May 22, 2010
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Friendship
I was having a conversation with a friend a few years back and the friend was talking about having 10 close friends.
I mentioned at the time that I thought it was impossible to have 10 close friends. I thought a person was lucky if he/she had 2-3 close friends. But it is impossible to be close to 10 people.
Is it possible to have 10 close friends?
Comments (95)
Nope.
….but it is possible to be first. =)
No but that is a lot of work.
I wouldn’t want 10 close friends. I need my space.
If you’re young, sure. I don’t think so later on.
I think something like that would be difficult and draining, but I’m not sure I’d say it was impossible.
Someone you can tell anything in the world to? It would be hard to find someone who won’t judge you like that.
10 friends with benefits
You’d have to put a lot of time and effort into it, but I guess it’s possible.
guess it depends on your definition of close friend.
@Paul_Partisan - That’s a good point.
I don’t know if I even have one that would be willing to drop everything if I needed them. Maybe…one.
Yes. I have at least 10 close, “best” friends. It takes a lot of work, however, and it requires you to be more vulnerable than many people are comfortable being.
@MySecretLoveAffair - I’ll be clumsy to help you out whenever you need!
I think it would be impossible.
One would have to put a whole lot of effort into being ten close friends to ten different people. I don’t have any EXTREMELY close friends, but I probably have about ten friends who are equally close to me, but much closer to me than the casual friend who I might just hang out with and drink or go bowling or do karaoke with.
I don’t believe so
no
For some people, it might be.
For me, no.
I think that it’s possible. It just depends on the type of person that you are and also your group of friends. For me, I have like 10 close friends. I am also a big extrovert so I thrive on having a social life. And my close friends all live in like one house and have girlfriends that I live with in an apartment. So, we’re all like a family.
Maybe, but I have rate my friends and put them in different levels.
10 is possible for some, especially if they are childhood friends.
I think it depends on your stage in life. A college student is likely to have 10 close friends, but married with children? Not so much. It’s normal to have friendships fall away based on where your path takes you in life. It seems the older we get, the less people we hold truly close to us. As we get older and life demands more of us, it’s hard to cultivate the few we do have.
I won’t say it can’t happen at all, but realistically 2-3 is more like it. If you think about it, you shouldn’t need more than that.
@seedsower - yep it would be.
It could happen.
Not for me.
Depends on the person.
Harder to have 10 close friends…but not impossible. It doesn’t help that “close” is such a subjective term…
You served did you not?
yea it is possible…but impossible for me. btw is that a photo of a band?
Ask that question to a combat fire squad. Such bonds require many hours out of each day, day after day after day; and a situation that brings everyone together in orderly, focused interaction.
Perhaps if they’re all 5
I’ve never had more than 5 close friends. I’ve mostly only had 2-3. But my siblings have had many more at any given time. So I guess it depends on the person.
@Paul_Partisan - I was thinking just the opposite that it has become easier to keep up with more friendships the older I get.
That would simply be exhausting.
It’s not impossible to have 10 close friends… But it is hard to get more than a few good friends. You’d be one of the luckiest people if you were to get 10 close friends.
If I count the family that I am close to then I am sure I have around that many.
I’m sure it’s possible for some people.
I don’t think it would be impossible for a very social person, but I know for me to do that it would take a lot of work.
yes. my mother does. she has more than that. she’s damn busy too!
I guess it depends on what you consider “close.” For me, a close friend is someone I can email just for the hell of it. So I’ve got quite a few close friends.
I think 2-3 close friends over the course of a life is a good estimate. I don’t think we’re designed to be that intimately connected to more than that many people. I mean, give or take a few I guess, but definitely no more than a few at one time!
Personally, I have no trouble making friends wherever I go, but I have a distinct amount of trouble gaining and KEEPING really close friends. I’m just not good at the upkeep. Well, I am getting better, but the phone calls and the exposing myself to someone without much reservation…I get tired, dagnabit. I’m already married, it’s hard work being close to someone!
I would say my closest friends right now are literally my mom and my husband. I’m working on having an actual close GIRL friendship. The fact that I’m actively “working on it” should be enough evidence to prove that I’m kind of not good at this. :p
~V
Only in a small room
I think it’s definitely possible, depending on how you’ve grown up. I grew up with the same gals K through 12th grade, and we are still close and having a giant 50th birthday slumber party at a B and B this summmer. And I’m very close friends with several cousins and siblings, and college friends, too….so…yeah. They’re all like family to me.
Sounds like to much effort. I have 2 close friends at the most.
You would have to repeat your funny stories every day to 10 different people. I would get exhausted.
Not for me. I’m not very open. I usually don’t open up. If I have, it is because that person may have become witness to what I keep to myself. I have 3 good friends.
i love this question…but it is hard to answer!
yes and no, depends on how you will define what a “close friend” is supposed to be!
No, I don’t think it’s impossible, but I think it’s improbable. You wouldn’t have enough time to spend building all those friendships and relationships and keeping them intact.
It’s probably possible, but I’ve never had more than 4-5. 7 if you count my related close friends.
Nope…
No. I don’t think you can even have 5.
I have ten family members that I’m close to and I’ll tell you it’s great sometimes, but other times it’s overwhelming. I think if I had ten non-familial friends that were that close I’d end up just flaking out on most of them half the time.
May be, won’t be possible from my side! I have 3 best friends
Sometimes people retain the same group of friends they’ve had since grade school and they consider each other “close friends”- I don’t think it’s possible though
No
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nope. I have 5 besties out of which one is my bf right now
@imasilentheart - well I have 5…
I don’t think so.
Dan, do you have music on your page or something? Every time I open it, some music plays.
I would say I have 3-4 close friends :] And I am very happy with the amount.
@ShimmerBodyCream - yes that is possible.
Is it impossible to be close to ten family members?
It’s possible only if Your relations aren’t deep. Then You can have a lot of close friends. For me making friendship takes a lot of time… I need to know and understand that person that I can almost read in her/him mind… so I haven’t time for too many friends
Impractical. Not impossible.
depends on your definition of a close friend. I only have like maybe 4 or 5 people I trust…and no, its nothing to do w/ the length of time I knew them, b/c ive known ppl longer than Ive known these 4 or 5 people, but I trust these 4 or 5 people more. Of those 4 or 5, I think I can only TRULY count on 3 (possibly 4)… 10 close friends? *shrugs* depends on your definition, though I suppose its possible. I have to agree with @Paul_Partisan, maybe when you are young, it is possible not so much when you are older and what stage of life you are in. Like @DirtyAndShaken said…a college student is likely to have 10 close friends. She also said its less likely for a married person with children to have 10 close friends, but I wont comment on that, seeing that I dont have experience with that area.
@AasthaKathy - *shrugs* I still don’t believe it…
Maybe…but it’d be a ton of work. You’d have to spend all your time with your friends.
@i_saw_myself_morior - Yeah, I’m not saying it isn’t possible when you’re married and have kids, but usually your childless friends don’t want to do family-related stuff, so those friendships kind of fade away a little. And usually you invest so much in your family that it would be impossible to keep 10 very close friends. I think in some cases this is probably true for single people as they get older, too.
I kind of noticed that Dan will not reply in his own blog. I suppose Dan would comment in other people’s blogs who he is an acquaintance but not a true friend.
If seedsower were to designate who her top friends on xanga was, then some people would be hurt by the list by omission. Same goes probably if Dan put out his list of xanga friends, which is over ten…
Personally, the answer is definitely “no.” Honestly, it’s hard to find, first of all, 10 people who will care about you enough, and second of all, 10 people you want to care about you enough.
I am lucky to have one. I find it hard to know what their real motivation is to be close to me. My ex uses reasons that have to do with her daughters to ask for money, all the time. I recently started saying no. but now she has the girls thinking I don’t want to be their mother anymore, so complicated. Other than that I have been in contact with old friends from high school, but one has his own life going on, very fulfilled obviously, another parties, and the most recent, I’m not sure yet. I would think if your in a committed relationship, friends come second to them. So more than one would be to strenuous.
I can’t imagine how hectic it would be to have 10 close friends who wanted to hang out with me and talk to me all the time. I’d never have me-time.
Maybe, but there are only one or two of mine that I would tell anything to.
I think it could be possible, I have a guy friend who literally has about 10 close friends, checks up on everyone, would drop anything he is doing to talk to his friends. Me however, dont have that much energy for my social life. >.<
Definitely hard to achieve 10 true close friends, but it can probably be done. I’m lucky to know that I have 1 close friend!
although i guess you could say it depends on how one defines a “close friend,” i’d say that any more than 3 or 4 is pushing it
Nothing is ever impossible. As long as you run into the right people and not the wrong ones, any amount is possible. However, it is very very difficult but nothing in life is easy.
yeah!
As we are always be close to ours kids, our spouse.but life in general offre different kind of friendship accept all of them ,you will need evry and each one them.
We do not have to go through the journey of life alone. open our heart to evryone, let be love.
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i think it depends on your age because if youre a teenager it is possible because we dont have as much responsibilities as adults. therefore, adults have more responsibilities & dont have time to have 10 friends , although it is possible but difficult.
I have ten total friends…. I would call three of them close….
friends just disappear as time goes by unfortunately…its the real fact
you will be lucky if you have ONE close friend at 30 or 40 yrs old i would think
I guess it’s possible but it would be difficult…
i think 10 is an unrealistic number.
but then again, it all depends on one’s definition of “close.”
youd lose friends having 10 close friends, they’d fight to be your favourite and youd have to rank them. you cannot say that all your 10 friends are your best friends.
no.
I think it depends on what an individual considers “close.” To me, a close friend is someone who I connect with on just about all aspects of my life. Those people are harder to find. But a friend who I love very much, well I guess they could be considered close and then yeah, it’s possible to have ten of those.
Personally, I don’t think so.
I attempted to keep 10+ close friends this year, and there simply isn’t enough time to give the attention each friendship requires.
You can still have a lot of good friends and acquaintances, but unless you have nothing else to do, I don’t think it’s possible.
No Dan. Are you stupid? this is a closed minded blogthis is what makes me mad
I don’t think I could handle having 10 close friends. Two is adequate, with a few acquaintances on the side.
nope. i have trouble keeping up with three close friends..
Not impossible, but certainly improbable. Not only does it take a lot of effort, but there are times when all efforts can backfire.
I’ve a tight group that have held steady for between 3 and 10 years, each member. There’s a total of seven of us. We’ve had our yo-yo moments, our better moments, and our bonehead maneuvers among us, but we’ve somehow made it this far. There are times when we’ll pair off on whatever independent project or what-not, but we gravitate back to the group. Just friends – nothing weird.
I’ve also known other tight friendships that have fallen by the wayside…it happens.
It’s been said that a person’s lucky if s/he’s got one, maybe two true friends in the world. I’m the luckiest little b!tc# I’ve ever known, I swear it!
Of course.