June 25, 2010
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Suicide
I was reading a post where a person mentioned he wanted to commit suicide. Here is the link: Link I was reading the comments and most of them were really caring and showed a desire to help out.
I did read a comment, “If you were going to kill yourself you’d have done it by now, without justification.” MyHomeIsWriting
If a person was really going to commit suicide, do you think the person would cry out for help first?
Comments (185)
Most do, but not an obvious way.
It depends on the person and their situation.
No. Those who do are just desperate for attention, and the suicide threat is a cry for help. Those who don’t have given up completely and don’t give a damn if anyone cares anymore, because they know that the only time that people care about you is when you’re dead. Those are the people who actually do it.
They may or may not, depending on what they’re suicidal about and whether or not they have any mental health issues.
Dependent on the person.
In my experience the ones who ask for help from people they don’t know may attempt suicide, but never have the follow through to actually kill themselves. It’s attention seeking behaviour.
Hmmm, if they only wanted to gain attention or really didn’t want to commit suicide, just wanting to be reassured then I believe they would.
Yes, probably many times.
I did.
@TheDarkCreature - Yep.
I did and it isn’t my fault I failed either…I just didn’t choose the right…thing to do it.
I am tired of all this. =/
It really depends on the person.
I have depression with suicidal tendencies. Usually when someone wants to kill themself, they have tried seeking help before in some shape or form, but no one wanted to listen.. or even bothered paying attention to the signs. When they do attempt it, they’re crying for help; NOT for attention. They need someone to help them get through it, because it’s very tough getting through hard things on your own.
Some will, and some won’t. Either way people shouldn’t act cruelly towards someone who claims that they will.
Suicide is the final exaggeration, so probably.
I think it’s kind of stupid to reach out from a Xanga profile. If you are having such thoughts, then seek out help. Talk to a friend, family member, or professional. This person didn’t really list as to why he was so depressed. I think life in general can be depressing and hard. We all go through it. Every other day I find something to get down about. He needs to find something to live for in his life. A hobby, something that will make him a little happy. It’s annoying when something like that gets featured, though. I mean, is he looking for attention? If he was so down and serious about suicide, then why post it? I agree that he would’ve done it if he was really that depressed and hating his life.
BTW, life is hard. I follow the Bible and it says that this life is full of strife and is not meant to be “happy” all of the time. Which is why whenever I find myself really depressed and unhappy, it’s usually because I haven’t been keeping up my relationship with God.
Not everyone is a believer, so I suggest a hobby or to at least try to make some friends. Keep yourself busy. When you have too much time on your hands, a person will usually find themselves down and out.
no. i think they would just fucking do it.
because if they really wanted to die, they wouldnt tell anyone. they would just do it.
maybe leave a note behind.
but never tell before.
i mean otherwise, it is just a cry for attention.
I don’t mean to sound mean: but in general, I think that people who cry out for help before suicide don’t actually want to die; they just want someone to reach out and help them. They are too cowardly to initiate contact or to face their fear of having the possibility that no one will care, so suiciders result to rash actions in order to gain attention. Most of the people who hear about suicide are going to offer kind words; what else are you supposed to say? GO DO IT!?!? Of course not.
I’m tangent-ing here, but I don’t approve of suicide. It only leads to lies and psuedocompliments and comfort. :l If people need help, I think that they are the only ones that can help themselves.
Yes.
@Ro_ad808 - I agree with them, if they’re going to cry out for help, they’re not going to do it in an obvious way.
That person’s comment was uncalled for.
Sometimes people are simply considering suicide but are looking for a reason not to… hence the cry for help.
Either you offer help, or you ignore them… but goading comments are just pathetic.
I think that they would but honestly when I was feeling suicidal I didn’t let anyone know about it. But must people do ask for help.
they would…
Depending. But we’ve seen over and over again that most suicidal people have told SOMEONE beforehand.
Though I’d imagine if they wrote it in a blog it probably wasn’t gonna happen.
I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want to bother anyone. If I were to commit suicide, it’d be one of those “this world doesn’t deserve me” kind of deals. And if it doesn’t deserve me, it also doesn’t deserve a warning that I’m leaving.
But whether it does or not, I deserve myself, for better or for worse, and have too much pride to escape consequence-free. So you don’t have to worry about me.
Yes, over and over and over…and then they try and they either succeed or fail, and if they fail they ask over and over and over again….until the next time they are driven to try..just speaking from personal experience.
I think it depends on the person and reason for wanting to commit suicide.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with needing some attention. We all do at some time. I didn’t comment but I hope someone gave that person a hug. In reality, not on Xanga. It does make me sad that some people have such hard hearts about the matter.
Nope.
It would be despicable to use suicide threats as a way of getting attention. So I think most people who do that are believing their own hype and honestly think themselves capable of/inclined to suicide. We all cry out for help.
Even if a person didn’t intend to commit suicide, if they said they were and got nothing but blank stares and a bunch of “go and do it then” comments, they just might.
Every suicide threat should be taken seriously.
Women are more likely to use suicide as a cry for help. Men are more likely to just get it over with.
I did. But it depends on the person and the situation, I suppose.
Some do cry out, some do not. Each person reacts in different ways. And yes, granted, many times some just use it to gain some attention.
I know someone who has threatened a lot, but in truth, he is mostly trying to manipulate people to get what he wants by making them feel guilty and responsible for the way his life is going and how he feels. It may be a type of cry for help, but in reality, he would be too afraid to actually do anything to himself. It’s a difficult situation, because if the family takes every threat seriously, that means a lot of expensive trips, sometimes ambulance if police are called, to the psych hospital for assessment and evaluation, always to find that he’s “just fine” and he’s never admitted for more than a night or two – and not even given meds, or if he is, he stops taking them as soon as he signs himself out. He has no health insurance and this “crying wolf” behavior only hurts him in the long run, as he is billed for all of this. Yet on the other hand, better safe than sorry? What of people who repeatedly use suicidal threats to gain attention for themselves? When and where do you draw the line? How do you know for sure?
I think it depends on the person, but I also know that sometimes I have a hard time taking suicide threats seriously. Especially if the person is prone to act out to get attention anyway. That might sound callous, but when I see blogs like that I tend not to comment, because I think it’s almost like rewarding bad behavior.
Of course, not all circumstances are the same.
It depends. Are you punishing someone, or are you just angry? Same thing. You will suffer for this. Love me. I think that’s what they all boil down to unless it’s severe physical pain. Then it’s like, make this stop; I can’t function. I almost offed myself the first few times I lost my emotions becuase life was so pointless. Not like depression. It’s like suffocating in your own body. Haarp should do that shit to people. LOL
I don’t want to kill myself, but I’m the only one I can get to at the moment, so everything zigzags back to me and objects, no animals. Like the person beating his bitchy wife, they go away for my moments. My cats know good and damn well that they’re the welfare kids, and they’re going to saner homes in like a month but nobody but the students want them to dissect and that’s not happening, so they had to stay with me. Funny how systems are the same in the animal world and human one too. Emotion boils, and it’s the reaction that all social animals face to the same conditions; how they react varies. I’m more or less the guy with the shot gun talking circles around the same bastards, different body, same thing, mostly blah,blah, but the day will come when the man who could cry screams.
@Queen_of_You188 - yes, master, it’s usually a last call. It’s like, fuck you and your slight material advantage over me and believe you me, that advantage has always been slight but enough. You have control over me and are hurting me, and I’m expressing my pain in a cry out for desperation. Not me, but them. If some random person walks up and says it, he’s either lying, about to mug you, or he is intoxicated and realized that he needs help but doesn’t want to make the call because then he was attention getting. No, some angel cared; they’re everywhere and they care. I get these because I wander at night. You drive me crazy; I just can’t see. Fight or flight time.
As for the same damn people I’m still circling,
Your hope dies with my body! It’s a fragile ecosystem, desperation. I don’t want your crap–it will be destroyed, but you want me to want for you, and if I have, you’ll take somehow, or I’ll be devoured, like cods to feed. It’s a fragile ecosystem, desperation.
probably. most of the time the serious folk do cry out in some way, first.
however, that doesn’t mean some of the people who make threats aren’t just attention hoarders.
It depends on the situation. Some will and some will not. This closely resembles another post you’ve had where I detailed the various “types” so unless asked, I won’t repeat any of it. One must be very careful when responding harshly though. Some respond well to it but if you are wrong, you could very well puch them over the edge they were tetering on before.
I’m gonna kill myself.
I’ve reached out for help. Repeatedly. Because the help I need is never given.
maybe they’re doing it as a last-chance for hope kinda thing, and it’s comments like that which could probably be the last straw, so I hope that douchebag sleeps well tonight.
@musicmom60 - their bodies will be butched because the pain has to get out; you will be able to see it in blood shot eyes and drug/ substance abuse problems or inside out. Attention seeking will whine and have money. They are scared of the knife, stuff. And that’s how you solve their problem. Once they see patterns of poverty (of any sort, not solely monetary) true, they’ll run for the hills, and we can continue the sacrifice.
I’m definitely always attention-seeking. I don’t want to die. I want to die-destroy. I tried to do the altruism thing and rid the world of its cruelty but then I discovered that existing causes suffering.
No. They’d just do it.
@Colorsofthenight - I know. I’ve been around people like that.
That kid’s a Scorpio;
he’ll get over it soon enough;I’ve known a few Scorpios who were suicidal when young;they survived cuz it’s their life lesson;
Ooh i sound like a new agey idiot.
Sometimes. Not every person that is thinking about suicide is the same.
PostSecret has shown me that by being there for someone, by showing that you care, by listening, you can save a life. That’s what suicide hotlines are for.
Uh…yeah they want to determine who gives enough of a crap about them.
@emberfly_layouts - what a good heart they had, the dead.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB-hUzxgDi0
Depends……speaking as a survivor, sometimes you just want the last word.
Yes. Sometimes for years until everyone who should be helping is numbed to it and assumes it’s just for attention. Next thing you know, the kids come home from school and find their mom dead in the bathtub.
I love when people try and act like fucking experts on this kinda thing or just have no care for the other person. Ignorance! yay!
Not all people are the same. So maybe this kid does wanna really die, but just wants to have that one person push them out of it. He could be a troll. I don’t know him so I have no right to judge him and say how he feels or things NONE of you do. He is the only one that really knows why he wants to die Maybe he is lying to himself and nobody knows why. I don’t know.
If someone’s even thinking about suicide, they’re at risk. If they tell their friends/relatives/etc., they are looking for support and reassurance that they are loved. I don’t care if someone is actually just looking for attention; every warning sign should be taken seriously.
Yes. They would.
We were created to live. Our bodies’ natural order is life. If something is threatening health and life, our bodies hurt because they’re trying hard to get it back to normal, which helps our life. Suicide is the biggest way we can go against nature. So of course you’ll want to cry for help. Deep down we all want to feel like we belong anywhere, even in one person.
i think most people who cry suicide actually do think they are suicidal, whether or not they really are. I think it’s better to show compassion than to decry someone’s pain even if we doubt their “sincerity.” No one tries or says they’re going to commit suicide/thinking of it who isn’t hurting in some way.
Sylvia Plath: nope. Most human beings: a desperate call.
The person may cry out for help but I really do not think they would come on Xanga to talk about it. This is proof that Xanga is full of kind, caring people.
You never know.
They may reach out, they may not. You can’t know with absolute certainly how serious someone is. People seem to have these assumptions that someone who is crying out for help is making idle threats or showing attention seaking behaviour. They may have a plan and a means. Everyone needs to be treated seriously.
And honestly, how crass can you be by telling someone to “just do it already” or minimize their anguish by telling them if they were serious they’d “have done it already”. Some people seem to lack any form of compassion or empathy, it scares me I wouldn’t want to meet any of these people.
People who intend to commit suicide don’t talk about it<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<BIG myth….people who commit suicide DO talk about it many times.
No… I went to school in a really small town where suicides ran rampant, were always random and no one ever saw the signs.
While it may be considered an attempt to call for attention, it should still be viewed as a cry for help.
Personally, I believe if the person truly wanted to die without being stopped, they would commit suicide without crying out, since all hope has already been lost. But if a person doesn’t truly want to die, but just wants to have some control upon their life, they will cry out for help and see if someone has the courage to save them.
Most people who plan to commit suicide don’t tell everyone, hey I’m going to probably kill myself. It’s more likely an attempt at gaining attention whether something is actually wrong mentally or if it’s just a ploy.
Possibly, though most suicides are done in haste or without much thought of being “rescued” but I cant help but agree with the comment in some way.
Openly blogging about being tired and commiting suicide then sitting, waiting and responding to comments makes this particular situation lose significance and realism.
Some people do, some people don’t. I didn’t tell anyone anything when I tried to kill myself. Happily for me now, I failed miserably. However, a friend of mine from school DID leave a note, and then shot herself in the face. Another friend talked about it for so long that people stopped listening and just shrugged it off. He ran his car into a mountainside.
My point is, sometimes you can’t really tell if someone is actually being serious, or if they’re just trying to get some attention. IMO, everyone should treat it as though that person is serious. Even if it is just words, it’s amazing what a show of love can do for someone. Even if that love comes from a bunch of strangers, even if it’s not real, it’s still incredible to hear.
I think they are on the fence. They might be at a point where their thoughts are going in that direction, and they consciously or subconsciously are looking for someone to help them redirect their thoughts/behaviors.
Either way, it warrants a peek.
i have seen some very desolate, ill, homeless people who wanted to end their lives. i have no sympathy for whiny emo bloggers.
I think it depends on the person and the severity of their depression/situation.
In the past when I attempted to take my life, I would leave subtle/vague entries on my xanga. Then I’d take the pills or whatever was handy at the time.
Other times, I’d just do it.
@Shavanna - I agree with people wanting to help themselves, but sometimes we need help and don’t realize it.
More reason to think that there is still hope for this world! Sad that a person has to find their value through xanga, but hey, we live in difficult times.
Sometimes it’s your final way of begging God to reveal the light at the end of the tunnel.
I have some help for those I despise…remember, the cuts go parallel with the arms, not across the wrists.
A majority of the time the person resigned to suicide will only draw attention to their plans by their behavior and their actions….
The cry for help is not always an obvious one. And sometimes it’s not on purpose. But with death being the final straw, why wouldn’t you try to find one thing, anything, to stop you?
I think people who do like that are not really wanting to die.
It has been known to happen that a person who later actually commits suicide either attempts it more than once or has some kind of cry for help before they actually do it. After what happened with that one loser I now take Xanga cries for help with a solid helping of salt. But I imagine that those who reach out via Xanga, probably just want some affirmation and kindness.
I would rather someone reach out for help than go ahead and kill themselves.
people need to stop being such fucking idiots and realize that a person’s suicidal thoughts are not a “cry for attention” or something like that. it may be for some people but most who are really suicidal don’t go seeking attention.
You’re becoming predictable, Dan. I knew this post was in the works. I think a majority of those who commit suicide don’t make others aware of their plans. We’re supposed to observe, acknowledge and act on the little signs they toss out to us. If it’s not too late.
No. If they were really going to do it, they wouldn’t want anyone to talk them out of it.
It really just depends on the person. Usually if they’re going to I think they would be more likely to reach out to their friends or family. The individual in this post obviously expressed not having such positive relationships, thus posting online. the issue with this is it is much easier for people to dwell on their sorrows, as the response to just about every person who reached out was something along the lines of “no one care.” – no matter how many people responded. It’s a continuous cycle. “no one cares.” “I care.” “no one cares” “I care”…. If it were me, I would use personal relationships as more a cry for help, while the internet would be more of the place to reveal then follow through, unless specifically coming out and asking for help.
@MarteenMullins - for a lot of ppl, it is a cry for help. Maybe not a cry for simply spotlight attention, but yes, for help. Not everyone who is suicidal WANTS to die, the simply want their problems to be over. And this is the only way they see feesable. Also, if you look at some of the methods people choose, the are not very affective sometimes – i.e ODing on over the counter low dose drugs. (yes, they CAN kill you, but not high on the reliability scale). This is simply enough to draw attention and make it known you are struggling.
I just went through quite a fright a few months ago with one of my children my child has always been morose and a little dark sort of goth in appearance and highly dramatic… so when my child spoke of death no one really listened until we got a call that my child was in the hospital after trying to take their life… never again will I ever take it for granted that my darling child is just being dramatic once again… this thought me a valuable lesson as far a Xanga I think when there are post like that that there should be a way to report it and notify the authorities so it can be checked out…
They might. I assume it would depend on the person. If I saw someone talking about how they were considering suicide, my first impression would be that they are seriously depressed and suicide is the only solution they see.
Depends on the person, and “calling out for help” may not seem like that, instead it may seem like desperate pleas for attention/breakdowns. It’s rarely like, “help me, I want to kill myself”
I would think so. Even if they didn’t, their behavior or their attitude should definitely indicate that there is something wrong. My sister tried to commit suicide twice. The first time when she was 16 and my parents wouldn’t allow her to date her boyfriend who was 6 years her senior. She was moody, argumentative, aggressive, depressed – all warning signs that could potentially lead to a disastrous situation, and one day when everyone was out, she grabbed a bottle of advil and swallowed the whole thing. When we got home, we saw that she was unconscious and rushed her to the ER. She could of died of overdose but luckily she survived. She did the same thing about 2 years ago while her and her husband got into an explosive argument. Fortunately, she also made it through that one too.
Yes. Many, many people who do go on to commit suicide did call out for help first – and did not get the help they needed and asked for. Please, don’t ever ignore someone who is suicidal and crying out for help. They need help, or they wouldn’t be asking.
It depends. This can go both ways, depending on the person and situation.
Some people would, yes. And some people woudn´t. Some people want someone to tell them life is worth something and more importantly that someone, no matter who, cares enough to react to that cry for help. I don´t think it is relevant if the person is searching for attention or not. They probably will be in mosts cases, but in general, when we human beings search for attention it is because somehow we don´t feel loved enough and need someone to reasure us we mean something.
either way its a cry for help. if they’re using a suicide threat for attention them something is wrong.
some people do cry out for help not because they want to commit suicide to DIE, but because they just want to pain to go away. many figure suicide is the last choice if their suffering will not end, theyre not killing themselves because they want to die. in many cases like this yeah, the person will cry out for help first because all they really want is for the pain to go away.
Yes. That person is asking for help not attention. If they don’t get the help they need in a timely fashion, they will become even more depressed although they probably don’t think it can get worse. He/she is one step away from the dark place where no one else will matter, and he/she will just do it with no more talking. This person is not quite there to that level yet, but this is crisis mode.
Make sure to write a mocking post if this person does kill himself. You gotta follow your traditional values, Danny boy.
Yes, it’s definitely a cry for help because no one has paid attention otherwise. They’re not attention whore, just people who need some human TLC. One who really wants to commit suicide will jump off a 10 story building. There’s no going back on that one.
Its highly unlikely they’d do it on xanga.
I wouldn’t know as I’ve never been in that position. However, I do tend to think that if a person was really going to kill himself, he would do it without telling anyone.
Dear Dan,
As usual, you distill what can (and has, according to comments I just read) be a discussion into a simple question which of course can’t just be answered with a yes or a no.
When I read the news this morning that Michael Jackson is “coming off of one of the biggest years of his career” I couldn’t help but think of the song “Goodbye Eddie” from one of my favortie movies, Brian de Palma’s 1974 “Phantom of the Paradise.” In the song, a popular singer commits suicide just so his latest album would go to the top of the charts and his sister can have a much needed operation.
I wonder if I’m going to live to see a popular singer commit suicide just so their latest record will make lots of money! (Michael Jackson was inadvertently murdered by his doctor. He didn’t want to die.)
To get back to your actual question. I think nowadays wrting a warning on a social network site like Xanga or Facebook is just as credible to the internet generation as any other method. I haven’t run any numbers, but off the top of my head, I’d think the younger the potential suicide, the more chance he would give warnings. Older people who off themselves would probably just pull the trigger. (And hopefully they wouldn’t be mad at anyone, or else they might take half a dozen other people with them, sad to say.)
Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
I think it can be a cry for help but also a test, i.e. “If anyone cares enough I’ll stick around, otherwise…)
It can become a way of applying pressure to one’s self for the follow through.
It may be an extreme form of seeking attention, when you are really unstable and depressed.
But all of you who call him an attention seeker, and a fool,Isnt there always a reason behind attention seeking?he wouldent just do it for nothing would he?He simply wants reassurance in my opinion
Some people legitimately don’t know what else to do. It doesn’t always mean it’s for attention although it definitely can be a ploy to get sympathy (which, I think we can all agree is selfish and hurtful to the people who love them). Sometimes it’s a desperate cry for help. Sometimes they don’t want to die but things seem that bad.
If it were my son or daughter, I’d thank God they reached out to anyone before they did it, whether it was me or someone through their blog.
All of these generalizations people make are pointless anyway because everyone is different. However, you can look up real statistics and warning signs for suicide if you’re legitimately interested in knowing more. Even then it’s not one hundred percent but still good information.
http://www.suicide.org/suicide-statistics.html
http://www.suicide.org/suicide-warning-signs.html
No. When I was going to do it, I didn’t cry for help, because I thought it’d actually be beneficial for others if I was gone. Of course I was wrong, but I was depressed. I think I had a much higher chance of dying than the ones who wanted to selfishly do it for attention, simply because no one could have possibly been there to stop me. But hey, that’s not to say that depressed attention seekers don’t need help. People cry for help because they want to be heard. They want to be understood, and they want someone there to comfort them, help them, or to tell them that everything will be OK. Chances are, if a person wants someone to be there but no one is and they commit sucide only to get back at those who are still alive, they’re more likely to cry out for help than not – I don’t think they really want to die, but that isn’t to say they won’t do it out of a fit of anger or selfishness.
It depends on the person and the situation.
I think suicide should be taken a little bit more seriously instead of being posted, but at least the person calls out for help instead of just give up. Who likes people who randomly give up? It’s usually taken as pitiful. Though, if the reason of giving up on live is talked often and continuously, the person would seem like an attention whore. So props on the people who talk it out to the full extent~
No. If they were serious, they would do it.
well seeing as the person updated their post to say he isnt going to do it…im gonna say he may have intended to, but he certainly didnt think it all the way through. he didnt ever say how he intended to do it to any of the commenters…which makes me believe he didnt actually have a plan yet.
Statistically, it’s unlikely that he’ll succeed on his first try, even though he’s male( more men commit suicide, more women “attempt” it.) It actually inspired me to write a post about common mistakes in actually committing the act, but I don’t want to publish it yet to capitalize on the topic like so many others. @Starshine_Faerie - I disagree, posting on an internet blog site about this sort of topic is the same as any other topic, you will get polar opposite opinions regardless.
@TheDarkCreature - That is also my experience. It’s usually the people that write a few post mail letters to family and friends(though the unselfish usually don’t), organize their affairs before hand, update their will, then chamber a round and discharge, who actually do the damn deed. Not the people who talk about it to strangers like it’s their hobby.
@Uek - well naturally you’ll get opposing opinions the moment you hit the post button. =D I’m jus sayin’… wait what did I say anyway? *scrolls* oh, yeah.
I still think you should either help them or ignore them in that case because it is still a person’s life, and even if it’s some twisted mind grinning to himself over all the people who are freaking out, I wouldn’t want to take the chance of posting some goading comment that pushes them over the edge. I just think it’s wrong. Buuut, as we know, it’s me thinking and there are plenty who disagree. =]]
Sometimes…yes…it depends on a couple of factors like if they have a gun available (or some other means) and how sick they are.
My dad committed suicide two weeks ago. He wrote a Facebook note hours before he had done it; saying that he was done with everything, done with life, done with the people in it, etc. Unfortunately, this didn’t give us enough time to reach out to him and do anything to stop him because he wasn’t home when the note was posted, and he made it impossible for anyone to get ahold of him those last few hours.
I once worked at a teen service hotline where we fielded calls regarding everything from homework help to suicide threats. We were trained to believe that people who really want to kill themselves DO want help. Which is where we came in.
A common reason cited by those considering suicide is that they feel unappreciated and unloved. You’d be surprised how much just listening to someone vent can help him.
Many times they do, but not always. I’ve heard of several scenarios where the person (usually a man in cases around here) commits suicide without any apparent warning and takes everyone totally by surprise. While it seems like most people who commit suicide show a few warning signs, others, perhaps the more determined, goal-oriented type, decide on it and don’t want to be stopped. Thus, they hide their plans completely until it is too late.
most people who are very serious about their desire to commit suicide would just do it. without crying out for help. because they don’t want help, they want to die. also, men are far more likely to follow through with suicide attempts because they are more likely to use a serious and powerful means of it as opposed to women. men pick things like guns, crazy car crashes and jumping off buildings where as women are more likely to slit their wrists or pop pills.
Probably… I also think that it I cry for help through suicide can be a cry for attention, which we all need from time to time. Everyone likes to know they are loved.
@Queen_of_You188 - took the words right out of my mouth.
Anyone who would want to make a spectacle of it to millions of strangers is simply crying out for attention (imo). Those who are really suicidal would have just done it, rather than telling the world “im going to kill myself because no one cares” blah blah blah.
@oooh_itz_vvn - I do that a lot
if they really thought that legitimately no one cared enough to stop them from wanting to die, i don’t think they’d bother with the plea for attention. they’d have their mind made up. people who do cry out, however, [i think] haven’t made up their mind yet, but they’re attempting to explore the possibility and gauge reactions in order to make their decision.
Seriously? Was this post really necessary? You know people are going to post hurtful comments on here and the person who this post is essentially about is probably going to read them. Suicide is a very serious thing and should not be messed around with. Can we all please stop making the situation worse?
Yes, suicide is a contemplation of emptiness. That soul desperately needs to feel some worth to their existence. A cry for help means that they are not yet depleted, and that there is a chance to help them. The one that won’t/can’t cry out has resolved itself the the grip of pain so great there is no other hope for relief than to end it all.
I’d say yes, they would reach out.
I mean, how much can you lose if your next step is suicide?
Might as well try all you can to see who’s out there.
I think people that announce they’re going to kill themselves aren’t really going to do it, they just want attention for whatever problems they have or feeling. Of course, I don’t speak for everyone. But if I was going to off myself, I would do it secretly because I would convinced nobody cared anyway.
I don’t think this person was serious. But then again, I don’t know anything about the, uh, “Process” that leads to killing yourself. Maybe he was serious and wanted help.
no.
if you were serious about offing yourself, you’d just do it.
i mean, if you were in THAT much “misery” and self-hate, you wouldn’t want anyone to be there to try to stop you.
suicide’s not a fucking joke. so people really need to quit using it to get an ego-boost from people’s sympathy.
@oooh_itz_vvn - eexactly.
Usually it’s just a cry for attention really……
I too, suffer from depression and something far worse….and even suicidal tendencies and I have actually tried to kill myself a few times before and usually no one knows..nor do I tell anyone(and I still have scars on my arms). Though life is hard and depressing, you do have to get over it. Life is always so hard….it will never be easy..
@quietmeteorshowers - Ughh, I completely agree. If you’re actually going to kill yourself but wanted help because “maybe there’s a way out,” you’d see a psychiatrist/therapist/etc. or confide in a close friend/family member. I feel that this was partially an attempt to get attention.. and, unfortunately, it worked.
I have seen the results (estimate: 150) of two kinds of suicide: successful and non-successful. The successful type we call a DRT (dead right there.) The non-successful type we call an attempt. Non-successful types usually involve either wrist-cutting or swallowing too many pills. The successful type usually involve either some kind of rope around the neck or a bullet to the brain. There is one gray-area type that sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t – the start-every-gas-motor-in-the-closed-up-garage-and-sit-in-the-car type. ’CO suicide’ can leave survivors with a whole host of chronic ailments for the rest of their life. So can that Ibuprofen OD. I’ve also been called out on a lot when somebody has threatened suicide, but did absolutely nothing. No pills. No cuts. No guns. They just said they were going to, and during my assessment and interview they tend to reveal that they don’t really want to hurt themselves, but things aren’t going their way and they use the threat as leverage. There’s always room for an anomoly, though.
Of course, I’m no psychiatrist or psychologist. I can only speak of what I’ve seen. But from those I’ve talked to it seems apparent the non-successful attempts are usually not really trying; the attempt is their plea for help. Those that are successful were not surprises to the people who knew them, but neither were there signs of what would happen. What I have seen more than enough of (fifteen or so) is tween girls cutting themselves because they have some kind of issues and want to talk to a proffessional, but are not allowed to by their parents. I, or somebody in a similar uniform, end up being a door for their treatment.
I don’t think it’s a cry for negative attention, lets get that straight. I think if they mentioned it then they are scared and they do want help but they don’t know where to seek the help from. I mean it would be absolutely different if a person was mentioning it every day saying how they want to die and they were going to do it, because then that is just a negative cry for attention and seriously, it’s not something you should boast about doing just so a few people can tell you every day why you shouldn’t.
I think there’s a big difference in the two.
It really depends. Most people give one final cry for help first.
I don’t think anyone really WANTS to commit suicide… it’s just their last resort.
everyone is different and do different things. what’s important is to recognize is that intention carries more weight than their actions or inactions. some people are impulsive and may hurt themselves without any warning signs. in others, we may see all the signs (giving property away, calling people they haven’t talked to in a long time, settling financial affairs, etc.). no matter HOW or WHAT people do, it’s our responsibility to recognize that a problem exists and address it, instead of egging them on.
@Born261YearsTooLate - interesting, especially that last part about tweens. what do you do? and who would you have been 261 years ago?
Yes they would. Many many people give numerous signs that they are contemplating suicide. Unfortunately they don’t always come strait out and say it. There was another girl on xanga earlier this year who did end up killing herself after about 5 different posts over a year saying she would. 4 times she was fine, the 5th time her friend had to tell us that she was gone. People should NEVER take a suicide threat lightly, especially on something like a blog, because you never know if that time is going to be the time. After reading her previous posts I realized just how many signs she had shown of suicide and I never saw it till it was too late. And think about this, if it was you who made that comment and the next day found out that the person really did kill themselves, how would you feel?
In case anyone from Xanga ever reads this, I would make a suggestion to try and create a Xanga Suicide Watch or helpline of sorts. In other words a way to help people who are posting things that show signs of suicidal behavior or contact people who can help when someone does say they are going to kill themselves. If someone had been able to get to this girl shortly after she posted then there is a good chance she might be alive still today and getting help.
Depends on the person and their reasons.
Yes. Most people definitely show signs in a very big way.
A person who really wants to kill themselves is going to do it without posting about it or making a big to do over it.
With that being said those that say “I’m going to kill myself” are asking for help. They’ve gotten to the end of their rope and it seems like death would be a release from the pain but there is still a part of them that wants to go on and somehow, any way find the help they need.
A lot of people do, or at leat try/want to. Maybe they’re just not sure how to get that help.
In most cases, people don’t really want to die. They just want the pain to end, and they don’t know any other way to go about fixing their problem except suicide.
Usually not. I feel most people who cry out for help are either a) yes calling out for attention or b) using a rational part of their brain to buffer and be like whoa just in case dude.
But no f that. Most people don’t give you a memo on your desk. They just do it. Nike.
Do not confuse “cry for help” with “cry for attention.”
I’m an RN at a psychiatric hospital and I have many suicidal patients. For most, it is a cry for help, and there are many common actions suicidal people exhibit before committing suicide. They may start to give all of their belongings away, suddenly show happiness for no apparent reason after a long period of depression, etc.. These are precipitating signs that the person has a suicidal plan in mind and that they are fully determined to go through with it. Someone blatantly saying that they want to kill themselves is a huge, and most obvious, sign of suicidal ideation that will lead to suicidal attempts.
A suicidal person who is depressed would typically not “just do it” and kill themselves without any warning, whether subjective or objective. Whether others realize it or not, there are signs of suicidal thoughts that don’t involve “emo rants” or cutting yourself.
And just throwing this out there — suicidal thoughts are considered an emergency, and any patient in any hospital that is suicidal is not allowed to be left alone by a nurse and will be brought to a psych ward via an ambulance.
@DuckifiedAngel14 - As a person with depression, and someone associated with a long-running trend of family depression, I can honestly say I don’t agree when you say that “when someone wants to kill themself, they
have tried seeking help before in some shape or form, but no one wanted
to listen.”
To explain more elaborately, my depression was just mild enough to cope, and just intense enough to still understand the complexities of the mental disorder. But I spent close to 6 years climbing out of a hole and watched my entire family struggle against the same thing during the journey. So, as such, I would say that in most cases, the person not only hasn’t tried that hard (if at all), but they actually excuse trying as an option, “because nobody cares.” Don’t get me wrong, I can understand the concept, “Everybody tries for help in some way…” But I think if we’re being serious we can all agree that depression shuts down enough rational function that even if you wanted to beg for help, you wouldn’t stand a chance.
Most suicides are committed without any warning, at least that’s what I remember from my psychology class. Most suicides are a cry for help, but it’s too late. It’s not for attention, but most cases the suicidal person does not tell anyone of his or her plans and just goes and acts.
@royal_diadem - I am a firefighter/paramedic in the fourth most populated city in Ohio. Our department runs on some 24,000 calls a year.
Had I been born in 1700 I’d likely have been sailing the seas. I have a parrallel between firefighters and pirates, but this isn’t the forum for that.
Likely. I have.
It would depend on the situation and what was driving the suicidal behaviour…some suicides are accidents (i.e. people jumping off bridges because they think they can fly during a manic/psychotic episode), but the ones driven by a need to escape the terror of your mind…you look for anything to stop the terror…and if someone were to ask how you were…well, I’d be so inclined to break down even though I had a plan (I have).
@nodnarbassoon - exactly,
@Megan@revelife - Agreed. Everyone says ‘attention-seeking’ like it’s some horrible thing.
We have no right to judge this person or anyone else. We don’t know what’s in their heads or where their hearts are. Either they’re really going to do it, or they just need some love and affection. Either way, they need something, and we can only hope they get it, since we may not be able to give it ourselves.
No i dont think so. I’ve wanted it all to just end before and not been able to do anything about it, i think thats when you cry out. When you just can’t take it anymore but you still can’t bring yourself to do it.
Yes, obviously, many people who commit suicide cry out for help in some way first. This much should be obvious from countless actual cases, there are almost always signs beforehand – some more overt than others. Anyone who asserts otherwise is doing really bad armchair psychology.
you know. sometimes you ask interesting questions on this blog. but then sometimes, with posts like this, you answer questions that are factual knowledge with statistics that are easy to look up. do you just enjoy listening to blogging teenagers spout their holier-than-thou opinions about everything knowing that there is a correct answer?
I dont get it. If you were interested, you’d look it up.
Apparently, a lot of people who commit suicide do threaten it first.
If I was ever really going to commit suicide, I would probably just do it. It depends on your personality, I guess.
This person just wants attention, most people who really do commit suicide do it while the people around them are completely clueless that they were depressed in the first place.
You don’t reach out through a blog or other networking site. You reach
out to your last hope of someone who could possibly care. Just saying,
“you guys suck I’m going to kill myself now, kbye” is just a cry for
attention. Why would your last action be updating your blog, if obviously in your
mind nobody actually cares? It’s nothing more than a plea and if they do reach out, it’s not publicly known.
I said goodbye when I attempted suicide in April, but I did not ask for help. It was impulsive, there was no time for help. I just shoved dozens of pills down my throat and said goodbye to my boyfriend and best friend.
But I was found by my mother and taken to the hospital.
Some people will cry out for help, some won’t. Nobody does things exactly the same. I never have any of the times I attempted, actually, but that is just me.
It’s very bad behavior to be disrespectful to somebody online, whom you don’t know in real life unless you actually have the balls to say what you have to say, to their face. It’s also very bad behavior to go and kick a man when he is down, especially a man who has done nothing to you. Aside from the fact that there are a lot of really nutty people on Xanga nowadays. i’ve met more nut jobs on here than I can count.
@callherunique - You’re very nice to look at, in terms of your profile picture. When you took the overdose you probably scared the shit out of your mom and your boyfriend and your best friend. I guess you were talking about April 2010. Anyway, I hope that you are getting counseling, and that it is helping you, and that you aren’t taking dozens of pills anymore darling. Be safe.
Yes, I think they would. It’s human nature, I think.
Most people would reach out in some sort of way, but like another posted said, it wouldn’t be an obvious outcry. It’ll show in their actions, in their behaviour which most people should know the signs so that they can see it if I friend is having difficulty.
but just like another person has said before… they may not really want to die, they just need the attention and yes, it is a negative kind of attention but when someone is hurting that’s better then nothing. People shouldn’t be harsh or unaccepting, if you don’t like what people have to write, then get over it and go to another page. You have no right to bash on this person on their own web blog to be honest, and it’s not going to help. you’re just showing what a nasty asshole you are.
Personal experience tells me that yes, a person is very likely to cry out for help before doing so.
Back in the early 80′s a friend of mine was visiting when he told me that his life was just not worth living and that he was going to take a shotgun and blow his head off.
I talked to him, actually we both talked and cried. I told him that those who knew him and loved him would not want him to take such a drastic turn. He felt no one loved him. I believed that I had convinced him otherwise as well naming the many mutual friends we had that loved him as well.
A week later my mother in law came up to my apartment and asked the name of the friend that had visited me. I told her, after which she reluctantly handed me that days newspaper. His obituary was there, and while there was no mention of cause of death I knew that Steven had done as he told me he was going to do.
Never have I felt such a feeling of loss or sense of failure.
A lot of suicides do happen without warning unfortunately.
However a cry for help doesn’t mean help isn’t needed.
I agree with that person that said that comment. If you want to kill yourself – then go ahead and do it. If you wanted help you should ask for – not by saying you’re going to kill yourself because that’s just asking for attention. If he really was going to kill himself he would’ve done it and not broadcast it to the whole world – which again, is just asking for attention. And attention seekers should just disappear – I’m tired of them.
they would only cry for help if they really didnt want to commit suicide. trying to see if someone out there at least cares for them, no one would give anyone a heads up if they were really going to off themselves.
Maybe they had no one else to turn to. The internet is a good place for solicited support.
On that note…anyone ever hear of 90-day Jane?
I think they’d cry out for help first. IMO, most people don’t want to die — they just want to end the [emotional] hurt. And for whatever reason, if they feel that the pain knowingly cannot be ceased or eased in any way, they resort to suicide. By crying out for help, potential suiciders see if there is anybody who gives enough of a shit to try to alleviate the pain. With no response, they see more reason to kill themselves, because there’s no one who truly cares.
in my experiance, people who cry out in a public forum type of way are attention seekers with nothing but pity for how their life is going at the moment. the people who show few or no signs of depression, or suicidal thoughts, are the ones to look out for. having dealt with many people over my 33 years in such situations, i really have no sympathies for the attention seekers (usually kids from good homes and with no real down and dirty problems, who might be mad that mommy and daddy arent doing everything to please them right now, this very second). find some new friends, take up a hobby and stop pretending your life is the worst thing ever to happen to mankind.. life is what YOU make it, life is NOT what happened to you. there will always be dark places, embrace them for what they are, and move on. ~my 5 cents…
@MamaInkWench - if a person has made that comitment to themselves, there isnt anything you can do or say to change their mind. i know it must have been gut wrenching to find out about your friend, im sorry for the loss. all im saying is you couldnt have said anything to make him see the proverbial light, its not your fault he did what he did.. dont feel like a failure.
People who really want to die don’t scream it to the world in fear someone will do something to stop them.
Suicide posts are for sympathy mongering attention whores.
i can’t believe you put a link to that in here.
it’s a cry for help. attention seeking. but if they really wanted to, they just would.
I agree with most it depends on the person and situation, like when I was (or relapse as of now) I don’t like telling anybody. But that’s just me.
It depends on the personality type of the person. Many do cry out. They are typically NOT attention seeking, so stop saying that everyone. *rolls eyes* Many cry out because they feel worthless and want to know that there is a reason to live. It is not that they will not attempt/commit suicide, rather they feel lost and want a reason to live and not kill themselves.
To some of those that have commented:
Get a heart, stop saying that anyone who reaches out is attention seeking. That is one reason why so many people attempt and commit suicide and then their friends and family feel confused and do not understand why. People do not want to be considered attention seeking… however I’d rather someone reach out so I can help them!!
There are many who cry out for help and still attempt or commit suicide.
Do not create generalizations or throw out stereotypes and misunderstandings until you’ve actually felt suicidal. Even if you have and you reacted in a different way… different people respond differently.
I’m quite tired of hearing that people who reach out for help are attention seeking.
There are some that are attention seekers, do not get me wrong. I do not like that many people use this as a way to get attention. However, it is not as common as everyone makes it out to be. Also, if they are using this extreme measure to get attention, shouldn’t some kind of help be given to them… or at least someone to tell them to change or help them change?
Signs of depression and suicidal intentions are not always obvious until someone speaks up about it. So again, you may not know if those you believe are attention seekers are really depressed or suicidal.
@Born261YearsTooLate - oh wow, cool– both what you’re doing now and what you wish you were.
Suicide should never be taken lightly, even if its just for attention… They still need help, even if many don’t care to give out that helping hand. They still need help, and I hope that guy who said he was going kill him self , will get the help he need from here on.
It depends. Some people want to kill themselves because so many things have gone wrong, etc. Whatever their motive is on top of, they think that no one cares about them, so they have nothing.
But, if someone does care, then that makes it worth trying to get through everything else.
But if they have no one, then what’s the point? That’s the way I see it anyway.
I’m usually torn on these suicide posts on Xanga because so many are just looking for attention, but when it comes to those I know or people who are genuine that I don’t know, I’m reminded of a story I read on an actual person who walked to a bridge to commit suicide. He had written a note that said “If just one person smiles at me on my way, I won’t jump.” He died that day.
I suppose because of this, I choose to be that person that smiles.
I think they would. I believe people who want to commit suicide doesnt really want to do it, but they dont see any other way but suicide
if you show them there is another way, they won’t do it.
@ThistlesInWinter - The dreaded proverbial light, wouldn’t it be nice if everyone had it automatically ingrained in them. Hind sight, almost thirty years after the event, gives me to see that there was nothing I could do. Even now, I would see the proverbial light and still try to help them see it as well.
I think too many people look at someone who has said “I am going to do….” and do not believe the person is capable of the act, let alone that they have the commitment.
Then of course there are those who do not consciously know or speak out about the possibility. I am one of those. My inner being took the commitment and ran while my outer being was caught on a ride that it was not even aware of.
No. But it’s not necessarily about attention. Sometimes they thing they’re really going to do it. Sometimes they might even try. But i think if you’re going to kill yourself you just do it. Posting it on xanga is looking to be saved, in my opinion. He didn’t want to die, he was incredibly alone & didn’t want to be alone anymore. Through his post he found he wasn’t alone because so many people wanted to help. So he changed his mind. I think that’s strong, not attention seeking. You don’t dare someone to kill themselves because even if someone doesn’t want to die, sometimes they might do it simply because everyone says they won’t. Some of the comments were really wrong.. you wanna goad someone into killing themselves? Congrats. You just assisted in killing someone. Feel good about yourself now?
Kudos to those who commented pleasant things. Dealing with suicidal thoughts is extremely hard & sometimes all we need is to know there’s someone out there who cares.
Usually no… but sometimes, yes. And in any case, anyone disturbed enough for such a spectacle does need help.
My friend told me he wanted to.
Then he did it.
Is that a cry for help?
@Uek - I will be thrilled to see your post, when you decide to make it public.
Out of personal experience, those who want to kill themselves cry out for help one way or another before making a final stand against their own life.
And most of the time, that desperate cry may be their last.
I did, and when people said I just did it for attention seeking makes me just want to do it all over again. Just shoot myself.
That probably doesn’t make any sense, but oh well.
Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t but take every threat of suicide seriously. This is one situation that you don’t want to call someone’s bluff.
Yes.
Some may, some may not. If they do, whether it may seem as if they’re seeking for attention, I think it’s necessary to help them either way. It’s more reasonable to do that rather than taking the risk for them to actually commit suicide.
People who commit suicide are so selfish. They don’t even think about how their families and friends would react. I hate it.
Yeah.
I once was with a guy who would complain incessantly about suicidal thoughts. One by one, people had sort of dropped off, tired of hearing it, and disbelieving him. He even went so far as to perform mock-up suicide setups – with varying levels of depression, amusement, bemusement…
I had gotten into an argument with him. God knows what the topic was – it all took place in ’86, I was fifteen. The landlady was outside, feeding her dogs, when she heard a loud report, then screams.
I didn’t hear anything at the time…then slowly came to realize, the screams were me. That night I washed brain matter out of my hair. Shotgun.
Yeah, I’d pretty well guess that whether they’re serious or not, they’re certainly applying a cry for help of some sort. I don’t think there’s anything else I can add to that.
I think so and they’re just crying out for help.