March 19, 2010
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Pregnant
I am willing to bet that most people will answer this question in one way even though so many would do something different.
It is interested how many times over the last 20-25 years I have seen a woman get pregnant and then watching the couple get quickly married. For example, my brother’s girlfriend became pregnant and they quickly got married. I doubt my brother would have married her if she was not pregnant.
So you see people getting married because the woman was pregnant. I remember my parents taught me that I should wait until marriage. But my parents also communicated that if I got a woman pregnant, I should do the honorable thing and get married.
Guys: Would you be more likely to marry a woman if she became pregnant?
Ladies: Would you be more likely to get married if you were pregnant?
Comments (159)
Honestly? No. I think that’s the wrong reason to get married right away.
Maybe… I wouldn’t count on making that mistake anyway.
No. Before I married my husband, I told him that if I were to get pregnant, he could NOT propose until after that child was born. Children are not supposed to be the reason to get married. I want to be married for love.
No, because of my views on marriage. I think you can have a completely stable relationship without a piece of paper. We would probably change other things in our relationship though… we would become more routine. Not necessarily in a bad way.
Nope.
I’d like to say no, but I think if I was unmarried and pregnant and the opportunity presented itself, I probably would. If I slept with the guy it would have been for love, so I would think that part is already there. What about you?
No. I’d be married first. I hate seeing couples “pushed together” because of a baby. You can be effective coparents without marriage. I’d rather see that than a marriage doomed from the start because it was only sex & listening to others, they got married to do the right thing & everyone is unhappy.
If I got a proposal, most definitely. I have never been one to say no or turn someone down in an awkward situation. That would be awkward. But if there was no proposal, I wouldn’t be asking for one.
honestly, that’s way too much stress. i’ll get married when im ready to get married. if i got pregnant, i would like to marry the dad but not right away.
depends honestly..i’m glad i didnt marry my daughters dad
I am not sure. A lot of it would depend on the guy who got me pregnant.
I think if I got pregnant I would put the baby up for adoption anyway, so perhaps it’s irrelevant.
I’d let the mailman marry her. After all, it’s probably his child anyway…
Depends on who it is.
Marriage is a human construct.
At my age, I’d just laugh and get a second opinion.
The honorable thing for a guy to do is take care of his kid not get married.
I can’t see myself rushing into a marriage because my girlfriend got pregnant. Then again I have trouble seeing myself getting into that situation in the first place.
Nope. I’m the reason my parents got married, and though I love them both, they never should have stayed together. All it caused was a whole lot of pain (although not everything was bad…my sister came to be. =]). If I’m marrying, it’s out of love, not fear.
Depends I’d try to not think about the kid for just a sec and see is this someone I’d spend my life with if not then no. I wouldn’t just marry cause I was pregnant
no. i’m not likely to get married regardless.
Many years ago, I thought long on this question, and determined that I would not marry a guy just because I was pregnant. My sister did get married, and divorced the guy after a few years. She married and divorced two more times before getting it right in a fourth marriage. I blamed that on getting pregnant at 17. I waited until I was 28 to get married, and 35 to get pregnant.
i was engaged before i got pregnant. i got engaged in 07. i was planning the wedding for 2009. i got pregnant at the beginning of 08 and got married march 09. i didn’t plan a wedding…a baby is enough stress lol. we just went to the courthouse =D i wouldn’t get married just because i’m pregnant though.
NOT going to happen.
I’m not sure. I’m very susceptible to the idea of “doing the right thing”, so I’d at the very least be seriously tempted to marry him quickly after getting pregnant. Not being in that situation, I can see how that would be bad motivation for marrying someone. Not like it’s going to fix everything.
I’ve always seen babies as a blessing, regardless of the circumstances of conception. A person’s a person and all that.
I also agree with@impossibleangles - I would definitely already have love for the guy.
I am glad I did not have to make a decision like this. We waited until marriage to have sex.
@lunar_hue - Well said and a perspective I did not have before.
~V
Every situation is different. I couldn’t answer that question unless I was really faced with it, I think. I’m not planning on having sex before I’m married, and I’m not planning on getting married. So I guess I won’t ever have to deal with it. :p
I probably wouldn’t make the mistake in the first place, but I would try and do the honourable thing.
I doubt it, and I’ve had this conversation before. It all depends on who would hypothetically get me prego, and whether or not I’d marry them anyway.
Guys: Would you be more likely to marry a woman if she became pregnant?
No? Maybe if I was the one who got her pregnant.. otherwise, hell no.
I’m waiting, but suspending that, I’d first find out if it is my child, and if it is then yes.
I am not dumb enough to put myself into that kind of situation.
No. That’s dumb. That’s why the divorce rate is RIDICULOUS!
I’ll be honest: if I ever got pregnant and wanted to or was being pressured into keeping the baby then I’d push for marriage. I believe a single mother can do it but I think it would be easier if I had someone to help support me.
If the guy didn’t want to get married then there would be the decision of whether or not to keep the child. It’s just a personal thing but I very much do not want to be a single mother.
I wanted to marry my baby daddy when I got pregnant. Now Im SO glad I wasn’t that idiotic.
I think early pregnancy with all the hormones all screwed up is a bad time for a woman to be making big decisions. I would encourage my daughters to wait to make such a big choice until their hormones had stabilized at the very least.
More likely to? Sure, if I was in a relationship with the guy already. That’s not a yes, just that I’d be more likely to. If it was just a fling? No way. I was really upset that I got pregnant 3 months before my wedding, I feel like it gave many people the wrong impression even though we’d been planning our wedding for over a year.
I’m saving sex for marriage, so I’ll never have to seriously ask myself that question.
That aside, I can see both sides of the issue. On the one hand, they should get married so the kid can have a dad, but on the other hand, if the guy is a jerk then chances are the kid is better off without him. So I guess it would depend on the guy. Which brings us to the question of why have a relationship with someone you aren’t going to marry/someone who’s a jerk.
And then there’s always the option of giving the child up for adoption.
No. I never want kids, so if I ever find myself to be pregnant, which isn’t likely, I’m having an abortion.
Well, I’m pretty sure I would never be in this situation… but IF it were to happen, I’m not sure what I would do.
I know I would be inclined to get married AND quickly, in hopes of being able to cover-up my pregnancy and make it look like it happened after I got married (let’s just say, almost everyone important in my life would be very disappointed in me if I got pregnant out of wedlock).
But… it would also totally depend on the guy. I know the last guy I liked wouldn’t be anywhere near ready for marriage, so it would be unwise. BUT, the guy I currently am interested in is well established, so it’s more feasible.
I don’t know, it’s complicated.
When I got pregnant with my daughter I told my then boyfriend to definitely NOT purpose while I was pregnant. I said the last thing I wanted was to get engaged just because he got me pregnant.
He ended up purposing when my daughter was 3 months, but it quickly ended after that, so thank god we hadnt gotten married or even been engaged long enough for that to happen.
No because getting married out of obligation is not good enough.
Depends, but probably not.
A better question; would I date her? lol
When I got pregnant with my first daughter, I did not love the father. At all. He had always been more of a friend with benefits in my eyes. [What? Guys can have that but women can't?] So when people started tossing around words like marriage, I freaked the fuck out. I was NOT about to marry a man just because I happened to be pregnant with his baby. No fucking way. I met my husband shortly after I found out I was pregnant. He was somewhat of a mutual friend in the situation. [Draw whatever conclusion from it that you like, but the truth is you can not help when love finds you.] I married my husband just a few weeks before I gave birth to my daughter. We may not have married for the right reasons [he was Active Duty and I could only go with him to his next duty station if we were married] but we knew we were in love. So yeah we rushed it a little, but we have been married 5 years now and have another daughter together, and he has always treated my oldest daughter as his own. The best decision I ever made was to NOT marry the man that got me pregnant, because it gave me the room to find the man that I truly love.
No way! It’d be like a double negative. If you’re already stuck with a baby why in the hell would you stick yourself with a man that you might not really want to spend the rest of your life with? I’ve had friends in that situation and I can understand that the idea of raising a child alone can be scary, but I’d rather do it alone then do it with the wrong person. Of course it definitely depends on the situation, but that’s how I feel about it anyway.
I heard that divorce rate for people who marry young is higher than average because of this and if you take out the couples who get married when the girl is pregnant then the divorce rate is no higher than the rest of the age range.
No way. You don’t need to be married to take care of a kid.
Maybe to get his health insurance…
No.
I am a teen mom and I did not marry the father even after dating for 2 years. I felt like it wouldn’t be fair to my daughter to marry someone who i didnt feel like i deserved to be with. i want her to know what true love is – not fake.
It really depends on what the plans were in the first place. Newly dating? No way. Dating for a decent amount of time (6+ months)? Definitely consider it.
I wouldn’t have the kid/wouldn’t get pregnant.
I plan on remaining a virgin until I get married, so no worries there.
Good question. No, not right off the bat. If I wasnt inlove and committed to an emotionally healthy man, then no.
Been there, done that, didn’t get hitched.
I’m not having sex until I am married, so there’s no issue with me.
I’m pregnant, but we got married almost three years ago…. I married first!!
Nope, no difference for me. My husband and I planned our first child while unmarried, had our first child while unmarried, bought a house together while unmarried, planned our second child while unmarried and as we wanted our 2nd to be our last, got legally married when I was around 6 months pregnant and locked into medicade for the remainer of pregnancy. Staying unmarried was a financial move for us. It legally enabled me to access gov health insurance and be able to afford expensive pregnancy and delivery. Once that need had ended we got married. At that point the legal and personal benifits for being married outweighed staying unmarried. We were engaged for over 5 years and togther for exactly 6.5 years before legally getting married. I don’t see anything weird, wrong, or unusual about that. We did things in the most logical, comfortable, manner. I had no qualm in telling people I was not legally married while pregnant. Anyone who judges others in this matter without knowledge of the situation, is overstepping. Believe it or not marriage is a personal matter above any religous or social regulations.
All this being said, hypothetically, if I had an oops pregnancy with a man who would be less than the ideal partner I would not marry him based on pregnancy. Giving something full effort for the sake of a child is great but forcing a negative coupling is not ideal for the child. Co-parenting seperated would make more sense than living unsatisfied or unhappy with an innocent child in the middle of it.
Nope. Baby does not equal lasting romantic relationship. It does equal civil relationship and perhaps friendship, and may be a romantic relationship, but is never a REASON to get married.
If I get pregnant before getting married… my parents would disown me.. so I am hoping the baby-daddy would be kind enough to take me in.. and do the honorable thing and marry me… Actually I am hoping this scenario never happens…hehehe!!
I wouldn’t marry for a child. Then, if life went by miserably, then the child would blame himself/herself for my misery…and for those who would say the child doesn’t have to know that’s why you got married…it’s not something you can hide forever.
If I had caused a pregnancy, it would have been because I was heavy into the woman. Marriage would have followed, for sure.
If it felt like the right thing to do, I probably would.. but I don’t see anything wrong with having a baby and not being married. Why rush things or force them if they aren’t right? That’s just asking for trouble down the line.
Neither. Because my parents would kill me before i could make that decision. lol.
I wouldn’t get married just because I was pregnant. I’d be more afraid
I was getting married because I was pregnant versus knowing that I want
to spend the rest of my life with that person. I want to minimize my chances of a divorce as much as possible. Not being pushed into a marriage just because I’m pregnant seems like a good way to help lower that chance.
well im pretty sure im not gonna be pregnant when i im not married but if i did i would actually not get married because i dont want to get married just because im pregnant
i wouldn’t accidentally have a kid with anyone i didnt see myself with in the future.
I love that all of these people are saying no. I would have said no as well except, I got knocked up and felt like I was letting my child down because I wasn’t married. We got married two weeks later. Horrible decision but it is what it is
I would have to go with no,seeing as how I did get pregnant and I’m not married. I’m still with the father and we are on our way to being married but it took us five years to get to this point. I think it’s stupid when people get married because of pregnancy,you can still be together and be a happy family without all of the pressure.
@She_Writes_Fictions - I understand your situation very well,the father of my son was also a friends with benifits. We ended up giving it a try,and here we are five years later. It’s been a very hard road to travel because we had to build a relationship around a pregnancy.At first I did not even want to be with him after I found out I was pregnant. But now we love eachother and are planning to get married and have more kids together,I believe everything happends for a reason though. But I’m glad you found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with and didn’t settle for the guy who got you pregnant.
Baby or not, I don’t plan on getting married at all. The only way I would is if it would make her that much more happy, but I would rather not. Why do people need to get married to show their love? What’s the difference between being a couple forever or being married forever? Over $10000 sounds about right.
Yes. If the guy didnt want to marry me, I wouldnt have the baby.
Usually for guys what ends up happening is:
1) find out girl is pregnant
2) propose to girl
3) find out you might not be the father
4) ditch the b****
at least according to FML. Girls might have a different story.
I was 18 when I found myself pregnant. My son’s father bailed. He’s now living somewhere in Alaska, never having met his son, never called or wrote. Just left. Though I didn’t expect to marry him (relationship was rather rocky), I never expected him to react the way he did. My high school sweetheart & I got back together shortly after my son was born (he was in my life through the pregnancy), and he’s been my son’s dad his whole life. When I became pregnant with our daughter we were living together & in a much more stable relationship, but still young. We were a mere 20 years old, and our parents immediately jumped onto the marriage bandwagon. When we announced we were having a baby, they said, “so, you’re getting married, right?” …In fact the next day, my husband was proposing with a huge diamond ring, which I knew was not in our budget, but apparently his dad took him to get. We got engaged that day, and though our parents WANTED us to get married before the baby was born, we knew that wasn’t best for us. We waited, and got married about two and a half years later. I know that typically marriage is associated with unexpected pregnancies, but that, in my opinion, is stupid. It’s the reason people end up in unhappy marriages, or divorces. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it’s just not a good enough reason. Marry because you’re happy & in a relationship you want to share forever. Be a parent because you’re pregnant. They are two, very different things.
I was the first of anyone is my year or anyone close to me to get engaged, then lots of people announced their weddings and got married quickly (I’m talking they had been together 1 -that ONE- year on their wedding day) or some got engaged, got pregnant really soon after that and had a rushed wedding so they looked *perfect* in that dress. I am glad my husband and I waited 3 yrs to be engaged then another 3 for our wedding. We are now on the road to adoption (I’m 22 btw – and able to have my own in theory, we just don’t want to try). Too many children need a loving, supportive, nurturing home already… totally wanting that challenge!!
It seems that my parents and grandparents dream in life was to own their own home and have a family, my generation is wanting to own their own business’s (not a bad idea really – if you can get it right) and have babies, married or not. Some people were born to be wonderful parents and to have baby upon baby, thats just not the way for me.
But to answer your question, after a much needed rant
– I think it is fine if you get married if it felt right and knew you wanted to spend your life with that person anyways, personally I would try not get into the situation (medical reasons) or abort. My body couldn’t deal with anymore medical complications than its already dealing with.
No. I’m waiting.
Yeah.
Nope. Marriage doesn’t make a relationship stronger or give the kid better parents, so why would I for such a silly reason?
i would not have sex with someone i didn’t love, so if i did get pregnant by them, yeah, we’d probably get our marriage licenses and save the ceremony for after the baby was born.
yes.
I was 2 months pregnant when I got married, but that wasn’t the reason.
We had already been engaged for 7 or 8 months.
But if I had changed my mind, I probably still would have got married since I was pregnant.
It honestly depends on the girl. I want to say no, but I can think of a couple women that if I were to get pregnant I would probably marry.
To be honest, No. Sure I would love to have been married before I became pregnant but I’m not going to get married based on that factor alone.
nah
It is interested how many times over the last 20-25 years I have seen a woman get pregnant…
*sigh* I guess you meant to say “It is interestING how many…”
What was that trade school you attended? Did you ever specify? I guess they’re not big on general, basic knowledge.
Get married for love and because you want to be with that person until you die. Not because you knocked her up.
No. But that’s because I have issues, not because I think it’s the right thing to say.
I got married after my ex-wife had my son, so it didnt really matter because he was already born.
i would not get married just because i was pregnant. if i knew i wanted to be with that person then why not but just to get married b/c i was pregnant… hell no! i have to many friends who did that and quickly got divorced or had a horrible marriage. my parents would support me either way so i always felt really lucky… i am married now but we waited 3 yrs to have a baby.
@saintvi - ha ha ha, I’m so with you on that one!
@snowboardnmom - Very well said.
I don’t think it’s honorable to fake a family because of an accident. ♥
I honestly don’t know what I would do in that situation. I hope I never have to make that decision.
I’d have to, because my parents and grandparents would be really disappointed if I didn’t.. and my boyfriend’s family would probably kill us, too.
not only that, but it wouldn’t set a very good example for my little sisters, and I want them to grow up right!
then again, I’m talking about marrying my boyfriend who I know I want to marry.. just quicker. if it was with someone random oh I don’t even know what I’d do…
Well, I will absolutely try my best to be married before I get pregnant, but if it does happen, I would hope that I loved that person enough to marry them. But no, I would not marry someone just because I had their child. Marriage is about love, not conveinence or doing the right thing, imho.
No. Way.
@Jaffyjopher222 - have ma babies!
Not just for the simple fact of being pregnant. I got pregnant with my 1st (a surprise!) when I was 16 and I was so glad no one tried to pressure me to marry the “sperm donor”. I am fortunate in that I was able to have my baby, move on and find someone later that I actually WANTED to marry because I loved them. I don’t think two people should ever get married just because they are pregnant…
Why are there two separate questions for both genders? Does this mean that the women have the option of marrying another woman if they get pregnant?
No. I’d be more inclined to get divorced if my wife got pregnant, LOL.
no i wouldn’t because the father of my baby could still be in his/her life without a ring on my finger. My parents would support this decision because they also think that getting pregnant is not a reason to get married. You’re already in a situation that will stick with you for life, although a blessing. You don’t need more life decisions at an already stressful time.
I’m waiting for marriage, but if I did I probably would be inclined to do the right thing.
@Rob_of_the_Sky - Hey, you leave my dad out of this!
Well…I am already married, and I already have two kids. And I was married before I got pregnant the first time. But, I think I can say pretty honestly that I wouldn’t have married a man just because I was pregnant. Mostly because I always wonder how couples who get married because of pregnancy can ever know for sure that their spouse really loves them and wants to be with them. I think it would make a marriage so much harder to have that doubt–would he/she have married me otherwise, or are we only together for the kid?
no. im pregnant right now.
i never cared to get married in my life.
its just something i find unecessary
Interesting question. Allow me to offer up my ideas on this. While I never plan to be in such a position, you never know. Granted I am engaged and have no plans of breaking that off, I still do not wish to have a kid before marriage. It is because I am engaged that I would get married. We have already made the comittment to each other and to do otherwise would be….a disappointment.
However, lets assume I am not engaged. In this case I would say yes to getting married but only if we were both ready to do so. If not, we wouldn’t, but he, and even I, would still be obligated to take care of the child by either the easy way, voluntarily, or the hard way, court. I might be crazy but I have this strong belief that it take two to make a baby and neither one is going to get out of raising that child, married or not.
@saintvi - Epic win!
I would never get married just because I was pregnant, I think that’s ridiculous..
I would propose if I get a girl pregnant…I feel like it would be the responsible thing to do.
Its not being honorable, its being “responsible”. Tho if you were too young/not mature enough for it in the first place, its not like marriage will “solve” anything. You still have a baby on the way, and now you are marrying out of necessity or social norm, than out of what really matters.
No way, I’m 19 and 17 weeks pregnant and honestly I’m not ready for marriage. I know it seems silly if you’re ready for a baby you should be ready for marriage but its not always like that. If my boyfriend proposed today I honestly would say no. Having a baby is a big enough responsibility, without marriage on top.
My fiance and I have decided to wait until marriage because that is definitely the WRONG reason to get married.
Yes I would marry him. I would hope I could do the really honorable thing by not having sex till married…but if I made a huge mistake like that, I’d get married. And I would feel very ashamed.
To be honest, I think that it is wrong to marry just because you are pregnant. I would not marry a men just because i got pregnant.
No, unless I was already planning on marrying the guy. I wouldn’t marry or stay with a guy just because I had his baby. Children know more than we think. I think most, if not all children can tell when their parents aren’t in love. Doing what’s best for your child does not always include staying together as parents.
No. I would get an abortion.
No. Marriage is a separate thing. Though I can understand doing it for the insurance! My parents got married because my mother was pregnant and it was not a good marriage.
Depends whether I can talk her into the abortion.
i would have to be in love or very much in like to marry, pregnant or not.
I don’t have to worry about that…I have erectile dysfunction.
hell to the no way!
I seen this alot too and it sickens me, especially if they think that a marriage will be best for the baby and they know that they are not that deeply in love themselves.
No WAY I was pregnant at 17 and GLAD now that I’m older I didn’t marry him.
Marry me because you love me, not because you are obligated to!! Yes a baby should have both parents there, but getting married should not be based on a baby!!
i think i’d be more willing to marry the daddy, but im not very tradititonal in that sense so if i didnt then its cool
they could be the bridesmaid/pageboy when they were older for us 
Hell no.
Nope. Actually, it would probably work in my favour as an excuse to break up since I’m always looking for those…
Besides, I’d abort…why get married if I was just going to kill the fucker anyways?
I would marry the man if I was in love with him, if I wasn’t the I wouldn’t marry him even if I wass pregnant.
In my opinion i would say just because i was pregnant would not make it prudent for me to marry just for that particular reason. You have to think of what would be best for the coming child, some would say it is best for a child to be raised with both parents when in a lot of cases, remaining a single mother is best to shield the child for problems which are sometimes common in rushed marriages and could lead to a divorce which could be harder for the child to deal with then just having one parent. My mom was pregnant with me before her and my father married and they ended up marrying because she didn’t want to raise a child alone, their rushed, young marriage ended in a long and painful divorce for mom as well as me and my sister. The point being, it’s not necessary to marry just because a child is on the way.
Honestly? I think it’s the wrong reason, but then again if I’m sleepy with someone it’s because I’m pretty sure I could make a good life with them. So yes, honestly, I would.
I might move up a wedding if I got pregnant, but if I wasn’t going to marry him before, I wouldn’t just because we were pregnant. That being said I waited till after I was married to start having sex. That also solves the question.
In my current situation, it wouldn’t change anything. If I were to get pregnant this year, I’d have the baby, and Corey and I wouldn’t change our wedding date, which is next year in October.
A baby is not a reason to rush.
At least not for Corey and I.
Yes. Probably.
And end up divorced later? I don’t think so. If a guy wants to marry me I want it to be *because* HE wants to… not because he feels forced into it because we have a child together. I plan to get married once, tyvm.
no. My commitment to that child, and my responsibility for it and to it are not relevant to my relationship with its mother. It is not impossible to love a child, care for it, and provide for it and not love the mother. My happiness is contingent on the partner that I choose for myself, but that childs happiness and livelihood are not.
two wrongs don’t make a right. you should only marry someone if you truly love someone and have a healthy relationship. too often when two people marry just because their was a pregnancy, later down the road there is fighting and divorce, which not only affects them but also the child (or children) whereas if mom and dad never were married, they don’t have the trauma of going through a divorce. the most important thing is to keep good relationship with each other for the sake of the child, even if marriage is a bad idea.
Hell fuck no. My son’s dad asked me to marry him and I laughed in his face. I don’t want to be stuck with one person forever simply because we had sex. (I was 15, definitely not wanting to get married or be with that dumbass for much longer.) I love my son with all my heart and I do wish he had a dad, but I am 100% ohkay with playing both mommy and daddy right now cause I’m doing a much better job than his father could.
Marriage should be a product of love, not babies. (And babies a product of marriage but obviously life doesn’t always work out that way..)
Yes.
I know a guy who got her GF pregnant to get married, actually both their parents were against it.
So interesting, this life..
As a girl, no. I would not want to get married right away. Especially since a baby costs so much., I think a wedding would be reckless because you could be using the money planning the wedding, for the baby.
Marriage can wait a lifetime. A baby can only wait 9 months.
I feel that u should marry someone who u dearly love. I think getting married just b-c u r pregnant would be a mistake.
they only marry to cover up the scandal.
Honestly, yeah. Assuming it was my kid, I would want to marry her quickly for the stability of the family as a whole. I would do it for her because she needs to see my intention is never to leave or even consider walking away from her or the child. For the child, it would allow for things to be a little more settled rather than to have to worry about planning a wedding AND raising a kid. I would also do it for myself because I would want her to be as commited to the child as I was as well as to be as commited to me as I was to her because at that point, it would no longer be just about me and her. There would be three lives in the picture and there is no way I would walk away from my own child, let alone that child’s mother.
@OngishLyOngLee - Some do, but like the reasons I mentioned above, that’s not always the case and I personally know people who have had the same reasons and there is no doubting that because everyone knew about it so any scandal was already out there.
maybe, but why impregnate before marriage?
I’m the cause of a shotgun marriage, they don’t work. Don’t do it.
probaly, i want to be married one day anyways.
Definitely not. It would be a horrible marriage if that was the only reason why we were together. I want to get married, stay married WITH KIDS all for love. You gotta make sure you’re happy!
I waited till marrige to have children
nope
No.
I got pregnant, and then got married, but we were already engaged… so the pregnancy just moved up the wedding date.
Yes. This happened to me. But we waited three years after his birth before getting married. Even then our marriage only lasted a year.
I would only get married if that’s what I had been wanting to do earlier. My cousin married a man she wasn’t sure about because she was pregnant with his child. He ended up abusing her.
If we were already thinking of getting married and I happened to get pregnant, I would marry the guy. But if I was having doubts about the relationship, I hope I wouldn’t let the fact that I was pregnant with his child influence me to do something I felt uncomfortable with before I was pregnant.
@starfall56 -
Everybody always says they plan to get married once. No one ever says they plan to have three marriages in their lifetime.
It would depend on who the father is, and how ready I am for marriage. Right now, I’ll just practice safe sex or have sex with the right person.
Call me old fashion but something is missing here. If you where not in love with a person why would you want to have sex?
I know I’m a bit late to this party I have to say this question is more than an intellectual exercise in “what if’s” but this question is one that consumed me for quite some time back in early 1992 when I found out my then-girlfriend was pregnant with my child. After days of soul searching I decided it would be best to do the honorable thing and ask for her hand in marriage. She accepted and we were married a few months later in a civil service – we eloped. And here we are about a month shy of 18 wonderful years together and looking forward to many more.
If I had fathered a child under those conditions, I’d naturally want to marry the mother. First: It should be assumed that there was some mutual bond between us before the “friendship” was consummated. Any man and woman of good will can make a marriage work. Second: If a woman was willing to put herself into my hands and take the always present risk of becoming pregnant, being willing to support her in return is the least a man can do. As they say, “Never do it with anyone you wouldn’t marry.” Third: No child of mine would grow up without a father and without a name. Every child brought into the world is the sacred responsibility of those who conceived him. That means father and mother alike.
I would get an abortion, honestly. I’m way too young for that. (Prepares for onslaught of rage)
ANYWAY, I don’t think I’d be more likely to get married, no. I mean, I’ve been with the same guy for over two years, and we intend to do that after college and whatnot, BUT I wouldn’t want to get married just because I got knocked up. I want to get married because it’s the right time and we’re both ready, not because my uterus has become a timebomb.
No way.
A baby is not a reason to get married.
However, love, trust, and commitment are a few reasons to.
What is “honorable” about marrying someone you might not actually want to spend the rest of your life with just because of an unplanned pregnancy? Perhaps you will have an unhealthy marriage because you are not meant to be together, and wouldn’t be otherwise.
I think it’s more important to take care of the kid together, and if you end up together eventually then great. If you don’t, hopefully you will find the right person and everyone will be happy. including a kid who has two happy parents even though not with each other.
Yes, I’d be more likely to get married. It’d be for the wrong reasons and all but it’s better than being labeled “slut” or “whore” and if you’re married everyone would be like, “it’s okay, she’s married”.
No I would not marry my boyfriend just because I got pregnant with his child, I have been with him almost 3 years, Lived with him 2 out the 3 and I have been very careful NOT to get pregnant he is still very imature and I trully do not believe he can take care of himself yet so how could he be able to handle a child…or marrige…hell nooo. I think I would do the exact opposite and ask my parents for help and move closer to them so I would have their support. your blog is great by the way
Female: yes, I would.
HELL NO
you already fucked up by getting pregnant, why make another mistake by getting married?