
I think he probably got cold at some point during the hours it took to pose for it