August 27, 2009
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Spanking for Bad Grades
Charges have been dropped against a father who was originally charged with child abuse.
The father hit his son with a belt as punishment for goofing off in school and getting bad grades. The belt left “raised welts on the child’s backside.” He was charged for felony child abuse before charges were dropped. Here is the link: Link
Is it appropriate to spank a child for bad grades?
Comments (118)
no
That’s a matter of opinion.
Not with a belt. Though in general I’m not against spanking.
No, but it’s appropraite to spank for the poor study habits that leads to bad grades. =)
Belts, though, are fucking overboard.
I don’t have a problem with parents spanking their children, except when they leave marks. If that left welts, it was way too hard. The reason is really irrelevant.
Though I will say that I’ve never hit Trev, off the Karate matt. He’s a good kid even though I haven’t. On the other hand I was spanked as a child and many say I turned out alright.
If it leaves marks, no. OMG I can’t believe what that judge said about getting your work done. Maybe I’m just a young person used to how things work now, because I know this form of punishment was common years ago and socially accepted…but I still think it’s terrible.
No. You should never hit a kid. instead you should waterboard them.
@xxquarterlifecrisisxx - Speaking as someone with a lot of experience with hitting and getting hit, it’s not usually the force with wich you hit someone that determins whether a mark is left. Especially when we are talking about temporary marks.
I would have to see the marks left before I ventured you kind of determination.
Of course not! That’s terrible!! >=O
Sure assuming no physical damage is done and the you are not willing to take over the job of being everyones parent.
Another asuption those welts could not have been much or they would not have dropped the charges
I wouldn’t do it for that, but I’m not going to start passing laws on family rearing. The state has not shown it has any idea how to do half as good a job.
there is a huge difference between spanking and child abuse… using a belt would fall under child abuse.
spanking with a belt?
why doesn’t he use his own hand instead. sheesh.
That’s how they did it in the old days, and we all turned out fine.
I’m not against spanking. But I don’t feel when you do spank your child you should do it with a belt, paddle, wooden spoon, etc. Its like using a weapon. Regardless of how hard you hit them.
Not for bad grades but for discipline I believe it’s ok to spank your child. I was spanked when I was a kid and when I got older my mother would get so frustrated I guess you could say it got a little abusive, slaps to the face and all, but I don’t think it’s wrong to spank a child. Sometimes kids feel like they can get away with anything if they’re not disciplined in the right manner. Frankly, I don’t think “Time Out” works forever. And threatening to spank a child but never doing it hardly works either. Should the method of discipline leave marks? Certainly not! But it should ‘knock some sense’ into them.
I’m not against spanking sometimes, but I never imagined grades to be a reason for that.
yes it’s perfectly fine.
@nidan - I understand that. I’m just saying. I work at a daycare, and we are required by law to turn in any marks left by a parent on a child as a potential case of child abuse.
the boy is only 8, hitting him with a belt is too harsh
@xxquarterlifecrisisxx - i agree.
xo
It depends on why they got bad grades, but I’d say probably not.
I was homeschooled . . . Never got graded on much, but always got on the 99th percentile on the end of year test.
@crazy2love -Um see my comment to @xxquarterlifecrisisxx about marks and how they work.
@xxquarterlifecrisisxx - As an instructor I’m required to do the same. But at the same time when it comes to putting me on the stand I’m going to tell the prosecuter off if s/he is out of line.
In my house a spanking is warrented when there is disobedience or dishonor….if the student was disobedient in school or was not showing proper honor to the teacher than yes, a spanking is warrented. I don’t spank with a belt though, that is a little rough for me. Spanking does leave marks but no welts, no mark should remain on the child’s bottom for more than a few minutes. Bruises and welts that remain are marks of abuse. I also think spanking should not be done in anger. You are not spanking because you are angry at your child for misbehaving, you are spanking to restore a right relationship of obedience and honor between you. It’s uncomfortable and I hate doing it, but it’s necessary to discipline your children and teach them obedience and honor.
i only use spanking as a last resort no matter what the offense, but then again I dont physically harm anyone, Im little and my kids dont suffer much from one of my spankings. It usually bruises their ego more that anything, I dont agree however for someone who is not the child’s parent to spank them, such as paddling in School.
This is why Asian kids do better in school. Asians parents are encouraged to maintain their child’s interest in education through spanking:)
No. But I would never class spanking of any kind as ‘appropriate’.
omg wow. they must be in some super strict northern area. Here in redneck hicktown children are spanked with belts all the time and nothing is done about it.
Personally, I am 100% against spanking. I can’t imagine why anyone would purposely physically hurt their children.
I think any form of an adult beating a child under 18 should be considered child abuse.
I just think that, when a kid is eight years old, it’s a little odd to still be using physical punishment upon them. They’re capable of comprehending verbal communication.
I can see giving a younger kid a swat on the behind when they’re being bad, as an immediate punishment to convey extreme displeasure over their actions, but … to hit an eight year old with a belt, and to leave visible welts? Hmm. In my eyes, that would be crossing the line. I wouldn’t apply such methods to my potential/future children.
@emberfly_layouts - Personally, I am 100% against spanking. I can’t imagine why anyone would purposely physically hurt their children.
It’s not to physically hurt, it’s to tingle those pain receptors. =)
@kidzandK9z - Ha.
I like how you put that “it bruises their ego” more than harms them, as that’s the way I remember my punishments being as a child. I was typically embarrassed, not injured.
Throw a brick at him instead
@davidmiya - Word. This is why kids are so soft these days. My dad beat my ass when I did poorly in school (which was all the time), but he was right to do it. I goofed off, fucked around and acted the fool.
In the end I graduated from HS with close to a 4.0 did well in the SAT and went onto a 4 year UC.
The moral of the story? Beat your kids ass when they fuck up.
@EgoOverdose - my point exactly , and I also find that the anxiety that they experience before the actual spanking, cuz I never spank while angry is very effective on helping them make the decision on whether or not to commit again
Hmmm….I won’t say that it’s appropriate but I got my behind whipped for bad gradeas and I learned to study harder!
didn’t have to use the belt
work that pimp slap!
Yes.
@Mr_Jin - haha, *high five* Mine is a similar story to yours, and now I’m in dental school:) I should thank my parents for spanking me because I’m pretty sure nothing else would have registered in my head. I had a few bruises, but nothing really injurious.
No, I consiter spanking a mild form of hitting. Really.
@davidmiya - That’s racist
Your race is not “superior”
Absolutely. I don’t see a problem with that. So he smacked his butt with the belt, so what? OMG, it left welts!! So freaking what? It’s not child abuse. It’s old-school approach. So as long as someone spanks their kids without leaving any marks, it’s fine? Come on! Just because there are no marks, doesn’t mean that it was less painful. It only means it was done with more skill.
@suplaura - Oh I wouldn’t say superior. We just get higher SAT scores.
the bible says “use the rod, beat the child” right?
No, it’s not appropriate.
@davidmiya - Your fucking ignorant.
Corporal punishment is the only way some kids learn
bring back the paddles!
@davidmiya - Hahahahaha. I think I love you..=D
If the bad grades were a result of the kid being a brat then absolutely. But no matter what they thought in the 1800′s, you can’t spank or exorcise the dyslexia out of anyone.
Use a plastic spoon.
Not if it raises WELTS. jesus christ.
wish more parents would be stricter and hold higher standards about grades. sometimes kids have to be reminded of what’s important (like working for the future) instead of fucking around and living in the present.
@suplaura - sounds like SOMEONE’S bitter
Why did you post this? Of course the camps would be divided.
I use to get hit with a belt for bad grades. But, I wasn’t hit on my back. It was either my hands or my butt.
Being grounded was a better punishment. Not because I wasn’t being hit or anything. But, I learned from my mistakes that way. So, I’m always getting that 4.0 on that report card :3
@Chinese_Sait0u - No I just hate how hes like “AHHHH AZN KIDS ARE SOOOOO SMART LALALALA PEACE SIGN”
xD
@Paul_Partisan - 0_0
If that is what they deserve then yes spank the butt, parents did it to us years ago with wooden spoons
Depends on the situation.
How was the kid “goofing off”? How bad were the grades?
However – I’d never resort to beating my kid with a belt.
my dad beat me even when i got good grades.
As a last resort maybe. But not with a belt. There are painless ways to pass a message..
@suplaura - you’re delusional. think about what you wrote, and why you interpreted his words as such (sounds like bitterness to me). did you fail the SAT reading comprehension section or something?
Whether it’s appropriate or not, leaving marks on a child is against the law. So regardless of whether people say it’s right or wrong, the law says it is. Maybe the father should look into WHY the child is getting bad grades….learning disability, too much TV or video games, lack of motivation? I don’t think a belt to the butt is really teaching this kid anything, but the fact is, leaving welts is against the law…there are other ways to punish a child without inflicting that kind of injury.
@Olyachka - I was going to recommend a cattle prod
@Chinese_Sait0u - Actually, no I didn’t. I’m one of the best in my class. That dosent mean I can’t swear or anything.
But I just don’t like how anyone is racist. Really. So it’s not okay for whites to be saying shit about anyone but its okay for anyone else to make fun of whites ? No its not okay in anyones sake.
It’s fine to spank your child but not to beat your child.
We all grew up with getting spanked when we were little and we all turned out just fine.
Yes, but it should not leave marks. The concept of a ‘spanking’ should involve fear and embarisment, not welts. Using is belt is not spanking… it is whipping…
I never got spanked for bad grades. Other things, but not bad grades.
@suplaura - But he didn’t say his race is superior. He said asian kids do better because their parents are strict and use spanking, that has nothing to do with claiming any kid of racial superiority and he didn’t make fun of anyone. His whole comment is debatable, but hardly racist. I am sure you’re smart, but you obviously went way off on his comment.
It depends why there are bad grades. If the kid was goofing off like he was in this article, that’s a discipline issue and deserves spanking, but certainly not with a belt. If the child is getting bad grades because he doesn’t understand the material, smacking him isn’t going to make him understand it. There are after school classes for that, or tutoring. If you have the time to be with your child, help them with homework.
@suplaura - i said nothing about swearing (here we go again with your delusion, making up stuff about things someone didn’t say). hell, i don’t give a fuck about your language usage, as long as it’s clear and coherant, and coupled with effective comprehension skills.
now let’s put all this back into context. all he said was, asian kids tend to get beaten more, and as a result, work harder, and finally, get better SAT scores (lolwtflmao like that determines your whole life). you’re saying that’s racist against white people…how? “omg mommy, little ching chong works so much harder than me and gets better grades. however, he’s got welts on his palms from something, i dunno what. who cares though, he’s doing better than me and proud of getting the high score on our last test. that’s racist!”
sorry, maybe you ARE smart, but i utterly despise it when people throw the racism accusation around.
Yes.
Is hitting someone who’s smaller and weaker than you acceptable in any circumstance? Why, when it’s your own child, should it suddenly be ok? Discipline, yes; punishment, yes; physically hurting a child, no. If i hit my boyfriend–who’s bigger and stronger and taller than i am–with a belt, he could call the cops on me, regardless of what i thought he did to deserve it. I don’t see why it would be ok to hit a kid who is smaller, weaker, and essentially defenseless.
I don’t think the state should have much say in the way people raise their children. Honestly, what do they know about our individual families anyway? I just wish people had morals on their own. I wish we didn’t have to be afraid of what the court system might do; i wish we would all think about the effects of our own actions, especially on our children.
@BebstersBlog2 - Me too!
How about when theologians are naughty? Should they be spanked? And what about the question of the bottom being bare or not, which must be solved for both the spankee and the spankstress?
@petitenoirtenue - I agree.
Well, I bet he won’t get bad grades anymore.
@NikBv - I didn’t!
No spanking… This kinda shit gave me mental health problem galore.
When it leaves marks then it’s overboard. But I dont see a problem with spanking and if the kid was goofing around then its up to the parent whether or not they deserve the spanking.
heck yes, unless they are of genuinely low intelligence and can’t get good grades or something.
heh.
it worked for my parents
A spanking and not a beating and there is a difference.
I personally think spanking is stupid and unhelpful. I was spanked, like most Americans, and sure, “I turned out fine,” like everyone else tends to say. However, spanking didn’t teach me to stop my bad behavior–it taught me how to lie better and blame things on my sisters. I am now a world-class liar when I want to be. There are better ways. Parents should pay attention to their kids when they’re being good, and REWARD them when they’re good, not punish them when they’re bad. In elementary school, my parents gave me a five dollar bill if I got straight A’s. That made me create great study habits. They stopped “paying” me when I got to Jr. High, but I kept getting A’s because I couldn’t see myself doing schoolwork any other way.
And I know someone is going to call me out for not having kids or personal experience, but I’ve taken many parenting and family classes as part of my major in college. I also helped raise my two youngest sisters. I sometimes think that everyone should be required to take Childhood Behavior Management classes before having a child.
Yeah, but not that friggin hard. Besides, what does violence promote except violence? Sitting the kid down and making him do his homework would have been a lot more helpful.
No.. tutors have a reason, ya know. Parents fault, IMO.. if your child is struggling, you should be the first to notice.
My mom spanked my ass so hard she broke a hickery ruler. (Of course I had it coming).
Belts, rulers and switches may be old school, but they’ve always been a part of corporal punnishment. What’s new is the weak, whining, sissy-ness of the modern American that can’t handle any correction whatsoever. We used to kill Nazis and Commies… now we cry when one dad tries to straighten out his screw-off kid. In just a few generations we’ve become a nation of whimps.
i got spanked as a kid, not with a belt though. more of stick
HAHA…this isn’t even a news in Asia.
I think some force is necessary to raise a good child. If they were good child in the first place, there wouldn’t be need to do anything, but not every child is an angel:P
spanking, whatever, but belts are too much. There are other ways to punish for bad grades. I don’t think you need to use physical punishment on that.
i’d say yes if the child is under 12. over twelve, you need to get their attention.
I got the shit beat out of me as a kid for grades, and I turned out fine. I think.
I got hit with all sorts of household items when I was a kid…I don’t think I would go the extreme like my parents did…but it did set me straight. I think I turned out okay
That’s not spanking. It’s outright violence against a child.
A parent is responsible for their kids. If you see your kids watching tv instead of studying then you are partly to blame, turn off the tv and tell them to study, dedicate an hour a night for homework or studying. Do not walk by your kid who is watching tv then spank him the next day for making bad grades, it is your responsibility to train them to have great study skills
I don’t think I would for grades, but I think if my child was acting up enough and verbal was just NOT working, I would not be against a butt paddling. my mom had one, and it left a red mark, but it barely hurt. it was more knowing your parents were mad enough to hit you that hurt. i think america is going overboard with this shit. kids are literally getting away with murder now-a-days and “talking” to them isn’t obviously solving anything.
and obviously, he must have only smacked his butt once, or not very hard, because all there was, was some welts? boo-hoo. maybe, if they created some new “parenting” classes that teach us how to mentally manipulate our children better, we wouldn’t have to smack their tooshes to get them to behave.
sure! that’s how all the asian parents do it.
I’ve always been against the belt, but not spanking. I was spanked as a child and I grew up a fucking angel. If a child is going to be spanked for bad grades, those bad grades better be a reflection of laziness and NEVER because they cannot understand the material.
Did you know in LEGO LAND the teachers are allowed to hit the students for everything!!!!????? I swear, I saw it with my own non-LEGO eyes.
For example: a student shows up to school late = 5 smacks with a wooden baton, sometimes on the feet, sometimes the hands, sometimes the back of the thigh…
A WOODEN BATON…not a belt…a belt may leave welts, but a wooden baton has some weight to it…
I understand that some people may argue a good slapping around may help…but…I think that is an ugly argument. NO NEED FOR UGLINESS!!! Because, I don’t think any child grows up, and says, when they are an adult, “you know, Dad (or my teacher or Mom or my pastor) really taught me a lesson by beating me with a belt.”
A punishment is one thing…but it must be a CONSTRUCTIVE punishment. Make the child do an ungodly annoying chore…like clean the bathroom or clean the car or run 2 miles in under 20 minutes…HOWEVER, you (or the person punishing the child) has to do it with the child (culprit!! Haha just kidding)
Better to lead by example than the old, tired, worn out “Do as I say, not as I do.”
You can go suck my strawberry………………..
i was spanked with a belt and pattle. did they leave welts, i don’t know really but even so i don’t think it’s child abuse. a bit extreme, debatable, but i think under the circumstances, it’s acceptable. though he’s 8, his dad feels the need to correct the wrong and fix a forming bad habit. i hate when parents blame others for their children’s short comings. i see the father as performing his role as a strong figure head and role model, molding his son into an acceptable person of society. my dad was spanked i was spanked. we’re all ok, and i respect my dad and his rules. a lot of kids are rebelious and parents are pushovers.
A fully grown man beat an 8 year old child with a foreign object. The kid was goofing off in school? Well, apparently he wasn’t being disciplined in the first place, and I doubt this was the first time this method of punishment (er…discipline?) was used in the home, so that makes it ineffective.
It literally boils my blood that this man was allowed to walk free. Had he hit his wife, he would be in jail. A defenseless kid? Nothing. There are no words.
I have never met a child yet who wanted to get bad grades. Bad grades are usually the result of poor teaching, or poor study skills, or simply lack of some basic foundation in the subject that makes it hard for a child to keep up. I don’t see how the application of pain in this case is going to help anything. I don’t spank the children I have custody of and I never have. I believe they are doing their very best and if they are not grasping a subject they need help figuring out how to do better. We would tackle the issue by talking and seeking options for improvement. Contrary to what some people believe I think children want to do well and sometimes when they can’t figure out how to do well they will begin to misbehave to cover their embarrassment.
For good reason and for good intention, yes i would use spanking as a form of discipline. But with just bad grades… jeez, come on, what was the kid’s father’s grade in school anyway? if he himself was not good in school he should blame himself [or spank himself], it’s in his genes.
That depends on numerous things. For instance: Did the father make his son study or did he joke around all school year with his son?
Spanking is OK if all other methods have failed. Never in such manner though as to leave injury. Perhaps the father should have been more active in seeing if homework was completed daily.
No?
Those that are opposed to spankings as disciplinary measures and punishment are often the very same people with the least amount of discipline in their lives.
Without discipline you fail at many things, including being a good parent.
If you want an emotionally fucked up kid that gets good grades, go ahead.
Hitting kids is the neanderthal’s solution to a problem. “It’s not how I want it to be, better hit it.”
To any intelligent, well informed, evolved human being, it is a last option.
Personally I dont’ see the difference between belts/objects and hands. I’d prefer an object rather than someone touching my ass thanks. As for marks…as long as they aren’t permanent…really, it’s a better reminder not to screw up than to just move on right away. There’s not a whole lot of damage you can do to a kids ass…although if it crosses the line to infection that’s pretty gross and i’d be against that.
I don’t care what the spanking was for, if it raised welts, he went too far.
I think it’s wrong to spank a kid with a belt, leaving him welts.
What was the judge thinking?
Frankly, you don’t have to put up with this man’s kid, it’s not your decision whether it is right or fair. Mama beat the hell out of my ass with a belt, and I am none the worse for wear. Last time she spanked me I was 17, it left welts from the backs of my knees to the middle of my back (overkill, I know.) but honestly, I deserved it and I turned out well. I totally agree with spanking HOWEVER, it should not be done IN ANGER, but after the parent has cooled down and has their own emotions in check.
no im not against it but only for discplen
A lot of people against spanking on here are children themselves. I remember when I was a child I was against it of course. Now that I’m older, I can see why it is used.
Personally, I don’t approve of using instruments for spanking a child. That can result not only in great pain, but physical injury. When, additionally, adult anger is involved, that takes a corrective spanking into the realm of beating… which is dangerous and morally wrong besides. Additionally, it’s counterproductive. As to spanking: When a child displays a pattern of unacceptable behavior that lecturing and other punishments fail to correct, something has to be done for the child’s own good. A few sharp swats to the bottom, delivered dispassionately by a loving and dutiful parent, can do wonders in gaining the child’s attention and re-enforcing the reality of parental authority. A few tears when young can prevent untold misery in later life.
I never understood why parents punished their kids for bad grades in the first place. I always got good grades (except that time in the 6th grade), math was my worst subject. If your kid isnt doing too well, talk to him about his study habits or something. This punishment was over the top and I personally would never spank my kids.
Wish I got an ass whooping for getting bad grades. Might be off at college instead of in the Army
The same method of discipline (beatings with a leather belt in underwear) was used on me as a child for the same reason – bad grades. It did nothing to improve my grades. That came later from changes I made as I got older and I learned on my own how to deal with ADHD. The ‘beatings’ with a belt teach fear, aggression, diminish self esteem and other negative issues. There are other ways to discipline a child without BEATING him – it is abuse.
Sorry, I don’t know what eProps are.