August 14, 2010
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Negativity Online
I was talking to my wife tonight and she was mentioning that her boss had viewed negative comments about herself on Facebook. Apparently her boss had read some messages in comments where people took swipes at her.
My wife said, “People tend to be more negative online than they are in real life.”
Are you more negative online than in real life?
Comments (112)
Online IS real life. That’s the problem.
No
I’m more real online than in reality… if that makes sense.
Yes, but in real life strangers tend to be significantly less moronic.
Nope.
It’s easier for people to be negative because they can hide behind a computer. I wish people could just man up and say it to peoples’ faces. Or how about we all just stop being such assholes?
ugh, 7th. what a terrible day.
Yup because they can hide online..it’s easier for people to be mean and rude online than in real life..at least I think so.
I’m always me.
It might just be easier for some people to hide behind a computer screen when letting out their real feelings toward a person. Most people don’t have the balls to say that shit in person.
I agree with I_Create. but if they were to be separated, then I’d say no.
@ShimmerBodyCream - I greatly disagree. you just haven’t talked to them long enough.
I’m not sure. I know it certainly is easier to be more negative.
People tend to have more guts to say negative comments in front of a screen rather than in person.
Nope.
I’m just as bitchy.
Well I mean, since these days bitchy = having common sense & speaking your mind.
@SexyGamerGirl - Agreed. I show mine very subtly in real life also.hahah
@jeantwohawks - Agreed.
More negative, but also more positive as well probably.
Nah, generally not negative.
im just as negative in real life…
Yes.
I’m pretty much the same.
Heck, my entire blog is negative about pretty much everything, yet I’m not like that at all in real life. Go figure.
@ShimmerBodyCream - THIS
I get insulted constantly online when compared to IRL. Being anonymous means you can say things to people you’d never say to their face.
im always me. i never put on an act for people. if i dont like them i’ll tell them. i think thats how people should be anyways. people taking stabs at people online is just a childish way to do it i think.
I think that I censor myself less online, especially when I’m on a site that I have no affiliation with people I know in person. So it really depends, I think I just get to more “extremes” when talking online.
perhaps her boss is struggling with what she has discovered about herself, and about what others think of her. in real-time, her workers evidently would never feel comfortable telling her the truth.
online, I’m basically the same.
Anonymity brings out the worst in people. =/
I used to be more positive… then I just started being myself – who is still positive sometimes!
perhaps, but only about myself.
people find that if their face or voice isn’t attatched to it it is easier to be rude.
umm… im more outspoken online than real life. i know exactly what im saying and i have time to think about what im saying too
pple think that attacking someone online is going to be anonymous but there’s always a way to find out
pretty equal. there are a few times that i am mean on online but only because i can’t say what needs to be said without getting in an uproar face to face.
I am far more outspoken and willing to argue online. I am actually very shy in real life. People will say they are the exact same, but I would bet they are lying or just not really being honest with themselves. I think people who feel the need to constantly talk about being “real” are probably the biggest fakes. And no I’m not talking about someone who already commented in this post at all. Not at all :-/
no, not really. i think it just seems like it because i don’t talk much in real life. HA!
I think that people are more obnoxious online because they seek the attention they lack in real life. Like it’s a way of validating their otherwise uninteresting lives. :/
No, I don’t think so.
I think people are more free online, when perhaps they shouldn’t be. This tends to ameliorate negativity online.
Your poor wife! That’s awful, why would they be badmouthing her online?
I’m more myself online than in real life, though I am not more negative.
I’m not usually the ball of happiness and sunshine offline that I am online.
I try to be and I want to be positive. Being negative only just drag you through life SLOWLY. It is good seeing people smile. The only reason people would be so negative is to make themselves feel better. To bring down other people down to their level.
And that is just poor taste, which leaves metal flavor in my mouth. Nasty.
I’m just the opposite because I know how it hurts if done online.
Are you so sure they were just negative comments? Or are they actual flaws?
I think most people are, yes. Seeing as how words like “asshole” seem to be more shocking to people online than in real life.
This is I think… the third time… you have sent me a friend request. No particular offense; but I’m just not at all interested.
I say whatever I want in places like this because it doesn’t matter what people think. In real life, it’s no good to be rude.
If I don’t like someone/their post, I’ll tell them online. I wouldn’t tell someone I didn’t like them in real life, because that’s just stupid. I would just not go out of my way to interact with them.
I’m the same.
I’m actually nicer here.
@CallMeQuell - It wasn’t his wife. It was his wife’s boss.
No, not really.
I think people are more negative online because it’s very easy to post something negative and not have someone instantly call you out on it. On a similar note, I have a job in a call center taking inbound calls from customers (“inbound” meaning we’re not calling them–they are calling us). We used to have walk-in offices and my co-workers said that ever since the switch a few years ago, some customers have become much nastier to employees. When a person is face-to-face with another real person, they are not as likely to swear at that person or take anything out on them. However, with the anonymity of over the phone communication where I and my co-workers are faceless beings, we are subjected to not just outright rude comments but attacking and abusive ones, most of which would not happen in a face-to-face interaction. We are sworn at, threatened, and called every name in the book at times. Of course, there are always some people who interact with others like that in every facet of their life, but for the majority of people, the anonymity seems to encourage negative behavior.
its more hit and miss for me being negitive online. i’m generally nice but sometimes i get irritated with stupid people who ask pointless questions (like online when people ask you how to do stuff that is explained to them or extremely easy.
some people i know are nice in person but very hateful online
@I_Create - Exactly. I’ve seen a million people say extremely stupid things on facebook, just because they don’t realize how “real” it is.
Nope. Not really.
@I_Create - I agree. People try to say that it’s all just people trying to be someone that they aren’t but it’s the total opposite.
AND Dan, I am pretty much clear in my opinion and positivity in person. I LOOK for positive and try to make everyone else that is feeling negative to lighten up. I seem mean on here sometimes because I love sarcasm. (I really do love you Danny Boy) ..
@ShimmerBodyCream - Agreed!!!
People are negative torwards others all the time,in your personal life it’s called backstabbing but the whole world doesn’t get to see it,only the person you talk to. THATS the difference between internet and “real life”
I’m not, but I come off as more cold. I think it’s because I’m not stuttering or using fillers. I just say shit because I write with more flow than I talk. Plus, it’s hard to be warm and fuzzy through type, although it’s possible with lots of hahahah’s, lololol’s, and <333′s. (:
I like to think of myself as ‘realistic’. Call it ‘negative’ if you want. :) Though there is much that I don’t talk about here online (details about work, etc.), I think my online self is about the same as my offline self.
I think i’m more likely to type out cathartic things on a blog than irl.
let’s say there are three random people sitting on a bus. they’re not friends or related in any way, other than the fact they’re all on a bus. persons 1 and 2 are chatting, and person 2 says something person 3 doesn’t agree with. person 3 probably just keeps his opinion to himself.
whereas online, if person 1 made a blog and person 2 commented the same thing he said in real life, 3 would @reply 2 and they’d have a stupid internet argument.
people are somehow braver online and do/say dumb things they would never think of doing in real life.
do you see arrogant twentysomething girls standing on benches with loudspeakers proclaiming the rest of the females in the world (except the elite, of course) to be “cunts”? would it be normal for a grown man to pretend to be a sassy and classy girl? do people lurk and wait for someone they don’t like to say something so they can instantly tell them how much they hate them?
no, not in real life. but this happens in the wonderful world of xanga.
Nope
Hmmmm I’m about the same online and off. I’m pretty much a blunt person and if I have a problem with you I will tell you…with good reason of course
I’m just me online. IRL, I vary between being more negative or more positive – but whichever it is, I stick with it when I’m online as well.
@ShimmerBodyCream - That’s debatable.
I’ll speak my mind either way. Negative or positive. I just take a little more time to think before I type online then I do to speak in person.
well not 100% of the time, but i will be pretty angry on xanga until i get it all out then the real world thinks i’m fine.
Medicines and friendships cure our problems. The only difference is that friendships don’t have an expiry date.
I’m almost as bitchy and opinionated face to face as through any media, weather telephone, snail mail, or computer-world.
I can very much be more negative on my Xanga. Its where I go to vent out frustrations. But many of those posts arent open to the public! Otherwise, I try to avoid the negativity – it hurts the person spewing it the most.
@ItsWhatEyeKnow - Oh, oops, I misread.
Well, that was just stupid of them.
I try not to be but maybe I am because I know I can get away with it
Not too much actually.
I would agree with I_Create too. There’s no difference. Saying mean things about people online for them to read is hurtful. Although there can be worse altercations when you literally know the person outside of the internet. Specially when it’s concerning a boss or company that you work for. Now a days people are being fired for not thinking about what they type in the open to their friends on facebook. Same could go for on Xanga if you are unlucky enough to get caught. It depends on what you are willing to risk though.
I think when you are writing it is easier to express yourself with words and that is a reason maybe your wife thinks that and I agree with her and plus ppl maybe more mean online because they are not in your face saying what they typed
I’ve been mean to others on the internet before, but I think that was the lowest thing I’ve ever gone before. EVER! I actually can’t believe I said those things. I can’t believe it, me a kind person in the outside world, would use such underhanded tactics to scare someone away. It’s not like I haven’t been a victim to it either. Currently, my boss/ex and my coworkers/his friends are ignoring my emails. Here’s to losing my job =)
I feel like I’m more me online because when I speak to someone face-to-face, I tend to scramble my words. I’m not more negative online, though. I’m a pretty kind-natured person. I mean, unless you’re a troll.
I’m pretty much as negative IRL as I am online.
I’m honest.
No I am about the same though I certainly do not talk about politics as much.
But then I am not negative here ether, unless you’re an idiot or a liar.
Hmm oddly though, I’m more cheerful online – maybe because there is no stress and it’s just a comp screen and myself.
Yes.
Yeah im more negative online
No. Not me.
@I_Create - Good point. Best one made here in a while.
@ShimmerBodyCream - haha I agree completely!
I think a lot of people can be more insulting online because they have more time to think as they’re typing rather then when they’re speaking, so confrontation is a lot easier than in person. Also, you can’t see the person that you’re attacking and they can’t see you, so you don’t have to feel intimidated. I think that’s why a lot of people start with me online, but say nothing in person ;]
No I am a mean assed old woman online as well as in real life:):):) Truthfully, I am a very nice person and am usually considerate of other peoples feelings.
Out of line.
Yeah, I’m more negative online. I’m not always a j*ck*ss like other people though. Sometimes, it’s all in good fun. Sometimes, it’s defending oneself. Sometimes, it’s harassing another person. Sometimes, it’s correcting their spelling or grammar. That’s the simplest way I can break it down, unless I’ve missed other reasons people are nastier online.
Nope.
tell me about it!
no…
I think people tend to be more honest and less inhibited, if they come off negative its because that’s who they really are
Nah, I’m about the same. Mean/Negative wise.
Of course.
Negativity sucks the life right out of me. Why waste energy being negative or constantly view negative posts? In today’s world with today’s problems, we all need to have a reality check and make some changes in our attitudes and personalities. Before I slap the negativity right out of everyone.
Nope. I’m a bitch everywhere ;D
Nope, I’m mean on here and irl.
I admit it. Guilty as charged. When I’m online I sometimes am more bold and less kind than offline. I get angry easier about what people say too.
Real life……what an interesting concept.
I’m always positive. A ray of fucking sunshine.
Nah. I’m not negative
I try not to be. I do notice people are nasty when they’re online because they can remain anonymous. So sad.
En vida real…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHcdc8dRbY8
Lol naw I say whatever comes to mind online or in the real world
Makes it more furn that way <3
I tend to be less negative online, however, I tend to express my negativity more publicly online than to people face to face. This in turn makes me less negative as an overall percentage online when compared to offline.
It’s not whether online is real or whatnot, it’s that online, people are less inhibited. Unfortunately, being less inhibited means saying and doing stupid things.
Yes. People say things online that they wouldn’t say face to face because it gives them something to hide behind.
That’s the thing with people, they feel that as they are behind their computer and not saying it directly to a person’s face that it comes out easier.
Many people do things through the internet, or even texts and stuff, confessions, insults, whatever it is, it’s always easier online than having to say it directly.I guess when you have to do it to someone’s face, the chances of you gettin smacked in the face for saying it comes to mind, but the possibility of that happening after you say it online doesn’t even come to mind until you are confronted later by that said person.
The reverse, actually. Nothing online is private anymore, and I don’t want my words to haunt me later on.
more negative online.
no
I think it’s just easier to go off over the internet then it is in real life.