September 12, 2009
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10 Reasons He May Not Ask You Out Again
I was just reading an article that discussed the main reasons guys didn’t call for a second date.
1. We’re shy/intimidated. Guys are intimidated by you.
2. You didn’t offer to pay. Some guys want the woman to at least offer to pay.
3. There’s no physical attraction. The guy is just not attracted to you.
4. Talking too much about yourself. You just talk too much.
5. Talking about ex-boyfriends. You talk about your ex.
6. Cell phone shenanigans. You are on the phone the whole date or you are texting.
7. Vulgarity. You curse or you burp.
8. Blatant pre-date lies. You had to correct all the lies you told before the date.
9. You missed his signals. He was sending signals but you missed them.
10. He met someone else. He found someone else.
Here is the link: Link
What do you think has been the biggest factor in you not getting second dates?
Comments (100)
I’d probably be guilty of…
talking about my ex, texting, cursing (eh maybe), or missing signals..
Is this newly discovered information? By ‘newly’ of course I mean discovered three decades ago.
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you forgot wheelchairs.
Hehe. How about “You didn’t put out”?????
11. He is married with a dozen kids.
@Paul_Partisan - lmao
whoa, since when did you get a little related posts thing? i thought only ish sites got those.
oh my god… theo, did they turn you into an ish? MAYHEM!
To be honest, I don’t really care.
@Paul_Partisan - HAHA!!
Oh… and someone needs to get alwefak out of here. I blocked ‘em a few minutes ago.
how about, “he’s just NOT that into you” my thing was i didn’t offer to pay. i usually dont…
insists on condom
Soemtimes there’s no second date because there’s no chemistry. Nothing wrong with that.
Probably my biggest factor is the fact that I’ve been married for freakin’ ever. Before that, though, I was always the one who didn’t want a second date.
Not big enough boobs?
The biggest factor is that I have a boyfriend. Most other guys don’t really like that, you know? ;D
My most common offense is usually missing the signals. I admit to lying, too *blushes and bows head in shame* I’ve also been known to talk a lot or fidget when I’m nervous. I don’t necessarily talk about myself a lot… but I will kind of have verbal diarrhea.
And I belch. And I haven’t offered to pay. I usually just get out the wallet assuming that I would pay, but I’m used to having guy friends that will pick up the tab. I know that when I’m with them, I’m not paying… so it honestly never occurs to me to offer. That’s a shame, isn’t it?
Dude, I think I relate to at least half of that list! sheesh, I’m never gonna find a man based on that.
Why are guys intimidated to ask a girl out? I just wondered.
Typically I don’t call back if there’s no connection, or they just bore me.
The first one. Guys always tell me that I am intimidating at first. I don’t get how that is possible, to be honest.
Girls don’t need to pay for dinner, because they usually buy other stuff for their man.
Back when I was single. Me not wanting a second date . . that was the only time it ever happened.
I did not go out with guys I did not like and I did not like guys who did not like me.
what if its cause i’m black
@Paul_Partisan - C’mon P._P., Would you want a second date after you got past having to respect them? (I say nothing about the booty call)
@laurasaurusrex - like what?
no chemistry no second date.
Hmm, Guys are icky. who cares.
I suppose it could be any of those reasons but I’ve had second even fifth dates. I think dating is easy breezy, commitment is not so much.
Not getting a first date.
i like how blunt this is. there’s no “secret ways”, it’s just straight up how it is.
Oh, this is an easy one!
The biggest factor in my not getting second dates is… my never having had a first date.
Haha. I don’t date. But this is really interesting!
@pawnshop_heart - I’ve also been told I’m pretty intimidating, and I’ve also yet to fully understand that.
Not getting first ones. lol
I’m usually the one who turns people down for a second date, mostly because someone didn’t really grab my attention, or was too clingy right off the bat. Meh.
i think it would be the absense of the requisite first date.
now, on the list of turnoffs, i would say cursing is high(the burping doesnt bother me.) as would be lies, selfcenteredness and obsessions with exes.
@LilSweetJew - im icky?… ok, i am, but i know you still care.
How about getting drunk on the first date? I do that a lot.
@ionekoa - you’re not icky. at least not always.
I always get seconds, haha.
They don’t call me back because we never went out for the first time. Something tells me Hubby would take issue with my dating again…
Those cell phone shenanigans are a big no no! Very distracting.
I definatley miss signals. I’m totally oblivious to flirting.
When I first had a thing for my current boyfriend, I had to straight-up ask him “hey, are you flirting with me?”
It was awkward. But I guess it worked out eventually.
RE: “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” Some brands of lingerie have sizes up to 5x. Proof that love truly is blind.
#12 – Because you acted totally neurotic the first date. “Would you like to get married? I loooove children! I think I’d like to have at least 6.”
Not getting the first date?
Reading your comments, I see that one’s been done. Ah, well!
Kathi
#1
b/p
=[
1, 3, and 9.
@laurasaurusrex - sounds like someone’s not going on any second dates
It only happened once to me and I think we just did not have anything in common, I purely asked him out for his looks alone and he wasn’t into that or maybe he was intimidated by that, some guys that are really good looking just cant see it! His loss!
@Dare2BDiferentt - sloppy seconds? LOL
@nattata - so sorry, but dont wait on em, go get em!
I DON’T SEND SIGNALS.
I JUST TELL WOMEN WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT IT.
What is is with women looking too much into things?
If I don’t want a woman, I’ll just say so. I’d rather be direct about it.
And not using fluffy words, but at the same time, not beating around the bush.
But, depending on if our friend circles cross over or not, I’d still be willing to not be a faggot about hanging out with her like most girls arent.
eesh, i’d probly miss signals. lol
@Chinese_Sait0u - Whatever, I’m just saying. -.-
I haven’t been asked out. Well, maybe I was…I’d be guilty of not noticing signals. I think I’ve been asked out and I just don’t realize it… T.T
another reason why I wont ask her out again:
She already said no.@Manstration - nice one.
@laurasaurusrex - good luck finding an idiot so enamored you drain him of his money. lol.
@Queen_of_You188 - no, those weren’t REAL men
REAL men, ask you out, and you’ll know it. theres no such thing as “signals” with a REAL man.
I’ve never been turned down because i’ve always been the one being asked out, and i don’t accept many first dates to begin with. So i’ve never been turned down, but the reasons i have turned other people down were
1. You called me multiple times a day asking about our next date. Even my mom doesn’t call me that much.
2. I’m trying to have a conversation with you, and you’re staring at me like a creepy stalker. Dude, you already got the date, you don’t have to lurk anymore. I’m asking you all about yourself, all you have to do is answer!
3. After our first date you came into my workplace and rented a dirty movie. From me. I mean, i assumed that you jack off, but do you really think it’s a good idea to advertise?
4. I mentioned on our first date what neighborhood i lived in, so then you decided to walk around my neighborhood looking for my apartment. And then you told me about it. Hey genius, if i didn’t give you my address, you’re not invited.
And my personal favorite:
5. You whined about me to my best friend.
Just curious, why did you repeat yourself repeat yourself?
@Queen_of_You188 - Yeah, if you didn’t realize you were being asked out, that’s a pretty good sign you’re not noticing signals. I think i’ve done the same thing too…
@Gerald_Washington - LOL if he’s that blatant about asking me out, that might deter me a bit.
@FluffyTheRedOne - oh yeah…I’m horrible at noticing signals. I’m as dense as lead.
no chemistry
@Queen_of_You188 - then I guess you want a boy and not a man.
but thats okay, we all have our preferences.
@Queen_of_You188 - Some people are. That’s why i don’t send “signals.” If i want you, you’ll know about it.
@Chinese_Sait0u - Good luck being an asswipe.
well i have belched the odd time
@laurasaurusrex - i don’t think all of the luck in the world can make me an asswipe.
@Chinese_Sait0u - I do
@Gerald_Washington - I just don’t want someone too blatant. I don’t want a boy. DX
@FluffyTheRedOne - I get confused easily. I don’t send signals because I figure they’d get confused too.
5. and 8.
5. One mention of the ex is enough to do it for me. Don’t waste my time.
8. If the girl is lieing already, she’s a piece of crap AND she doesn’t respect you. Guys, she’s not lieing for your sake. She’s lieing for hers. If she thought you were man enough to hear the truth, she’d tell you. But if she doesn’t, forget her.
#1 T_T
@moritheil - You are intimidating. And if you should ever respond to this, I’m 90% sure it’s going to intimidate me with your mind or your personality (I’m not sure which one intimidates me more right now). :
Interesting article. I don’t date. But still, as for me, they should be more concern if I would pick up their phone call for a second date or not. I think it is a two way street when it comes to the dating arena.
If I ever have to date again I think I’ll try women. Guys are F***ed. Who cares anyway why they don’t ask you out again? All I know is that you’re probably better off if they don’t.
@Queen_of_You188 - You know you can be direct without being rude, right?
@mangotini - thats because its the girls job to do the accepting, and guys job to do the begging. thats the double standard.
@smile4leena -
@New_Leaf - either love is blind, or marketers don’t discriminate., because money is always green.
I love your little explanations at the end. Quite pleasingly redundant.
I am guilty of everything.. simultaneously.
Never been on a real date…. =P
Or maybe he’s just not that into you… =]
That fact that you had to explain all of the reasons is very funny to me. I guess we ladies can be dense/in denial at times =P
@laurasaurusrex - asswipes are guys who you will end up with. look it up in the dictionary sometime.
what? I never had to worry about such things. I’ve always called the shots
Missing signals
And difference of religions. I went out on a date with a guy who was interested me, but I wasnt Muslim and he wanted to date someone with the same religious beliefs.
Talking about an ex. But I don’t really mind if he doesn’t ask for a second date. I’d just like to believe that it’s not my loss.
i don’t feel i should pay on the first date or even offer. if we’re friends already then yeah, but i see the guy representing his ability to take care of me. i don’t mean financially, so to speak, but i’ve always been raised to believe that the man is the head of the house hold and his word goes. if we’re happily married or further along in dating, then yes, i’ll pay from time to time, but not the first date.
@laurasaurusrex - i agree. why would i pay for dinner?
The only two dates I’ve been asked on(all the boys in my town are redneck hicks or goths that don’t have my views:P) I’ve turned down.
Their embarrasment….poor boys…one of them had food on his chin and he was no wher near food:P
P.S.
I don’t swear, I burp very rarely and never in front other people. I don’t text either…so:P
If he doesn’t nail down plans to see you again before he leaves he is not going to call. Girls do you want every man you date to call again I think not. Same goes with guys. I have often wondered why they say I will call you. a simple thanks for your time would be better I think.
Hm all of these are understandable except for No 2. Bump that feminism stuff; on a first date the guy pays. Some things should remain sacrosanct.
I am probably a huge misser of signals and I try to conduct myself with class so I’d say that reasons 1, 3, 9 and 10 probably all happen with me. A lot of times guys seem to like me OK… but just not enough. Sometimes I am not motivated to accept further dates. There’s a whole lt of of Meh out there.
5, 6, 8 and 9. How about the other way around? What makes girls not want to ask a guy out ?
@Gerald_Washington - I know, it’s just that most direct guys that I know are very rude about it.
That I didn’t call them back.
11. No intellectual content.
12. Too obsessed with being seen/being trendy.
Needless to say hipsters are on my shit list.
not getting first dates
#1 reason why he didn’t call back
- she is not a she
Well for girls not getting a second date with me, it would most likely be, they seem to normal.
For me not getting a second date, well I haven’t ran into that situation so I don’t know.
-Alexander the Zounderkite
2..
First Date Man Pays.
Number 1. But all of them are pretty good.
There probably just wasn’t a “click”. Also, it probably wouldn’t just be one of those 10 things, it’d probably be a mixture of a few of them.
I think guys tend to expect me to be under 100 lbs, and when I’m not… le sigh
With non-Asians it’s never an issue, but with Asians, they expect a certain size lol