April 7, 2010
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Drinking Alcohol in Front of Your Kids
I was listening to the radio the other day and the topic was whether it was bad parenting to drink alcohol in front of your kids.
They were talking about wine but then the guy mentioned that he has seen adults get a little “buzzed” in front of their kids.
Is it bad parenting to drink alcohol in front of your kids?
Comments (107)
This is a fine line question. I think you should be appropriate and never drunk, but I won’t say no to having any alcohol.
I bet that little girl in the picture is drinking apple juice.
And I don’t think it is bad unless you get drunk. I’m not a parent though.
Drinking is fine. Getting tanked…not so fine.
I don’t see anything wrong with drinking alcohol with a meal or whatnot.
My dad drank everyday of my life in front of me.
Yes.
If you are hiding it from the kids it sounds like you believing it is wrong.
So ether do not do it, or do not hide it. As for me why hide it, there is nothing wrong with moderate drinking?
i think it is okay to drink a little bit in front of your kids but dont get drunk or even buzzed.my uncle let my 4 year old cousin taste wine when i went to visit and yea that is horrible
WHO CARES?! I’M FIRST.
haha joke.
Yeah, I think it’s better to leave it ’til they’re not around. I wouldn’t wanna raise them in that environment, especially not really young.
PS. FIIIIIRSTTTTTTTTT.
I believe so.
That’s cruel. You shouldn’t drink in front of your kids unless you’re willing to share.
My parents always gave me a swig. I loved the taste of beer since as a long as I can remember. 5 or 6 years old for sure.
I don’t think it’s a problem as long as it’s not regularly.
Depends on the parameters and the situation.
No. Its bad parenting not to teach them about alcohol.
Either drink or don’t drink. But don’t hide it. If you think it is okay to drink then hiding it says the opposite. *shrugs*
It is, I didn’t like my mom when she was drunk. I even asked to taste it when I was younger and let me try it.
The taste of beer still serves as a reminder as to why I’ll never drink.
Yuck.
Depends. My parents are alcoholics, and the majority of my family is nutso. Me? I’m bipolar, but not nuts. I learned what not to do in life from their mistakes.
I think you should save the drinking for whenever the kids are in bed. Too many times I would accidentally pick up one of my mom’s drinks because I was thirsty. Maybe that was her fault for using the same plastic cups for their beer drinking parties as she used for our punch.
But I guess if it’s just a glass of wine with dinner, that’s fine. As long as your kids understand what it is and that it is for adults only.
I know many who grew up picking seeds out of their parents weed… it wasnt uncommon for them to smoke in front of them either. Right or wrong, who is to say, they ALL turned out normal, upstanding citizens so who cares.
@QueenOfOreos - But by that logic, it’s okay to have sex in front of the kids, since sex is not a bad thing.
It’s not saying it’s not okay. It’s just not for their age. What’s the point in doing it in front of them if you’re gonna (hopefully) say no if they ask for some?
@skylar_rose - I agree
Drinking a small, moderate amount is OK, getting drunk or buzzed isn’t. It’s inappropriate to let kids see you lose control like that. On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with moderate drinking. Hiding it from them just increases the mystique of a taboo. Kids like nothing better than to explore taboos when you are not around; frankly I think allowing a sip of wine with dinner here and there does more to stop binge drinking by showing kids it is possible to drink moderately and responsibly. And that it is not so exciting or exotic.
@Tallman - What you said.
All goes back to parenting and responsibility for me.
Everything in moderation. If they don’t know the definition of moderation then they shouldn’t drink in front of their kids.
Having a little is alright I think it shows that your are responsible with what you do and that you do not over do…but then to get drunk is another story
@nothng_less - so basically you’re saying we should keep our drinking until after the kiddies go to bed if we’re too stupid to make sure you dont drink out of my cup?? NO way sistah! It should be established at birth you are NEVER to drink out of my cup no matter what is in it…!
I think it’s very good parenting to teach your children the responsible use of alchohol. Getting tipsy or drunk on the other hand is unacceptable around children. If you are not in control of your faculties then you are not responsible enough to be in charge of children. If parents want to get drunk they should hire a sitter.
I don’t think it’s bad parenting as long as you can still take care of your children while doing so. I would never get drunk in front of my kids, but having a glass of wine with dinner or a beer or two while hanging out with friends is cool by me.
@OhItWontBeForever - Well, I don’t think people want to do that anyways, there is a difference there. Sex is a private thing, and I doubt people in their right mind want to show it off. But drinking isn’t really and if you are okay with drinking than there is no need to hide it, though there should be moderation. Sex on the other hand–children would not want to see that more likely–and if they accidently walk in on their parents in the middle, they are more likely gonna be surprised and ask what you are doing. Other than that…? I doubt kids are gonna go and say I want some of that! Especially at a young age. I least would hope so.
And if we do things all the time that children can’t do. They can’t drive the car and kids want to try their hand at it too. They can’t stay up late, but they love to do that. We all say no to that kind of thing. So saying no to them drinking when you are doing it, isn’t that much of a difference. THey will get their chance to drink at 21 if they want. All I say is give them a good example by moderation. Maybe I am wrong in my logic, but its mine. And I don’t drink really, but if I did and I had kids, I would just tell them they are too young and one day they can choose to have it when they are old enough, just like I would say they are too young to drive the car and they can when they are old enough.
I don’t think drinking in front of your kids is bad. My parents didn’t drink much, but all my grandparents did. It was just common knowledge amongst the youngesters that grandma and grandpa always cracked open their first beer mid afternoon. It was just as if they were drinking a soda to us.
I think keeping your kids away from alcohol entirely gives them the impression that it’s wrong in general. Seeing people casually sitting around sipping a beer after dinner would probably give your kids a more relaxed attitude toward booze, kind of like how the Europeans do.
If we were in Europe, no one would care and teens would not care so much about drinking…
Drinking a glass of wine with dinner, Nope. Drinking a whole bottle of wine, yes. As long as the parent isn’t getting so drunk that they can’t take care of their kids, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal!
Why not? Just don’t get shit faced and make a habit of it.
@MomGoneMadd - No. I’m saying you should keep your drinking until after the kdis go to bed at all times (with the exception of a glass of wine at meals).
I was saying that I think it is bad parenting to drink in front of children. Just giving my opinion.
So long as it’s in moderation, I don’t have a problem with it.
Simple. Not OK. Moderation, also not OK. The end.
Absolutely nothing wrong with it as long as you don’t get drunk. Smoking around children is inappropriate, though.
I don’t think it’s a big deal to have a drink in front of kids, but in moderation.
I do think it can become problematic when kids get older and you tell them not to drink and yet they watch you drink. I know they should be taught that there’s a difference between adults drinking and underage kids drinking, but in their development, kids learn by example. I don’t think it would scar them for life as long as the parents do their job in actually teaching their kids about alcohol rather than letting them learn about it from outside influences (i.e. their friends).
I’m a child of an alcoholic, so the chances of me drinking in front of my kids are slim to none. So I’m probably a little more paranoid or cautious than most.
I’ve seen my parents party with friends and really get buzzed up when I was younger. They would maybe do it twice a year. My dad’s side of the family is Italian so they drink wine everyday. At the age of 12 my grandfather was offering me wine every time I was over. Still today, I have yet to even taste alchohol. So, no I don’t think it matters.
Oh I don’t know. Obviously an alcoholic parent is a problem, but nothing should be wrong with light drinking in front of kids. My parents rarely drank at all so I tend to think you should not drink in front of kids. But then again, I rarely drink so I’ll rarely drink in front of kids. Who knows?
I think drinking–in moderation, of course–in front of your kids can be a good thing, actually. It’s a good example; they get to see their parents–people they trust and respect (hopefully)–drinking in a responsible way. Treating it like some super-secret taboo adult ritual will make it seem more exciting than it is, and will probably drive kids to experience it the wrong way.
Of course, it’s bad parenting! No debate.
Is it just me or does that little girl look like a young Sarah Silverman?
Getting shitfaced isnt acceptable, one or 2 social drinks with a sober driver is a different story. I’m sure responsible adults explain alcohol to their kids.
Cheers!!!
Eh, my parents drank in front of me when I was little and I’ve seen them both drunk several times. Honestly not the best experiences of my life. I want to make sure my kid never has to see that. A glass of wine or two every now and then is one thing, but being full-out drunk is another. Parents are a kid’s role model, right?
I was reading a blog about this a couple of months ago. I was sitting at the table around bedtime with my son. He had a sprite and I had a sprite with a shot of peppermint scnapps in it. As I was reading, and not paying attention my son reached over and grabbed the wrong glass…
So I guess that tells you where I stand.
@OhItWontBeForever - so by “that” logic, you don’t do anything in front of your children you don’t want them to do? so you don’t use fire, or sharp objects or the stove… in front of your children? that makes no sense…
I don’t see a problem drinking in front of children, and I agree it is inappropriate to get drunk in front of them… but if you are a responsible adult who knows how to drink responsibly then your children are going to more likely learn from you than if you avoid or “hide” alcohol from them.
if they are responsible, then i don’t think it’s a problem. if they get abusive or get depressed when they drink, then no, they probably shouldn’t drink in front of their kids (they probably shouldsn’t drink period).
Heh, I’d get the kids to fetch me a couple of beers and give them one as a reward.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, if you are being a good role model and being responsible. i’d rather my child learn moderation and how to behave like an adult from me or my husband, then learn it from some irresponsible teenagers when she’s at a party. If she sees me drinking wine and asks for some, I tell her it’s a grown up drink. She also gets a ‘special’ drink, which is orange juice mixed with ginger ale. she loves that
Eh, they were probably drunk when you were conceived anyway…
I think when it comes to your kids and alcohol, there is a definite fine line and it’s easy to tread on. First, it depends on their age. Second, it depends on your own dependency. if you feel like it’s something you should “hide” from them, then more than likely, you have a problem… I don’t think a child will notice 1-3 drinks. Just don’t drink a box of wine and then drive your kids to soccer practice. There are appropriate times for it.
And okay, maybe every person doesn’t have a problem if they want to ‘hide’ from their kids, but it’s better to keep it out in the open. When they get to the age where they’ll be tempted to drink, they’ll be more open about it. I think that’s the most important. If my daughter grows up and hides it from me that she’s drinking (because it’s inevitable that high school kids will drink), I would be devastated if something happened to her while out driving trying to keep it a secret from me. I’d rather her grow up knowing that drinking can be controllable and that she can always talk to me about. Approaching it in any other way could be setting yourself up.
Or am I full of shit? My daughter is only 4 months old, so I have a while to go before i have to worry about this kind of stuff.
@MorningAngel - Ginger ale and orange juice. That’s such a brilliant idea. Thank you for the tip! I’m definitely going to use that one!
Having a drink, acceptable. Getting drunk, not so much.
@QueenOfOreos - I’m with you 100% on that.
Set the example for them while they’re young. Show them how to drink in moderation. Or don’t drink in front of them at all.
No. My parents have wine or a beer with dinner most nights. Have for most of my life. I agree with others, moderation is key. It also depends on the morals they pass down to their kids and if there are any problems with the drinking.
I like getting my kids drunk. They’re hilarious.
It’s not bad parenting to have a glass of wine or something.. But if you’re getting completely drunk, there’s a problem.
And not offer them any? How rude.
@Tallman - I agree.
There is a difference between drinking wine, beer, or even cocktails and drinking yourself into a stupor.
As long as they’re not getting drunk… I’ve witnessed my mom social drink as a young kid, I never cared about what was in the bottle/glass…
Drinking with responsibility is key. If you completely leave out the presence of alcohol until the child grows up, I think it sends a message that they have to hide their drinking when they actually get to drinking. Being responsible sets the better example for the kids and teaches them that you can drink but it’s not so great to get drunk.
@OhItWontBeForever - what would you know about alcohol consumption, muslim?
My parents never drank at all, ever, in any amount or at any time the entire time I was growing up.
And I’m still your typical college binge drinker.
So, as long as you’re not an alcoholic, I really don’t think it makes that much of a difference.
As a parent of seven children i would have to ask; how would our childern learn to be responable if we dont let them see how we should acted. Hidding it from them would in fact cause them to hide it from us? and in turn they wouldint know when to stop because they havent learnt that behavior . In the Bilbe did they hide wine from their children at weddings, feast, or even everyday dinner? Children learn more by waching their parent, than by hearing the preaching they hear from us!
Genesis 27:25
So he said, “Bring it to me, and I will eat of my son’s game, that I may bless you.” And he brought it to him, and he ate; he also brought him wine and he drank.
Titus 2:3
Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,
John 2:3
When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.”
John 2:9,10
When the headwaiter tasted the water which had become wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the headwaiter called the bridegroom,and said to him, “Every man serves the good wine first, and when the people have drunk freely, then he serves the poorer wine; but you have kept the good wine until now.”
1 Timothy 5:23
No longer drink water exclusively, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.
No, as long as everything is under control. My parents always drank in front of me.
@QueenOfOreos - AGREED.
Seeing my dad buzzed one time was epic lulz.
@Rbynfairy - Lol you said it better than I.
if it’s one glass of wine or one beer with dinner, that’s fine. excessive drinking, getting drunk is NOT okay. it’s probably better to show kids that alcohol CAN be taken in moderation
Just don’t get tanked, then it’s not a big deal. Studies have shown that kids who were exposed to alcohol when they were younger were more likely to wait until legal age to drink. I know I would have a few sips of my parents alcohol when I was younger, and the only time I ever drink now is when my parents ask me if I want a glass of wine, and I still never finish it.
Personally, thinking back I think I would have found it a little bit scary. Maybe it’s just because I never grew up around drinking and people that were drunk but even now at 20 it makes me nervous.
You booze you lose… custody.
I used to finish off the last two swigs of my Dad’s beer, from the time I was six. At the age of 30, doc told me to quit drinking before it killed me.
Alcohol is a kid’s temptation, but an adult’s privilege.
my dad drinks in front of me. i’ve never been influenced by it
@Rbynfairy - But with sharp objects, they are dangerous, and you can explain that to your kids. With alcohol, it just makes more sense not to have to do that.
Of course it depends on the adult, if it’s just a glass of wine over dinner or whatever, then fine, but I don’t really see why they need to. I am not saying don’t teach the kids. You just don’t need them to be around in that environment.
It’s just the way I think. I don’t understand parents who take their kids to the pub after school. I would prefer to keep them away from that.
@andfeud - Please don’t waste my time.
There is nothing wrong with drinking alcohol in front of your kids if you want them to grow up thinking there is nothing wrong with it, if you want to chance their becoming an alcoholic. Nothing at all.
Is it bad parenting to drink in front of your children? No. In Europe, many families start their children having wine with their meals (watered down wine) at a very early age. I think that making alcohol taboo is a bit extreme and not really very productive, unless you have a recovering alcoholic parent in the home.
Is it bad parenting to be buzzed in front of your children? No, most kids can see that (or worse) at any wedding reception, neighborhood cookout, family Christmas party, etc. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for; they know the difference between a person who has had a couple of beers and is a little more animated and giggly than usual and a person who is smashed. If you get buzzed in front of your kids all the time, like the dad who comes home and has three martinis before dinner, that is when I’d have the concern about the message he’s sending.
Is it bad parenting to be a drunken, sloppy mess in front of your children. Yep. Aside from the terrible message it sends, how the heck would a wasted parent be able to be effective if an emergency arose and the child needed them?
Like an earlier poster said…It’s all about moderation and teaching your children to use their judgment and good common sense when it comes to drinking, not hiding it from them.
No.. just don’t get tipsy/buzzed/drunk/tanked/sloshed. A few glasses is fine!!! Geez!!
No its fine, If I had kids I would not want them to grow up thinking alcohol was a bad thing, unless we were muslims, But drinking in moderation around them just shows them how to drink in the right way, if you are getting drunk then no, leave them with a baby sitter, but a glass of wine while socialising is a perfectly normal thing to do.
Drinking abit of wine every once in awhile for dinner is fine. Getting completely shitfaced is not.
My husband will occasionally have a glass of wine after the kids (6 & 8 years old) go to bed. They know he has wine, and they also know they can’t have any (any more than they can have his coffee). They understand it’s an “adult thing”.
I think losing control in any form (from alcohol, drugs, temper, etc) is just showing kids “This is the way it’s done, and it’s okay, becasue I’m the adult here”. And each parent has to decide if that’s what they want to see in their grown up children.
Mine did, but they also left cases of beer in the garage and the liquor cabinet unlocked. So I never missed a party
Dude is that Tiger Woods?
No, it’s not bad as long as the drinking is done responsibly and in moderation.
http://www.manhattanhomedesign.com/index.html
Omg, kids are wayyy too sheltered these days. Its perfectly fine to drink in front of your kids. Just don’t get drunk. My family always drank champagne, wine and sometimes beer at every family event when I was growing up, and I turned out just fine. In fact, I rarely ever drink now as an adult. Its getting really annoying how people think every little thing in the world is going to harm kids. What the hell is next? Its like kids arent supposed to know about anything besides barbie dolls and toy cars or else its considered bad parenting. Get a grip people!
Yes, yes yes. It really is. My mom wouldn’t just get “buzzed” around me, she’d get full-on trashed. It absolutely horrified me seeing her act like that and because of it, I can’t bring myself to have any alcohol at all, even a sip, and I can’t even bring myself to be around friends or other people when they’re drinking because it scares the hell out of me. It scars you for life.
My folks did it somewhat regularly. Thing is, they never had more than they could handle.
I’d go so far as to say it can be a good thing for parents to drink in front of their kids, so long as they do so in moderation. It makes their early exposure to alcohol one of moderation rather than drinking to get drunk.
Shouldn’t do it. I’m not gonna.
I do not think that it is bad to drink in front of your kids, however getting shitfaced is a different matter.
If your going to be dancing on tables & feeling up everyone you meet because you’ve consumed a bit too much
your kids shouldn’t see that.Wine at dinner, however, is a different thing.
It’s not appropriate, but it can show the children that drinking is a normal occurence for when they grow up. Besides, making something easily available removes the taboo off of the object. If the parents had forbidden their children to even SEE their parents drinking, then the urge to taste it becomes stronger.
That is childlike behavior, after all.
No, I actually think it might be a good thing…especially and specifically if you’re not drunk. It shows them that drinking can be social and perfectly okay when done in moderation. I think that’s why the drinking age isn’t so important in countries other than the US.
@ShimmerBodyCream - lol
What you see you will remember.
For the people who don’t think it’s okay to do drugs in front of their kids, shouldn’t be okay with alcohol either. The only difference between alcohol and, let’s say marijuana, is that alcohol is legal. But it’s still a drug.
Everything in moderation, I agree. If I still drank, I would be okay with having a glass of wine in front of my daughter. Getting tanked… not so much. Not even at a wedding, not even at a family gathering where there would be other people around to look after her. It’s just not appropriate, and it’s not a good role-model technique.
I think if your at a wedding drinking wine it’s fine. If your getting hammered in front of them your being irresponsible.
no, it’s just bad to get shitfaced in front of your kids.
actually, the earlier you introduce your kids to alcohol, the better. that way when they’re old enough, you can teach them to drink in moderation and control themselves so they don’t become alcoholics or do something dangerous/stupid at a party.
i think its bad if the kids are younger where they dont understand or the young teens who are impressionable and think that if this person is doing it its ok to do it. so i dont think its right as a parent to ever drink in front of your kids. maybe there are exceptions. holidays or something. not sure. im kinda battling over that. but i think its sad to see parents really drinking in front of their kids.
a drink is no more than it is made to be.
No, as long as you do so responsibly. Kids follow examples. If parents get shit face in front of their kids all the time, they’re probably gonna think that’s the norm for drinking.
It’s not necessarily wrong to have a drink at a social gathering when children are present. Getting “buzzed”, however, is. Children take these examples to heart. The truly heartbreaking scenarios are where parents actually allow their children to drink and get drunk. (Think Drew Barrymore and Dakota Fanning!) Some parents either don’t care or even think its “cute”. Some parents should spend a month confined in the county drunk tank and see the ugly, ongoing spectacle of kids being dragged in and out. I have. It was an education.
I don’t believe this is a bad thing to say.. Depends on the child’s morals. If the parent taught the child that it’s okay to drink, the child might not realize how bad it is. If school had taught the child to not drink, then the child would feel confused and not understand who to trust and such. I don’t see it as a bad thing since that’s what happened to me when I was little. It’s exposure of things that allow people to understand things. A liberal mind is what keeps people understanding different situations.
My parents drank in front of me and I’m fine. I drink in front of kids.
Drinking wine in front of the children is part of my religion. While we do kiddush with grape juice quite often, my kids do see us drink wine and sometimes spirits (think Purim). They, however, will never see their parents drunk.
I’m 39, I’ve a pair of teen kids. In the first marriage, there was a zero-tolerance rule in the house – up to and including directly after their father and I had divorced.
They did not see an alcoholic beverage in the house when they were little.
When I had remarried, we had been careful to specifically not have alcohol in view, and we both had, for the time, abstained from drinking.
As the kids grew to be teens, the alcohol appeared – but the kids are aware that I don’t drink. My husband has had perhaps one drink, in a given month. We’ve still got one bottle of Captain Morgan’s, and one bottle of Irish creme, purchased at or around Christmastime.
I, myself, don’t drink but perhaps once per year, oftentimes not finishing the drink I had poured for myself.
I’ve known alcoholics in my lifetime, and would never want to see my sons go through that route.
Do I think drinking is necessarily bad? No, but becoming drunk is not necessarily good., either…especially as kids oftentimes reflect on their behaviors and try to emulate that which is reserved “for grown ups only”, and, in some cases, at earlier ages than the grownups had taken up their vices.
I also speak to them about alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, pharmaceutical drugs, and recreational drugs – the truth, the myths, and the lies. Yes, I smoke cigarettes – and, even as I light up, I let the kids know that it was the dumbest addiction to latch into.
Thus far, they are not only nonsmokers, but also have no desire to take it up.
Caffeine, on the other hand…..